Don't Call Me Nymphadora
by Hinotima24
Summary: You-know-who wants Nymphadora to be part of his army and Dumbledore decides to allow nature to take its course. Nymphadora, the vivacious witch, decides to take on this 'challenge'. Along the way, she loses more than she expects to. No mary-sue. AU. RL/NT
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey! This would be my first attempt writing a fanfiction about Harry Potter after writing fanfiction for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. This fic would be centralized around Tonks and completely AU (although some part of the main timeline might still be mixed in between). This chapter is only a small build-up to the upcoming plot. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1: School

"Ow! I'm so sorry, sorry…sorry!" Nymphadora Tonks rambled as she ploughed laboriously through crowds of students, tripping, stomping on other's foot and even elbowing some. Unfortunately, she was still on the stairs of the sixth floor while in the dungeon, she imagined Snape was probably already instructing the class of Slytherin and Hufflepuffs what to do, minus Tonks.

Snape…That idiot of a professor…She muttered incessantly to herself as she rushed. He was new too, having just become the potions master in her sixth year, following Professor Slughorn's retirement.

In her arms, she was cradling thick potions notes as well as charms. She had been studying with Charlie Weasley just moments ago, trying to brush up her charms before facing the N.E.W.T examinations.

It had took her great pains to get where she was, having scored mostly her 'Outstanding' in her O. since her long time ambition had been to be an auror

Tonks ran down the last flight of stairs and stumbled into the dungeon, sending her books all over the place.

"Merlin!" Tonks cried in exasperation as she hastily scooped her books back into her arms and upon adjusting her bag, which was already filled with notes and books; she made a final last dash to the potions classroom.

Approaching the large heavy oak door, Tonks slowly opened it, cringing as the room fell into silence. She looked down, unwilling to even shoot a glance up, knowing that every pair of eyes in the room is now looking at her.

"Nymphadora," She heard him emphasized every single syllable of her horrid name curtly.

Clenching her fist which was previously used to push open the oak door, she swallowed her anger and spoke, "Good afternoon professor." Tonks lowered her gaze, staring intently at the cold concrete flooring.

"You're late." Snape's voice stated cuttingly. Without looking up, Tonks could imagine him folding his arms.

"I'm-"

"Detention." He snapped, "After dinner, in my office." Then suddenly, the class bustled with activity again as the students continued going around retrieving the needed ingredient. She didn't miss the Slytherins sniggering at her as she brushed past them to get to her assigned table.

Normally, she'd have hexed them so badly that even their own mother wouldn't recognize them but after a strict warning from Professor Sprout that her bad behaviour might threaten her chances of becoming an Auror, Tonks started to swallow everything they teased her about.

Even Charlie said she'd changed so much.

"Hey! Where were you?" Jan hissed as she continued throwing ingredients into the pot.

"Studying. Didn't notice the time…" Tonks sighed as she glanced up at the board for what they were brewing and got to work immediately.

"Tonks, come on! We all-" Jan instantly fell silent, continuing her work. Tonks grabbed her stuff and trudged her way over to the ingredient cabinet and started with her potion, ignoring Snape as she passed him.

"Tonks, we're all working towards ours arses off for N.E. but you've changed…" Jan huffed as she ran to catch up with Tonks, who took her bag and left the moment she handed up her work to Snape.

Tonks resisted the urge to squirm under her friend's stare, "Look, I gotta meet Charlie; I'll catch up with you later." Without another word, Tonks took off to the Great Hall, knowing Charlie was having his study period.

Plenty of people made fun of her on the way to the Great Hall but Tonks took it all in silently, faintly aware of the fact that her hair was now blonde and not the usual bubblegum pink she liked. She'd made many enemies from her first year here, mostly by hexing them just for using her first name or teasing her hair.

"You okay?" Charlie turned to her, beckoning her to sit beside him. She sat down at the Gryffindor' table beside him.

A few first years glanced at her, uncomfortable but most of the seven years were used to Tonks's presence at their table; likewise, most of the Hufflepuffs were used to Charlie's presence at their table.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Tonks glanced over her shoulder at them before looking at him. He had both eyebrows raised, "I was late for Snape's lesson…"

Charlie cringed, "Lemme guess, detention in his office after dinner?"

Tonks glared at him before sighing and nodding sullenly.

"Get over it Tonksie! You got detention a hundred times when you hexed his students into the hospital wing!" Charlie exclaimed. Tonks scowled at him.

"Now my career is at stake!" Tonks grumbled, pulling out her charms book.

"Tonks, seriously? I doubt getting a few detentions would get you kicked out of the list of possible Aurors." Charlie shook his head, "And anyway, if you do, you can join me! In Romania."

"Please Charlie," Tonks smirked, "I'm not as exotic as the dragons there." She nudged him in the ribs teasingly.

Charlie grinned, "You could morph to be."

Tonks punched him in the shoulder.

Dear Tonks,

Heard from Charlie you're having a hard time in Hogwarts, something about your career. Don't kill yourself thinking about it, seriously. Be the Tonks I know! The one who always cause trouble, the one who not only goes to bed after the curfew but stayed up the whole night playing pranks, the one who can't decide between the hair colour of neon green and bubblegum pink! Write to me.

Love,

The perfect prefect, Bill.

Bill,

I'm fine, don't listen to Charlie, we all know he exaggerates. I am just more well-behaved nowadays (which you'll be happy to know) My grades seem to be improving but according Charlie, not my temper. But you're right, it was much easier back then to be myself, disregarding all the rules and having nothing to lose…anyway, whatever it is, I can't get myself away from detention. I just earned one from Snape and am heading there now. I miss having you always covering up for me when I break the rules!

Love,

Tonksie.

Tonks scribbled hastily before securing it on the foot of the school owl. She gave it some food as a reward just before it took off. Tonks sighed heavily before picking up her abandoned school bag from the floor and left the owlery for the dungeon.

She rapped her knuckles on the door and heard Snape's curt order to enter.

"Nymphadora,"

Tonks rolled her eyes, unable to resist herself.

"I'm surprised you are able to resist the temptation to change your hair colour since potion class."

Tonks bit her lips to prevent her gob from opening and letting out a string of curses at Snape for that. She shrugged, the recently overused non-committed reply.

Snape ignored her and continued, "You will clean up the potions store and get it done in an hour. I suggest you get to work." He added the last statement as she rolled her eyes again.

"Of course, Professor Snape." She replied, grumbling as she picked up the rag where she just left them at the corner of the office in the cupboard. It seems no one get detention from him nowadays apart from her.

"Just like your cousin, whiney, useless," Snape muttered

Tonks stopped in her tracks to the potion storeroom, "Don't talk about Sirius like that." She growled through her teeth, closing a fist around the rag. Finally, days of holding it all in exploded, "You have no rights to say that about him!" Tonks snapped, throwing down the cloth.

Within seconds, Snape stood up from his desk and walked up to her so quickly that Tonks was taken aback. She shuffled back quickly as he approached her, "Your cousin is a swine, just like his friends!"

Tonks glared at him even as she was backed against a wall with a very murderous looking Severus Snape seething in her face.

"No!" She shouted like an indignant child, "He's not! He's honourable and brave!"

Snape scoffed, "Get out," He sneered, his eyes flashing with anger.

Without a backward glance, Tonks grabbed her bag and stomped out, unsuccessful in her exit as she tripped over the rag. She got up with a huff and left, wishing she wasn't so clumsy.

Tonks intended to head to the library, already in no mood for dinner. On her angry way there, she broke into tears. Rubbing them off roughly with the back of her hands, she turned to make a detour, escaping into a hidden tunnel which was a shortcut to one of classrooms from the dungeon.

She dropped her bag by her side and curled up, sobbing. _It wasn't fair…_

Sirius hadn't done anything wrong!

In all her years at Hogwarts, she'd stood out because of her ability to morph and not everyone treated her well. Instead of trying to blend in with a normal hair colour, like her mother had suggested, she'd always stood up for herself. Tonks was never short of hexing anyone into the next century if they even give the slightest insult to her, even since her First year.

Sirius had taught her those, of course only the incantations, when he came over to baby-sit her since she was just a few months old. Her mother was constantly kept busy when she had to run errands and her dad was always working to keep their stomachs full, so when they let her down, there was always her cousin.

She'd took an instantly liking to him, there was just something about the mischievous glint in his grey eyes that drawn her to him in admiration.

Tonks'd heard about the darker but very vague story of her mother's family at a young age, ironically through Sirius, who against Andromeda's will, went ahead to tell young Nymphadora all about her evil Aunts.

That was why Tonks wanted to be an Auror. It was never in her nature to sit back in the first place and she knew for a fact that not all Blacks were Dark wizards and witches.

She knew one who not only was not a dark wizard but hated dark magic to the very core. Tonks knew that Sirius Black is good; he's innocent of whatever crime everyone has said he'd committed. As cliché as it sounded, Tonks felt she needed to redeem that family name, she wanted to make right everything that was wrong. And, there's even a possibility of her clearing Sirius's name.

She wanted to stand up for whatever she believed it. But truthfully, Tonks had no idea how she was going to do that when she wasn't even able to stand up for Sirius against _one _Professor.

Wearily, Tonks wiped her tears on the sleeve of her robe. Wiping her face more thoroughly of tears, she picked up her bag headed straight for the library.

She slammed her Defence against the Dark Arts book down on the table, ignoring the annoyed glare she got from the librarian as she sank down into her seat. Tonks crossed her arms on the book and lay her head down.

"_Are you sure?" Tonks's four-year-old legs struggled to keep up with Sirius as they walked out of the kitchen. _

"_Yes! You'll be an extraordinary witch one day! Oh yes I hear it! Nymphadora Tonks, the great Auror, striking down her evil Aunts with one stroke from her wand!" Young Tonks made a face as her first name was said but beamed at her cousin's exaggerated display of magnificence. _

"_Are you kidding with me?" Tonks just had to ask, knowing people like him always loved to say things like that to pacify her talk about being an Auror. _

"_No, didn't you hear? I'm always Sirius!" She screamed as he swopped down and scooped her into his arms. Without missing a beat, he dropped down into a couch, cradling her firmly. Before she knows it, she was looking into his earnest eyes, "You'll be great Nymphadora, so brave and smart, no doubt will be the best Auror in history." He grinned. _

_Tonks stared up in wonder at him as he said that to her. _

"_Sirius-ly." He added and dove in to tickle her. _

"Sirius," She murmured his name, feeling his name roll off her tongue smoothly. Tonks sat up with renew vigor as she opened her book and started on her essay.

To be continued…

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	2. Chapter 2: Training

Chapter 2: Training

"This is not a game! You'll never learn anything if you don't learn to take this seriously!"

Tonks's head was already aching badly—due to a stunning spell he'd shot at her and hit her in the head—and Mad-Eye's shouting was not helping. Mad-Eye barked at her harshly while she ran and ducked the spells he was shooting at her with incredible speed.

"You'll not be fighting me when you're out there and you'll be dead everytime you're hit!" Mad-Eye shot another, brushing her cheek and scorching her. She winced, flinching for a moment before ducking down to dodge a spell which whizz pass her.

She panted and took the opening to fire another spell at her mentor. It went haywire and hit into his walking stick, sending it into the wall behind him.

"Merlin-" Tonks cried as she tripped over her own foot, trying to jump out of the way of one of Mad-eye's spell.

She heard a huff and for a moment, as she reached for her wand which lay abandoned by her side, the spells stopped. She risked a glance up at her old Mentor to see his normal and common 'I-want-to-kill-you-cause-you-tripped' look. Instantly, she scrambled to her feet. The moment she was standing, a spell whizzed at her, brushing her arm as she leaned back.

"Stupefy!" Tonks aimed it at her mentor who has yet to move more than 5 steps since their training started but has managed to make her run just about a hundred circles while trying to avoid his spells.

"Nice try," She heard Mad-Eye snarled as he practically waved away her weak but well aimed spell before casting his own.

She saw a jet of red light approaching fast and she attempted to duck but was hit her on her shoulder, sending her backwards and onto the floor.

Tonks struggled to get pass the headache and the throbbing shoulder and get up but before she know it, Mad-Eye Moody was already upon her, the tip of his wand in her face, pointed right in between her eyes.

She glanced incredously between him and his retrieved walking stick. She'd assume she'd at least immobolised him by getting rid of his walking stick but apparently not…

"You need to put in more work then that lass," Moody said, keeping his wand in his hand even as he turned around, his electric blue magical eye whirling around as he surveyed the room.

Tonks got up, rubbing her rear as it became sore from her two falls, "Yes sir…" She replied, sighing.

She was already in 2 months of Auror Training. The first month having been wasted of waiting for an appropriate mentor for her; which was Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, whom she'd heard just returned handling a case with one of death eaters. During that time of waiting, she'd received training from more than a few Aurors, few of which could compare to the intense training she'd been receiving from Moody.

She'd receive a small note from Scrimgeour that she'll be attached to Moody since he was 'available' and now here she was, with her sore back and aching head. Charlie had practically sent his congratulations and deepest condolences to her the moment he'd heard of that news from her last letter, Bill had remained the calm and collected older brother she was missing in her life and her mum and dad couldn't have been prouder of their daughter.

Moody grunted and limped, hastily, to the door. Tonks started after him; the clonking of his wooden leg reverberated around her as if to amplify the presence of her grouchy mentor. She jogged to join him across the room, stowing her wand away in her robes.

"What did I tell you lass?" Moody barked, not even pausing to glance back at her, no doubt noticing that through his magical eye. Tonks mentally slapped herself before drawing her wand again.

"Constant vigilance," Tonks rolled her eyes, holding her wand in a firm grip by her side.

Moody opened the door gruffly to reveal a young man at the door. The young man had neat combed dark blond hair, sharp nosed and a slight frown on his lips as he came face to face with Alastor Moody.

"It's Jensen Dane sir," Dane spoke, extending his hand to Moody.

An awkward silent atmosphere filled the doorway as Moody stared at the man's face, a silent refusal of a handshake; one of things Moody would _never_ except in his life.

Tonks couldn't help but snickered, bringing up her hand hurriedly across her face, pretending to nurse her burnt cheek as Moody turned around.

"You, head to my office now," He ordered, a rough bark. Tonks nodded, squeezing pass the two men in the doorway and walked briskly to the office, her wand still in her hand. She hadn't miss the look Dane shot her, smirking. She shuddered and picked up her pace.

Upon entering the office, Tonks took the opportunity to have a proper look at her wound. Her cheek still stung. She shuffled to the side where Moody kept a glass of snacks and checked her wound in the reflection.

"Ouch…" She winced upon touching it. On her cheek, was a long red and angry looking burn which spreaded from her cheekbone to her ear, "Damn it," Tonks cursed; blaming everything on her clumsy limbs. She pushed her purple hair out of her cheek before continuing her assessment on it, toying with the idea of concealing it with her metamorphagus abilities.

She was vaguely aware of the voices approaching. The moment she registered it, she straightened up, making sure her wand was in hand and stood in front of the desk just as the door swung open. Tonks spun around, wand ready as she took in the sight of a flushed Jensen Dane with her always calm and collected but murderous looking Mentor.

"But-"

"Enough said. That's all for today." Moody grumbled and Tonks watched as Dane reluctantly stayed behind while Moody entered his office. She didn't miss the look of resentment, almost jealousy that Dane shot her as Moody shut the door in his face.

"Sir?" Tonks began as Moody walked to his chair and slumped down in it. He acknowledged her with a slight grunt, "Who is he?"

"Jensen Dane," He replied and Tonks resisted the urge to cry out in frustration. She already knew that!

"Yes, but what did he want?" She pressed on.

Moody looked at with both his electric eye and his normal one, "Now that's none of a trainee's concern is it?" Tonks scowled, looking away, "But since you asked, fair warning, he might be trained by me from tomorrow."

"What?" Tonks gaped, "But…" _what about me?_ She didn't add that, no need to get herself burnt again by an angry mad-eye.

"You'll be training alongside him." Moody replied as he reached for his snacks, offering her one, "Until he gets a transfer to another." Tonks took the snack and began opening it, mildly waving her wand at it to check for any poison. He muttered unintelligently to her ears about Scrimgeour as he ate the snack.

Silence overtook the office as Tonks ate the snack gingerly, feeling the sting of the burnt on her cheek.

"That'll be it for today Nymphadora," Tonks scowled darkly at the casual address of her name, "Meet me tomorrow at 6am here."

"Okay," She nodded and turned to the door.

"Nymphadora,"

Rolling her eyes, Tonks turned, raising her eyebrows. He beckoned her over with his free hand as his other held his wand up. Cautiously, Tonks approached him. _Only Merlin knows what tricks he's up to this time, probably a wand stab to the ribs._ She mused as she gripped her wand firmly.

"Put that away," He snapped, annoyed. She lowered her wand and stood by his chair. Moody grabbed her shoulder and pulled her down to his level roughly. Swiftly, he pressed the wand tip to her burnt cheek and muttered a spell. She winced as her wound burnt a little. Subconsciously, her hand flew up to feel her skin back in one piece after Moody removed his wand.

"Thanks," Tonks muttered. Predictably, Moody grunted before turning back to his work, flipping through a stack of paperwork. Without another word, Tonks left his office, unable to wait to get into the warmth of her bed.

However, upon silently closing the door behind her, Tonks stifled a scream and instantly raised her wand on the man at the door, her mouth ready to deliver the hex.

Tonks found herself face to face with Jensen Dane.

"Sorry," Dane raised his hands, palms facing her as he eyed the tip of her wand nervously.

"What are you _still_ doing here?" Tonks asked, curious as she glanced across his robes, noting the blue outline which indicated his status, the same as hers: a trainee. She'd not forgotten the great deal of studying she'd done for her NEWTs so that she can officially be a trainee in the Auror department. Tonks mildly wondered how he felt to be a trainee here…

After 2 months as a trainee, Tonks couldn't help but hope for some interaction with fellow trainees apart from Aurors, who looked at her like she was a 5 year old child in the wrong place.

"Erm…y'mind?" He replied her puzzling expression with a sharp glance down at her wand.

"Oh," Tonks lowered her wand, holding it firmly at her side, "You haven't answered my question." She met his eye properly for the first time since they met. Instantly, she noticed how actually charismatic he was, and charming.

She quickly morphed away her blush as he smiled, almost a smirk.

"I was waiting for…" he turned back to the door of Mad-Eye's office.

"I'm under the impression you can't wait to see him for whatever it is, but clearly, he won't want to see you this moment so why don't you just leave him in peace before he hex your head off," Tonks rattled on intelligently, "You can talk again tomorrow." She added, for good measures.

Dane seemed to be forcing back an amused chuckle, "Sounds like advice from experience."

Tonks shrugged, a non-committed answer; her training 'to be less friendly with people you don't know', courtesy of Mad-eye, kicking it. As he'll say: Anyone could be the enemy.

She strutted down the corridor quickly, getting back to her initial plan of a hot bathe and cuddling up in her warm bed.

"Hey!" Dane ran to catch up, "Nympha-"

That definitely did the trick.

"_Don't_ call me that!" She all but spun around sharply and shrieked in his face, surprised that this action hadn't caused her to stumble over her own foot.

"What?" Dane frowned, apparently puzzled.

"Don't call me _Nymphadora_!" She hissed that name, obviously delivering her distaste for her name quite well as Dane clamped his mouth shut, nodding.

"So…how 'bout beautiful?" Dane suggested.

Tonks snorted. She'd known these sorts of boys before: back at Hogwarts. They lay eyes on probably the first metamorphagus they've ever seen and is probably thinking of wonders she could do for their personal pleasure, this leading to flirting and compliments she herself didn't think she deserved.

Without another word, she turned and just about ran to the floo network.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but you really look cute when you're mad." Dane practically shouted after her, through the crowd of ministry workers.

"Why are you following me?" Tonks raised her wand threateningly at his chest, ready to hex if necessary.

"Can't we have a drink? To celebrate our partnership."

"Not really," Tonks shook her head, feign a smile and walked into a free fireplace. Grasping a handful of floo powder, she threw it and says the words of a bar close to her flat.

She stumbled out of fireplace, her coat catching the soot and sending them across the clean stone floor.

"Tonks!" The familiar lament of the barkeeper filled her ears.

Tonks smiled sheepishly at the tall but slightly plump woman as she approached, ready to clear the mess.

The barkeeper sighed, shaking her head before clearing up the mess as Tonks trudged out of the bar apologetically.

It had been a while since Tonks moved out from her parents' to 'get closer to work' but she'd yet to unpack into her new flat. Tonks was glad her mother didn't get the opportunity to visit.

Andromeda has always been a stickler for cleanliness and unfortunately, her daughter had taken after her father's sloppiness instead of her mother's talent for household-y spells.

Tonks walked all the way back to her flat, too exhausted and aching to trust herself to apparate without splinching.

Practically crawling out of bed, Tonks washed up sleepily and got dressed. It wasn't until Moody growled at the appearance of her hair, then did Tonks squinted to alter it so it was short and spiky. Then, she lazily drove her free hand into it and it fell into place immediately.

Dane watched, mouth agape but Moody couldn't go anything far from an accepting grunt.

He briefed both his mentees on the training today. It was easy to grasp by Tonks: Retrieve two 'people' from that house and not be killed.

It was only until Moody added the information that Dane and Tonks would have to work together to get this done, did Tonks truly wake.

"What?" Tonks straightened up immediately, "You're kidding me?"

Moody looked her dead in the face, conveying his I'm-not-kidding message quite well. Tonks sighed in defeat, nodding.

"What are you waiting for then?" Moody demanded and without another word, he apparated away, no doubt in the house lying in wait for his two mentees.

Tonks groaned audibly as she walked towards the house, alert but disappointed that she was stuck with Dane.

"Hey, don't act like I'm such a difficult person to get along with," Dane told her cheerily as they approached the house.

_You never know…_Tonks grunted, barely acknowledging that she'd heard him as she stood at the door. She glanced to Dane and received a gesture for her to do the honors.

Tonks held her wand firmly before releasing the lock with a simple spell and prodding it with the tip of her wand. The wooden door slid smoothly open to reveal long dark corridors ahead.

"Lumos," Tonks muttered and surged forward, flanked by Dane. Instantly, a spell shot out from the stairway. Tonks dropped to her knees to dodge, ignoring the plight of Dane as she ran forward in pursuit of the origin of the spell. She concentrated on not losing her balance as she ran up the steps, aware of Dane following close behind, "Stop!" Tonks shouted and sent a stunning spell across the corridor, missing the person just as he slipped into a room.

As soon as Tonks pushed open the door of the room which the man slipped into it and laid her eyes on the empty room; she'd knew they'd been tricked.

"Where is-" Dane started.

"We've been fooled…" Tonks muttered, knowing what's going to happen. She turned to face Dane. Instantly, she grasped at his robe, pulling him down. He cried out in shock before collapsing to the ground. A spell flew just pass the top of Dane's head, hitting the wall in the room and singed the wood, "Stupefy!" Tonks cried, narrowly missing the person who casted the spell.

"What in Merlin's name…" Dane spun around and took off, leaving Tonks to run after him. Without warning, Tonks crashed to the ground, tripping over, as usual. She cursed the jutting floorboard, _probably one of mad-eye's ideas of a test…_

"Go!" Tonks hissed as she winced, scrambling to her feet. Dane nodded and took off to the other end down the corridor. Cursing under her breath, Tonks rubbed her knee with her free hand as the other held her wand up firmly. Suddenly, there was a loud clonking in the next room which she could only know so well. _Mad-Eye…_

Tonks sucked in a quiet but nervous breath and stopped breathing altogether, keeping as quiet as she can. She decided to go on a tip-toe and took every step with very deliberate movement; this normally prevented her from stumbling.

The clonking stopped abruptly and so did Tonks. She knew better, this had to be a trap. But it takes more than a possible idea of a trap to stop her…

She prodded the door open slowly, unsure what to expect. In a distance, she could hear a loud crash; probably Dane already finding one of the victims out of the two which they were supposed to rescue or he was knocked out cold. Although Tonks was confused by this mission, she didn't ask, knowing questioning her old Mentor would result in a knock in the head if she was lucky.

Her heart was pounding in her chest but not out of fear, only out of anticipation.

She entered the room, yet again faced with an empty and musty one. Her ears registered a slight movement of the wind behind her and instantly, she spun around, thrusting her wand out in front of her, with a hex in mind already ready to roll off her tongue.

It was Dane.

He eyed the tip of wand before speaking, "Do I really have to always be the one found on the wrong end of your wand?" He raised an eyebrow, "Found one, " He heaved, having held a dummy by the back of its coat, "A fake one but definitely weigh as-"

"Protego!" Tonks cried, shoving Dane aside. He cried out in shock and maybe, pain, as he fell to the ground with the dummy. A jet of white light rebounded off her shield, "We got to get out of this room," Tonks muttered to Dane quickly, already reprimanding herself for getting them trapped.

She held up her wand nervously as Dane shuffled out of the room quickly, heaving the dummy over his shoulder, complaining about the weight.

They got to the top landing of the stairs and Tonks turned to Dane, "get this dummy out or something; I'll continue looking for the next one." Dane looked like he was about to protest so she continued, "if we bring it with us, it'll just slow us down. We won't be able to fight off the next attack…" Her voice trailed off and her face paled. She was quite sure her hair changed colour without her intentions as Dane's face scrunched up in awe, the way it always did when she morphed.

Quickly, she turned just in time to feel a spell hit her square in the chest. Tonks felt herself fall back and winced as her back hit the steps of the stairs. Instinctually, she kept her hands to herself and tried to curl up to prevent less damage due to the fall. She cried out as her head stuck something but her cry was cut short as she continued her long tumble down the stairs.

She landed roughly at the bottom of the stairs, stopping on her back. Tonks opened her eyes, to see blurry visions of the ceiling. She could hear thumping as someone rushed down the stairs. There was a 'pop' beside her but before she could turn to see, her mind whirled uncontrollably and she felt her world go black.

~:~:~:~

Tonks came to consciousness. Her head ached. She heard a grunt as she felt herself being jostled a little before a familiar voice perked her senses, "Lass?"

"Nymphadora? Is she alright?"

She could barely get her bearings much less stand up to beat Dane senseless for using that name.

Tonks forced her eyes open, wincing as light filled her vision. Slowly, she saw a shadow over her and her eyes adjusted to make out the face of Moody, looking up at someone with an annoyed expression; whom she assumed was Dane.

Moody shifted and blocked the light from her, looking down at her, he asked her gruffly, "How are ya feeling?"

"Like I've been kicked by a hippogriff…" Tonks muttered, bringing her hand up to touch her head.

"Huh…" Moody grunted in acknowledgement.

"Wow, Nymphadora, you've definitely looked better before." Dane's face filled her vision behind Moody's head.

She scowled at him with what energy she had left. Instantly, a wave of dizziness shot through her head. Tonks groaned, leaning her head against the rough fabric at her side. As she did so, she realized it was Moody's arm. It surprised her that he didn't push her aside, demanding that she get up on her feet at once. Instead, she felt the back of his rough calloused hand touched her forehead.

"We'll be bringing you to St. Mungo." Moody told her before turning to Dane, "Wait back at the office for me." He muttered something about writing a report before jostling her. Tonks groaned again, burying her face into the rough fabric, as her shoulder was shifted.

She heard a soft pop and muttered, "Something's definitely broken…"

"Your shoulder has seen better days, and your head." Moody replied, "I'll have to side-long you." He briefly informed her and suddenly, her head was spinning and she felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed, accompanied by someone this time.

It stopped as quickly as it started but Tonks found herself throwing up her non-existent breakfast all over the smooth polished floor of the hospital. She felt a strong pair of arms heave her up. The person's support was soon replaced by about a dozen of hands.

Tonks could hear the mediwitch fussing over her while they conjured a stretcher but as someone got her on it, she threw up again over the front of that unfortunate person. She tried to apologise but that attempt made her dizzy. Tonks lifted her head to meet the person's eye but instead, her head lolled to the side and she was out cold.

~:~:~:~

Tonks came to her senses, hearing muttering nearby. Instinctually, she reached to her side for her wand but only felt the soft fabric of the hospital's clothes. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times to clear away the blurriness before glancing to her side, expecting to see her mum all over her bedside crying and her dad comforting her but neither of her parents were there.

The chair by her bed was empty.

With a weary sigh, she reached up to touch her throbbing head, feeling the rough fabric of bandages.

"You hit your head pretty bad,"

Tonks dropped her hand on her side and looked at the source of that. She found Jensen Dane, hunched over a book at the tip of her bed. He looked up, smiling.

"Moody just left to get some paperwork done. He said to give you this." Dane left his book on the table and handed her wand over.

"Thanks…" She muttered, feeling the familiar wood in her hand did assure her, "what happened?" The metamorphagus asked, already squinting in concentration as she changed her hair from mousy brown to bright bubblegum pink.

"You got a tumble down the stairs. Hit your head on the sides of the stairs. It was pretty bad for a while with cracks running down your skull," Tonks shuddered as he continued; "You broke and twisted your arm. And mediwitch said you might be experiencing a concussion when you wake."

Tonks sighed_, yup…she was definitely a little down on the luck side…this was one of her worst falls._

Then, the door flung open to reveal a very enraged Moody in the doorway. He clonked noisily to her bedside, his magical blue eye whirling around in its socket unnaturally quickly.

"Wotcher…" Tonks greeted him warily.

"Get back to the office, Dawlish would take care of your training for the rest of today."

Without another word, Dane swooped up his book and left, mouthing a 'get well soon' to her.

When he was out of the room, Moody went to her bedside.

"That was very poor demonstration of what I've been teaching you," Moody started.

Tonks ducked her gaze to the wall behind him, "Ain't my fault…I was delirious with running around the dingy old house …" Her voice trailed off, "What are we doing rescuing people anyway and working with Dane…"

Moody seemed to glare at her with his normal brown eye for a moment before sitting down in the chair, his glare reducing to a stare, "A dark wizard catcher is the definition of an Auror but rescuing someone from a Dark wizard is still within the jurisdiction of an Auror!" he snapped at her.

"I'd have had the 'dark wizard' if it were a real dark wizard!" She protested, "and not an Auror."

"Having let your guard down and now landing yourself in , you still have the cheek to make up excuses," Moody muttered something about childish and stubborn before continuing his lecture, "You never, _never_ let your guard down even for a second! Never! Especially on a mission. Constant Vigilance!"

Tonks rolled her eyes to the ceiling at his lecture but a small voice at the back of her head constantly nudged her, convincing her that Mad-Eye was actually concerned to be nagging like that…

"Never knew you were always so cheerful after getting someone into a hospital." She mumbled, looking down at her wand.

Moody snorted, "You got all that injury from rolling down that flight of stairs like a crazed banshee,"

Tonks scowled at him before closing her eyes for a moment, feeling drained.

"You shouldn't be morphing," He pointed it out casually as he looked out the window, his blue magical eye whizzing in the opposite direction. Tonks let go of her pink bubblegum hair and closed her eyes.

"Just whose shirt did I vomit on?" She asked curiously.

"Remus Lupin." Moody replied, still looking out the window.

"Who?" Tonks frowned.

"Remus happened to be around after signing in. He heaved you positively up that stretcher while the mediwitches were fussing." Moody replied.

"Signing in?" Tonks repeated, already visualizing a Moody-look-a-like with sore joints and frail body. But that definitely went against the blurry memory she had of the pair of strong arms.

"Thanks to the ministry who, for whatever reason, thinks that they have to have the background information of every werewolf in Britain." Moody grunted, "as if that would track down the one responsible for those cases."

"Werewolf?" She muttered under her breath.

"Don't worry, that werewolf has yet to demand for a compensation for that cardigan yet." Moody patted her bandaged arm, ignoring as she winced.

Tonks struggled to comprehend that a _werewolf _actually heaved her up on a stretcher and actually didn't pull her hair out and screamed at her for vomiting down the front of his cardigan. _Of course he wasn't an actually wolf at that time,_ she chided herself as she pictured a big fuzzy wolf running to her aid in the middle of .

"Thanks…I think…" Tonks muttered.

"Thank him yourself when you see him." Moody grunted.

Tonks felt a shiver run down her spine as she thought of meeting a werewolf. Come to think of it, Tonks realized she'd actually had not actually met a werewolf herself, only having heard of their brutality made her steer clear of them. But this werewolf couldn't have been bad… _or maybe_, Tonks mused, _after years of getting screamed at for accidentally spilling potions down others' shirt, not getting screamed at for this has made this a big deal. _

Mad-Eye seemed friendly enough with him to address him by his first name so he couldn't be all that bad…_yeah,_ she decided, _maybe I could thank him personally some day, for that cardigan…_

To be continued…

Please leave a review!

Thanks to the readers and reviewer of chapter 1!

Hope06: Thanks for the review and I hope this chapter hasn't been disappointing


	3. Chapter 3: Moving On

Chapter 3: Moving On

1994 May.

"Expecto Patronum!" Tonks cried out, holding her wand steady. She thought a memory of finally able to disarm Moody during one of their training but the effect to the atmosphere the dementors caused has distracted her. She didn't feel the familiar shudder in her wand as there normally would be if she'd produce a patronus successfully.

Tonks tensed in anticipation. A failure in producing a patronus, by thinking of a strong happy memory, tended to attract Dementors…

She cried out again, feeling her hope, happiness and energy getting forcefully suck from her by a dementor but she kept a firm grip on her wand.

Tonks didn't know it was considered lucky or unlucky to have been blind folded while being trapped in a room with no less than 20 dementors who were deprived off the souls of the prisoners at Azkaban, they were just so hungry.

Tonks crumpled to the floor, feeling another glide down and sucked the happiness from her. She wondered idly how long it would take for them to finally kill her as she lay on the floor, unable to find the will to stand.

She panted, curling up on the floor as the dementors took their turn at her; each time, her scream of agony filled the room, sucking everything she had, her parents smiling faces, her friends thumping her on the back after she'd finally stood up for herself again, heck even her beloved mentor's satisfied expression as he told her she could finally go on to take the test to be an Auror.

As if on cue, one of the dementors glided down, sucking at her and its black bony hands seemed to have caught on her blindfold (which was the muggle method of a cloth concealing the eyes) and promptly tore it off her. Its long nail raked down the front of her face as the cloth fell to the floor.

She didn't know if the scratch drew blood but it was nothing. She shuddered, witnessing the dark eerie room crowded with wandering dementors. It was the most dreaded sight in her life. Her stomach took a plunge as another swooped down and sucked.

Tonks gritted her teeth and struggle to stand. She felt a chill and a heavy shove as a dementor grabbed her around the neck to immobilize her before it started sucking it's fill out of her.

It was like watching her life flash pass her very eyes:

"_You're ready." _

"_We'll all be rooting for you, Dora."_

"_You'll be great Nymphadora; no doubt will be the best Auror in history, Sirius-ly."_

_No,_ she realized. She'd work too hard for just a few dementors to stop her. Tonks cried out in frustration, thrusting her wand out at the dementor. Her wand tip flared once and forced the dementor holding her to release its grip. She fell to the floor.

Glaring angrily at the dementors, she pointed her wand out at them, swiftly picking out another memory, "Expecto Patronum!"

This time, she watched as white fog dissipated from the tip of her wand, forming a ferret. The beautiful animal drove the dementors away, following close instructions by her through her wand as it defended her against the multitude of the dementors' attacks.

She managed to force the dementors to the far corner of the room. Her patronus, seemingly a relatively small ferret, stayed close by despite Tonks's awareness that this terrifying ordeal was over. Her head thundered with the wounds the dementors had caused her but one happy memory kept her sane, the one that saved her. The one that happened about 9 months ago: Watching the production of posters that has her cousin's face all over them. Her witty cousin, Sirius, had somehow escaped from Azkaban. _He's free!_ She couldn't stop that thought. Despite the endless interrogations she'd had because of her relationship with him; that was her happiest memory, the one she'd chosen

As the door flew open and the room flooded with Aurors who were overseeing her test as her examiners, her patronus vanished as she was distracted for a moment. Tonks stood staring into space till she felt a firm grip on her shoulder.

She tightened her hold on her wand, turning to meet the face of her mentor. Mad-Eye Moody had both eyes trained on her as she stared back. She was vaguely aware of the examiners muttering over their clipboards as they concluded their verdict about her performance for this task.

"Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks," A senior Auror, whose name she does not know, read out from the clipboard clearly, "You have completed your final test of determination and resilience. You'll be informed on a later date about the results of your tests." With that, the three examiners left the room.

She felt Mad-Eye guide her out of the room by the hand on her shoulder. Tonks was numbed even as Moody side-apparated her to a different location. As they walked, Tonks realized they were coming to his house. She'd always remember the neglected front garden, the broken fence, the loose gate and the house with its old paint almost completely faded. All these could've been easily treated with a wave of a wand but old Mad-Eye Moody positively thought doing that would be a waste of time_. _No fence gate will stop Lord Voldemort; he'd said when Tonks asked.

"Come on, get you some tea." Moody led the way into the house. Still a little numbed, Tonks followed her old Mentor, sitting down on the familiar couch which she'd always sat on whenever Mad-Eye brought her to his house for some training or lecture, "here." He grunted as she was handed a cup of warm tea.

"Thanks," Tonks muttered.

"M'surprised you remember how to talk after that," Mad-Eye said gruffly. Tonks chuckled bitterly, the dreaded feeling still forming a pit in her stomach from the dementors. She brought herself back to the conversation, amused after knowing that this was as much humor as she'd get out of Mad-Eye Moody.

"I could never forget how to do that." Tonks replied, promptly staring intensely at the wooden floor.

"Or having the cheek." Mad-Eye added.

Tonks looked up to meet his mentor's normal eye; the speed his magical eye made her sick. She forced a smile; quite sure it turned out as a grimace, and was surprised when she was returned with a smirk from him.

"Well done back in there, with the dementors." Mad-Eye drank his tea, "definitely a portrayal of resilience and determination." Tonks didn't miss the pride in his voice as he spoke. His normal eye softened just very slightly from his glare, "But I supposed you always had it in you."

Tonks offered a small crook smile, "you were there too y'know?" She spoke softly, staring into the swirls of her tea, "In my head of course." She swallowed, "Might be the first time ever but you were encouraging me, you told me I was ready for this." She looked up to meet his eye again. Tonks felt weary and not in the mood to tease Mad-Eye like she'd intended to do before the test.

"You come down from a long line of powerful Dark Witches and Wizards," Moody started, as Tonks listened, sipping her tea, "The ministry of course had their fair share of arguments about having someone with 'black' blood into the ministry to take up the training to be an Auror. But a metamorphagus however shunned they are in the wizarding society because of their…" Mad-Eye glanced up at her hair, "quirks," he finished with a smirk, "they still proves to be invaluable to the ministry and to have such power under their command, we all know Cornelius Fudge could never turn his back on it."

Tonks listened, absorbing every word Moody said. For all she knew, he could be revealing to her some top secret information at any turn.

"So here you are, but there was a condition. Someone would have to be there, to make sure." Moody looked at her, now, with contemplative eyes.

"You," Tonks finished what she could tell he wanted to say. Then she realized it. There was a reason for her to be attached to the most efficient and experience Auror in the whole department for a reason, she'd always known. But now she knows. Moody wasn't there just to teach her, he was there to guide her and to keep an eye on her every move in case she is an agent of Voldemort, sent to spy on the ministry. When that happens, Tonks knew they would count on Mad-Eye to subdue her, or maybe even kill her.

She looked up at her mentor, wondering would he really do the necessary if she'd really turned out to be Voldemort's followers, if she would to do his bidding; _would Mad-Eye kill her? Would he have done so if he needed to?_ For the first time, Tonks wondered if her life ever meant anything to her old stubborn mentor; whom for some amusing reason has got to calling her stubborn in her past 2 years and 11 months of being under his wing.

"No," As if reading her mind, which he probably was, using legilimency. Tonks was already aware that he was an accomplished legilimens after he'd spent weeks training her on that, invading her privacy time and again. However, that didn't come up to waste. Tonks was now a considerably accomplished occlumens herself and is sometimes capable of a little legilimency. Apparently, Moody still found a way to her thoughts through her eyes, "I've already seen enough to know."

Tonks looked away, sipping her tea, "But you do see that part of them, in me." She struggled to get it out. The fact that 'Black' blood runs in her veins have been bothering her since she found that out at a young age (thanks to her curiosity, her mother's old year book from Hogwarts and a little mix and match with the face of her notorious Aunt Bellatrix on the Daily Prophet). Tonks had never doubted where her loyalty lies but she doubted her very nature; that side that yearned for power and dark magic.

"Yes," It wasn't a question but Moody answered it anyway, "Their strength is in you, it's how you use it that is important."

"Strength?" Tonks scoffed, "More than half of the people with this 'strength' ended up on the other side."

Moody was studying her carefully, both his eyes trained on her, "One of them is here. A considerably accomplished witch, probably an Auror in a few days."

Tonks chuckled, "You don't even know if I will get in," Tonks paused, hesitant, "Do you?" She probed.

Without so much as a hint, Moody leaned over to fill his cup of tea. Tonks sighed, sensing the change of subject.

"But it wasn't always entirely about the ministry. I wanted to get full mentorship of you," Moody's magical eye spun a full round around the house before getting back to her.

"You doubted me?" Tonks asked, placing her teacup on the table, ignoring it altogether.

"I've heard a lot about you from…Albus and Severus Snape."

If Tonks hadn't been sitting, she'd have doubled over at the latter, "Professor Snape?" She continued, "No wonder the training for the first month you had me was so brutal." She cringed at the memory.

"He lingered particularly about your stubborn and single minded attitude." Moody smirked, "and about the time you had downright argued with him nonetheless."

Tonks instantly remembered the night of detention which turned out to be an argument over the if-Sirius-was-an-idiot issue, "He deserved it."

"Probably." Moody mused, leaning back into his couch as he continued, "The way I hear it, you've got spunk. Just what a young Auror needs."

"So you decided to train me because I argued with Snape?" Tonks frowned, confused.

"No." Moody snapped impatiently, "Because I know you can survive this training without running off and start boot licking just to get a switch of mentors." Moody replied, a hint of amusement on his scarred face.

"Ha-ha…" Tonks said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Then she stopped short, curious all of a sudden, "Wait, who'd you know who did that?" He ignored her.

She watched, puzzled, as Moody suddenly left his seat, clonking to the shelves and retrieving a small box and cotton before returning. He handed it to her.

"For your face." Moody replied her silent question. Tonks reached up to her face and winced, remembering the feel of the claws of the dementor raking her face, "They don't normally do that." He pointed it out.

"Wow, they must really adore me." Tonks muttered, prying the lid off the box with her nails.

Moody took the box from her and after smearing the cotton with some sticky medicine, he dabbed at her cuts.

"I'm touched, sir." Tonks spoke, though not daring to move as Mad-Eye dabbed the area over her eyebrow.

He snorted, "Cut it with the 'sir', from now on, I'll be Mad-Eye, or Moody, whichever."

"Whatever you say, your royal highness," Tonks grinned, glancing up to find her old mentor glaring her, his magical eye whirling "Mad-Eye." She hurriedly corrected herself.

They sat in companionable silence as Mad-Eye finished with her cuts and gave her the whole box, muttering that she should need it more than him soon and about her taking over…

"You're retiring?" Tonks gasped.

"I'll be sitting and waiting for Fudge to make me," Mad-Eye said.

"B-but you can't!" Tonks spluttered, "The Auror department-" She wanted to say 'can't go on without you' but as painful as it was to admit it, she realized they can. It would only be she and some others who would feel the effects of Mad-Eye's departure.

"The ministry hate people who can't sit down on their buttocks and receive instructions, have been waiting for their chance for a while now since this leg," Mad-Eye grumbled, "I guess there'll always be a time for this, since I won't be idle." He clasped her shoulder as she stood to leave.

Tonks wondered what would Mad-Eye be busy about but she knew, if she were to pass and be an Auror, she'll have loads to do.

Everyone knows Harry Potter's unexpected survival has caused the death of Voldemort but with his Death Eaters in Azkaban lamenting how he'll always be back stronger than ever, certain people such as Mad-Eye Moody would never let his guard down and Tonks fully intent on doing so. After all, what have she learnt from Alastor Moody for these 3 years if she hadn't grasp the concept of Constant Vigilance.

Tonks mused as she stepped out of the anti-apparition charm around Mad-Eye's house and apparated to her parents' house.

"Mum?" Tonks called, pushing open the door to the house. She heard rushed footsteps upstairs and quickly morphed her pink hair away; replacing it with blond. That was the most subtle colour apart from her real one that Tonks is willing to put on after hours of bargaining with her mother.

Andromeda practically ran downstairs, pulling her daughter into a firm hug. They held each other for a moment before Andromeda pulled back, holding her daughter at arms length for inspection. Wrinkling her nose, she spoke, "Nymphadora, you smell like-"

"Azkaban?" Tonks cut in, feeling the dread coming back in just thinking about the dementors, "That tends to happen, when you're stuck in a room full of dementors for a bloody Auror test. And their love for me pushed them to give me, this." Tonks gestured to her cuts.

Andromeda shot her a reproachful look for her language before leading her into the kitchen, "Need some medicine on that?"

"No, Mad-Eye's got that covered." Tonks smiled.

_Something sure smells good…_Tonks sniffed as she sat down at the table, "where's dad?" She glanced around the empty living room.

"Visiting the Weasleys. He seems to hit it off with Arthur Weasley quite well," Andromeda replied, instructing the fire at the stoves to stop.

"The one working at the ministry?"

"One and only." Andromeda approached the table, a pan of pasta following her, "Maybe you should drop by?" She hinted in a less than subtle fashion as she conjured 2 plates.

"Mum…" Tonks sighed. Everyone knows of Charlie Weasley's return from Romania but they're even more aware of the possible relationship between her and the second oldest son of the Weasley family.

"Nymphadora, you're not young and it's about time you get someone to be with you for the rest of your life-"

"Mum…I'm only 21…and don't you think it's a little early to talk about marriage and lifelong commitment." Tonks pulled a plate to her and helped herself to the food.

"But you'd know when you meet the right guy, Dora. You can feel it so don't let anything hold you back,"

"Nothing is holding me back, I just don't have that _feeling_," Tonks cringed upon mentioning that sappy word.

"Dora…" Andromeda sighed, touching her daughter's hand. Tonks stopped midway from devouring the pasta, her eyes meeting her mother's.

"Alright…I'll visit Charlie, after this, since I have no where else to go..."

Andromeda brightened up at once, "Okay, I'll get ready something for you to wear."

"Mum, I don't have clothes here…" Tonks's voice trailed away as realization slipped in. _She's going to make me wear one of hers…_Dread filled her as she thought of her mother's array of teenager clothes, "No…" She groaned.

"Yes, Nymphadora," Andromeda said in her no-nonsense voice. Tonks scowled but was quiet, being in no mood to argue but silently, she ate as she plotted her way of escape.

As soon as Tonks finished up the last bit of her pasta, Andromeda placed her utensils down with dignity before grabbing her daughter by her arm and towed her upstairs. The metamorphagus sat broodingly on her mother's bed, wishing she could morph into a rock and stay there forever.

"Here. Try this on." Andromeda turned, "You're about the same height as I was when I was your age so this should fit fine."

Tonks sighed, pulling off her robes and stripping down to her underwear before slipping on the clothes her mother pulled out for her; which was a tight fitting grey blouse, a little too low on the neckline for Tonks's liking, and a blue mini skirt.

"Mum…" Tonks grumbled, tugging at her blouse as she looked herself in her mirror. Andromeda slapped her hand away gently, arranging it.

"See? You look fine, don't fidget with that!" Andromeda snapped, as Tonks reached up to the neckline, "My daughter's all grown up now; I might actually consider giving you some of my clothes I wore when I was a teenager." She smiled.

Tonks groaned inwardly. It wasn't long before Andromeda kicked Tonks out of the house, telling her to come back to collect her robes later. Tonks guessed that wasn't the real reason; it was obvious her mother wanted to know how it went with Charlie…

Without the determination to go where she was headed but not wanting to splinch either, Tonks apparated with Andromeda watching.

She approached the burrow, knocking on the wooden door.

"Nymphadora!" Molly Weasley opened up, apparently probably announcing her arrival on purpose.

"Wotcher Mrs. Weasley, and it's Tonks," Tonks forced a smile.

"Please, call me Molly," Molly Weasley crammed herself to the side to allow Tonks in, "Charlie! Nymphadora is here!" She hollered.

Tonks smiled politely as she entered, wishing Mrs. Weasley wouldn't let the whole house know of her arrival.

She heard rumbling upstairs and hid her doubt and worry if this house can actually hold so many people without collapsing.

Tonks saw Charlie at the top of the stairs about 5 seconds after he heard the call of his mother. He looked the same as the last time she'd seen him which was quite sometime ago. Tonks would've thought he was still that dragon-crazy boy who spent his free time absorbed in dragon books but judging from his tousled hair, Tonks smirked, suspecting if Charlie had actually brought more than knowledge about dragons home.

"Hey, Tonksie!" Charlie ran down the last flight of stairs, "I'll admit, I'm surprised you didn't give my mother a punch for calling you that!" He laughed, looking absolutely exhilarated at her visit.

Suddenly, Tonks felt this wasn't such a bad idea. She grinned, "I've grown more civilized. And I can see you've grown too," Tonks smirked, eyeing his hair.

Charlie frowned before reaching up to pat down his hair, "Well, I wouldn't say that, considering I was just chasing my owl."

"Right," The smirk didn't fade but Tonks nodded patronizingly.

"Why don't you two go out in the garden? Or perhaps Charlie, you could show Nymphadora around our house?" Molly Weasley suggested.

"Mom, she'll really prefer 'Tonks'." Charlie replied before Tonks could. They exchanged a smile.

Molly nodded, smiling at them as they retreated out into the garden.

"Sorry about that anyway," Charlie spoke, breathing in the fresh air, "My mom's going about crazy with my bachelorhood."

Tonks laughed, "Funny, mine too. And why were you chasing your owl?"

"Trying to convince it to send a letter. Apparently she hates me now, after I actually brought her near the dragons."

"Why didn't you just use your family owl?"

"I didn't want to break your window." Charlie shrugged, "The Weasley's owl just can't seem to find safer landing but enough of the owls, how is your training coming along?"

"Great, I just finished my test today, bloody dementors the ministry sent," Tonks growled at the thought.

"I can see that," Charlie winced as he took in Tonks's cuts. He reached out, gingerly trailing the cuts, "These would heal though, with the right medication. I still have some in my bag that treats dragon cuts-"

"Mad-Eye fixed me up and since when were you such a worrywart?" Tonks grinned and Charlie returned it likewise. Silence engulfed them for a moment as they walked to the back of the house.

"It's really great that you visited, I missed our time together," Charlie smiled.

"Me too," Tonks replied, suddenly feeling awkward. Charlie was her best mate but their relationship started to be awkward when Charlie confessed his feelings towards her in their last year. It became slight bitter between them when Tonks told him she didn't feel the same way and that they should continue being best mate. However, being the nice guy Charlie was, he bounced back considerably quick to help her with her Newts and after that, he left for Romania without so much as a letter to inform her. At the back of her head, Tonks always felt that he was trying to avoid her but she couldn't be sure. She was almost hoping he'd soon find someone at Romania who would make his heart sing; apart from her.

"So…did you hear about the Chudley Cannons latest game?" Charlie asked. Instantly, the awkwardness faded as the ex-Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and Seeker touched on Tonks's favorite sport. She beamed, starting to ramble about what she'd heard and complaining about what she had missed.

Soon, the two of them went upstairs with Tonks commenting on pretty much everything Charlie had, especially the photo he'd taken with his colleagues back at Romania.

"This is a pretty one," Tonks teased, sitting with his ankles crossed on Charlie's bed while he took the floor.

Charlie scowled, snatching the photo away, "That's private."

Tonks raised her eyebrows, "Hey! If you're dating, gotta let your best mate know that!" She punched his shoulder lightly, "At least bring her home, and introduce us."

"There's no one," Charlie snapped, still scowling.

"Charlie!"

Both of them were interrupted as Molly Weasley's bellowed. Charlie sighed dramatically, humoring Tonks, before he left his place to open the door a crack.

"Yeah?" Charlie replied, yelling.

"Is Nymphadora staying for dinner?" Tonks rolled her eyes at the name.

Charlie turned to her, waiting for an answer. Tonks shrugged.

"Yeah, she is!" Charlie grinned, replying before closing the door, "My brothers are going to be happy to see you, they've all at least heard of you," He turned.

Tonks idly wondered when she was ever a subject of discussion with the Weasleys, "I thought most of them are at school?" Tonks replied distractedly as she flipped through one of Charlie's dragon book which she'd not seen.

"Yeah, the younger ones are still…" Charlie's voice trailed off and Tonks looked up, "I thought you could hang around for a while, they'll be back soon, and it's going to the end of the school year…"

"Don't worry Charlie; I won't be going anywhere anytime soon," Tonks teased, "Mad-Eye's got both eyes on me now."

Charlie smiled, nodding knowingly as he sat down with his back at the foot of his bed, "You've grown thin."

"S'that a good thing?" Tonks grinned, still looking at the magnificent pictures of dragons.

"Nope, but you've grown beautiful too," Charlie turned, looking at her openly like how he always does.

Tonks morphed away her blush, already getting pretty good at that since she left school. It had proven useful in many awkward situations, especially after she'd taken a bad fall on someone, "Thanks, you'd thought that would've helped me gotten a boyfriend already." She rambled but stopped midsentence, _too late…_she thought.

Charlie was evidently trying to swallow a lump in his throat as he looked out the small window from his room.

Tonks cleared her throat, "When are you setting off for Romania again?"

"About till mid-July, I want to stay a bit longer. Haven't talked to my brothers in a while, and…" He replied, glancing at her as his voice trailed off.

Tonks nodded, ignoring his paused as she continued, "This isn't really your room is it?" She asked, glancing around.

"No, Bill ain't here yet so I'm allowed to have his room," Charlie replied, smiling.

"Knew it wouldn't have been so tidy…" Tonks was promptly rewarded with a pillow to the face. She scowled and Charlie knew this wouldn't end without a fight. He grinned and stood just in time for Tonks to launch the pillow back at him. He growled before running up to stand on the bed to gain even ground. Soon the room was filled with yelps, screams and laughter as the two best friends went into combat with pillows, blankets and most of Charlie's books (to which his objected) as their only weapons.

Both of them failed to notice Molly Weasley sneak upstairs, and neither did they notice her opening a crack in the door until she cleared her throat.

They shuddered to a stop, turning to the door in surprise.

Tonks stopped, dropping the pillow in her hand and drew her wand. With her wand in hand, she realized it was only Molly. Charlie raised an eyebrow but sat on the bed, blushing furiously as his mother smiled, revealing neat row of teeth.

"Er, Mom! Didn't hear you knock…" Charlie started, not as successful in hiding his embarrassment.

"I did," Molly declared, "You were too busy to hear it," She broke into one of her grins again, "Dinner is ready." With that, she left, leaving two blushing adults too embarrassed to move.

"That was fun," Charlie gulped, glancing sideways at Tonks. Her bubble-gum hair was tousled, her blouse wrinkled and her skirt riding high on her thigh. He gulped; too busy staring to notice as she glared.

"Charlie Weasley!" Tonks shrieked as she lunged with the pillow, hitting Charlie satisfyingly in the face, muffling his shout of shock and –hopefully—pain.

To be continued…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll be getting the other one up ASAP and hopefully, in time as a Christmas present! Don't forget to leave a review!

Thanks a lot to the readers and especially the reviewers!

Blood Red Tulips: Thanks so much! Hope this chapter portrayed Tonks okay; I swerved away from the normal Tonks with Mad-Eye there.

Imreviewing: Thanks! I'm not sure about Lupin's appearance yet but he'll be in the story in no more than 2 chapters after this; I hope it isn't too unbearably long! About having Remus point of view chapter… that is in the plan but not anytime soon I'm afraid! Sorry! Hope you enjoy the fic nonetheless!

Nomad79: Thanks! Hope you're enjoying Harry Potter world!

Don't forget to drop me a review!


	4. Chapter 4:So much for constant vigilance

Chapter 4: So much for Constant Vigilance

1994 June

"The Department of Magical Law Enforcement of the Ministry of Magic hereby name Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, an official employee of the Auror Office…"

Tonks resisted the urge to fidget under the stares of so many people as Scrimgeour read out his lines, as he always did, to present new Aurors their Auror badge and to officially name them part of the Auror office, the elites of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

She'd receive the news of being accepted into being an Auror from Mad-Eye Moody, her mentor, himself. After lecturing her about the importance of constant vigilance as she'd neglected her anti-apparition charm around her flat and he'd apparated right in the middle of it, Mad-Eye delivered the news with the usual smirk, never a smile but Tonks's grin with enough for the both of them.

After receiving that news, she'd squealed, screamed and even tripped over in excitement as she threw her arms around her old mentor, much to his reluctance but Tonks figured he'd give in for her sake; after all, she had been known for the ability not just to morph but to radiate contagious happiness.

Her parents beamed in pride as they watched her receive her Auror Badge from Scrimgeour.

The better part of the morning for when she was due to accept her badge; Tonks'd spent it arguing with her mum over breakfast about what colour her hair should be. In the end, Tonks's stubborn attitude won over and she wore her hair blue, short and spiky to Andromeda's annoyance.

Tonks watched Scrimgeour grimaced at her hair as she entered the venue stated to her by Mad-Eye. Mad-Eye himself, who led her in, hardly took a second glance at her bright blue spiky hair. _See? All it takes is for one to get use to it!_ Tonks glanced at her mother to see if she noticed Mad-Eye's indifference but Andromeda was too busy wringing her fingers in excitement.

She was surprised to find out she was the only candidate getting the badge. Moody mumbled that the rest were either found not suitable or unable to make the expectations for the tests. Tonks didn't miss the hint of pride as he said this. He winked as he took a seat on the stands to watch.

Tonks took deliberate steps to Scrimgeour to receive her badge, determined not to trip for such an occasion. As she held the badge in her hand, there were claps in the stands but Tonks hadn't miss the looks of distaste of some of the senior Aurors as they watched. She turned away, facing where her parents sat, glowing. Mad-Eye nodded to her.

_Sirius…I made it…_Tonks smiled, wishing her favorite cousin could be here. If she'd closed her eyes there, she could've imagined him teasing her about it but Tonks didn't want to dwell in the past anymore, it was time for her to make a difference in the future.

"Tonks!"

Tonks spun around from chatting up her new colleague, Kingsley Shacklebolt, who was in-charged of Sirius's case. As the saying her dad told her before: Stay close to your friends but closer to your enemy. Tonks was already plotting to get closer to him, wanting to know as much about her cousin as she could.

Charlie Weasley broke into a sudden but firm embrace on her.

"I did it Charlie!" Tonks grinned.

"Yeah, Dad told me, that's why I'm here," Charlie beamed.

"Congratulations Nymphadora," Arthur approached.

"Tonks," Both Charlie and Tonks corrected at once, chuckling.

"And thanks," Tonks smiled.

"Maybe you could join us for dinner tonight-" Molly started but was abruptly interrupted.

"Sorry Molly," Mad-Eye spoke from behind her, "Not tonight, Nymphadora's occupied,"

Tonks scowled darkly at him about that name before growling in objection, "I am not!"

"You are now," Mad-Eye turned to her, snapping. Tonks snorted, turning away in indignation, not caring if that made her look childish.

She heard a few people, who overheard this bickering, chuckled but that didn't bother her.

"Nymphadora, that was rude of you." Andromeda approached, chiding her.

"Won't be the first time," Tonks muttered, making sure her mother couldn't hear that. She glanced over at Mad-Eye, surprised to see him smirking at her. Tilting her face towards her mentor and away from her mother, as Andromeda ranted of in a lecture again, she smiled.

Afterwards, to Tonks's surprise, Mad-Eye actually went back to her parents' house with her to talk. He rejected Andromeda's invitation to dinner, politely for the surly Alastor Moody and talked to Tonks in the privacy of her room which she occupied before.

"You're not going to train me, are you?" Tonks's hands twitched, ready to launch for her wand if it deemed necessary. Sometimes, she thought she received more wounds from Mad-eye than she ever will from any death eater.

"Listen," He grunted as he waved her wand to set up imperturbable charms around the room, "I won't be at the Auror Office much longer."

Tonks gaped, incredously, even though she hadn't forgot the warning Mad-Eye had given her after her test, "What? You got sacked?"

Moody didn't reply her.

"When?" She growled, thinking of the things she would do to Scrimgeour for this…

"I had it coming, lass." His magical eye surveyed the environment before he placed a large hand on her shoulder, "You, have a long road ahead of you."

"But-"

"I don't want to receive complaints about you, Nymphadora!" He snapped, using her first name. It efficiently shut off her objections but she glared at him, the roots of her blue spiky hair turning red, "No nonsense about avenging my sacking, or tripping over-"

"That's in my nature!" Tonks protested indignantly.

"Suppose it's time for some change," Mad-Eye muttered.

"Oh I'm changing, all the time," She grumbled, turning away and promptly morphing her blue spiky hair into long, red and wavy.

Behind her, she heard Mad-Eye growl in something akin to frustration but let her demonstrate her childish tantrum for a while.

"I will be away for some time," She heard her Mentor started up again, in the same gruff but less harsh manner.

"Where are you going?" Tonks let her curiosity win over her simmering anger.

"That's strictly confidential." Mad-Eye replied, much to her frustration, _and here we go again, he still doesn't trust me! _

Tonks resisted urge to jump around and stomp on the wooden flooring.

"In the meantime, I want no less than constant vigilance from you. There is nothing more dangerous than being an Auror."

She sighed, nodding her head as he lectured.

"And try to be smarter; don't let the ministry push you around."

Tonks raised an eyebrow, _that was new… _

"Mad-Eye," Tonks started, puzzled, "Really, where are you going?"

He glared at her, shutting her up as his magical eye disappeared in it's socket, probably looking behind him, "I better be going now,"

Tonks watched as he clonked nosily out of her room, releasing the charms he'd place on the door. She followed him downstairs, still puzzled but she understood enough.

Tonks stood quietly, waiting to send her old mentor out as her mum and dad said their thanks to him and farewells. She snickered, finding Mad-Eye's attempts to respond amusing.

She sent him to the door before he turned at the threshold, "Remember-"

"Constant Vigilance," Tonks finished in unison with him. He grunted in approval.

"Jeez, you want to be my granddad?" Tonks teased. Moody ignored it, patting her on her cheek with his free hand before clonking away from the house to apparate.

Well…time flies, so someday, she'll definitely see her old surly mentor. Tonks smiled at the thought.

~:~:~

1995 May

"Merlin's beard Tonks!" Dawlish cried out as she tripped over the small step at the lift entrance, dropping the pile of documents she was carrying and showering it all over Dawlish who was unfortunately, in the lift.

"Sorry…" Tonks muttered, already on her knees and gathering the documents. Dawlish had never hid his hate for her since the first day she started work. He felt she wasn't worthy of being an Auror, having only seen her demonstrate her clumsiness to him. Furthermore, Tonks had been told, he did have some objections with females even having a place in the Auror Office.

Dawlish picked up the documents at his feet and passed them to her as she gathered the rest by herself.

"Down?" He asked curtly to which Tonks gave a nod, "Heard you took the pain to help Shacklebolt with the selection this year of practically no recruits." Dawlish said.

"You heard right…" Tonks replied warily.

"The number of capable applicants is dwindling," Dawlish started casually. Tonks narrowed her eyes at him as the elevator gates open, "Haven't had a decent one since Tucker." Dawlish left without another word.

Tonks stepped out, seething in anger. Tucker was another Auror who qualified just a year ahead of her, the drumstrang student.

"Tonks,"

A fleeting greeting from Kingsley Shacklebolt as he entered the lift she vacated, distracted her from hexing Dawlish.

"Wotcher…" She muttered, well aware her hair would probably be deep red by now. Tonks trudged grudgingly to the floo network, idly entertained by the thought of Mad-Eye blasting Dawlish's eye out. But then again…_why couldn't I be doing that?_ She demanded as she flooed away.

The sight of her messy and disorganized flat didn't help her temper. She kicked aside some books as she stumbled to the table to put her documents.

_Looks like another sleepless night for me…_Tonks sighed as she slumped down into the chair and started on the top most.

About having spent a year in the Auror Office, Tonks was still the youngest one there as much as she hated to admit it; Dawlish was right. She'd surveyed the list of applicants and none of them had the requirements of being an Auror. So since there weren't any more new recruits, Tonks was the most 'inexperience' one. Translation: The more experienced Aurors would have the rights to dump all the paperwork on her and go outside to play with the big bad death eaters.

She was hoping some new poor recruits would enter to take over her job with paperwork but nope, her hopes were dashed after the night of being kind and helping Kingsley with his work of sorting out new applications.

She was ticked off that she'd even missed the action at the World Cup last year at about September (even though she'd just qualified then)

Tonks opened the first folder lazily. Her eyes widened as she read the name, cutting short her yawn. _Jensen Alex Dane_.

Tonks was aware that he'd dropped out of Auror training halfway about 2 years back but she never knew why. Moody had refused to entertain her curiosity, as always. Probably not wanting to give her the thought of going down the same road Dane apparently had took.

She included his name into the list under 'death eaters' and briefly sneaked a peak at his background information. He was about the same age as her, one year older. Tonks read that both his parents were deceased, leaving him with his little sister. Soon, she got bored and threw his file into a pile on the side of the table which she mentally marked as 'completed'

It didn't take long as she slumped forward and was fast asleep with her face on the table.

The next morning, at dawn, was chaos. The Auror Office was more chaotic than Tonks had ever seen. A flurry of blue and red dashed pass her as she attempted to walk, without tripping, to her desk.

"Shacklebolt!" She called as she caught sight of him, "What is going on here?" Kingsley turned to her. They had become fast friends over the year, since she qualified. Kingsley was a cheerful and reliable bloke. Her plans, to get close to the Auror in charge of getting her cousin thrown back into Azkaban, had gone awry only 2 months into that plan. Tonks found herself completely trusting Kingsley and being genuine friends with him. Through Kingsley, she was able to vaguely keep track of Sirius's whereabouts, true or false, she really didn't care.

"Last night, Potter portkeyed back from the third task of the tournament, announcing the return of you-know-who." Kingsley said quickly, "I have to get this to Scrimgeour," He told her before rushing off.

Tonks froze at her cubicle, unable to find the strength to move. She was aware of the ongoing tournament in Hogwarts and of course, she knew Harry Potter had been part of the participants despite the age limits. The Auror Office had been known to have sent a few Aurors to Hogwarts to ensure the smooth flowing of the tournament.

She was aware of one thing though. The return of you-know-who would only signify the return of Bellatrix Lestrange as his most loyal Death Eater. Her mind pulsed with anticipation.

_Don't be stupid…_She could practically hear Alastor Moody growling at her.

"Alright…I got a grip." Tonks muttered as she sat down, taking deep breaths to calm herself. She grabbed a file from the stack and continued where she had left it last night. However, she couldn't concentrate. All she could think of was the return of you-know-who, and Sirius, and her Aunt…"That's it, I can't just sit here." She told imaginary Mad-Eye Moody as she heard him tell her to stay put.

Tonks grabbed a thick coat and made sure her wand in its place before dashing out of her cubicle, weaving pass the stream of Aurors running up and down the place. She was less than graceful about her departure as she apparated to the platform of Hogwarts Express. She kept her wand in her hand as she walked the rest of the way up to the castle.

Last August, 2 months after she'd qualified as an Auror and after she'd receive no news from him at all, she was told by Kingsley during one of their friendly over-lunch talks that Mad-Eye Moody was now teaching at Hogwarts. She had, more than once, chuckled to herself at the thought of him lecturing First Years about constant vigilance. _That would be a fun thing to see…_Tonks mused as she trudged up the muddy trail to Hogwarts.

As she'd hope, a senior Auror which she did not recognise was there at the gate, on duty it seems. She idly wondered what they were doing when Harry Potter was facing you-know-who, as he claimed.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Auror Tonks," The Auror interrupted her, his deep voice thundering in the quiet dawn.

"Yeah, I'm paying Mad-" She paused, "Moody, a visit,"

"I'll need to see your badge, nonetheless," He eyed her wand, "y'understand, after…"

"Yeah, sure," Tonks bit her lips, fumbling with her coat as she searched for her Auror Badge with her only free hand. As she prayed she had it on her, her fingers found it, "Here." She flashed it at him, smiling.

He glanced at it for only a second before waving his wand and the smaller gate opened noiselessly on the hinge.

Tonks stepped into the familiar corridors before it occurred to her that she had no idea where Mad-Eye's office was. She was momentarily distracted by a Hufflepuff girl sitting by the sides, apparently crying.

She took a step forward and the small blond girl, probably a first year, looked up with red puffy eyes.

"Wotcher," Tonks forced her most gentle smile, most definitely not wanting to scare her.

The girl dipped her head and looked down, sniffing.

"Are y'alright?" Tonks cringed. She was not good at this. She wasn't even certain why she bothered.

"Yeah…" The girl sniffed.

"Why are you crying?" _Yes, that's tactful Tonks…_She berated herself.

"It's stupid really," The girl hurriedly wiped off her tears with her sleeves, "I'm just…Cedric was such a nice…" Her voice trailed off and she burst into a stream of tears.

_Cedric Diggory._ She knew him. He was in first year when Tonks was in her seventh. She vaguely remembered Diggory was good at Quidditch…and cute. Tonks had heard he was the one chosen by the Triwizard cup to represent Hogwarts. _So, there were casualties after all. _

"Nymphadora?"

Tonks rolled her eyes at the mention of her name as she turned around. Minerva McGonagall stood there, already dressed in her normal black robes.

"Professor-"

"Minerva," She cut in.

"Erm, yeah, ok. I'm here to see Mad-Eye?" Tonks probed, standing up, "If you could tell me where to find him?"

"He's in the hospital wing," Minerva replied as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

Tonks blinked, "What?" She blurted stupidly.

"You haven't heard?" Minerva frowned, "Well, maybe you can visit him; he'll tell you all you need to know." Tonks watched as the Head of Gryffindor shuffled pass her and placed a hand on the young Hufflepuff's shoulder.

"Alright…Thanks," Tonks smiled politely before dashing off. She could find the hospital wing with her eyes closed and in return, Madam Pomfrey was familiar enough with Tonks to have reserved stocks of potions for her.

As expected, Tonks visited the Hospital Wing often; apparently, trouble always found her and her clumsiness didn't help, even if she was the cause of that trouble.

She burst into Hospital Wing, already visualizing a heroic Mad-Eye who dashed in to protect everyone from the hoard of Death Eaters which caused him to land in the hospital wing.

"Tonks!" Madam Pomfrey didn't hide her surprise as she burst in. she was treating an unfamiliar veela whose bed was surrounded by an unnaturally tall women and another younger girl.

"Wotcher…" Tonks smiled sheepishly, it was weird not coming in here to have her falls tended to, "I'm here for Mad-Eye…"

Madam Pomfrey nodded, pointing to the bed at the farthest end, the curtains pulled in for privacy. Tonks stowed away her wand as the tall woman shot her a look of disapproval. Gingerly prying aside the curtains to slide in, Tonks braced herself for what she was about to see.

Her old mentor lay on the bed, asleep. His magical eye was out of its socket and whirling aimlessly at his side table in a cup of water. His graying hair looked disheveled around his battered and scarred face that was grumpy even as he slept. He had a thin blanket covering his lower half, underneath it was an empty space where one of legs was missing, as usual.

Tonks sighed noiselessly as she slumped down into the chair after she conjured one.

"What happened?" She murmured, "And you were one to tell me constant vigilance…" Tonks reached out, still muttering grudgingly.

She slipped her smaller and colder hand into his larger and surprisingly warm hand. Tonks took comfort that he was still alive, knowing without a doubt that whatever he been through was bad. After all, it surely takes more than a few spells to get Mad-Eye unconscious and in a hospital.

"What are you doing here?" She jumped as Mad-Eye grunted roughly although his voice sounded weak.

"I was visiting," She withdrew her hand, replying defensively.

"Supposed to be working…" He muttered.

"Well, I couldn't sit on my butt when I heard about what happened in Hogwarts," Tonks replied, a little guiltily, "What happened to you?"

"Blasted Barty Crouch…" Mad-Eye growled, "Junior." He added as Tonks's eyes widened, "Caught me off guard."

Tonks snorted and he shot her a look, "What'd he do?"

"Some dark magical tricks and he's a Mad-Eye Moody," Moody grunted grudgingly.

"I should've been there." Tonks muttered, forcing back the tears which are welling up.

"You were where you were supposed to be," Mad-Eye replied, struggling to sit up.

Tonks stood; hesitantly helping him set the pillows as he did. He eyed her with his good eye with uncomfortable intensity.

"And, you would not've been a match for him,"

"You underestimate me!" She objected, battling the urge to whip out her wand to show her old mentor some tricks of her own.

"You overestimate yourself." Moody reached out to his magical eye and popped it back into place, "Someday, it'll get you killed."

Tonks smiled, recognizing concern when she hear it from Moody, "You'll be there to make sure I grow up to take over you as the grumpy old Auror."

"Don't count on that." He muttered, his magical eye surveying the environment as his normal one looked down at his leg.

"What's wrong?" Tonks frowned, following his gaze.

"This missing leg," He brought out a large hand, patting overly hard on the stump, "is like your overconfidence. It'll get me killed."

"Then I'll watch your back," Tonks grinned cheekily.

"Don't count on that either." Mad-Eye growled, "Constant vigilance for yourself."

"You too," She told him, her voice coming out as a croak.

Moody watched her for a moment, both eyes trained on her face before he reached out to her. It was until he caught her tears and wiped them off with his thumb less than gently before she realized she was crying.

"Pull it together lass, you'd think after a year of being an Auror, you'll grow up." Mad-Eye told her, pulling back his hand as she brought up her own to wipe her tears.

"I _am_ tougher." She scowled weakly, pouting as she looked away.

"Auror robes looks good on you."

Tonks turned back to face him, her surprise chasing away her momentary anger. She blinked, looking down at the blue Auror robes which she wore. Smiling, she stood up, "I forgot, you haven't got a chance to see me in them…before you leave…" Her voice trailed off uncomfortably as she mentioned the last part but all the more, she twirled around once to show him full on how actually she did look. Unfortunately, her boots caught on the leg of the chair, causing her to stumble forward on the end of his bed.

"Alright, I don't need a fashion show." Moody grunted as she smiled sheepishly at him, pulling herself up to sit on the bed.

Tonks glanced angrily at the chair before vanishing it, "Aren't you going to ask me what's happening at the Auror Office?" She asked, waiting expectantly but Moody just turned away nonchalantly, pouring himself a glass of water. She scowled but started nonetheless, "Anyway, Dawlish, he…"

She ranted off about everyone in the Auror Office, from the highest up to the lowest, chatting freely about what she thought about them. As Tonks was moving on to complain about having to do paperwork instead of getting the action, Madam Pomfrey pushed aside the curtains.

"Alright Tonks, I think that's enough storytelling for today," Madam Pomfrey said and Tonks flushed, "Let someone else take their potion in peace." She waved her wand and brought a bottle and a glass.

She made the bottle pour a quarter cup of potion for Mad-Eye and gave him the cup. Tonks watched as Mad-Eye downed the lot in one gulp.

"Visiting time is over, dear." Madam Pomfrey took the cup back, turning to Tonks.

"I won't be any trouble-" Tonks started to object but stopped as she felt Mad-Eye pat her arm.

"Go, before Shacklebolt get his knickers in a knot looking for you." Mad-Eye growled.

Tonks grinned, happy he was paying enough attention to her story to know the friendship between Kingsley and her, "I'll come back to visit soon!" She turned and practically bounded to the door.

"That won't be necessary." He grunted as he lay back into bed grumpily, she turned just in time to see his head hit the pillow. Tonks shut the door to the Hospital Wing, wandering down the corridors of Hogwarts for a while before deciding it's time to leave. You-know-who is back and there'll be plenty of paperwork for her to do…_no time to feel nostalgic…_she sighed.

To be continued…

Happy Christmas to all my readers!

Don't forget to leave a review!

Thanks to those who read and review my last chapter:

Hope06: Hey Thanks! Glad it was in character, I was a little worried there would an OOC for Molly there!

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	5. Chapter 5: The Order of Phoenix

Chapter 5: The Order of Phoenix

Tonks yawned widely.

She staggered out of her flat, flicking her wand absently to lock the door. She stumbled downstairs to get to the alley she normally used for apparition.

"Bloody hell…" She cursed as her body shivered as the cold morning air chilled her tired bones. Tonks sniffed as her nose started to water. Being scared awake by Mad-Eye's patronus had definitely not been the best way to be woken and that didn't put her in the best mood either.

She glanced around to check if the alley is empty and if there were any muggles around before Tonks apparated with a 'crack', the sound piercing the quiet Saturday morning.

Tonks found herself all in one piece and standing just a distance from Mad-Eye's familiar old house. _Yup, the paint's still faded…_She sighed, already giving up on trying to convince the owner of this poor house to give it a slight makeover. Its gloomy faded paint affected her mood every time she came here. She idly morphed her hair purple, wearing it just touching her shoulder.

She raised her hand to knock on the door but it flung open quickly before her hand even touched the wood. Tonks registered Mad-Eye's presence at the door before opening her mouth to greet him but instead, a long yawn escaped her.

"Mor-morning Mad-Eye," Tonks rubbed the water from her eyes, ignoring Mad-Eye's magical eye as it swirled sickeningly in its socket, surveying her, "Don't worry, I'm the real deal. Constant Vigilance." She added as she slid pass him and with her eyes half closed, sat down on the couch.

"I guessed as much," He said as he closed the door and locked it, "No death eater could pull off that yawn."

Tonks scowled, "It's Saturday." She leaned back, sighing as her frame practically sank smugly into the soft couch, "Just what is it about?"

"You're aware of the return of Voldemort?" Mad-Eye started casually, missing her cringe as he turned to get her a cup of tea. Tact had never been Moody's strongest point but she'd admit; she did take after Mad-Eye in that aspect after spending 2 years in his influence.

Tonks didn't reply, assuming it was rhetorical. She'd already told him she knew when she visited him last week, "And I'm sure you heard of the Order of The Phoenix?" He continued.

"The one you mentioned to me, set up during the first war?" Tonks reached for a cup of steaming tea and sipped at it. She ignored his grunt of disapproval as she didn't check its content with her wand, "Yeah, I remember. Why?"

Then there was a loud crack. Both mentor and mentee jolted up, tensed with their wands drawn and pointed to the door.

"Are we expecting someone else?" Tonks turned to her mentor, puzzled.

He nodded.

"It's me, Albus Dumbledore-" Tonks gasped, her eyes bulging, "here to attend our arranged talk with Nymphadora."

Tonks gagged at her name but sat back down to sip at her tea, although her wand remained ready in her hand, while Mad-Eye approached the door and opened it.

"Ah, Nymphadora, good to see you again," The headmaster of Hogwarts walked into the house, dark green robes clinging onto his seemingly thinner body.

"Tonks," She hurriedly corrected, "and nice to see you too sir," Tonks forced a smile, unable to get over the uneasiness settling in her stomach with the presence of Albus Dumbledore. After all, he was not a man who came for trivial matters. She kept her eyes fixed on him as the headmaster found himself a seat and sank into the couch without hesitation. She mildly registered Mad-Eye, who made himself comfortable on a stiff stool at the table.

"I apologise to have called you here on such a beautiful Saturday morning," Dumbledore started and Tonks nodded, her face not revealing a tinge of the anger she actually felt, "But I call you here today to extend an invitation to you,"

Tonks frowned, "Don't mind me asking but what this is about?" Her mind wandered to any illegal cooperation that her formal headmaster might be involved in.

Dumbledore cleared his throat at the interruption but continued, "I'm sure you are aware of Voldemort's return, judging from the account which Minerva provided about your visit last week…"

She nodded, holding her tongue with whatever questions she had.

"In response to that, we're of course reviving the Order of Phoenix." Dumbledore paused to let it seep in. Tonks nodded, her throat constricting in anticipation for that very question, "So the question is, will you join us in-"

"Yes," Tonks answered, apparently too quickly. She glanced sideways to see the side of Mad-Eye's scarred face, his lips twitching in a smile _or was it a frown?_ Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in amusement behind his half-moon spectacles, "Of course I will join!"

"Enthusiasm has been your strong suits," Dumbledore smiled, the amusement never leaving his eyes. Tonks flushed, morphing it away quickly, "And I see your metamorphagus abilities have improved."

"Yes sir." She looked down, embarrassed, lacking of something better to say.

"I wouldn't expect anything less of you. Since you agreed to join the Order, you should be informed that we have a meeting this afternoon, Alastor will direct you to the location and I'm fairly sure," He paused, leaning forward an inch, "there'll be someone you can't wait to meet."

Tonks frowned in confusion as Dumbledore smiled again before straightening up, "Alright then, I better be going. Thank you for the tea Alastor," He turned to Mad-Eye, "This went better than I thought it would, and quicker." He looked towards her.

Tonks flushed again, not bothering to morph it aware but hoping to conceal it by sipping at her tea.

"Well, I'll see you both, at the meeting later. I'll be running late so Alastor, feel free to start the meeting without me," He smiled, walking to the door. She sat there as Mad-Eye stood to lock the door after Dumbledore. Then he turned on her.

"You think this is a game?" Mad-Eye's deafening bark startled her. It took all the balance and control, which Tonks have limited supply of, to make sure the steaming cup of tea didn't spill on her lap, "Joining the Order is not just a simple 'yes' or 'no'! There are consequences! It'll be dangerous-"

"Mad-Eye!" Tonks exclaimed, exasperated, "I know what I'm doing!"

"Of course," Moody's roar turned into a mutter as he clonked towards his couch, "Nymphadora is now experienced enough to know. Overestimating yourself again?" He demanded.

"I'm not! I just want to help!" Tonks jumped up, her face flushed with anger, "I'm sure you didn't equip me with skills just for me to work under the nose of the ministry did you?" Mad-Eye turned and their eyes met, both of them glaring at the other.

Tonks thought she saw something flash in his eye before he looked away, his magical eye spinning.

"You were being reckless." He told her, his tone less harsh and the volume lowered.

"I know what I'm doing." She scowled, sinking back into the couch, feeling the rare guilt seeping in at her insolence towards someone who had taught her so much these few years, "Don't you worry…" she muttered, looking down at her tea.

Tonks wasn't sure if he heard but he was quiet.

"So, who is in the Order?" Tonks asked a little more cheerily, attempting to get rid of the tense atmosphere. Mad-Eye seemed to be ignoring her. She glanced at him, looking away with a huff. The next few minutes was passed in awkward silence as Tonks stole glances at Mad-Eye, who was indifferent with her presence.

"Molly and Arthur Weasley, Bill Weasley, Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, Minerva, Snape," Mad-Eye spoke all of a sudden, breaking the ice, "those would be the one you know…"

"Snape?" Tonks frowned, still cautious.

Mad-Eye grunted, "Dumbledore announced that a few days ago." Tonks recognize the disapproval with that tone but didn't point that out.

Tonks nodded and remained silent; wary with her next course of action.

"What is it lass? Did the reality of the situation scare your voice away?" Mad-Eye said gruffly.

She scowled, "No, I just…" Tonks hesitated, "Don't want you go off screaming again…"

"You weren't quiet yourself." He pointed out, "you never were," Mad-Eye muttered. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Mad-Eye, really, I'll be fine." Tonks looked up from her tea, "I may be _inexperience_," Her face puckered at that word, "but the Order is the best place for me improve, and I know Constant vigilance."

"You'd better; another death in the Order isn't what we need at this point."

"Thanks for the faith," Tonks grinned cheekily, "So how often do we have these meetings? And what exactly do we do?"

"We'll be normally running patrols at where Death Eaters would most probably sighted or providing extra protection for Voldemort's targets-"

"There's just one, Harry Potter." Tonks blurted.

Mad-Eye growled at the interruption and when he was sure she was good again, he continued, "and at every meeting, we'll report findings. Normally, that's just for Snape."

"What does he do?" Tonks muttered grudgingly.

"He works as an inside spy for the Order," Mad-Eye replied, his tone thick with disapproval, "But you'll know more once you've attended the meeting this afternoon..." She didn't miss the slight hitch in his voice.

"What is it? Did I miss something?" Tonks probed.

"Once you're in the Order, there's no going back,"

"That…" Tonks paused, looking to the floor, "I could've guessed." She steeled her stare, feeling her natural inbuilt loyalty fuel her courage.

She spent the afternoon in Mad-Eye's old house, laying her hands on the interesting antiques he have, to which he disapproves but to no avail of stopping her. Tonks fired questions once in a while when it comes to her mind but for most of the time, her heart palpitated in anticipation for the meeting in the afternoon. Finally, she'd get to use her skills for something real and not sit around to get belittled by Senior Aurors.

When she got bored and still had too much energy, Tonks amused herself with disturbing her mentor with her quirks around a house as she made herself comfortable.

She laughed quietly at Moody's enthusiasm of getting to the meeting early, looking very much disturbed with Tonks's attempts at unsettling him.

"Sidelong?" Tonks requested hopefully, more to annoy him than having the need for it.

"You don't know where to apparate to anyway," He grumbled, holding out the crook of his arm to her. Tonks rolled her eyes and took his arm. Instantly, she felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed, except this time with another being.

In the split of a second, Tonks found herself in an alley. She rolled her eyes, _another alley…_she sighed inwardly. Despite knowing the necessity of it, she couldn't help but hate the fact that they—the wizards and witches—always have to hide like they were some criminal.

Tonks followed Mad-Eye out of the alley. Without a second glance, Mad-Eye took a left and approached a gate, pushing it open without bothering with the lock. She glanced from side to side nervously. Everyone on this street seemed to be keeping their heads down, above, the sun fail to shine through the heavy clouds.

She turned her attention back to the front as Mad-Eye paused in front of a tall black row of houses. Tonks frowned; somehow…this is all very familiar…

Tonks watched as Mad-Eye told her the location. It was an eye-opener but definitely not surprising when she saw an extra house materialize in between two houses. Number 12 Grimmauld Place… Of course they couldn't have left their headquarters unprotected. Using the Fidelius Charm seemed the best option to Tonks.

She trailed behind Moody as he stepped up the steps and entered without knocking. He led her in and the door creaked shut behind them.

The dark eerie corridor sent shivers running down her tired spine. Her eyes took in the details, still frowning in an attempt to recall why this place was familiar. Her fingers twitched nervously to her wand as her feet kept up with the hasty pace Mad-Eye was taking despite his 'disability'.

The dusty walls were decorated with beheaded house elves heads. Tonks looked away, pushing down the tea and the biscuits she took at Mad-Eye's house. They approached black door at the end of the corridor and Tonks couldn't help but glance down at her dressing.

She'd dressed half asleep this morning but she was quite proud of herself. Her black robes effectively did the job of keeping her warm. Underneath it, she wore a thick cotton maroon jacket unzipped, which she could've sworn she'd slept in but remembered changing out of. Her legs were kept warm with her denim black pants which her boots were pulled over on. Tonks took a glimpse of her hair, satisfied that it was still in its purple colour which she remembered morphing it into.

Tonks hurriedly looked up, her fingers still yearning for the comfortable feel of her wand, as Mad-Eye pushed open the door. He clonked into the room, not even pausing at the door to introduce her to the occupants of the room. Tonks shuffled after him, taking a short glimpse of the table and some chairs before she felt her toe hook on something.

She choked on a half cry as her body lurched forward. Having plenty of experience with this, Tonks pulled her other leg forward, steadying herself just in time before she fell. However, the thing which was responsible for her fall wasn't so lucky. The troll leg umbrella stand toppled over, taking it's occupants with it and fell into a heap on the floor with a loud crash.

Tonks cringed at the noise.

But what came after proved worse.

"FREAK-"

"Alright mother, give it a rest!"

Tonks caught a flurry of brown as someone dashed up the steps which she had not noticed were just to her left. She cringed, her ears hurting as the woman screeched off in a string of insults of mudbloods, half breeds and abominations…

Tonks didn't really need someone to tell her she was one. Her mother being a blood traitor by getting with a muggleborn and having her; _yup,_ it definitely made her an abomination but Tonks had never let that bother her so why should she start now?

"I'm sorry!" Tonks wailed over the screeching, her eyes looking towards the noise.

She heard some activities upstairs and soon, everything was quiet like as if she hadn't come along to disturb the peace.

Tonks morphed away her blush as she felt her blood rushing to her face in embarrassment. She got down to her knees and picked up the cursed umbrella stand.

"Sorry…" Tonks sniffed as she shuffled through the doorway which Mad-Eye had disappeared into. She refused to meet anyone's eye. Her eyes were trained so hard on the wood of the table; she didn't even know how many people were in the room.

"Holy Merlin, I swear, someday I'll get her down from there,"

The same voice, which came to her rescue from the screaming woman, said behind her. Tonks spun around, grateful to face one benefactor instead of facing a whole room of victims for her clumsiness.

"Thank-" She spun around, regaining some of her vigor as she got over her embarrassment for a moment. But she took a look at the face and got tongue-tied. Tonks could not know that face better. That handsome but now older face. His black hair was now tousled up beyond recognition of how she'd remembered it. There was also an addition of a beard and moustache. Tonks added that to her mental picture of him which was all she had of him, besides the wanted posters which she faced everyday at work.

"So, you're the newcomer whom Albus mentioned? The auror?" Tonks stared stupidly as he asked her. "If you're going to arrest me, I suggest you listen to their story of how I'm innocent?" He raised his hands up in a very patronizing manner, his eyes twinkling with that familiar amusement.

Tonks couldn't speak, she couldn't find her voice. She had so many things she wanted to tell him but now that he was here, she couldn't find it in her to speak.

"Moony, tell me if I've grown handsome," Tonks watched as he glanced behind her again, "Because she can't stop staring at me."

Tonks heard but barely acknowledge the snort from behind her.

"Sirius…" Tonks breathed, unable to say any more. But when she saw no form of recognition behind his grey eyes, her shoulders drooped and she dropped her gaze.

"Er…Mad-Eye? Your student? Did you teach her something you shouldn't? I think she's on crack…" His voice hitched before continuing, "Tonks?"

She looked up to find him scrutinizing her, his eyes widening.

"It is you!" Sirius's grey eyes lit up and Tonks got a glimpse of the same pair of eyes that had so much faith in a 4 year old when she said she wanted to be an Auror.

Tonks grinned, taking two steps forward and throwing her arms around his neck in a chokehold. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist and her feet left the ground for a moment.

"My baby cousin!" Sirius laughed.

Tonks couldn't help but felt a fat droplet of traitor tears escape her and seeped into Sirius's brown musty coat.

"Your hair!" She heard him bark a laugh again and Tonks didn't need to look to know it just changed color. After a while, when Tonks was sure she wasn't crying a river, she pulled back and Sirius held her at arms' length, his eyes narrowed as he took a good look at her, "You've grown!" He chuckled, sounding a little like he's got a screw knocked loose from exhilaration.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Apparently," was her reply, deadpan despite her excitement.

Sirius laughed, "and got _almost_ as good a sense of humor as your cousin."

She couldn't speak, at least not more than a few words. Tonks choked with a kaleidoscope of feelings she had.

"And stop changing your hair, showoff." Sirius muttered, his hands flying to touch her hair gently.

That was definitely something familiar, she could handle this, "I'm not doing it on purpose! It wouldn't listen to me," Tonks protested indignantly, only aware of how childish she sounded after it left her.

Sirius laughed again, "Alright, stay on pink, I like it." He grinned. Before Tonks could reply, she felt him turn her around to face the others in the room, which Tonks realized that it was a kitchen.

Sirius cleared his throat deliberately, "Hello? Attention here! Everyone, this is my baby cousin-"

"I'm not a baby," Tonks growled to which Sirius ignored and continued.

"Nymphadora-"

"Don't call me that!" She shrieked, ignoring the annoyed look Sirius threw her.

"Tonks," He finished, "I can't believe you haven't got over 'Nympha-" Tonks slapped a hand over his mouth before he can finish, her wand already in hand.

"Don't finish that," She warned. Sirius's eyes glanced over the tip of her wand before nodding solemnly. Tonks removed her hand to find his lips tightly sealed. To her surprise, she heard a few chuckles and some claps.

"Only an apprentice of Alastor Moody could effectively silence notorious Sirius Black," Tonks heard someone's velvet voice over the chuckles.

Sirius snorted towards that direction.

She turned to a man, dressed in a faded cotton cardigan and a neatly kept buttoned up shirt. Like Sirius, his eyes twinkled with amusement, leaving traces of that once lively teenager that he probably was. Tonks noticed the parallel scars which marred his face and his unkempt hair.

"Shut up Moony," Sirius growled warningly.

"Just keeping in real, Padfoot," The other man shrugged, smiling.

Sirius sighed at her, "That first name joke definitely worked better when you didn't know how to use a wand."

"Alright," Next, came an impatient voice. This was more familiar. Tonks turned to her left to see Molly Weasley pull her into a hug, "Tonks dear, how are you?" She sighed in silent relief that Molly finally got her name right before hugging back briefly.

"I'm very well Molly," Tonks smiled as she pulled back.

"Aren't we starting the meeting?" Mad-Eye grumbled, still on his feet. Tonks rolled her eyes as she slumped down into a seat beside Sirius, opposite 'Moony', which Tonks was fairly sure it was not his name.

"Dumbledore?" A witch, whom she do not recognise, spoke.

"Albus will be running late, we're told to start," Moody replied, still not taking a seat. If there was a cue, Tonks missed it. Then a short balding wizard stood up and started on his report. She listened, trying to catch up on whatever was happening. Within 5 minutes in the meeting, she already figured out that no one would bother to stop and explain anything to her so she tried to figure it out by herself.

Tonks sighed, knowing she only had herself to blame for sitting beside Sirius Black, who wouldn't stop harassing and teasing her. He was smiling most of the time, so Tonks could only conclude that he was as happy as she was to see him.

Opposite, 'Moony' seemed to realise the harassment she was suffering from, shooting her sympathetic looks. But Tonks was already used to fending for herself.

Dumbledore entered, with Severus Snape just a half a step behind the headmaster. Dumbledore gestured for Arthur, who was talking at that time, to continue as they took their seats.

Tonks noticed Snape throwing her furtive glances but she was concentrating too hard on trying to decipher the reports and defending herself from Sirius to bother about Snape.

By the end of the meeting, Tonks was sure and satisfied with the bruises which decorated Sirius's foot and shin thanks to her skillful offenses. She was pretty certain her leg wasn't doing too well but a few bruises didn't bother her after years of tripping and breaking bones. As the other members of the Order left; signifying the end of the meeting, Tonks turned to Sirius, who was discreetly nursing his shin. She winked at him with a small smile as he winced.

"Tonks, are you staying for lunch?" Molly asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure," Tonks grinned, "Thanks."

"So, what's going on Cuz?" Sirius spoke, keeping up the pretense that he hadn't been 'attacking' her during the entire meeting. He nudged her in the ribs to which Tonks quickly shifted to the vacant chair to make some space between them.

"Despite the idiot you are, I missed you," Tonks scowled.

Sirius barked a laugh, grinning at her, "me too. Azkaban isn't the coziest pit to spent 12 years of your life."

Tonks nodded empathetically, shuddering as she thought back to her encounter with the dementors, "How'd you get out?"

"Since you're finally of age…" Sirius winked at her, intentionally deliberating, "I'm an animagus." He spoke, with a twinkle of pride in his eyes.

He waited for her to be impressed but Tonks snorted, "Yeah, you're trying to impress a metamorphagus, mind you."

Across the table, 'Moony' laughed quietly, receiving a dirty finger gesture from Sirius.

"Whatever," Sirius shrugged.

"But I'll assume you aren't registered so I'll pretend not to have heard that," Tonks turned away. She realized that most of the occupants in the kitchen had cleared, save Mad-Eye Moody, Arthur Weasley and Molly. She was considerably close with almost everyone else here, except for 'Moony'.

She glanced towards 'Moony'. He was reading the daily prophets, which she didn't know where he got it from since she didn't see it on him when she entered. Then a disgusting squishing noise filled the kitchen. Tonks turned in time to see Mad-Eye dug out his magical eyeball and dunking it in a cup of drinking water. She stuck out her tongue in disgust towards Moody but with his magical eye taking a dive, he didn't seem to notice.

Arthur was talking softly to Molly as she chopped some vegetables by hand.

"Molly? Do you need some help?" Tonks called.

"If you could help me wash and peel the potatoes, dear?" Molly replied as Arthur took a seat opposite Mad-Eye and started a conversation about the ministry.

"No problem," Tonks stood up, stretched her legs and walked cautiously to the kitchen. She hoped Molly wouldn't mind if Tonks did it by hand, she never did get the spells for such housework right. She washed her hands at the sink and started on the potatoes, "Hadn't the kids return from school?" Tonks asked idly.

"Oh yes, they will be back next week," Molly replied with a smile as she waved her wand to start the fires at the stove.

"Oh, okay," Tonks looked back down to her potatoes. She wanted to ask if Charlie would be back from Romania anytime soon but decided not to, in case Molly got the wrong idea again. Instead, Tonks mentally prepared to send him a mail to ask.

"Bill is home already though," Molly spoke suddenly while Tonks finished peeling the potatoes. She didn't miss the enthusiasm in that statement.

"Yeah, I know, he wrote to me about that," Tonks replied warily.

"That's great, dear; it's good you two are keeping in touch." Molly smiled in a very motherly way.

"Molly, Bill and I-" Tonks stepped back, bringing around the potatoes she already washed and skinned.

Her elbow struck the stack of plates on the counter, sending them crashing for the floor and cutting her sentence short. Tonks could sense everyone looking at her some in horror, some in amusement, and one with a sigh after witnessing all her clumsiness during Auror training. Only Arthur rose from his seat to help.

"I'm so sorry Molly!" Tonks cried, placing the potatoes on the chopping board before kneeling down to clear the mess.

"Tonks dear," Molly held her elbow, "it's alright, leave it."

Arthur pulled out his wand, starting to repair the plates.

"I'm so sorry!" Tonks repeated again as Molly waved away her apology.

"Maybe you should wait at the table with Sirius," Molly told her with a strained smile and Tonks heard Sirius's guffaws from the table. She reluctantly retreated to the table, wanting to redeem herself but knowing she'll just cause more hassle.

"Still the clumsy baby cousin I see," Sirius grinned as she slumped into a random chair gloomily.

"I was trying to help." Tonks pouted, sticking her tongue out at Sirius.

"Sometimes, it's safer if you don't."

To everyone's surprise, Mad-Eye spoke without turning to her. Only Tonks caught the double meaning -from the subject this afternoon and the current situation at hand.

"Well, sometimes safety isn't a priority when the help is needed!" Tonks snapped. Mad-Eye ignored her and the kitchen was quiet, sensing the tension between their unspoken topic of argument. Everyone could sense the shift in subject…

"Anyway Cuz, you owe me more than 20 Galleons for those plates," Sirius teased.

"Arthur fixed them," Tonks replied.

"Not all of them could be fixed, and they're antiques y'know."

Tonks glared at him.

"Padfoot, give it a rest." 'Moony' sighed from behind the Daily prophet.

"Alright, anyone but my baby Cuz, Moony," Sirius growled, staring suspiciously towards the daily prophets which blocked him from Sirius's stare, "I know what you're thinking,"

"I'm not thinking anything," 'Moony' dropped the prophets into his lap and folded it up neatly.

"I got a lot to answer to Andy…" Sirius warned.

"It won't be necessary," Tonks watched as the two of them engaged in a staring competition, Sirius with the contemplative look while 'Moony' with the absolutely bored face.

"Alright," Sirius grunted impatiently, still eyeing his friend.

"Who are you?" Tonks blurted. Both men turned to her as if she'd grown a second head before 'Moony' chuckled.

"Forgive me, I haven't introduce myself," He smiled, "I met you before…about 3 years ago."

"I don't remember…" Tonks frowned.

"You have bad memory-" Sirius teased.

"You were delirious with that cracked skull," 'Moony' interrupted Sirius, who whistled as he heard that.

"You're Lupin?" Tonks's eyes widened as her brain screamed _werewolf_.

"Remus Lupin," Remus reached across the table for a handshake, smiling.

Tonks shuddered and Remus instantly withdrew his hand, glancing at Mad-Eye once before placing his hands on his lap.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" Remus spoke, his tone sounding like he was speaking to a 5 year old.

Tonks watched Remus Lupin with a measured expression as he nonchalantly turned his attention back to the folded up daily prophet on the table.

She was vaguely aware of the tensed atmosphere that enveloped the kitchen again as she sat there staring. Even Sirius was silent with her apparent lack of warming-up to Lupin after knowing his affliction.

"I'm sorry about the cardigan." She blurted, still staring.

Remus looked back up, frowning before the folds between his brows smoothed in realization. He smiled, "Nothing I can't fix."

"I'm sorry anyway?" Tonks persisted and he nodded dismissively.

"I'm missing a story here aren't I?" Sirius looked between Tonks and Remus, his eyes narrowed again.

"Nothing that you need to know," Tonks told him hurriedly, surely not wanting her cousin to find out about her roll down the stairs, suffering a crack skull and broken bones. She glanced across Remus to see him smiling slightly.

"Sirius-ly?" Sirius grinned.

Tonks groaned, "Not that joke again…"

"Yes, I'm glad you remembered it."

"How could I forget," Tonks rolled her eyes.

Later, Molly brought the lunch to the table before leaving with Arthur to the burrow.

Tonks dug into her food, moaning as Molly Weasley's cooking amazed her once again.

"Haven't got good food nowadays?" Sirius snickered.

"I can't cook to save my life." Tonks explained between bites.

"No wonder you're not any taller," Sirius grinned, instantly pelted with a loaf of bread.

To be continued…

Please review! ^^

Thanks to all my readers in the last chapter!  
Yreva13: Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it!

Hope06: Thanks! As much as I enjoy writing Moody, he is a nasty piece of work to get right!  
NymphadoraTonks-RemusLupin: Thanks so much!  
Auraxi: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!


	6. Chapter 6: Oh Merlin

Chapter 6: Oh Merlin

June 1995

It was like Déjà vu.

Tonks watched as the excited first years jumped off the Hogwarts Express, waving goodbye to the new friends they made and hugging their parents as they made their way home from a whole semester of school.

"Feeling nostalgic?" Bill Weasley teased.

"A little." Tonks admitted, glancing around. It was the time for Harry Potter and most of Weasley kids to return from Hogwarts. After the big affair of Harry claiming Voldemort's return, of course the Order would step up on their security protection for Harry. Thanks to Molly's enthusiasm at the last meeting, Tonks had found herself on an Order Protection mission, and coincidentally, with Bill.

Walking ahead, Arthur was guiding Molly through the herd of students while Tonks trailed behind with Bill. She was wearing her hair long and red, like the Weasleys today. It helped her fit in and did disguise her pretty well.

Of course Tonks missed having old' Bill there but she didn't feel comfortable with Molly trying to match make her with her two oldest sons. Bill seemed to sense Molly's intention and mercifully kept a safe distance. Tonks definitely didn't need another Charlie-case on her hand.

Tonks stood there awkwardly as the Weasley family embraced at the train station.

"You're Tonks, aren't you?" The only daughter in the Weasley family approached her.

Tonks smiled, instantly taking a liking to Ginny Weasley for not using her first name, "That's me. Wotcher Ginny!"

Ginny grinned and they engaged in a girl's conversation with Ginny asking Tonks questions about being an Auror and her past school life. It was no wonder Bill and Charlie was always complaining about the boys and talking about how nice it was to have Ginny as a sister.

Ginny was easy to be around.

Then Tonks caught sight of Harry. After weeks of seeing his face on the front page of the Daily Prophet, Tonks was pretty certain that was him.

The skinny boy was wearing jeans and a jacket over his faded t-shirt. He arranged his glasses higher on his nose as he trailed miserably behind a plump man, whom Tonks assumed was his uncle. Then Harry turned towards her direction, waving half-heartedly before rushing to catch up as his uncle barked at him.

Ginny was waving back.

"You know him?" Tonks asked, realizing how stupid a question it was, she rephrased, "I mean personally."

"Sure, he saved me last year from the basilisk." Ginny shrugged as she watched Harry and his uncle walk away.

Tonks nodded knowingly. Of course she'd heard of that. She was in Auror training at that time, Mad-Eye had mildly grumbled about it; Harry Potter braving a basilisk to save Ginny Weasley—the damsel in distress—it was a pretty dramatic story.

"So, you're part of the Order too?" Ginny asked.

Tonks was slightly taken aback at how casually a third year like Ginny put this, but nodded nonetheless.

"That's cool," She commented.

"You'll get your turn." Tonks grinned before guiding her to pick up the pace, "Come on, we got to get back _before sunset_." Ginny nodded, chuckling.

Tonks sighed dramatically, earning an arch brow and a glance from Remus Lupin.

He was perched across the table from her, reading, _of course…_

"What?" Tonks demanded when Lupin didn't drop his gaze back to his book.

"That's the twenty-eighth time you're sighing." Remus told her, a slight smile playing on his lips, "you're making _me _depressed." His pale blue eyes twinkling.

Tonks glowered, "Glad to know my boredom is feeding your amusement."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to go early." Remus said, closing his book and walking to Grimmauld Place's study to return it.

She grinned in triumph.

It was her turn to keep watch on Privet Drive, where Harry Potter resides with his uncle and aunt. Tonks had been mulling over it the whole week since the last meeting which announce the duties for keeping watch over Harry. Mad-Eye was supposed to be doing the duty with her, which Tonks thought would turn the keeping-watch mission into an engaging lesson about why constant vigilance is important. However, since Mad-Eye had more important things to do, Lupin was standing in to 'babysit' the newcomer.

Tonks subconsciously smiled, almost grinning to herself as she thought about her mentor.

"Something funny?" Remus Lupin appeared at the doorway of the kitchen, smiling.

Tonks got up, chuckling to herself, "Nah, it's nothing." She grinned as they walked down the corridor, leaving Grimmauld Place. As she closed the door behind them, "You're not actually close to Mad-Eye, are you?"

Their conversation met a slight paused as they both apparated, appearing in tunnel near privet drive.

"In what context?" Lupin asked, as they walked down the path.

"Like close friends, secrets and stuff."

"I doubt Mad-Eye does that with anyone." He said.

"Okay, so, I was just thinking about Mad-Eye…" Tonks rambled on and on as they walked to Privet Drive, effectively humoring Lupin into chuckles with Mad-Eye's paranoia and mannerism.

As they neared Privet Drive, Tonks pulled out the invisibility clock which she'd loan from Mad-Eye for this mission. She draped it over both of them as they walked to a distance from the house Harry Potter lived at and sat down in a secluded spot by a path near a tree. They watched

"Super." Tonks muttered after a while.

"Huh?"

"We're going to have to stay under this invisibility clock, quiet for about till dinner aren't we?"

Lupin nodded nonchalantly, "We could whisper if you're absolutely certain you won't survive."

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Have you actually spoken to Harry?"

"I taught him for a year at Hogwarts."

"Wow…" Tonks muttered, when she thought Lupin couldn't be any more boring, "_Professor _Lupin." She whistled, "What happened to that?"

"It wasn't a suitable career, for someone like me," Tonks watched him out the corner of her eye; he was looking out into a distance.

"Have you found another one?" Tonks asked casually as she picked at the grass.

"Not really," Lupin said softly. If she'd not been listening, she'd have missed that, "Harry,"

Tonks looked up and true enough, across them, the same boy she'd seen at the train station came out of the house.

"He looks miserable." Tonks murmured as she squinted.

"Must be his relatives again," Beside her, he sighed. Tonks couldn't think up a reply as she watched Harry Potter. He picked distractedly at the well trimmed bush growing out in the front porch before walking up the lane and away from the house.

"Come on," Tonks murmured, standing up and huddled underneath the cloak, they followed Harry till he was at the park.

It was surely a feat for Tonks to be walking huddled under a clock with another person and watch for his feet. Her eyes kept watch on the ground while they walked, trusting Lupin to make sure they don't lose Harry or they would have hell to pay when they get back to Grimmauld Place.

Tonks was just stepping over a ledge in the uneven concrete when she felt Lupin's hand on her elbow. She looked up to see Harry sitting on the end of the merry-go-round, brooding. She followed his partner's lead as he maneuvered her over to the side under a tree for them to sit at.

Both of them watched Harry closely, not daring to speak in case Harry hears them from this proximity. _But honestly, who cares if Harry catches them?_ Judging from what Sirius was ranting about, he would be more elated than anything to see them.

"Lupin," Tonks murmured, pointing out a bunch of burly boys approaching him. She turned to see his eyebrows raised.

"Call me Remus and that's his cousin."

Tonks nodded, turning to watch as the 'cousin' teased Harry, laughing along with the other boys. Harry merely glared till they left him alone. That definitely got Tonks wondering, _why didn't he stand up for-_

"He's so unlike his father…" Remus muttered beside her. Tonks turned to find him curled up by her side, keeping his legs under the clock.

"You knew his father?"

"Yes."

Tonks rolled her eyes, not receiving anymore elaborations on that topic. Remus Lupin somehow unsettled her a little; not because he was a werewolf. It was the way he carried himself that made her self-conscious. He was always so polite and refine when he moved or speak, Tonks felt she fell short in whatever he was good at. She felt like she couldn't measure up…

"I'm sorry," He spoke, his voice merely a whisper and next thing she knew, his arm wasn't pressed against hers anymore. Tonks turned to see him scooting further from her.

"For what?" Tonks asked.

"I'm making you uncomfortable," he pointed out and she looked up to see his face. His eyes were solemn and his lips were curved into a forced smile. Something in her expression must have changed because then, he continued, "It's perfectly normal."

"I'm not afraid of you." Tonks blurted, looking him straight in the eyes. And _oh Merlin_, didn't he have the most sincere and beautiful eyes ever. Light seemed to find his pale blue eyes and glinted off them in the most beautiful way. As he spoke, they were guarded so they did not reveal anything Remus didn't want to reveal but then he chuckled in response to her statement. The guardedness was gone, replace with amusement.

"I doubt you'd be," The amusement didn't leave his eyes, "but it's not normal."

"I was never born normal." Tonks replied simply, tearing her gaze away from his eyes and tugged a lock of her bubble-gum pink colored hair.

"In a good way,"

Tonks snorted, "Right..."

"You are special," Lupin persisted, "You don't see yourself very well,"

Tonks turned, rolling her eyes, "Maybe because I'm always changing?" She suggested and as if to prove her point, she morphed her features away to be replaced with someone beautiful she'd met at the Leaky Cauldron the other day. Her pink hair grew out to dark and curly. Tonks could feel her face rearranging itself. Her irises turning blue.

When she was done, she turned to look at Lupin. He looked amused but his eyes were calculative, as if thinking hard about something. His lips, however, were sealed shut.

Tonks smiled, pretty certain she'd dazzled him with this, "How is it, Professor?" She teased.

To her dismay, Lupin seemed to have a very good control over himself. His face never revealed anything he didn't want to. He contemplated for a while before smiling.

"What?" Tonks demanded when he didn't say anything.

Lupin only shook his head, his smile gone.

"What? Spit it out!" She said in a low tone, nudging him viciously but he seemed to have seen that coming, reaching out with his hand to block that.

Looking straight at her with earnest eyes, Lupin spoke, "I think you should never morph yourself again,"

Scowling, Tonks tugged her elbow from his grip and morphed back with a huff. She was pretty sure her hair morphed itself wrongly by going red instead of pink.

"Is this your real self?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious. Tonks was tempted to give in but she turned away, pretending to have not heard his question.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes," she replied tersely, refusing to look at him, "I am,"

"I think you misunderstood me-"

_Stupid werewolf… _"Let's go," she interrupted, still hurt from such a blunt insult from, of all people, the polite and refine Remus Lupin! Building the patience to listen someone out was never her strong suits. It seemed hypocritical to her; trying to explain your way out after throwing an insult so casually.

That put a stop to whatever he wanted to say when he saw Harry had started walking back. They got up awkwardly before trailing after him.

"I'll ask Dumbledore for a second one if we get the next watch." Remus mumbled beside her. As they walked along the dirt road, their shoulders constantly bumped together and Tonks was obviously struggling to keep her balance from the constant and uncomfortable colliding with a stronger person.

Forgetting her anger, Tonks started "I-" She was cut short as she tripped over her other foot while stepping forward awkward to avoid his. Tonks felt Remus grip her upper arm firmly with one hand and the other supporting the small of her back as he steadied her back up, "Thanks," Tonks sighed, looking up at Remus's poker face, "you must be wondering if I'm really functioning on two legs."

"I already know you do," Remus stated, releasing her arm, "It's your coordination; one of them is constantly tripping over the other."

Tonks rolled her eyes, "well, thanks," She retorted hotly.

"I didn't mean to offend you," He said as they continued walking, "Do you mind? It would be easier." Tonks glanced at him to see his arm raised slightly behind her. She shook her head and felt his arm rounded her back and his hand rested on her waist. Tonks turned to hide her blush, frantically morphing it away.

They walked in an awkward silence but it was easier without their constant bumping of shoulders.

Tonks couldn't help but feel self conscious again. She could the heat from his arm practically scorching her through her robe and onto her skin. But it was probably even comfortable to be in this position if the weather isn't already quite warm.

Remus Lupin didn't seem to find the need to speak on their walk back and Tonks was too caught up in her thoughts to start a conversation. As Harry entered the house glumly, they settled down on the same spot. Remus removed his arm just as they settled down.

"How long more?" Tonks asked, glancing up at the sun.

"About 10 more minutes. If Mundungus keep to the timing," He replied, glancing at his watch.

Tonks snorted. Mundungus Fletcher. She could never understand why Dumbledore had decided to leave Harry's night protection to him; the thief and the drunk. He was known for his abandonment of mission halfway for more pressing matters such as filling his stomach of more beer.

However, this time, Tonks was proven wrong. She heard a soft crack disturb the quiet neighborhood and Mundungus stepped out, looking around.

They got to their feet and walked towards Mundungus. Remus tugged on Dung's sleeve quietly as they walked into the alley Mundungus had apparated into. Tonks yanked the invisibility clock off her and practically jumped out, breathing in the comparatively cooler summer air.

They handed the cloak to Mundungus.

"Don't you ditch on Harry, Dung." Tonks warned before they prepared to apparate.

"Scouts' honor, Nymphadora," Mundungus shot her a toothy grin, raising his hand up in a mock promise.

Tonks snorted, "Don't call me Nymphadora," She snapped before apparating away, hearing a slight chuckle from her side where Remus stood but she couldn't be sure.

They appeared in another alley, the one to go to Grimmauld Place. Keeping their heads down, both of them walked briskly into the old house.

"Shut up," Her cousin's voice echoed down the hallway.

Tonks could hear Sirius's voice the moment they enter the house. She abandoned her coat at the entrance on the rack. She picked up her pace, curious. There wasn't a meeting tonight but there is a promise from Molly to come to cook so Tonks was almost certain there'll be a crowd for tonight. She just wondered who would be so kind as to bother to annoy her cousin for her.

Watching for the troll leg umbrella stand, Tonks carefully maneuvered away from it to enter the kitchen safely.

"Welcome home baby Cuz!" Sirius stretched out his arms to their full length towards her.

Tonks muttered under her breath unintelligently, already sniffing at the aroma of Molly's cooking from the kitchen.

Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones and Kingsley were there at the table. Tonks's eyes followed on opposite Kingsley. There was Bill Weasley, Fred and George Weasley, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley who was talking to another bushy-haired girl Tonks didn't recognise and Charlie-

"Charlie!" Tonks blurted in surprise.

"Hey, Tonksie," Charlie grinned, getting up, "Surprise."

She stood there, shell shocked as he embraced her firmly. Through her surprise, Tonks managed to lift her hands to rest them on his back as he got her in a chokehold.

"Wow, let her breathe Charlie," Bill chuckled from across the kitchen.

Charlie buried his face into her hair and kissed her on the cheek before letting her go.

Tonks blushed, morphing it away promptly, "Hey, what brought you back?"

"Excuse me," Remus muttered from behind her before wedging himself between her and the doorframe to get into the kitchen. Tonks watched as he got a seat beside Sirius.

"Well, Ron and Ginny is back, I had to come back at least once a year thanks to mum, so might as well make it so I could see them," Charlie grinned.

"So that he could see you," Fred and George said in unison, smirking as Charlie shot them a meaningful look.

Tonks's blush deepened.

"Hi Tonks!" Ginny smiled, cutting into her brothers' tease.

"Wotcher Ginny," Tonks greeted, grateful for an excuse to not form a reaction to the twins.

She pulled a seat out for herself, two seats away from Sirius, and sat in it.

"Sorry, feel free to ignore the twins." Charlie murmured, leaning towards her and she sat down.

"It's fine," Tonks grinned, "I'm no stranger to pranks."

"Yeah, I remember," Charlie chuckled.

Tonks let that slide, turning her attention towards Ginny, who was apparently calling to her over the noise.

She got out of her seat and joined Ginny when the girl said she was reserving a seat for her.

Over dinner, Tonks talked and laughed about school jokes, at Harry's and Ron's expense which Hermione Granger, the girl Ginny was talking to earlier, shared.

She didn't miss that Charlie didn't look away from them more than necessary.

..::..

"Molly, do you need any help?" Tonks called as the older woman started clearing away the dishes while people shuffled out the door after thanking her for the meal.

"No dear, I think it's fine. I can manage." Molly replied, flustered.

Tonks glared at Sirius in annoyance as he chuckled. Inevitably, she met Charlie's eye. She hurriedly smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Well, I'll get going then. I have some papers to get done by Monday," Tonks stood, picking up some old excuse to be leaving. She was already berating herself for how stupid she sounded. It was Friday night…but she'd rather rot at home than faced with the crush Charlie was apparently still having on her.

She didn't miss Charlie straightening up anxiously as she moved for the door.

"Bye Tonks!" Ginny and Hermione called after her. Apparently, the Weasleys would be staying at Grimmauld place for the moment so that Molly could cook for everyone and not rush home late at night.

"Bye," Tonks smiled, already slipping out the door.

"See ya later Cuz!" Sirius waved with enthusiasm, determined to at least annoy her this one time for today.

Tonks rolled her eyes, waving briefly before dashing for the door. Just as she left Grimmauld place and started for the alley…

"Hey! Tonksie! Slow down," Charlie called behind her.

She sighed, slowing down. Tonks wanted to have a nice talk with Charlie but she didn't want to end up having to talking about their relationship together; that will never end well and she still wanted to be friends with Charlie.

"Wotcher!" Tonks exclaimed with false enthusiasm as he stood by her side.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Charlie asked, beaming at her.

"Erm, papers," She reminded him as well as herself about her old excuse.

He nodded knowingly.

"What are you doing here? I thought you're staying at Grimmauld place for a while?" Tonks asked.

"Er…" Charlie hesitated, his eyes flickering between the pavement and her, "I needed to drop by home to get something,"

"Oh, ok," Tonks nodded, continue to walk towards the alley for apparition.

"Wait," She felt his hand touch her arm gently, stopping her, "No, I lied okay? I…I needed to talk to you."

Tonks closed her eyes, facing away from him as she cursed the upcoming talk. It couldn't be anything pleasant. She turned, already arranging her face to something she wished looked like curiosity.

"C-can we walk?" Charlie asked softly. Tonks nodded, feeling bad all of a sudden when faced with his tortured expression.

She made it to the pavement and started walking. Tonks had never walked home from Grimmauld place before, she wished it was nearer.

"Tonks, I…" Charlie let out a long sigh, "I love you."

His voice was thick with emotion but Tonks forced her legs to keep walking as she smiled at him warmly, "I love you too mate," She hoped her tone screamed friendship.

"No, Tonks, I mean, not in that way," Charlie struggled to keep his legs moving and form coherency with his mouth, "I can't stop thinking about you. I make mistakes, at work. I just had to come back to see you."

"What mistakes?" Tonks asked, as if that is relevant to anything. She could feel the roll of his eyes at her but she struggled not to look at him.

"That's not the problem. It's just-" He cut off abruptly.

"Charlie, don't you love your dragons?" Tonks demanded, finding her escape.

"Yes…" Charlie's voice trailed off and Tonks's heart took a leap in silent triumph. They walked silently to her house. Then he spoke after they made it about a reasonable distance, "I'm just not sure if I love dragons more than I love you anymore. Like I thought I do."

Tonks was never a tactful person. Her words of rejection had all psychologically damaged her crushes back in Hogwarts.

"I miss you," Charlie said, slipping his hand into hers. Tonks jumped, slipping her hand away before he could close his fingers around hers.

"Weasley," he winced as she used his last name, "I really just want to concentrate on my work right now."

"I know, and you've got the order, so there's a lot on your mind," Charlie rambled on almost frantically, "but…"

Tonks gulped.

"I just want you to let me love you, that's all I ask from you," Charlie's voice reduced to a whisper, "I'd have a reason to stay."

Tonks knew this had been Molly's wish all along, to make Charlie stay because of someone he loved. Before Tonks could formulate a response, her flat loomed ahead.

"Tonks?" Charlie murmured, his hand taking hers so suddenly that she didn't have time to pull away, "Give it a chance."

She sighed, seeing no threat in this offer. Tonks nodded eventually, "Alright, I'll give it _try_."

Charlie's face brightened up into an exhilarated smile. She'd never dreamt in her entire life she could make someone so happy. He pulled her into a hug and hesitantly, Tonks rested her head on his shoulder. When he let her go, Charlie still had that smile on.

"This is my flat." Tonks told him, realizing he didn't know.

"Oh, alright." Charlie smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow? At Grimmauld Place."

"Yeah, sure." Tonks forced a smile.

"Goodnight," He leaned in and Tonks forced herself to stand still. She felt Charlie's lips on her cheek, "I'll see you then." Tonks could feel his smile on her skin before he pulled away.

"Goodnight," Tonks's voice stuttered and Charlie grinned. She made her way up to her flat, throwing a tentative smile back at him as she disappeared behind the door.

As Tonks maneuvered into her messy flat, her head was spinning. She didn't know how to tell Charlie without letting him down so she gave him an empty promise, some hope. She had no idea if that was a good or a bad thing.

Then her doorbell rang, causing her to jump out of her skin.

"Charlie?" She muttered before dragging herself to the door. Tonks yanked the door open, surprised, "Lupin." She blinked.

_Is this a sick joke?_

"Remus," he corrected, his lips in a slight smile.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, a little too quickly. _Merlin…His eyes are doing that magical thing again with the light…_She groaned, _how'd he do that?_ She demanded inwardly.

"You left your coat at Grimmauld place?" Lupin held up her coat in his hand.

"Oh," Tonks reached out and took it, standing there awkwardly.

"Thanks?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Erm, yeah, thanks."

Chuckling, he replied, "You're welcome, Nymphadora."

That did the trick to snap her out of admiring his eyes, "Don't call me that!" Tonks snapped frantically.

He laughed quietly, nodding, "Have a good night."

Tonks shut the door before he can even turn around, her heart palpating furiously in her chest.

"Damn Remus Lupin…" she muttered, tossing her coat on the already crammed couch. Tonks couldn't understand why can't he just call her Tonks? "Fine, two can play at that game." She sat down angrily by the window, already telling herself to never use his first name, till he gave in.

However, her heart skipped a beat as she spotted him walking into the streets, just emerging from her flat. Tonks growled as her mind flashed with the smile his eyes seemed to be capable of conveying. She angrily abandoned the window and headed for the bathe.

As she crawled into bed, Tonks started to arrange her thoughts.

Charlie Weasley is her friend and most definitely didn't make her heart sing, not in that way. On the other hand, this werewolf, Remus Lupin made her nervous, and angry.

Tonks sighed in frustration, burying her head in her pillows; she was most definitely not going to touch the stack of neglected documents tonight_. Scrimgeour can have my arse for all I care…_

To be continued…

A/N: Well, there you have it folks! Hope you liked it! Happy New Year to all my readers! Apologies about the title, I'm lacking a better title for this chapter! I'm open to any suggestions for the fun of it! ^^

_Don't forget to leave a review for this chapter!_

Many thanks to the reviewers of last chapter:

B0xing the stars: Thanks so much!

Divinia Serit: Thanks! Glad you loved the meeting with Sirius and the interactions! Hope these interactions with Remus didn't disappoint!

Teddy R. Lupin: Thanks so much! About what happened between Remus and Tonks…if you're meaning the conversation between them about Tonks's cracked skull. That one is shown at the earlier chapter where Tonks had an accident on training with Mad-Eye.

Jokegirl: Thanks! It'll be AU starting from next chapter and this chapter did have a little AU with Charlie.

Yreva13: Thanks so much!

Hope06: Thank you! Yes, some characters tend to be more intriguing and harder to get right!


	7. Chapter 7: Encounter

Chapter 7: Encounter

Tonks frantically parried off a spell, rushing to duck as a jet of green light followed after.

She couldn't see Mad-Eye clearly within all the chaos. She hoped he was alright, just as she hoped Dedalus and Mundungus were, though the latter was more of attempting to escape than fighting.

"Stupefy!" Tonks shouted, effectively stunning a death eater in the back before he could catch Dedalus off guard with a killing curse.

They were not very badly outnumbered but the 5 death eaters weren't pushovers. Before Tonks know it, her body burned up with agony. Her knees buckled. She doubled over, her bones feeling like they were dug into with hot coal. Tonks was more than familiar with this.

_The cruciatus curse_.

To her dismay despite the pain, Tonks heard herself let loose a cry of agony as she collapsed to the ground after a struggle to remain standing.

Then it stopped all of a sudden, leaving her on the ground, grunting with the effort to get up. Tonks turned to see the body of a Death Eater at Mad-Eye's feet, his normal eye surveying her while his magical one kept in the fight, firing a spell at another Death eater behind her.

Her eyes widened, spotting a figure rise behind him. That definitely gave her the determination for her to get to her feet, "Expelliarmus!" Tonks cried, the first spell which came to her mind, as the Death Eater raised his wand.

The wand flew out of his hand, following a cry of shock. Tonks jerked forward, catching it before striking the unarmed death eater with a non-verbal curse. The body was thrown back and striking the concrete wall before falling limply to the ground.

She glanced around. Tonks realized Dedalus was on the floor and Mundungus was reduced to a corner by one death eater. Mad-Eye was facing two death eaters singlehandedly.

"Stupefy!" Tonks cried, almost striking the smaller Death Eater but her spell was parried away just in time. She fired another curse quickly, her curse meeting the death eater's in mid air. It exploded, blinding her for a moment. Then she heard a sharp, high pitched, and chilling cackling coming from the Death Eater she was facing.

Tonks shuddered. She had most definitely heard that before but the last time she did, it was during her Azkaban visit. Bellatrix Lestrange. Tonks was aware of her escape of course, her wanted poster was plastered all over the Auror Office.

_Constant vigilance,_ a gruff voice echoed in her head and she sidestepped in time as a jet of green grazed pass her, exploding into the wall behind her.

Tonks fired another spell but hers always seemed weaker than her opponent's. And spells was coming her way so fast that she could only find time in between to a few weak ones.

This was similar to Mad-Eye's training but the spells fired at her were definitely not as deadly. She parried away another spell with a shield charm, firing her own. She was no match for her opponent, Tonks could only wish Mad-Eye would incapacitate his enemy and come to help her.

Then her attention was diverted. From the corner of her eye, she saw her old mentor sink to the ground, his opponent already out cold. _No…_She barely had time to glance back before she heard a neat slice of the wind behind her and her shoulder burned in agony.

Tonks didn't know if she'd cried out but she sank to the concrete, falling on her front. She heard the same loud chilling cackle but she was too busy groveling on the ground, struggling to get up despite the pain. It wasn't as bad as crucio but her shoulder felt like it had been amputated. She struggled, only glad that her crippled and injured hand was not her wand handling hand.

Tonks lifted her head, just time to see black smoke materialize in front of her eyes, beside the death eater she was dueling. Tonks's eyes were glued to the death eater's face now that she didn't have the mask on.

She'd seen that face…in her mother's family album. Bellatrix Lestrange, nee Black.

A pale figure materialize beside Bellatrix. Tonks didn't miss the gleam in her eyes as her aunt laid eyes on the pale person.

The pale person was bald, his nose barely formed but his eyes were red, narrowed and critical. His lips so thin that Tonks could barely see them. Serpentine features…

"My lord." Tonks watched as Bellatrix bent at the waist, bowing slightly to the figure before her. _Voldemort_.

Tonks needed to think. She'd consider the possibility that she'll be dead soon but she also thought of the possibility of her calling someone else for help. Maybe if she could send a patronus-

Her thoughts were interrupted as Voldemort spoke, "Ah, Old Alastor Moody, fallen at last." His high hoarse voice made Tonks sick but as Voldemort took a step towards Moody's body, Tonks shot to her feet quickly, not feeling her injured shoulder.

"No!" She cried out instinctually, regretting it instantly as both of them turned to her.

Tonks set her eyes on Bellatrix, glaring. She looked back at Tonks with a bloodlust so potent Tonks could feel it radiating off her.

"_Crucio_,"

Tonks fell to the floor again, _Why couldn't they just get it over with? _

Her body curled up with the pain like an insect. The pain dug right into her bones, threatening to tear out her entrails. Tonks threw her head back in pain, her eyes seeing Voldemort standing over Mad-Eye, a contemplative look in his eyes as he completely disregard her presence.

She was an auror, she was accustomed to the curse but never had she really tasted what it felt like. _It didn't matter,_ Tonks realised, her eyes watering from the effort to stop screaming. _Everyone is dead, Mad-Eye is dead, there's no one-_

Then as Voldemort raised his wand upon her mentor's body, it occurred to her, _he's not dead! _But he's going to be, not if she stopped it.

"Stop-" Tonks felt the adrenaline shove aside the pain as she got up from the concrete but the searing pain hardly allowed her to straighten her knee. She fell into a crumpled undignified heap again.

"Bellatrix,"

Tonks barely acknowledged the sickly gentle voice as the pain stopped, leaving her body shuddering from the effect.

"Who do we have here?"

She remained curled up on the floor, her wand clutched in her hand. Only now, when the pain left her slowly, Tonks felt fear. But _what the heck…_Tonks summoned her strength and tilted her head to glare up at them.

Tonks heard Bellatrix laugh, a shrill and annoying sound, "Nymphadora, is it?" She stepped forward but with some unseen gesture, she stopped in her tracks as Voldemort himself approached and loomed over her.

"Your niece?" His calculating eyes looked her full in the face.

"She's no aunt of mine," Tonks hissed through gritted teeth but before she know it, her body was lifted with a flick of Bellatrix's wand and thrown ruthlessly into the concrete wall. Tonks sank to the floor again, no longer feeling the strength in her limbs. She was tired, her limbs felt hurt and broken.

"You're no better than that blood traitor mother you have! How dare you speak to-" Bellatrix Lestrange seethed but was silence as Voldemort raised his wand hand.

"Your bravery, Nymphadora, and loyalty is impressive," Voldemort approached her, his wand slightly lowered, "Even facing death…" He stopped in front of her, raising his thin and cold fingers to touch her cheek. She hissed, flinching away, "Such a waste…" He raised his wand and Tonks turned to face him full in the face; _no,_ she decided, _I would not die groveling…_

Everything seemed to have slowed. For one, she knew she was going to die and maybe even looked forward to it, but deep down, she hoped someone would come to their rescue. Saving her would be too late, but maybe, for her old mentor, for Dedalus if he wasn't already dead, and maybe for Mundungus but Tonks couldn't see him...She took comfort that she at least bought them some time.

"Such a loyal friend and apprentice," He practically cooed at her, sickening her to the extend that she'd have retched if she wasn't so weak. Tonks glared back, realizing he was using legilimency on her, "I'll make it quick." His wand was now ready, just a simple command from his master and-

"Tom,"

Tonks watched as Lord Voldemort turned. In a distance, she saw Dumbledore in thick black robes. Flanking him, she blearily saw various member of the order. Tonks wanted to raise her wand against Voldemort, whose back was to her but her hand wouldn't budge. At least her wand was still in her hand, she'd not let it go, just like how she was trained not to…

* * *

Tonks woke to the sound of sobbing by her bed. She found the strength to open her eyes. Her body was numb and she couldn't feel anything, neck down at least. Her head was throbbing.

"You'd think this is a funeral or something," Tonks croaked, looking at her mum, whose puffy red eyes were still leaking tears.

"Oh Nymphadora!" Andromeda stood instantly, leaning over her daughter. Tonks would've shuddered, now completely comprehending the real similarity of her mother to Bellatrix, if she had the strength. Tonks realized she was in a private ward, _the kind which bore the patient in it to death by having one patient to one ward_. She was certain Andromeda had insisted on it.

"I'm fine mum," Tonks strained her dry throat. She wondered if her mum knew about what exactly happened to her. Just exactly, how much does Dumbledore let her mum know? Tonks knew she for a fact didn't tell her parents about the Order.

"How do you feel?" Andromeda turned to the table to pour her a glass of water, flustered.

"Nothing," Tonks replied simply, "neck down at least."

"Yes, yes, that'll be the numbing spell. It'll be fading soon…" Andromeda gave her a straw so Tonks just sipped from it. Her mum casted worried glances across her body as Tonks drank.

"That bad?" Tonks cringed. Andromeda smiled fondly at her daughter, brushing her hair back with her hand, "Where's dad?"

"He just left for work. He'll come to see you later."

"Mum, you need not stay by my bed all the time," Tonks sighed, feeling her torso start to ache.

"You're right though, the queue to see you outside is getting longer," Andromeda smiled, "you have quite a number of nice friends."

"Yeah, sure…" Tonks glanced to the closed door; certain those would be Order members. She might not even have none some of them personally.

"Well, I better be going then. I'll come back to see you tomorrow," Tonks watched as her mum picked up her bag.

"Bye mum…"

Tonks glanced around the room, the ache in the torso increasing to become a throb.

"Nymphadora," Professor Dumbledore stepped into the room, the twinkle in his eyes quite obvious even behind the half-moon spectacles.

"Professor, what happened?" Tonks asked anxiously, attempting to get up but regretting it instantly as her whole body burnt. She fell back into the bed, writhing until the pain fade.

"That is not advisable." Dumbledore said with a small smile, "Just stay in bed,"

"Yeah…that'll be nice," Tonks gasped, "but what happened?"

"It appears Voldemort happen to have some matters to attend to at that time," Dumbledore replied, taking a seat.

"Lucky me…" Tonks muttered then stopped herself before she jumped up again, "How's Mad-Eye? And Dedalus? And Dung?"

Dumbledore chuckled, "Let's start with Mundungus shall we?" Tonks waited for him to continue, "He managed to apparate away to inform the order,"

"Wow," Tonks said, thinking it was probably due to his cowardice but decided against voicing it out, "I owe him then…how's Mad-Eye…"

"He and Dedalus is both in the neighboring wards, probably bustling with the hoards of visitors by now," Dumbledore said calmly, reaching for the snack at her bedside table, "You don't mind if I take some of these?" Tonks hastily jerked her head a little as a 'no'. She watched as her old headmaster indulge in the snack before continuing, "two death eaters were apprehended, while 3 of them escape, including Bellatrix Lestrange."

Tonks shuddered.

"Two death eaters, among whom are Jensen Dane and Desmond Cliffe,"

"Dane?" Tonks gaped, mentally wondering just which death eater was he.

"They are being interrogated in the Auror Office as we speak, preferably. Scrimgeour did have some suspicion when Kingsley brought them in,"

"Is that really…" Tonks started, not able to bring herself to continue.

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded slowly, "you must have great courage to stand up to that."

Tonks didn't reply, feeling the fear –she blamed it as a post-meeting-with-voldemort effect—making her chest throb more.

"Well, Thanks for saving me," Tonks said eventually, unable to find anything else suitable to say.

Dumbledore smiled, chuckling, "Get well soon," He reached out and patted her gently on her arm. The headmaster soon left, leaving Tonks to her thoughts and her wounds.

She had no idea what happened to her body but it hurts. Sighing, Tonks glanced at the tip of her bed, knowing there'll be a clipboard with the records which she really wanted to read. Tonks began looking for her wand, careful not to jostle herself too much.

"Looking for something?"

Tonks jerked, startled, "Charlie," She forced a smile. After all the activities about the fight with Death Eaters and their leader, she'd forgotten about the thing she had going with Charlie.

"Mediwitch said you wouldn't be so perky after the spell completely wore off." Charlie grinned, leaning over to kiss her on her cheek before sitting down to occupy the vacant chair.

"What's wrong with me?" Tonks asked.

"Huh…Let's see," Charlie stood and picked up the clipboard, reading from it, "Several grazes on palms, cheek and knees. 3 broken ribs, Gash on shoulder, sprained ankle. Traces of Cruciatus Curse. Cut on back of head." He summed it up, wincing, "Wow, ouch." Charlie looked up.

Tonks forced a smile, pretty sure it came out as a grimace, "Now that you mentioned it all, it's starting to hurt."

"Should I call the mediwitch?" Charlie asked, sitting back down on the chair.

"No, I could use a few minutes of consciousness." Tonks replied, "How long have I been out?"

"About a day. Mad-Eye and Dedalus are long awake and Dedalus would be discharged in about a day." Charlie reached out, taking her hand in his.

"Charlie, I'm fine, really." Tonks forced a smile, "if you're busy…"

Charlie looked up from examining her hand, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No…" Tonks grimaced as her head throbbed, "I mean if you're busy, you don't have to stay here specially for me."

"I think it's quite reasonable if I stayed by the woman I love when she's hurt." Charlie smiled and Tonks tried to return likewise, "but you're right…Dumbledore called for a meeting, just now. So, I'll have to be going. He's arranged for someone to stay by you till you're discharged."

"And what is that for?" Tonks demanded, frustrated.

"Well…let's just say we don't leave victims from the order vulnerable after their face off with you-know-who." Charlie grinned. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek again, "I'd better be going. Mum wanted to see you but the Dumbledore said the meeting was urgent so, she told me to tell you, she'll come later."

"Tell her thanks." Tonks smiled, already missing Molly's cooking, dreading the food they served at …

"Sure, I'll see you." Charlie turned and left, closing the door quietly after him.

Tonks sighed, wondering if she should take the offer about calling the Mediwitch, her wounds are starting to ache quite badly. She couldn't take deep breaths without hurting with the potions working on mending her rib-bone. There was a quiet knock at the door.

"Come in," Tonks frowned in puzzlement. Since when do people visiting a ward knock? None of those who visited her so far did so…

Remus Lupin opened the door and stepped in, shooting a small smile at her. Tonks tried not to look annoyed or in disbelief as she closed her eyes, not being in a mood or the state for Lupin to make her dizzy and nervous, with his eyes-magic, or angry for that matter.

"Why are you here?" Tonks blurted instead.

"I'm on first watch," Lupin approached her bed and stood at the tip of it.

"And the meeting?"

"I'll not be available for any mission for a while, I'll be away…" His voice trailed off and his eyes flickered to the window.

"Why?"

He flashed her a ghost of a smile.

"Oh," Tonks mumbled in realization, "When's the full moon?"

"In 3 days." Lupin replied simply, digging his hands into his pocket.

Tonks took a good look at him. _Good, he can't do that eye thing from this distance…_she sighed in relief, feeling her shoulder starting to give her trouble. Remus looked worn out. His lips seemed to be set in a small frown and his face had a weary cast over it.

"Don't Mad-eye or Dedalus need protection?" Tonks asked, "you-know-who wanted to kill him."

Remus Lupin smiled, "He's not defenseless. Mad-Eye almost hexed the last mediwitch who came to wake him to eat his meds. He apparently got hold of his wand, practically sleeping with it."

Tonks smiled in amusement.

"And…he told me to give you yours." Tonks watched as Lupin walked to her bedside, pulling open the drawer and in it, sat her wand. He placed it by her pillow.

"Thanks, sit."

Lupin slumped down in the chair, a small soft sigh escaping him.

"Do I really look so bad?" Tonks asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, looks like you got ran over by the Hogwarts Express, but that's not why I…" Lupin paused.

"Yes? Go on." Tonks probed.

"When the moon approaches, I can feel it. My body sets itself for transformation." Lupin explained cautiously, fold forming between his brows as he picked carefully through his words. Tonks was sure he left out information for her.

"Does it hurt?" She asked him in a small voice. Lupin seemed to notice that, smiling a little as he replied.

"Most of the time."

"I'm sorry," Tonks muttered. Life isn't fair sometimes…_what gives me the right to transform without even a tinge of hurt and for it to hurt Lupin everytime he does so without a choice whatsoever._

"Don't be," Lupin smiled as he looked out the window.

"Lupin-"

"You just can't bring yourself to call me by my first name, can you, Nymphadora?"

"Well, you can't bring yourself to call me by my last, can you?" Tonks countered.

Lupin broke into an amused laugh, "You're unbelievable." He chuckled, running his hand through his light brown hair. Tonks set her face into a pout, not caring if it made her childish. When he was done being amused, he looked her dead in the eye, "I think your first name is beautiful, so I use it."

Tonks blinked, blushed, looking away. She normally had an instant counter attack to that already prepared but Lupin made it sound like he meant it, "I don't think it is. So it's still Tonks."

Lupin sighed, rubbing his face, "You won't give in, would you?"

She didn't reply him, fixing him _the_ stare –which she'd found out got her what she want except with her mum and Mad-Eye, who has the scariest stare

"Tonks, it is," He said with resignation in his voice.

"Then you're Remus now," she grinned, successfully breaking his weary face into a smile. They smiled together for a while before Remus's face went back to that serious expression; his eyes never leaving hers as he looked at her earnestly. Tonks barely got the time to groan before his eyes captured her full attention. Today, they were different. From the pale blue that they normally were, they were now a little greenish; probably the lighting. There was also a dark cast over them, delivering their owner's weariness quite obviously. The lights were still dancing around on them, making it seems like there were silvery flecks in them.

Feeling slightly dizzy, Tonks looked away, blushing.

"Maybe I should call the mediwitch…" Remus stood and raised his arm above her head to reach for the button.

"No," Tonks turned and said in time, "M'okay." She assured.

"If you say so…" He looked at her cautiously, sinking back down into his seat.

"I don't wanna sleep…" She murmured, looking at him. Tonks wondered idly if she snored.

"Alright," Remus told her, "I won't call the mediwitch."

"How long does your shift last?" Tonks asked.

"You're full of questions aren't you?"

"That's what Mad-Eye said."

"I'll be here till tomorrow morning."

"What about the visiting hours?"

"Dumbledore already told them. And this is a private ward so not much harm is done."

"Okay. Were you there? With Dumbledore when he came to the street?"

"Yes."

Tonks huffed as he spoke no more, seemingly distracted with something he's thinking about.

"Sorry," Remus said, his tone soft, "I'm not much fun, aren't I?"

"Elaboration helps." Tonks pointed out.

Remus chuckled, "Alright…yes, I was there." He said deliberately

"And?" Tonks probed.

"and, what I saw was horrible." His voice reduced to a soft murmur.

"Yeah, you-know-who isn't really a charmer." Tonks grinned, feeling her head ache with the stretch in facial muscles.

"What happened?"

"Not much," Tonks admitted, "He tried to kill Mad-Eye."

"That's reasonable," Remus thought aloud, "Considering the number of his most loyal death eaters still in Azkaban because of him."

"Bellatrix recognized me," Tonks said with a shudder.

This seemed to draw his attention, his body leaning towards the conversation just a little, "Sirius would want a bite out of her." He said with a slight smile.

"I'd bet." Tonks rolled her eyes.

"He's worried about you. He couldn't stop bouncing when he heard the news the last time I saw him before setting off to the hospital,"

"Tell me him I'm fine." Tonks urged.

"I'm sure the rest already told him that." Remus assured, leaning back again as the topic of Sirius dissipated.

"So what's the order-" Her sentence was cut short as she yawned, grimacing as she shifted.

"That'll be enough talk for now, you're tired."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, your eyelids are drooping."

"That's 'cause my head aches."

"Because you're tired."

"No."

"Yes."

"Remus!"

"Nymphadora…this is childish and pointless."

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" She shot up, shrieking. It didn't last. Soon, she was doubling over with pain, gritting her teeth together to prevent herself from crying out. Her eyes watered and she felt a pair of arms around her, guiding her slowly back to lie down, "Don't call me that!" She growled in between her pain as Remus leaned over, tucking her back under the blanket. He ignored her, grabbing her wrist as she flailed against him like a child, "Promise me!"

"This is ridiculous."

"No!" She cried pointlessly, throwing her tantrum.

"Fine! I promise! Just lie still!"

Tonks instantly stilled, shocked and then angry. She'd never heard Remus Lupin raise his voice at anyone…

"Does your shoulder hurt? How's your rib?"

"Fine," Tonks told him curtly, turning her head to face away from him.

"Tonks,"

"…"

She heard him sigh, "Tonks, I didn't mean to yell at you-"

"You did." Tonks grunted, intent on ignoring him.

"I sincerely apologise for that." She heard his velvet voice said calmly, "The moon, it makes me irritable and…"

"a prat." Tonks finished for him, turning to face him. He was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"If you say so." Remus dropped his hand and smiled wanly at her. Tonks fell silent, feeling her body ache with stress and fatigue.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little," Tonks admitted.

Then the door opened. Mad-Eye was holding his walking stick, clad in his hospital gown and his cloak (which Tonks knew was concealing his wand for him) and his magical eye in its socket. He limped grudgingly over to her bedside, leaning heavily on his walking stick.

"Mad-eye," Remus stood, freeing the chair.

"Wotcher…" Tonks muttered warily. _Mad-Eye coming in after my childish episode could _not_ be good_, "What're you doing here…"

"Did you really expect me to sleep with you screeching your voice out." Mad-Eye grunted, sitting down at the tip of her bed.

"It's my fault." Remus spoke up.

Mad-Eye turned back to look her dead in the face, "How're you?"

"Still breathing," Tonks grinned, "And so are you."

Mad-Eye grunted, "Reckon it was important for them to gather," He turned to Remus.

"Dumbledore said they must have some important business there," Tonks spoke up.

"Well, they're discussing it at the meeting so we'll just have to wait to know tomorrow." Remus replied.

Tonks muttered unintelligently, thinking of how bored she'll be here. Then Mad-Eye and Remus engaged in a serious conversation about duties while Tonks bore herself to death by wringing the tip of the blanket around her unhurt finger.

"Lass, get some rest, expect you to be up and about by tomorrow." Mad-Eye said.

"Yeah yeah…" Tonks muttered, "and I'll be getting some real rest knowing my mentor might come over in the middle of the night screaming constant vigilance…"

"Insolent girl." Mad-Eye muttered under his breath, glaring at her. Remus stood by, holding in his laugh at this exchange; the effort formed folds between his brows.

"I love you too," Tonks looked up and smiled, a little too brightly. Mad-Eye grunted in response, leaving the room. Remus chuckled, his arms folded across his chest.

"Give Moody a break, Tonks," Remus said, amused as he sink back into the chair.

"I will when he will," Tonks said, feeling her eyelids starting to droop against her will.

"Sweet dreams," She heard him said to her in a gentle teasing tone.

To be continued…

* * *

Divinia Serit: I completely agree. I was wondering if I made Charlie a little too desperate... :) Thanks for the review!

Hope06: Glad you liked Lupin in the last Chapter! Thanks so much!

**:-:-:-:**

See that 'Leave a review' button? Click that! ^.^ reviews make my day!


	8. Chapter 8: Who? Me?

Chapter 8: Who? Me?

Tonks's days in the hospital passed quickly. By the end of the week, she still whined about hospital food and whimpered when the disgusting smelling potions were brought to her.

Lupin left on the third day after he was assigned to her, thus having Charlie standing in for it. Tonks's couldn't stop thinking what the werewolf version of Remus was doing. Constantly through Charlie's incessant stories of what happened at the order (after putting an imperturbable charm on the doors), Tonks kept wondering if Remus was sleeping, or if he was hunting. Tonks stopped and shuddered when she began wondering what he ate.

He surprised her when Remus took back his duty as her guard on the next afternoon following the full moon night. Charlie looked bitter to leave because he had to stand in for Tonks's duties but left nonetheless without kicking up a fuss.

Remus looked worst for the wear. There were dark eye rings surrounding his eyes, his lips turned down in a permanent grimace as he moved or spoke to her. His movements were stiff but still more than capable of working as the security which Tonks didn't need.

"Don't you need to get to your duties at the order?" Tonks demanded, sitting in an upright position on the bed, with a soft squishy pillow supporting her back; placed there considerately by Remus.

Remus sighed heavily. _That made him look and sound older than Dumbledore…_ Tonks thought.

"You already asked me that…" He looked at her wearily.

"Sorry," Tonks said but he smiled, shaking his head in amusement as her haughty tone carried anything but an apologetic one.

"You're not," Remus said, grimacing again (a common aftermath of a smile after a full moon which Tonks noticed), "about 2 to 3 days after a full moon, I'm not much of a use on two legs as Mad-Eye without his magic."

"Are you in pain?" she asked again as he grimaced upon finishing the sentence.

"I'm fine." Remus looked up, not smiling this time but his tone was soft enough.

"It looks like I'm stealing the bed from you." Tonks pointed out, squinting as she changed her hair from vibrant pink to soft purple.

They fell into a comfortable silence again as Remus decided not to reply, looking out the window.

"I'm getting out of here, in a day at most." Tonks told him as she lay on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Is that a promise? Or is that an order?" Remus arched an eyebrow.

"It's me swearing to get out of this…" Tonks groaned, turning to bury her face into the pillows, most of her wounds already healed.

Her ribs were as good as new; her grazes left nothing but pale smooth skin in their place, her head causing trouble now and then but nothing major and her shoulder, aching once in a while with a stringy scar left in what used to be a burning gaping gash.

"You almost fainted on your last trip to the washroom,"

Tonks scoffed, "That was what I get for staying in bed for a week."

"6 days."

"Whatever."

:~:~:~:~

"What?" Tonks put a stop to her whistling as she looked up from packing.

Remus Lupin was standing across her at the side of the bed, smirking. He shrugged, "Nothing,"

Today was a glorious day, in Tonks's calendar. She was finally out of the 'hell' just like how she'd promised herself. Charlie had been assigned duty again on the time she was discharged. So Remus would have to escort her to the flat to put her stuff down then they were going to attend the Order Meeting which was scheduled such that Tonks could attend, much to her delight.

Tonks ignored him, continued with shoving her belongings into the bag. In five short minutes she was done. Heaving the bag off the bed, Tonks headed for the door only to have it snatched from her grasp in less than a few seconds.

"Give that back," Tonks demanded.

"I will, once you get back to your flat." Remus was standing by beside her, her bag in his hand. His eyes was pale blue and the silvery flecks were back…Tonks realized, tearing her eyes away from him before she could faint again and prove the Mediwitch right about not discharging her. The Mediwitch had been less than willing to but there was little one could do to stop Tonks when she'd set her mind on something. Remus told her it was a 'black' trait but he stopped mentioning it when Tonks's flared up at him, her hair turning positively tomato red with anger.

"Fine," Tonks glared at him, deciding this wasn't worth her attention, "Do it your way." She jutted out her chin and walked to the door, shoving it open and practically bouncing down the corridor.

They made it out into the streets of London.

"Can we get a drink?" Tonks turned to Lupin.

He was already looking at her, folds formed between his eyebrows as if he's thinking really hard about something, "If you want to," The solemn look never leaving his eyes.

"Alright, let's go." Tonks grinned, slipping her arm through Lupin's and apparated without another word.

They appeared in an alley, as usual. Tonks dragged Remus along as they walked. She was eager after spending seemingly forever at .

Remus was throwing a reproachful look at her but Tonks barely acknowledged it, knowing he was probably a little ticked off when she sidelong him without his permission.

"Pick up the pace, will you?" Tonks retorted, slipping her arm away from him and moving ahead, entering the Leaky Cauldron. It was nearly empty but that was not surprising considering Voldemort's untimely return.

She found a vacant table for two at the corner of the bar and sat down in the chair facing the door. Just as she settled, Remus walked in, glancing around before sitting down opposite her.

"What would you like?" He asked, his mood already improving.

"Firewhiskey," Tonks replied, in a celebratory mood.

Remus waved to the barkeeper, Tom, "Two butterbeers please." He called, receiving a friendly nod of acknowledgement from Tom.

"I said Firewhiskey!" Tonks scowled.

Remus ignored her as Tom came to set their drinks down on the table.

Tonks huffed, digging in her pockets.

"Here," she said, holding out four sickles for Tom, appalled to see Remus Lupin holding them out likewise.

"Er…" Tom glanced at both of them as they stared.

"Take it," Tonks hastily shoved the four sickles into his hand and Tom went back to the counter.

"I can pay." Remus said to her in a low tone as she reached for her butterbeer, taking a sip.

"My treat," Tonks replied, "Take it as thanks for putting up with me for the last few days."

"I'm not 'putting up' with you…" Remus muttered as he too took a sip at his drink.

"If you're saying I'm good company, you're the first." Tonks grinned.

"No, I'm not saying that either but you're not unbearably a bad company either," Remus smiled.

"Thanks, Professor," Tonks rolled her eyes.

:~:~:~:~:~

After the drink, they quickly dropped off Tonks's belongings at her flat before apparating, individually this time, to Grimmauld Place.

Tonks couldn't hear anything from the kitchen so they must've been quite ahead of time. Remus was trailing right behind her. The old place looked the same from the last time she came here, except more dingy and dirty. Tonks was genuinely starting to wonder what Kreacher is doing these days apart from mopping around and complaining about presence of the Order.

_Now I need to watch for the-_ Tonks thought, mentally preparing herself but she was a tad too late. Her toe clipped on the troll-leg umbrella stand, threatening to send her sprawling. Tonks groaned, her knee and half healed shoulder jarring from the impact as she shot them out to cushion her fall.

"Tonks-" She heard two voices call out simultaneously before one prominent one covered them all.

"FREAK! ABOMINATIONS! HALF BREEDS! BLOOD TRAITORS!"

Upstairs, Walburga Black's portrait went off again.

She felt a gentle hand on her back, trying to help her up from behind but someone in front helped her up instead.

"Cuz!" She heard Sirius's laugh as she was pulled into her cousin's embrace.

"Good to see you not decomposed yet!" Tonks laughed, grimacing as Sirius's hand unintentionally patted once on her shoulder.

Tonks heard Remus run up the stairs hastily and soon, the portrait was quiet.

"Good to hear auntie is still as perky as ever." Tonks commented, pulling away from Sirius, who made a face at her statement, "Where is everyone?"

"You and Moony are half an hour early. But don't worry, they're filing in." Sirius grinned, "Come on, it's so good to have you back!"

"Aw Sirius, I didn't know you to be the sappy type." Tonks said sarcastically.

"You don't know a lot of things about me," Sirius smirked, "For example, how actually devilish attractive-"

"Stop," Tonks moaned, covering her ears and started for the kitchen, ignoring the cusses Sirius's muttered at her.

She sat down on the wooden chair and sighed, reaching back to touch her shoulder.

Tonks heard some conversation but couldn't catch the words before she heard the chuckles, followed by a loud smack then Remus and Sirius filed into the kitchen, the latter dropping unceremoniously into the seat at the front of table. Remus sat down in a more dignified manner than Sirius, pulling out a chocolate bar from his pocket and digging in.

"Tonks!"

She turned, hearing a cry from behind her. There in the doorway, Ginny Weasley grinned.

"Wotcher Ginny," Tonks grinned, "How'd you know I'm here?"

"Tonks…" Fred walked in behind Ginny.

"Everyone in Grimmauld place-" The other, presumably George, followed behind his twin.

"And outside Grimmauld place-" Fred cut in.

"Heard your arrival." Both of them smirked at her.

Tonks scowled.

"Hi Tonks," Ron entered and she immediately shifted her expression to a small smile for the youngest of the brothers, and apparently the nicest.

"Where're the others?" Tonks asked, peering around Ginny.

"Out, on a mission," Fred said glumly, "That includes Bill…"

"And Charlie," George winked.

"Shut it," Tonks snapped, inducing a snicker from all three Weasley boys present. Remus looked towards the fire, devouring the last of his chocolate bar.

"Oh, Tonks, how are you? Mad-Eye said you got hurt," Ginny sat down in a chair to her left.

"I'm fine, see? As healthy as a hippogriff," Tonks grinned, "Mad-Eye exaggerates."

"Do I?"

Tonks groaned and turned to find her mentor towering behind her chair, both his magical eye and normal one staring at her.

"Wotcher Mad-Eye!"

Mad-Eye grunted and turned to Ginny, "Get upstairs Kids, meeting's about to start."

Fred's and George's face both puckered, Ron scowled and Ginny looked at her.

"Go on," Tonks patted her shoulder. Sighing, Ginny left the chair, following her brothers out and upstairs.

Mad-Eye walked nosily to the other side of the room to allow space for the rest of fill in. Bill followed after him, smiling at her. Charlie walked in after, sitting down beside Tonks. Arthur had a grim look on his face as he too took a chair with Molly, Emmeline, Elphias and Dedalus.

The whole kitchen seemed to have sunk into a different atmosphere from just now. It was quiet as everyone sat around the table, staring at the table with a grim and solemn look on their faces.

"Mad-Eye?" Tonks spoke, puzzled.

Everyone turned to her.

"What's going on…?" Tonks continued, her voice dropping in volume as she squirmed under the stare, "Is someone hurt?"

"No," Mad-Eye replied and turned towards the door.

Tonks turned just in time to see Albus Dumbledore enter, "Hello Nymphadora," His eyes twinkled behind his half moon spectacles, "Good to see you in better health."

"Good to see you too sir…" Tonks muttered, anxious to get on to more important business.

Albus walked to the other end of the kitchen at the counter and took a seat, "Severus will be joining us soon, and may I know the report of the raid? Alastor?"

"It wasn't a success," Mad-Eye started, "Many of them were there, with some newcomers. Snape was there."

"Yes," Albus nodded, prompting for Mad-Eye to continue.

"We've gotten to them on the surprise attack and would've if Snape hadn't stepped in-"

Tonks let the rest of the report drown away. So that's what made everyone look grim and upset. It was the betrayal of Severus Snape, Dumbledore's most trusted and only spy within Voldemort's private army.

"No one was severely injured in the raid." Mad-Eye concluded his report.

"Thank you Alastor," Albus inclined his chin, "As we all know Severus has a place to secure by the side of Lord Voldemort," Some of Order members cringed.

"He defended them with his life." Arthur spoke, his fists clenched and placed on his lap.

"Yes, Voldemort shall know of his contributions," Albus replied well mannerly, "It has to appear to us that we were betrayed for Voldemort to think that Snape is on his side."

"What if he is?" Sirius spoke, his voice tight.

"Sirius, I can assure you, Severus will never betray the Order."

"But…" Sirius objected.

"He has never rendered any of you significantly injured and just that he has proven himself to us."

"Well…maybe he can't-" Sirius growled, looking around the table for supporters.

"Sirius," Remus cut in, "we have to trust him. This isn't a time to argue amongst ourselves."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue but the door opened smoothly and Severus Snape walked in, as haughty and as confident as ever. In his stiff hands, he held a parchment.

"Ah, Severus, so nice of you to join us," Albus leaned back into his chair, looking not at disturbed with the tense debate they were having.

"Headmaster." Severus greeted in a low tone as he took a chair.

"I believe the meeting ended early? Anything to report for today?"

"Yes," Everyone has their eyes trained on Severus Snape as he stood, opening the row of parchment.

"The dark lord has been aiming to recruit more Death Eaters, seeing that he has lost a significant number of them after his downfall at the Potters," Tonks caught a hitch in his voice as he mentioned the Potters but he continued smoothly, "A list was made of worthy and trustable people to recruit. We have a few students on the list…"

"Yes, I will look into that Severus, thank you," Albus spoke as Snape paused.

Snape nodded curtly, continuing, "and the Dark Lord has also made it known that he also wants to recruit Ministry workers under his allegiance-"

"But none under the order?" Sirius interrupted, wringing his fingers impatiently.

Snape glared at him, "I was getting to that part Black if you would keep it quiet-"

"Oh yes, of course, I'm waiting," Sirius retorted, leaning back into his chair and crossing his legs.

Snape pursed his lips before continuing, "We were assigned people to recruit…"

Tonks chewed on her lips as she listened idly. It was boring to hear her old potions master droning off in a long list of names; more work for the order to prevent those crucial recruitment. She looked across the table. Sirius was rolling his eyes and shaking his leg under the table. Remus was looking and listening intently to Snape. His hands were clasped together as he leaned forward, folds forming in between his brows. Then Tonks looked into his eyes to find them already on her.

A breath hitched in a throat as they locked eyes.

Remus looked disturbed and a tinge of frustration but they vanished for a moment to be replaced with curiosity and puzzlement. Then his lips twitched in a small smile to her. Tonks blinked, looking down at the old wood, morphing her blush away. She hurriedly looked up towards Snape, trying to concentrate on the report.

"…William goodwill and Nymphadora Tonks," Snape looked up, rolling the parchment back up with the flick of his wand.

Everyone turned again to look straight at her for the second time in the meeting. Some of the eyes were suspicion, others were plain surprise.

"W-what?" Tonks gaped, her jaw dropped. She blinked, wondering if there was something wrong with her ears.

Snape turned to Dumbledore, "The Dark Lord specifically demanded for her to be brought to him."

"Is there a way you can find out what he wants with Nymphadora?" Dumbledore asked politely, his eyes not leaving Tonks.

"I will do what I can."

"Voldemort is aware of Tonks's participation in the Order?"

"Yes," Snape replied, "Bellatrix seemed to have objections against a recruitment of 'an abomination'." Tonks tensed.

Everyone jumped as Sirius slapped the table, causing mugs to topple over, "Shut. That. Hole. In. your. Face." Sirius seethed.

"Your love for your cousin is touching Black-"

"Sirius." Albus spoke, raising a wrinkled hand and gesturing for him to take his seat again.

Remus reached over, yanking on Sirius's coat roughly and forcing him back down. Sirius glared at Snape, crossing his arms over his chest.

"As I was saying," Snape stared at Sirius for a while before turning back to everyone in general, "The Dark Lord is impressed with Nymphadora's…undying fealty for the Order. Her skills as an Auror, a metamorphagus and her black bloodline, however 'tainted' it may be, only makes her possible allegiance with him more tantalizing for the Dark Lord."

Dumbledore looked at Tonks thoughtfully, "Yes, having what is the best and what he can't have has always been a hobby of Tom's."

"Albus." Mad-Eye spoke, both his eyes shooting the headmaster a meaningful look.

Dumbledore turned to face Mad-Eye for a while before sighing, "Yes, Alastor." He turned back to Snape, leaving everyone wondering what was the unsaid conversation, "Severus, if you have anything to add."

"I have none headmaster." Snape replied, taking a seat.

The rest of the meeting went away in a flash for Tonks.

She still couldn't believe it. Voldemort wanted _her_, an average clumsy Auror, into his inner circle. Yes, she was loyal; probably why she was in Hufflepuff but she was sure there're others out there who are also as loyal and probably even ready to grovel at his feet on his command. It's just, why her? Why now?

Tonks began thinking what she did to make her just more special to Voldemort than others. Did Remus Lupin not match up to her in Voldemort's eyes? Did Alastor Moody, the great Auror and very skilled wizard, not appeal to him? What about Sirius Black, a loyal, probably a skilled wizard and a fierce friend?

No matter how much Tonks pondered about it, she couldn't figure what it is. Sure, she was a metamorphagus, so? Why can't Voldemort just import one? _Is there really no other metamorphagus in the world that happens to be an Auror and is not a backstabbing idiot?_

"Nymphadora, I'd like to have a word with you,"

Tonks blinked, looking up to see the Headmaster standing. Everyone seemed to be fidgeting and some ready to leave. She realized the meeting was over.

"Ok," She hurriedly replied, glancing across the table to see Remus looked at her with a worried expression. Tonks jumped as Charlie squeezed her hand; she'd forgotten he was there, "I'll be fine." She muttered to him before leaving her seat, staggering as her toe caught on the leg of a chair on her way out.

Dumbledore walked all the way to the door before stopping.

"Yes Professor?" Tonks stopped, feeling her stomach churn.

"I'd like to have the memory Nymphadora, if you may allow me to have it, of your encounter with Lord Voldemort."

"What?" Tonks frowned, saying stupidly.

"Voldemort didn't start out a monster Nymphadora. He was a boy in a muggle orphanage, so lonely and angry. Then he came to Hogwarts for us to teach him magic. He began to realise he was not the ordinary witches and wizards. He couldn't quench that hunger for power over others. And he found he could talk to snakes." Dumbledore paused there as Tonks took it in.

"He was different," Tonks breathed out, feeling her stomach squeeze, threatening to throw up its content, "It's in his blood."

She looked up to see her old Headmaster nodding slowly.

"You're saying, I could be bad?" Tonks felt her brows knit together and her lungs struggled to suck in air.

Dumbledore shook his head, "He sees something in you Nymphadora, which I would never believe in."

"And what is that?" Tonks felt her voice choke.

"From what Severus says," Dumbledore eyed her cautiously, his tone careful, "I think Tom sees the potential in you, in his inner circle. A powerful and fiercely loyal subordinate. There is nothing he'd want more than that. What he couldn't seem to find."

"He has tons." Tonks countered.

"Apart from dear Bellatrix, there is no other as loyal to him." Dumbledore told her and Tonks found herself at dead end with no argument for that. He was right, only her deranged aunt is that loyal to him, the rest were either dead or ruled by cowardice in dire situations, "That is just a hypothesis. From your memory, I will see if that is true."

Tonks sighed, nodding. Wearily, Tonks drew her wand and extracted the memory. Dumbledore already had an empty vial open.

"Thank you Nymphadora,"

"Tonks." She corrected, finally remembering to amidst all the chaos in her head.

Dumbledore chuckled, "Good day." He opened the door and stepped out, apparating away.

"Yeah…good day…" Tonks muttered as she stood in the doorway.

"Tonksie?"

Tonks sighed inwardly, closing her eyes as she felt Charlie place his hand on the small of her back.

"Tonks? Are you alright?" She felt Charlie snaked both his arms around her waist.

"Weasley, not here…" Tonks murmured, gently prying his hands away

"Weasley again?" Charlie's hand fell to his side, "Alright, I'm sorry. I won't push it again,"

"Okay, Charlie, I'll see you alright? Later, after dinner, then we can talk." Tonks offered, turning to face him.

Charlie nodded earnestly, "Sure."

"Come on, time for dinner?"

"Yeah." Charlie nodded, staring behind her distractedly. Tonks sighed, placing her hands on his shoulders, she kiss him on the cheek. She felt his hands wound around her waist again, holding her in so she couldn't pull away.

"Charlie…seriously," Tonks muttered.

He chuckled, letting her go, "If I didn't know better, I'd thought you were trying to pull the joke." Tonks forced a smile before sliding pass him to get to the kitchen.

Her mind was still heavy as she shuffled towards the kitchen.

"Watch that umbrella stand,"

She turned to see Remus Lupin standing on the stairs, waiting for her to pass.

Tonks found herself returning his smile, "I had it," She replied. As if to elaborate her point, she weaved pass the Troll-leg umbrella stand, all the time not breaking eye contact with Remus Lupin.

As she got safely pass it, there had to be a damn protruding door ledge, sending her to the ground and into Sirius.

"For Merlin's sake Tonks!" Sirius cried, his rear clashing into the cold concrete floor with Tonks landing harmlessly on him.

"I'm sorry," Tonks smiled sheepishly.

Sirius smirked, "Just my luck baby Cuz, rebreak any bones yet?"

"Nope." She grinned.

"Good, can you get off me now?" Sirius patted her hand which on his stomach.

Remus entered the kitchen, chuckling, "You had it alright,"

"Shut up," Tonks muttered, getting up in embarrassment.

"Tonks, are you staying for dinner dear?" Molly hollered from the counter.

"Yeah, sure!" Tonks called, stepping off Sirius with Charlie's help.

"Here, sit." Charlie pulled out a chair for her and Tonks gratefully sat in it, eager to not get into any trouble again.

"Hi Elphias, Emmeline," Tonks smiled as she found herself faced with both of them.

"Hey, Tonks," Emmeline murmured, averting her eyes, "We're be going now. See you guys soon,"

Tonks watched as they hurriedly left Grimmauld place, Elphias right behind Emmeline.

"So what?" Tonks demanded to the rest of the people at the table as some looked at her while others stared after the departure of Emmeline and Elphias, "what?" Tonks raised her voice, staring at Bill. Even he had a contemplative look on his face.

"Tonks…" She heard Remus mutter from somewhere she didn't bother to locate.

Tonks stared as she still received no reply from the rest of the order. She pinched her lips together, "Molly, thanks, I'd better be leaving."

"Tonks dear? Are you sure?" Molly emerged from the kitchen behind the counter.

"Yes, see you," Tonks choked out. She hurriedly got up, weaving pass the chairs and heading out the door, trying to hold in her tears.

She knew she was stupid. She'd let herself think she'd found a place where people would accept her for who she is; that the order was where she'd supposed to be. _No, no one trusts me._ Because Voldemort had to come along to make her life miserable! As if the fact that half her family was or still is death eaters wasn't enough and that she really needed someone to come along to try to unleash her _potential_!

Tonks found angry tears forming at the corner of her eyes as she took her coat off the hook at the door.

"Tonks,"

She turned, her wand out, "Leave me-"

"Tonks,"

"Remus," Tonks muttered, lowering her wand, "I'd be going now, bye." She turned, slipping her coat on hastily as she opened the door of Grimmauld Place. It was dusk, the sun was just setting.

"You need a drink?" Remus asked.

"You should get back inside." Tonks replied without turning. She discreetly brought up her hand, wiping away the angry tears.

"Let's go for a drink." He stated, placing his hand on her good shoulder and guiding her into the alley for apparition, "May I?" He extended his elbow towards her.

Tonks nodded, swallowing as she took his arm.

She barely saw his wand before she felt the squeeze and they were in the alley where they apparated from Leaky Cauldron.

Tonks dropped her hand from his arm and walked aside him to the bar. She had no idea what she was doing. She needed a break, away from everyone so she could think straight and so she could properly cry her heart out for the all the damndest experience she'd had in the last few days. There was no one now; she had been labeled the traitor along side Snape for whatever reason she couldn't figure it out.

"You alright?" Remus asked as he pulled the door open for her.

"I'm just fine." She muttered, stepping into the bar, not surprised to find it almost empty. People rarely come out in the night now that Voldemort is said to be back. They'd not believed Harry Potter but they'd also rather not take any chances.

"Tom, two hot chocolate please." Remus said to the idle barkeeper.

He led her to the table they sat at this morning. Tonks quietly slumped into the seat facing the door again.

"You're awfully quiet."

"Remus, I-" She paused, feeling her tears choked her up. Tonks took a moment to swallow before continuing.

But Remus raised a hand, stopping her, "Shh, it's okay..." His voice drop to a gentle whisper.

Tonks looked up, meeting his eyes.

His pale blue eyes seemed lighter in the soft yellow lightings as they looked at her. She could see the light dance off his eyes as he gazed at her. Tonks was surprised to find them prying and concerned for her.

"They don't trust me, do they?" Tonks broke the eye contact.

"Well, this is a first time an order member is specifically requested to join the Death Eaters," Remus admitted.

"So what?" Tonks growled, "I didn't ask for this!" She raised her voice.

Tom glanced up once from making the hot chocolate. Tonks looked towards him once before looking down at the table.

"I know," Remus said softly. He reached out his hands across the table toward hers but paused abruptly as Tom, the barkeeper approach, placing two cups of chocolate drink on their table before leaving. Tonks didn't see Remus pay as her eyes never left his but she reckoned he did as Tom lumbered away quickly.

She sucked in a nervous breath as his hand stayed just an inch at most away from her own. Her heart palpitated heavily on her chest and her eyes didn't know where else to look but where they already were; his eyes. _Oh no..._Tonks thought, _no, don't do this to me…not now…_she groaned inwardly, feeling a panic attack coming along.

"I don't know what is it that I did," she choked out, "I-" She stuttered to find the right words to say.

Then his eyes left hers, glancing to his left, towards the door. His free hand shot up gesture for her to keep quiet as he shrunk to the corner of his seat, against the wall. He removed his hand and shifted his cup to it was at the corner too.

Tonks looked up to see Scrimgeour huddled over the bar counter with another Auror she didn't know personally. She watched as Scrimgeour muttered to Tom the barkeeper.

The blood to seem to drain from Tom's face as he heard what Scrimgeour said, which Tonks couldn't hear. Then she ducked as Scrimgeour turned around to glance across the bar, missing her at the corner. She got up upon hearing the bell at the door twinkle. Scrimgeour was gone with the Auror at his heel.

"Look, this isn't a good time to talk about this," Tonks started to get up, anxious to leave before her tears overflowed. He was surprised but gave her a small smile, not hiding the hurt he felt.

"Alright, I understand," Remus smiled, staying where he is.

Tonks frowned, puzzled, "What? What do you understand?"

"It wouldn't be a good idea now, for Scrimgeour to see…" Remus explained, his smile strained, "But I really don't mind, Tonks, you should get going."

"Remus," Tonks sighed, staying where she was instead of leaving like she planned to, "No, I don't care if Scrimgeour see us together. You're my…friend." She muttered as she plopped back down into the seat.

"Don't stay on my account," Remus started to get up, "Come on, I'll get you home."

"No, I don't want to go home!" Tonks snapped, glaring down at the wood.

"Okay, then we'll stay here," His voice said to her well-mannerly, "Tonks, I'm listening."

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it." Tonks said curtly, reaching for her hot chocolate and taking a sip.

"Sirius proves that having Black blood doesn't necessarily make you bad," Remus spoke, his tone softer, "and your mother,"

She looked up sharply and scowled.

"No legilimency," He stated.

"Sirius has never been bad. He believed differently from all other Blacks. I thought I could be like him but…look how that turned out. Less than a year in the order and I'm causing more trouble then I'm helping," Tonks scoffed, "and my mother just rebelled against her family for my dad. If it wasn't for him, she'd probably be just as bad as Bellatrix."

"Love changed her," Remus stated, "Y'know why Harry became the boy who lived?"

Tonks frowned, "Everyone knows that story. He survived the killing curse straight to the face."

"Yes, I mean why."

Tonks shrugged, "He's just special?"

He shook his head, smiling, "Lily's love for Harry was what protected him that night."

"Is-is that even possible?" Tonks asked incredulously.

"According to Dumbledore, it's old magic. But it's there. Lily's undying love for her son was what saved him that night," Remus told her, his eyes gentle in the low light, "It protected him ever since."

Tonks nodded, averting his eyes.

"Tonks, love makes anything possible and Voldemort can't love."

_His eyes…_Tonks groaned inwardly as her infatuation with his eyes surfaced again. She didn't understand it. He's just a regular guy, not particularly good looking at first glance and as far as she knew, he'd never gain any personal attention from any ladies; _guess no one looked hard enough, who would do that with a werewolf? _

"So don't let him make you think otherwise about yourself," Remus leaned forward, "You're so young,"

"Why are you out here?" Tonks blurted.

"I couldn't leave you angry," Remus looked away.

"Was it that obvious?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'm good with seeing things, seeing you're angry and hurt."

Tonks leaned back in her seat, "I'm not anymore, I have a knack of bouncing back real bloody quickly. Or so Mum always says."

"Good," Remus smiled, "It'll be a nice change in the order with you around."

"Wasn't such a fun place to be huh?" Tonks grinned, winking at him.

He chuckled, "Not since…" Remus's smile faded, "Honestly, I can't recall."

"Why don't we eat something?" Tonks smiled, waving Tom over and they both other some biscuits, "You're a good listener." She took a generous bite out of the chocolate biscuit.

"I have been known to have a talent in that aspect,"

Tonks looked up to see him looking at her, "thank you."

"You're very welcome."

To be continued…

Thanks to people who read and especially those who review last chapter!

Twilight-Vamp-3: Thank you!

Hope06: Thank you! I did want to picture Tonks that way and Remus is just being Remus = sweetheart :D

Yreva13: Thanks for the feedback :D

REVIEWS MAKE MY DAY!


	9. Chapter 9: Decisions

Chapter 9: Decision

Tonks was pacing a hole in the floor, tripping more than a couple of times.

She'd never realise how uncomfortable she could feel standing outside their headmaster's office; it'd never bothered her when she was called here after so badly injuring a fellow student that he couldn't remember his name.

It was Tuesday. It was supposed to be a good day.

Remus Lupin helped made her anger and hurt, with the lack of trust from her fellow order members, go away after listening it out of her. She'd stopped thinking about it ever since but Tonks didn't miss the fact that she hadn't been called on Order duty for days and that no one has made so much of an effort to converse with her, including Remus himself.

Charlie has been sending letters to her about how busy he was, not mentioning the details in the letter but Tonks was certain it was order work.

She finished her paper work with the free time and headed to work today like any other, only to be informed that she was urgently called to Hogwarts, by the Headmaster himself.

Tonks begged for an urgent leave from Scrimgeour and left, bumping into her mentor at the Hogwarts gates.

Right now, her mentor has disappeared into the office with Dumbledore, insisting to talk privately with the headmaster and leaving her out of it; though it defeats the purpose of her being there.

Tonks wringed her fingers anxiously. This had to be something important and she knows it. For the last hour, she'd tried various tricks on the door so she could eavesdrop, none works and Tonks expected that.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Mad-Eye stomped out.

"Well I'll see you later Albus!" He yelled out behind him and clonked nosily as he headed for the stairs.

Tonks didn't see the Headmaster as she glanced into the office before running after Mad-Eye.

She stood quietly beside him as the stairs spiral downwards.

"What's up?" Tonks started cautiously in a soft voice.

"Nothing," He muttered roughly under his breath.

"Oh, of course…" She said sarcastically, not bothering if she pissed him off even more, "I took my leave, offending Scrimgeour with my unprofessionalism, at last minute to get here…for nothing."

Tonks had been hoping for a turn-around-and-yell-till-your-ears-dropped lecture but as soon as the stairs stopped, Mad-Eye clonked away, grunting at her statement.

"Mad-Eye!" Tonks cried in frustration, "What is up? This has got to do with me hasn't it?" She demanded, trying to keep up with the pace, interrogate Mad-Eye and not trip over.

He ignored her with the none-of-your-business face.

"For Merlin's sake! I have the rights to know!"

"And what would you do if you know?" He stopped abruptly, glaring at her with both eyes, "run off to play hero again?" Mad-Eye growled angrily, his face red with the effort.

Tonks blinked, she'd honestly never seen Mad-Eye so ticked in her entire time with him, "So it has got to do with me?" She challenged, gathering her bearings to stand up to him.

He turned away and continued walking.

"I want to know!" Tonks demanded, half running to keep up with him.

"Why?" Mad-Eye grunted at her, keeping his eyes in front.

"Because-" Tonks scrambled for a decent answer, "it's got to do with me!"

He snorted and Tonks opened her mouth for another counter attack but her toe caught on something, sending her instantly to the floor. Her palms scraped on the rough concrete, her knee protected with her robes. Disorientated, Tonks got up.

She was surprised to see Mad-Eye standing a distance away, looking at her.

Normally, he'd be gone, leaving her to find her own way after screwing things up by tripping.

Flushing, Tonks scrambled to her feet, dusting her scraped palms on her robes before shuffling up to her mentor who continued walking, slower this time. Tonks realized they'd made it near the Hogwarts gates. _That was quick…_

"You're upset…" Tonks muttered, glancing sideways at her mentor's calm but grumpy face; or perhaps the right word is moody…

"No," He replied in a lower tone.

"I can see through that." She concentrated on watching her step, "I haven't been the apprentice 'who never leaves your side' for nothing."

Mad-Eye's magical eye stopped whizzing in its socket and swerved towards her but his normal one kept forward. That always unsettled her but after long time of practice, Tonks could now speak coherently from being unsettled by that.

"That magical eye whizz when you're upset, and your forehead wrinkles," Tonks pointed out, "And your hands… make your walking stick creak under the pressure while the other twitches, towards your wand I suppose."

Tonks noticed Mad-Eye's magical eye swerve down to his hands, noticing that it is true and instantly undoing everything she noticed.

She grinned in triumph, "See? I recognise when you're upset."

"I recognise insolence."

"Well, truthfully I am a little sorry but I can't help but notice, you're upset at me almost all the time,"

"Insolence…"

Tonks rolled her eyes, holding onto Mad-Eye's arm firmly as he started to apparate. He paused, glaring at her. She smiled sheepishly before feeling the squeeze of apparition.

_Mad-Eye really could be sweet when he tried. _

Tonks realized they were at his house.

"Y'know, you should really take some time to fix your house," Tonks told him bluntly, "It could collapse on you,"

"While I'm beautifying my house, the death eaters would be taking a nip at our arse," Mad-Eye grunted, barely stopping as he went into his house.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Not all of us would die without you for a few minutes."

She followed him into the house, watching as he removed his coat, revealing a buttoned up leather vest and a cotton jumper he was wearing.

Mad-Eye ignored her, going around doing his daily business, summoning the newspaper, a cup of coffee and casting his coat into the laundry.

"What are we going to do?" Tonks wondered aloud, fiddling with an hour glass that seemed to be flowing an endless thin flow of sand slowly.

Mad-Eye glanced up with his normal eye, his magical one; now calmer and stopped whizzing, continue reading the papers. He didn't reply her, summoning what she was fiddling with without his wand.

Tonks pouted as he placed the hourglass by his side, continue to read the paper.

"_I_ want to play with that!" Tonks whined playfully, stomping her foot on the wooden floor, causing some dust to fall off the wall.

Mad-Eye glared at her, not turning away from his newspaper but Tonks spotted the faint twitch at the corner of his lips of amusement. She grinned, pleased with herself as she bounded to the side, spinning a round crystal ball which was held by a stick through it, suspended in midair.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood and Tonks ducked down, the crystal ball shattering into a thousand pieces after taking a jet of white light.

Grinning, Tonks rolled aside, plucking her wand instantly and firing her own towards Mad-eye.

He parried it lazily, continuing the motion with a slight flick in his wand. A spell she didn't see struck her in the chest, knocking the wind of out her as she backed helplessly.

At the same moment, Tonks fired a spell of her own, shattering the cup of coffee.

Mad-Eye glanced down as the coffee spilled over the wooden floor and part of his couch, jabbing his wand towards her but Tonks was a tad faster than that. She had already alter her position, having the element of surprise, she grinned.

_Incendio_

Instantly, Mad-Eye's newspaper lit up like a candle. It curled up like an insect as the flames consumed it. Mad-Eye growled in anger, casting it away into the dusty fireplace with a twitch of his wand before striking Tonks's in the face with a spell.

She attempted to duck but a spell of that magnitude wasn't possible for her to dodge physically, panicking, she tried to deflect it with a shield.

Part of it deflected, smashing Mad-Eye's empty and creaky cupboard by the side, part of it hit her, sending her into the wall.

Tonks was still reeling from the impact as she heard Mad-Eye stood up and started walking, the familiar and noisy clonking from his wooden leg and his walking stick filling the silence in the house, apart from Tonks's occasional groan.

She blinked, gingerly extracting herself from the dent in the wooden wall, watching for splinters.

Tonks cleared her vision to see Mad-Eye angrily repairing his broken artifacts.

Giggling and attracting his attention, Tonks grinned, "You asked for it."

He surveyed her for a moment with his magical eye.

"I'm fine," Tonks grumbled impatiently, "Get that eye off," She shuddered as it unsettled her again.

Mad-Eye grunted, seemingly satisfied with his surveying before returning to repair his crystal ball and cupboard.

"You really should get new ones." Tonks pointed out as he repaired his cupboard.

_Mad-Eye, ironically, seemed good at repairing things. Hmm, will he teach me? Maybe, if I begged. _Tonks mused as she lay down on the couch, placing her head on the arm rest while crossing her ankle over the one at the other end. She stretched, feeling her chest ache from the spell.

She turned to see Mad-Eye poking and prodding at the burnt pile of ashes in the fireplace with the tip of his walking stick. Tonks glimpse the Daily Prophet as he flipped it over.

"You owe me a copy." He growled eventually, sitting back down into his couch.

"No I don't," Tonks sang, becoming serious, "You attack me first,"

She watched he flicked his wand, clearing away the mess the coffee has made.

"Why did you?" Tonks demanded, staring down Mad-Eye as he returned his house to its original undisturbed state, fixing the wall as well. She waited for her answer, determined not to say another word till she get one; she'd admit, waiting for an answer was difficult. Eventually, he leaned back, placing his wand on the side table instead of stowing it away.

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"What have you and Dumbledore talked about?"

"Voldemort,"

Tonks cringed. She'd seen that coming but hearing the cold truth hit her was different, "the decision is made?" She guessed, looking back up at the ceiling, seeing the wood on it peeling.

Tonks didn't hear anything but saw Mad-Eye inclined his chin in an affirmative.

"What is it?"

There was no reply but she waited. Tonks was sure, no doubt, Mad-Eye would've been arguing with Dumbledore about it; it was the sides they were on that made her unsure.

"You'll infiltrate the Death Eaters as Voldemort's followers," Mad-Eye stated, deadpan.

Tonks let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding. Scoffing, Tonks felt tears form, "Guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"I didn't agree to it," Mad-Eye barked gruffly. At this, Tonks was admittedly surprised. She tilted her head so she could establish an eye contact. He looked like he was going to be sick. His face was twisted in a helpless glare to the floor.

Tonks sighed, suddenly seeing the conversation in Dumbledore's office quite clearly, "So what's the story?" She asked, her tone was bored; as if asking about the weather.

"You embrace your family's bloodline; the right one, and decided to work against Dumbledore," Mad-Eye explained, his tone disgusted.

"And, what can I offer?" Tonks sat up.

"A spy, in the middle of the order," Mad-Eye reached for the hourglass by his side.

"And they're supposed to believe that?" She snorted.

"Some true news is bound to tilt his resolve."

"That's Snape's job."

"That's why you're working with him."

Tonks groaned, burying her face into her hands.

:~:~:~:~:~:~

This was the second time she came to a meeting with Mad-Eye. It was uncomfortable. Mad-Eye Moody attracted attention wherever he went and being noticed was the last thing Tonks had in mind now.

She trailed behind him; watching her feet as she ticked off the danger she'd pass safely.

Grimmauld Place was quiet, as usual. This was normally the case until Tonks came and trip over the umbrella stand, which she was determined to avoid today.

_Loose carpet…_Tonks bit her lips in concentration and took a deliberate step, _check…_

_Ok…here it comes…umbrella stand…_She took another step and stepped pass it, unscathed.

She grinned in triumph, looking up, "Did you see that?" Tonks looked at the back of Mad-Eye's head. There was no reply as he proceeded to a chair, "Of course you did, you just decide not to respond…" She muttered grudgingly before properly acknowledging the people in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

There were not many people.

The Weasleys were not there. Emmeline was seated beside Sturgis Podmore, talking to him in a low tone as he nodded knowingly. A heap of rags which was curled up in the corner of the room, which Tonks assumed was Mundungus, was starting to let out a rough snore. Sirius was reading the prophets, folds forming in between his brows as he balanced his chair on its two hind legs. Remus was reading a book which was splayed out on the table. Mad-Eye was smirking at the wall; which meant he was laughing at her, again…

Tonks sighed, sitting down beside Mad-Eye.

"Hi baby Cuz," Sirius looked up, beaming. He rocked back so his chair is on its fours again, abandoning the prophets which Mad-Eye took.

"Baby again? Sirius-ly?" Tonks said testily.

"Yep!" Sirius grinned, winking.

Remus chuckled, "Hello Nympha-"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Tonks shrieked, turning heads, "Lupin!" She hissed.

He corrected himself, "Tonks, hello,"

"Hello…Remus," Tonks muttered.

She kept quiet for the rest of the time, noticing the glances Emmeline was shooting her. Then Severus Snape strutted into the room, pulling a chair out smoothly before settling into it, right beside Mad-Eye.

Tonks didn't miss that Snape's eyes hadn't left her since he arrived. It was until Albus Dumbledore walked into the kitchen, then the silence was broken. Dumbledore started, announcing the absence of the Weasleys family, which according to him was due to the hold up at the mission they went (which had the rest of the absentees accounted for).

Then it went a boring round around the members who were there, starting off their various reports. As it went on, Tonks got more bored and angry. Evidently, there had been a lot of trouble and she'd never been called to any of them!

By the time Remus finished his report, skipping both Sirius and Tonks to move on to Mad-Eye, Tonks was grinding her teeth and crumpling her Auror robes in anger.

She glared at anything she could focus on, trying not to think about how even Dumbledore didn't trust her enough to send her on a mission. After all, she is an _Auror_! How could they question her loyalty just because Voldemort had seen something sacred in her that is worth collecting?

Snape then stood up, droning off in his reports.

This was slightly more interesting.

Snape talked about the deaths within the death eaters that Voldemort had killed in the heat of anger; due to the failures of various mission, which Snape neglect to mention in details.

Then he went on to what Tonks registered was the most crucial part of this meeting at all, "And, the dark lord has been increasingly impatient, with the recruitments…"

"Yes, he would find unable to locate…" Dumbledore's voice trailed off to the back of her mind.

_So he was trying to make me seem invisible within the order…_

"Headmaster, I would suggest the Order quickly take action," Snape turned to speak to Dumbledore, a slight bow, "The dark lord is not known for his patience."

"Yes, Severus, so I've seen." Dumbledore's wrinkled hand reached out and brought the daily prophets in front of him. The front page was decorated with the many massacres of the death eaters, cleansing the wizarding blood of mudbloods…

"He is used to getting what he wants." Snape said to Dumbledore but Tonks didn't miss the look he shot her from the corner of his eye.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, and an action would be taken." Dumbledore rose from his seat as Snape sank down in his, "After much consideration of this…issue…which we face, I have decided that we will go along with Tom's wishes."

Tonks saw many of them tense. Emmeline glanced in her direction, Remus's clasped hands tightening so his knuckles turned white, Sirius raised both brows, Mad-Eye did nothing but stare, Sturgis remained impassive, Mundungus's snored even louder. Snape turned to stare towards her, his arms crossed over his chest.

"We'll give him what he wants." Dumbledore finished.

Sirius snorted. Remus paled, his hands turning all white with the strength he was pressing them together. Mad-Eye was still staring down. Tonks stopped there, staring at her mentor.

"So we're sending her to die?" Sirius leaned forward.

"No, Sirius." Albus inclined his chin.

"Well, that's what we're doing here. We're sending her there to die!" Sirius snapped, "They'll kill her anyway!" His voice rose to a shout.

"Sirius…We'll take all the precautions."

"I won't let you send her to her death-" Sirius's eyes flashed with anger.

"I'm not a baby anymore!" Tonks exploded.

"You have no idea Tonks," Sirius countered.

"Sirius…"

"I know!" Tonks seethed.

"No you don't! You didn't spent 12 years of your life in Azkaban! You have no idea!" Sirius roared.

"You have no rights to say that to me!" Tonks shouted.

They both glared at each other, a steely glare against a similar and probably the same glare.

Tonks didn't know when she stood but they were now both on their feet, glaring as they yelled at each other.

"Well FINE!" Sirius roared, throwing his hands up, "I'LL WASH MY HANDS OFF YOU SHAN'T I? YOU'RE ALL BIG NOW AND I'LL JUST HAVE TO SIT BACK ON MY BONY ARSE AND WATCH HOW THIS SHOW TURNS OUT! MAYBE I'LL START PRAYERS FOR YOU!"

"GO ON THEN!" Tonks bellowed.

"Sirius, Nymphadora," The headmaster's voice reached their ears.

With both of their Black blood boiling, they failed to respond to Dumbledore's call. Sirius snorted before kicking his chair back into the fireplace, stomping away from the kitchen and up the stairs.

Tonks watched him leave, her eyes watering. Without another word, Tonks took off towards the stairs and burst into a room.

She soon hit a wall. Pounding on it in fury, Tonks felt tears roll down her cheek as clenched her fists tighter, determined to pound till the wood gave out. Why didn't anyone understand that she was more then she seem? Why can't anyone see that she could do this? Everyone whose opinion mattered to her (that is excluding Emmeline's opinion of her selling the order out), thought she couldn't do it!

Letting her fury loose, Tonks's continue to pound on the wall, having Warbulga's portrait go off only fueling her anger.

Then she felt two larger and stronger hands wrap around her wrists, slowing her incessant pounding on the wood and eventually putting a stop to them. Tonks screwed her eyes shut and screeched in frustration, yanking her hands out of the iron grip and pounding ahead of her. Instantly, she lost feel to the wood under her fists, only feeling her fists hit against something softer.

Tonks opened her eyes to see, through the tears, Remus Lupin wincing as her right fist collided with his jaw.

She stopped, angry tears still flowing.

"Get out!" Tonks heard herself hiss at him.

"I won't,"

The answer was simple, straight and so was Tonks's reply. Her fist collided with his chest again and again. She could see him wincing as she hit him but he never moved.

It wasn't long till her arms tire. They were sore.

Probably sensing the slowing in the barrage of punches, she felt Remus's larger hands completely wrap around her fists.

Tonks felt a sob wreck her body and she leaned into his embrace, leaving a mess on his cardigan.

"I-I d-d-didn't m-mean any of this!" She cried into his shoulder, her sore arms wrapped around him.

"Shh, there now…"

She felt Remus's lips at her ear, muttering comforting but meaningless words into her ear. It wasn't long till Tonks ran out of tears, her body still wrecking now and then as sobs tore through them.

All the while, Remus's left hand remained still at his side while his right rubbed her back in a friendly manner.

"I-I'm sorry…"

"For what? For finally getting Sirius to admit what his problem was?" Remus asked, chuckling into her ear.

"For yelling," Tonks pressed the side of her face to his shoulder, feeling the sobs fade away.

"Everybody does that sometimes."

"I'm not much fun to be around, aren't I?" Tonks asked, quoting him.

She felt his warm breath travel down her neck again as he chuckled, "Still fun." He assured. Tonks shivered, her skin tingling where his breath brush its surface.

Tonks extracted herself from him slowly, her face flushing with embarrassment, "I'm sorry," She said, averting his eyes as her fingertips trailed a light bruise which was forming near his jaw where she'd gave a right hook.

He didn't reply.

Curious, Tonks looked. He was staring.

"It's fine." He blinked.

"It's bruised." Tonks muttered, wondering how his chest was.

"That wouldn't be the worst wound I've got,"

Tonks looked at him lamely.

"That wasn't the right thing to say…is it?"

"No, it wasn't." Tonks steeled a stare at him as she concentrated on morphing; wanting to make sure her features was all in place. She reached up and grabbed a strand of hair, just in time to see it turn from tomato red to soft pink. Then she worked on disappearing the red puffy rings around her eyes.

"Better now?" Remus asked, watching her morph.

"Yes," Tonks admitted, reluctantly stepping away from his embrace.

"Let's stay here though," Remus smiled, already reading that she wasn't willing to go back down to face the order.

He slipped pass her and sat in a couch, lighting a fire in the fireplace with his wand.

Tonks turned and saw that she'd slipped into the library of the 'Noble House of Black.'

"Are you alright?" She stood beside his couch, "Your chest."

Remus tore his eyes from the fire and smiled at her, "Yes. Though I'll make a good guess, you were trained to punch?"

"You wouldn't want to try Mad-Eye's…" Tonks muttered.

Remus frowned, "I can't picture that…"

Tonks forced a sinister smirk at him, "Don't."

To be continued…

Thanks to my readers and reviewers of last chapter!

KatiaSwift: Thanks! Glad I got Tonks just right, there's too little of her in the books and movie!

NymphadoraTonks-RemusLupin: Thanks so much!

Hope06: hehe, glad you liked it!

Av8: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

A/N: And of course the decision has been made and more RL/NT for fans! Hope you all enjoyed it!

PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10: Progress

Chapter 10: 'Progress'

"First and foremost you have to learn to understand the way the Dark Lord likes things to be done," Snape's cold and deep voice had never annoyed Tonks more, "He doesn't stand for whining, he believes that his most efficient death eaters come from the ones which are most committed and loyal," Tonks looked up as he turned to face her, "Which is why your name is found on the latest and most wanted recruitment. He might've seen the loyalty you are capable of offering,"

Tonks tensed as Snape leaned down, his calculating eyes narrowing as they looked into hers. Instantly, she felt the probing in her mind. Tonks steadied her walls around her mind, fogging up whatever Snape could see on the surface.

She contemplated tearing her eyes away from him but that, Tonks knew, would just classify her as weak and cowardly in Snape's eyes.

Plucking her courage, Tonks glared back into Snape's black eyes, fighting Legilimency with Occlumency. His probing got more vicious as he failed to penetrate her shields. Mad-Eye had trained her up for this for ages when she was under him for Auror training. He'd spent a whole day probing her without so much as a few minutes rest. It wasn't easy for Tonks to master the trick of Occlumency. Her mind was moving so fast, probably why she talked more than normal, she found it difficult to clear her mind.

This time however, Tonks was sure she'd block Snape out. The veins in his temples pulsed as blood rushed to his face in the effort to penetrate her mind and in return, cold sweat broke out of Tonks's forehead.

"Enough," Mad-Eye growled by the side at the door.

Snape straightened up, "I would be prudent for you not to be here Moody, as I've mentioned earlier."

"I doubt that,"

"You would be interrupting my lessons with Nymphadora,"

"Tonks," Tonks corrected him.

"There's no one who is surer about how to teach my apprentice than me," Mad-Eye glared at him, growling matter-of-factly, both hands on his walking stick.

"Are you suggesting that you take over the lessons for Nymphadora-"

"Tonks," She hissed.

"And that you can be sure she'll know everything she needs to stay alive in the presence of the Dark lord?" Snape crossed his arms purposefully.

"It is my job to know about Dark wizards I assure you Severus," Mad-Eye glared.

Tonks watched this staring exchange nervously. As far as she knew, if a fight broke out, both of them were formidable wizards, "And you know so much about the Dark lord," Snape sneered.

"I know Nymphadora," Mad-Eye growled, his tone low and dangerous. Tonks cringed at the use of her name but decided not to interrupt for now.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure Nymphadora here -"

"_Don't call me Nymphadora!_" Tonks seethed at the both of them.

"Would not appreciate being smothered. As she'd so kindly demonstrate to Black." Snape continued as if she hadn't interrupted him.

Tonks glared at him as he hit a nerve, "Shut your mouth," She'd been extremely sorry and touchy about the incident with Sirius. It was not something that she'd like to talk about and neither do Sirius. As Remus was sending her off from the library, they'd bumped into Sirius. He had sent her off too, with a warm hug and apologies in his eyes and that was about the last time they talked about it.

Both of them ignored her, glaring each other down. Tonks glimpse Snape's knuckles turning white as he clenched them into fists whilst having his arms folded. Mad-Eye's upset symptoms are beginning to show.

"As I was saying," Snape turned back to her, his eyes lingering on Mad-Eye for a moment before boring into hers, "The Dark lord would expect no less than what he wants-"

"He wouldn't believe I'd swear my fealty to him like that," Tonks interrupted, shifting in the couch.

"Yes," Snape replied, looking down at her from where he stood towering in front of her.

"And?" Tonks probed.

"The dark lord has also been known to get what he wants by force." Snape said, looking behind her at no one.

"Imperius?" Tonks raised an eyebrow in scepticism, "If he does that, what's the point of getting me to join, I wouldn't be myself anymore now would I? This is very pointless."

"If we don't prepare you, you can be assured the Dark Lord would find you and all but drag you to him if he has to," Snape sneered. Mad-Eye snorted.

Tonks nodded in helpless consent, "Okay, fine. Can we continue?"

"Yes," Snape said curtly, "It has often been the Dark Lord's pleasure to invade his victim's mind creating visions designed to torture them into madness,"

"I think he influenced his followers well…" Tonks muttered grudgingly.

"And, no doubt, he will try to penetrate yours to search for where your loyalty lies." Snape continued as if he hasn't heard her comment, "The Dark Lord is already quite certain that you are not well practiced with Occlumency as he looked into your mind to see that loyalty."

Mad-Eye snorted again while Tonks grinded her teeth in annoyance, trying to recall if she'd accidentally let slipped anything during that time.

"To truly get pass the Dark Lord's tests, you'll need practice,"

"I blocked you out." Tonks pointed out.

"He'll not be satisfied with not being able to see in your mind. You'll have to fabricate."

"Great…" Tonks rolled her eyes, "More time to bond between us." She smirked when Snape sneered at her.

"I assure you, I have had enough of teaching you Nymphadora,"

"Then the feeling would be quite mutual," Tonks's smirk got wider, "And if you use that name again, make no mistake, I'll hex you."

For the next hour, Snape looked into Tonks's eyes.

Aside from the constant blocking of his vicious probing, Tonks tried to fabricate her loyalty for him. Her knuckles turned white as she grasped the armrests of the couch in concentration.

"Stop!" Tonks gasped, tearing their eye contact, "We're taking a break," She looked up at Snape through her fringe soaked with perspiration.

Snape pursed his lips, "The Dark Lord will not be patient with you."

"Well, I can't master this in a day," Tonks panted, "If you want to keep training so be it but find someone else for that!" She snapped.

To her astonishment, Snape leaped out of his chair and practically ran to her, planting both his arms on the armrests at either sides of her and glared, "You'll find yourself at the Dark Lord's feet no more than a week so unless you want for him to question his decision to keep you alive, you'd better improve," Snape seethed

"I am working on it!" Tonks growled, her wand already clenched in her hand, "Back off," She was positive her hair and eyes just turned red as Snape glanced at her wand before he straightened up. He glared down at her.

"It's your neck," He raised his brows nonchalantly.

"Yes, it is," Tonks glared before falling back into the couch in exhaustion after Snape left the room. She rested until her breathing resumed to normal before dragging herself off the couch and out of the room. They were training in the vacant bedroom which Sirius had reluctantly let Snape train Tonks in.

She staggered wearily to the bathroom and checked her reflection in the mirror. Horrified with her pale complexion and bright red eyes and hair, Tonks morphed them away. She'd always been pale but she always preferred to add some colours to her cheeks with her metamorphagus abilities.

When her hair was bubblegum pink, her eyes back to the black (she'd never bother with her eyes much since she didn't really minded if they were black), her cheeks a little rosy, Tonks left the bathroom. Determined on getting herself some tea, Tonks headed down into the kitchen.

Sirius was there, clutching a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand while glaring up at someone across the kitchen. Tonks entered to see Snape standing at the other end of the long table, holding a cup of steaming tea, returning to glare. Remus was sitting in the middle of the table with a book in front of him. His fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose while his other hand held open his book.

As soon as they noticed she was there, Sirius was the first to break the glare, "Hey Cuz!" He turned to her and greeted cheerily. Tonks narrowed her eyes, seeing his hazy eyes struggle to stay on her and she concluded; he was drunk.

"Hey," She mumbled a reply, walking to the kitchen. Tonks caught sight of Snape leaving the kitchen as she disappeared behind the counter to fetch the cup.

"How's the training?" Remus asked, dropping his hand from his face.

"Perfect," Tonks smirked, cradling her tea carefully while taking a seat near the counter.

"Snivelly giving you a hard time?" Sirius demanded.

Tonks choked, coughing violently, "Snivelly?" She laughed.

Sirius looked at her, his hazy eyes revealing the little sparkle of pride, "Yes, little greasy Snivelly."

"Sirius." Remus muttered but both of them ignored him.

"That's the best one yet!" Tonks laughed, tears filling her eyes. Sirius joined her and soon even Remus managed a small chuckle.

As the laughter fade away, Tonks sipped at her tea, feeling all relax and mellowed out.

"Really, how's the training?" Sirius probed.

"Good," Tonks shrugged, "Why?" She demanded.

Now it was Sirius's turn to shrug, "Let's just say Mad-Eye and I are on the same level here about Snivellus."

"He was never trusted was he…" Tonks muttered.

"Noooo," Sirius slurred, shaking his head, "That black tattoo he has on his inner arm didn't help." He smirked.

A breath hitched in her throat and Tonks placed the cup of tea down on the table softly. Shakily, she let go of the tea, looking up tentatively.

Sirius seemed oblivious to her reaction as he sipped his firewhiskey again, pleased with insulting Snape. Remus was looking at her, worried folds forming in between his brows.

"Excuse me," Tonks muttered before sliding out of her chair and leaving the kitchen.

"Nymphie?" She heard Sirius slurred after her but she didn't stop, heading up the stairs. Bumping into someone, Tonks whipped her wand out and thrust it forward.

Snape eyed her with a sardonic expression. Tonks seriously considered hexing him anyway but thought better of it and slipped pass him, dashing up the steps. She stumbled as her foot caught on the doorframe on her way to the couch.

Falling into it, Tonks buried her face into her hands. _This was all going wrong…It was not supposed to be this way…I don't want it to go this way…I don't want to be a Death Eater!_"Feeling sentimental?" She heard Snape's sneering.

With a weary sigh, Tonks looked up, glaring, "Get out."

"Emotional moments will not excuse you from death-"

"Snape,"

Both of them turned to see Remus Lupin standing at the doorway.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind if Nymphadora misses a few minutes of her lesson right now?" Remus strolled casually into the room, his left hand in his pocket as he placed his right on her shoulder.

"It's her neck," Snape turned and walked to the window.

Remus frowned but gestured for her to get up nonetheless and they walked out of the room.

"What?" Tonks turned to him as they walked down the steps.

"Thought I'd bring you out for some summer air," Remus smiled, opening the main door for her. She forced a smile as they walked quietly to the nearby park.

"I spent my whole life thinking how I'd one day arrest Bellatrix…" Tonks started as she sat down on the bench, drooping her shoulders, "I can't believe in a few weeks time I'll be grovelling at the feet of the monster I hate most."

"It's for the order," Remus replied softly.

Tonks looked at him lamely, "Please," She scoffed bitterly. Tonks didn't miss it as Remus cringe, _probably sensing how much of a Black I am…_"we all know it's to save my neck," she gritted her teeth in anger, "I'm only doing this because no one believes I'll be safe with…you-know-who trying to kidnap me." She said, glancing around as a few people turned at the mention of that name.

"And to infiltrate-"

"We both know it's a hoax…" Tonks interrupted, muttering, "Just because I'm the youngest everyone thinks I'm the weakest…"

"No one is thinking that," Remus sighed.

"Dumbledore thinks so," Tonks countered.

"We'll have to trust him," He replied simply.

"I hate Bellatrix," Tonks seethed, "I hate Dark arts,"

"Tonks…" Remus placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't want to be them," She turned to him, her voice reducing to a whisper.

"You wouldn't," He whispered, his tone almost reducing to cooing her, "you could very well be important to the Order because of that."

Tonks chuckled bitterly and looked away, "If things go well…"

"I know you can pull it off,"

She felt his fingers kneaded her tense shoulder gently, relaxing it instantly.

"You just have to be careful," Remus continued, "be very careful," His voice was soft and thick with emotion.

Tonks looked up to meet his eyes, "You care about me," She murmured, more of in confusion than in realization.

He froze, his eyes steeling again as he tore his hand away from her shoulder and looked away. She could've sworn she heard him mutter something akin to 'who wouldn't…'

"I'm just another stupid, clumsy and overconfident member of the order but-," Tonks smiled grimly.

"No, you're not," Remus turned to her in objection, "you're not stupid…well, maybe a little of the other two but…" His voice trailed off.

"Mad-Eye thinks so too," She laughed, feeling the troubles leave her for a moment. Remus smiled as she laughed. _He always does that…  
_  
"So you just have to be careful," He said smiling.

"I care about you too," Grinning, Tonks placed her hand on his shoulder. She felt him froze again under his touch but then a smile broke to the surface.

"Thanks,"

* * *

During the time of her training, Dumbledore had suggested Tonks took lodging in Grimmauld Place so that she could practice whenever she needed to with Snape during her off-work hours.

Sirius had been incredibly grumpy about Snape's constant appearance at Headquarters and Remus's indifference about that only fuelled Sirius's annoyance.

Tonks's life on the other hand, for the past 3 days have been pretty mechanical. She wakes up in the morning for work; having the best breakfast, she'd had since she left her mother's, from Remus whom she was convinced made the best bacons in Britain. After work, she'd return to find Snape already in her temporary bedroom and ready to infiltrate her mind. When it was done, she'd stagger downstairs for dinner with Molly cooking for everyone. Snape may or may not join them, depending on if Tonks pissed him off during lesson.

Then she'd spend some time talking to Charlie and then off for more lessons till bedtime. Tonks was rapidly getting sick of it.

However, tonight proved more interesting.

They were scheduled to retrieve Harry Potter from Little Whinging after the alarming news of him being attacked by dementors on Mundungus's watch came to them yesterday.

After biting his head off, Tonks's suggested the use of the brooms since Mad-Eye had insisted on not having portkeys, apparition or floo. McGonagall, who was leading the meeting since Dumbledore couldn't make it, was sceptical but on Kingsley's assurance, she agreed. Then they went on to plot to get the Dursleys out of there which was another brilliant idea from her out of pure playfulness on her part, to get the Dursleys out. In the end, she was put in charge to informing them of some competition she'd made up.

Now, Tonks found herself standing outside Grimmauld Place and waiting for set off. Her broom twitched in her hand, seemingly as excited to take off as she was. Remus, Emmeline, Mad-Eye, Kingsley, Dedalus, Hestia and Elphias seemed to be coming along.

She tapped her toe impatiently as Mad-Eye and Kingsley left Grimmauld Place. "Can't wait to get Harry? Or to fly?" She turned upon hearing Remus's voice.

He was looking at her expectantly, a broom in his hands too.

"Both," She grinned, already feeling her mood becoming increasingly better when she was finally out there on a mission.

Remus broke into a smile.

"Alright, in formation!" Mad-Eye barked. Tonks rolled her eyes at the formalities before kicking off the ground on cue. She'd not flown since leaving Hogwarts.

The rush of the summer air easily brought her out of her troubles and worries. She flew, completely ignoring the formation as she did it her way. Tonks could've sworn she heard Mad-Eye shout something but it was blown away with the wind as Tonks accelerated.

She laughed in exhilaration, glancing around her at the people flying with her. Tonks caught Remus's eye. He was flying by her left; he smiled before turning to concentrate on flying.

He looked like he was having a good time too but from the looks of it, Tonks could tell he was not trained to fly; so probably no Quidditch background, Tonks noted with disappointment.

_Definitely one less topic to chatter about with Remus_.

During her time at Grimmauld Place, it had also made her realise her fondness of having a conversation with Remus. He understood her and he is a good listener. Mostly importantly, Tonks knew he cared.

"Alright, we're almost there to land!" Mad-Eye shouted over the wind and Tonks tilted in for the descend. She was the first to land, smoothly collecting the broom upright as her feet touched the ground. She waited as the rest made their landing; some did it expertly, others not so graceful.

Tonks was already bouncing by the time Mad-Eye, who was the last, touched down. She ran to the front door, after tripping over the wires surrounding their lawn and easily opening the lock at the door. She entered hastily.

Everyone jumped and hissed as her free hand hooked a plate to the ground, shattering it instantly.

"For god's sake Tonks!" Mad-Eye growled.

"Sorry…" She turned and whispered before heading for the stairs.

At the top, Harry stood with his wand drawn.

"Put that away boy, before you blast someone's eye out," Mad-Eye grunted.

"Professor Moody?" His voice, which Tonks had never heard, travelled down the stairs.

"Don't know about the professor part, never got around to teaching you, did I?" Mad-Eye replied grouchily.

"Come down Harry, we want to have a proper look at you," Remus spoke, his voice hoarse from the lack of speech and probably the effort to keep it soft.

"Professor Lupin?" She could practically hear Harry's jaw drop. Tonks reckon it was pretty ridiculous… having two consecutive defence against the Dark arts teacher in one place, appearing at your house during summer... _yep…it's bloody bizarre…_

"Why are we all standing in the dark?" Tonks asked, before lighting the tip of her wand.

Harry was standing just at the foot of the stairs, staring as Remus introduced them. She started strolling around the kitchen; introductions didn't interest her, which is until she was introduced with her first name.

She took the trouble to stop her rummaging in the fridge (which to her was bloody useful), to interrupt him and once satisfied, she continued her journey.

Muggle things didn't appeal to her but they were interesting. She was impressed with the Muggles' ability to survive without the convenience of magic.

She could hear Remus and Mad-Eye talking to Harry. Tonks glanced over to see Emmeline and the rest examining the microwave, which her dad had taught her how to operate before. Sighing, she toyed with the idea of having a look upstairs…

"Well, then, off you go to pack your trunk," Remus told Harry in false enthusiasm which Tonks saw through.

"I'll help you!" Tonks called, turning away from the kitchen and dashing up the steps after Harry. She shot Remus a withering look which she know he'd recognise as her trying to tell him what a bad actor he was. She glimpse Remus chuckling quietly to himself in amusement as she followed Harry, "Very clean huh? These muggles," She commented, running her finger along the wall, "too clean I think. It's unnatural y'know."

She noticed Harry nodding, not really knowing what to say.

"My dad's a muggleborn and he's a slob at that. I suppose it differs huh? Like with wizards?" Tonks asked as they entered his room.

"I guess," Harry shrugged.

Tonks smiled, "This is more like it," She jumped over an abandoned sock and went for the mirror. She glimpsed Harry starting to carry his books into the trunk in the mirror as she contemplated changing her hair, "I don't think purple is really my colour is it? Makes me look a little peaky…"

She watched Harry's reaction. He scrunched up his face, "Er…" Tonks smiled, knowing he just didn't want to offend her.

"Yeah, it does." She said decidedly and morphed her purple away to replace it with pink.

"How…how'd you do that?" Harry demanded, gaping.

Chuckling, Tonks replied, "I'm a metamorphagus."

"A what?"

"Metamorphagus," Tonks grinned, "I passed Concealment and Disguise without practise at all, it is great."

"You're an Auror?"

"Yes," She replied, "I just got my badge last summer though so Kingsley is a little higher up than me. But, being the only metamorphagus around did have its benefits despite status,"

"Can you learn to be one?" Harry asked hopefully, already completely forgetting about packing.

"You'll have to learn the hard way I'm afraid. I'm born one. Metamorphagi are really rare though," Tonks puckered her face, wishing they were not_. Maybe, then Voldemort would find another loyal Metamorphagus to recruit and leave me alone…_Harry's face fell in disappointment.

"Wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes eh?" Tonks smiled.

"I wouldn't mind…" He muttered.

"Sometimes it's good to be different I guess," She turned to him, "sometimes…it's just really bad."

Harry looked up, surprised, "Yeah," Then his eyes flickered to her hair, "I guess you know what it feels like…you're-"

"A freak?" Tonks grinned.

"Different. I meant different." Harry hurriedly corrected. She laughed.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it," She strode over and sat down at the end of his bed, "You should try that too. Depressing over it isn't going to make things better for you."

Harry looked down, seemingly considering the idea.

"Everyone only gets to live once…" Tonks said thoughtfully, _yeah…and Voldemort's screwing mine up… _She thought sullenly before realising, _and he's doing that to Harry's too…_

"Yeah, you're right," Harry forced a smile.

"I know how it feels. To be chosen for something you didn't want," She choked over the last part. Harry frowned, puzzled. Catching herself in time, Tonks cleared her throat, "We're supposed to be packing,"

"Urm…yeah," Harry turned and began to throw his things into his trunk, obviously still bothered by what she'd said.

_Me and my stupid unfiltered gob…_Tonks sighed but decide to salvage the situation, "Don't be stupid. It'll be much faster if I _pack_!" She cried. With her wand in hand, Tonks made everything pile in the trunk, not in the most neat and organized way possible…Tonks noted with a cringe but that'll have to do.

Cleaning up Harry's owl cage too, she took it and got the trunk to follow them down the stairs.

"Excellent," Remus turned as they entered the kitchen again with Harry's trunk. Tonks smiled at him as she passed him to sit on the counter. She was idly aware of the conversation between Remus and Harry.

Looking up from fiddling with a loose thread on her glove, Tonks noticed Mad-Eye throwing furtive glances in her direction with his magical eye before it got stuck at the top…again…

Tonks sighed, knowing and preparing her stomach for what's to happen next. Mad-Eye asked Harry for a glass of water. Wrestling the eye out of its socket and into his hand, Tonks stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"You do know that's disgusting right Mad-Eye?"

Her mentor ignored her and looked at Harry, "Cheers," Mad-Eye smirked before dropping his eye into the glass, cleaning it.

Then they hung around the kitchen, waiting for the signal after Mad-Eye disillusion Harry. Mad-Eye pulled out his pocket watch and told everyone it's about time. Tonks hung Harry's trunk on the back of her broom as they stood in the front porch.

"There's the first signal," Remus said from beside her and everyone prepared to take off, hunching over their brooms.

"Don't break ranks If one of us is killed," Mad-Eye growled, "the rear guards would take over if they take all of us out,"

"Don't be so cheerful Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously," Tonks commented.

"Alright, there's the second signal. Let's go!" Remus said.

Tonks instantly kicked off. Behind her, she heard Harry laugh. She managed a smile; after all, how many happy moments can the boy who lived find?

She glanced around. Something was unsettling her gut. It was something she'd manifest in her time with her paranoid mentor. Mad-Eye's consistent barking was not helping her unsettled stomach.

Then she saw them.

_Shit!  
_  
"Guard Harry!" She heard someone order, probably Kingsley. Tonks whipped her wand out, having no problem flying with one hand while the other concentrate on firing spells. She was taking point with Harry just behind her. If she was down, Harry would be exposed. _That would not do…  
_  
_How could they know they're shifting Harry tonight? And why would they risk this, knowing all the most skilled Order Members would be here tonight?  
_  
In the clear night, Tonks saw a blasting spell coming to them face on, she being the first person to receive it since she was taking point.

Her first instinct would be to dive out of the way, but with Harry behind her, she'd rather not risk it. Bracing herself for it, Tonks cast a shield hurriedly and parried the spell aside. Tonks staggered back on her broom from the impact but was unscathed. Her eyes widened as the barrage of spells followed.

"Doge, Lupin, Vance follow me!" Mad-Eye barked, "Rest of you go ahead!" Instantly, the order formation broke, leaving the spells whizzing into the night and missing their target.

Tonks instantly broke off, aware of Harry still following tight on her tail. He was a good flyer.

She continued to the route back to Grimmauld Place, glimpsing Mad-Eye and the rest facing the Death Eaters head on. Seemingly sensing the change in the Order's plan, the Death Eaters split up too. Among the 10 Death Eaters, 4 broke off from the group and went after them. They were coming from their left.

Frantically, Tonks shot multiple stunning spells towards them. 2 of them swerve off route to dodge them while the other two parried them away.

Kingsley and Podmore took over and begin duelling two of the death eaters while Tonks and Hestia continued flying.

Her heart was practically beating in her ears. The initial two death eaters who evaded her stunning spells started on their tails. Tonks fired spells whenever she could but mostly, Hestia had to cover their rear as Tonks continued flying with Harry following. Then a quick spell from Mad-Eye incapacitated one of the death eaters, leaving the other open to a stunner from Hestia.

"We have to get back!" Tonks suddenly heard Harry shout behind her, "We can't leave them there!"

Coincidentally, Harry had hit right on the target for what she was thinking but Tonks wasn't going let a 15 year old ignorant Harry Potter plunge headfirst into danger.

"No! Not now! The rear guards-" Tonks shouted back.

"One of them could be dead by the time they get there!" Harry roared.

Her heart skipped a beat. _Remus…Mad-Eye…_

Then it occurred to her, _why the hell had Mad-Eye not called on me to fight off the death eater? Sure, I was most inexperience but no one, no one but my mentor know I am more than capable of fighting off death eaters…_

Her thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden.

"There she is!" One of the death eaters barked, flinging a stunning spell in her direction.

_Crap! Reinforcements!  
_  
She swerved her broom sharply to evade it and pulling her shield in time to fend off a blasting spell. Harry's disillusioned so hopefully, they can't see him.

_Stupefy!  
_  
The red jet of light narrowly missed one of their heads, grazing one of their hoods. That death eater looks disorientated for a moment, giving Tonks an opening. Her next blasting curse hit his shoulder, sending him reeling on his broom. Another one followed and this time hitting him full in the face. Tonks glimpse the death eater's mask soaring to the muggle houses below before she looked up.

She recognised him. Rodolphus Lestrange. Her uncle…

"How are you _Nymphadora_?" He sneered. Before Tonks could formulate a response, two more death eaters joined the fight. She was being overpowered as three death eaters quickly become 5. Tonks frantically parried off curse after curse, unable to find an opening to attack.

A jet of white light slammed into the backs of one of the death eaters and Shacklebolt was suddenly in the fight with her.

_Damn it! Confringo!  
_  
Tonks pushed her broom into a sharp descend, neatly dodging the spell. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Glancing back, she caught sight of Sturgis and Hestia guarding the disillusioned Harry as best as they could. Then Tonks's blood froze in their veins.

_Oh Merlin…_"Podmore! Jones!" Tonks shrieked. Before she could move out of the way, she felt the Dementors in her face, sucking happiness out of her instantly, "Expecto Patronum!" She stabbed with her wand frantically, filling her mind with the first happy thought that came to her mind.

Tonks had had the experience of having too many dementors get their fill of her and that definitely didn't go well with the fact that she was more than 20 feet off the ground.

Her ferret lit up the night sky, driving the dementor in front of her away. At the corner of her eyes, she saw Kingsley also successfully summoning his lynx and driving another dementor away.

Bring her ferret around, she drove away the dementors surrounding and overpowering Sturgis, Hestia and Harry, the latter probably hesitating to produce a patronus. Tonks wished he was hesitating; one underage magic charge is enough to handle.

"Nymphadora!" Kingsley's strained shout got her attention. Her broken concentration caused her patronus to vanish but she had more things on her hands now.

Tonks heard a sharp cackling. Turning, she saw Bellatrix's smirk as she vanished her mask.

"Nymphie has finally decided to come out to play!" Bellatrix smirked; not giving Tonks the chance to respond before firing barrages of curses at her. All of which, Tonks realised, seemed to not be the killing curse.

_Stupefy! Confringo! Reducto!_

"Now now Nymphie! Let's not be difficult!" She heard Bellatrix shrieked over the curses exchange, "Crucio!"

Tonks gasped, breaking her spell midway to dive into a dodge. Getting cruciated in mid-air doesn't sound very appealing.

_Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupid Death Eater! Incendio!_To Tonks horror, Bellatrix took all three stunners to her shield. The last spell missed Bellatrix but successfully singed the end of her robe.

She smirked, "How's dear Andy and her mudblood husband?"

Snarling, Tonks sent another spell to her head, her anger fuelling her precision and her speed,

"Touchy I see," Bellatrix laughed, "Mixing around with filthy Mudbloods can do that to you,"

"Better than Dementors," Tonks growled, whipping another spell into the air towards her.

"Lestrange!" Kingsley barked, effectively hitting Bellatrix in the shoulder as she was shielding a spell and busy laughing at Tonks.

Tonks grinned as her Aunt howled in pain, "Auror Shacklebolt," Bellatrix sneered as she attempted to heal the gash in her arm. Swiftly, Tonks sent another spell her way, desperate to not let her heal it. Kingsley was then occupied with another death eater who came to assist Bellatrix.

Tonks couldn't be sure what was happening around her but knew for a fact that they were being outnumbered. Kingsley and her were barely able to hold off the death eaters much less while evading attacks from Dementors. She supposed Hestia and Sturgis were at least able to bring Harry away since they were already out of her sight.

As she braced herself for another curse from her Aunt, Tonks was again surprised when instead, Bellatrix sneered, apparating away in a puff of black smoke.

"Coward…" Tonks muttered, despite the fact that her heart was beating so fast she could hear it in her head. In a distance, Tonks could see Mad-eye, Emmeline, Remus and Elphias

"Harry?" Emmeline flew to Tonks, asking.

"Sturgis and Hestia have him," Tonks replied, feeling short of breath. Behind Emmeline, she saw Mad-Eye, Remus and Elphias approaching on their brooms.

"Damn Death Eaters," Mad-Eye cursed, "Kingsley, inform Albus about this," Tonks turned to him. He looked fine so Tonks searched for Remus but before she could find him within the crowd of Order Members in the sky, the Order began flying back to headquarters. Kingsley then summoned his patronus, sending it with the message.

_At least that's progress…I think, _Tonks gulped, flying after them.

To be continued…

A/N: I hoped you guys liked this chapter! I have honestly no idea when the next update will be but I'll definitely do my best to get it up as soon as I can!

Huge thanks to readers and of course the lovely reviewers of last chapter!  
NyxBorn: I have no idea if that's sarcasm but in case its not, Bellatrix did still have the 'pure blood' mindset going on, so of course she wouldn't want Tonks (whose dad is a muggle) to join the Death Eaters! Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
Divinia Serit: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoy the story and the interaction!  
Yreva13: xD Thanks!  
Hope06: I did have Tonks pictured a little to Harry and this chapter probably did accentuate their common situation both of them are unfortunately in. Thanks so much for the review!


	11. Chapter 11: Compromise

Chapter 11: Compromise

While flying back to Headquarters, and doubling back about 3 times to make sure they weren't being followed, Tonks found Remus flying next to her. As she glanced over to find him there, he was already looking at her. His eyes conveyed what he wanted to ask; _are you alright?  
_  
_Yes, I think. What about you? _Tonks nodded, the most she can convey with body language, horrified as she glimpse the blood caking the right side of his face as they flew under the streetlamps to land.

He didn't see her expression as he looked away upon her nod. They landed and Tonks found herself following behind Emmeline and Elphias, beside Remus.

"Are you alright?" Tonks turned and demanded as they stopped while Mad-Eye got Grimmauld place open.

"I'm fine," Remus replied, his eyes watching her softly.

"Right…" Tonks said sarcastically, finding her fingers already tracing the right side of his face. He froze, staring as her fingers worked up his cheek. The dried blood made his cheek feel rougher than Tonks think it usually would be. As her fingers traveled up his temple, his eyes were already glued to her as hers were to his.

_They were just so distracting._

"Nymphadora, Remus," Mad-Eye barked from the step at Grimmauld Place. Instantly, Tonks dropped her hand from his face. They blinked, looking towards Mad-Eye, who was already limping halfway into Grimmauld Place. The rest of the order members had apparently gone ahead without them.

Sighing, Remus burst into a soft chuckle before walking to the steps of the house, "After you, Nymphadora," he smiled, deliberating on her name, stopping at the bottom of the steps to the open door.

She walked in, "Don't call me Nymphadora," she said, "Both of you!" she shouted down the hall at Mad-Eye's retreating back.

Mad-Eye ignored her as he disappeared into the kitchen. She heard Remus still chuckling softly behind her as he followed her down the hall.

"Watch the umbrella stand," He said, his voice coming off with a smile.

Smiling, Tonks replied, "Shut up," Very deliberately, she made it pass all the obstacles leading to the kitchen.

The moment she entered the kitchen, it was obvious the people in the kitchen had a very different mood from herself and Remus.

Relieved, Tonks noticed Hestia and Sturgis sitting at the far end of the table unharmed but with a grim look on their faces, the same look all the other order members had on their faces at the moment.

"Hestia? Is Harry…" Remus spoke up.

Hestia Jones looked up, forcing a smile, "Harry's fine, he's upstairs. Shaken and a little mad…"

Remus smiled, taking a seat.

"Remus, are you…?" Hestia asked, gesturing at his face.

"Just a cut," Remus sat down, glancing to his side as Tonks sat down beside him, "I'll get it cleaned up after the meeting," Tonks heard him add as Hestia looked like she was about to pursue the matter.

_Bloody Merlin…I touched Remus…I touched him! And he didn't even move away!_Tonks could barely contain her excitement, especially with Remus at this close proximity.

"Dumbledore is on his way," Kingsley said, slipping into the kitchen.

Many of the order members nodded, all showing signs of being anxious and uneasy. After all, who would be relaxed when they'd just been ambushed by Death Eaters and Dementors on a mission to get Harry Potter out of Privet Drive?

Sirius was sitting opposite from Tonks, glaring at the table as if it'd offended him. Mad-Eye was pacing and squeezing the life of his walking stick while his eye swirled in its socket. Kingsley was sitting calmly two seats away from Tonks. Hestia, Emmeline, Elphias and Sturgis was quiet, the latter two talking among themselves. Mundungus was also surprisingly at the meeting, although his demeanor of slouching forward and snoring on the table was very much different from his fellow Order members.

"Snape," Mad-Eye growled a tad earlier as Severus Snape walked into the room, his black robes flowing behind him. Sirius let a low growl escape him.

"Black if you have certain things to say, it'll best for you to spit it out," Snape sneered.

"Oh there are tonnes of things that don't need to be said for everyone to have guessed it, Snape." Sirius growled.

"And that would be?" Snape challenged, raising both brows.

Snape was practically seething in anger, his fists shaking, "You betrayed us!" Sirius jumped up, roaring, "You betrayed Harry!" Tonks sighed, rolling her eyes. She _had_ to find sometime to talk to Sirius, he's having anger management issues but then again, who wouldn't when you're trap in your old hated home.

"Sirius!" Remus stood up, his voice firm.

"You coward!" Sirius yelled, rounding the table to Snape's side.

Tonks glimpse Snape whipping out his wand and instantly, she shot to her feet, her wand in hand as well. She's absolutely not about to allow Snape to harm her cousin.

"Sirius, sit down," Remus grabbed Sirius by his shoulders.

"No! Remus, Snape betrayed us!" Sirius shouted into Lupin's face, shrugging away Lupin's grip on his shoulder.

"Sirius, sit down and wait for Dumbledore-"

"No! You betrayed Harry!" Sirius roared, struggling to get pass Lupin. By this time, Kingsley, Arthur and Bill was already onto Sirius, struggling to restrain him, "You betrayed Lily you coward!"

"Sirius!" Tonks cried as Sirius swung a fist aimlessly, missing Remus's cheek by a hair's breadth. Growling, Tonks yanked Bill away from the fray to get a clear shot.

_Impedimenta! _

Sirius seemed to get the breath knocked out of him as the jinx hit him in the chest.

"Sirius, stop," Tonks growled.

"Tonks, get out of the way, you have no idea what that bastard is capable of!" Sirius roared, "He's a death eater!"

"Sirius… you don't know that." Tonks's voice wavered.

"Death eaters," Sirius hissed that name, "can't be trusted. Anyone who serves Voldemort can't be trusted!"

Tonks froze. _Yes...they can't be trusted. And so am I, in a few weeks time._She looked up to see everyone's eyes on her.

"Tonks, I- That's not what I meant," the anger in Sirius's eyes was gone. He looked at lost as to what to do. Tonks looked down to see Sirius's wand in his hand too. She couldn't recall when he'd take it out.

"I won't betray the Order. Even if I'm serving…Voldemort. We should listen to what Dumbledore has to say," She said, swallowing a lump in her throat, "just…sit down," Tonks muttered.

Slowly, Tonks stowed her wand away, sitting back down and started watch her fingers tangle together. She was vaguely aware as Bill and Arthur took their seats, then Kingsley passed her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her an assuring squeeze before taking his initial seat. Snape was glaring at Sirius but sat down.

The kitchen was then as quiet as it was before Snape walked in. She decided to look up. Sirius was sitting opposite her again, this time with his head in his hands. Snape was sitting a seat away from her, right beside Kingsley. His lips were pursed while he stared at the wall, his arms folded across his chest. Remus was rigid and looking ahead but Tonks could see his eyes glancing at her every now and then. Mad-Eye was standing beside Sirius, staring right at her.

She forced a smile before ducking her head back down. Tonks didn't want to see his expression; from the famous I-told-you-so to the worry and pity, she didn't want to see them on his face. Mad-Eye was never the most sympathetic person she knew but he did worry, for her.

The kitchen was so quiet that for a moment, Tonks could hear the soft conversation and footsteps the children upstairs. Some few years earlier, and she was like them. She was upstairs talking to her friends instead of down here arguing about whether the Order have a traitor in their midst. But it was never her nature to sit back and did Harry have it any easier?

Then the silence was shattered. They heard rushed footsteps before Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid appeared in the doorway, the latter leaning over awkwardly to fit the narrow doorway.

"Alastor?" Dumbledore gestured to Mad-Eye with a wrinkled hand.

"There were 10 of them," Mad-Eye started, "And there were dementors. Looks like they weren't waiting for us. But they were looking."

"For Harry?" Emmeline spoke up when the kitchen was quiet again.

By this time, Sirius was grinding his teeth and glaring at Snape.

"No Emmeline," Dumbledore spoke, "I don't think they were aware Harry is being brought here tonight. Severus,"

"The Dark Lord is getting impatient with the recruitments," Snape started. Tonks could sense his eyes on her but didn't dare to look back, "A few of them are already presented at the Dark Lord's feet by tonight."

Tonks fixed her eyes on Dumbledore, refusing to meet anyone else's stare. The Headmaster clasped his hand together on the table, a serene expression on his face as he thought.

"It would not be advised to keep Nymphadora away from the Dark Lord any longer," Snape said curtly.

"Yes, Severus. But we will not send Nymphadora to Tom," Dumbledore paused, looking to her, "Not until she's ready for it. Until then for your safety, perhaps Remus, if you would try to keep Nymphadora safe? We'll take shift for when you're unavailable."

_Great…another protection duty list…I'm an Auror for Merlin's sake! Why am I being treated like a damsel in distress? _

The meeting continued to touch upon the appearance of the dementors, how to handle the increasing number of death eaters and then followed by arrangement for Harry. Tonks didn't miss her lack of role in the missions. Dumbledore even assigned Mundungus on some Ministry work rather than her!

It was about an hour later till Dumbledore adjourned the meeting. Tonight, it seems more order members stayed.

Tonks stayed where she is as Molly left the kitchen to call the kids down.

"When's the next training?" Tonks turned to Snape who was getting up to leave.

"Tomorrow, 9am." Snape suggested curtly but Tonks thought it sounded more like an order.

_Nope, you're not the boss of me,_ "12," Tonks stated, turning away.

She could feel Snape staring at her, probably angrily but soon, he was already out of the room.

She smiled smugly, before searching the room for anything interesting. Remus was getting up from the place beside her. She reached up, grabbing hold of his sleeve and halting his progress.

"Your head," Tonks reminded as he frowned at her. It looks like he'd vanished the dried blood, revealing a gash which wasn't deep but enough to draw blood, "Do you need help with that?" She probed, feeling her heart jumping erratically in her chest as it always do when Remus's attention is on her.

She watched as his eyes flew from hers to her wand in her other hand before he shrug, "Alright," He sat back down, facing her.

Tonks smirked, noticing his resistance to grimace as she pointed her wand at him, "Don't worry, I can manage basic healing spells."

"Go on," Remus smiled as she placed the tip of her wand just below his wound.

Praying she doesn't do more damage, Tonks muttered a spell that Mad-eye had used on her countless time after wounding her in training. Remus grimaced as the tip of her wand lit, sealing the wound swiftly.

"Done," Tonks sighed inwardly in relief.

"You're good with spells," Remus commented, not bothering to reach for his wound.

"We're eating down in the kitchen," Molly's voice caught both their attention. They looked up in time to see the Weasleys flooding into the kitchen. Sirius was already at the door, probably greeting Harry.

"Hey Tonks!" Ginny called, already coming over.

"Wotcher!" Tonks grinned, waving.

"I'll see you later," Remus murmured, standing to take his leave as she watched. _Yes, you will.  
_

"Tonksie?"

Tonks halted in slipping her robes on.

"Charlie!" She said, surprised.

"Hey," He beamed, "leaving already?" Charlie grinned, glancing at Remus, who was waiting patiently at the door for her.

"Yeah, I really got to get home…" Tonks explained.

"Alright, we haven't talked for a while and I heard from Bill about the meeting updates-"

"I'll be fine Charlie," Tonks interrupted hastily, "Really, don't worry,"

"Promise we'll talk next time?"

"Next time," Tonks confirmed, patting down her robes and went for the door.

"I'm alright if you want to stay longer," Remus said in a low tone as he held the door open for her.

"No," Tonks replied quickly. At Remus's puzzled expression, she continued, "Charlie and I are not exactly…"

"Together?" Remus offered.

"No, we-" Tonks stopped short, finding herself unable to even bring herself to mention it.

"You don't have explain it if you don't want to," Remus placed his hands in his pockets.

With a sigh, she started, "It's not exactly…mutual,"

"He loves you,"

Tonks felt a tingle run down her back at the way his velvet voice says that, "It's that obvious?" She croaked.

Remus laughed quietly beside her, "He looks at you that way,"

"Does he?" She tensed, keeping her face straight forward in case she stumbled, blushed or embarrassed herself by stuttering if she looked at him. Just his voice made her poor legs wobbly.

"He does, like you're the best thing in the world," His voice replied, his tone soft, low and warm.

Tonks couldn't help but blush, the way he said it just made it seem so…intimate…"I care about him as a friend. He's my best friend…" Tonks feels her face burning. _He doesn't make my heart sing, Remus… _

Afterwards, it was quiet. Remus didn't reply to that as they walked. She had no idea when they agreed to walk to her flat; this reminded her eerily of when Charlie decided to confess. However, this was different. Despite the fact that Death Eaters are after her and she's walking home in a dark neighborhood, she felt safe.

"I'm sorry, for dragging you out of order mission like that," Tonks said, turning to him.

"This is a mission," Remus smiled at her.

"A boring one," Tonks grimaced.

"Not really. You're quite the entertainer." His smile reached his eyes, wrinkling the edge of them.

"Not everyone thinks that," Tonks rolled her eyes, promptly turning her hair from pink to purple to green to blue to orange then to brown, like his, "They think its an annoying talent of mine."

He laughed and Tonks thought she'd never heard a sound quite as beautiful in her lifetime.

"Tea?" Tonks asked, disappearing into the small kitchen.

"Sure," She heard his voice coming from the living room.

"It's not much…" She stepped out, holding the cup of tea and a container of biscuits. Remus was standing amidst the mess on the floor; from ministry documents to muggle comic books.

"Enough for supper," Remus smiled, coming over to the table. Tonks placed the tea and biscuit down before whipping out her wand and attempting to make the books stack up like how she'd saw her mother do. All she did was, if it's even possible, to make things messier. A book flew across the room to add to the stack only to nick a photo frame to the floor, where it shattered.

Flustered and cursing, Tonks repaired it before shuffling about to clear the books with her hands, almost instantaneously tripping over the stack of books she'd already painstakingly got up with her wand.

Behind her, she heard Remus laugh again. Despite the splutter of her heart, Tonks spun around, scowling.

He placed his cup of tea down, his wand already in his hand. With a light wave, Tonks found herself in the midst of a major clean-up. Her books flew to a corner in a stack, her papers stacking itself on the buried coffee table, used articles of clothing (thank Merlin that they were nothing personal) flew into the rapidly filling laundry basket. Then her couch rearranged itself to fit the picture of the perfectly neat flat.

"Wow…" was all Tonks could manage after.

"Don't mention it," Remus said, stowing away his wand and sipping at his tea.

"Show-off," Tonks muttered before walking to the table, slumping down in a chair. She'd glimpse the smile he tried to hide with the tea. It was an old trick Tonks tried many times so that definitely didn't hide his amused smile, "I can't master those spells for anything in the world,"

"It isn't that hard," Remus assured, nibbling at a biscuit, "I could teach you if you'd like," He offered.

"Maybe…" Tonks sighed, recalling the times Andromeda gave up on her after trying to teach Tonks to master household spells. Breaking an antique vase when Tonks was trying to get rid of the dust on it was the last time Andromeda ever attempted. Tonks took a biscuit out of the tin, "Tell me about yourself,"

Remus looked up, puzzled.

"Besides the obvious," Tonks added, continuing, "So you went to Hogwarts with Sirius?"

"Yes," Remus nodded, wary as to where this is going.

"What happens every full moon?" Tonks asked.

She saw through the false smile instantly but he replied nonetheless, "Dumbledore made it so I would be able to go to the shrieking shack or to the forbidden forest during that time."

She nodded, prompting him to continue.

"I had wolfsbane, so it wasn't so bad."

"Did you go to the Shrieking shack or the forest?" Tonks asked, her curiosity perked.

Remus smiled, this was genuine, "Shrieking shack at first, then the forest in my later years,"

"Why?"

"Sirius, James-" He paused, "and peter, learnt to be animagus so they could keep me company."

Tonks's eyes widened.

"Then we roamed the forbidden forest whenever we could, of course I had to be in control of myself," His smile faded as he looked at her. Tonks was speechless, unable to find her voice, "I'm sorry,"

"No, its okay" She replied, her voice low and hoarse, "When you're not in control… what happens?"

Remus's lips turned down in a frown, "You really don't want to know,"

"I do," Tonks steeled her voice, staring right at him.

_Yup, that stare works on Remus as it did with anyone else, apart from Mum and Mad-Eye._Remus sighed, "I hurt people. I become a monster." His gaze was fixed on the table.

Tonks found her hands covering his, both of her smaller ones holding one of his, "You're not a monster."

"You don't know what I can do," He looked up, his eyes weary.

_I know you can be incredibly attractive…_Tonks swallowed, "I know you can be incredibly…caring," She stuttered to filter her thoughts from her gob.

Remus chuckled bitterly, "Yes, I do that. To make up for it."

"Remus," Tonks leaned forward, "You are the kindest and most caring man I've met."

"Sometimes, I don't know if it was a dream or it's something I did," Remus started, his voice deadpan, "Then I read the news."

"You can't be sure if it's you…" Tonks squeezed his hand, remembering the many werewolf cases the Auror had to handle after a full moon.

"I can't know if it's not either. It gets blurred," Remus explained, his voice steady, "more often…nowadays." He looked up and into her eyes.

"I can be there, the next full moon," Tonks blurted, her heart pounding as his eye bore into hers. The flecks of silver dancing in his eyes were gone, replaced by a dark cast of despair. As the words left her, his eyes widen with horror.

"No!" He yanked his hand from hers and stood up so quickly Tonks didn't even register it. The chair slid back, grating on the floor loudly in the quiet night.

"Remus-"

"I said no, Nymphadora!" Remus snapped fiercely.

Tonks scowled darkly, his tone uncannily like her father, "You can't stop me," She forced herself to sit, glaring up at him.

Remus stomped over to her side, taking her face in his warm hands fiercely but still gently. Tonks tensed, startled.

"Don't," He bore his eyes into hers, his tone fierce and sharp, commanding for her to obey.

"No," Tonks breathed, "No," she shook her head. Remus pressed his lips together.

"Please…" His brows shot up in apparent distress, "stay away. You have to stay away…"

Tonks's breath hitched in her throat, making her unable to breathe. She'd come to recognise him by his eyes. His plead and desperation hit her down to her middle but her Black bloodline of stubbornness and obnoxiousness pushed against that, resenting that request.

Remus hadn't let go of her, her face still cupped between his hands. He was kneeling in front of her, as if his tone hadn't dug at her heart.

"I should've known better," Remus turned away and to her disappointment, dropped his hands from her face, "Just, stay away," He stood.

"Let me help you," Tonks said though she felt it sounded more like a whimper.

"I should've never told you anything,"

Tonks flinched, hurt. She definitely recognises that one; regret, nothing but regret for everything he'd told her. However, she still did have that 'Black pride', which her dad so often teased her and Andromeda about, to preserve. With a light and less than convincing huff, Tonks turned, stuffing a biscuit in her mouth angrily.

Despite having told of how much she actually resembles her mother, in terms of character and looks, Tonks could never make her anger look intimidating. In fact, she was told her anger made her look childish. Remembering, as a child, Tonks always kicked up a fuss when she was not able to scare people into submission like her mother, only appeased when Ted told her secretly that it was a middle-age thing.

For a moment, no one moved, apart from Tonks's noisy munching on her biscuit. It hurt her mouth to munch like that but she was frustrated at how useless she's become.

Beside her, she heard a sigh before he spoke.

"Did anyone tell you, you look amusing when you're upset?" Remus said, again pulling off a tone so gentle that only he could have gotten it just right.

"Go away," She then folded her arms on the table, placing her head down on her arm, facing away from him. She didn't trust herself to look at him if she was sitting up. Her heart was already racing, no need to make it splutter again.

Tonks didn't understand what's wrong with her. Remus Lupin was not especially handsome and neither was he another accomplished wizard at the Auror Department. But…he is a great wizard, noble, kind, gentle, caring, funny, insanely polite and gentlemanly, mature, dependable-

_Tonks! What in Merlin's name are you doing? You're supposed to be mad at him! Stupid werewolf! Stupid werewolf! Stupid Remus Lupin! Stupid Lupin!_

"Tonks,"

She clamped her mouth shut in indignation. She felt the stir in the wind as he moved but she had no idea where.

"Tonks,"

She tensed, feeling his gentle touch on her knee.

"Nymphadora-"

"Don't call me that!" She shot up like a bullet, the anger threatening to explode. Tonks spun around to glare at him. Remus was sitting on another chair which he seemed to have shifted to be right by her. His lips were curved in a slight amused smile.

In realization to his trick she'd fell for, she felt blood rush to her cheek. Hurriedly, she morphed away her blush, putting on her best glare.

"Can we not talk about that?" Remus started, his voice as cool as a cucumber despite her glare.

"No," She replied, deadpan.

"Alright, then…" Remus thought for a moment, "Let's compromise,"

Tonks bit her lips, "I don't do compromise."

"Yes, yes, the black bloodline has had a tradition for that," Remus laughed and Tonks did her best not to let off a smile, chewing on her lower lip.

"Fine," She finally said grudgingly. _I'm not like the other Blacks! I'm not!_ "What compromise?" She asked warily.

Remus smiled, "You're not allowed to visit me during that time of the month and in return…" He considered his options before speaking. Tonks idly wish she could do that, "I'll do any 3 things which you ask,"

Tonks's senses perked at that. She know a golden opportunity when she hears it, "Sure," She turned, smiling and all ready to comply.

Remus, however, was frowning in puzzlement.

"What?" Tonks asked.

"You answered too quickly, and I'm not done with the conditions on my side of the compromise," Remus replied.

Tonks huffed, frustrated but was all ears.

"Condition number 1," Remus paused, "one of which could not be asking me to allow you to stay with me on a full moon,"

Tonks scowled, that was her plan! _Bollocks…_

He smirked, "That was smart of you, but not smart enough,"

"Hmph," She pouted.

"Condition number 2. You can't…ask me to 'go away'," Tonks didn't miss the catch in his voice as he said it. He looked like he was choking on something.

She nodded slowly to his second condition.

"Condition number 3," Remus deliberated, "You can't ask me to let you tamper with the deal, like making 3 things you can make me do to 4 or a hundred for that matter," He finished, satisfied.

"That sounds appealing," Tonks smirked.

"It's in the condition for 'things you can't ask for'," Remus shrugged and Tonks stuck her tongue out at him, "So…do we have a deal?"

Tonks didn't know if this would work to her favor but the three things she could ask Remus to do seem appealing to her. It could be anything under the sun and surely Remus's three conditions didn't cover all the loopholes, all she has to do is find them, "Alright." She nodded.

"Perfect," Remus smiled. He was sitting hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together.

"First thing to do is…" Tonks's voice trailed off as she thought.

Remus looked alarmed, "You're using it now?"

"Why? Can't I?" Tonks frowned.

He sighed, shaking his head, "Can't you just go to bed?"

Tonks shot him a withering look, which he smiled at, "I'm not a baby,"

"No, you're not."

"But I do need to-" She paused, yawning widely. As she rubbed the water from her eyes, she saw Remus smiling in amusement.

"I'll come back tomorrow," He stood, already arranging the chairs back, "I'm still on a mission y'know,"

Then he headed to the door.

"Goodnight, Tonks," Remus said as he stepped out.

"'night," She said, shutting the door, not waiting for him to leave.

Sighing, Tonks deposited the empty cup in the sink and left the tin of biscuit on the table before collapsing on the couch, fast asleep.

To be continued…

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait! I have been busy nowadays! No promises for when the next chapter will be yet!

Thanks so much to the reviewers and readers of last chapter:_  
_justme667: Thank you! Hope it gets better and better for you!

NyxBorn: It's alright! Sorry I didn't get it! Thanks! Really really glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Well, this story is kinda going AU with the Tonks being requested to join the Death Eaters but no promises yet regarding Tonks's death!

Hope06: Thanks so much!

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**Please leave a review! **


	12. Chapter 12: Captured

Chapter 12: Captured

"Good morning,"

Tonks smiled, "Morning,"

Remus was standing at her door, as always. He was dressed in a shabby brown coat, a faded dark blue buttoned up shirt below it. It was like everyday. Tonks was already beginning to wonder how boring his wardrobe would look, filled with all the dark boring colors.

It was Saturday, means an extended training from Snape. Tonks was not looking forward to it.

It has been about a month since Remus had been assigned to her as her personal bodyguard. Tonks was fine with it, she felt safe with Remus. He was responsible, never ditching on her without informing her first, or never ditching on her ever (of course not considering the full moon).

Everyday, Remus would send her to the floo so she could get to work. When she was done, she'd head to Grimmauld Place with Remus always waiting for her at the usual spot.

This was not unnecessary. More than twice last week, there were various attacks on Order members, not just on Tonks. Dedalus had been cornered by a bunch of them just earlier this week, saved only because he happened to be meeting some of his friends there. It was evident within the Order that Voldemort was getting stronger each day, his recruitments increasing and not all of them are wizards and witches.

It infuriated Tonks that the Ministry still insisted that they had everything under control when she'd witnessed Dementors doing Death Eater's bidding. Furthermore, the minister had even sent Umbridge to Hogwarts. The Auror department threw a small discrete party on the day she left for Hogwarts though many of them sympathize with the students there.

Snape had spent practically everyday he could spare, since they got Harry to Grimmauld Place, training her up. He didn't train her on Dark Arts as they'd want her knowledge of Dark Arts to be as pure as an Auror and Order member would be. However, Tonks was now able to effectively block out any form of legilimacy if she put her mind to it and she was even able to fabricate.

"How's your sleep?" Remus asked, a little more cheerfully this morning. Tonks had also realized his mood changed according to the moon. The last full moon was about 4 days ago and Tonks always looked forward to talking to post-full-moon Remus. In oppose to pre-full-moon Remus who looked downright depressed and tired and weary.

"Good," She replied. They were walking to Grimmauld Place as they always do from her flat; it just meant more time with Remus and less time with Snape. _Why not?_ "And yours?"

"Uneventful," Remus smiled, "Chocolate?" He dug into his coat pocket and offered her one.

"In the morning?" Tonks looked skeptical.

"Sure," Remus shrugged. Tonks took it, beginning to open the wrapper. Tonks found out a lot about Remus these days. His obsession and good taste with chocolate didn't escape her notice. He'd also mentioned his favorite time of the day was dawn and dusk to which the reason was because the sun was the most beautiful at this time; it helped him collect his thoughts.

Remus had been decidedly fun to be around, especially when he let loose some of his younger self. Tonks hadn't forgotten their deal and she'd kept her side of the deal; not to visit Remus on full moon, but she hadn't thought of anything major to use her three requests on him.

"This is good," Tonks said, while munching on the chocolate bar, "You needn't escort me to Grimmauld place y'know. You could just wait for me there,"

Remus had been living in Headquarters for as long as she can remember, keeping Sirius company, being the good friend that he is, "It's fine. And I didn't spend the night there."

"Oh?" Remus had never struck as the flirtatious type, in fact, her heart stung as that thought occurred to her.

"I went back to my house," He said, "the one my parents left me…"

"Ah," Tonks nodded knowingly, recalling the night he told her the story about his parents and about their tragic murder by Death Eaters, "How's Harry?"

Harry has been writing to Sirius, to his delight. It was not approved by some, so this was a secret between Sirius and Remus then Remus and Tonks.

"Bad. Umbridge is giving them a hard time," Remus grimaced, "She's setting up some ridiculous rules there."

"For once, I'm glad I'm out of there." Tonks grinned.

"You never strike me as one who enjoys school," Remus teased.

"I miss the food,"

"Glutton,"

"Concentrate Nymphadora," Snape said curtly.

"Don't call me Nymphadora," Tonks said through gritted teeth.

Then Snape's face paled, leaving Tonks gleeful at succeeding.

Tonks had joyfully spent the last few hours torturing and teasing Snape with various thought and images as he trained her. It has been fun to watch the reactions.

Even Remus, who was watching, managed a small chuckle at Snape's face.

"Alright," Snape straightened out, staring down at her with calculative eyes.

"Yes?" Tonks replied, more to infuriate him than to reply.

"Again,"

Tonks shrugged. It took the effort to fabricate but Tonks was getting better. She hated to admit it, but Snape's quite good at Legilimacy and good at teaching, even if it was the hard way.

Tonks braced herself as Snape raised his wand.

"Legilimens!"

She instantly felt the psychological impact. Snape's intruding hit her hard, inducing a grimace as Tonks struggled to keep up the fabrication or storytelling, which she fondly calls it. Now keeping out Snape was easy, lying was difficult. To top it up, Tonks was never a good liar, or so Remus told her.

Tonks offered several false images. Her arguing with Mad-Eye about using Dark Arts, the vindictive stares she got from various order members, the loyalty she has for Voldemort.

Then she heard Remus laughing quietly by the side. _What is he-_

She gasped feeling Snape intrude her mind, digging deeper and deeper.

"_When the moon approaches, I can feel it. My body sets itself for transformation." Lupin explained_

"_Does it hurt?" She asked him in a small voice_

"_Most of the time." _

"_Sorry," Remus said, his tone soft, "I'm not much fun aren't I?" _

Then it flashed once, Snape practically bashing his way in. It was difficult to stop him now that he was in.

"_Shhh, there now…" Remus whispered. _

"_Sweet dreams,"_

As it halted abruptly, Tonks doubled over on the couch. She gasped for breath. Looking up, she saw that Remus standing by Snape, his hand on Snape's arm.

"Lupin," Snape raised an eyebrow, staring.

Remus made eye contact, replying "You're hurting her," For a moment, Tonks could see the shadow of the wolf on his always calm and gentle face. He dropped his hand from Snape's arm.

"I'm fine," Tonks breathed, leaning over to catch her breath.

"I'll try to go _soft_ next time," Snape sneered. He glanced once at the clock on the wall before striding out the door, slipping pass Remus.

Remus stared after Snape, his expression vacant.

"Thanks…" Tonks murmured.

"Don't mention it," He walked over, "What happened? You were doing great there,"

"I was…distracted," She replied, hoping he wouldn't probe further. Tonks promptly morphed her blush away, "Doesn't matter, I'm ready." She stood.

Later, Tonks found herself at the table in Grimmauld Place. It wasn't an official order meeting but Dumbledore had to discuss a plan for Tonks.

"Severus," Dumbledore inclined his chin as Snape walked in, sitting down a seat away from Tonks, "How's has the training been?"

Snape hesitated, glancing over Tonks, "she can manage,"

Tonks gritted her teeth.

Sirius and Remus were sitting in on this one too, since they were there; both listening quietly.

"Deceiving Lord Voldemort would not be easy task Nymphadora," Dumbledore said, "I urge you to take extreme caution,"

"I will," Tonks nodded.

"Now, Severus, if you could arrange the capture-"

"Professor," Tonks started hesitantly, "Maybe Snape needn't arrange it. All I have to do is walk right into their path, since they've got their eyes on me for a while. Besides, if I messed up…at least Snape would not be implicated. The Order would still have their informant." Tonks pointed it out not missing the fact that both Remus and Sirius stiffen at the mention of her failure.

The Headmaster contemplated before nodding, "Yes, a wise plan. But some death eaters are out to kill. Severus?"

"They will not kill Nymphadora unless it's express orders from the Dark Lord himself,"

_Wow…I must be a big deal…_Tonks mused.

"Alright then," Dumbledore clasped his hand together, "Tomorrow, you'll be captured by the patrolling Death Eaters and from there, Severus will guide you whenever he can,"

Both Snape and Tonks nodded.

"I shall take my leave then. Dolores has a sharp eye for my absence," His eye twinkled behind his half moon spectacles, "Good day to you, Remus, Sirius. Good luck Nymphadora," He patted her shoulder with a wrinkled hand before leaving.

Snape then stood after Dumbledore, leaving likewise without any goodbyes.

Tonks spent the rest of her Saturday with Remus and Sirius. She'd tried to play chess with Sirius but he got drunk and was out in two games of both of them winning one each. Then Remus gladly took over.

By nightfall, Remus had won 6 games over Tonks, who'd won 1.

Tonks was then stuck with drunken Sirius as Remus went to buy them dinner.

Dinner was eaten in silence as both of them avoided talking about her 'mission' which was commencing tomorrow and subsequently.

Tonks didn't miss that Remus looked exceptionally troubled, no doubt worrying for her like he always do for everyone.

Then there was a creak, signifying the opening of Grimmauld Place's old door.

Both Tonks and Remus stiffened, pulling out their wands. Sirius stirred and mumbled, still lying on the table, drooling a little.

Tonks slowly got up, positioning her wand in front of her.

"Charlie!" She gaped, glimpsing him before he drew her into a firm embrace at the doorway to the kitchen.

"I went to your flat but I couldn't find you…" Charlie mumbled.

"Yeah, I've been here," Tonks said, gently prying his grip from around her, "what are you doing here?"

"I heard from Dumbledore…you're leaving? So soon for the mission?"

"Yes, if not tomorrow, when?" Tonks sighed.

"Least of all, you should've let me in on this…" Charlie muttered.

"I'm sorry," Tonks said sheepishly, "It slipped my mind-" The rest of her sentence was cut off as Charlie held her hand. Tonks stiffened, a frown forming across her face and her brows furrowing. She was mildly aware of the tensed atmosphere in the kitchen, "Charlie…we need to talk, upstairs maybe?"

"Yeah, sure," He nodded, turning to lead the way, pulling her by her hand. Glancing back, she saw Remus looking at them, watching her evenly. His face was looking painfully calm which told Tonks for some reason, it was a hoax. Sirius was still sprawled on the table, starting to emit a snore.

He led them into an old bedroom and Tonks shut the door behind her.

"Charlie…" She murmured, prying her hand away from him, "this…isn't going to work,"

His face fell.

"But-" Charlie started, struggling to find the words, "I…what did I do wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," Tonks forced a smile, "it's me alright? I just can't…" She grimaced as Charlie stared at the ground, his face pained.

"Tonks…" He looked up.

"I'm really sorry, Charlie," She adverted his pleading gaze.

He started to nod, "It's fine," His voice whispered out softly, "I understand."

Tonks furrowed her brows, worried.

"Well then, I should be going," Charlie said, "I just came to see you before…"

_You die…_He didn't actually need to finish the sentence for Tonks to hear it.

"Goodbye Tonks," He smiled, forced, "Take care," He slipped pass her, out the door and then, leaving Grimmauld Place.

No matter how much Charlie love her, no matter what he did or say for her, Tonks couldn't find it in herself to love him more than she already did as a friend.

Her mind was already on someone else. Someone whose laughter would make her heart sing, whose voice would make her heart have soft hiccups, whose eyes seem to completely halt her breathing mechanism, whose every action captivated her full attention. Just thinking about it made her heart thump faster than usual-

"Two sickle for your thoughts?"

She spun around. Remus was standing there, leaning against the doorframe.

"Save that for a butterbeer," Tonks replied. Remus laughed.

"Charlie doesn't look too well," Remus commented.

"He doesn't," Tonks agreed, her eyes fixed on him. He left the doorframe, entering the room.

"He's good for you, Tonks," Remus said, his eyes looking into hers.

"He's not who I want…" She replied, looking away. Remus was quiet. A glance told Tonks he was too staring away in a distance, folds forming in between his brows.

"You should…," He cleared his throat a little as his voice came out hoarse, "sleep early," Remus gave her a small smile, "Tomorrow will be a big day,"

"Yes, it will be," Tonks nodded. She'd already decided to sleep over for the night, after all, it could very well be the last time she'll spend with Remus and Sirius, "Good night," She said, walking out of the room, hearing a soft reply from him. Tonks headed for Sirius's room, ridiculously over decorated with Gryffindor colored banners. She found a suitable shirt for her to sleep in and tucked herself in a random guest room which wasn't infested by all sorts of creatures.

As she lay in bed at night, sleep didn't come easy at all. Her brain flipped and turned.

She thought of Mad-Eye first. Mad-Eye, who has been amusing Tonks, seemed to be surlier every time she meet him since Snape started giving her training.

She'd guessed it was something akin to having Severus Snape of all people training his apprentice. He'd never seen eye-to-eye with Snape, ever.

Then she thought of her parents. Andromeda and Ted didn't even know their daughter is in the Order. Tonks knew it'll be safer if they didn't know and it wasn't the first or the last secret she'd be keeping from them.

And Remus…Tonks sighed at that.

_Alright…stop thinking Tonks! Go to sleep. No, you're not going to die… _

Tonks woke up bright and early, when the sun had hardly rose. She idly neatened her hair before heading for the bathroom.

Remus was standing in the hallway, right outside the bathroom.

She'd not expected him to up this early. Tonks blushed, realizing she'd failed to wear something presentable as a bottom but Sirius's shirt effectively covered that.

"Morning," She mumbled.

"Good morning," he replied, gesturing to the closed door, "Occupied."

"Sirius?"

"Vomiting everything he ate," Remus confirmed, an amused smile on his face.

As if on cue, the door flung open to reveal Sirius. His hair was tousled from sleep. Apart from faded pajamas pants, Sirius was dressed in nothing else.

"Hey Tonks," Sirius greeted.

"Wotcher…" she replied warily. Sirius had mood swings when he's sober…who knows what he could be when he's hung-over.

"You look good in my shirt," Sirius grinned. Tonks blushed.

"Shut up," She was suddenly very aware of herself but Remus spared her the extra embarrassment as he gestured to the unoccupied bathroom. Tonks slipped in, still blushing furiously.

"You be careful Cuz," Sirius muttered into her ear as he hugged her.

"I will, you too, keep out of trouble," Tonks nodded.

Then Remus drew her into a gentle embrace. She stopped breathing.

Tonks will never forget this. He was positively skinny but his arms were strong as hugged her around the waist, her own arms thrown around his neck. She placed her cheek on his shoulder, letting out a breath she didn't realise she was holding as she sighed. She felt safe and warm; everything home should be.

"I'll come back," Tonks croaked.

"Please do," Remus whispered into her ear before releasing her. Forcing a smile at both of them, she left.

"Nymphadora," Remus called, his voice wavering. He stood at the doorway of Grimmauld Place, watching her leave, "Be careful,"

"I'll try not to trip," She smirked, walking into the alley to apparate. She glanced back to see Remus still standing there, watching her.

With a sigh, she disappeared from his sight, waving her wand to apparate.

_This is it…_

She apparated right in the midst of London. _Knockturn alley…_ It's dodgy, dark and smells. It seemed right for a Death Eater hang-out spot. Furthermore, it wouldn't be difficult for any Death Eater to spot her since they'd been spying on her and attacking whenever they could; only this time, she wouldn't have Remus with her.

This dark place has always given her the creeps. Her paranoid senses she'd gotten from her mentor was driving her crazy. Her hand twitched endlessly, yearning for her wand but she had to look normal.

She had to walk into Borgin & Burkes and start browsing for furniture…

_Damn you Snape…what an idea… _

Tonks pretended to be interest in the rows of boring furniture. She pulled up the hood to her black cloak as she entered. The shopkeeper seemed to not have noticed her as she browsed.

_Here they come…_

She tensed. Instantly, the windows of the shop shattered. Her training kicking in, Tonks dropped to her stomach just as glass shards from the window pierced the cupboard behind her. She drew her wand, glancing around for the enemy.

Her blood froze as she heard a shrill cackling.

"Nymphie,"

_For Merlin's sake! Don't they have anymore Death Eaters?_

Tonks could hear Bellatrix calling from the door of the store.

"Nymphie, come out come out wherever you are!" Bellatrix shrieked.

Tonks panicked, her breathing come in short sharp rasps.

_Stupefy! _

Bellatrix spun in time to wave aside her spell. It bounded off and smashed the counter.

"There you are," Bellatrix smirked. Plucking her courage, Tonks strode out from behind the furniture, coming in full view of her Aunt. Her breath caught in her throat.

Flanking her were close to 5 Death Eaters.

_Well…faking to be captured won't be difficult…_Tonks thought sullenly.

She ducked as all of them shot various spells at her. A spell grazed her shoulder, splitting the cloth. She ignored it, leaning back as a jet of green narrowly missing her head.

"Don't kill her idiot!" Tonks heard a low sharp hissing.

_Confringo! _

Her curse hit a cabinet. It burst, showering the Death Eaters with shrapnel.

Tonks took her chance, leaping out the window and made a mad dash for the streets.

_They'll catch me anyway…_

And they did. Tonks turned just in time and parried away a jet of white, ducking a cruciatus curse while she's at it.

Her hands were trembling from the fear that she was ashamed to realise she was feeling. Tonks waved her wand to apparate but, as she predicted, was unable to due to the disapparition charm.

"Crucio!" Bellatrix's shrilled voice shouted.

Tonks looked up as the curse hit her, igniting her body on fire. She dropped to the floor, writhing in pain. A cry of agony left her.

Cackling, Bellatrix stopped, towering over her. Tonks glanced around frantically to see the Death Eaters forming a tight circle around her.

"Nighty Night Nymphie!"

Tonks gasped, struggling to get away but she heard a deep voice casting a spell she didn't recognize and her world turned black before she could move.

~:~:~:~:~

_Please…stay away. You have to stay away. _

_Did anyone tell you, you look amusing when you're upset?_

_Nymphadora_

Her eyes snapped open, her body going rigid instinctively.

_Remus…_

It was dark, very dark. Tonks tried to feel her way around but she realized she was lying on the floor, with her hands bounded behind her back. She couldn't feel her wand or find it for that matter. All she felt was the dull throb of her head and her torso where the cruciatus curse had hit and also where she'd hit when she'd fell. _Definitely another bruise…_Tonks thought.

She lifted her head from the cold floor. Her head was heavy and ached. First things first, what good is she going to be lying on the floor like that?

Tonks easily got to her feet with her hands bounded. It tended to be easy when your mentor who trained you for two years like to include obstacles such as bounded hands in his training.

She closed her eyes, not bothering to look into the dark. Instead, she concentrated on listening. Tonks could hear water, dripping from the ceiling probably. She could hear some voices which found their way in wherever she was. Straining her ears, Tonks still couldn't make out what they were saying. She gave up on that.

Tonks then began walking around; wanting to feel how big her little cell is, all the time, her ears pricked for danger.

She walked with her back along the wall, her bounded hands trailing along the damp cold concrete. Once or twice, her toe caught on something, causing her to stumble. She was pretty sure she grazed her forehead and bruised her knee as she fell into a heap on the cold floor.

Tonks jumped as she heard footsteps echoed around her. She opened her eyes, only to still see nothing but the darkness of her stupid cell.

Then she heard the door, _probably a gate_, Tonks didn't have the time to find it, open on its smooth hinges, just creaking slightly.

"Who's there?" Tonks spoke, her voice sounded hoarse. She wished this mysterious person would quickly light his wand so she could see, "Who-"

"Nymphadora,"

She sighed in relief, careful not to make her sigh audible. They are in the enemy's lair after all, "Snape," Tonks replied, making sure she sounded curt.

"The Dark Lord is on his way," He said.

"I'm looking forward to it," Tonks snarled sardonically. _Oh my…Snape must really be rubbing off on me…_"Why are you here?"

Nothing but silence reached her ears.

"Dinner," Snape stated tersely and she heard a soft thud, probably him putting that plate on the wooden ledge she'd felt earlier. She wondered just how long she has been asleep.

"Well, I would've seen it if you'd switch on the lights," Tonks said, sarcastically.

Silence again.

"Hey, answer me!" She snapped.

"Lumos," She heard Snape's voice ring out, loud and clear.

She waited.

Nothing…nothing but darkness.

She would've rubbed her eyes if she could. "I…I can't see," Tonks cried out, her tone positively horrified, "I can't see anything,"

To be continued…

Thanks to the reviewers and readers of last chapter!

_: Glad you like it! Hope this chapter didn't come too late!

Hope06: Thanks so much for the review!

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Please review!


	13. Chapter 13: Test and Torture

Chapter 13: Test and Torture

Tonks choked as she tried to breathe.

She'd come to infiltrate Voldemort's inner circle, having suffered months Snape's training, went through all that mental preparation and now when she was rotting in his dungeon, she is blind!

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Tonks cried, blinking forcefully. She heard Snape muttered a spell, probably an imperturbable charm that prevented her cries from travelling up to uninvited ears.

_I can't see! I can't see to save me life! I can't fend off enemies like this, I can't still be that loyal and capable servant Voldemort wanted, I can't see my parents, I can't see Sirius, I can't see Remus-_

"Calm down," Snape said curtly.

"Calm down…calm down? How can you even ask that?" Tonks cried, hating herself as she felt herself tearing.

"Panicking isn't going to help you either," His cold voice definitely hit the truth.

Tonks took a deep breath, sinking against the wall, "Kill me," She said, to no one in particular.

There was silence as Snape probably started contemplating the idea.

"What's wrong with me?" She demanded, choking on the tears welling up.

She heard Snape whipped up his wand, stirring the wind, muttering some spells under his breath. Tonks felt her eyes warm behind their lids as she closed them. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable but it was when she knew Snape was pointing his wand at her.

"Well?" She asked impatiently as the warmth faded.

"This is temporary," Snape stated.

"Great," Tonks gritted her teeth.

"The Dark Lord would not kill you," Snape said, "Probably Goodwill…"

Tonks reckoned it was him who put her out.

"What happened to me?" Tonks asked, closing her eyes when she still saw nothing.

"Goodwill put you out to bring you here," Snape replied.

"So why did I lose my sight?"

"A concussion,"

"Fix it,"

"It can't be fixed."

"Liar,"

Tonks cursed, set on thinking Snape had purposely wanted her to suffer, reluctant to restore her sight as a revenge for tormenting him during training.

But if Snape didn't want to, there's little she can do about it. She felt her bounding snap and without another word, Tonks heard Snape leave the cell, slamming the gate shut behind him.

She needed to think but it was difficult with the thought of her lose of sight in her mind. She got more and more agitated as she thought. Not only could she not inform the Order members about this, her life was also literally in Snape's hands!

Her hands reached out, feeling the cool surface of the plate Snape had placed on the wooden ledge she'd felt. Gritting her teeth, she threw the plate against the wall, sending its contents to the floor and all over the wall.

Tonks fell into an uneasy and restless sleep.

~:~:~:~:~

She stirred and woke. For a moment, the darkness confused her but then it struck her. She's blind now…

Tonks could hear footsteps. So it was probably the gate opening which woke her up…

"Who's there?" Tonks snapped, her hands roaming around blindly for her wand but as it was when she fell asleep, it wasn't there.

Then she heard a loud cackling. It sent chills down her back.

"Dear Nymphie," Bellatrix mocked, her voice shrill and loud in her cell, "What would Andie say if she knew you were here?"

Tonks gritted her teeth against the urge to rebuke her; there were more important things than defending her mother against her own sister.

"What is it? Are you as dumb as you are blind?" Bellatrix asked, laughing before it stopped abruptly, "Answer me!"

Her body burnt as it had been more often these days. Tonks felt her bones seem to twist in agony, her flesh burning from inside out. By the time it stopped, Tonks was on the floor, her cheek against the cold and damp concrete floor. She didn't know when she'd fell or if she screamed.

"I don't answer to you," Tonks seethed, her body shaking. The darkness of her world was unnerving.

"Now that's not the way to speak to your elders now is it Nymphadora?"

Tonks struggled to get off the floor. She heard rushed footsteps then felt a slap across her cheek. Her head jerked to the side, leaving the skin stinging in pain.

"Where's-" Tonks caught herself in time. _Say that name and you're dead…_"the dark lord? I-"

She didn't finish her sentence and her body burnt again, sending her writhing on the ground. This was worst than death. Her mission seemed so bleak and faraway now…

"Don't you dare to even mention the Dark Lord with that filthy blood traitor mouth of yours," Tonks heard her say just as the pain dimmed, leaving her bones throbbing.

"What would he say-" Tonks braced herself, sitting up. Her sentence was again halted as she felt a soft stir in the wind.

She felt Bellatrix grab a handful of her hair, yanking so her head snapped back. Tonks barely winced, _Mad-eye would be proud…_

"And what would an abomination want with the Dark Lord? What makes you worthy of his presence?" Bellatrix breathed threateningly into her face.

"The fact that he's willing to grant me a quick death," Tonks panted. There was a moment of silence, "I'd bet no one gets that," She allowed a small smirk through her silent prayer that she'd hit a nerve.

"Wretched girl!" Bellatrix shrieked before flinging her to the floor, sending Tonks sprawling. With her training kicking in, Tonks scrambled to her feet quickly. She stood warily towards where she'd thought Bellatrix was at, "Crucio!"

Tonks ducked down. She heard something explode behind her and a stray splinter hit her cheek, leaving a stinging cut. Instantly, Tonks started moving. She recalled the many hours she'd spent avoiding Mad-Eye's attack, trying to put them into good use now. But that was before she couldn't see-

"Crucio!"

Tonks let loose a blood curling scream, the pain intensified from the one before. By the time Bellatrix was done, her body was practically twitching from the pain. It took her a moment to stop twitching and another to collect her thoughts past the dull burning in her body. Bellatrix had left, she'd heard her departure. Tonks felt her body relax. She didn't even realize she'd tensed up.

Tonks inched her way to the wall for support to sit up. This was definitely not going according to plan; whatever it was. Which part of it tells her she was going to get tortured by her deranged aunt?

Bellatrix obviously had a score to settle with her, perhaps pruning the family tree but Tonks knew she had a mission.

She lolled her head back to rest on the concrete, feeling a wave of fatigue wash over her.

_Stick to the plan and constant vigilance and you'll be fine…I hope…_

~:~:~:~:~

The days just got better and better. Peter Pettigrew had apparently been put on duty to bring her meals to her; not Snape, Tonks noted.

If they were lucky, it was because Snape was too 'high ranking' to be taking care of this, if they weren't, Bellatrix, who was apparently in charge, didn't trust Snape to be anywhere near an Order Member.

Her days had not been short of torture. Once or twice, Snape would find his way to get down to her cell to inform her on the update; the Dark Lord probably suddenly felt she wasn't a priority and decide to delay his arrival by a few days. In the meantime, Bellatrix was asked to 'entertain' Tonks.

Tonks could be certain she wasn't entertained. She was impressed and disgusted with Dark Arts which Bellatrix had demonstrated during their torture session; during which her dear aunt had definitely left her mark on Tonks.

Her sight hadn't return but on the last visit, Snape had brought her some potions in the excuse that it was attempts to treat her eyes but to no avail. Tonks hadn't been eating and for a good reason. The food from wherever she is held at, taste worst than leftovers from the house elves dinner.

The creaking of her gate alerted her of another presence.

"Peter?" Tonks called out, already recognizing him by his flustered shuffling footsteps.

"M-move," She felt Peter prod something, probably his wand, in the small of her back as he made her stand.

Tonks gritted her teeth but know resistance was futile. She carefully made her way out of her cell, which she learnt was a dungeon.

Tonks was guided out of her cell. She memorized the route. _Take a left, then a right, then about 20 paces ahead, a left-_

"Pettigrew!" Tonks heard the rough bark of someone she recognized; Roldolphos Lestrange.

She heard a mild squeak from Peter then she heard no more, probably her dear uncle had already put up some dark magic to prevent her eavesdropping on their conversation. Then she heard Peter shuffle off.

"Where are we going?" she demanded as she felt his larger hand wrap around her upper arm, wrenching her in another direction.

"Move it!" He growled, practically dragging her along. Tonks struggled to keep the pace.

"Hey! Answer me!" Tonks snapped, yanking her arm away and stood her ground, "I'm not going anywhere till you do!"

"Yes, you will,"

Tonks's enhanced hearing from her lost of her sight allowed her to register Rodolphos whipping out his wand and before she know it, she was lifted off the ground by magic and floating along.

She began shouted obscenities, making a scene. That tended to bring attention to herself among the death eaters and sometimes, it works in her favor.

Tonks heard the sound of doors opening and before she know it, she was dropped unceremoniously to the ground.

"Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks,"

Her blood froze. She heard his robes stirring the wind around her and she realized he's probably circling her.

"Ah, Bellatrix, you have not been a good host," His sickly smooth voice said.

"My Lord," Bellatrix's shrill voice said sweetly.

"Dear Bella, I need no explanation for your actions," Voldemort continued, "It is a shame, what happened to your sister,"

"I assure you My Lord, she's not been a Black since she married that Mudblood," Bellatrix replied.

Tonks was practically shaking in anger.

"But your sister has done some good," Voldemort said, now from behind her, "she has bore a metamorphagus, a talented witch,"

"My Lord?" Another voice that Tonks didn't recognise said, questioningly polite.

"This is a first, Alecto," _Alecto Carrow…_the brother and sister death eater which the ministry had been after for as long as Tonks could remember, "A metamorphagus born of Black blood, a witch so talented, Alastor Moody's apprentice nonetheless. And her loyalty… one can only imagine the things she can do,"

There were mumbles all around but Tonks assumed they nodded as Voldemort let that matter rest for now.

"No," Tonks heard herself breathe out, "you're wrong,"

For a moment, the room fell into complete silence.

Tonks didn't know what she was doing. This was not the plan but she tire of this. _She wanted to go home…_

Her body was then torn apart again after the umpteenth time. Cruciatus curse… It was used so often on her, Tonks idly wondered how long it would take to kill her or drive her insane, like Frank and Alice Longbottom. It was one thing she could never get use to. She screwed her eyes shut to the pain.

Then again if she was driven insane, she wouldn't remember anything, she wouldn't remember being the Auror, or being the apprentice of Mad-Eye, or being the daughter of Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks, or having a lovely cousin back in Grimmauld place, or Remus. Her life would be gone in a flash.

The curse stopped.

Tonks found herself once again on the floor, her body trembling. She opened her eyes, blinking them.

She saw black. Black tiles which she was lying on. Someone was standing in front of her, a blurred figure. She blinked again, her eyes clearing.

Voldemort was towering over her, his wand straight in her face.

"Get up," He said curtly. She barely registered his words but saw him tossing her something. She couldn't know and want it more.

Based solely on reflexes, Tonks reached up, catching and grasping her wand firmly.

_On your feet lass!_ Mad-Eye's voice, plucked from her memory of his training with her came to her ears.

Tonks got up, intent on following her mentor's directions. They were all she followed for two years of Auror training after all, it wasn't difficult to consent now.

"Good, good," Voldemort's face twisted into a sick smile. Suddenly, his gentle and calmly sadistic expression changed to a fierce one, he lifted his wand.

_Move it! _Mad-Eye barked at her.

Tonks panicked, feeling the adrenaline rush to her head. She ducked. Where she last stood, the spell exploded, sending black tiles all over the room.

She could hear Voldemort laughing in sick pleasure. Tonks gritted her teeth, flinging spells towards him as she ran. They were either too weak or didn't hit its mark. Tonks ducked his spells till she couldn't. She cried out in shock, her leg striking a table that contained an ornament.

As the ornament smashed to the ground, Tonks conjured a shield just in time.

A large fire snake rose from Voldemort's wand. She watched in horror as it slithered towards her, singing the black smooth tiles. She could still hear Voldemort laughing. Tonks instantly strengthened her shield as the snake collided with it.

The heat got through the shield but protected her from most of the damage. Back in her mind, Tonks knew Voldemort was only toying with her.

She broke off the shield, knowing it would only be a matter of time before she became roasted from the heat. The snake lunged, setting the wood of the table on fire as she jumped to her side.

_Avada Kedavra! _

The spell left her mind before she could stop it.

A jet of green light left her wand and towards Voldemort himself. The spell looked stronger than she'd thought it would be. But it looked no more than an annoyance to Lord Voldemort; which he swatted away with his wand impatiently. His red eyes glinted.

"It's in your blood Nymphadora," He hissed, "You have a talent for Dark arts. Only Dark arts can truly let loose the power you already have," He smothered the fiery snake.

"Kill me now," Tonks stopped ducking, standing her ground.

"It'll be a shame," He crooned, "why not let you serve me? Or die resisting,"

"I'd rather die," Tonks seethed. She didn't want to go along with the plan anymore; she wanted to make her own decisions. This is her decision, "I'd rather die than betray the order!" She roared.

With a light flick of his wand, Tonks was thrown back against the wall; she sworn she heard a crack.

"That old man did nothing but brainwashed his minions," Voldemort approached her, "Dark arts make us, wizards and witches, powerful. Only resisting it makes us weak," He spread his arms and behind him, his Death Eaters nodded in agreement.

"No," Tonks muttered, "Being able to resist it makes us powerful," She glared up at him. Instantly, she felt the probe. It was so strong but her guard had been up.

Tonks screamed as the force practically crushed her mind. However, it did everything but invade her mind. Tonks concentrated, knowing a single mistake from her would result in many more consequences to come. But she knew she was fighting a losing battle. Instead of hiding everything, Tonks decide to let the ones less important be seen. It was something she'd learn in the art of fabricating information during her Occlumency lessons.

She saw what Voldemort saw.

Tonks was among the order. The Order Members flashed pass her eyes. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Sirius, Remus, Kingsley, Mad-eye, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Dedalus-

Voldemort seemed to have gotten bored with that. The faces stopped abruptly and she saw Harry.

He was getting home, from the Hogwarts Express…

_No! _

The image stopped abruptly. Then she saw Remus. He was sitting across from her in her flat at her dining table. He was nibbling on a biscuit. They were talking.

Tonks growled, tearing her eyes from Voldemort's.

"Your loyalty you have for the Order is strong," His face twisted in a sick smile.

Tonks didn't have to pretend to be angry, she was. Despite the fact that she'd allowed him to see those things just to make things easier for herself, she couldn't help but feel naked after that episode.

"But you will not be able to resist Dark Arts," Voldemort turned, strolling back to the table of Death Eaters casually, "it's in your blood, as it is in Bellatrix's, and Narcissa…"

Tonks resisted the urge to spit at that. She glimpsed Bellatrix snarling quietly at that statement.

"Wormtail," Voldemort waved lazily. Tonks watched blearily as Pettigrew shuffled from the side. Then she felt him grab her by her arm, hoisting her roughly to her feet. As she rose, Tonks saw Snape.

He was staring at her blankly. Unlike the others, who were leering or not bothering with her altogether. She was then dragged away by Wormtail. Now that she had her sight, she could see her environment.

Apparently, she was in some mansion. The tiles were practically all black and the drapes of curtains for decoration purposes were typical Slytherin green. Expensive ornaments were on display everywhere. She passed a few corridors much like this one before it gradually came to her dungeon.

Her cell was considerably free of rats and grimy dirt. However, it looked as damp and depressing as she'd imagined and felt. She felt Pettigrew pushed her in the cell before closing it with a wave of his wand. Without another word, he went up the steps, looking too afraid to look her in the eye.

Tonks was weary from the damage her body and mind had taken but with her sight back, everything was much more interesting. Plus, Voldemort had miraculously let her keep her wand. She knew better than to try to blast her way out of here but maybe…a patronus.

She bit her lips, selecting a memory for her to use. She settled on the one with Sirius and Remus during her departure. Concentrating hard on it, Tonks whispered her message and the spell. Her ferret slipped out the tip of her wand, looking up at her.

"Go on then," She urged impatiently. Without a backward glance, the ferret disappeared into the walls.

She'd send a message to Remus, keeping it vague about her being alright and him not to worry. She had taken special care of make sure it sounded like she was captured and had not planned her own capture. Tonks slumped down into her corner which she'd taken to sit or sleep at; wringing her fingers in anticipating. Soon, Remus-

Her thoughts were interrupted as the gate creaked open again. Tonks looked up, jumping to her feet, her wand raised.

It was Snape.

He regarded her critically.

"What? The meeting over so soon?" Tonks said sarcastically.

Snape ignored her. His face was still blank as he waved his wand behind him, towards the gate before he spoke, "Sending messages by patronus is not safe here,"

Tonks hissed but didn't say anymore.

"Robes," He tossed the black folded pile of cloth in his hands to her. Tonks caught it neatly.

"If this belongs to dear Aunt Bella, or Aunt Cissy, I rather go naked," Tonks wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Snape ignored her.

"Oh and in case it escapes your notice, I'm not blind anymore," She snarled, losing her patience, and to think she'll need help from him for as long as she's here…

"Pitifully," Snape replied curtly, to her surprise.

"So why are you here?" Tonks asked, dusting the robe out, "Did you spite the Dark Lord?" She smirked.

"Tomorrow, morning in the hall," Snape said, "The Dark Lord wants to see you,"

"More like torture," Tonks muttered grudgingly.

"You are reminded to dress…" Tonks squirmed uncomfortably as his eyes skimmed up and down her body, "appropriately."

Without another word, he left, walking briskly up the steps, the gates crashing shut behind him.

Tonks sighed, looking down at herself. She looked like a mess. She was still wearing the black robes she'd wore on her capture. Underneath, was her favorite bright yellow stripped shirt that was stained with dirt and some blood. _I guess_ _Yellow wasn't really the right color you'd wear to meet the High and mighty Dark Lord… _

She huffed; removing her robes she's wearing and letting them drop to the ground. Without a moment of hesitation, Tonks practically ripped her clothes off, slipping on the new robes.

It was fully black and was not in the least comfortable. The material, as Tonks expected, was expensive. The clothes wrapped around her torso nicely, the neckline a little lower than her personal preference. She was not surprised when she realized this seemed a little too 'Bellatrix' for her taste. Probably some sick minded joke from Voldemort to Tonks; the mutual hate between her and her aunt isn't exactly secret.

With her wand held in her hand, Tonks fell into a fitful sleep.

Her sleep was abruptly interrupted. She jerked awoke, looking around her, glad she could see again. Someone was coming and Tonks couldn't even tell how long she had been asleep; there wasn't even a window to allow lights to flood in.

As usual, Peter was down to fetch her again.

Tonks got to her feet, tired to having the rat grab her to her feet. As expected, he prodded her cautiously with the tip of his wand, urging her to go forward. Tonks know she could probably win a duel against Pettigrew but that would mean that if she didn't kill him, Voldemort would and she was on a mission, is she?

"Where are we going?" Tonks asked lazily, not expecting an answer. And indeed, she didn't get one. They went up a huge flight of stairs and soon, Tonks was faced with a grand closed black door. It was so nicely polished Tonks could see her face in it as Pettigrew raised his hand to knock.

Before he could, the door opened smoothly on its hinges.

Inside, there was a chair at the end of the room but the middle was mainly empty. Voldemort himself was occupying the only chair in the room.

Tonks glanced to see Peter practically cowering under the presence of Lord Voldemort. Deciding that trying to get instructions from him was futile, she swallowed and walked in.

Behind her, the door shut with a small wave of Voldemort's hand, clipping Wormtail in the back as it shut. _Wandless magic…_Tonks noted, gulping.

"Afraid, Nymphadora?" Voldemort spoke, his voice calm, in strong contrast with his blood red eyes.

_Damn…_

Plucking up her courage, Tonks said, "I'm loyal, not fearless,"

"Nobody is fearless," Voldemort rose from his seat, his black robes dragging along, "Not any of my death eaters, not you,"

"Well, we all know there's a fine line between fear and a coward," Tonks replied after he looked expectantly at her.

"So what is your decision?" Voldemort walked till he was standing in front of her.

_It's for the mission. It's for the mission… _

"Not death," She said reluctantly, keeping her voice as neutral as it could be.

"A wise decision," His voice was now crooning again. It made her sick… "Your loyalty however, is questionable,"

_This is the time I've been preparing for… _

Tonks gulped, looking up and keeping eye contact. As she felt him ram all his forces into her mind, she fabricated.

In her time in training with Snape, Tonks learnt that making it up didn't seem as difficult but somehow, if she wasn't skilled enough, she could let out something she didn't want to.

Her hands clenched into fists with the effort, her temples pulsing. Opposite her, Voldemort looked so completely at ease that it was infuriating.

He saw what Snape trained her to see. And he saw _beyond…_

Tonks gasped with the slip.

Snape.

Tonks saw him flash into her mind and Voldemort's….

_No…_She groaned inwardly as she felt the retreat. She'd done the fabrication perfectly… everything was perfect but that slip!

She grinded her teeth as the Dark Lord looked contemplative of what he saw.

"Severus," Voldemort's silky voice said. Tonks cringed at the name, "Severus Snape."

She stood her ground as he circled her once.

Tonks spoke, "My lord?" She wanted to scorgify her mouth right now….

He looked at her, his eyes boring into hers but with no mind intrusion this time.

"I will train you, in Dark Arts, myself," Voldemort narrowed his eyes.

"Yes…my Lord," She nodded stiffly, wondering if she should bow.

Suddenly, she felt a searing pain in her middle and she doubled over to the floor, screaming in agony.

To be continued…

Hello out there! Hope this didn't come too late!

Thanks so much to all my readers and especially the reviewers out there!

2lazee2login: I'm glad you love the plot! I'm not really good at writing the death eater's plot there but please point out if I went overboard or anything! Thanks for reviewing!

LadyOblivious: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Tonks will be a huge part in here and I have many more things in line for her! I can't believe JKR didn't explore the character of Tonks who had so much potential given her family background and her skills. Thanks for the review!

justme667: Thanks! Hope this isn't too late!

NyxBorn: … I can only say, keep reading!

Hope06: Yup, this will be long ride for her and throughout the story, this plot of her ending up with the death eaters will of course continue. Hope I didn't spoil anything! Thanks for reviewing!

PLEASE REVIEW FOR THIS CHAPTER!


	14. Chapter 14: Not Okay

Chapter 14: Not okay

She was a fast learner but Voldemort wasn't patient enough to watch her learn. Her 'lessons' were becoming more of a do-it-on-the-first-try-or-suffer. Tonks was even beginning to miss Mad-Eye's lessons…

Impressive enough, none of Voldemort's lessons ruin her attire. It was creased from her writhing on the floor but other than that, it was not burnt and blood was never drawn. It was 'the power of Dark Arts' as the Dark Lord had claimed. Every spell she muttered, Tonks hated herself for that but her wand seemed to be reacting well to the change to the 'dark side'. If she did it right, the spell wouldn't come out as a whimper. Sometimes, even Voldemort looked particular impressed in his sick twisted smile.

Her clumsiness, to her surprise, had failed to reveal itself to the dark lord. She's pinned the possibility on the fact that she'd barely moved a single step for her trainings. Clearly, the dark lord only bothered about her skills with casting Dark arts.

Since her first lesson at the Dark Lord's personal 'great hall'—a sick joke on Hogwarts—Tonks had been given her own room. It was huge but she didn't see or feel the luxury. Now, she had Peter coming in every morning or night to update her on the schedule of the training if it was altered by some 'pressing matters'. Other than that, Tonks spent her days in her room. She didn't doubt that it would be locked, and probably even heavily guarded from exit by various Dark Arts.

Tonks didn't mind spending time in the room. In her days away from her cell, she realized Bellatrix too lodged in the very same mansion, it was infuriating but thankfully, Bellatrix seemed to have turned a blind eye to her presence at all.

She had been brought robes. All black and a little too royal for her taste; it had an air of the noble house of Black around it. Looking in the mirror, Tonks realized how much she actually fit in it. Her aunts didn't seem at all proud but rather disgusted with her attire. Tonks sat down on the bed rigidly, staring towards the door as she heard footsteps approaching.

"Peter?" She had gotten to address him by his first name and unnerving Pettigrew was quickly becoming a private joke of hers; take it as a revenge in a small way for his friends he betrayed.

"The Dark Lord wishes to see you," He squeaked.

_Of course…what else? _

She rose and strode out with her head held high. The Dark Lord liked it when she held herself high and proud, it reduced her suffering at least so it wasn't in vain.

"My Lord," Tonks bowed as she stood before Lord Voldemort, in his 'great hall' again.

"Please, do away with the formalities Nymphadora," Voldemort said and Tonks looked up to see that sick twisted smile on his face again. It was disturbing, "I have someone for you to meet,"

He gestured to the death eater stationed at the door.

Tonks began praying. _Not Remus or Sirius or Mad-Eye or-_

Her thoughts were cut off as a man, dressed in blue Auror robes, was dragged in by his shackled legs.

Tonks recognized him. Daniel Ruane. He was a few years her senior in the Auror Office and rarely interacted with her but they had at least greeted each other on a few occasion. _Why is he here? What did Voldemort want with him? _

The masked death eater dropped his grip on the man to let his shackled legs fall to the marble with a clank that reverberated around the hall. Voldemort waved again and his inner circle death eaters filed in.

"Daniel Ruane," Voldemort spoke. The man, crumpled in a heap, struggled to look up. Most of his body was covered in burns, gashes and bruises. It was painful to look so Tonks adjusted her gaze slightly over the side so she was staring at the reflection of the lights on the marble, just beside his face.

Ruane looked speechless as he looked up and a moment later, blood drained from his face and he just stared, "You…you-" His voice broke off, going off pitch.

"You- you" Voldemort imitated his stammering in a high pitched mockery. His death eater cackled with laughter.

Voldemort flicked his wand and his body curled up and he screamed his lungs out. Tonks felt chills going down her spine as she fought the urge to help.

"Nymphadora," Voldemort smirked, beckoning for her to come forward. She did as she was told. Ruane remained on the floor twitching for a couple of moments before his brain seemed to register the name. He looked up at her, his eyes flashed with recognition, shock, puzzlement then hope, "Ruane here, is a mudblood," He spat.

Tonks pressed her lips together, knowing what he wanted her to do.

"Being your fellow colleague, I think, you should have the honor of this cleansing ceremony," Voldemort inclined his chin, as if daring her to challenge him.

Tonks hesitated. _What is he asking from her?_ She knew she couldn't get out of this without doing something. She remembered the spells to torture, the ones she'd learn from Lord Voldemort himself. But she also knew the killing curse. _It would be a mercy_, a small voice told her.

_But it's wrong! _Another protested,_ He's innocent! _

There begin to be murmurs among the death eaters who were acting spectators, probably for her test rather than the 'cleansing ceremony'.

She had to do this…

Clenching her fist, Tonks looked towards Voldemort, tearing her eyes from Ruane, "Yes, my Lord. It would be my pleasure," She almost choked on her words before she abruptly cut off. Swiftly, Tonks whipped out her wand, walking towards the middle of the room where Ruane was still squirming on the ground.

"Tonks…" Ruane growled in whatever energy he could muster, "You traitor,"

Something in her snapped at that accusation. Tonks found herself muttering the spells, her wand seemingly moving on its own accord. Ruane's screams filled the room again. She held it for a full five seconds before dropping the spells, already feeling apologetic.

Suddenly, something clattered to Tonks's feet. She looked down to see a wand. Ruane too seemed to notice it. Tonks didn't know what to do. On one hand, Ruane is an Auror and her colleague. On the other, if she intentionally let him survive (not that she knew how), Voldemort would be furious and probably kill her. Even if he didn't, the Auror department would find out about her involvement with Voldemort and she could lose her job (if she hadn't already by being AWOL for so many days) and become a wanted fugitive.

Ruane acted, just as an Auror would and was trained to. He scrambled towards it frantically. As his hands wrapped around the wood, Tonks acted. She heard a crack as the soles of her boots stomped on Ruane's hand. He winced, but didn't cry out. In fury and using his superior strength, he yanked his hand away and Tonks let him. She glanced to see Voldemort watching with a sickened smirk. She had no doubt he had gave Ruane his wand on purpose.

He stumbled back, shooting a spell at her instantly. He looked like a pile of standing bones, clattered in rags that used to be his robes.

Tonks felt a twinge of pity for him but self-preservation came first. She quickly defended herself, conjuring a simple shield which deflected the spell into the wall. Tonks was surprised at how easy it was. Last she remembered, she was not a match for her Senior Aurors, especially one of Ruane's status and that spell didn't look weak at all.

Still caught in surprise, Tonks blocked multiple shots from the appalled Auror easily.

Suddenly, a jet of green light flew to her. _The killing curse! _

Tonks used what she learnt. Muttering the right incantations, she formed a black shield in front of her. It expanded and contracted like a bubble as the killing curse disappeared into it. Concentrating on what she'd learnt, Tonks thought the incantations for the killing curse.

Two jets of green light emerged from the black shield, heading for Ruane. His eyes widened and he dropped to his stomach. The two spells hit the wall, causing two dents.

"Dark Arts…" Ruane hissed. Many Death Eaters laughed. Tonks felt the power practically causing her hand to tremble in anticipation. She knew it was only the beginning of what she was taught and can do. This was why Dark Arts was forbidden. Its formidable power was seductive. Any practitioner would fall to its feet, begging for more power and using it in ways unimaginable.

Mad-Eye had given her the Dark Arts talk much like how Ted Tonks had given her the stranger talk. He'd warned her how dangerous it was and how difficult it was to stop. It was like a drug. He'd also told her, people strong enough could use it however they wanted but others used it for destruction, now Tonks knew why.

She couldn't stop the twisted exhilaration as she saw her stronger spells caused Ruane to practically scramble away so he could live.

Tonks could hear Voldemort laughing behind her. She flicked her wand swiftly; Mad-Eye's training kicking in. The spells shot ahead of Ruane as he ran. As Tonks wanted, the spell missed his face just by less than an inch but he stopped.

Instantly, she followed up with another. _Confringo! _

Ruane was blasted off his feet and into the wall behind him.

"Kill him," Voldemort hissed the order from behind her. Tonks glanced back. Everyone was watching her, even her wand seemed to be twitching in anticipation from the sheer power it knew it would unleash.

_She knew the spell. _

"Tonks," Ruane scrambled to a sitting position, wincing as his wounds tore. His eyes were pleading as she advanced on him, buying time for her head to think, "Tonks, don't."

Tonks strode forward, deliberately slow. To bystanders, she'd simply look like a torturing sadist. _She couldn't do it. He-_

"I have a wife, and a child!" He practically shrieked his plea.

_That's what she could have, with…someone. _

"Please! Don't kill me! My child is so young, he needs his father…"

"Do it," Behind her, she heard Voldemort hiss.

_I can't…_

Tonks stopped in front of Ruane, her jaw clenched. She could see the tears welling up in his eyes as he shrieked about his son.

_I won't just be killing Ruane…I'll be killing his family too if I do this… _

Suddenly, Tonks glimpse him raising his wand. Instantly, she did her own spell before he could do his.

_Expeliarmus. _

She heard several chuckles and one distinct cackle as she unleashed, not only not a spell of dark arts but a famous spell that people of the order used.

With Ruane's wand in her hand, she steadied her wand, pointing right between his eyes, "No…Please…" Ruane croaked, his whole body trembling.

_I'm sorry…_

"Avada Kedavra,"

Ruane's body fell forward, his eyes glazed as his face hit the floor.

Tonks closed her eyes, feeling the guilt seep in, burning her chest where her heart used to be. She hated herself for that. She'd never taken a life before, much less a fellow Auror's; an innocent life, one of a loyal husband and a faithful father.

"Well done,"

"Moony?" Sirius snapped.

"What?" Remus replied wearily.

"You look like shit," He shrugged, leaning a little too far back in his chair, a bottle of fire whiskey in his hands.

The order meeting had just ended. Everyone, not in the mood for meals, left instantly. There were a lot of death eaters' sightings but the most prominent news was about Tonks.

Coming from Snape, Remus could practically taste the bitter bile on his tongue.

_They were torturing her… _

It made him furious that no one would see that. Everyone saw what was in front of them; Nymphadora Tonks had just murdered a Muggle-born Auror in cold blood.

Questions with such meaning turned up: what if Tonks had truly turned to You-know-who?

Sirius had jumped up at that, yelling again. Remus blamed it on the extra bottle of fire whiskey he consumed these days.

Kingsley had been faithfully covering up for Tonks at the Auror Office. Dumbledore did that in the Order Meetings against the members of the order but the cold truth stabbed everyone like a knife despite Dumbledore's assurance that the murder was regretfully necessary for Tonks's infiltration.

Snape had agreed to that but no one believed that. Everyone still bore skeptical looks as they walked out of the kitchen.

Remus, on the other hand, didn't know what to say. In rational, there was a possibility Tonks had lost her senses but in his heart, he knew Nymphadora and she was not a traitor. He found himself fighting the urge to get her out of that horrid place. Remus heard the unsaid messages in Snape's reports which now circulate around Nymphadora.

She was suffering there.

Remus almost had a panic attack when he heard she was blind upon arrival. Snape's assurance that it would be temporary sank to that back of his mind and so did Dumbledore's request for Snape's assistance in that matter didn't lessen his urge to do foil the mission. Every day his heart convulsed and stuttered in fear for her.

Then news came that she had regain her sight but Voldemort had unexpectedly began to train her in Dark Arts. Mad-eye fumed at that but said no more, probably knowing it would be futile to object to that.

The full moon came and went during this time, Remus forgot when but had been diligently taking his wolfsbane which Sirius had sponsored in return for Remus doing the chores in the house when Molly's absent; it was the only way Remus was willing to take something from Sirius.

Remus rushed up to the attic as his bones throbbed, warning him of the imminent change while he was busy thinking in the library. The rest was blurred, the next morning having been pelted by curses from Sirius of a bad night due to a certain wolf mournful howls.

Remus missed her. She was not difficult to miss. Nymphadora (Merlin-forbids he call her Tonks) was lively, funny, adorable even… she made him happy. It was easy to forget what he was around her; something that is a danger for her.

"I'm hungry," Sirius hinted, breaking his train of thoughts.

"And?" Remus leaned back in his chair, not breaking his gaze on the table.

"What do you mean '_and_'?" Sirius demanded.

"Later," Remus brushed him off, not in the mood to cook but Sirius didn't seem to be in the mood to remain hungry. Sighing, Remus tossed him a packet of unopened chocolate. It was Nymphadora's favorite and quickly becoming his. Remus bought 2 one day, one for him and one for her, only remembering she wasn't here to eat it after he'd made the purchase and was thinking how to give it to her. He'd either eaten it or gave it away.

"You've changed the chocolate you ate," Sirius pointed out as he munched. Remus sighed, wishing Sirius hadn't notice.

"People change," Remus replied.

"Or only Nymphadora,"

"She'll smack you for that," Remus felt a small smile on his lips as he said that. Then his mind registered what Sirius said, "What?"

"Either you're a very lonely and nostalgic wolf or you're in love with her," Sirius shrugged.

"It's neither," Remus said, deadpanned. He was good at this and that made Sirius annoyed.

"Make that a wolf in denial,"

"Enough, Padfoot,"

"Remus, you've got to start growing a backbone when it comes to woman,"

Remus lunged, snatching the half eaten chocolate from Sirius.

"Oi!" Sirius barked, attempting to get it back but Remus swiftly vanished it. Before Sirius could say anything more, Remus left the kitchen and headed upstairs. He really didn't need to deal with that right now. Sitting in the library without a book with him, Remus sat staring at the fire, nibbling at a fresh bar of the same chocolate.

_Sirius is wrong. I just missed her, that's all. Who wouldn't?_

Tonks still had the sores from the torture from Bellatrix but she was aware of her sudden rise in position after the death of Ruane.

She was now attending every meeting, especially the one where only all the Death Eaters of the inner circle could attend. Mostly, Tonks was hushed about her opinion, only offering it when asked. Sometimes, she amused the rest, sometimes she impressed them and others, she angered them.

It was so difficult to act. Now Tonks understood why Snape always kept a neutral face.

Voldemort had sessions arranged where he would secretly invade her mind and Tonks would feed him information, pretending she wasn't aware she was being invaded. Other time with the Dark Lord was spent training her skills in Dark Arts; this in particular made her Aunt jealous to no end.

Also, Tonks had participated in various tortures down in the dungeon. The Dark Lord's pleasure attained from this in particular didn't escape her notice. Voldemort had very deliberately highlighted her talent in that aspect, which he pointed out that it could've been inherited from Bellatrix herself; to which, both witches scowled and hissed.

Tonks didn't understand it one bit. Besides the fact that Tonks was a metamorphagus and all those things about her Black bloodline, she was also a half blood. Voldemort was famous for his preference of pure blood witches and wizards. She didn't ask though, knowing she could be reminding him of the fact about her that he hated most. Her curiosity wasn't worth a cruciatus curse moment.

Today, she was due to attend another meeting.

Tonks left her room, shutting the door behind her with her wand. In her time here, Tonks begin to find the need to do things with her wand, it gave her an excuse to keep it in her hand and also accentuate her 'pride' to be a witch.

She entered the room they used for meetings. It consists of a long table with made chairs of high backing. Generally, the whole room screams luxury. Tonks walked pass Nagini, the Dark Lord's personal pet, and sat down beside a masked Death Eater. As he vanished it, she realized it was Yaxley. She recognized him from the wanted posters they printed in the Auror Office.

All the most trusted Death Eaters were all there; including Snape. Most of them were still evidently uncomfortable with her presence; the fact that she still hadn't had the Dark Mark didn't miss their notice.

Tonks listened to the Dark Lord's plan about what to do with Harry. Then the topic shifted to the next plans.

"Nymphadora," Voldemort turned to her, "I would like you to keep surveillance on the Order and our dear Aurors for me,"

Tonks nodded rigidly. This was a fine line she'll be treading on from now on.

It was evident that either Voldemort hadn't trust her yet or he was testing her and sending her to die.

"Bellatrix, I would like you to help Nymphadora master the arts of Occlumency,"

Tonks didn't miss the hiss of protests from her Aunt.

"Yes, my Lord," Bellatrix said despite her objections.

"In your mission, you'll take residence at Spinner's End," Voldemort continued, "Severus would see to the arrangements."

"Yes, my lord," Both Snape and Tonks bowed their heads.

The rest of the meeting was uninteresting to Tonks. It was thick with Voldemort's sick obsession with unnerving his Death Eaters.

The meeting was soon over and Tonks found herself walking the halls with Snape.

"I assume you know your way," Snape said curtly.

"Regrettably," Tonks replied. She's been there once on an Auror mission.

Snape didn't reply as he left the halls, cutting down the stairs.

Tonks went back to her room, packing with her wand. There wasn't much she had with her. So far, this was going too well. She'll be working as spy of the order now but living with Snape. If this goes well, Tonks could return to work and resume her normal life before she was chosen by Voldemort.

She packed everything in a small rucksack, it wasn't worth using the trunk she was provided. She pulled her travelling cloak, again provided for her, over her shoulders.

Tonks left the mansion the way she saw everyone did. The death eaters at the gate stared at her. Her hair was black and long so definitely not eye catching but news of Tonks's joining Voldemort's inner circle spread like wildfire. She was delightfully pleased to hear that the fact that she can take any form unnerved the Death Eaters.

She wasn't faltered by their stares, in fact she strode pass them with her head held high, apparating away once she was out of the anti-apparition wards.

Spinner's end wasn't the most cheerful neighborhood. _Everything is black…_ Tonks was already sick of the color by now.

She knew which house was Snape's, it wasn't difficult. She knocked, pulling the hood of her travelling cloak over her head, concealing as much of her face as she could. The door opened with Snape standing in the doorway. He regarded her very shortly before letting her in.

The house was dodgy and dark. Tonks was surprised there even was a couch.

"Your room," Snape walked to the stairs and started up.

"I won't be staying here permanently." Tonks reminded, following him.

"Of course not," Tonks could hear the sneer in his voice, "only when _absolutely_ necessary,"

She rolled her eyes as he led her into a musty smelling room. It was considerably small but not exactly filthy. She suspected Snape made a point to clean up before she came. There was a bed at the corner of the room, by the window. An empty shelf and a wardrobe at the other side. Basically, all the furniture she needed was there.

"Thanks…" She muttered as she entered. Behind her, she heard Snape close the door and left, giving her the privacy she wanted. Tonks slumped down on the bed, the soft mattress sinking down with her weight. She wondered when the next order meeting was and if it would be safe for her to head to Grimmauld place now, with her re-founded freedom.

She began unpacking the clothes she was given, all black or green, and stowed them away into the wardrobe, after all, she'll only be wearing those when she needed to meet any death eaters formally, and it was only right for her to resume her normal wardrobe with the Order Members and her family.

Tonks took out her wand, "I'm fine and safe now. At Snivelly's house. Expecto Patronum," The beautiful ferret emerged from the tip of her wand and cocked its head before bounding off and disappearing into the wall. She figured, _Remus would want to know. _

After she'd unpack, Tonks decide to explore the house. She wouldn't want to get lost in Snape's house, that's for sure; it was just too embarrassing.

His house was old. The stairs creaked and there were signs of neglect everywhere. The dust collected at the top of the portrait, the wilted plant. She approached the stairs, heading up. There were several rooms she passed but didn't dare barging in, in case Snape was in any of them. Instead, she climbed all the way up.

Tonks found herself in the attic. It was just like the rest of the house, except it looks like no one has been in here for years. Dust had even gathered on the floor, with Tonks leaving footprints among the undisturbed attic. Boxes piled up in the corner. Then her eyes glimpse green.

Curious, Tonks approached the pile of boxes. A green fabric which had caught her eyes was peeking out from the seal of the box. She plucked out her wand and started shifting the boxes so she had access to that particular box. Tonks undid the magical seal easily.

Inside, as expected, was bigger than it looked. Articles of clothing, folded and stacked up at a corner, there were jewellery, books and some photo frames. Tonks reached for the book, coughing as dust flew up to her face. She flipped it open, sitting down on the dusty floor, not bothering if it ruined her black robe.

It was a photo album. There were many pictures that were mainly circled around one woman. She wasn't exactly beautiful. She was thin and sullen looking. Tonks got to the back of the book. It was signed: Eileen Prince.

Tonks slammed the heavy book shut and picked up a photo frame. In it was a mini version of Severus Snape and the woman: Eileen Prince. She had her hand on Snape's shoulder, both looking sullen.

_Guess it's in the family,_ Tonks mused.

She got bored with this box and began looking through the others. She knew this was probably rude but it wasn't in Tonks's nature to stop and consider it.

The other box was filled with papers and more books. She picked one up and opened the already torn open envelope. Pulling out the parchment inside, Tonks realised it's a letter. The hand writing was long and slender, _a girl's_. She glimpsed the name. Lily. _Isn't that Harry's mother? _

"What are you doing in here?"

Tonks turned from her position on the floor. Snape was practically livid with anger in the doorway of the attic. His hands were balled into fists and were shaking, his face was paler and his lips pressed into an angry thin line.

"Nothing, I'm exploring," Tonks shrugged, putting the letter back in the envelope and then stowing it back into the box.

"Get out," He hissed, noticing the letter.

Tonks rolled her eyes, waving her wand and placing the boxes back into their original place, minus some dust, and walked to the door. She stood in front of him, staring as Snape barricade the door with his arm.

"You will not wander up here again," Snape said, his black eyes glaring.

"I'll try," Tonks sneered, it was never in her nature to take orders, "I'm wondering if you want to keep your hand," Her wand twitched threateningly in her hand.

Snape glared, "Now I'm entertaining the idea of having you brought to the Lestrange mansion for a stay,"

Tonks herself was not an angel by now, she was fuming with the threat, "Go ahead," She seethed.

Their eyes locked and glared for a moment before a knock was heard downstairs. They both stiffened but unwilling to break the eye contact. Then Tonks looked away and Snape removed his arm from blocking her way. He spun around and went downstairs to the door, Tonks followed close behind.

Secretly, Tonks's heart pounded at the fact that it could be Remus, since she'd inform him earlier via patronus. Snape opened the door a crack and talked. Tonks couldn't make out what he said from the distance she stood from the door. She tapped her toes impatiently.

Finally Snape opened the door wider.

Mad-Eye stepped in, clad heavily in his travelling cloak, the sound of his walking stick colliding with the wooden floor reverberating around the house

"Mad-Eye!" Tonks blurted, rooted to the spot all of a sudden. Mad-Eye looked the same, but a little more surlier if it was even possible, his magical eye surveying her critically. She bounded forward, throwing her arms around Mad-eye's neck. She felt him stiffen, probably going against all his life morals by patting her on her back; a small gesture to return the hug.

"Anything to tell me lass?" His deep voice rumbled into her ear. Tonks hid a smile as he attempted to come out of his all business facade.

"Yeah, I miss you," Tonks said thickly, feeling the tears coming. She retreated, forcing her tears back as Mad-Eye trained both eyes on her.

Then Mad-Eye turned his magical eye towards Snape, his normal one still on her, "Dumbledore's calling for a meeting, tomorrow afternoon,"

"Then it's nice of you to grace us with your presence just for such news," Snape replied.

Mad-Eye stared, "Nymphadora will be staying at Grimmauld Place for tonight, if your dark lord don't mind,"

It was the first time Mad-Eye have ever sounded anything close to sarcasm, he was normally to the point and direct. For a first time, it worked quite well.

Snape narrowed his eyes and raised his brows, shrugging. And for once, Tonks didn't object to Mad-Eye making the decision for her. At this particular moment, she wanted nothing more than to return to Grimmauld Place. She missed everyone there.

"Come on," Tonks turned, not bothering to go upstairs to gather her belongings, Sirius would probably be so happy he'll provide for everything. She followed Mad-Eye out of the house. For a moment, Tonks felt a pang of guilt. After all, Snape had helped her these days; but his cynical attitude didn't help her express her gratefulness.

"Where to?" Tonks asked, to confirm, as Mad-Eye got ready to apparate.

"Grimmauld Place," he said the reply, evidently impatient with having to repeat himself. Tonks shrugged it away, too happy to bother that she'd disturbed Mad-Eye. They apparated and Tonks practically ran up to Headquarters. The old house had never looked more welcoming in her entire time here.

She reached for the door handle, practically throwing the door open in her excitement. The dark dingy corridor seemed all warm and welcoming. Tonks heard footsteps coming from the kitchen, which had its door closed. Feeling her anticipating filling to it's brim and her heart itching for the stuttering she'd used to dread; she threw the kitchen door open, idly registering the entrance of Mad-Eye through the front door.

"Cuz!" Tonks saw a blur before feeling the choke of a hug from Sirius Black.

"Wotcher!" She felt herself grin, despite the disappointment.

"You're thinner," Sirius examined her at arm's length, his face puckering exaggeratingly; an accusation.

"I'm fine," Tonks replied quickly, not in a mood to wallow in pity.

"What did that no-good Medusa do to you," Sirius narrowed her eyes.

"The normal," Tonks shrugged, unable to keep the grin contained.

"And stop grinning like you're the happiest person in the world, if you're a guy, I would've stripped you down and check for wounds myself," Sirius snapped, "Even if you aren't..." He waggled his brow suggestively.

Tonks slapped him across his cheek playfully and Sirius grinned.

"I _am_ the happiest person in the world," Tonks smiled.

"You look good in black," Sirius said, suddenly serious, "beautiful,"

"Sirius..."

"I mean in the less offensive way possible," He said reassuringly.

Tonks smiled, "Thanks... where's-"

"Upstairs, full moon's tonight," Sirius fought her to it.

Tonks could've slapped herself. She'd completely forgotten!

"I'm going-"

"Oh no you bloody well don't. Moony wouldn't want you to see him like that," He held her by her shoulder, "he received your patronus by the way. He was over the moon, literally."

"Really?" Tonks asked, smiling shyly.

"Yeah, happiest I've seen in more than 15 years before a full moon that is,"

_No,_ a warning from Sirius isn't going to stop her. All she needed with an excuse to get a new set of clothes upstairs and to Remus's room she was creeping to.

Tonks was extra careful. She remembered the time she was told by Remus that a few days before and after the full moon, his senses were the sharpest. Even a slight disturbance could set off the wolf in him. She didn't want that.

Creeping up the stairs successfully, Tonks stopped on the landing to listen for anything. It was so quiet she thought she could hear her own heartbeat. She held her breath and started to take a step after another. Her breath hitched in her throat as her toe caught on a loose floorboard.

Instinctually, she attempted to bring her other foot forward. However, it was a tad too late. She crashed to the ground. Downstairs, Tonks could hear Warbulga Black going off. She cringed to herself; to her clumsiness and to the dull thud to all her wounds.

At the mansion, she had rarely tripped, only doing it on her own feet sometimes on the smooth flat marble floor. The Grimmauld Place was apparently more hazardous for her.

Tonks cursed, her body aching in different places at the wounds she'd sustained. Just as she started to scramble to her feet, she felt an arm encircled her shoulder, another getting a good grip on her arm and hoisted her to her feet firmly but gently.

Her heart skipped two beats and started pounding in her chest too quickly.

"What are you doing up here?" His velvet voice sounded hoarse by her ear and a little too harsh than she remembered.

Tonks hid her cringe pretty well, "I wanted to see you," She looked up, meeting his eyes; which was a dull light blue at the moment. His whole face was so weary, Tonks thought he could collapse on the spot at the moment despite the fact that she could still feel his strong arms around her shoulders, "What?" Tonks asked, her voice coming out as a whisper as she looked into his eyes. She hastily cleared her throat, "Don't you want to see me?" She needed to keep herself talking before she become too mesmerized by his eyes to talk.

"You don't know how good it is, to see you," He smiled a genuine smile, the edges of his eyes crinkling just the way Tonks remembered and liked. She threw her arms around his neck, squeezing it firmly in her arms. She could hear him wincing but his arms wrapped around her waist nonetheless.

Tonks noticed more grey in his brown hair; somewhere in her chest came a pang of something akin to heart ache.

They pulled apart and Remus gentlemanly withdrew his touch on her. Tonks was more adamant with hers; her hands remained locked behind his neck.

"How's full moon been?" She asked casually, reluctantly removing her touch on him as he walked; or rather staggered, into his room. Tonks followed him.

Remus shrugged and Tonks could see that it took all his strength to just do that. He sat onto his bed heavily.

"You're th-"

"thinner," Tonks interrupted, finishing for him, "it tend to happen, there," She forced a smile and if Remus looked sickly, lost and tired earlier, he looked as though he could collapse into a heap and cry now.

She took a step forth, throwing her arms around him for a second time today. It wasn't like she minded the extra hug. In fact, Tonks felt she deserved them after so many days with the almighty Lord Voldemort and his minions, who were less than gentle with her.

"Tonks, no," His voice said, rigid into her ear, "not too close,"

She was hurt but apologetic that she'd caused him pain. Tonks withdrawn, "I'm sorry…I thought you needed a hug…"

"I do," Remus smiled weakly, "but not when-" He paused before continuing, "the creature is so close,"

"Remus…" Tonks murmured, standing in front of him, apparently still in his personal space as she glimpse his jaw clenching and his hands, balling into fists. She was looking at his fists lying on his lap when she saw the ropey scar, peeking out from under his long sleeved shirt. She lunged towards it, "What is that?" She demanded.

"Nothing," Remus's voice sounded strained as he attempted to hide it but she was already gripping his hand firmly in both of hers.

She pushed back the cloth to reveal a long jagged ropey scar on the back of his hand, stretching from just after the wrist to the middle of his forearm.

"What happened?" Tonks's voice came out as a whimper as her fingers traced the scar, it looked half healed. Her eyes recognized a werewolf teeth mark when she saw it; after witnessing quite a number of them on werewolves' victims, "Tell me!" She snapped.

Remus flinched just a slightly before he started explaining in a strained voice, "When we don't get something to eat…" He paused and Tonks gave him all the time he needed, "we find something else to chew on," Remus finished in his casual tone, as if talking about the weather.

"Remus!" Tonks gasped, appalled.

"I'm fine," He muttered, extracting his hand from hers gently.

"No, you're not," This time, she sat down beside him, enveloping his waist in her arms this time, pressing the side of her face near his chest.

"Neither are you," His voice rumbled deep in his chest as he spoke. His fingers trailed a healed scar behind her ear. Tonks wasn't aware when she'd gotten it, though she suspected it was from the time she crashed and positively shattered a wooden table into splinters.

"Remus, I…" She started but couldn't find her strength to end it, instead, she continued into another category altogether, "have you taken your wolfsbane?"

There was a momentary silence before he replied, "Yes,"

"Good," She buried her face into his chest, _no, you liar…you haven't…_

To be continued.

A/N: I'm alive! Sorry for the long delay! I have been out-of-this-world-ly busy with school! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! And I apologise in advance if any mistakes is particularly glaring and annoying, I really rushed this chapter up for you guys whom I hope are still waiting for this!Sidenote: Yes, we finally got a lovely Remus-pov! I hope you enjoyed it! I definitely loved writing the in-denial Remus.

Thank you to those who read and reviewed last chapter!

Nyxborn: Well, I think the answer to what color is Tonks's wearing her hair is in this chapter; black. And yeah, it's only right for her to be in her true form, I think. Afterall, this is an infiltration by her. Andromeda's reaction will not really be addressed till a later time Thanks!

SpencerReidFan89: Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it!

Hope06: Keep reading :p Thanks for reviewing!

Remuslover101: Glad you love it! Thanks!

Justme667: I'm assuming you love cliffhanger Thanks for the review!

LadyOblivious: Yes, it was Glad you hung on to the end! Thank you!

~:~

DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW FOR THIS ONE!


	15. Chapter 15: Howl

Chapter 15: Howl

"Thanks Molly," Tonks murmured as Molly placed a bowl of steaming soup in front of her with a basket of bread.

"Do eat up, Tonks dear," Molly said, her voice warm and thick with care.

Tonks nodded, lowering her head and started digging in. The soup was so good; it warmed her throat and her middle just the way she remembered. She was hungry but also guilty for killing Molly's hopes for her and Charlie. She'd heard from Sirius that Charlie had taken off for Romania, looking positively depressed. Molly hadn't been happy about that but let him go.

"Slow down Tonks," Sirius grinned. Tonks looked up. Remus was looking at her across the table, his eye bags heavier under the light; he looked so fragile and sickly. There was a look in his eyes that Tonks just can't put into words. She smiled at him.

"Good?" Remus asked, his voice hoarse. He'd specially come downstairs to accompany her for dinner. Sirius had looked exceptionally surprised and couldn't stop staring when Remus did so. Tonks had a feeling this was again a first for Remus to even be in the mood and state to come down for dinner just before the full moon.

"Very," She grinned, dipping her head

Remus nodded his head, giving a painful looking smile that came out as a grimace.

Dinner was spent mostly of Tonks wolfing down whatever was placed on her plate which was constant refilled by Molly. Remus spent his dinner eating little and mostly watching her.

Mad-Eye had took off before dinner, saying that he'll inform Dumbledore of Tonks's current lodging; Grimmauld Place instead of Spinner's End. But she reckoned she'll still have to go back there soon, or whenever Voldemort called his Death Eaters through the mark; and Snape would inform her.

As she started working through her 3rd plate of food, Remus stood and she instantly stopped, looking up at him curiously.

"Moon," Remus reminded, forcing another painful smile, "it's not safe for me to stay any longer,"

"Alright, I understand," Tonks nodded. She hurriedly wolfed down the remaining food on her plate as Remus left after murmuring softly to Sirius who nodded.

She finished her food and stood, walking out of the kitchen after Remus. To her surprise, she found him walking towards the main door of Grimmauld Place.

"Remus? Where are you going?" She asked.

He looked visibly shocked as he turned, "No where," Remus murmured, glancing back at her.

"You're not staying her for the night are you?" Tonks snapped.

"No, I am not," He replied, pushing open the door. The sky was lighted in warm orange. She missed the sunset.

"Where are you going?" She followed him out.

"Away, just for the night," Remus shrugged. He looked so frail in the doorway of Grimmauld Place.

"Why?"

"Nymphadora, please," He said witheringly, "Remember, you don't follow me,"

Tonks pressed her lips shut, despite the protest that hung at the edge. She did promise him that, in return for 3 requests she can have.

"Remus," She spoke before he could take another step. Her throat seemed choked up. She knew how cruel she would be for him, "Please stay for the night, you'll get hurt out there…" Tonks saw him glance towards the rapidly disappearing sun, "Please…it's a request. One of the three," Remus flinched and her heart jumped, aching at the sight but there was no regret. It was for his safety.

"Nymphadora,"

"Don't call me that, it's Tonks,"

Remus forced a smile, "Don't do this to me,"

"You promised, the three requests in return for not going out after you,"

"I _would_ do anything for you, I'm not breaking my promise," Remus said, his eyes flashing to the quickly fading light of the setting sun.

"Then I will not be," Tonks shrugged, aware of how cruel and childish she was. She strode forward, slipping her hand in his.

"Nymphadora…Anything, I would do, just not this,"

She glared at the floor. Remus was more stubborn than she'd thought. _Noble prat…_

"Fine," She didn't miss his sigh of relief, "Just promise me, you'll be safe,"

"Yes, I will," Remus looked earnestly at her, "I promise I will be safe,"

Tonks nodded stiffly as he slipped his hand out from hers, lumbering into the alley. _This wasn't right! Being safe would not be in his control once he transformed. Bloody hell…Promise be damned. _

Before she could stop herself, Tonks found herself dashing after Remus. She instantly whipped out her wand, using her apparition detection spell that she'd learn at the Auror training as part of Stealth and Tracking. Knowing the location, Tonks willed an apparition, instantly; she felt the squeeze of an apparition, bringing her to Remus.

Her boots crunched on the dried twigs and leaves on the floor. It was darker than she'd thought. Her heart thumped in her chest, threatening to explode with anxiousness as she tread forward cautiously on the forest floor. Tonks jumped, her wand at the ready as she heard a soft rustling.

Then it occurred to her… _Remus would not be the only wolf out here tonight. _

She cursed as her toe stubbed on a protruding trunk. She managed to balance herself before falling into a heap on the ground. Her blood froze as an owl hooted in a distance.

"Damn it," Tonks muttered, keeping her wand firmly in her hand, "Lumos," Her wand lit up and she hurriedly directed it to the ground, biting her lips and wishing she wouldn't attract attention. She had no idea what she was going to do when she found Remus. Tonks could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead just thinking about meeting him in his 'furry' form.

In the back of her mind, she vaguely heard Mad-Eye barking at her for her recklessness. This was reckless, but Tonks wasn't about to let Remus roam out here alone at night. He had been there for her when she was in the dirt and no matter what happened, she wasn't going to let him down.

The night was shattered with a howl.

Tonks jumped practically a foot into the air, her training tearing at every nerve in her body to run or attack. She urged her legs to walk towards that direction.

Praying that it was Remus, she approached a split in the trees.

"Oh merlin," Tonks breathed quietly. She could see a hunched wolf at the edge of the cliff. The huge full moon was right ahead. Tonks stayed where she was, any closer and she may be dinner.

She could see its fur sticking out in all directions, its shoulder hunched so that its muzzle is touching the ground. Tonks could make out a faint growling in its throat.

Tonks let out a quiet breath, stepping back cautiously. It'll be safer to observe from a distance rather than stand there…

It seemed surreal before her heels crunched on a bunch of dried leaves. Tonks held her breath as the wolf raised its great big head from the ground. It turned and glared at her with yellowy eyes. Her heart seemed to stop as Tonks choked on her attempt to breathe.

"Remus," Tonks choked out, holding her wand out in front of her. She ignored how awfully pathetic it looked as her protection from such a savage hungry wolf. Tonks didn't miss it as its jaw slackened, the wolf practically salivating as it sniffed the air. It stalked forward, away from the Cliffside, regarding her with hungry eyes, "Remus, don't," She managed weakly. Tonks knew she could very well blast him off the edge of the cliff but she couldn't. Her hand trembled at that thought.

It was closer now. Tonks could see the dirt and see the haphazard appearance of its fur. The gleam in its eyes sent shiver down her spine. This was definitely a far cry from the Remus she knew. Of course she'd spent time thinking how Remus would be when he was a werewolf. She'd never seen one personally till now but she'd always imagined him better than this. Its eyes were just disturbing. It was like Remus had completely changed into someone else, or something else.

It lurched at her with a loud snap of its powerful jaws. Tonks glimpsed its fleshy legs bulging as it leaped to her. She dropped to the mud, feeling its fur brush her across the head. Tonks scrambled for cover frantically, her wand still in her hand but she was hesitant to use it.

The wolf growled and snapped its jaws as it landed behind her. Tonks took off, her heart pounding from the adrenaline. The forest floor seemed to be not as dangerous as before as Tonks fled, well aware of the rhythmic and steady footfalls behind her. She wanted to apparate but know she'd splinch if she did so now. Least she could do was make sure she was in the right state mentally.

The forest seemed to be brighter as the clouds shifted to reveal the moon which was, ironically, lighting her way as she fled.

Tonks felt her wounds ache, demanding a stop but she couldn't, not if she wanted to live. She could use her wand but Tonks wasn't sure if the spells she used would kill him and she didn't want that. _Remus was still Remus…_

Her run was cut short as a fallen tree caught her by surprise. Tonks felt her shin scraped on the trunk and she tumbled to the floor. There was a heavier foot falls and Tonks glimpsed the wolf leaping over her, cornering her between the tree and him.

She warily shifted, feeling for her wand. It leaped just as her fingers closed around it. Instantly, the first spell which came to her mind was casted.

A jet of black flashed once, hitting the wolf in the chest in midair making it impossible for it to duck. It let out a yelp and collapsed to the ground. Tonks's heart wrenched, heavy with guilt.

"Oh no," She muttered, frantically getting to her feet and running over to the limpless wolf. As Tonks got closer, she sigh in relieve, spotting the slight rise and fall of its torso. She noticed its muscled and meaty legs, its strong neck and altogether quite a well fed body. It wasn't how she thought Remus would be at all.

In a blur, Tonks glimpsed the wolf leap up, lunging at her. She fumbled for her wand with her left hand whilst defending herself with her right. Tonks felt it raked its long sharp claws at her, splitting her arm. The impact sent her to the ground. She scrambled back, her survival instinct far greater than her pain.

"No, Remus," She said desperately, sliding away. The wolf seemed to not have heard her; instead it stalked forward dangerously, eyes flickering to her bleeding arm. Its tongue lashing out from its formidable jaws to taste the air, "it's me, don't-" It ran forward to its prey. Squeezing her eyes shut, Tonks hunched down.

She heard a whimper before opening her eyes to see two wolves in a fight. All she could clearly see was a thick ball of tangled fur struggling to gain the upper hand over the over. She recognized the one whose fur had a brown tint to it with all the mud in the fur and the second one, the newcomer, whose short grey fur was shaggy but not as filthy as the other. That was all Tonks could see of the other in the blur of the fight.

Tonks scrambled away quietly, her wand in hand. From behind a tree, Tonks cradled her bleeding arm and watched the fight. She winced as the wolf kicked the newcomer viciously in the side of the head with its hind legs. Tonks watched as the grey one fell on its side, winded with the kick. The other loomed above its fallen enemy with a feral growl of an Alpha wolf.

"Remus…no, you wouldn't want to do this…" Tonks muttered, raising her wand and carefully choosing her spell. A jet of red shot from her spell and struck the ground at the feet of the triumphant wolf. It yelped in shock as the ground burst into a flurry of red. It kicked off from the ground and dashing off into the woods. Tonks watched with mixed amusement and relief as it fled. She considered going after him but she wasn't so worried now, knowing Remus wasn't as weak as she'd thought he would be.

She slinked out from the tree, her arm starting to ache agonizingly now that the adrenaline started to seep away. The grey wolf was still lying limply on the ground. Tonks approached her savior, cautiously.

This one looked like a dry twig. Tonks could count the number of ribs it had. Its legs were practically weak stilts, some small amount of decent muscles allowing it to run. It stirred, shaking his head up from the ground, clearing its mind.

"This one's probably wants me for itself…" Tonks mused, backing away, her wand up as the wolf rose.

This wolf had grayish eyes in the dimmer moonlight. It regarded her from its distance, sniffing the air subtlety.

_Doesn't look like it wants to eat me…_Tonks stood her ground. Slowly, it put one foot in front of the other, approaching her. Its demeanor seemed different but Tonks couldn't put a finger on it. It was evident this one was definitely underfed but it didn't seem hungry. She looked into its eyes to see it eyeing her bleeding arm.

"Thank you," She said hesitantly. Tonks saw its ears pricked up at her voice, its eyes flickering to her face. It let out a low rumble in its throat, slinking a little further. She took a slow step forward, her hand reached out. Maybe not all werewolves were bad?

The moment her hand reached out, it snapped its jaws at her.

"Come on," Tonks muttered, taking agonizingly small steps forward. She hadn't gotten rid of the idea that this wolf fit her imaginary wolf-Remus better than the other, "Remus?" She said stupidly.

Its ears pricked again at her voice. Tonks could sense its apprehensiveness as it brought its forepaw forward.

"Remus," She repeated decidedly, taking another step, "You wouldn't hurt me," She added despite knowing it was a pretty good chance the wolf didn't understand her. It inclined its head, sniffing the air and Tonks tensed, gripping her wand in her other hand. Her arm was throbbing and she could very well heal it with the spells she knew but any sudden movement and Remus or not, this wolf would have her for dinner.

It seemed to be regarding her with careful and calculating dark eyes, its body going still as silence took over the forest.

Suddenly, the fur on the back of its neck bristled and the wolf arched its back, letting out a sharp fierce bark. Tonks didn't wait. She turned and ran into the forest, not looking back. She could hear the wolf coming after her. She could almost be sure it was Remus; however not in control he was.

Tonks cradled her arm, trying not to jostle it as much as she could knowing that the blood she bled and left behind would only make her a more enticing meal for Remus right now. Desperately losing her energy to run any more, Tonks grappled on the trunk of the nearest and most dependable looking tree and began climbing. She felt the wolf snap at the toe of her boot just as she left that small notch in the tree.

Beneath, the wolf growled and snapped its jaws at her as Tonks settled herself into the crook of the thick branches. It jumped and clawed at the trunk but was unable to climb the tree or ram it down. She leaned herself back, watching the wolf tackle the tree, frustrated.

Instantly, she took out her wand, muttering the incantation to heal her wound on her arm. The nasty gash began closing itself up, leaving behind a raw shiny scar.

She glanced down the tree to see the wolf giving up. It inclined its head and let out a mournful howl. Shivers ran down her spine at the sound. It didn't saunter away however, and instead, it surprised Tonks when it settled down at the base of the tree. She watched it stretched its body out on the dried leaves, resting its head on its folded paws. The wolf closed its eyes but its ears were pricked for any noise she made.

"Remus, why haven't you had your wolfsbane?" Tonks asked aloud. The wolf beneath lifted its head to look up at her, a deep snort emitting from its throat, "that's not an answer," She accused. It seemed to decide that she wasn't moving and lay its head back down on its paws, "Fine, ignore me, you do that best," She huffed. In a minute, she was chastising herself for talking to Wolf Remus and expecting a reply.

The night was really going to be long and before Tonks knew it, her head lolled back onto the rough bark of the tree and her eyes closed.

* * *

She jumped awake, almost falling off the tree. Tonks frantically grasped onto the branch to regain her balance.

The night was getting really dark and Tonks glanced down to see a heap of fur. Remus was still there. She could see the steady rise and fall of its body as it breathed. It looked sound asleep. Tonks looked up in the sky and know it was going to be dawn soon; the night was always the darkest before sunrise, as the saying goes.

Tonks wanted to get off the tree, sleeping on it was giving her a bad backache. She snapped a thin branch from the tree she was on. Below, the wolf stirred but remained unmoving from its sleep. To further test it, Tonks dropped the branch down. It fell with a soft thud on the leaves a distance away and the wolf still didn't budge.

She knew it could be a trick; a smart one to lure her down, but she needed to leave before Remus returned to his normal self. He would be furious if he wasn't already. Tonks could very well apparate from her position in the tree but her curiosity urged her down from the tree and cautiously approaching the sleeping wolf.

Tonks found the tip of her fingers on the fur of the scrawny werewolf. She can't help but notice how soft and warm the fur was; mildly considering the option of curling up against it but decided not to lose a limb tonight. She could do it next time.

Tonks withdrew her fingers as the wolf jerked in its sleep, its eyes searching underneath its eyelids.

Instantly, she backed a safe distance away and just as the wolf opened its eyes to reveal dark greenish eyes, Tonks apparated away. A crack shattering the quiet night.

* * *

She found herself near Grimmauld Place. Tonks slipped out of the alley, entering the old house. She could hear Sirius snoring from the kitchen and knew he'd fallen asleep, probably drunk.

Upon entering, she was right. In front of Sirius was a bottle of firewhiskey and his head was slumped on the table, his mouth slightly ajar to emit a snore.

"Sirius," Tonks approached him, gently shaking him awake.

A snore stopped short as Sirius sat up blearily, "What?" He looked up at her with half asleep eyes, "Tonks!" His eyes widened.

"Why didn't Remus take his wolfsbane?" She demanded, wanting to get the truth before Remus returned.

Sirius looked at her, shell-shocked.

"Are you shocked that I know or that he didn't take his wolfsbane?" Tonks nudged him viciously in the ribs.

Yelping, Sirius jumped out of his chair, "Oi! Keep your hands to yourself and Moony wouldn't want you knowing that!"

"Moony doesn't know what's good for him," Tonks countered and Sirius didn't seem to have an argument for that, "so why didn't he take his wolfsbane?"

"Tonks…" Sirius sighed.

"Come on Snuffles," Tonks whined, tugging on his sleeve, causing his arm to slip off the edge of the table.

"You're good at that," Sirius shot her a look, "but it won't work," He sang and Tonks smirked. He was evidently trying to convince himself that.

"Come on! Please…" She pouted, looking at him in that endearing manner which her dad always seem to succumb to and the one Mad-Eye always crack a smile or a snort at.

"Oh al-bloody-right!" Sirius shot her a withering look, throwing his hands up in defeat, "Moony can't find the bloody money for nuts and end up brewing his own. Which turned up into Merlin-knows-what! He thinks it would never work so he just had to leave for the night!"

Tonks frowned, upset. That wasn't what she wanted to hear but exactly what she'd anticipated would be the reason. _Poor Remus…_

"What happened to your arm?" Sirius demanded, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"What?" Tonks replied defensively, instantly shifting her arm as discretely out of sight.

"Let me look at that," He lunged and grabbed her by the wrist before she could hop back. Sirius took in the horrid tear in the fabric which was frustratingly in the vague shape of claws marks. Beneath it, however, was nothing but smooth skin, only ruined by an ugly shiny scar. Sirius looked positively sick as he paled.

"Sirius," Tonks mumbled uncomfortably as she twisted her arm out of his grip deftly, just like how Mad-Eye taught her in her training.

"You didn't…" Sirius growled.

"I didn't," Tonks shrugged.

"Blacks didn't have a talent for lying, Nymphie," He snarled.

"Don't call me-"

"It would destroy him!" Sirius barked fiercely as he shot up from his seat. Tonks jumped, taken aback.

"It wasn't him!" Tonks protested, unable to find her rage to fight off Sirius's.

Sirius snorted, "Yeah…right. Because Moony is the most bloody optimistic werewolf ever existed."

"Just, keep your mouth shut," Tonks said in a hushed voice as the door creaked down the hall. Sirius glared at her, "Unless you want the lie you see to kill your best friend," Tonks challenged. If it was even possible, Sirius's glare got more intense before he stomped out into the hall.

Tonks smiled in triumph as she followed him out.

Remus was in the corridor, looking like hell has frozen over. His face was hollow, casting dark and depressing shadows over his eyes especially. The right side of his face still had traces of dirt on them. His hair was disheveled in an endearing manner which made Tonks just want to hug him. His clothes was crumpled and looked like it was hastily pulled over. Every step came with a limp and his joints seem to creak as he winced. Apart from that however, there didn't seem to be traces of blood on him to which Tonks thanked merlin and all the other deities above.

"Hey Moony," Sirius grinned. Tonks'll definitely give him credits for his excellent acting skills, "how's the moonlight?"

Remus grimaced a smile, "back-breaking," Tonks tilted her head around Sirius, smiling. Remus looked appalled as he looked at her, "Tonks?" He blinked.

"Wotcher," She grinned.

"What are you doing here?" His eyes widened in something akin to horror and shame.

"Visiting," Tonks shrugged but Remus was frowning despite how painful she knew it was for him, "You look great," She assured.

"Handsome," Sirius corrected, backing her up.

Remus sighed heavily, his hand holding the wall for support as he continued down the corridor. Both Tonks and Sirius shot forward, "I think I can manage the stairs," Remus said evenly as he took a painful step up. The Blacks stared after him, restraining themselves from helping him.

"He's a proud man," Tonks commented distractedly.

"No, he's just ashamed for you to see him like this. Just like how every man would be," Sirius shrugged.

"I wouldn't judge him," She said.

"He would,"

* * *

"Remus?" Tonks knocked on the door. It was left ajar. She peered in.

"Wait a second," Remus's hoarse voice travelled to her and Tonks instantly withdrew.

"Alright," She replied.

There were a few thuds and one small grunt before the door swung open painfully slow.

"Are you alright?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Remus looked the same, apart from the change of clothes. He was now wearing a simple and very faded cotton jumper and pajamas pants.

"I'm fine," Remus sighed, raking his fingers through his hair and Tonks could see even that simple habit hurt.

"May I come in?" Tonks asked, glancing into the room. Remus frowned but looked behind him before stepping back to let her in, "how was last night?" She sat down on the wooden chair, tilting her body so her arm was well covered.

"Apparently not as bad," Remus furrowed his brows, sitting down gingerly on the bed.

"What do you mean?" Tonks feigned ignorance.

"It's….better than it's supposed to be," He hesitated, a muscle in his jaw jumping as he grinded his teeth together.

He just looked so vulnerable and in pain… Tonks left her chair and found herself sitting by him on the bed. Her unhurt hand flew up and she gently got rid of the small amount of dried mud off his cheek. Remus was sitting so still that Tonks felt like crying out in sheer frustration. She smiled as he leaned into her touch just by a small inch.

"Remus," Tonks started, careful to keep her voice soft. This moment was too fragile for her to destroy, "I was there last night," she blurted. She didn't want them to have any secrets, least of all that one.

He froze, the colour draining from his face in less than a second and his eyes searched her body.

"What…" He croaked. Tonks could only cringe at the tone, so thick with pain of betrayal.

"I was there and you were-"

"A monster," Remus said through his gritted teeth. His hands shot up, grabbing her around the arm firmly, "I told you not to follow me-"

"I'm fine!" Tonks snapped. Remus froze for the second time as he removed his hand from atop her wounded but fixed arm, "You didn't do that," she hurriedly explained, "I promise, you didn't do this to me," Tonks stated firmly, steeling her gaze, knowing it would convince him she was telling the truth.

She'd never seen Remus so vulnerable, the usual guardedness and cautious all gone, replaced with hate and pain. The side he'd hidden away from the eyes of the outside world; the werewolf in him.

"I'm sorry," Remus said, his voice hoarse. He removed his grip on her. His brows furrowed with concentration as he looked away.

"Maybe you should get some rest," Tonks spoke softly, "I'll just leave you alone," she stood.

Unexpectedly, Remus watched as she stood. His brows were furrowed and his eyes held deep emotions which Tonks couldn't comprehend. He reached towards the bedside table and picked up a small container, "Here,"

"What is it?" She asked.

"Balm, for wounds inflicted by werewolf," Remus replied and Tonks didn't miss the disgust.

"Not by this wolf," She took his hand in both of hers instead of the balm, "I'm fine. I know a trick or two to heal these."

Remus's hand lowered and she shot him a smile before turning to leave the room.

She stopped at the door, "And Remus?" He was still sitting at the edge of the bed, still shrouded in despair, "You don't look half as bad as you thought on the full moon," Tonks grinned, not waiting for his reply before slipping out and shutting the door softly.

* * *

There were no windows.

It was the first thing Tonks realized as she sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld, her ears listening for some sort of sound to signify Remus's presence upstairs but so far there were none. She wanted to know the time but due to her excellent ability to lose or break things, she didn't wear a watch; it was a danger hazard to her.

She was getting increasingly impatient, wishing Remus would just come down and start being the old Remus she knew.

"He won't be coming down anytime soon. It takes at least a day," Sirius came into the kitchen.

Tonks looked at her, shooting him an accusing look as if he'd invaded on her.

"And you told him, didn't you?" He sat down in the chair at the head of the table.

"Yes," Tonks inclined her chin and replied, trying not to feel sorry and guilty to doing that.

To her surprise, Sirius just sighed, "Cuz, you don't understand Remus…"

"We can't all stick to the status quo, Sirius," She snapped.

That line seemed to sober him a little more, "Bloody right you are about that," Sirius said bitterly, "compared to the Blacks, we definitely fall short on doing that, by more than a mile,"

Tonks laughed, "Definitely," Then when it subsides, Remus came back into her mind, "You think he'd…" she struggled to find the words.

"come around? He always eventually does. Time is always an issue," Sirius gave her a charming crook smile. Sirius could be charming when he wanted to be. If he wasn't a convicted criminal, Tonks was almost positive that he'll have tons of women on his tail right now, literally.

"Then I shall stay here till he does, shan't I?" Tonks grinned.

"Reckon you could," Sirius smirked, "That would be touching."

"Shut it Sirius," She growled warningly.

"How's that wound Cuz?" He ignored her warning, the smirk never leaving his face, "I tried that once, it never healed properly," Sirius began rolling up his sleeve, as if to emphasize his point.

"It's fine. And I'm fairly sure the wolf that inflicted yours is quite different from mine,"

"Oh really?" Sirius raised both eyebrows, "So you weren't lying when you said that? You weren't just trying to soothe Remus's conscience?"

She slapped his arm, "Git," muttered Tonks beneath Sirius's guffaws.

* * *

Her mind was a haze. She was walking in the forest again. Her senses with heightened and in a distance she heard a howl.

"Remus?" She called, struggling to see through the haze. Then she jumped, feeling a soft touch on her shoulder.

Tonks opened her eyes to see wood. It was pressed up against the side of her face, _definitely a dream…_ She groaned inwardly. Her head ached and her eyes practically closed by itself with fatigue.

"Tonks,"

"Huh?" She replied blearily, registering the touch on her shoulder.

"Nymphadora, wake up,"

To be continued…

Thanks to those who read and reviewed last chapter!

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REMEMBER TO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER AS WELL!


	16. Chapter 16: Work is Easy

Chapter 16: Work is easy

"Nymphadora,"

She felt a larger and stronger hand shook her by her shoulder, "Don't call me Nymphadora," She slurred, sitting up blearily. Rubbing her eyes, she saw a blurry Kingsley Shacklebolt slowly becoming clearer in her vision. He was wearing his usual blue Auror robes. Tonks was suddenly very aware of her attire of the Bellatrix's dress code. She was in full black which was very unlike her, "Did you forget that waking someone from sleep is the rudest thing you can do,"

"How can I forget?" Kingsley smiled, "I never knew,"

"Har-har," Tonks rolled her eyes.

"It's good to have you back," He thumped her on her shoulder lightly, which Tonks probably think was due to the fact that he might be afraid to hit on any soft spot.

"I'm not exactly…back," She forced a smile.

Kingsley forced a smile which looked like a grimace, "Back or not, its time for work," He said grimly, "Scrimgeour do not take kindly to his Aurors being AWOL,"

"What?" Tonks jumped from her seat, neatly stumbling as she tripped on the chair's leg, falling into Kingsley's open arms, "What day is it?" She practically shrieked into the face of her benefactor who'd just prevented her from biting the dust.

"A day for work," Kingsley drawled, "Let's go,"

"W-wait," Tonks stammered as he turned to leave.

"For what?"

"I-I have to get some other robes, I can't turn up in black," Tonks scrambled to an excuse, "the other Auror would find something wrong,"

Kingsley narrowed his eyes and contemplated before nodding, "You don't have the…" He gestured to his inner arm, "Do you?"

"No," Tonks replied instantly when she realized what he was referring to. She began up the stairs.

"Do you even have robes here?" He raised an eyebrow.

"It wouldn't hurt to check," She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant and she turned to run up the stairs. Remus was right when he said she wasn't a good liar, her stomach twisted and squirmed uncomfortably, especially under the observation of people such as Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye Moody, her mum and for some reason she couldn't fathom, Remus Lupin.

Tonks ran straight up the stairs, to Remus's room. She couldn't hear anything from inside as she tiptoed to the door, trying not to trip over anything hazardous. She leaned closer but still couldn't hear anything.

"Can I help you?"

She jumped and spun around, her wand already out and in her hand, "Remus? Why are you out here?" Tonks gaped, lowering her wand instantly. Remus was clad in his pajamas. He looked thin and the lines on his face, which Tonks hadn't noticed were there, seemed deeper now. His expression was downright weary but his eyes were sparkling in the dim light. His hair was tousled. To put it simply, Tonks just wasn't used to seeing Remus in this condition. He was normally properly dressed and neat, not to mention that he was swaying a little, as if he could be blown to the ground at any moment.

"I needed to use the washroom," Remus replied, matter-of-factly, his eyes glistening with tired amusement. Tonks found herself speechless as she hear him speak, so normal, so Remus. His eyes, she'd thought he would never be the same after his whole full moon episode, "I'm sorry, are you here to do your hourly check on me? I'm surprised you didn't come up the past 2 hours,"

Tonks blushed. She had been checking up on him every hour. He'd been so quiet that she, who was waiting downstairs for him, wondered if he was even in his room or if he'd pass out, "I was just-I fell asleep in the kitchen," She blurted.

"You should've found yourself a room if you were staying for the day," Remus smiled, "trailing behind a werewolf all night can be tiring," His smile faltered.

"It wasn't so bad," Tonks smirked, glad they're on more comfortable ground when talking about that now, "But…I've got to be going, back to the ministry. Kingsley said they're expecting me,"

He looked confused before nodding knowingly in realization, "Yes, work, you should get going,"

"Yes, I should," Tonks looked up to see him looking at her, his eyes soft and searching, "Can I do something before I go?"

Remus frowned but shrugged hesitantly. Taking a deep breath, Tonks covered the distance between them quickly and threw her arms around his neck, resting her cheek on his shoulder. She felt him stiffen. Tonks savored the moment before letting go.

"I'd better be going," She said, backing away to the stairs. He nodded, smiling tentatively at her. Without a backward glance, Tonks took off down the stairs, tears stinging her eyes. She hadn't missed that he didn't hug her back; he didn't lay a finger on her.

"No robes here?" Kingsley raised both eyebrows as she came down the stairs.

"No," She replied thickly, shook her head and continued to the door without a moment to lose, getting out of Grimmauld, into the alley and apparating to her flat.

* * *

Work was easy.

Within the first few hours in the Ministry and Tonks realized how popular she was. She was buried under piles of reports left undone; there were even letters that she had to reply to explain her absence. Aside from that, Tonks had lost count of how many times she'd say that she was really ill for the past few days and really couldn't come to work. Aurors and ministry workers alike seemed exceptionally curious about it. According to Kingsley, it was due to a rumor going around the ministry that someone was betraying them.

Putting work aside, Tonks found many owls at the house most of the letters which she'd receive and glanced through were all from Charlie, from Romania. There were also some letters from her colleagues from the Ministry, genuinely concerned when Kingsley covered her up with the fact that she was ill.

"Tonks, I want to see you in my office," Scrimgeour barked as he strode past her cubicle. Tonks looked up from writing a report and rolled her eyes before dragging herself off the chair. She glanced towards Kingsley's cubicle to find him staring after her, much like the other Aurors, but he was looking concerned. He shot her warning look just before she turned the corner to enter Scrimgeour's office and was out of his sight.

The office looked the same from the last time Tonks's entered. Apart from the vase filled with bright flowers at the corner of the room on the table, there was nothing in the room for decoration. She'd thought that probably even the vase has been considered to be used as a weapon against an attack, explaining its presence in Scrimgeour's office. Aurors were queer in that way.

Her boss sat down in the high backed seat, whirling around to face her, "Tonks, would you kindly explain your absence in the past few days?"

"I believe it was only three, excluding the weekends, sir," Tonks cleared her throat, speaking as politely as she could, "I was ill,"

"Ill?" Scrimgeour raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, very." She nodded earnestly.

"Something even can't fix in a few hours?" He didn't hide his skepticism.

"I didn't go to . There wasn't a reason to. I could fix it on my own and I wasn't in any life threatening danger. It was just contagious," Tonks shrugged, her script well memorized.

"I never knew Auror Tonks was a Mediwitch," Scrimgeour said humorlessly.

Tonks resisted to roll her eyes but instead nodded with a smile, "I try,"

He stared and Tonks recognized that look. He was about to try Legillimacy and she was most ready, steeling her gaze. But the probing never came. It was like he was just trying to stare her down. Eventually, Scrimgeour blinked and the probe still never came but Tonks never relaxed.

"Alright then, you may take your leave Auror Tonks," Scrimgeour said, gesturing to the door.

"Yes sir," She replied stiffly, turning to leave the office.

"Oh and one more thing," He called just as she was about to leave, "I couldn't help but notice your gradual growing friendship between Remus Lupin just before the illness," He said and Tonks's hands balled into small fist, knowing exactly what he was getting at, "I just thought you might want to reconsider that route while considering the cause of your illness,"

Tonks gritted her teeth, "Yes sir," She managed before walking out of office before Scrimgeour could intentionally or unintentionally spite her more. _How dare he even suggest that Remus was some sort of contagious disease? He was the kindest man I'd even known in the whole world! This is completely ridiculous!_

"Tonks," She heard Kingsley's deep voice boomed behind her and he placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see him gesturing to the empty cubicle beside her. The walls were trembling along with the chair and table, getting increasingly worst. Realizing that she was doing accidental magic, she unclenched her fists and breathed to calm down.

"Sorry," She sighed.

"Be more careful," Kingsley shot her a look before slipping past and vanishing into his cubicle. She made her way back to her own and sank into the chair.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

She walked briskly to the fireplace at the atrium. Kingsley looked to be leaving too. They exchanged a meaningful look before walking into a fireplace each.

"Meeting?" Tonks enquired in a hushed voice as she walked along the streets. He nodded an affirmative.

"Tonks," Kingsley nudged her with his elbow. She turned to where he was looking. Remus was standing by the brick pillar. He was wearing a coat and a decent shirt underneath, his hair in place. He already looked much better than early this morning, "Go on, I'll see you later," he rumbled in an undertone as Tonks glanced at him.

She nodded, shooting him a quick smile and crossing the streets to Remus. Tonks didn't miss the fact that this was the spot he'd used to wait for her to come off work when he was still working as her bodyguard, before she was trained by Voldemort himself.

"Hello," He greeted in the usual polite tone, giving her a smile which crinkled the edges of his eyes, just the way Tonks loved.

"Did I miss a memo that you're still my bodyguard?" Tonks teased.

Remus didn't drop the earnest façade, which Tonks was beginning to doubt if it was a façade at all, "No, you didn't," He gave a crooked smile, "there wasn't one. And who in the world said I have to be on duty to be standing on this spot?"

"No one," Tonks flushed, looking away to realise that Kingsley had went off, probably back home first then to Grimmauld.

"Nymphadora," Remus started.

"Tonks," She snapped pointedly.

"_Auror _Tonks," He said patronizingly, "May we make a move?" He smiled, gesturing to the alley they used for apparition.

Tonks glared at his lopsided grin, striding past him with her head held up high.

"That's the Black walk, isn't it?" he murmured, earning another killer glare from her. She hadn't realized how much of a teaser he could actually be.

_Two can play at that game…_"Someone seems to be in a good mood," Tonks commented.

"Someone had another to thank for that," He replied fluently, leaving her on the losing end again, struggling to find her bearings at his unexpected reply.

"Apparate," She replied to his expectant expression, as they slipped into an alley.

"Hm," He nodded and she heard a resounding crack, followed closely by the familiar sensation of being squeezed, almost comfortable for Tonks to know that she was apparating. It was much better than being on the spot, an actual presence for others to torment, Tonks realized after being a minion of Voldemort's.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked as they walked towards Grimmauld Place.

"Extremely so," Tonks smirked.

"You just look a little pale," He replied. She didn't bother glancing sideways to see his expression.

"My morph slipped," She blurted, adding some colors to her cheek instantly, "Better?" Tonks could feel his gaze on her and can't help but feel a blush on her cheek.

"A little too much," His reply came with a smile.

* * *

The meeting commenced as usual. Remus was sitting at her right, feeding the stuttering pace of her heart. Snape sat on her left, seeing that there was no where else to sit. Despite the circumstances, Tonks couldn't help but surprised at Snape for sitting where he is. Under normalcy, Snape would've rather stood, just to spite her.

Grimmauld Place was bustling. The table, which normally had a vacant seat or two, was completely filled. There were conjured chairs which were lined up by the side of the narrow kitchen.

Tonks received a few glances and more than a handful of stares, at her face and at her arm, which was inconspicuously covered up by her sleeve. She was wearing her blue Auror robes, which she noticed was now clinging on her thinner form pathetically. For some unfathomable reason, she couldn't bring herself to put on the multi colored jumper she loved and wouldn't have hesitated to wear to work.

There was silence as McGonagall arrived, normally signaling the arrival of Dumbledore himself.

"Albus would be unavailable this evening and the meeting shall now commence," She announced formally. It was quite a turn up. There were new recruitments which Tonks hadn't met.

They discussed various things, leaving Tonks to catch up with the details by Remus. It was only till the point where they discussed Tonks and Snape's mission, which was now somehow interlinked as one mission, that Tonks was filling Remus and the rest of the Order in on the details.

Tonks listened attentively, not letting slip even a word to the words she knew were from Dumbledore himself. It would only mean death or worst. She couldn't help but stare as her Mentor stood, conveying his report in the same gruff and surly tone. She smiled as her stomach did the same uncomfortable but familiar flips as his magical eye did the 360 degree watch on the room.

The meeting went on for about an hour or two before it ended and everyone flooded out of the room.

"News?" Tonks glanced at Snape as both of them remained unmoving in their chairs despite the massive movement in their surrounding.

"Bellatrix especially misses your presence," He replied sardonically, "Training with her will commence tomorrow,"

"That was good to know," She smirked, "she would find when she try to torture me again that I wouldn't be so easy to torture," Tonks'd received the Dark Lord's training after Bellatrix tortured her. Voldemort had evidently allowed Bellatrix to vent her anger on Tonks but he never said anything about fighting back.

"Dark Lord still doubts you," Snape muttered under his breath, just enough for her to hear.

"That is also pleasant news," She replied as calmly as she can manage.

"Especially if it concerns your death," Snape said curtly.

"Oh of course," she turned to face him, her voice laced with sarcasm, "you really _hate _me so much,"

"Its mutual," He shrugged in the frustratingly nonchalant way, "You're highly advised to stay at Spinner's End for tonight. Bellatrix may think it's prudent to personally welcome you," He stood up and practically rushed out of the room. Tonks rolled her eyes, sinking back into her seat. She hadn't realized she'd tensed during that exchange.

"He's getting under your skin," Remus commented. She glanced sideways at him, shrugging.

"You look better than this morning," She smiled.

"I am. Potions tend to help with that," He replied simply.

"Snape helped?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Bill," He shot her withering look, enough to make her laugh. His face cracked into a wide smile. Tonks's laughter stopped when he winced.

"Are you alright?" She gripped his hand which was lying limply on his lap. Tonks felt his larger hand stiffen at her touch but he didn't pull away.

"Stiff, that's all," Remus cringed, his other hand inconspicuously going to his stomach but Tonks saw that.

"Maybe you shouldn't laugh," She grinned.

"Then stop making me,"

* * *

"Be careful," Remus's voice said softly for the umpteenth time as she pulled on her black robe.

"Yes, _Professor_ Lupin," Tonks sighed in exasperation, "I will sleep with my wand."

He chuckled, nodding, "Don't you always?"

"I do not!" She pouted, indignant.

"Don't let Mad-Eye hear that," They both laughed at that. As Tonks's laughter quelled, she looked at him earnestly, hesitating at the door. She wanted to hold his hand but they were stowed away deep into his pockets.

"I'd better be going," She muttered, turning.

"Of course," Remus said behind her. There had been a silent agreement for him not to escort her to Spinner's End. He wasn't in the best condition and revisiting Lily's old home hadn't been appealing to him, "Good night," He said thickly as she stepped out into the night.

"Goodnight," She smiled, walking briskly to the alley and apparating with a soft pop.

Spinner's End looked like a Ghost town at night. The apartments loomed over the streets, shadowing it from the moon. Keeping her head low, Tonks knocked on Snape's apartment. The door flew open.

Snape was wearing his usual attire, staring down at her.

"Ask me anything," Tonks sighed, shrugging.

"Your hair colour on the first detention," He said curtly.

"Lime green," Tonks rolled her eyes as he stepped aside for her to enter. She sank into the couch, feeling fatigue tug at her eyelids, "you remembered," She muttered.

"I don't forget," Snape replied tersely and before she can rebuke that, he was gone; the soft footsteps telling her that he'd went upstairs.

Tonks sighed, _Snape definitely wasn't the best dorm mate someone could have…_She dragged herself off the couch and stumbled her way up the steps, switching the lights off with a flick of her wand. Her room looked untouched. She shut the door and peeled her robes off gingerly. There was a soft spot on her back where Bellatrix had lashed out at her with magic. She let her robes drop to the floor, kicking off her boots, stumbling out of jeans and crawled into bed.

The bed was cold, as the whole house was. She could hear mild footsteps coming from the other room, _probably Snape…_Tonks yawned, pulling the covers over herself, curling up into a ball and falling fast asleep.

* * *

Tonks groaned as light flooded into her eyes, "Turn off the lights!" She complained, pulling the sheets over her head.

"I _might_ consider that," Severus Snape's cold voice hit her like cold water. Her eyes snapped wide open and she sat up.

He was already dressed, his arms folded across his chest. Snape's lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes boring into hers. Tonks glanced around the room. The curtains were open, allowing sunlight to flood into her eyes. She winced, looking away.

"Rise and shine," Snape sneered. _It had a whole different meaning when Snape said it…_Tonks thought sullenly. Her thoughts her interrupted as his eyes glanced down.

She blushed as she took in the room with her clothes strewn across the floor her hasty attempt to change last night. Tonks was also vaguely aware of the fact that she wasn't wearing anything presentable below, thanking the covers.

"Get out," Tonks growled.

Snape shrugged nonchalantly, "You're welcome." He spun around and was out of the room with a slam of the door.

She was still seething as she left the bed, shuffling to the bathroom for a bathe. When she was done, she went back to her room and pulled on a fresh set of robes. She was putting on her favorite necklace that her mum bought her as a reward for her OWLs, when she glimpsed the time on her clock. _8!_

_Bloody hell!_ She tugged on her boots and hopped out of the door while tightening her laces. She's late for her lessons with Bellatrix! Not that Tonks minded about keeping her Aunt waiting but she didn't want to give her another chance to insult her.

She rushed down the stairs to see Snape sitting at the table, reading the prophets while sipping at a cup of coffee. The aroma made her mouth water. He glanced up from the paper as she came down.

"Bellatrix will be late, the Dark Lord wanted to meet her," Snape informed from behind the prophets.

"Thanks…" She muttered. So Snape did do her a favor after all, bothering to wake her up in time for her training. She did owe him one. She bit her bottom lips as the familiar sense of guilt crawled into her chest but her stomach overrode that. It growled and instantly, Tonks went for the door, intent on getting herself some breakfast; entertaining the idea of a morning visit to Grimmauld before training.

"Nymphadora," Snape spoke.

Her insides burned with fury," Don't call me Nymphadora!" She shrieked, spinning around.

Snape ignored her, gesturing to the other cup of coffee on the table with his wand. Tonks hadn't seen that when she'd come down. She glared but the aroma tugged on her legs, guiding her to the table.

"So we're on a first name basis now?" Tonks asked testily. He didn't reply her, flipping a page in the prophets, "Don't mind if I use your first name right?" She challenged, sitting down and mildly checking the cup for poison with her wand. Mad-Eye's training was really coming in handy. She sipped at the drink when the spell told her there wasn't anything suspicious in the coffee, "Severus," She snapped.

He looked up from the papers, raising a brow.

Tonks stared back for a moment before speaking, "where's the training?"

"Lestranges' Mansion," He replied, his black eyes boring into hers.

_Will you be there?_ She wanted to ask but her pride didn't allow her to, instead she nodded, "How long?"

"Depends on how much Bellatrix wants to teach you," He said matter-of-factly, making her feel stupid for asking. She realized men of this age tended to do this do her, apart from Sirius.

"What can she teach which I don't know?" Tonks said, frustrated.

"The art of surviving,"

* * *

Tonks screamed, her bones burning in the sickeningly familiar sensation.

"Get out of my head!" She roared.

She heard Bellatrix screeched in anger, kicking the leg of her chair. Before she could jump of the chair, she felt herself hit the floor with a jarring thud.

Tonks scrambled away from the chair, just before it exploded, its shrapnel raining over her back, and to her feet, her wand in hand.

"Weak! Just like your mother!" Bellatrix shrieked, his wand held loosely in her hand.

Tonks momentarily considered resuming her 'training' but shove that thought aside almost instantly. The so-called 'training' was brutal compared to Snape's. Apart from the probing and that Tonks had to fabricate to pretend she was a rookie, she had to bear the Cruciatus Curse. Bellatrix claimed it was training her to withstand mind invasion even after torture.

"Don't talk about my mother," Tonks warned, clenching her hand around her wand threateningly.

Bellatrix's shrilled laughter echoed around the halls, "Nymphie is standing up for dear Andy now, aren't you all grown up?" She laughed again.

Tonks was shaking with fury; she had had enough of this 'training'. She raised her wand, releasing several spells her way. Bellatrix's eyes widened before she parried, blocked or jumped out of the way of them.

"Wrench!" Bellatrix shrieked, firing spells of her own. The sight of the spells told her she wasn't strong enough to beat her Aunt with Dark arts. Panicking, Tonks jumped out of the way, her cheek singing from the spells as she narrowly ducked one. She landed unceremoniously on her shoulder. Sharp pain jolted its way up her spine as Tonks attempted to get up before her Aunt decide to cook her alive, "Crucio!"

The spell dug into her gut, burning her from inside out, seemingly melting away flesh and crushing bones.

"Lesson 1 Nymphie! Pay attention!"

Tonks could hear the sick cackling over her pain. Crying out wasn't a comfort to the curse anymore, it was a sign of weakness. She gritted her teeth to the pain, writhing silently on the black marble tiles.

The spell mercifully stopped after what seemed like forever. Tonks barely had time to breathe before she felt Bellatrix press the tip of her wand to her neck.

"The Dark Lord favors you but it doesn't give you a privilege," Bellatrix hissed into Tonks' face, "the Dark Lord is mistaken. You're nothing more than the daughter of a filthy mudblood; a half blood not worthy of the Dark Lord's attention,"

"Yes, I am the daughter of Ted Tonks and Andromeda Black, both who are brave enough to fight for what they want. Not weak, and compliant," Tonks breathed, trying to catch her breath, "Not like you."

"Abomination!" Bellatrix screeched into her face before Tonks felt the tip of her wand stab at her neck. Pain surged into her body, so intense that it caused her to convulse as blood seeped out from the wound. She screamed, her neck burning in agony. Her scream broke off in a stutter as Bellatrix yanked her wand away, leaving Tonks to slump to the ground, "Weak," She spat.

Gritting her teeth, Tonks propped herself up on her elbows, her arms trembling with the effort. Tonks could see the edges of Bellatrix's robes, following after its owner's footsteps in graceful waves.

"Something to say?" Bellatrix stopped in front of her, thrusting her face in front of Tonks's. She said nothing, glaring back into her Aunt's eyes, black to black. Bellatrix glanced down all of a sudden, narrowing her eyes as she saw Tonks' wand. She thrust her hand forward but Tonks was faster; she rolled aside, letting Bellatrix's fingers close around nothing but air. Tonks clenched her wand protectively, "you have no rights to perform dark arts. Not with that filthy wand!" Bellatrix spat, shooting spells across the room. It hit its mark, colliding with Tonks square in the chest as she attempted to get away.

The last thing she saw was the black ceiling, the chandelier hanging precariously by a thread over her.

* * *

Tonks jolted awake to the sound of glass against glass.

"Drink," She barely opened her eyes before an odor hit her in the face. Tonks opened her eyes, wrinkling her nose as she saw a cup of black potion under her nose.

"No," Tonks croaked, unable to make her voice work. She glanced up to see Snape on the receiving end of her rejection, his lips pressed into a thin line and his face pale and expressionless.

"I don't think that's a request Nymphadora," Snape said curtly.

"No," Tonks turned away in disgust, her neck aching.

"If you want to survive," Snape grabbed her harshly by the arm, "Bottoms up," He seethed, "I'll have fun informing the order of your death,"

Tonks glared, trying to no avail, to shake off his grip. Not losing her glare, Tonks lifted her head as high as she could, which seemed less than an inch above her before the pain which flared in her neck was too much to bear. She pressed her lips to the glass bitterly. Snape tilted the glass slowly and emptied the bitter and slimy content down Tonks's throat. It took all the determination not to gag at the smell much less not to retch up all she'd drunk.

"What happened?" She spat, tasting the bile on her tongue.

"You failed, the training," Snape replied nonchalantly.

"Must be a big deal," Tonks countered, her words dripping with sarcasm, "If I'll die when I do not drink that potion, why am I up?"

"I lied," He replied simply and left the room, leaving Tonks fuming. She huffed, lying back down in bed. There was a dull ache everywhere. She knew it was probably thanks to Snape that she was alive but his attitude really made it hard for Tonks to swallow. She stared up at the ceiling, dreading the time when the numbing potion wears off. Tonks glanced around to realise that they were at Spinner's End, her room.

Her eyes widening, Tonks pulled aside the blanket and to her relief, she was still in the same clothes, though not the same condition, she was in this morning. Feeling amused and embarrassed at what she'd assume, she blushed, closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep.

"Thanks," She muttered when she heard Snape come in. His silent footsteps were hard to miss in a house of only both of them.

"Bellatrix was merciful," Snape's reply came, a little less rude than usual but still sharp.

She scoffed, feeling her neck ache at that, "you like to lie, don't you?"

"Only to certain gullible people,"

Tonks turned to face him with a huff. He was apparently preparing all the potions, which looked like mountains. She gulped, _oh merlin, be with me…_

"You'll be begging for them when the first potion wears off," Snape muttered.

"What did I do?" She asked warily.

"Scream," His honest reply made her cringe.

"What did I say?" Tonks probed further, determined to find out how much she has exactly embarrassed herself.

He looked up from his potions, raising an eyebrow.

"I want to know…I-" She lowered her gaze.

"That it hurts," Snape shrugged, "that's all people say when Bellatrix is done,"

"I'm not weak," Tonks growled.

"I didn't say you are," He inclined his chin before turning to leave the room.

"Snape," She croaked out before he could. He halted, stopping where he is, "Thank you,"

With a slight nod as an acknowledgement, he left the room without a backward glance.

* * *

Her head felt like she'd been ran over by the Hogwarts express. Tonks groaned, feeling the muscles from her head to toe ache. The pains was coming in waves, hitting her with a pang harder than before. Every action hurt, even breathing.

She glanced into the darkness, to her side to try to glimpse the many potions beside her and identify the numbing potion so she could down the lot in one gulp. Cursing that most of the labels are concealed from view, she grimaced, stretching strenuously to shift and check every bottle. She didn't make pass the third bottle before it slipped pass her aching arm and down to the floor.

The ear piercing shattering of the glass bottle in the quiet and hollowed house was hard to miss and jarring. Tonks cringed, groaning as she shifted to slide back into bed, feeling sharp pain shooting up her back. She lay in bed, wincing at the aches and sighing at the thought of Snape bursting in any moment, asking for a compensation for the potion after killing her ten times over for waking him.

As expected, the door flew open without even a knock and there stood Severus Snape. His lips were pinched into a thin line as he surveyed the room as usual. He had his wand clenched in one hand and the other holding the door. In the dim light, Tonks saw that he was still dressed.

"What is it?" Snape muttered as he walked in, waving his wand and clearing the mess instantly.

Tonks bit her lips, "numbing potion…"

"You could've asked," He replied, leaning over and picking out a particular bottle of potion. Waving his wand, he conjured a glass and poured her the potion. He offered it to her and Tonks glanced at the glass that seemed to stench of relief from this pain. The glass was held at a height which she would use to easily reach seemed like a mile away.

Gritting her teeth against the objections from her muscles she would face, Tonks sat up, reaching for the glass.

"Where does it hurt?" Snape asked tersely.

"Nowhere," She managed to croak as her trembling hands took the glass. Tonks heard a snort as she sipped gratefully at the potion, "Everywhere," She corrected and instantly, the glass was out of her hand, "Potion…" she demanded pathetically, her eyes trained weakly on the potion in his hand.

"No more numbing potion," Snape replied simply, vanishing the glass and the bottle instantly. Ignoring her whine of objection, he stood closer by her bed, "lie back,"

"Why?" Tonks mumbled despite the imaginary pull of her muscles back into to soft mattress.

"Lie back," Snape stared. In the dark, his black iris, ironically seemed to stand out from his pale face, making him even more scary

Reluctant to oblige but unable to take the ache in her muscles, Tonks practically collapsed back into the mattress, she'd never felt more vulnerable in her life….

To be continued…

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed for last chapter!

2lazee2login: Thank you! I'm glad it turned out to be a great balance, I was afraid it would appear too soft and override the danger of werewolves; action isn't my strong suits but I'm happy you enjoyed it!

Nyxborn: but you know Remus… ;) Glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for the review!

Anon: Thank you so much for this review! Glad you love it!

* * *

PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK FOR THIS CHAPTER!


	17. Chapter 17: Facade

Chapter 17: Façade

"What are you doing?" Tonks asked stiffly.

"The Dark arts Bellatrix practise is rare and unique, even among the death eaters…" Snape started, raising his wand and Tonks tensed, nervous at being under the mercy of Severus Snape. He reached out with his left hand, resting it on the crook of her neck to hold her still. Tonks gritted her teeth and stayed still, "this will scar," He informed upon scruntinizing the wound.

"Thought you could fix it," Tonks said through gritted teeth.

Snape looked up from checking her wound, looking her in the eye, "As I've said, the dark arts Bellatrix practise is unique and powerful,"

"So is yours," Tonks countered.

"You've not seen mine," Snape replied simply, bringing his wand to her wound. Tonks listened nervously as he muttered a spell. She couldn't make out what spell it was but soon, the ache in her muscles at her neck faded just a little, "how is it?" His incessant muttering stopped and he removed his wand.

"Better," She replied, impatient for him to get on with the treatment. Without another word, Snape pressed his wand on her arm, muttering the spell. Tonks started wondering idly how long this was going to take… she hoped it wasn't all night…

Days passed, it could've been a week, Tonks didn't keep track. The pain made it seem like forever.

Light was hard to come by in Spinner's end. It was something Tonks had found out in her stay here. She had been in this house for as long as she possibly recall. The aches in her muscles now only came occasionally and Snape had taught her the incantation for the dark magic of his which can ease the pain and improve her condition exponentially. According to his 'prognosis', Snape told her that Bellatrix cursed her. It was a unique curse that set her muscles and nerves into agony at a certain time interval. All the scientific and magical jumbo was lost on Tonks as she'd fell asleep then.

Kingsley was informed that she was unavailable for work by owl but Tonks made sure to keep the details vivid, leaving out the part about her being injured. The last thing she wanted was the whole order to come up to visit her with the risk of any of the Death Eaters seeing them too close to the Order; even if they are technically supposed to be spies for the Order.

Snape had been in and out of his house often too, going off for Order meeting to which Tonks didn't seem to deem herself fit enough to show up for. She even took a few minutes to crawl down the steps from her bedroom to the kitchen. He also had to go for lessons at Hogwarts as well since school has already reopened. Tonks hated to admit it but it was definitely better that Snape comes back at night than if she had to spend the night in his house alone. She swore there were sounds that this house could make on its own.

She'd made herself a cup of chocolate, struggling to remember how Remus made them. Just as she was looking for some sugar, she realized Snape didn't have any…

Sighing, Tonks drank her chocolate without any sugar. She cringed at the bitter taste. She walked gingerly to the window, glancing out through the small gap in the curtains. The houses were all black and there was barely sunlight coming in but kids were everywhere; riding their bicycles, playing ball_...Muggles…_She realized as their mother shouted out to them from across the street. Instantly, she stepped away from the window as the mother looked up towards her direction.

Tonks was limping to the couch as she heard soft footsteps at the main door. Cautious, Tonks drew out her wand from her pockets, attempting to stand but the muscles at her neck decides to give her a soft throb at this point in time. Giving up on the attempt to stand up, Tonks settled to sit on the couch with her wand pointed at the door. There was a soft knock, which surprised Tonks. She's expected Snape to come straight in…

Whoever it was knocked again, Tonks struggled to stand from the couch, staggering to the door. She pointed her wand as she unlocked it, peering out but careful on keeping her wand out of sight just in case.

At the door was a muggle petite blond woman whom Tonks recognized to be the mother from opposite the street.

"Hello," She spoke nervously.

"Erm…Hello…" Tonks mumbled, forcing a slight smile. She mildly wondered how she looked to this muggle.

"I brought you some cookies, if you don't mind," She said, holding out a box, "I saw you by the window and thought I'd welcome a new neighbor."

"I'm not your new neighbor," Tonks replied, contemplating if she should take the cookies. On one hand, she was starving and on the other, this may be a ploy.

"Oh, so you're living with the Snapes then!" She gaped, evidently shocked.

Inwardly, Tonks groaned, "I'm just lodging here temporarily," She clarified.

"No, no," The woman shook her head, "I'm happy Severus found someone he could-"

"No, you're mistaken we're just friends," Tonks rushed to say but the woman seemed to not have heard her.

"That poor boy, I feel so happy for him,"

At this, Tonks's curiosity was perked, "What happened to him?"

In a hushed voice, the woman spoke, "His parents, Mr and Mrs Snape used to argue a lot. When finally the poor boy made friends with his neighbors, a girl, both of them were sent to school, only god knows where."

"A girl? Who?" Tonks continued to ask.

"It was a long time ago but I think it was the Ev-" The woman's reply stopped short and Tonks looked to see Snape coming out from the alley, the same sour expression on his face which turned slightly paler as he saw the woman at his doorstep.

"Good afternoon," Snape greeted coldly. Tonks could tell she was not the only who had chills when Snape was polite.

"Good afternoon Snape," The woman smiled forcefully before handing him the cookies, "I was just thinking to send some of these over," Without another word, she started across the street to her house with Snape staring after her.

"You didn't have to scare her," Tonks commented as they entered the house and Snape shut the door.

She turned around to see Snape about to drop the box of cookies into the bin.

"Wait!" She snapped, "Don't throw that!" Tonks rushed across the room as fast as her aching bones could carry her and snatched the box out of his hands. Then Tonks narrowed her eyes at him, bringing up her wand to his face, she asked, "What was the last thing Severus said to me this morning?"

"Nothing," Snape replied curtly and Tonks grinned, "it'a a trick question," he raised a brow, smirking. Tonks felt the chills running down her spine, still not use to seeing something close to a smile on Snape's face, "what was the last potion Tonks drank last night?" he asked and Tonks glanced down to see his wand already out and pointing at her torso.

"That isn't necessary, you can tell from the walk but its some bloody black and disgusting stuff which you refuse to tell me what it is," Tonks scoffed.

"You wouldn't know even if I did tell you," Snape sneered.

"Potion isn't my strong suits," Tonks protested, rolling her eyes. She opened the box of cookies. Inside lay stacks of palm sized cookies. She mildly tested it for poison before digging into the first piece.

"They don't taste as good as they look." Snape warned in a low tone.

"They're better than nothing," Tonks sat down gingerly on the couch, "I'm starving," She said in between bites.

"I left some takeaways in the fridge." Snape said.

"You have a fridge?" Tonks choked. He didn't reply but walk into the kitchen, "you didn't tell me that anyway!" She yelled after him.

Coming out from the kitchen, he was holding a bag of food and a note, raising both brows.

"I didn't see it," Tonks said curtly, picking up another cookie. Snape didn't reply again and she heard some activity in the kitchen, "when's the next order meeting?" She asked and waited but there doesn't seem to be a reply, "Severus,-"

He walked out of the kitchen, "the day after tomorrow and stay out of sight please," his request was dripping with sarcasm.

"What? She came to knock on your door!" Tonks protested, getting up from the couch and following him as he went back into the kitchen. She froze and stopped in her tracks as she took in the happenings in the kitchen. On the stove was cooking pots and the chopping board had half cut up vegetables, "what are you doing?" She gaped, her mind automatically recalling the sight of the kitchen at the Burrow.

Snape didn't reply but waved his wand and the stove to the pot switched off.

"Are you cooking?" Tonks's eyes widened. He looked at her blankly before flicking his wand so that the knives start cutting up vegetables. Tonks had admittedly never imagined Snape cooking or going around doing daily business ever, it was too unimaginable. In fact, in her stay here, this was the first time she'd seen Snape cook. All the while, either the food was left on the table or brought to her and left on the side table in her room while she slept. She'd never wondered if Snape had made it or bought it; to an Auror, if the food isn't poisoned, it's delicious.

"Is that an issue?" Snape said finally, his voice tensed.

"No, but this is…" Tonks stared, "not really what I imagined a potions master would be doing at home…" She smiled sheepishly, watching from the doorway. Her smile became a grin as she folded her arms across her chest, prepared for an amusing show.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Snape's voice almost cause her much difficult grasp on morphing to slip as she jumped, startled. She turned to him, rolling her eyes.

"I'm morphing," She replied simply.

"I said no morphing," He stated coldly, his eyes narrowing.

"You just suggested it," Tonks shrugged, even that took great effort.

"I didn't think it was a suggestion."

Tonks ignored him, staring at herself intensely in the mirror. Her bruises began to lose its bluish color and resume her skin's usual ivory color. Her sallow face fattened up and her eyes brightened as Tonks struggled to recall how she'd used to look.

"The headmaster will see through the ruse," Snape said curtly, looking at her in the mirror.

"It's not for Dumbledore." Tonks replied, already feeling weak from morphing.

"You're wasting your time," Snape said, deadpanned. Tonks shot him the strongest glare she could manage but didn't reply. Instead, she worked on making her hair the brightest pink ever. He stood there, watching.

"Since, you're here," Tonks stared at him in the mirror, "how is it?" Snape looked at her in the mirror. He pursed his lips, staring. Tonks sighed, squinting to resume her morphing just when she thought she'd never get a reply.

"Normal," He replied before going down the stairs.

"Mad-Eye," Tonks said warily as she watched her mentor begin to enter Grimmauld.

He didn't reply but open the door and instantly, she and Snape followed him in. She gestured for Snape to go ahead to the kitchen, wanting to have a talk with Mad-Eye. Last thing she wanted was Snape to have an extra soft spot on her for him to poke at. He slipped past her without a glance at either of them.

Without a word, Mad-Eye went up the stairs and Tonks followed till they entered an unused vacant room.

"What is it?" Mad-Eye asked gruffly.

Tonks peered at him, "you're mad at me," She stated in realization. The last time she actually talked to him in private felt like forever. Mad-Eye didn't reply but merely grunted, "Then I should be asking you this, what is it? What did I do?"

"Nothing. You've changed," Mad-Eye grunted, "but everyone does, this is mad times,"

"What are you talking about? I haven't!" Tonks exclaimed incredously.

"You didn't up for the meetings without a valid reason. You're always at Snape's and with the Death eaters. You're never at Grimmauld Place with Remus and Sirius. You skip work just to stay at Snape's," In a breath, Mad-Eye spat everything out as if they were a sin.

Tonks's eyes widened, she'd never thought her old mentor would be actually keeping track of her.

"But I should've seen that comin' now haven't I?" Mad-Eye continued, "Sending a naïve young Auror into the tantalizing mouth of Dark Arts,"

"Mad-Eye! I haven't turned to Voldemort!" She cried, grabbing her mentor's large calloused hand with both of hers

"Then where have you been?" He turned to her sharply, his tone demanding. She can't help but begin to think this resembles a visit to her parents'.

She flinched, "At…at Snape's," She muttered, unable to look up to meet his eye but she caught him nodding.

"Next time before I know it I'll have to watch my back with _you_," He growled. Tonks looked down, she didn't have an answer for him, "Nymphadora, I know what he is giving you. That power which the Order cannot give. _Don't _turn to that! What have I been teaching you?" Mad-Eye said, his words digging into her. Without warning, his hand cupped her face to tilt her face up so her eyes met his. She should've known better…Mad-Eye hated to have a conversation without eye-contact, kinda like her mother.

Instantly, Tonks winced, withdrawing from touch. She saw Mad-Eye frown. His hand grabbed her arm firmly as she tried to avoid his touch.

"Morph back," He demanded, both his eyes staring at the cut on her cheek which he'd apparently missed before when she'd use a little make-up to conceal, "I said morph back Nymphadora,"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Once was tolerable when Mad-Eye said it but twice was almost painful for her to bear.

"Morph. Back." His tone was almost dangerous now despite the fact that Tonks know he'd never do anything to harm her.

Under the added pressure, Tonks felt her morph slipping and she concentrated to hold it together. She was exhausted. Her heart was beating twice its normal pace and cold sweat broke from her forehead.

"Nymphadora," Mad-Eye growled at her, "I know what you're doing," He shook her, trying to make her lose her concentration and her morph, "Morph back now,"

Then she lost it. It slipped through her hold as if all this while she's been trying to grab water with her bare hands. It fell through. Tonks felt her face change. Her eyes became bloodshot with weariness. Her lips had a crack on the bottom one.

"What did Voldemort do? What did you do?" Mad-Eye said. He whipped out his wand and before Tonks could avert it, he began muttering spells. She felt the same warm tingling sensation at the cut on her cheek.

"Mad-eye…" Tonks muttered, "It's no use," The warmth on her cut was almost soothing but show not signs of healing. But Mad-eye, being the stubborn one always failed to listen. He continued and Tonks could hear him changing his spells every time. His wand tip pressed firmly but surprisingly gently against her cheek as he angrily muttered another spell, "Mad-eye… Mad-eye!" She held his wand handling wrist, tugging it down.

"Dark arts," He muttered, his blue magical eye meeting hers but his normal brown one averting eye contact. She acutely recognized that as helplessness and a partial apology. Mad-Eye always had a unique way of showing his emotions. After all, he's still human. He may be fearless but not heartless, Tonks know that firsthand being his beloved mentee.

"I'm fine," Tonks forced a nervous laugh, "My body is almost basking in the dark arts its receiving. It's like I'm…born for this…" Her voice trailed away, "I'm born for this. I am Andromeda Black's daughter," Tonks looked down to see her hands trembling.

"You are Nymphadora _Tonks_," Mad-Eye's reply came in the softest tone his gruff and weathered voice could manage but she wasn't listening, too many things were running through her beaten mind.

"I killed him," Tonks muttered, "I killed Ruane. It was me," She sucked in a breath she didn't realise she was withholding.

"Nymphadora-"

Before Tonks's eyes began swimming with tears she didn't even realise she had in her. Her knees went weak and her body fell into an undignified heap on the floor. Her world was spinning as her knees strike the wooden floor of Grimmauld Place.

Mad-Eye was there.

He was crouching on the floor.

His hands held her shoulder.

He was yelling at her.

His words didn't make any sense…

She was crying. She was truly crying. Hard, unrestrained, from-the-gut crying.

_She killed a man. He was her colleague, he was an Auror and he's innocent…_

* * *

"Lass, feeling any better?" Mad-Eye's gruff tone was back but only this time, she recognized it as being laced with some concern. Her eyes hurt. Her chest ached and her stomach heaved unnaturally, causing her to feel nausea.

"How long have I been out?" She asked, her voice scratchy and the question hardly coming out but in only a whisper. Tonks sat up only to realise she was lying in Mad-Eye's arms. He had a wand in his right and using his left to support her. The last time he did this was during training when she had tumbled down the stairs and was hardly conscious.

"About 25 seconds," _tops. Knowing Mad-Eye, he probably revived me once he realized I was out. _Mad-Eye fixed her with an unwavering stare.

Tonks reached up to remove the cakey substance from her face to realise it was dried up tears. She turned to Mad-Eye.

"I apologise," The words out of Mad-Eye's lips surprised Tonks to no end. Mad-Eye was never one to apologise or so much as to admit to a mistake. He was _never_ wrong. Even if he were, the closest to an apology Tonks was used to getting was an avert-the-subject tactic.

"For what?" Tonks croaked, turning away from him.

"That you joined the Order. Now you're here,"

"No, I made that decision," Her voice was raspy, "You can't protect me forever. I'm not meant to be protected, I'm an Auror. You were _right_. You're always right," Tonks braced herself, getting to her feet. Her black robes were caked in dust, ruining the fabric. A simple wave of her wand would fix it but she'd rather spend the energy getting to the kitchen.

"Not always," Mad-Eye's rhythmic progress was heard by his walking stick and prosthetic leg from behind Tonks.

"Always," She replied, deadpanned.

Silence.

"Remus is here today," Mad-Eye said all of a sudden.

She froze momentarily at the top of the stairs before deciding to stone her heart to continue her progress down the treacherous stairs.

"He wants to meet you," Mad-Eye continued, keeping pace with her easily, "desperately."

* * *

Tonks spent a quiet moment in the bathroom. Normal women spent this time touching up on their make-up; Tonks spent it morphing her bloodshot and puffy eyes and dried cracked lips away. Her cheeks were rosier, her eyes twinkling with life. She entered the kitchen to see Snape and Sirius engaging in a silent staring match which doesn't seem to make any notable progress.

Everyone in the kitchen was quiet upon her arrival. She didn't trip this time; she couldn't trust herself to get herself back up.

Everyone was staring blankly at her as if she was a stranger. Sirius broke eye contact with Snape to look at her. His sullen grey eyes brightened up. Remus's weary face cracked into a smile. Mad-Eye stared into the fireplace, unmoving. Snape kept his arms crossed; his eyes on Sirius.

As far as Tonks could see, Dumbledore and McGonagall have yet to arrive.

"Tonks!" Molly broke the awkward atmosphere as she shuffled out of the kitchen in her apron and bear-hugged Tonks, crushing the wind out of her and efficiently getting a nice silent wince from Tonks.

"Hey Molly," Tonks took a while to adapt to the crushed ribs and aching wounds to reply.

"You're dry as a twig!" Molly drew back, her nose wrinkling in disgust as her eyes skimmed over Tonks's physique and her hands touching the black fabric she was wearing, "and these clothes," Molly's face was twisted in disapproval that only a mother could conjure.

"I know," Tonks faked a laugh, "Dramatic right?" She drew a sharp breath, awaiting for the expected: _it suits you honey. _But Molly surprised her. The older woman looked into Tonks's eyes, smiling soberly while her hands gently rubbed Tonks's hand just a little warmer.

"I'm preparing your favorite meal. It'll be ready in a moment," Molly said thickly, as if close to tears, "Welcome home Tonks," She hugged Tonks again but gently this time before retreating into the kitchen, ignoring the sharp glares she got from a few new order members and including Emmeline Vance.

Molly's place was replaced by Sirius who also submitted her to a rib crushing hug, literally squeezing the wind out of her lungs. Her torso screamed in protest but her mouth remained shut.

"I missed you Cuz," Sirius muttered. _Was I really gone that long? The last time she met these lovely people, she remembered it was a few days ago…was that really a week and a half? _

"Sirius…" Tonks patted him twice on his back, gently extracting herself from Sirius. He grinned at her, leading her to the chair by him which she'd suspect Sirius had saved for her; just opposite Remus.

She slumped down into the wooden structure in relief for having manually switched off the strength for keeping her knees from growing weak again. She looked up to see Remus looking at her intensely. Dark eye rings circled his eyes, his hair has more streaks of grey in it, his mouth was turned down and his face seemed to be more wrinkled as if he was a sculpture from porcelain. Tonks broke the eye contact, looking down at the table where her fingers tangled together.

She, herself, wanted to be here but Tonks was swiftly regretting the idea. Her heart was pounding quickly, so quickly that it ached. Her breaths begin to come in short sharp rasps which she tried to keep as softly as possible. Her torso burnt, all coming from the wound at her neck which was concealed by her wavy long brown hair. Tonks begin to mentally calculate the time when she could excuse herself from the table and go into the bathroom for a short recuperate magical session with her wand.

"Cuz?" Sirius spoke, "do you want some chocolate?" Tonks look up to see Sirius holding out a bar to her. Her eyes darted to Remus for a moment before she took it with a small 'thanks'. It was the same one she loved. The one she'd normally ate when Remus walked her from her flat to Grimmauld or to work. It was the one only Remus would think to buy.

Her eyes were transfixed on him as she bit down into the chocolate bar. His blue eyes were cast downwards, blank as usual, revealing nothing.

"Thank you," Tonks mumbled, her eyes fixed on Remus but Sirius waved away her thanks from behind the prophets.

* * *

The meeting commenced just the way Tonks remembered it last. Dumbledore came into the room, his eyes flickering to Mad-eye and then fixing on her with worry in his eyes. Tonks averted his gaze and instead, stared at the wooden table. She didn't want to look up with the risk of meeting a hateful glare from any of the Order members.

The truth was that she had killed a man and apparently after some time, people started thinking and the conclusion that she was a killer came to their minds and stayed. Tonks didn't know what information reached their ears but she could tell she wasn't popular among the Order apart from the few like the Weasleys, Sirius and Mad-Eye. Remus's opinion remained a mystery about it. They hadn't mentioned her misdoings during her time under Voldemort; in fact, Remus hadn't so much as reminded her that she was working as a double agent now.

As usual, Sturgis Podmore stood, presenting his report on his uneventful night on guard at Knockturn Alley. Tonks mildly took note of which Order Member is stationed where so that at least she could have a slight sense of who she'll be bumping into if she went on an Auror errand or an errand for Voldemort.

Remus stood, his voice firm as he spoke his report. Tonks drunk in every word; the special way he pronounced his words as they roll off his tongue with perfect clarity, the way his lips moved to each syllable, his every hand gestures, the way his eyes made contact with everyone's else at the table (excluding hers), the way he shifted his weight from his left to his right and then balancing it out between both legs subtlely, the way he said 'Thank you' and sat down, pulling in his chair and finally giving his absolute attention to the next Order member presenting the report.

Tonks couldn't stop staring. There's something about this man. It made her stare after bothering to take a second look at a seemingly boring old bookworm at first glance. It captivated her attention, setting alight her every senses in her body, making her aching heart sing. Subconsciously, Tonks's head tilted to the side as she drank in his every habit and movement like a drug.

It was when Remus's blue eyes glanced to her, from his unwavering stare at Emmeline as she was talking, did Tonks blink out of her indulgence. She blushed, righting herself in the chair and finding another object of interest to look at. Her eyes flew over Sirius who caught her eye. He was looking at her, his lips in a smirk, his eyes sparkling in amusement. Feeling blood rush to her cheeks, Tonks ducked her face down, staring intently at her hands in her lap.

This was definitely not going to be an informative meeting…

* * *

"Nymphadora," Remus's voice rang out as clear as a bell.

Just a moment earlier when the meeting ended, many of the Order Members casted glares in her direction as they left, obviously not staying for dinner tonight because of a certain someone. Tonks had stayed in her seat, glancing up at Remus who was reading a book intently. She'd resisted the urge to get up to the bathroom in case Remus lost the thought to talk to her because she wasn't there.

Finally, the ache in her bones became too hard to bear and Tonks found herself standing up all of a sudden, the wooden chair scraping on the concrete floor behind her. She turned to leave, making for the door when she'd heard her horrendous name being said in a voice which was music to her ears.

Nonetheless, the sound of her name was too hard to bear, "Don't-"

"Call you Nymphadora," Remus finished the sentence along with hers and Tonks tried not to think how their voices blended together, instead, she concentrated on not smiling but it was impossible. His lopsided grin made it impossible for her to keep somber. She smiled.

"Then why do you?" Tonks challenged.

To everyone's surprise, Sirius jumped back in his chair, rocking it on its heels , "For Merlin's Sake! Do not flirt in the Noble House of Black!" From the kitchen, Molly drew back in shock that Sirius would interrupt but his grin betrayed his 'stern' intentions.

"Shut up," Tonks snapped playfully, turning to leave the kitchen nonetheless. She had to get to the bathroom before the convulsion starts. She heard Remus getting up after her, his rushed footsteps behind her.

"Nymphadora," Remus called after her. As much as she loved to stop and talk, she had to get rid of the problem in front of her, "are you leaving, Nymphadora? Please don't go, Molly's making your favorite dishes, you'll love it-"

"Remus… I'm going to the bathroom," She replied without turning. She ran up the stairs, cringing after every step.

"Oh…" was his only reply, "I'm sorry, I'll wait right here," He said softly, stopping just outside the bathroom as she entered and shut the door hastily, locking it. She whipped out her wand, fumbling with the wood.

"Bloody hell…" she muttered as her clumsy fingers let the wand slip past her grasp and clattered to the floor. She got to her knees, picking up her wand. The convulsion began. Tonks clasped her hand over her mouth as she started to cry out. Her body shook uncontrollably in pain and she hit the cold floor. Her neck burned in a non-existent fire. It spread quickly just as she'd remember. It slipped down her spine like a slippery snake, burning every cell in her muscle. Her wand slipped out of her grasp once again.

Throwing back her head, Tonks let out an involuntary scream.

"Nymphadora? Nymphadora?" The furious pounding of the bathroom door reverberated around the bathroom. Remus's voice flooded past her blurry senses, "Dora!" His voice sounded frantic. Tonks wanted to respond that she was fine but the moment her mouth open and her voicebox was activated, nothing came out but anguish screams. She imagined Remus whipping out his wand and immediately, the door opened.

Remus came running in. Tonks heard him drop to his knees by her body, which was curled up in a fetus position. She heard him abandoned his wand to the floor, scooping her up in his arms. She felt him lift her into his arms, his breathing quickened. She couldn't stop the convulsion in her muscles, the pain…

"HELP, SOMEBODY!" Remus shouted, terrified. Tonks felt Remus breaking into a run, but to where, she had no idea.

"Remus…" Her voice sounded strangled.

"Nymphadora, talk to me! SIRIUS!"

Her voice cracked and a strangled cry escaped her throat. A rush of musty air told her they had entered a room. She felt soft mattress around her and instantly, she was wrapped up in soft warm blanket. The fire in her veins and muscles intensify, aching her bones. The heat-

_This is it._

She screamed. Truly scream. It was filled with sheer agony. It echoed back at her in the house. Instantly, she heard Walburga Black's portrait begin shrieking.

The door burst open and Tonks heard the commotion in a mixture of footsteps and voices and horrified gasps.

"Move!" Mad-Eye's gruff voice travelled to her and suddenly, she felt his large hand touch her cheek gently, "she's burning up," He muttered, throwing aside the sheets off her. Tonks felt herself being submitted to various spells by Mad-Eye but the pain didn't go away. Tonks knew what spells to cast to make the fire go away but she didn't have her wand and the pain was overwhelming. Her hands shuddered violently even as she tried to grasp Mad-Eye's arm.

Suddenly, Mad-Eye's touch on her was gone.

She felt her wavy brown hair being pushed away from her neck and a wand tip was pressed to the wound at her neck. She heard the murmuring of Severus Snape and like clockwork, the convulsion stopped. The fire simmered away and the ache in her muscle faded into nothing. It left her panting, struggling for air.

She opened her eyes to see Snape by her side. Remus was standing at the tip of the bed. Her body was coated in a layer of perspiration.

"You should've been more careful," Snape said, his tone almost sneering.

"What happened?" Remus demanded and Tonks flinched. She glanced behind Snape to see Mad-Eye. Her old mentor was leaning on his walking stick, his wand in his hand and both his eyes staring at her intensely. Tonks couldn't tell what he was thinking. Behind Mad-Eye were Sirius, Molly and Arthur. Sirius was glaring at Snape. Molly's face was filled with worry and almost fear but compared to Remus, she could be considered to be happy.

Remus was pale, his pupils dilated. He looked positively terrified.

"What happened?" Remus asked again, his tone low and dangerous.

Snape looked at Remus. Without another word, he turned and swept out of the room briskly.

Sirius glared after him.

"Nymphadora?" Remus spoke, his voice firm.

"I-," She started but realized she had nothing to say, there was nothing she could say. Tonks glanced at Mad-Eye, "I need some rest…" she muttered.

Instantly, the rest started flooding out of the room. Sirius casted a backwards glance at her, frowning. Remus stayed unmoving at the tip of her bed and Mad-Eye stood on the spot, staring at her. She turned on her side and heard Remus retreat out of the room.

"Mad-Eye," Tonks started, refusing to turn to face him, "I-"

"There are things I can't do for you anymore," He spoke. His words and tone broke her heart.

"That is not true," Tonks turned, looking Mad-Eye in the eye earnestly. She struggled so she was sitting up, "I still need my teacher, Mad-Eye," She smiled, slipping her hand in his.

* * *

"Remus?" Tonks stirred, hearing someone at the door. She sat up, wincing as her spine objected. True enough, Remus was standing by the bed. He was bent over the bedside table, placing her wand on it, "Thanks," She muttered, instantly reaching for it and stowing it in her robes.

"So you do sleep with your wand," Remus spoke, his tone earnest. Tonks looked up to see the weak but mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I do not -sometimes," She pouted, looking away. Her heart was beating twice its normal pace and her blood rushed to her face.

He chuckled and she felt him sit down on the bed by her side.

"Remus…" Tonks started, sighing, "I'm sorry I kept it from you…its just some minor injury I got from-" She made eye contact to see him smiling, shaking his head slowly.

"Nymphadora," He paused, his brows frowning, "I thought I'd want to know what happened to you but I realized, all I want to know is that you're okay." He finished, his brows still knitted.

Tonks blushed as she watched his concern and troubled face studying her, "I'm fine now…"

Remus took a moment as he continued to gaze at her thoughtfully but eventually, he nodded, looking away.

"Remus," She heard herself call his name; her voice husky. He turned to her, a small smile on his lips as he watched her expectantly.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw the sincerity in his weary eyes, "Kiss me,"

To be continued…

Thank you to y'all readers and especially the reviewers!

DMSTonks: Thank you! I'm glad you like my portrayal. It was kind of how I imagined Tonks throughout the book so I thought I'd pen it down and share (: Hope she doesn't piss you off in the subsequent chapters! Beats me, guess there's just too many plot to cover aside from the character's progress (of Harry, Hermione and Ron)

Starxedlovers: Thank you so much! Sadly, this will be going way off the plot very soon. Just for a pre-warning, Tonks will be appearing in places she doesn't appear in the movies or books. I'm glad you like the Tonks-Snape parts. I shall not spoil the story and reveal if I am keeping the canon pairing but it should be obvious which pair I'm shipping (: Thanks again!

2lazee2login: I'm really glad you enjoyed the Tonks and Snape interactions! I was worried there's not enough animosity between Snape and Tonks. Thanks for your review!

PrintDust: Happy you like Bellatrix and Snape, those two were not explored much in the books and movies and portraying villain isn't exactly my specialty but I try so I hope you'll enjoy it! Thank you!

NymphadoraTonks-RemusLupin: Thank you so much!

* * *

**Please review and tell me your opinion for this chapt****er! **


	18. Chapter 18: Mark

Chapter 18: Mark

Remus stared.

"Remus," She shifted and leaned forward, "Kiss me," Tonks felt her hands holding his right. She realized just how calloused his hand actually is. Her thumb felt the scars on his hand, those on his knuckles signifying once split knuckles, the one starting at the back of his wrist, a small lumpy one in between his ring and middle finger.

"Nymphadora," Remus spoke, his voice coming out as a hoarse whisper, "No," He twisted his hand out of hers tenderly but that was too intimate for her to stop. His pale blue eyes averted hers, looking intensely at the dusty wooden floor.

"Kiss me," Tonks insisted, her hands grasping his hand again, "You promised you would do anything,"

Remus looked up abruptly, his face stiff and unsmiling. For a moment, she thought saw regret in his eyes but it was gone in a flash. He broke their eye contact and looked down at their connected hands.

Slowly but surely, his fingers wounded around hers. Tonks froze, her heart jumping in excitement, stuttering and stumbling in the process making it hard for her to breathe. She watched as his warm thumb caressed the back of her hand. His hands were incredibly gentle, his fingertips barely brushing her skin. She felt him lift her hands just a little and slid his fingers in between hers. They matched. Her smaller hand fit right in his snugly as their fingers tangled together, clasping onto the other. She looked up to see him gazing at her. _His eyes…_

She saw him inch closer, his hand kept on hers. Closer and closer till she could smell the faint delicious chocolate fragrant from every exhalation he took. Tonks allowed a small smile to grace her lips, knowing he'd probably sneaked a chocolate before the meeting; not being able to survive without them for more than a few hours. It was so slow, it was hard to bear.

_Oh damn it! _Tonks covered the remaining distance abruptly, apparently startling Remus as she felt his breath hitch and he froze. _Oh Merlin, his lips…they were the softest, the warmest_. She ignored the sharp pain the cut on her lips gave her as she kissed him.

She felt him tentatively moving his lips against hers. Tonks was on fire. One moment, he was hesitantly pressing his lips to hers, the next; her hands were running through his sandy brown hair, she, being the anxious one rushing into it. Despite that, Remus was gentle with her; very gentle despite her passionate response. His lips gently took her bottom lip in between them and… _oh…_ Tonks felt her eyes roll to the back of her head.

Frustratingly, Remus kept his hands to himself. He tilted his head just a little, deepening the gentle kiss. Tonks could feel his rough and scratchy stubble comfortingly against her chin. Of course she mildly wondered why he hadn't shaved but that thought slipped away from her careless grasps as she let herself sink into blissful depths.

The kiss was everything she expected a kiss to be. Her first kiss; she hadn't even had a small peck with Charlie, not on the lips anyway. The sweetest, the kiss that makes her knees go weak and her heart just melt at the thought. In a pleasant surprise, she felt Remus's hands rest of her hips, just barely applying pressure. Tonks couldn't help but having the impression that he was scared she'll shatter under his touch or something.

Tonks's thought were cut short and so was the kiss as Remus broke them apart. She began protesting but realized she'd not been behaving during the kiss.

Her hands were still buried in Remus's hair and her body wasn't where it used to be. Instead, she was practically on him; slightly straddling him. Remus's eyes were open, gazing up at her. They held so much depth. She couldn't figure what he was thinking; _was he upset? Amazed and mesmerized? No, I am amazed and mesmerized… _

His breathing was quickened and his lips parted just slightly. His hands had left her hips, leaving her wondering if she'd imagined it all. His body was warm against hers.

Remus blinked. Flushing in embarrassment, Tonks crept back.

Tonks neither remember herself tearing her hand from his nor did she remember moving onto him. She didn't know if he kept his eyes open through the kiss or that he just opened them in sync with her. His lips were redder than usual, a strangely happy reminder for Tonks.

Her throat was dry as she found herself unable to speak but sit there, waiting for Remus to do something; _anything…_

"Get some rest," Remus's voice sounded scratchy as he calmly stood to leave. Tonks looked up, wincing as if she'd been hit. She caught sight of his tousled hair at the back of his head, courtesy of Tonks. Without a backwards glance, he was gone, out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

The only thing that told her Remus was even around before was the sunken space on the bed he'd sat on, her racing heart and her blissfully warm lips.

_What did you expect? You forced him into this…_ Tonks berated herself, sullenly sitting there. She didn't even have the courage to go after him to demand he gave her a proper talk. Tonks could only stay there, mending her broken heart to top up her already broken body.

~:~:~:~:

"Perfect," Voldemort's silky voice effectively unnerved her, "Nymphadora, we saved you a seat," He gestured to the seat by his side. Tonks bowed, sitting down respectably in her seat just as she'd seen her mother do many times at the dinner table. She heard Bellatrix's hiss and saw Narcissa flinch.

Snape was just beside her. He barely glanced at her.

"My friends, the old man has done enough tyranny to us," Tonks held her breath, "Tonight, we take it all back from them."

Her heart stopped.

"Bellatrix and Nymphadora will lead the mission," Both Aunt and Niece hissed in objection, "Yaxley, Rodolphus, Rowle, Dolohov and Greyback will join you at Azkaban," Signs of excitement spread around the room except with Tonks and Bellatrix who are glaring at each other from across the table, "I hope you will learn to work with your niece Bellatrix," Voldemort turned to Bellatrix who snarled upon meeting Tonks's glare, attracting his attention.

"She's no niece of mine my Lord. That sister is no longer one to Cissy and me since the day she got with that mudblood," Bellatrix spat.

Tonks gritted her teeth, practically seething with anger; her wand already out under the table.

"Now now Bella," Voldemort practically cooed, "Nymphadora here would redeem her Mother's unfortunate fate," A sadistic smile spread across his serpentine feature, "Won't you, Nymphadora,"

Tonks shook with fury, threatening to be unleashed, "Yes, my Lord," Tonks said in a low tone with gritted teeth.

"Good," Voldemort said, his red eyes still locked on her. Tonks was lost as she glared at Bellatrix whom redirected her attention to Voldemort as he said the plan. It was a break-in at Azkaban. Without prompting, Voldemort explained he _needed _Tonks there; despite the risk of forsaking her mission, he needed someone he knew was capable. They were leaving…now.

~~~~~~:~~~~~~

Her blood ran cold upon arriving in sight of Azkaban but through the trip here, she had never been comfortable. Voldemort didn't miss the fact that her half apparition form was white instead of the black –not that she had control over it but she'd learnt it from Mad-Eye instead of Voldemort. He narrowed his blood shot eyes upon sight of that and scrutinised it from the mansion even as they took flight.

The rest of the Death Eater formed a close knitted formation around her; resembling more like they are making sure she doesn't escape rather than a friendly escort. Her mask made her feel stifling and she couldn't think with that constant reminder what she was, so Tonks'd ripped it off and took a different form under the express permission of the Dark Lord himself. He was more than willing to let Tonks' talents show. It wasn't her style to go into battle morphed, it took up energy and just seemed despicable but this was for the mission.

Tonks found herself constantly looking over her shoulder, keeping an eye on every Death Eater, especially Bellatrix –Constant Vigilance.

Without a warning whatsoever, Bellatrix hurled a curse at the building of Azkaban, laughing. There seemed to be a silent message which Tonks didn't receive as the rest of the Death Eaters scattered to meet the onslaught of Dementors. Tonks swore as a Dementor swopped into her view. She dove down abruptly, feeling her stomach took a flip as she spiraled out of the way of another she met.

She could hear Bellatrix cackling in the background. There were many screams as some Death Eaters were overpowered by the hoard of Dementors approaching quite suddenly.

_Expecto Patronum! Think Remus, think…kiss… _

Her ferret was more than willing to be of service. Her white cloud of smoke appeared from the tip of her wand, ending at its furry tail. It does its job, taking specific instructions from Tonks. It surprised her how easily she drove the dementors away, her patronus was apparently much stronger than the last time she used it but the nagging thought that Voldemort helped with this made her acutely uncomfortable.

Down below, Tonks glimpsed the hoard of werewolves approaching the door of Azkaban as she burst through the clouds. They were uncontrollable, snarling and growling like a pack of animals rather than human. Withdrawing her ferret, Tonks landed in a burst of white light in front of their leader, Fenrir Greyback.

The werewolves were not well received anywhere and it made no difference in Voldemort's bunch. Instantly, Tonks began to lock on her possible –though a little forced—teamwork here with them. _Well, your enemy's enemy is your friend_… She began contemplating the times the pack will prove useful to her.

Instantly upon sight of her, all the werewolves crouched forward, snarling but on a raised hand from their leader, they made a point to tone down on their hostility.

"Black," Greyback spoke. Tonks spun around, letting her morph slip. Instantly, Greyback's eyes widened as he realized he'd mistaken her for Bellatrix. It wasn't difficult. Apart from the lack of frizzy hair, Tonks and Bellatrix were practically alike.

"Greyback," Tonks inclined her chin, greeting coldly. Greyback's yellowed eyes narrowed as they ran over Tonks's petite frame and heart shaped face which was now framed with long black hair. There was no way to describe the werewolves apart from pathetic. Rags hung off their muscular frame, many of them going without a shirt if they can manage. She glimpsed lumpy scars on every part of their body as she glanced over them. An unwelcome thought of Remus came to her mind; as one of them, as a monster rather than the gentle, caring, kind and loving man she knew. She shuddered, just barely, thinking of the things they'd do to him.

"The Dark Lord has instructed us to-"

"I am clear what the Dark Lord has said," Tonks interrupted, ignoring the several growls from the pack, "You will follow our orders in this mission if you want to live," She told them calmly.

"We don't take orders from you," A younger but equally shabbily dressed man stepped forward, snarling. A long scar ran parallel across his exposed chest. Tonks glared at him from the corner of her eye, a single flick of her wand to send him sprawling to the dirt, writhing in sheer agony. The rest of the werewolves stared wide eyed, instantly giving Tonks a wide berth. Greyback himself stood dumbstruck and did nothing even if Tonks knew he had his wand stowed away somewhere in his coat.

When Greyback recovered from his shock, he released a feral growl, "Stop, witch," He spat, letting Tonks' eyes glimpse sharpened teeth.

"Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks," She smirked, watching with silent amusement as Greyback's eyes widened. She believed he'd obviously heard of her. Her story wasn't a secret; from how Voldemort himself favored her to the personal trainings to finally being their own. It was surprising to Tonks but the fact that she was trained by Mad-Eye too made some timid Death Eaters tremble.

In exchange, Greyback's name wasn't a secret within the Death Eaters too. He was loosely mentioned in every conversation. The death eaters didn't like the werewolves, obviously. And the fact that Greyback had been the werewolf himself that had bestowed the curse on Remus didn't escape Tonks's eavesdropping either.

_This would be a good time for revenge,_ Tonks mused.

"So who's in charge of this mission?" Tonks asked. She heard her voice; silky, dangerous, just like Andromeda's. Her eyes locked with Greyback's, the screams of the young man dissolving into the background. There were nervous mutters, now, among the werewolves.

"The Death Eaters," Greyback growled, his eyes wandering to the man on the floor. _So he actually cared about his pack…_Tonks noted.

"Not good enough," Tonks seethed, tightening her grip on her wand and the man's screams became twice as agonizing for the listeners to bear; it was acutely beginning to resemble a howl, tugging at Tonks' own heartstrings. _This could've been Remus, on a full moon… _

"You," The leader finally snarled vehemently. Tonks could see how reluctant he'd been but that would have to do. She smirked, turning around to face the gates of Azkaban. Instantly, the screams stopped, leaving the man on the ground, his face buried in the mud. Tonks was mildly surprised but didn't show, that he was sobbing, slightly, "You will pay for this," Greyback's voice reached her ears.

"He'll live," Tonks replied back at him. She looked up to see the Death Eaters still locked in a battle with the Dementors but one of the half-apparition form began its descend, landing ahead of Tonks. Bellatrix stood closer to the entrance; not bothering to hide her disgust at the Werewolves' presence.

With a quick flick of her wand, the great gates of Azkaban creaked open and the rush of cold air greeted them. Tonks felt her heart turn cold as they began their entrance into Azkaban. Her hands trembled but it was a matter of experience and Tonks did accompany Mad-Eye once on the visit to Azkaban, only then, Dementors lurked around every corner.

Right now, they were too busy fending off invaders to be lurking in the corridors like the undead.

More and more Death eaters joined them. Tonks disregarded Bellatrix and began wandering down the corridor that she knew the Death Eaters would be held. She didn't know this place well but knowing Mad-Eye, he'd asked her to memorise the rough map of Azkaban for reasons beyond Tonks's intellect.

"Greyback," Tonks called, glaring back at the pack. From behind Bellatrix who was glaring at Tonks in sheer anger, Greyback sneered at her but whipped out his wand and approached her nonetheless, his pack close behind.

"Little Nymphie wants to play," Bellatrix cackled, "Well, go ahead, we're leaving without you when we've got the chance!" She shrieked after Tonks but she went on. The cold and quiet corridors were broken by the werewolves' hasty and nervous footsteps. Tonks sighed inwardly; she had no idea why Voldemort would want to recruit the Werewolves. Sure, they're deadly and intimidating but those became illusions on the other days of the month. _One happened to be a good kisser…_She can't help but thought.

They passed many cells which included witches and wizards unhinged by Dementors, groveling at their feet for an escape when they passed but Tonks entertained none and one got a nice kick in the face from a werewolf.

None of them interest Tonks but one. She stopped at the door, tilted her head as she read the name on it: Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Get the rest," Tonks ordered monotonously, pointing down the hall without looking away from the name. Hesitantly, the werewolves began unlocking the cells with brute force or with spells if they even possessed a wand. Tonks walked down to the next cell: Sirius Black.

She glanced in, half expecting to see her cousin's handsome face but there was no one; naturally. He was probably enjoying a fire whiskey back in Grimmauld.

Inside the cell were various scratches on the wall. Amongst, she recognized a shabby doodle of a dog, a stag and a wolf. Above, it was names for them; Padfoot, Prongs and Moony. Just below it, there seemed to be a timeline for him to keep track of the date. Below the various dates, there were writings of occasions. One of which wrote; anniversary for leaving home. Another wrote: Happy Birthday to Nymphie.

Tonks stared at that half a minute longer before moving on. There was Moony's birthday too, then Lily's birthday, then Prongs' birthday…

There was a loud crash as the werewolves began hitting down gates in frustration. Tonks rolled her eyes and sighed. They can surely depend on the werewolf when looking on subtlety…

"Hey, watch it werewolf!"

Tonks heard a familiar voice from behind her at one of the werewolves who snarled in return. Tonks sighed wearily, morphing her face away. He's the last person she'd want to meet. She turned to see Jensen standing there. His face was sallow and his eyes empty, circled with deep dark eye rings. His thin frame was draped over with normal prison wear.

His overconfident grin accentuate the lines of his thin but once handsome face as he breathed in the staled air of Azkaban as if it's the sweetest he'd smelt. He was smirking at one of the werewolves who seemed absolutely livid.

"Greyback," Tonks tilted her head so she looked past him to the Alpha of the werewolves pack behind. Greyback was glaring at her with eyes of narrow slits but he nodded stiffly. Without another word, Tonks turned on her heels and left the corridor with Jensen close behind and the werewolves with the other Death Eaters they rescued, most of them were laughing maniacally.

"Hey, thanks," Jensen seemed to zero in on her as the leader. She glimpsed him wanting to stop her with his hand.

Tonks stopped in her tracks, turning to Dane. Her eyes stared blankly at his raised hand, "Auror Dane, I would suggest we leave as quickly as we can," She said in a monotone before strutting past him, her wand at the ready.

From the entrance, she could hear Bellatrix's cackling. Tonks stood there, shifting her weight from one leg to the other impatiently. She could feel Jensen watching her but couldn't stand making eye contact. She watched as her Aunt appeared around the corner with a few freed prisoners. Instantly, Tonks turned and flicked her wand, watching as the great rusty doors of Azkaban opened. She signaled to the death eaters keeping watch on the dementors. The Death Eaters all started their half apparition, grabbing hold of a recently freed Death Eater whom didn't have a wand.

Tonks rolled her eyes, apparating. She swopped in a flash of white, scoping up Jensen by his arm. He is a heavy load, proving to demand more than Tonks remember she could offer. Her spine flared.

"What's your name?" Jensen asked, seemingly oblivious to her difficulty, "Are you new?"

"That's none of your business," Tonks retorted, surging forward.

"It's just a name," Jensen grinned playfully.

"Well, it's my name, go get your own," Tonks scowled.

"That tone…air of confidence…" From Tonks' peripheral vision, she saw Jensen look up at her, "Nymphadora Tonks…"

Tonks refused to look down to see his expression. She wasn't aware if her morph slipped or if he was smarter than she'd thought. She pursed her lips as Jensen's lips curled up in a grin.

All of a sudden, a white blast hit a Death Eater, whom was flying by Tonks. He cried out and Tonks recognized him as a rookie which just came in a few days ago. Tonks could only watch as he spiraled to the ground below. She wanted to dive in to save his life but there was no way she could hold on to Jensen and carry the guy.

"Move!" Jensen barked. Tonks glared at him and immediately swooped in just enough for Jensen to reach out and get the fallen Death Eater's wand. She let go of him and raced into the battle.

Her blood froze as she caught sight of Kingsley. He was sitting on a broom, hurling spells at Yaxley; whom Tonks think the Auror didn't recognize behind the mask. Tonks' vision wandered around; there was Dawlish, Williamson, Proudfoot and a few others wearing Auror robes. Amongst the Aurors, Tonks saw hit-wizards too.

Instantly, she reinforced her morph while musing that hit-wizards and Aurors working together was unimaginable. She wondered how long it takes them to turn on one another. Bellatrix's cackling broke Tonks's train of thoughts.

She turned to that direction in time to see Bellatrix down an Auror with a white flash of light, _thank Merlin_, which Tonks didn't recognize. For once, Tonks was glad the order wasn't the one onto this first but the ministry.

This will be equivalent to Remus's absence in this cross fire.

Blinking, Tonks parried a weak spell away. It looked strong but colliding with Tonks's wand, it bounced off like an annoying fly. She tilted her head at the young Auror, struggling with her broom already. Tonks sighed; she had no idea why flying on a broom wasn't one of the points to concentrate on during the Auror's proficiency tests.

Watching the Auror teetering on her broom while firing spells at her was almost amusing if it wasn't for the fact that Kingsley was headed this way, his mind trained on assisting this poor Auror.

Tonks didn't want to attack; she may kill someone else again. Kingsley, oblivious to her identity, pummeled her with spells. One came too close for Tonks's comfort. She retaliated, catching the newcomer in the face. Tonks watched as the young Auror slipped off his broom. Kingsley dove down, shooting her second glances as he did, wand at the ready in case she attacked but she didn't. She turned to her fellow Death Eaters.

"Move!" Tonks barked the order at the Death Eaters around. There was no use hanging around. As fun as it might be for the death eaters to be killing some stupid ministry workers, it wasn't worth the risk of losing one of their weak and underfed prisoners they just rescued.

A few of the Death Eaters followed her lead as she punched a hole in the Ministry well thought formation. She knew exactly where the weak spots of hit wizards are. Ironically, Aurors spent the most time trying to beat the Hit wizards more than the Death Eater. Victory in an unsaid competition was too sweet for Tonks to miss out on it.

She hit a Hit wizard, who sneered at her the other day in the face, with a blasting curse as she passed.

"Lestrange!" She heard someone call out but she was busy fending off 2 Aurors. Sending a jet of black at one of the Aurors, it burst into a flurry of sparks, emitting thick black smoke. Instantly, she bolted off to the mansion, disillusioning her white half apparition form. Her body tingled. It was a trick she'd learn from Voldemort; to disillusion while flying. She could hear the rest following her lead as she headed back for the mansion.

~~~~~:~~~~~~

"My lord," Tonks bowed as she walked into the hall where Voldemort was talking to Snape. Snape was standing with his back straight, his face expressionless but paler than usual.

"Ah, Nymphadora," Voldemort turned to her, rising from his chair. Snape turned, meeting eyes with her but not acknowledging. Tonks knew the routine now. Never, never communicate secretly in the presence of all the Death eaters and their leader himself, "how was it?"

Tonks smirked; the special confident smirk that she realized Voldemort actually liked the most and gestured behind her where all the Azkaban prisoners they rescued shuffled in. Some bowed respectfully, some dropped to their stomach, kissing the floor. The numbers of Prisoners here overwhelmed Tonks herself. She just realized how many prisoners she actually released.

Voldemort's eyes sparkled with sick pleasure as he looked at his fellow Death Eaters; some going to Azkaban in glory, some in betrayal, "my friends, we meet, again."

"My lord," One particular death eater looked up with a hungry expression, "I'd die to serve you again!"

"Ah, dear Jugson," Voldemort took two steps forward. All of a sudden, his flicked his wand and Jugson fell to the ground in an undignified heap, howling in agony. Some death eaters shrunk back in fear but a few stood their ground, staring at Jugson. Tonks didn't miss the sneer that Malfoy had as they watched Jugson struggle.

"My-my lord!" Jugson choked out.

"Dear Jugson, what did you tell the Ministry?" Voldemort practically shrieked, the spell intensifying.

_Perfect, another traitor for me to train my skills on-_

"Nymphadora," Voldemort called her. Rolling her eyes, Tonks stepped forward, ignoring the sneer from Bellatrix.

"My Lord," Tonks bowed at the waist respectfully.

"Your training today shall begin," He smirked towards Jugson. Tonks sighed inwardly before steeling her exterior. _This wasn't going to be pretty… _

She thrust her wand out swiftly causing Jugson to grovel on the floor, writhing in pain but there was no screams.

"Nymphadora," Voldemort said, _a warning…_

Tonks instantly pressed onto it. Soon, Jugson was no less of screaming, kicking and even groveling at Tonks's feet, begging for mercy. In the background, Tonks was vaguely aware of Voldemort's laugh. She felt sick to the stomach seeing Jugson's eyes turn bloodshot.

"You haven't learnt well Nymphadora," Voldemort commented and the death eaters who were already on their knees cowered even more, afraid it would be their turn next. Tonks stopped her torture on Jugson, turning to face Voldemort, "is there a particular reason why you show mercy to Jugson?" He turned to face her, his chin inclined.

Tonks didn't rise to meet his stare; it was consider insolence, "I thought he deserves worse than a passing torture," She replied fluently.

"Lies!" He hissed and Tonks felt her torso burn from its inside out. She shuddered but didn't crumple, still holding her ground, insistent on not falling to the ground in a heap as she always did. The spell strengthened and Tonks clenched her teeth when she heard a gasp escape her but her wand never left her hand, her stance never moving. Her heart practically stopped beating. Her chest was on fire, quickly spreading to her stomach and then rising to her neck. Her old injuries stung. Her bones, she thought, had already melted into ooze inside her. It felt like someone just ripped out her intestines with her conscious and was chewing on them.

The atmosphere in the hall froze as Voldemort laughed, a sick echoing sound in the dark hall. The curse stopped, "You have outdone many of your seniors, Nymphadora!" He smirked, eyes flicking in sadistic amusement.

Tonks smirked, weakly, hearing Bellatrix snort.

"Do you not agree Bellatrix?" Voldemort turned to her, daring her to challenge.

"I beg to differ my Lord," Bellatrix merely answered confidently, "This wench couldn't even endure a simple training from me,"

"Bellatrix…Bellatrix…" Voldemort looked away, his tone almost sighing, his expression contemplative, "how shall we convince you?" He turned upon Tonks, narrowing his eyes into slits, "Nymphadora, what do you think we should do?"

Tonks stiffened, turning to glare at Bellatrix. Openly, her Aunt smirked at her.

"My Lord, may I suggest a duel?" Lucius Malfoy stepped forward, bowing.

"Excellent suggestion Lucius!" Voldemort's barely visible lips curled back to reveal sharp teeth, "Let's begin!" He waved his wand, hardly able to contain his excitement.

A vase smashed to the floor in unintended magic from Voldemort's wand, causing Jugson to cringe. He shuffled away quietly as Bellatrix cackled, shooting a spell across the hall at Tonks.

Tonks parried it away, glaring at her. She rose to her full height, her body flaring in pain but it didn't stop her; she'd had worst during their trainings where she lay on the floor, unable to get up till Voldemort struck her with a curse again and again until she did. Voldemort's eyes were glinting with excitement as he stood back. Sucking in a deep breath, Tonks retaliated and from there, a flurry of spells burst out from both their wands. Tonks clipped Bellatrix in the shoulder and in return, Tonks got a whiplash in her face, splitting out her skin at her cheek.

"Fight harder Nymphie!" Bellatrix shrieked, smirking, "Mama would be proud!" Tonks glared, tilting her wand sideways and firing an easy shot to her left side. Bellatrix's eyes widened before she used her wand to split the spells, redirecting it to the ground. In burst into the concrete causing marble tiles to shoot up, one slicing Bellatrix's face. Tonks smirked, morphing.

Her Aunt shrieked, her free hand cupping her wounded cheek, casting a quick spell and all the shrapnel vanished instantly but Bellatrix was stunned. In front of her stood no one. Her eyes darted around her. Everywhere, there were death eaters all watching the battle.

Voldemort laughed and that made Bellatrix more impatient. She lashed out at the closest death eaters, knowing Tonks could have easily taken on another form. Jensen yelped, ducking and Bellatrix instantly targeted another, growling in frustration as her spell hit Yaxley square in the face.

"Nymphadora is getting the best of you Bella," Voldemort commented by the side, smirking. Bellatrix ignored that comment, using it to fuel her power. She glared around her, lashing out at Lucius; who ducked aside in shock.

"Bellatrix!" Lucius hissed, whipping out his wand, dropping to his stomach to dodge another death curse from Bellatrix. Behind her, Voldemort was still laughing.

"Excellent, Nymphadora!" Voldemort praised, smirking. Bellatrix was shaking in fury and with a loud shrieked, the hall exploded. Everyone was blown off their feet and onto their back apart from the Dark Lord himself. Suddenly, Bellatrix caught sight of something.

"Harry Potter?" Her eyes widened and instantly, she shot a killing curse towards him, "What a smart trick dear Nymphie!"

Tonks dropped to her stomach, narrowly avoiding the curse. The spell to make an illusion to Death Eater attire faded to reveal her normal black cloak. Her morph slipped away as Tonks let it, revealing a smirk, "I'm thinking that was pretty stupid of me actually," Tonks teased.

"Impudent girl!" Bellatrix lunged out at her, firing two curse, the black curse hitting Tonks square in the chest as she parried away the first. Tonks had the wind knocked out of her as she fell to the floor, her chest erupting into a dull but painful ache. She ducked aside and the killing curse destroyed the floor where she used to be. A second killing curse flew towards her, threatening to hit her full in the face when another curse, which came from the dark lord himself, deflected it away. Both spell burst into the wall, setting it on fire.

Bellatrix looked up in shock at Voldemort. He has his wand in his hand.

"Very good Nymphadora!" Voldemort smirked.

~~~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~~

"Bellatrix don't take kindly to being fooled around with," Snape said.

"Ouch!" Tonks winced, yanking her hand away, "I know you love her but don't pick on me!" She looked up from examining the burn on her arm to see Snape's sneer. She smiled, which quickly turned into a grin then a laugh, "I used to be scared of that," Tonks rolled her eyes upon quelling her laughter, "Now I just find that absolutely rude and annoying."

Snape was quiet, his wand trained on her arm.

"Dark Lord is pleased with you," Snape commented casually. Tonks shrugged, "it's your first mission and a success,"

"What are you trying to say?" Tonks sighed impatiently.

"You were born for this," Snape replied.

"Now don't you start too," Tonks scowled, glancing to check if her wand was still on the table.

"The Dark Lord might consider giving you the mark soon," Snape said. Tonks stiffened, her eyes staring blindly at the floor. _This is not happening to me!_ She subconsciously began scrunching up her cloak in her fist, gritting her teeth. Snape paused, lowering his wand.

"Can I see yours?" She started hesitantly, turning to look at his arm. Snape placed his wand on the table. He unbuttoned his sleeves buttons and pulled up his sleeve. Her breath hitched in her throat as the Dark Mark was revealed to her. It was sickening to look at. The skull looked uncannily like Voldemort, its hollowed eyes staring right through her. The serpent from its mouth was moving just slightly. Hesitantly, Tonks lifted her hand, touching the mark. It was lumpy to the touch, just like a scar.

She gulped, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. Tonks hated how scared she was feeling. _It's just a tattoo! Come on Tonks!_

"Your hand is trembling," Snape stated, this time, surprisingly missing a sneer. Tonks blinked, removing her hand and pressing it to her thigh. Glaring at the floor with all her might as if it'd offended her. This was much better than feeling fear.

"Nymphadora," Snape tapped her shoulder, jerking his chin to the table. It was shaking, toppling over the daily prophet lying on it.

"Sorry," Tonks stuttered, trying to calm herself, "and don't call me Nymphadora,"

"The mark is nothing to be afraid of," Snape stated coldly.

"I'm not scared of it. I just don't want to have it and end up being like Bellatrix," Tonks scowled.

"You do resemble her," Snape raised both eyebrows.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "No I don't. I resemble my mother…"

"Andromeda Black look exactly like Bellatrix," Snape countered. Tonks growled, grabbing her wand, she stood and stomped out of the room, "There's a meeting tonight," He said after her before the front door slam shut.

~~~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~~

Tonks sighed as she entered Grimmauld Place. The place was gloomy, holding a sense of foreboding.

From the kitchen, she could hear Sirius singing a drunken song. Tonks couldn't help but smile. She walked towards the kitchen, opening the door. And lo and behold, Sirius Black was sashaying around the kitchen, a bottle of fire whiskey in his hand.

"Hey Tonks!" Sirius slurred, "Didn't hear you trip over the stand," He smiled dreamily.

Tonks blushed, "No, I didn't trip," She frowned to herself, "you've been drinking again," She accused. With two brisk steps forward and quick reflexes, Tonks took the bottle from him, spilling some on him.

"Oi! Nymphie-"

"Don't call me that!" Tonks snapped, slamming the bottle down on the table.

"What?" Sirius protested, reaching for the bottle. Instantly, Tonks delivered a sharp resounding slap to his unshaven face. The impact sent him backing onto a seat behind him; his face jerked away from the force.

"Can't you just wake up for a moment? You're never sober!" Tonks shouted at him. Sirius blearily looked up at her, touching his quickly reddening cheek.

"Tonks, is something the matter?" Sirius blinked, trying to clear his head to talk to her.

"Yes, something is wrong," She growled.

"What is it? You can always tell me," Tonks watched with distaste as Sirius blearily reached out to pat her arm. She jerked away, cringing as if she'd been burn where her cousin touched her.

"No, I _can't_ tell you. You're always drunk!" Tonks turned on her heels, furious as she left the kitchen.

Once she left the doorway, she found herself running right into someone else. Tonks stumbled back, startled. She felt a grip on her arm, helping to balance her before she fell back.

"Sorry,"

_That voice…_ "Remus," Tonks nodded stiffly. His warmth from his large strong hands was comfortingly on her arms. There were more streaks of grey in his hair. The premature lines on his face were deeper but Remus was cleanly shaven.

"Your face, what-" Remus leaned forward, concerned at the gash on her cheek.

"It's nothing…" Tonks replied, mesmerised as he leaned closer. He looked like he was about to touch her cheek but his hand paused midway and he let it drop.

They stood there for a moment, his hands on her arm before Remus let go of her, "I heard shouting…" His velvety voice trailed off, his eyes never meeting hers.

"Yeah, that was me," Tonks replied quickly, upset, "Sirius is drunk… again." She slipped past him to head upstairs, "I'll be staying here for a while, if that's alright," Tonks informed quickly, avoiding eye contact with him. Without waiting for his reply, she went upstairs.

Her room she used to occupy whenever she was here was still untouched. The bed was made and the floor was clean. Tonks sighed, removing her robe, letting it drop to the floor. Walking to her bed, Tonks dropped down on it, wincing as she rolled on her wound. Half asleep, Tonks reached out and pulled the pillow to her, supporting her sore neck. For a moment, she could hear conversation down in the kitchen, then footsteps…_whose it is…_

* * *

Remus walked up the steps, his creaky joints aching. _The last moon had not been kind… _

Remus could still feel the warmth of her soft lips on his. Her smooth skin rubbing on his neck as her hands struggled to gain a hold of him by his hair. Her chin to his stubble; he felt embarrassed about it so shaved it the moment he got the chance. The feel of her slim hips under his hands…it was just…

_Stop it Remus Lupin! Who do you think you are? What is she, 13 years younger than you? She's smart, beautiful, and lively, why would she even mix around with a gloomy old bookworm like you? _

Remus chided himself inwardly. The conversation with Sirius hadn't been pretty. His heart ache at witnessing the disappointment in her eyes at her beloved cousin… Despite the reddish swollen mark on Sirius' cheek, Remus found the need to wake Sirius up. Remus had dragged Sirius to the sink, running his face directly under the faucet of cold water. Sirius choked and spluttered, sitting down on the floor.

"Moony, bloody hell!" Sirius growled, rubbing the water from his eyes. Water droplets clung onto his moustache.

"Really, wake up," Remus replied simply, "Other people need you to at least be sober," He couldn't help it as he glanced out the kitchen door.

Sirius ignored him, rubbing his face. Remus sighed and had headed upstairs.

At first, Remus had meant to return to his room but curiosity got the better of him. Remus found his legs going towards Tonks' room. He could still feel his hands burning of the feel of her arm under them. His heart was pounding against his chest, making him feel more nervous than he already did.

He hadn't seen her since they'd kissed. Remus tried to tell himself he was just keeping a simple promise but he couldn't. He tried convincing himself that soon, the remaining 2 requests would be used up too and that would be the last excuse he'd get of doing what she was asking. There was one thing Remus was so certain about. The kiss was a mistake. It'd left him yearning for her.

His eyes would die just to see her; see her healthy, happy… His hands wanted to feel her under them and he hated himself for that. Remus just couldn't bear the thought of him; a dirty old werewolf, touching her. Not to mention that he was old, the thought of someone like Tonks standing close to a dangerous dark creature like himself made him shudder.

Remus was well aware that she's an Auror but the experiences of war; the scars, had yet to find a way to her skin and neither would Remus want them to. In his eyes, she'll always be the young, lively and much too fragile Auror that needs protecting from the world, from him, especially.

But no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stay away from her. The sound of her voice, furious and shouting at Sirius made blood rush to his feet, forcing him to go down to take a look at her, even a peek.

Remus pushed the door open a small gap. There she is, sprawled on the bed with the pillow under her head. Her legs were hanging off the side of the bed. Her hair had taken on a sandy brown colour, forming waves around her head on the pillow. Her face was sallow, eye bags were forming under her weary and thin face.

Remus walked over to her, looking down to see her abandoned robe. Quietly, he picked it up, hanging it up behind the door. Then he made his way over to her, kneeling beside her. Her pale heart-shaped face was just facing him. Unable to stop himself, Remus reached out, his hand lingering over her cheek. He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding and instantly, Remus pulled his hand away.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. _Remus John Lupin, what are you doing!_ _You can't even pull the guts to go after the woman you love and here you are… How much of a lowly pathetic werewolf do you want to be? _

Remus opened his eyes to see a large gash on her arm. He'd initially thought she'd tripped and hurt her cheek but seeing the gash on her arm too, Remus was sure Voldemort had got her doing things again…

He sighed, pulling out his wand. Remus mumbled an incantation he knew well. A small glow of white was emitted from the tip of his wand and Remus watched as her wound knitted itself together to form nothing but pale smooth skin under the torn cloth.

Tonks looked absolutely breathtaking in black. Remus didn't miss the resemblance of Tonks and Bellatrix in terms of looks and in terms of character. He didn't know Bellatrix well personally but judging from Sirius's character, he'd say that character is a common heredity passed down from generation to the next in the Black family. Tonks had her mother's soft features in contrast to Bellatrix's. Her eyes were a lovely shade of grey that Remus missed.

The black tight fitting dress she was wearing made Remus blush just when his eyes skimmed over it. He looked at her face, sleeping peacefully. Gently, Remus reached out, taking her gloved hand in his. He gently touched and weighed her hand in his. Then she stirred in her sleep, mumbling wordlessly. Remus froze but he didn't let go of her hand.

"Nymphadora," Remus found himself whispering to her. Part of him wished she could hear him, part of him wished she could just sleep and spare him the agony, "I'm sorry," He practically mouthed it out, "I love you but…" He sighed inwardly in frustration, hanging his head before her, "I-"

"Remus," A raspy voice called out softly from behind him.

Remus almost fell over.

Like a deer under the spotlight, he blurted, "Mad-Eye."

To be continued…

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A/N: The reviews left for last chapter was lovely! Thank you and I hope you enjoy the little scene from Remus's sweet but a bit messed up POV, think of it as a thanks for all of the support (plus the extra long chapter)! Personally, this chapter definitely fell short of my expectations for the plot I had in line for this but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless and don't hesitate to drop me a note about anything annoying bad or a serious OOC you noticed! Just a short note here but the initial title of this chapter was 'kiss me' till I changed it to 'Mark', in more ways than one! ^^

Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers out there!

**Starxedlovers:** Thank you! I was wondering if the breakdown would be a good thing to put through, thank you for the feedback! Yes, I think you definitely got it there, she's just a poor girl, a lot of people (in the story) forgets that. Hope this gives you an insight where it is going!

**Angelic94:** Thank you so much! ^^ I'm really glad you like Mad-Eye's things with Tonks! Honestly, I'm not a fan of Snape but I'm kind of neutral about him. Glad I wrote him right. Thanks again!

**2lazee2login:** Thank you so much!

**HammersNStrings:** Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed how I interpret her from the books and portrayed her. I can't say much without spoiling it but yes, Remus does know a little bit more about what's going on that he lets onto (: Thanks again! Hope this chapter gave you some insight on their relationship. Again, Snape and Tonks' relationship was definitely in this chapter (you guessed right)

**DMSTonks:** Short but thank you so much for that! ^^

**AbsurdAnimals:** I am updating now! (: Thank you! Hope this didn't disappoint!

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Leave me a review! ^^


	19. Chapter 19: Cards on the Table

Chapter 19: Cards on the table

Tonks groaned, her back aching from her awkward posture on the bed. Her eyes felt tired and they yearned for more sleep. Her face wound felt stiff and fragile, threatening to bleed. Ironically, she'd never slept so well in weeks. She blearily got up, scrambling for anything that told the time but there was none. Instead, she pushed aside the dusty moth eaten curtains to see the afternoon sun glaring at her.

She flinched, letting the curtains fall back into place. _Merlin…_

Tonks staggered off the bed and blindly reached down to pick up her robe only to feel her fingers wrap around nothing but empty space. She blinked, frustrated as she looked around the floor for her abandoned robe. As she was about to leave the room to see if she left it in the kitchen, she caught sight of it hanging on the hook at the back of the door.

Cautiously, Tonks took it and slipped it on_. I remembered throwing it on the floor…_ Tonks frowned, still deep in thought as she walked down the stairs. As she reached the second landing, she heard a familiar and heartwarming sound.

Clonk clonk…clonk…

_Mad-Eye!_ "Mad-Eye!" She blurted, rushing down the last flight of stairs, "Mad-Eye-"

Bumping into someone, she fell back, landing on her behind in a jarring thud, "Watch it lass!" The gruff voice of her mentor gave her the new-founded strength as she jumped up on her feet, throwing her arms around her old mentor's neck, "Alright alright, what did I say about constant vigilance!" He barked roughly at her but Tonks had known him long enough to hear the little but existent affection in his voice.

She beamed, "It's subjective, if I'm vigilant at all," was her protest. It sounded strong and true enough, Mad-Eye stared at her with his good eye, his magical eye busy whirling in its socket, "what are you doing here?" She asked.

"Checking up on you," Mad-Eye replied bluntly.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if you're just tactful or honest," Tonks rolled her eyes. She slinked her arm though Mad-Eye's, expecting a yell or two from him but there was none, instead he stared at her till she let up sheepishly. Tonks can't help but think he was getting soft hearted on her, "How's retirement fitting you?" She asked casually as they walked to the kitchen.

He turned to her, giving her the look which told her that her attempt has been felt and she should stop at once.

"Okay, jeez," Tonks rolled her eyes again, "I'm just making some conversation."

"You need some incentive to behave…" He muttered and Tonks got the cue, clamping her mouth shut.

The kitchen was empty. Molly wasn't there to cook. To put it simply, the house only had Mad-Eye, Sirius, Remus and herself. Mad-Eye sat down in the chair around the table. To Tonks' surprise, there was actually food on the table even if it's just toasted bread with tea. Remus, as usual, had a half eaten chocolate in his hand.

"So…morning!" Sirius started awkwardly. Tonks didn't miss that he wasn't drinking any firewhiskey. All he had was a cup of hot chocolate.

"Afternoon," Tonks smiled which Sirius beamed at.

"Did I mention that you look exactly like Andie when you're upset?" Sirius leaned forward, instantly more eager in this conversation.

"Do I?" Tonks teased, knowing first hand of being on the wrong end of a 'Black' female's rage. It never is fun.

Sirius nodded, grinning, "I'm always serious," Tonks rolled her eyes, cracking into a grin at that.

"You're leaving already?" Remus asked, just leaving the kitchen after her.

Tonks' breath hitched in her throat, _so he's finally talking to me normally again…_ "I have a meeting with…" she turned to face him. Remus was wearing what he wore last night and Tonks could see some signs of stubble forming. She'd bet her wand that he didn't sleep again.

He nodded knowingly to her answer. Tonks studied him carefully. He was shifting from one foot to the next, his eyes glancing away from hers to meet the wall or the floor, his hands buried deep in his pocket, _the signs of a nervous schoolboy…_ Tonks mused inwardly.

"Be safe," He finally said.

Tonks nodded, trying to hide her disappointment as she turned to leave. It wasn't that she was running late or anything, she just couldn't stand another moment in this house knowing that Remus really didn't feel for her the way she felt for him. It was degrading and hurtful to her Black pride, as much as she hated to admit it. Furthermore, she'd had her fair share of conversation with Sirius and Mad-Eye.

"Alright, see you," She stepped out into the quiet streets; glancing back to see him standing in the doorway, a hesitant expression upon his weathered face.

"Nymphadora," Remus called out and she heard hurried footsteps as he ran after her, "I…can I talk to you?" He stammered just slightly but that awed Tonks. _Remus Lupin is finally stammering…finally, I'm not the only bumbling idiot around us two._ She hid her smile as they walked.

The setting sun was beautifully in their sight as they walked down the path. Tonks breathed in the evening air, feeling relaxed and finally free. The air seemed staled around her nowadays.

"I'm sorry," He spoke, causing Tonks' inhaling to halt midway.

"For what?" She frowned, genuinely confused.

"For the…the kiss," He finished and Tonks blushed at the reminder, morphing it away promptly.

_Great, so now you regret it. I preferred it when you're in denial…_Tonks thought sullenly, "Apology accepted…" She mumbled. _Now, that wasn't so bad was it?_ She heard a small voice chided her.

"Nymphadora," and Tonks inwardly cringe at the sound of that name. The sound of his voice quelled the urge to scream at him for that but just barely. "I'm sorry about how I acted _after_ the kiss," Remus said, his speech coming more smoothly now, "it must seem very, very rude of me."

Tonks let out a nervous laugh, "I think we can all forgive rudeness once in a while,"

Remus wasn't amused. In contrast, he seemed very serious about whatever he was saying, "I like you, Nymphadora. A lot…" He said carefully, as if treading along the cliff side.

Tonks froze and her legs stopped functioning. She stood rooted to the spot, halting Remus's progress abruptly as he anxiously watched her reaction.

"I'm just telling you, I thought you want to know," Remus began again, "if you don't feel the same way, if I've read wrong, then it's alright. I understand that too…"

Tonks couldn't stop the smile spreading across her tired face as she looked at his worried expression, "You're babbling." Tonks stated, her smile becoming a wide grin.

"Sorry," Remus blurted. She couldn't let go of how frantic Remus actually looked, probably the first time in his life. Then she saw a glimpse of the Marauder that once was in him. He gulped, watching her, worried, "Nymphadora?"

"Really, stop calling me that," Tonks said, trying to sound stern but the smile was still on her face. Remus tentatively smiled, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Well?" He looked at her earnestly.

"What?" Tonks raised her brows in surprise, enjoying the moment she actually had to tease and get the better of Remus Lupin. It was probably the once in a lifetime opportunity and she wasn't letting it go for anything. She almost laughed when he seemed worried again.

"What we were talking about, just now," His voice faded into a mutter.

That was it. His expression did it. Tonks let it go, "I love you more than you know," She laughed. Tonks met his eyes and she thought Remus was being ridiculously happy about it. _She thought he knew… _

His blue eyes brightened up upon her words, his hands hesitating to stay in his pockets anymore.

"But why…" Remus mumbled despite his smile.

"Simple minds like yours wouldn't comprehend that, let it go," Tonks grinned. Leaning forward and standing on her toes, Tonks kissed him gently on his cheek as he stood very still. She withdrew to see him in utter surprise. Biting her bottom lips, Tonks extracted his hand from his pocket by his wrist, slipping her hand into his warmer and larger one. They matched. His hand wrapped around hers nicely whilst hers fit in his.

Gently, Remus laced their fingers together, his hand barely applying pressure on hers whilst Tonks was gripping him so firmly she was sure there was nothing short of cutting off blood circulation going on in his poor hand.

He smiled at her as they walked up and then back just to head to the alley for Tonks' apparition away. The walk was quiet with each of them enjoying the other's company, their touch. Remus' untimely urge to pull out a chocolate bar effectively made her chuckle in amusement.

"You never stop eating chocolate now do you?" She asked incredously.

"Not as long as I can remember," Remus smiled, "It makes everything better. Apart from this one time,"

"When is it?" Tonks asked, curious.

He chewed on the chocolate bar thoughtfully before replying, "When I found out, all this while that you're hurt, I'm just an innocent, naïve friend in your life with not an inkling how you really are. All the chocolate in the world couldn't take that feeling away."

Tonks sighed, opening her mouth to speak but Remus offered her another chocolate bar, halting her reply.

"Don't be sorry," Remus smiled, "that's the least beneficial part of love, it makes us worry,"

For the first time in forever since she discovered her need for the last word, Tonks merely nodded in agreement, finding no words worthy enough to rebuke this man.

Even the Riddle mansion seemed brighter and happier to Tonks. She found herself smiling like an idiot as she walked into the mansion. She heard soft footsteps behind her and turned to see Lucius Malfoy. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Wotcher Uncle," Tonks grinned. Lucius narrowed his eyes at her.

"I see your wounds have healed," he sneered.

"I'm still standing," Tonks smiled, earning a sharp glare by Lucius.

"Don't be too happy Nymphadora, you have yet to earn the highest honor a death eater could ever attain," Lucius smirked, purposefully adjusting his sleeve buttons.

Tonks' smile faded. She knew exactly what he was talking about. _The Dark Mark…_ Tonks didn't know why Voldemort didn't want to give it to her, not that she wanted it but the absence of the black mark made her worry about the amount of trust Voldemort put in her. Tonks didn't know what she'll do if he did give it to her. She didn't want to be branded as Voldemort's henchman; joining the order didn't require that of her…

"How's work Nymphadora?" Lucius asked coldly, seemingly more eager to make her uncomfortable.

"Great, I can't help but notice your absence at work, Uncle," Tonks said sardonically.

Lucius glared sideways at her. Her uncle was not happy when Voldemort had ordered him not to rat out on her to Scrimgeour. The last thing Voldemort wanted for Tonks is to not be useful as a double agent anymore.

Lucius sneered at her before heading before her, pushing open the doors of the meeting room. Most of the other Death eaters were already there, waiting for the meeting to begin. Tonks glanced to realize that her cousin, Draco Malfoy was there too, looking acutely out of place.

He was stiff and glaring straight ahead at nothing. His hair was combed and gelled back into place much like his father's. He looked like a small boy in the wrong place.

Tonks ignored his wide eyed stare as Draco sees her. Instead, she bowed to the Dark Lord respectfully before filling the seat by his side, where he gestured for her.

"Now," Voldemort spoke as Tonks sat, glaring across the table at Bellatrix who was already seething at her. She smiled as she caught sight of the torn fabric at Bellatrix shoulder and the slight scar on her cheek. Tonks let the Dark Lord's voice fade away. Tonks looked away from Bellatrix; her cheerful Auntie would only ruin her mood.

She could feel the warmth of Remus's hand holding hers protectively. His smile, the way his smile went to his eyes, bringing beautiful sparkles into them, the way he kissed her, his lips-

"My lord, it may be a ploy to get us out into the light! What if the Order-" Tonks recognize Yaxley's deep voice booming across the table.

"We will not achieve what we want by sitting here," Voldemort hissed and beside him, Nagini arched its body up. Instantly, many protests around the table went silent, "I need that prophecy!"

Tonks wanted to scream and jump on the table in protest but nothing came out. She merely sat there, staring. _He's going to break into the Ministry_ and Tonks know it…she'll have to kill again unless she managed to get out of this mess.

"Nymphadora, please, share your opinion," Voldemort turned to her, his serpentine eyes trained on her. Somehow, her gut told her he was testing her.

Tonks took a subtle breath before speaking, "We'll need capable wizards and witches. Harry Potter will not be alone. He will bring friends and the Order will not stand by and watch us kill him," She continued, "They will be informed eventually by any means there is possible, it'll be important to take all the precautions."

"How do you suggest we carry this out?" Voldemort asked, his eyes never leaving her. Tonks swallowed subtlety, _he's testing me…_

"Two groups perhaps. One to fend off the Order, one to protect the prophecy," Tonks spoke, hating herself as she suggested.

"Yes…" Voldemort nodded, his smile revealing sharp teeth, "Very good, we shall do as you say."

At the side, Bellatrix's glare intensity and she growled in an undertone, "My Lord, let me lead this mission!" She leaned forward eagerly.

"Bellatrix, your loyalty is…admirable but Nymphadora will need her chances to show us what she is truly capable of," Instantly, Bellatrix's smirk faded and she glared at Tonks.

Tonks stopped breathing, "My Lord?"

"Dear Nymphadora, you will lead this mission," he stood and Tonks could've screamed at them, "You will obtain that prophecy for me," He rested a hand on her shoulder. She felt a shiver run down her run.

"My lord, the order might recognize her," Snape pointed it out to Tonks' surprise. Voldemort turned to Snape, contemplating.

"Well, Nymphadora's morphing will come in handy behind the mask," Voldemort replied, "Pick any death eater's form to take,"

"Alastor Moody's eye may see through her morph," Severus brought up and Voldemort turned to him, disturbed. Beside Tonks' chair, Nagini hissed,

_No he can't…_Tonks thought but _Voldemort doesn't need to know that_. Tonks suppressed a smile of triumph.

"No he cannot," Lucius snapped, hissing.

"That remains uncertain," Tonks snorted, "he sees through me more than a couple of times,"

"Then if Nymphadora is recognized, she will serve by my side as my faithful death eater. Never to return to the order or the ministry as a spy," Voldemort said in a tone Tonks had come to recognize as a final decision, "what say you, Nymphadora?"

_No! I will not serve you…I have too much to sacrifice…_Tonks steeled her expression, ready to reply as Nagini suddenly slithered its way up Tonks' lap. She paused, staring as the huge scaly serpent slithered over her. Tonks felt her breath hitched in her throat when the large serpent raised its head to her level, looking her in the eye before going to the floor between her and Severus. Recovering, Tonks looked up to see Bellatrix and a bunch of death eaters smirking at her.

"Sounds excellent my Lord," She managed a small smile that she hoped it looked sinister instead of forced.

Voldemort rounded behind her to stand behind his seat. Tonks glimpse a smile on his serpentine face.

Then Voldemort went on about his plan, infiltrating Harry Potter's dreams successfully for the past few nights.

"I hear, Severus has been asked by that old fool to teach Harry Potter Occlumency," Voldemort brought it up all of a sudden. Tonks was stumped. She had obviously not been told about that. She glanced sideways at him. Severus's pale face was expressionless, "How is it Severus?"

"Harry Potter is not making much progress with his training," Severus replied calmly but stiffly; his tone suggestive of a hidden meaning; probably of _why_ he isn't making progress. Voldemort smirked and turned to the table in general.

"My fellow friends, how do you think will we bring Harry Potter to the Ministry to pick up the prophecy?" Voldemort's trained eyes skimmed over each and every death eater's face.

"My Lord, can't we fetch it ourselves?" A small voice said from the end of the table.

"Fool!" Voldemort hissed, "The Prophecy is made so that only the Boy can retrieve it," The voice reduced to a short squeak before it reduced to nothing, "Wormtail!" He turned to the small man at the corner of the table, "Ideas?" Tonks noticed a hint of amusement slither down the table of seated death eaters as the Dark Lord called upon Pettigrew. Tonks glanced over to see the small man squirming uncomfortably.

"My lord," Tonks found herself speaking on his behalf, "Perhaps a bait. Using the Boy's weakness of friendship and love," She spoke, more calmly this time, "Maybe Sirius Black will do the trick,"

Voldemort's eyes glinted with excitement as he nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"He could have been made to believe we're…torturing Black at the ministry for information of Harry. He will come for his godfather," Tonks finished, biting on her tongue. _Oh Merlin…what have I done…I'm sorry Harry. _Tonks thought. She was nothing short of hating herself now. She just had to open her big mouth and help Pettigrew out of a moment of pity.

"Good…" Voldemort's words trailed off as he began thinking about her plan, his smile quickly widening into a smirk as it unfold into a success in his mind.

Opposite Tonks, Bellatrix snorted.

"Bellatrix, Lucius, Dolohov, Rowle, Yaxley, Jugson, Rookwood, Dane…" Voldemort's voice trailed off as Tonks' eyes widened at the mention of Jensen.

She'd completely forgotten him! She looked up to search for him and found that overconfident brat was sitting at almost the end of the table, looking as smug as ever. She rolled her eyes as inconspicuously as she can.

"And Nymphadora will take over the rest of the arrangement for this raid," Voldemort turned to her.

"Yes, my lord," Tonks nodded. Without another word, Voldemort stood and left with Nagini slithering behind him.

The moment the door slams shut behind him, the death eaters started moving. Some stood to leave; others remain seated, staring into space. One of them was Draco Malfoy. Tonks stood, smirking at Draco's overly pale face. The innocent boy has no idea. This was one of the least traumatic meetings compared to the last one where a shackled prisoner was tortured by every death eater at the table for just openly announcing his support of Harry Potter in a pub.

As she was leaving the hall, Tonks heard hurried footfalls behind her, catching up fast. Instantly, her wand was in her hand and she spun around, her wand up.

"Whoa!" Jensen Dane's eyes widened before chuckling, "Bloody hell, it's just me!"

Tonks narrowed her eyes, not lowering her wand, "What do you want?" She said coldly.

"Hey…just lower your wand-"

"No. Speak," Tonks interrupted.

Dane eyed her wand nervously, "Alright…I just wanted to say that was really cool of you,"

Tonks stared at him blankly.

"And…if you want to have a drink-"

"No," She replied flatly, turning on her heels and walking down the marble steps.

"Hey! You haven't heard when and where and with whom!" Jensen called after her. _I don't want to have a drink unless the sentence comes with Remus… _She thought.

"If you would excuse us, Dane," Snape's cold voice was heard right behind them, causing Jensen to jump. Tonks surprised herself when she remained calm and composed. _Maybe I'm getting used to it…_she mused.

"What do you want Snape?" Jensen snapped in that haughty tone.

"It appears you're not speaking to Nymphadora about anything of great importance," Snape replied.

"Well, it _appears _so-" Jensen started to protest.

"Leave, Dane," Tonks turned on him, snapping. Jensen glared at Snape before starting to step away.

"I'll contact you, Nymphadora," Jensen said, almost ardently.

"It's Tonks and-" Tonks started but Jensen was already gone out of the door. She sighed.

"Seems like you have an admirer," Snape commented coldly. Tonks snorted, less than lady-like, "Dane is a masochistic fool,"

"He was going for an Auror," Tonks replied, turning to Snape who appeared nonchalant at that, "And thanks for saving me,"

"I got less than that for nursing you back to health," Snape said, his comment dripping with sarcasm, "but I did have to inform you that the time is tonight," He shot her a look which made Tonks know he referred to the Order.

She nodded stiffly but inside, butterflies hoarded her stomach at the thought of having an excuse to meet Remus. They'd have the whole night to themselves afterwards…

"And the Dark Lord expects no less than perfection in this mission," Snape added, sounding like a warning. She nodded again and he swept down the stairs briskly, soundlessly disappearing out of sight. Tonks sighed. Outside, it was still dark, the air cold and chilly.

Tonks huffed, pulling her robes closer around her frame as she shuffled up the door of Grimmauld. She wanted to drop by before she went to work, and maybe catch a nap when she was around Remus. Smiling, Tonks ran up the steps and opened the door. The hallway was dark and the house was quiet.

Tonks quietly shut the door behind her, hanging up her thick robes, it suddenly occurred to her it was just going to be dawn. _Remus will of course be asleep…_ At that thought, Tonks sighed. She could wait for him.

Tonks silently dragged her suddenly tired body to the kitchen. She opened the door to find it dark. Whipping out her wand, she lighted all the lights and slumped down in a chair, sighing.

She made herself a hot tea before settling down again. Tonks quickly counted and found she'll have to wait at least 3 more hours before Remus will wake at 6. That man was like clockwork. Tonks chuckled as she began thinking about how Remus would actually look like when his alarm clock went off.

She thought of his soft tousled brown hair, his bleary eyes, still tired from sleep. Tonks smiled. His voice…_it would be husky…_

"Tonks?" said the voice she was just thinking about. Tonks jumped, whipping out her wand as she spun around quickly, in the process, kicking over her chair.

Remus stood in the doorway, smiling.

His eyes were twinkling with amusement, his hair tousled. He was still in his pajamas but he'd pull a hand-knitted jumper over it, his wand lowered but in his hand. He looked nice and warm enough for her to want to cuddle up to him.

"Remus," Tonks flushed, lowering her wand instantly.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked, calmly picking up the chair from the floor.

"I was just visiting, after the meeting," Tonks flushed an even deeper red, "I thought to come see you," Her voice reduced to a whisper.

He smiled. In two strides, Remus wrapped his arms around her waist, enveloping her in a warm and safe sanctuary. Tonks sighed, her arms going around his neck, "I was just thinking about you," His voice breathed into her ear.

Tonks grinned, burying her face deeper into his shoulder. He smelt of the Black library, the musty books, and a hint of the soap he used in the shower. She felt his chest shook as he laughed softly.

"What?" She withdrew, looking up at him.

Remus smiled, "I'm just happy," Tonks chuckled, the Remus she knew never does laugh just because. Both of them stood in each others arms, refusing to move to sit.

"Remus," Tonks mumbled, her voice muffled as she couldn't pluck up the strength to tilt her face away from the lovely spot of being buried in his chest, "Have you always fancied me?" She found herself asking what she wondered.

Remus replied softly, "It has been a while now,"

"Not since you met me?" She asked, her voice not concealing her disappointment.

He laughed, "I first met you when you were 5," He paused to chuckle, "your hair was an offensive green at that time. I genuinely thought I made you sick," Remus' laugh became nervous.

Tonks shifted so her head was resting closer to his neck, "No one could ever feel that way about you…" She mumbled drearily.

"I didn't know I was babysitting a little metamorphagus while Sirius went off to one of his many dates until he brought me to the house and left," Remus continued. She could hear the smile in his voice as he recalled, "You were a handful,"

"I'm sorry," Tonks slurred, her words making less and less sense to her. Remus' words soon string together into nothing that made sense but she only registered his soft velvet voice and felt his gentle hands rubbing soothing circles on the small of her back.

"_Moooony!" Little Nymphadora jumped up and down on the sofa, screeching in excitement. _

"_Nymphadora," Remus peered out from the kitchen to see her where she was. She saw his eyes widened and he practically flew across the room. She screamed as her foot caught on the arm rest, making her lose her balance and send her reeling to the floor. She came to an abrupt stop as she fell into strong firm arms, shaken. Tonks began bawling her eyes out, burying her face into his dark green cotton jumper, "Shh, I'm so sorry Nymphadora…sorry…" His gentle hands rubbed up and down her back soothingly. _

"_Why are you sorry?" Tonks' curiosity won over and soon she pulled her face away from his chest and looked up at him with puffy and swollen eyes. He looked at her, stunned, "Answer the question Moony!" She huffed. _

"_I'm sorry for letting you have a scare back there," Remus replied, a little startled by Tonks. His hands were still gently rubbing her arm. _

_Tonks puffed her chest out, "I'm not scared!" She protested, "I'm going to be an Auror one day!" She rubbed tears away with the back of her hand. _

_Remus smiled and nodded. Tonks beamed at him, jumping off the sofa, in the process making Remus jerked forward anxiously, but she landed safely on her feet. She dashed off to the room, tripping over the tip of the carpet and the coffee table. She could hear Remus' chuckling as he went after her. _

"_Nympha-" He started as he entered her room but jumped back as he found a wand tip pointed right at him. _

"_Silence dark wizard!" Nymphadora was standing on her bed and in her hand, in replacement for the wand which she does not possess, was a plastic toy one which genuinely send colorful sparks out from the end of it, "You will now call me Auror Tonks!" _

_Remus feigned a startled expression, bowing, "Yes great Auror," _

_Tonks giggled, jumping down from the bed, "Put your hands on your head where I can see them! Hurry!" She directed as she'd seen Sirius do when they were role-playing and on the muggle television show. _

"_Oh yes of course!" Remus played along, playing his hands on his head. He was grinning. _

"_Stop grinning!" She snapped despite the grin on her face, "Move along now!" She practically giggled out her order. _

"_Now, now Auror, that's not very auror-like," Remus turned to her with a mischievous grin as he heard her laugh. _

_Instantly, she dropped the giggle, "Silence! Drop to your knees at once!" _

_Remus did so, with a smirk hidden as he hung his head. From his peripheral vision, as he saw Tonks about to give another order, he swooped out and envelope her tiny body into his arms. She squealed, dropping her wand. _

"_Got you," He smiled as she laughed, half giggling, "Now, time for bed," _

_Nymphadora pouted, looking up at him. She morphed her hair a flat brown, like his, her grey eyes widened in a plea. _

_Remus looked sorry for a moment before he steeled himself, "No, go to bed," He stood easily with her in his arms. Nymphadora sullenly allowed him to put her in bed. He pulled the blankets up to her chin. _

"_Can you read me a story?" Nymphadora asked. Remus nodded, smiling. He sat down on the bed by her side. He recited a story about the brothers Remus and Romulus to her. Midway, little Nymphadora drifted off to sleep with a small bundle of Remus's jumper in her fist. _

_She didn't feel him pry his jumper gently from her grasp, kiss her on her forehead, switched off the light and left the room…_

To be continued…

* * *

A/N: Big leap for Tonks/Remus. In case you want to know, I struggled with the choice of words, especially from Remus (him being a refined professor and all, very different from me definitely). I hope it didn't turn out too out of character or cheesy, I wanted a 'cards on the table moment'. I'm definitely eager to hear what you think (this could either go very good with the squeals or very bad with the 'eewwwws' and 'it's too cheesy comments). Either way, I would love to hear from you too.

The meeting was a big reference to the Death Hallows part 1 movie, I noticed Nagini's constant presence and decide for her to harass Tonks a while, just like how Voldemort seems to enjoy doing XD

The last bit with Remus babysitting Tonks was sort of a follow up to the dream she had in the first chapter with Sirius.

Long author's note here! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Again, replies for the amazing reviewers that made me smile! ^^  
2lazee2login: Thank you! You've had found out by now but sorry you weren't able to hear them!

AbsurdAnimals: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it; I thought it would appear OOC. Thanks again!

Microwavable-butterflies: Not a problem (: Thank you! I would try to reel in the 'Harry's aspect' from Tonks' story then! Thank you for the feedback!

Starxedlovers: Thank you! Hahahah, as a Remus-Tonks fan, you ought to ^^ I love writing it! Sorry! I didn't write about it in this chapter but you MIGHT here from it in the next few. As you probably know from his 'not drinking firewhiskey for breakfast', Sirius is too busy reflecting after his gigantic scolding from Tonks to talk to Remus (at least that's what I told myself (: ) hehe, yeah, Mad-Eye is starting to appear like a dad in Tonks' life. Thanks! Mild mention about it again in this chapter! Of course Remus and Tonks will talk about it (when the moment comes). Thanks so much for the lovely review!

Ladylovercsi08: Thanks so much! This is going AU so anything can happen (: A hot scene? Hehe, maybe? This is still K+ though, the ratings MIGHT make a change for that. Thanks again!

LaserT: Thanks so much!

Angelic94: Thank you! I'm glad you saw the resemblance; I didn't want to make it too obvious but hope it was there. Hehe, I'm kinda sick of Sirius being a drunk so there had to be a turn somewhere (in my AU fic at least (: ). You're really a fantastic reviewer! Thank you so much for it!

HammersNStrings: hehe, no, that's not a good thought. (:. No more waiting as you have read, hope you liked it. Well…we do have plenty of time to get into Tonks' dreams next time XD. Thanks so much for the review!


	20. Chapter 20: Insecurity

Chapter 20: Insecurity

Tonks stirred; the dream, or rather the memory, still vivid in her mind. She was young then and not taken much notice of Remus who was just another person asked to babysit her in her mother's absence to 'take care of some matters'. That was the first and last time he babysit her; then known to her as Moony despite the proper introduction of addressing him as Remus.

He was well-mannered and did not mind for her to call him Moony, an old nickname his friends gave him. Before the brief mention from Remus, she had completely forgotten about him; Moony, the only babysitter who happily played along with her role-playing apart from Sirius.

Thinking about it made her smile.

She groaned a little as she shifted and attempted to stretch. As she cleared up her mind, fuzzy from sleep, she could feel a gentle caress on the side of neck. Tonks turned her head towards it and opened her eyes to see Remus. He was perched on the side of her bed, his eyes fixated on her. His fingers were barely brushing against the scar on her neck; exposed as her hair fanned out on the pillow.

"Bellatrix will not get away with this," Remus muttered, a dangerous edge to his usual soft voice, his fingers running from the tip of her scar down to where it ended.

She shivered in bated anticipation, "How'd you-"

Gentle eyes shifted from the scar to her eyes, he smiled as she spoke, "I know. So you needn't explain yourself. I can only imagine how it's like for you as it is."

Tonks sighed as his hand gently cupped her cheek.

"You hide more than you let on you do…" Remus said gently.

"Sorry," Tonks muttered, shifting so she was facing him on the warm bed. Then she remembered. Her eyes widening, she jumped up, startling him, "What time is it?"

Remus smiled, "In time for work," He stood and stretched a little, flinching as his knees popped from sitting for probably too long. "I'll leave you to wash up," Remus said before leaving the room. She sat there, listening to his soft footsteps down the stairs. Tonks' hands flew up to pat down her hair, suddenly self conscious of her horrendous appearance in the morning.

Tonks huffed in frustration and dragged herself off, throwing aside the cover to find herself in Remus' room. She was still wearing what she wore at dawn but her boots were removed and placed neatly at the side of the bed. She pulled them on, leaving the laces haphazardly untied and shuffled to the bathroom.

She was right; she looked like the merpeople found in the lake. Tonks sighed, morphing her hair into silky blond so she could neaten it just by running her fingers through it. She smiled at the dream, grinning as she thought about his startled and anxious expression as she'd leaped off the couch. _He'll be a good husband…_ She let her thoughts wander, _a wonderful father…_

* * *

"Morning," Sirius grinned. Tonks was taken aback to see that her handsome cousin was back. He was cleanly shaven; his curly hair looked like it has been _combed_. His black robes looked new and even chic. He looked much better than the last time she saw him.

"Morning, handsome," She replied, sitting down, "did you happen to see my cousin?" Sirius cleared his throat.

"Sorry Moony," He grinned towards the kitchen where Remus emerged, holding two cups of hot chocolate.

Remus shot him a lopsided smile as he leaned over and placed the hot chocolate in front of Tonks, "I know you probably need coffee now but-"

"Hot chocolate is just as good," Tonks smiled, turning her head quickly to peck him on the cheek. He looked startled but pleased.

"Ohh… So some people have been busy last night…" Sirius smirked, that mischievous marauder grin showing, "I've missed a good show!" He lamented dramatically.

"Nip it, Padfoot!" Tonks snapped, pelting dried bread on Sirius. A smile played on her lips as she sipped the hot chocolate, moaning as the sweet and warm drink flowed down to her stomach.

"Moony does make the most delicious chocolate…He _is _more responsible than me…" Sirius held his chin contemplatively, the mischievous look in his eyes betraying his serious expression, "but I'm more handsome! And…I'm more fun!" He protested, looking up like a child.

"And more childish," Tonks grinned, glancing at Remus. He too had a slight smile on.

"Oi! I resent that!" Sirius scowled, "I am a mature-" Both Tonks and Remus cleared their throats, coughing deliberately.

"Oh, so you cleaned yourself up to impress me?" Tonks bit her lips, smiling. Sirius turned to her in what looked like a lovesick git.

Sirius spread his arms theatrically, "You have no idea how much I pined for you my-"

"Stop," Tonks stuck her tongue out in disgust.

Sirius laughed, "You have no idea how Moony do that," He playfully glared at Remus.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind if that were the case. A little Gilderoy Lockhart is good but just…not on you," Tonks stood, finishing up her hot chocolate and helping herself to two biscuits on the table. She walked around to Remus and hugged him briefly, "Off to work," She mumbled into his ear, mildly pressing her lips to the soft spot below his ear.

"Careful," He muttered as they separated. Tonks smiled at both him and Sirius before waving mildly and leaving the kitchen in a rush.

Behind her, she heard Sirius gagging. It echoed around the house followed by a loud smash, which made Tonks smile.

* * *

"Maria Rinn, you say," The clerk looked up at her behind her thick round glasses.

Tonks nodded, her head held high, "I'm here on Scrimgeour's orders,"

The clerk scribbled down her name swiftly, "On what purpose you say?"

"I didn't but Scrimgeour wants to do a check on the security…" Tonks spoke, swiping back her blond curly hair haughtily.

"Aurors…" Tonks heard her mutter, "here at least once a month waving their badge around…" The clerk looked up finally, "I'm sorry but I'm afraid no one is allowed-"

Tonks growled in frustration; whipping out her wand and casted a confundus charmunder her breath. Without a backwards glance, Tonks walked right into the Department of Mysteries. She was going to do a reconnaissance on the place. She had been on guard duty here more than a handful of times and so she knows the outside very well but the inside, she's not so sure.

She was greeted with the sight of thousands of prophecies, lining the shelves. Tonks made quick notes of the area, the rows and how the death eaters should be planned so that they would get that prophecy but at the same time, Harry and his friends wouldn't be completely trapped.

Her reflection caught on a reflective glass and Tonks paused. In the glass reflected the face of an older but beautiful woman. Her eyes were blue, her hair light blonde, and her face ending sharply at the chin; unlike her usual heart-shaped face. She noticed the eye bags she'd left out and instantly morphed them away.

Tonks wandered deeper, her wand at the ready. Then she saw a door, Tonks opened it with her wand to find that this led to the halls where the veil is. She closed the door again swiftly with a wave of her wand; not getting your prints on evidence was the number 1 rule as an Auror. Then she froze, hearing voices getting closer and closer.

Instantly, she ducked behind a shelf.

Proudfoot and Gumboil walked into view. Tonks stopped breathing as they stopped just a shelf away from her.

"What do you think happened?" Gumboil asked, glancing around.

Proudfoot began walking down the row, "I say we Aurors will step up the security,"

The hit-wizards laughed, "I think we'll be idiots lettin' y'all take this,"

"Keep babbling, Gumboil," Proudfoot growled and Tonks rolled her eyes. There always was some sort of an animosity between Aurors and Hit-wizards… She didn't even know why they worked together.

She stood and began to move, behind her Gumboil continued, "Well, it did get invaded on the Aurors' watch!"

Suddenly, her foot nudged the edge of a shelf, causing a glass ball to roll off the ledge, smashing to the ground. Tonks muttered, cursing.

"Who's there?" She heard Proudfoot demand.

Tonks rolled her eyes, morphing back, "it's me," She began walking towards them.

"Nymphadora Tonks?" Gumboil narrowed his eyes in suspicion. _Great…he knows me…_

"They told me to come up to help," Tonks said, sheepishly feigning to try and fix the shattered ball when all she hoped was this wasn't the prophecy Voldemort wanted. A glimpse at the label told her so.

"They sent _you_?" Proudfoot rolled his eyes and Tonks glared at him, offended.

"Well? Is there anything up here?" She demanded.

"Not unless that wizard is as clumsy as you are…" Gumboil muttered. Tonks turned her glare to him but turn on her heels and left nonetheless. She got what she needed anyway.

They went their separate ways with the Hit-Wizard as they went to the lift, "Haven't seen you around, Tonks," Proudfoot spoke.

"I've been really busy," She said light-heartedly, "with family and stuff, y'know."

Proudfoot nodded, "Your family will have loads to deal with, with the recent Azkaban outbreak and all. Half of your mother's side is free again." Tonks would've punched him senseless if the lift hadn't arrived, bringing Shacklebolt with it. Proudfoot nodded to Tonks and Kingsley before taking the lift down.

Tonks made to enter as Kingsley left but he angled his broad shoulders slightly so they got in her way and Tonks got the message.

"Let's take a walk Tonks," Kingsley's deep voice boomed and Tonks nodded, still glaring where Proudfoot has gone down. They began walking and when there was no one, Kingsley turned to her, "what were you doing there?" He hissed, his dark eyes looked worried and angry at the same time.

Tonks rolled her eyes; of course Kingsley will figure it out. The last thing this Auror is was stupid. He was experienced, smart and most of all, professional. "I needed information…" She muttered.

"About what?" Kingsley demanded.

"You'll find out King, just…" Tonks paused, "stay out of my business alright?" She said irritably.

"I just hope you're not doing this for you-know-who," He muttered in a low tone.

Tonks shot daggers at him, "You know perfectly where my loyalty lies," her tone was sharp, like her mother's.

"I do," he nodded, "with Remus," His reply surprised her. _Stupid Sirius… _"Just bear this in mind Tonks, whatever you're doing for _you-know-who_, we'll step in, _Remus_ will step in,"

She scowled at him, "Who the hell do you think I am, Shacklebolt!" She growled, "Stop being so bloody paranoid…"

"Watch yourself Tonks," He warned before walking off. Tonks stared after him. _He's right though…Fighting against the Order wasn't something she could bring herself around doing. She had to find Snape and perhaps ask him for some sound advice from experience; leaving out the Remus part…_

She scowled at Kingsley's retreating back as he disappeared down the dark corridor. Tonks glanced around her before walking briskly back to her cubicle. The Auror office was never neat. Tonks rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at a wanted poster of her deranged Aunt screaming at her. It was pasted on the wall of every cubicle on Scrimgeour's order after Mad-eye suggested it before his retirement.

Tonks could hear murmurings and laughter everywhere. The Auror department was the last place anyone can find some peace and quiet, it was a place for a close knitted department to relax. The warmth she used to feel to this place was nothing now. Her being a spy for Voldemort, no matter how much of an act that is, made her paranoid with the side she's on the whole while.

Now she knew what it felt to be a spy… _you feel on the edge, like there's no where you belonged, like at anytime, both sides could come at you after blood_… There was no where Tonks felt comfortable, not here, not at the Riddle mansion, sometimes not even at Grimmauld; with the grim reminder of her Black bloodline roaring in her ears. It gave her a headache.

She couldn't relax or feel proud for herself about whatever noble things people she loved tried to convince her she was doing. She felt uncomfortable, jumpy and scared.

This is what she is and always have been, she just doesn't realise it; an outcast. Tonks leaned forward, dropping her head on her folded arms on the desk.

Spinners End was somehow comforting to her throbbing head. The rain soothed her mind even as her red hair hung in pathetic tendrils, framing her heart shaped face, hollowed eyes and sullen lips. She was a shell compared to what she was.

She knocked and Severus opened the door.

"Severus," she croaked out, trying to speak but unable to. She couldn't even make herself raise her head to meet his eye. Without a word, Snape opened the door wider for her to enter. Away from the wind and rain, Tonks stood drenched. She didn't want to walk any further. Tonks muttered a spell and dried herself. Severus walked to the kitchen and brought out 2 steaming mug of coffee.

She sat down and took a sip without checking it. Snape was a coffee person, Remus was a tea and chocolate person but Sirius was an alcohol person but Sirius brought her the most comfort in her younger days. A hug chased away the tears; a peck on the top of her head brought a toothy grin.

Amused at the irony, Tonks chuckled, grimacing as it came out like a bitter laugh.

"What's so funny?" Severus asked, sounding least of all interested at all.

"Nothing," Tonks bit her lips, "you wouldn't find it so,"

"Try me,"

Tonks chuckled, shaking her head, "No. I'm not here to share a joke," She sipped the coffee, puckering her face, "It's bitter…" She realized.

"You didn't say that just now," Snape rose to the kitchen, returning with a few packet of sugar which Tonks thought he didn't have.

"I didn't realize that _just now_," She scowled, adding them before sipping, "I went to the ministry. And I got the plan up,"

"Will the Dark Lord be pleased?" Snape asked, his voice surprisingly not as cold as she thought it would be.

Tonks didn't hesitate to nod, "The order…" She bit her bottom lip, "They'll be there, won't they?"

Snape nodded curtly, taking his coffee. _But we can't stop them by telling them. It would ruin the plan…The Dark Lord will know of her alliance with the Order. _Snape didn't have to say that to let Tonks hear it. She sighed heavily.

"You're worried," Tonks looked up when she saw him shift to the edge of his seat towards her. His eyes were surprisingly concerned.

Her eyes widened, "Severus-"

"Morph," He told her earnestly.

"What-"

"Your eyes. Green,"

Tonks frowned, puzzled but did so. Whatever he was doing didn't concern Tonks; she just wanted the advice from him and be on her way. The first pair of green eyes that she thought of was of Harry's. His striking eyes captivated her attention upon the first meeting. She heard Snape suck in a nervous breath.

"Severus," She muttered, "I don't want the order to be involved…" She shifted uncomfortably with the way Severus looked at her, it was almost love, adoration.

"Would you rather the ministry?" He asked, his eyes staring into hers intensely.

"No," She shook her head quickly, the nerves getting to her. The way he looked at her was making her uncomfortable. Tonks shifted in her seat again, sighing as she tried to get rid of the nervousness.

"Am I making you nervous?" Severus spoke softly but it was layered with a sharp Slytherin tongue, almost threateningly soft, unlike the soothing warm softness to Remus's.

Tonks stared back into his dark eyes; seeing love in his eyes was not something she could take. Suddenly, Snape shot forward, covering her lips with his, his hand on her cheek. Tonks' eyes widened and she froze, her wand drawn but stayed in her hand unmoving.

His nose was brushing her cheek, his thin lips kissing hers, coaxing her; like a snake would egg its prey into its reach. His hands were anything but gentle.

Tonks drew back, shoving him away roughly with a hard push against his chest. She raised her left hand, slapping him on his cheek, hard.

Snape looked shocked, his dark and normally narrowed eyes widened. Tonks glared at him, grabbing the first thing she could find; the cup of coffee and tossed its contents into his face, drenching his face and hair with coffee. Thinking up of a dark curse she could easily perform to give him the worst pain possible, Tonks raised her wand but hesitated upon seeing his stunned expression, his eyes never rising to meet hers.

Instead, Tonks turned and practically ran out the door, slamming it behind her. She apparated in the first secluded spot she could find.

As Tonks walked up the steps to Grimmauld, she was tearing her lips away with the back of her hand. She couldn't get rid of the coffee smell on her lips; she couldn't forget the feel of his lips on hers, his chin and nose touching her face. Tonks was about to have a panic attack; her eyes starting to swim with tears until the door flew open

"Good evening," Remus greeted with a lovely smile. He was in a good mood and Tonks couldn't hate herself more when the smile slipped and disappeared. A look of worry filled his eyes. He reached out tentatively to her, "Nymphadora?" His voice was low, soft and gentle; sending warmth tingling down her body. His hands rested on her arms and began rubbing them warm.

Tonks sucked in a breath of air and looked him in the eye, "Good evening," She gave up on forcing a smile and instead, leaned forward, placing her head on his chest.

"Everyone's already here," Remus whispered, placing a comforting hand on her back, he began rubbing soothing circles.

Tonks sighed.

"You sound tired," Remus said. Tonks pulled back, looking up at him. He smiled, leaning down to kiss her but she drew back the slightest inch instinctively. That was all the hint Remus needed. He withdrew, his smile faltering but not leaving his face; gazing at her as if trying to say he understood. Tonks instantly missed his touch as he dropped his hand from her back.

"Remus…" Tonks lifted her hands and scrunched a fistful of the front of Remus's cardigan in both of her hands. She pulled him closer. Tonks felt him press a hesitant but tender kiss to the top of her head.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Remus asked calmly. Tonks hesitated. Severus kissed her… It sounded unbelievable even as she thought it.

"I-" Tonks started, halting abruptly. She huffed, withdrawing to engage eye contact. She had to see his reaction, "Remus-" She said but a pop in the background stop her. She turned to see Snape. He was wearing his normal black cloak. Tonks didn't miss that he'd cleaned up. Snape had the same blank expression on his pale face as he swept past Tonks and Remus to enter Grimmauld Place. Tonks flinched away from him as he passed her.

She stared after him and then turned to Remus to find him watching her.

"Is Severus bothering you?" He asked, his hand touching her arm. His expression was tender with worried lines appearing deeper.

"We-we kissed…" She muttered, watching him carefully. Remus' expression was contained and Tonks could tell whatever he was feeling was bottled up. She looked down in shame, the feel of his lips fresh in her mind.

"May I ask why?" His voice was calm; so Remus-like.

"He kissed me," Tonks replied, feeling her heart almost jumping out of her mouth, "I didn't want to…" She frowned, confused. She could've sworn she saw a flash of rage in his eyes but Remus smiled. He gently cupped her face in his hands, "Remus?"

"Then I have nothing else to fear, apart from how you feel now," Remus' reply was quick and that had a calming effect on her.

"Fine," Tonks almost laughed upon realizing that was what she worried most; Remus' opinion. He nodded, gazing at her.

"Oi! Cousin!" Sirius' appeared in the doorway, startling Tonks. She'd almost hexed him, regretting she hadn't when she saw his cheeky smile, "are you two done snogging? Everyone is waiting for you and it's hard to explain without…y'know…" Sirius waggled his brow.

Tonks glared at her cousin who was standing behind Remus. Remus had an amused smile tugging on his lips.

Feeling bold, Tonks slipped her hand into his. Tonks watched him with a questioning and curious look.

"Yes, I don't mind if they know if you don't," Remus replied.

"I don't," She leaned in, kissing him full on the mouth.

"Ewwww!" Sirius jumped back but Tonks took no notice. They didn't bother when he ran back to the kitchen like a frightened child. She chuckled her amusement before turning to Remus.

Remus was taken aback for a moment as he froze but soon, he tilted his head and pressed his lips on hers, deepening the kiss. Tonks felt herself float, right out of her body and into the clouds. Her spine tingled as he ended the kiss, pecking her at the corner of her lips with a smile on his.

"You're always surprised," Tonks mumbled, savoring the feel of his lips on her skin, his hand on her back respectfully.

"Look at you," He replied, "Young, beautiful. It gives me full reason to be," He reasoned simply.

"You're just handsome, professor," She leaned in, biting her lips.

His eyes flickered to her lips but quickly looked back up, "Everyone's waiting," He reminded in a whisper that didn't hide the sigh in his voice. Grinning, Tonks grabbed the front of his shirt, kissing him again full on the mouth briefly but firmly. They parted and Tonks bit her bottom lip, walking to the kitchen with her hand in his.

The meeting was quick, brief. There was nothing much to report. There wasn't much happening involving death eaters or particularly dark spells being sighted. It was the normal activities they have been keeping surveillance on.

Both Tonks and Snape knew it was because they were preparing something big but reporting it would risk allowing Voldemort to know that Tonks was a spy. The order had to be caught unaware but still knowing in the end, to play the heroes; and that was the part Tonks dread most.

When it was Tonks' and Snape's turn to say something, they both sat there. On a normal occasion, one of them would've stood to speak on behalf of the both of them but neither moved an inch. Tonks' Black streak refused to nudge him and instead, she stared blankly.

"We have nothing to report," Snape spoke after a moment of awkward silence. His voice was calm and it sickened Tonks.

The Order continued the meeting. Tonks concentrated on lacing her fingers through Remus' which was on his lap, under the table, as he listened intently to the speaker. She saw him glancing to their hands but he kept his attention on the meeting, the corner of his lips tugging up as she brushed his palm playfully. He grasped her hand firmly, ending the distraction. She had to tilt her face down so her hair falls in a neat curtain around her face, to permit her to smile in amusement.

When the meeting ended, Tonks instantly turned to Remus, openly directing her full attention to him. She wanted to see a flicker of emotion race through his eyes then disappear, the secret smile he'd always have when he found something humorous but hid it, the look he gave her with his eyes; all that make her love him even more. .

"Remus-" She started but paused when she realized he seemed to be distracted with something. Before she could turn to regard what was distracting him, he stood.

"I'll be right back Nymphadora," he assured and disentangled their fingers and left. Tonks nodded curiously. She loved the way he said her name. His voice made it sound all better all of a sudden.

She watched after him as he disappeared behind the kitchen door which he'd closed on his way out.

Tonks smiled as Arthur shared a joke and everyone around the table burst into laughter, the loudest being from Sirius who roared with laughter, slapping the table.

Her cousin deserves to be happy. He didn't deserve to be trapped in this hellhole. Sirius wasn't so bad, he just wanted company and when he didn't get what he wanted, Sirius drank; the concept was simple but Tonks' smile widened as she saw the tea sitting in front of him. His laughter was true, right from the belly and his cheek, flushed from laughter was finally visible when he got rid of all the facial hair that made him look like a dreg.

The door opened and Remus reappeared, his lips pinched into a thin line; he was upset but Tonks didn't ask even as her curiosity threatens to burst from her mouth. She watched him walk around the chairs to sit by her.

"Tonks? Are you staying for the meal?" Molly asked.

"Yes," She hollered across the kitchen, her eyes fixed on Remus. His lips hinted a smile but never showed it.

Dinner was satisfying for Tonks. She watched Sirius devour his meal with a vigor she'd not seen in her cousin in a long time. All the time, Sirius was involved in the conversation with Arthur and Kingsley, Mad-Eye occasionally throwing in remarks about neglect on the Ministry's part. Tonks kept quiet, watching Remus who sat being the listener rather than actually participating in the conversation.

Soon, the rest cleared out of Grimmauld Place, leaving Mad-Eye, Remus, Sirius and Tonks in the kitchen; the only ones who can afford to stay late having no further commitments. Tonks was glad; they were the people she loved.

"Cuz," Sirius started after shoving a spoonful of ice cream which Remus had bought for him, into his mouth, "d'think Andie would want to see me?" He started tentatively.

Tonks shrugged, "Mum is unpredictable but she misses you,"

Mad-eye said, "Sirius, you shouldn't leave Grimmauld if unnecessary."

Sirius scowled at Mad-Eye.

Tonks turned to her mentor, "For as long as I've known you, you've always been a spoilsport,"

"Does anyone bother about Constant Vigilance anymore?" Mad-Eye said roughly, taking a swig out of his flask which Tonks wish wasn't liquor.

"I do, but I'm just sayin', you're a spoilsport," Tonks grinned, morphing her hair orange, knowing Mad-Eye hated it most. She waited in barely quelled anticipation for him to lash out at her verbally about the hair but he rolled his magical eyes to the back of his head for surveillance before turning away.

She know he know she hated when he made his magical eye disappear and he did that most. It was only fair; she annoyed him and he revolted her with his eye. They chatted leisurely for a while more before Mad-Eye stood, getting ready to leave. Tonks followed, casting glances to Sirius and Remus to tell them she wasn't leaving.

"You aren't mad at me, are you?" Tonks asked cautiously. He'd once lashed out at her as an ambush when she'd done the exact same thing she was doing now; wringing her hand, following him docilely in a way that would make other mentor jealous. He claimed it was a test but she'd rather believe that he was trying to scare the piss out of her.

Mad-Eye didn't reply but continued to the door, turning before he could open it, "Constant vigilance lass, never let your guard down, you never know who or where your enemy is," he ranted off in his usual lecture. Somehow, something annoying became soothingly touching to her now; making her crave the love that only parents could offer to their child.

Tonks felt tears rush to her eyes and she hugged him, not fazed that he didn't respond likewise but happy when he didn't reject it, "I will, you too," she muttered.

Mad-Eye nodded grimly and left, apparating with a soft pop. She entered the kitchen to find Remus and Sirius grinning at each other from across the table, the mischievous Marauders' grin Tonks'd come to recognize. She watched them warily as she sat down.

"You do realise you're the only one who gets away with teasing him don't you?" Sirius said; a grin on his lips.

"I didn't," She denied.

"Oh yeah…because Mad-Eye _loves_ orange," Sirius smirked.

"Shut up," Tonks scowled, "so what if I do get away with it?" She challenged.

"Nothing!" Sirius shrugged, "no need to get defensively Cuz," He leaned forward, that glint in his eyes, "so, what do you say?"

"What?" She replied rudely, not taking his teasing nicely.

"About the visit to Andie's," Sirius said, "I really want to meet her," His puppy dog eyes kicking into play. Tonks was not affected by that, her Black streak allowing her to kick puppies; especially the ones named Sirius.

She looked across the table to Remus who was already looking at her. He nodded.

"Alright…but with you as a dog," Tonks said impatiently.

Sirius grinned, "Yeah, because Andie loves small animals," Tonks rolled her eyes, recalling a time Andromeda threw out her pet goldfish onto the streets when Tonks toppled the bowl by accident, sending the goldfish flopping on Andromeda's favourite couch.

Remus chuckled upon seeing Tonks' expression. He loved the sparkle of youth in her grey eyes, the way her lips twisted up in a mischievous smirk every time she got the best of someone. She tossed her lengthy red hair over her shoulder as it got into her face as she spoke. Remus didn't hear her, he _saw_ her. The cut on her cheek was half healed and he kept an eye on it in case there's an infection; Nymphadora neglected these small things. The scar on her neck was barely visible except to people who especially looked for it. She wore her hair long now and he knew it was because of that.

There was a speck of mud on her sleeve, her boot soles were also covered in mud. There's a small leaf in her hair, a small cut on her thumb; probably from a paper.

She was precious to him. The wolf, which took over his higher order thinking in moments of fury, growled at the thought of Bellatrix and especially Snape coming anyway near her to hurt her in anyway possible. However, Remus absolutely refused to expose Nymphadora to that; a wolf's fury that was so potent, he was convinced it will hurt her, one day. He dreaded the day he'd lose himself; the man, and lash out at her in anger. She deserved so much more and he just couldn't comprehend how he could get so lucky.

_Snape was practically gliding down the corridor, his footsteps making no sound to human ears but his inner nature snarled at the soft thuds of his weight on the wooden flooring of Grimmauld. _

"_Severus," He heard himself call. Snape turned and regarded him with wary eyes. _

"_Lupin," Snape sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. The haughty gesture made him glare, the wolf threatening to pounce, growling. _

"_If you ever go near Nymphadora in that way…" Remus warned, taking a step forward. _

"_Believe me, Lupin, I merely found Nymphadora's talent…useful. I am not in anyway attracted to her," Snape smirked. _

_The wolf snarled, "She's not yours to use," _

"_And Nymphadora's yours to?" Snape raised both brows. _

_He furrowed his brows just slightly, "I would never claim ownership of her. She is her own to have," _I don't deserve her that way_. _

"_Your protective nature amuses me, Lupin. Nymphadora is not a weak witch that needs your protection," Snape sneered. _

I'll still give it to her…_ "Just stay away from her," He heard his voice turn dangerous, his hands clenched into fists. He felt he could bring down walls with this fury; _the nerve of Snape to use Nymphadora like that!

"_I will try my best, if she doesn't come looking for me," Snape narrowed his eyes and regarded his hostility before turning to leave. He glared after Snape; just one moment of recklessness was all it takes for Remus to let the wolf have him right there; tearing him apart limb by limb just like how he should have years back. _

To be continued…

A/N: References, references. I deny any ownership of the story. Some of the lines (if you readers out there think you've heard them somewhere before) are from any movie, show or story I've watched and read but can't remember where I've heard them. So I sincerely apologies to anyone I've 'copywrited'!

Lots of romance going on between Tonks and Lupin here so a huge thank you to all my Tonks-Lupin shippers readers who held on till now. And apologise if Snape made you uncomfortable by kissing Tonks but it was a small hint at the Snape's touching background.

Last line is the reference to, when in the book, Prongs saved Snape from Remus due to Sirius's prank-gone-wrong. ;) Maybe some of you think its out-of-character to have kind Remus think that but who knows? People are unpredictable and more so for animals XD

And last thing, I'm so bloody excited for the last movie! I'll be watching the last installment tomorrow so it better be good. I don't know about you but I'm getting emotional thinking about not having to think about the next movie anymore!

Anyway, enough babbling…

Thank you to all my readers and especially the reviewers for last chapter!

DMSTonks: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the way I portrayed Remus! Oh, I can't promise it will be revealed (about what Mad-Eye and Remus talked about). I hope you enjoy these romantic parts too! About Sirius, this is hush and secret, but yeah, last time I checked, this is AU ;)

Starxedlovers: Thank you! Yes, you'll have to wait to see how it turns out and I'm so sorry for the long wait as I just had to add in some of these few side stories in the time between the raid and now.

PhoenixDownAt20: Thank you so much!

Angelic94: You always leave me awesome reviews! ^^ I'm really really glad you liked that part; it was stressful to write that! Yep, you should definitely keep them crossed for Sirius but the raid won't be anytime soon so unfortunately, you'll have to wait and see! Glad you liked the dream and flashback, I had fun writing it! Thank you so much!

HammersNStrings: Thank you! Remus will but that will be behind the scenes of course! ;) Thanks again for the lovely review!

* * *

Leave me a review to tell me about this chapter! (:


	21. Chapter 21: Kindness

Chapter 21: Kindness

"Would you go?" Tonks mumbled, tracing the patterns on Remus' jumper with her index finger.

"Would you like me to?" He gently took her hand, his thumb caressing her fingers gently pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

"If you want," She replied, not wanting to give him the unnecessary pressure. That's the last thing he need. The premature lines on his face were getting deeper as the full moon approaches. Tonks looked up to see him considering with a slight smile on his face.

"Yes, I want to go," Remus decided, his soft gaze fixed on her. She beamed, nodding. His chest shook as he chuckled. A session of reading became an excuse for Tonks to cuddle up to him. He was warm and his free arm was around her shoulder, she fit snugly in the crook of his arm. It made her drowsy but she can't sleep. She'll oversleep and miss the meeting which Voldemort had asked Snape to inform her about.

She pressed her ear to his chest, hearing his strong heartbeat. Tonks sighed. She could listen forever; and that's what she intend to do for the rest of her life if life itself permits it.

"Nymphadora?" Remus spoke softly, his voice coming off deeply from his chest. She loved the way her dreadful name reverberated around his chest.

"Hmm?" She replied; her eyes blissfully closed. When he didn't reply, she opened her eyes and looked up curiously. Slowly, Remus lowered his head, pressing his lips to hers.

The riddle mansion was quiet. That was the first thing Tonks registered. Apart from the Death Eaters on guard, there was no one else. She entered and the closer she went, she realized that she was the only one there.

She opened the door, walking in with her head held high. Voldemort was hissing to Nagini in another language. She guessed it was Parseltongue; the 'serpent language'. Something only Harry Potter and the Dark Lord could do.

The moment the door open, both master and pet turned to her; Nagini arching its back and hissing.

"Nymphadora, come," he beckoned to her, his chin inclined, "I've neglected our training together."

"No my lord, nothing is more important than the mission now," Tonks bowed as she approached.

"I've always found your loyalty…admirable,"

Tonks nodded, humbly.

"But in the past few days," He walked pass her, "I can't help but wonder if your loyalty lies where it belongs."

"My lord?" She spoke, her tone confused.

"The Dark Mark, Nymphadora," Voldemort hissed impatiently. She froze. Tonks heard the wind stir and the hairs on the back of her neck stood but she forced herself to remain unmoving.

Her body was set alight with hot flames, rushing down her spine. It sent her crumpling to the floor, writhing in agony, screaming her throat hoarse.

As abruptly as it began, it stopped to leave a dull but strong ache in her body. She felt cold fingers wrap around her wrist, yanking it up. The rough yank almost pulled her arm from its socket, Tonks was certain but she went with it limply, still convulsing slightly from the pain. Her sleeve was pushed back roughly to reveal smooth ivory skin.

He hissed and she felt his wand press to her skin. Tonks wanted to struggle. She could _not _be branded now! What would her mother think? What would Remus think? _No, I'm not ready! _

Her skin felt like it was slit open. She screamed as she felt the wand tip line its way down her inner arm, bringing pain as it went. It felt like forever before Voldemort drop her hand. Tonks felt her jaw hit the floor, sending her vision into starbursts. She felt her body crumple to the floor. Tonks opened her eyes to look at her inner wrist.

There wasn't a mark.

There was a deep gash though. Crimson blood was oozing out to the black marble floor.

"Your loyalty is questionable, Nymphadora," Voldemort said, his back turned. His tone sounded impatient.

"I'm a Hufflepuff, my lord," She spoke, keeping her voice steady as she stood, rising from the floor.

"Yes," He turned on her slowly, watching with narrow eyes, like a snake, "I don't doubt the old sorting hat. But I doubt your loyalty because it doesn't _initially _lie with me, does it?"

"No, my lord," Nymphadora's reply was quickly and truthful.

"Tell me, then why is it now?" Voldemort stood, balancing his wand in both his hands. He was quick, calculating, ruthless and smart; Tonks knew she was only experiencing the tip of the iceberg of what Voldemort is capable of.

Tonks maintained eye contact, "it is where I belong. My body response to the change,"

"Yes, changing has been your stronger suits," He smirked to reveal sharp rows of teeth. Tonks inwardly smiled and morphed, "your resemblance with Bellatrix is striking."

Tonks' stare intensify into a glare; she know she needn't hide her dislike of her Aunt from the dark lord, he probably knows it better than she does.

"In character and in appearance."

"I can look like anyone," Tonks pointed out dryly, morphing to become Lucius, Narcissa, Yaxley and finally Harry.

"Yes, your talents will be useful," Voldemort regarded her with mildly amused bloodshot eyes, "Dark magic makes you stronger, Nymphadora. You and your wand feel it," He reached out a hand and Tonks reluctantly but respectfully passed him her wand. She felt naked without it even if she was capable at wandless magic, those are normally accidental.

"My lord?" Tonks spoke as Voldemort examined her wand.

"Tell me your plan Nymphadora," He replied, still holding onto her wand. She watched it; sure he wasn't going to snap it in half before speaking. She spoke of her plan, her idealistic case and her backup. She felt uncomfortable. Her inner wrist was still bleeding. In between her talk about Lucius's role, he wrapped a cold hand around her bleeding wrist and casted a non-verbal spell to her wound. Instantly, it sealed, leaving a scar in his place.

Tonks said thanks but inwardly, she knew she could get it heal without a scar. Now she had a mark of her own.

The room she once occupied in the Riddle Mansion was the same. It was still huge, the white sheets striking her as a painful of the number of nights she'd willed herself to sleep; stuffing her fist in her mouth so that she wouldn't make a sound as she cried.

Tonks shuddered. She was done with that life, now she had a mission to complete; for the order. Tonks sat down, removing her boots. The Dark Lord had invited her to spend the night and when he invited, no one said no. It wasn't a choice.

Tonks kept her robes on so that she could stow her wand away in the hidden pocket. She huddled up on the bed, shivering. When her head hit the pillow, Tonks fell asleep but never soundly.

"Morning Tonks," Kingsley greeted stoically as she entered the elevator, yawning.

"Morning King," She replied nonchalantly. The elevator was vacant except them too. She looked at him meaningfully and he nodded; _good, there wasn't a meeting or any incident while she out. _

The Auror Office was bustling. Scrimgeour had recently requested to step up the security. It was obvious that he wasn't about to buy Fudge's claim to completely disregard Harry's and Dumbledore's claim. Aurors will always be Aurors; skilled but overly paranoid.

Tonks entered her cubicle to see a note on it. She unfolded it, noting the Head of Auror seal at the top instantly.

**Meet me at my office. **

The cursive words were hard to be mistaken for others'. Tonks sighed, pulling herself off her chair; she shuffled to Scrimgeour's office. After knocking three times, Tonks entered upon his permission from within.

Her boss was standing by his desk, "Auror Tonks, have a seat," He gestured. She eyed him cautiously. The last time he'd called her in was when she was AWOL for a few days, "Tea?"

"No thank you," She replied simply, noting that he appeared nonchalant to not being able to feed her Veriteserum. He took a seat in his high backed chair and seemed to be idling his time away, "Sir? May I know what am I needed for?"

"A little impatient, are we?" Scrimgeour turned to her, a brow raised.

"I have a lot of reports to fill," Tonks made a point to emphasize that fact. The sooner she gets it done, the sooner she could leave and not stay overtime.

"We had a few new Aurors in this year and I'd like you to hand them your reports," He told her and her jaw dropped.

"Sir?" Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"You will do another mission for me," He reached into his drawer and pulled out a manila folder; the ones Mad-Eye had which always had 'top secret' practically spelt all over it. He handed it to her and Tonks practically snatched it out of his hands eagerly, "I want you to investigate Werewolf activity,"

"Werewolf?" Tonks opened the folder, glancing over some details.

"Is there a problem?" Scrimgeour leaned over his desk, "I assume your morphing abilities will come in handy in that area of stealth,"

"Yeah…since we don't have a particularly attractive Auror who happens to be a Werewolf and a talented duelist at that…" Tonks muttered.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, they're dangerous creatures but I'm fairly sure I can manage," Tonks nodded solemnly and Scrimgeour nodded.

"Spoken like a true mentee of Alastor Moody." He commented and Tonks smirked with pride. "Give me the report anytime you have it ready," He cracked a small smile and she rose, leaving.

With the folder in her hand, she walked back to her cubicle to find the reports already gone. She could now see the white of her desk which was normally buried under reports. She sat down in her chair, casually looking through the folder. Names such as Greyback, Lupin appeared before her eyes and she was acutely uncomfortable about that. She had the whole list of known or registered werewolf in her hand.

This assignment would be easy for her. All she had to do was walk into Greyback's territory; she doubt the Alpha wolf would have the guts or the means to kill her for fear of the Dark Lord but in case, she would inform the Dark Lord of this.

Tonks' eyes wandered further down to the crimes the werewolves were known to commit. There was of course 'passing of their infliction to the list of kids', robbing, raping, terrorizing civilians. Tonks was appalled. She knew how brutal wild werewolves were but she'd never expect them to actually go against their conscience to commit inhumane crimes. Her eyes went to involvement between various werewolves. She frowned and scrutinized a particular information got her interest.

Furrowing her brows, Tonks stood and left.

Grimmauld Place was quiet. It was still early but Tonks was certain Remus was up. She opened the door and entered, walking down the dimly lit corridor. She could hear Sirius' laughter from the kitchen. When she opened the door, Remus' back was to her and Sirius was just facing the door. They were both laughing over breakfast. Upon her entrance both men looked up, both smiling.

"Hi Nymphie," Sirius teased. Tonks shot him a meaningful glare before looking at Remus. He was looking at her lovingly, his weary blue eyes bearing adoration.

Her determination to demand an answer melted away as she smiled at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Remus stood, pushing back his chair quietly, "I would've came to you if I'd known you aren't."

"I am," She replied, "I'm just certified to leave anytime as my assignment deemed fit,"

"And what is that?" Remus asked, eyeing the folder in her hand. He seemed to have felt her initial confusion and slight anger.

"Remus," She touched his arm gently, "You didn't tell me you were in Greyback's pack,"

He frowned, glancing at the manila folder in her hand.

"You were?" Sirius rose from his seat. Tonks steeled her gaze on her love's face. He seemed to be fighting a battle with himself.

"Remus, tell me," She squeezed his arm.

"It was for a short time," He replied eventually, sinking down into his seat.

"You are his _Beta_! His second-in-command. The most trusted man in his pack," Tonks cried, sitting down in the seat by him in frustration. Remus looked away, refusing to meet her eye, "Are you on a mission at that time? Was it-"

"No," Remus' reply made her flinch, "I made my decision _then_,"

"Mate," Sirius spoke, "You said you'd never join Greyback,"

"He bit you, Remus," Tonks frowned. She was trying to deal with an internal conflict with herself. _Why would he do something like that?_ The crimes Greyback's pack committed was too many to count and heinous; which doesn't even cover the cruelty of the things they do.

"And I never forget that but Nymphadora," Remus turned to her, finally meeting her eyes. They broke her heart. His eyes shadowed with the burden he'd carried all his life, the need for her to understand, "I just did."

"Why?" Tonks found herself cupping his cheek, trailing her thumb on a scar along his face.

"I had to learn. I had to know how _we_ live, how I _should_ be living," Her love spoke with such helplessness, utter desperation. Tonks looked at him and knew what she thought she knew about being a werewolf; the pain was barely the tip of the real ordeal.

"You don't have to learn anything _more_," Tears filled her vision, "You're perfect the way you are,"

The edge of Remus' lips twitched up bitterly.

"Moony," Sirius rounded the table, "You know who you truly are. Your _heart_ is where you truly live,"

Remus forced a smile which deepens the line on his face, "On the moon, even my heart is not spared the change, you know that,"

"And I know it is still kind," Tonks leaned forward, urging him to understand, "The wolf is never what you really are, Remus. You know that, you know I think that."

Remus closed his eyes momentarily as if to calm himself before he spoke, "what is it you need?" He averted her eyes, gazing at the folder. She drew back in surprise.

Tears hung teetering on the edge, "I didn't come to you to ask you about my assignment," She spoke, her voice shaky, "I'm concerned about you."

"I lived through that and I know. I can provide you with all the information you will need," He said and she flinched at his cold tone, contradicting his kind eyes. Tonks could see the sincerity in them but that wasn't what she wanted.

She stood, "I can get them on my own. I just need you to understand. You are who you are. You don't have to fit in anywhere for me to love you," Tonks felt the first droplet of tear run down her cheek and she turned, hurrying out of Grimmauld.

"Cuz…" She felt Sirius' gentle hand touch her arm but she brushed it off and ran to the entrance.

When she opened the door to Grimmauld and felt the warmth of the sunlight on her face, Tonks took a deep breath to calm herself. Her heart broke to think that Remus felt he needed to fit somewhere; eventually turning to the werewolves, resigning himself to fate like that. She winced at the thought of the wild and untamed wolves roaming the woods at full moon, running aside wolf-Remus.

She imagined Greyback, their Alpha, their leader, barking at Remus; his beta. Her breath caught in her throat as she thought of how Remus would have to lower his head to the floor for him, bowing and pledging his allegiance…

"Nymphadora," She felt him before she heard him. His hand was warm on the back of her waist.

"I love you," She turned, pulling him into a hug. His body was tensed; in anticipation for the transformation in a few days. She rubbed his back, knowing he liked it when she did that on the days where the imminent full moon tormented his body.

"Are you going to Greyback?" Remus asked, his cheek pressed to hers. She didn't reply, "Did Voldemort have you work with him?" His voice held a warning growl.

There was no point lying, "Yes," Tonks replied and she felt him gently extract himself from her.

"Greyback is ruthless, Nymphadora," Remus held her arm, "Please, don't go anywhere near him,"

Tonks blinked away tears, laughing dryly, "If I'm going to be your _mate_, I'll have to man up to these things," She saw him flinch at her cutting words and her heart did a double take as it stuttered.

"Nymphadora, I never want you to be my mate that way. You don't have to change for me," Remus spoke gently, his eyes pleading and weary; his hands holding her arms.

She almost softened but she needed him to understand and to think. He couldn't live like that forever; it will hurt him too much, and Tonks will never allow that. She steeled herself, "Remus…" She held his elbows, hesitating before extracting his hold on her, "Please come back to me when you, of all people, have understood that," She backed away, watching as his face fell, his eyes cast downward, a shadow of hurt over his face.

His eyes looked up just as she spun around, holding back her tears. Tonks turned around a bend and apparated before she could rush back into his arms and kiss the grief away.

Remus watched or rather heard his love disapparate. He felt a part of him going away with her with the urge to protect her but another part of him held back. That male pride and stubbornness that wrapped around his mind and his heart so tightly it was nearly impossible to let loose; nearly.

He is a werewolf and no matter what Nymphadora said, nothing will ever change that fact. Remus could never wish for acceptance in the wizarding community but he did wish it from the person he loved most and would spend the rest of his life with.

She is a metamorphagus and living up to the nature of her name, she is unique. Nymphadora wasn't bothered that he is old, had nothing to offer her or that he is a dangerous werewolf. But she is bothered when he looked down on himself and resigned himself to his fate like that; which in Remus' eyes was the lesser of two evils whether for himself or for the people around him.

His struggle to be accepted was what made being discriminated all the more painful. In Remus' time with Greyback, he could never forget that feeling of being carefree where he is just what he is, part human and a wolf on one day of the month. He needn't feel ashamed of who he is when he is accepted by his fellow wolves. On some of the full moon, when his wolf run astride the pack he led on a hunt, Remus could feel pride and happiness swell in the beast's chest as it did in the man's chest upon the preceding morning.

At that time, he was a comfort and his own sanctuary to finally have found acceptance but now, it was a reminder of what he did, the horrible things he had to.

Remus knew what Nymphadora wanted from him but it was something his own mother had encouraged him to do and failed; accept who you are, be proud about it but keep that part of you that is still human, still that kind, intelligent and gentle man instead of completely giving yourself over to the feral wolf.

"Moony," Sirius touched his shoulder, "don't worry, she'll come around,"

Remus looked up and turned around, closing the door quietly, "No, Padfoot. She wouldn't,"

He wouldn't forget the determination in her gorgeous grey eyes, her beautifully set expression and the way her petite and seemingly fragile frame would tremble and shake when she struggled with her anger and her frustration. Like all Blacks but also completely different from them, Nymphadora's beauty lies in her determination, her stubbornness and her rage.

Despite himself, Remus couldn't help but smiled at that thought. Yes, he could at least try to accept himself as a man who turns into a wolf only once a month, be proud instead of ashamed of who he is. He would try for Nymphadora.

"Padfoot, I will,"

Tonks couldn't get rid of that look on his face; that forlorn and hurt expression on his pale but handsome face. The moment she arrived at her destination, Tonks decided that she never want to see that look ever again.

She entered the Riddle Mansion after bypassing the guards at the gates. Tonks headed straight for the quarters of the Dark Lord. At the door, she saw Nagini on the floor. It slithered over to her and hissed.

"I request an audience My Lord," Tonks spoke, keeping her volume normal, her tone calm.

The door opened. The room was huge and well decorated. Black satin curtains hung over the bed which looked untouched. In the huge armrest, Tonks glimpsed the Dark Lord.

"My Lord," She bowed.

He rose and Tonks stiffened. She'd never interrupted Voldemort like that before; who knows what treatment she was going to be facing. It would be either of the two extremities.

"Speak Nymphadora," His tone was calm and Tonks relaxed slightly.

"I request to know the location of Greyback and his pack," She kept her head angled down respectfully as she thought she should while having a request.

"Why?" His question came out lazily and Tonks instantly know that the pack didn't mean much more than pawns to him.

"The Head of Auror requested my expertise to learn more of Werewolf activity. I wish to effectively complete that task," _and learn more of what Remus was actually experiencing then. _

"Rufus Scrimgeour?" The Dark Lord turned, his tone turned of that of interest.

"Yes My Lord,"

"Keep it brief, Nymphadora, with your findings,"

"Of course," She said submissively. She heard and felt a slight stir in the wind and she gasped as Voldemort forcefully inserted the location into her mind. She stumbled back in shock and instinctively, pulling out her wand. When she realized that her wand tip was pointed directly at Voldemort, she hastily lowered it.

"Your reflexes are well taught," Voldemort's smooth voice made it almost sickening for Tonks to hear a compliment from him, "Alastor Moody?"

"Yes, My Lord," She bowed.

"You may leave,"

Tonks nodded stiffly and retreated out of the room, disregarding Nagini who hissed at her. She had more important things to do.

The nagging thought of what a powerful Legilimens Voldemort is, bothered her. She was lucky he didn't scope her memories while he inserted them, _without _even a little eye contact or his wand…

The so-called underground was a sorry excuse for headquarter. It was in the middle of a forest. The ground was damp and muddy, instantly making her clean black robes filthy but unlike most Blacks, Tonks didn't curl her lips in disgust or disdain. She didn't mind being filthy and in fact, splashing around in a wet muddy puddle had been her favorite pastime after a rainy day back in the days when she was younger; much to Andromeda's disgust.

Tonks treaded carefully across the terrain, she didn't want to fall flat on her face; her pride disallowed her to. Her wand was kept in her hand and the folder charmed down to size and hide away in her robes pocket.

The forest was quiet.

Soon, as in her memories planted, she saw a wooden structure but failed to glimpse any werewolf. She casted a soft homenum revelio to find out that there is not a single soul in that house. Softly, Tonks veered off to the left. She saw a patch evident of a smothered fireplace. From her implanted memories, this was where the werewolves cuddled at for speeches from their Alpha. It was also empty.

All of a sudden, a dreadful cry of anguish shattered the silence. It was followed by howls of laughter and Tonks knew where to go. Furious, she ran towards the noise, stumbling once or twice on the forest floor but she went on relentlessly.

She drew back in shock. Greyback was standing in the middle of his pack. Some were sitting while others were jumping in excitement but all of them were cheering and wolf whistling. In Greyback's hand, he was yanking a clump of a young boy's brown hair. He looked no more than 10. His face was caked with dried blood and mud, streaked with tears. His arms and legs were filled with tiny cuts and gashes. He was wearing a set of star-covered pajamas.

Instantly, Tonks know this kid has been kidnapped by Greyback.

"Release him!" She shouted, hearing her voice come out as a snarl. All the werewolves leaped from their positions and held a hostile stance in her direction. Some of them glared at her with hate, some with lust and others with fear or nonchalance.

Greyback narrowed his eyes at her, "Nymphadora Tonks," He growled her name.

"Release him," She warned, raising her wand. She watched as Greyback eyed her wand before jerking his head towards a middle-aged man beside him. That man had shaggy blonde hair, caked with mud. His shabby rags he called clothes hung onto his muscular frame. He wore hole-filled pants. He was the Beta; Tonks guessed.

"Step aside brothers and sisters," he said and they obeyed, keeping a keen eye on Tonks.

She glanced at the Beta mildly before turning to Greyback, "Release the child," Tonks glared, her tone calm and dangerous.

"The Dark Lord has no power here," Greyback sneered, "this is our territory,"

"Power…" Tonks threw her head back and surprised herself as her laugh echoed around the forest eerily, "Is to be claimed," She waved her wand and five werewolves closest to her dropped to the ground, clutching their stomachs as they kneeled and groveled. Greyback looked at them sharply, "Loyalty is to be taken," She kept her eyes on Greyback, downing another few werewolves. Some of them grimaced while others groaned in pain.

"You have no power here, Witch," He spat, yanking the boy's hair harder and the boy screamed.

Tonks found herself laughing instead of seething with anger. She always surprised herself, "Watch me," With her eyes fixed on Greyback and with barely a twitch of her wand, Greyback's Beta fell to the floor. Tonks glanced over at the remaining standing Werewolves. There were mostly women, some looking scared, others furious but she wouldn't resort to that till absolutely necessary.

The Beta screamed in sheer agony, writhing on the forest floor.

"I am known for my loyalty Greyback," She spat his name, "But the world has not seen what I'm capable of and neither has you," She narrowed her eyes, keeping an eye on Greyback's grip on the boy. The poor child was terrified and obviously in pain. Greyback's grip on him could not be gentle.

"Stop and I'll let the boy go," Greyback growled, eyeing his pack nervously. Tonks knew the full moon was waning and they were all more powerful if they let the moon takeover their senses but they are also weaker after torture.

She laughed again, this time, she was terrified upon feeling genuine amusement tickle her from her stomach, "You know better Greyback, than to speak terms with me," Her wand was twitching in excitement from the power she was releasing; it irked her but times like this, _this was necessary_; she told herself.

Greyback sneered at her but soon, the scream of his Beta doubled and a couple of his pack members started falling flat on the ground, writhing.

"Stop!" The Beta screamed, crawling his way over. Tonks smirked, she knew better. She took a step back but the Beta continued crawling towards her. She knew he was about to reach his limits of his pain threshold, everyone had a breaking point and she was surprised how truly weak Greyback's Beta was. Compared to Remus, this man had no morals. He had no bravery, loyalty and pride. She eyed him with disdain.

"Beg!" She demanded, smirking.

Tonks watch the Beta open his mouth to do whatever she asked but before that, Greyback let out a feral cry and she looked up in time to see him shove the boy to the floor and whip out his wand, shooting curses at her. She smirked, her wand responding in anticipation for a challenge; it loved those. She parried his spell away lazily.

"Avada Kedavra!" Greyback roared, the jet of green heading straight for her. Tonks used the spell Voldemort himself had taught her. They were ideal for handling weak unforgivable curses. She muttered the incantation, watching as Greyback's eyes widened. A black circle formed in front of her and the spell went right into it, with another line of incantation, the black circle shrunk and then expanded rapidly, catapulting the spell into a tree bark.

It exploded and the tree creaked and started to fall. In the blink of an eye, Tonks hit it with a spell so it fell aside, away from the werewolf children she glimpsed.

Greyback stared, his blue eyes filled with horror but mostly rage.

As the racket stopped and settled, Greyback's Beta's cries of plea was heard, "Please! I _beg_ you! Stop!" He was already at Tonks' feet, groveling for mercy.

Tonks looked at the terrified boy and the writhing werewolves. She stopped the spell in an easy flick. She turned and saw the look of horror in the children's faces. They were werewolves. Tonks could see the scars on their faces and the shabbiness she saw common in werewolves. She felt the thrill fade into realization, the power slip away and the guilt sink in.

_What have I done? _

"Take the boy!" Greyback spat, "And go back to whatever Noble _pit_ you came from!"

Tonks was taken aback but she steeled her expression. She beckoned to the boy. She saw him hesitate, glancing at Greyback once before bolting from his position from the floor. He ran to her with a limp. She took his small hand in hers and turned, walking out of the grasp that the unconscious Beta had on the hem of her robes.

"You might want to change your Beta," She called back casually, squeezing the boy's hand as she walked away. As they walked out of the sight of the werewolves, Tonks glimpsed down at the boy; scared to see the terrified face of the boy but instead, he looked at her with awe, respect and admiration.

"Thank you for saving me," The boy said; his voice hoarse from screaming.

Tonks was taken aback. She'd just scared the living daylights out of the werewolves and this boy and now he was thanking her? Bracing herself, Tonks spoke with something she always knew she had, something she was proud of, something her father had given her to set her aside from the rest of the family; kindness, "You're welcome,"

To be continued…

A/N: Firstly, I'm sorry for spending more than a month for the update! I've been really really busy and sort of struggling to cope. I can't really promise when the next will be but I'll do whenever I find the time!  
The rating for this story has changed for mild violence and maybe a little gore?  
Anyway, more emotional turmoil for Tonks and Remus here. Hope you enjoyed it! And homage of the third movie for Sirius' line; which I've always liked (the line and the movie).

Thank you to all the reviewers and reader, you guys keep this story going!

DMSTonks: I truly apologise for the long wait! Thank you!

Angelic94: Thank you! I'm so glad you like Mad-Eye; he is so difficult to get right at these moments. Glad you understand Snape, though I was slightly traumatized writing it. About lily's and Snape's relationship, I was touched by the last movie so you can be almost sure that this story will incorporate some lily/Snape romance! Yeah! More Remus-effort for their relationship here, hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much!

Anonymous . Individual : Thank you so much!

Starxedlovers: I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, I definitely agree with the creep factor of the kiss but…you know how it is, a story is a story (: Thank you so much!

AbsurdAnimals: Thank you so much! Well, let's see shall we? ;)

HammersNStrings: Haha, I cringed too while writing it. I'm glad you understood! I'm so sorry! Surely this update has not been quick! I'm so sorry for the wait once again! Thanks for the review!

* * *

Please drop me a review about this chapter!


	22. Chapter 22: Scars

Chapter 22: Scars

Upon the boy's assurance that his parents had always apparate with him, Tonks apparated with the boy near her flat. As promised, he wasn't nausea or even green in the face; in fact, despite the little cuts and scratches along his body, he had a smile on his face. Tonks hesitated to bring this boy to the Auror office immediately; she didn't know what held her back but she just couldn't pull this boy out of Greyback's camp only to send him into another torment in the Auror's Office for another round of interrogation.

Tonks held the boy's hand in hers, ignoring the looks of suspicion others had on her and the boy as she guided him up to the flat. There was still a slight limp in his leg as he climbed the stairs and eventually, Tonks piggy backed the poor boy up the flight of stairs; watching her own steps in case she sent both her and the boy to the ground by tripping.

Tonks let the boy down as she opened her flat. Her flat looked different. No clothes strewn the floor, the books were stacked by the shelves neatly. The place even smelt different. It smelt of a slight tinge of orange flavored soap.

She gently guided the boy further in and was greeted by the sight of Remus sitting at the table. He seemed to be brooding till he looked up and saw her.

"Nymph-" He paused, his eyes wandering to the filthy and hurt boy by her side. The boy was looking at Remus, his eyes wide as he took in the scars on Remus' face.

"Jason, can you do me a favour?" She knelt down to his level. He nodded solemnly, tearing his eyes away from Remus, "Can you give yourself a bathe in the bathroom, in the shower stall?" She said gently.

The boy bit his bottom lip, nodding.

"I'll get to your wounds later, alright?" Tonks added and the boy nodded. Tonks stood and guided the boy to the bathroom and made sure he used the shower stall before leaving him to change and bathe.

When she walked out of her room, she saw Remus standing hesitantly in the middle of her mini living room.

"Nymphadora," He breathed out before taking a few strides, covering the distance between them and embraced her. Tonks sighed as her body sank against his warm one. His hands rubbed her back, "are you alright? Are you hurt?" He whispered, pulling apart to examine her with his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked into his worried and tender eyes, scanning her face, her arms for any visible cuts and bruises.

"Remus…" Tears blurred her vision, "_I_ hurt them…" She could feel Remus tense and freeze even as she lean into his embrace, burying her face into his chest. She felt horrible. After spending her whole life hating her cruel family, she now couldn't live with herself; feeling absolutely revolted at herself.

"Tell me about it," Remus spoke, his voice velvet and tender, coaxing her. She could feel the tension leave his body.

Tonks hesitated but then she realized that Remus didn't hide himself from her. He had the courage to come to her flat despite their little disagreement earlier.

She looked at him, "I am a monster, Remus. I'm just like Bellatrix is. I tortured them; tormented them."

"You are not her," Remus cupped her face between his hands, speaking in that firm assuring tone, "Believe yourself. You know who you are. Just as I know who I am,"

Tonks smiled, feeling him rub her back warm.

"I can be him. The person you see," Remus pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, "Someone worthy of your love,"

"More than worthy," She breathed, pressing in for more. His lips were hot and sensual against hers. Remus had the gentlest lips. It made her melt. She tugged him closer and they stumbled back onto the couch, with Remus beneath her. Tonks was reluctant and absolutely did not allow their lips to part even for a moment. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, thundering in her ears.

His fingers intertwined with hers to prevent any agonizing temptation from them. Her other hand, however, was splayed upon his chest as she straddled him. Remus rested his hand on the curve of her waist, steadying her on him. She heard herself emit a soft moan into his mouth. She was pleased when her hand slipped up to grasp his hair and she heard a soft growl at the back his throat.

She let her thoughts wander blissfully around one man, _Remus, Remus…-_

"Tonks?" A small voice called. They jumped apart, startled. There Jason stood. He looked fresh and cleaned apart from the dirty clothes he had worn back as Tonks didn't have any clothes his size for him.

"Jason," She beckoned to him. At the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Remus trying to inconspicuously pat down his hair and she couldn't help but smirk. Jason shuffled over and sat down between her and Remus on the sofa.

"Hello Jason," Remus spoke, his voice hoarse but gentle, "I'm Remus," He held out a hand for a handshake. Jason took it, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Hello," The boy's hesitation slowly disappeared and he smiled toothily.

Tonks drew her wand and cleaned his clothes. Then she lifted his arm gingerly. Cuts and bruises were covering every part of his pale skin. She lifted her wand in her other hand, muttering the healing spells she'd learnt from Mad-Eye. From the corner of her eye, she saw Remus take out his wand and started on the boy's left.

Soon, they worked their way up his chest where it was obvious someone had punched or kicked the poor child. Tonks winced as she healed it. By the time she was done, it was almost noon. She let the kid rest in her bedroom while Remus try to cook up something edible since cooking was out of the question for Tonks.

"Greyback has committed his life to _bestowing_ the infliction on others. Biting children and then raising them as werewolf children," Remus explained as he made her some coffee.

"That's sick," Tonks said, watching Remus' reaction cautiously. He smiled wanly, as if to assure her uncertainty, "The Dark Lord most definitely didn't instruct him-," She paused. She'd said it. The words 'dark lord' practically flowed out of her mouth, almost too smoothly; it scared her at how fluent and natural it was for her.

"Tonks," Remus spoke, approaching the table. She blinked and looked at him, lost, "Greyback is depending on him for a living. He had to do some contributions to Voldemort, to make the werewolf seemed valuable," He explained as if he hadn't heard her slip.

"Voldemort," She made sure to emphasize it, more for herself than for Remus, "is sick."

She reached for the coffee but felt Remus's warm hands wrap around her wrist. He turned her hand over so the cloth fell back to reveal the ropey scar where the dark mark usually would be at.

"Yes, he is," Remus winced, and tenderly ran a finger over the scar. Instinctively, she flinched and her body tensed in anticipation. His eyes flickered up, noticing her reaction, "You don't deserve to live like this-"

Tonks stood, interrupting him. If he didn't stop, Tonks was certain she'll crumple into a heap right there and sob her heart out, "We're at war," She steeled her tone, "this is my mission," She averted his gaze, not wanting to see pity in them.

"I'll do anything to swap our places," Remus closed his eyes briefly, his hands holding hers. She glanced up and in that moment of eye contact with his tender gaze, she knew she didn't need anything more. She had everything; she had Remus and he loved her.

Remus turned out to be a wonderful cook, by Tonks' standards. Jason wolfed down the meal and began yawning. Upon leaving the bath, Tonks found the boy curled up on her bed, seemingly waiting for her to leave the shower. She smiled, sitting down on the bed by the boy, careful not to wake him.

The boy's brown hair was soft to the touch; his rosy cheeks were slightly married with traces of cuts that she'd tried her best to heal. His almond shaped eyes were closed. Tonks hesitantly touched his cheek gently with the back of her fingers, just like how Remus always did to her. The boy stirred and scooted closer to her.

Tonks gently carried him so his head was propped up on her pillow and he was tucked under the blanket. She smoothed out his hair, relishing the feel and that warm sensation that crept into her chest as the boy turned and snuggled up to her.

She gazed at the boy, realizing for a moment there, how he resembled Remus. From the brown hair to the blue eyes he had. For a moment, Tonks imagined his brown hair flashing red, then pink then back to brown. _He'll be their child… their beautiful and perfect child-_

"Nymphadora," Remus' soft voice brought her back out of her reverie, "is he asleep?"

"Yes, he's so tired," Tonks replied and watched as Remus rounded the bed and took a seat by the sleeping boy. Tonks smiled. This completed her picture; her family.

"Remember, we're going to your parents' tonight," Remus told her and Tonks could've sworn her eyes widened to twice their size.

"Sh-" She caught herself before the word could leave her mouth. She glanced down at the sleeping child and corrected, "Crap. We'll have to cancel. We can't bring Jason to their house or leave him here all by himself,"

Remus' lips cracked a small smile as a thought formed in his head.

"I think I've disappeared from their lives long enough to have a child," Tonks grinned, half-jokingly, "Imagine that, me as a mum!" She laughed, trying to quell her laughter. However, she glanced up to see that Remus' smile was gone and he was looking at the boy almost forlornly; furrows forming in between his brows. Her laughter instantly came to a stop, "Remus?" She practically whimpered.

Tonks recognized that look. It means he was thinking and she didn't like it when he thought too much.

He looked up at her; like a deer caught in the headlights. For a moment, Tonks' heart skipped a beat as her eyes met his, "Yes Dora?"

She stopped breathing. It seemed so natural for him to call her that which was only used by her father; who hadn't used it often either. The way he said it, the affectionate tone that melted its way into her heart left her yearning for more.

"Are you alright?" Tonks choked out, realizing he is watching her expectantly.

Remus chuckled, "fine. Is it okay if I called you Dora?"

"Fine, sure," Tonks replied quickly, too quickly. Remus laughed softly. She blushed and stood up slowly, careful not to wake Jason, "I'll inform my parents…" She muttered before slipping out of the room. Grabbing a hold on her owl, she sent it on its way upon attached a note she hurriedly scrawled out.

The night found them crammed onto Tonks' small sofa, her body pressed up against his, her arms wrapped around his torso and her head resting on his chest. His chin brushed against her hair as he shifted his head, his arms comfortingly around her.

"What do you intend to do with Jason?" Remus asked, his voice reverberating in his chest deeply.

"I don't know," She realized, her eyes half closed.

"Greyback couldn't have been happy with you," Remus said with a chuckle and Tonks followed suit upon hearing his.

"He'll have to live with it," Tonks huffed, retorting in that childish tone she still had. Remus chuckled again, kissing her on the top of her head. She sighed and pressed her head closer to his chest. She could almost hear his heart if she listened really intently.

"He will take it badly," Remus warned.

"Yes, he will but he can't do anything about it," she smiled, kissing his neck.

She heard a soft sigh escape his lips as he gently squeeze her in his embrace, "I owe Mad-Eye," Remus nuzzled the top of her head gently.

She frowned, "why?" Tonks tilted her head up so that her lips could touch his chin. Rough stubble had grown over the days.

Remus smiled, "He brought me to you, in more ways than one," He kissed her.

"What do you mean?" She was puzzled. Sometimes, Remus spoke in riddles and she was bad at deciphering those.

"Nymphadora," He rubbed her back, "he is the reason I faced my feelings for you. I could and would never have put you up to this if I were on my own. I could never do that," His gaze was achingly tender.

Tonks sighed, in frustration and fatigue, firmly pressing her lips to his again before pulling apart to speak, "You're perfect Remus. When will you actually see that?"

"How can I see something that's not there?" He said in resignation.

"If only you could see what I see…" Tonks said, cupping his cheek in her palm, smiling.

"An old, poor, dangerous werewolf," Remus sighed, his eyes slightly lolling to the back of his head as he melted into her touch.

She huffed in frustration.

"But I know who I am, I'm trying to accept that," He continued calmly, "to believe and I so badly want to believe I'm _him_, Nymphadora," His blue eyes flashed in a moment of frustration and slight anger as he spoke.

"You already are," She jumped up, feeling sudden need for him; the way his eyes flickered with emotions, how his lips moved as he spoke tender words... Tonks pressed her lips to him in a kiss that was anything but slow and gentle. She took his bottom lips in hers. Her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at them gently. She needed him to understand, to feel how it is like for her.

"Nymphadora," He breathed in between their kiss before finally pulling apart, "you don't have to feel obliged to do anything for me," Remus said breathlessly.

"Oh Remus," She leaned in, yearning for the feel of his lips. His hands were frustrating restrained with Remus' unyielding self-control. Tonks pressed her cheek against his, feeling the comforting prick of his stubble. Remus trembled as he felt Tonks' hot breath blowing on the side of his face. She kissed the soft spot at his ear, "I love you so much," She moaned, her hands grabbing his as she sat up.

"Nymphadora, I don't deserve this," His voice was hoarse as she placed his hands on her hips, praying he would quickly lose it. He stopped short in what he wanted to say, taking on her lips with his.

"Keep this up and you'll be calling me 'Tonks' for the rest of your life," She whispered, nuzzling her face into his neck. He was breathing hard, his lips red and his face flushed but his eyes were calm, contemplative as they looked into hers.

"No, Nymphadora. We can't," His hands touched her shoulder and gently, he adjusted them to be in a more respectable position. Her eyes flashed with anger and she sat up abruptly.

"Listen to me," She stated firmly. Remus was sitting up slowly, watching her evenly, "we _can_, I want to. For Merlin's sake Remus," Tonks found herself clenching her hands into fists, "can't you just lose it for once, all the rational thoughts?" She lunged forward and cupped his face in her hands.

As much as Tonks wanted the reply to be so much different, she knew what it would be, "I can't. Control and restrain governs my life. I'm a werewolf, Nymphadora," He swung his leg over the side of the sofa.

Remus stood, putting some safe distance between them so that he was out of her reach; his temptation, "Without control…you don't know what I'm like,"

"One day, Remus, I will know that side of you too," She stated firmly and Remus drew back in something akin to horror.

"Nymphadora, you're making this more difficult than it already is," He spoke through gritted teeth and Tonks flinched at the tone.

"You promised me 3 requests," She spoke, averting his stare, "You kissed me for the first." She smiled at the thought. Remus' eyes soften as he too recalled, and held her stare in his gaze. She could almost see that sweet recollection right before her eyes, "and I have 2 now,"

For a moment, Remus' brows furrowed.

She smiled, holding out a hand to him, "come back to me,"

Remus's gaze held her evenly. They were contemplative and careful before he let out a breath and spoke, "Nymphadora, how can you even think a request was necessary," He gave in, taking her hand. Tonks relished the feel of his warm hand in hers.

"I'm not done with it," Tonks waited to him to sit before she laid her head on his shoulder, "come back to me, _always_." She nuzzled her face into his neck, taking in his musty and subtle scent that was always him. She loved it. It smelt like books and warmth, if it were to have a smell, like home.

Remus sighed, covering her hand in both of his. She seemed so fragile as her eyes begged him to stay, to come back to her side. The way she reached out to him was beyond any form of defense Remus could build against. He'd looked into his eyes and saw her. In his heart and soul, he knew she had never bared herself like that.

"Yes, always," He mumbled before he could think it through but the way it tumble out of his mouth surprised him. It was easy to say and he truly believed he will do it; in the moment of bliss with the feel of her warmth on him, it felt possible, easy. He felt her lips curve into a smile against his neck.

"Lie down with me," She squirmed back and found a comfortable position on the couch, shifting to make space for him. Tonks saw his doubtful expression and sighed, "I will behave. Until you think we are ready," She promised sincerely. Still guarded, Remus lay back and smiled at her, "So, what did Mad-Eye tell you?" She began, sounding casual but the withering look Remus was giving her told her he'd seen right through her ruse.

The truth was she was dying to find out what her old surly mentor could say to convince such a stubborn man otherwise, of the beliefs he'd held close to his heart since childhood. Tonks liked to think her beloved mentor hadn't resorted to violent means; like holding Remus hostage at the tip of his wand, for example.

Remus smiled, "He is a part of you, do you know that?" Tonks drew back in feign, and partially genuine, horror.

"Don't say that, Remus!" She pouted and he chuckled.

"You have _that_ tone," the statement was suggestive of anything but Tonks got it instantly; having heard it for years. It was what Mad-Eye was famous for, _that _tone that often scared the life out of Tonks.

She grumbled, "At least he's a great wizard and mentor…"

Remus laughed, "You have some of his mannerisms too," He wrapped a loving arm around her and Tonks sighed in bliss. His fingers absently ran through her long purple hair. As Remus gazed at her, Mad-Eye's words struck him again.

"_Lupin, what is it between you and Nymphadora?" The gruff old man asked less than politely as Remus quietly pushed the door close, leaving a small gap._

_Remus was stumped. Of all the people to know, it had to be Mad-Eye who was like a father to the woman he loved, "N-nothing," _

"_Don't lie to me Remus! I see right through you," Mad-Eye barked. Remus literally jumped. He wasn't scared, he was terrified. Remus gulped. Mad-Eye seemed to already be making good on that threat. His magical blue eye looking at him; 'seeing right through' poor Remus._

"_We…" Remus opened his mouth to reply. Both Mad-Eyes' eyes were trained on him. He wanted to share how he felt, at least to someone but Remus realized there was nothing to tell. He loved her and that was it. He didn't have any plans, he couldn't have any plans; he's a werewolf, a poor and old one at that that didn't deserve a place in Tonks' heart. And yet, he did; he could feel it. _

"_Stop stammering!" Mad-Eye snapped, "Step it up Remus. Nymphadora cares about you. In all her years of Auror training, of all the eligible male Aurors at the office, there isn't one she took a second glance at but you. You, she looked at and lingered on more than a handful of times." _

_Remus blinked, he didn't realize Mad-Eye noticed, "Mad-Eye, you know I have nothing to give her," He sighed wearily. _

_Moody leaned in and stared at him with both eyes and growled in a hoarse voice, "If I'm not mistaken, Remus, with Nymphadora, you only have to give yourself. That will be sufficient for her,"_

_Remus just couldn't comprehend why it was worth it for Nymphadora. He's just Remus, just the quiet bookworm who happened to be a werewolf. "But it's not enough for me!" He shot back forcefully, "I want to give the woman I love more than just me but I can't-" _

"_So you'd rather deny her of everything!" Mad-Eye's sharp remark hit home. That was the issue he was agonizing over the whole time; whether to give what he could, which wasn't much, or to not give her anything at all and save her the pain and misery. Remus is a coward; he liked to think that. He didn't have the courage to be with Nymphadora then face her when she discovered what beast she'd gave herself to. The regret and hate; Remus would rather die then see that look on her beautiful face._

_Remus turned away, feeling the fatigue eating at him. _

"_We're at war, Remus," Mad-Eye's tone lowered in volume but not intensity, "people die. Nymphadora can die. Merlin knows this mission kills her and only you can bring her back," Remus averted his eye, knowing that was true, "and you know, she is the only one who can truly help you live," _

"_I don't know what to do," Remus buried his face into his hands, running it through his hair. _

"_You love her, Remus. If there is a time for this, this is it," Mad-Eye limped away, standing outside Nymphadora's room. The door was left ajar and he looked inside. Remus glimpsed a tinge of pride radiating off as he laid eyes on his last and most promising mentee of the few he had before leaving, the clonking of his wooden leg fading as he left. _

_Remus knew Mad-Eye is right. _

_Even as he stood gazing at Nymphadora, it seeped right into his bones as it did when he felt cold at night, without the comfort of a fireplace or a warm jumper; it caressed his heart, comforting him, when he shuddered at the thought of the next moon._

_It is love. _

_His love for her touched him thoroughly, as did Nymphadora's love for him. That was the truth he had refused to accept; Nymphadora loved him and he loved her back, a thousand times over. _

"I love you," He mumbled, grazing his lips on her hair. He glanced down when she didn't reply or even move to acknowledge him. Remus smiled in amusement as he finds her asleep. He watched till her eyes were wandering aimlessly under her eyelids and she was in a deep sleep. Her lips moved and mumbled incoherently as her hand grasped the front of his jumper in a fist. He sighed, placing a hand over hers that grasped his jumper, his thumb caressing the back of her hand.

"Remus…" Remus was startled to hear his name, muffled, and he glanced down to see Tonks still asleep, her face buried in his jumper.

Remus woke the next morning as he felt a tug. He stirred, opening his eyes to see Jason standing by him, timidly tugging on his jumper sleeve.

"Hey, good morning," Remus started to get up only to find that Nymphadora has got an arm over his chest and her leg over one of his. Her head was resting snugly on his shoulder blade, her face half buried in his shoulder. He smiled, gently extracting himself before getting up to wash up.

He did a quick job, all the time keeping an eye on the boy who was watching on with a curious expression.

"Jason, are you hungry?" Remus asked, catching him watching Tonks, who was still sleeping on the couch.

Jason nodded, glancing at Tonks nervously.

"I imagine Tonks is really tired so we shan't wake her yet, alright?" Remus knelt down to face the shy boy who nodded, "Great, what do you want for breakfast?" He smiled.

The boy cocked his head, his eyes cast down to the wooden floor.

"Is eggs alright?" Remus asked gently. The boy shrugged; the gesture barely noticeable. Remus felt a familiar pang of sadness punch his stomach. This was how he was with his mother on the morning after he had been bitten. She had showed endless torrent of concern and love for him but instead of reassuring him, they terrified young Remus then. He couldn't understand the unnecessary fussing his mother showered on him and that made Remus feel that something has definitely gone wrong then. True enough, on the next full moon, he went through an excruciating transformation that assured him that his life would never be the same again.

Hesitantly, Remus reached out and place a hand on Jason's shoulder, "Jason," he started; his voice low and earnest, "Did he bite you?"

He felt the boy begin to tremble, his terrified eyes still fixed on the floor.

"Jason, look at me," He said and the boy looked, "I need you to tell me," Remus probed gently, "Anywhere we might have missed…did he bite you?"

Slowly but surely, Jason shook his head.

Remus heaved a sigh of relief inwardly but he held the boy's gaze, "Good," He heard himself say and the boy smiled hesitantly.

"_Remus?" He could hear his mother calling him. Her voice was approaching his room but he didn't want to see her, he wanted to be left alone. His shoulder ached. Cringing, Remus reached over with his left hand and pried his shirt away a little to reveal a red and raw ropey scar running along the length of his shoulder. His skin looked disgusting; uneven patterns swirling angrily over it. He let out a terrified gasp and turned away, irked and revolting. _

_He began hyperventilating and his shoulder hurt even more. Soon the door to his room opened and his mother shuffled over to his side, frantic. _

"_Remus dear?" She crouched by him, touching his forehead gently before cupping his face, "Is it hurting?" She asked. _

_Remus bit his lips, feeling his breathing calm at the sight of his mother. Her brows were knitted together in worry, her pupils dilated as she studied him. _

"_Remus, talk to mummy please," She pleaded. _

_Somehow, Remus felt obliged to do so, he opened his dry mouth, "I'm okay mummy," he assured her and watched her heave a sigh of relief. _

"_How's your shoulder, does it still ache?" She glanced at his right shoulder, "The mediwitch said it was okay to take off the bandages so I did," _

_Remus nodded. _

"_Do you want some lunch? Then maybe I could get you some potion for the pain," Upon his nod, he felt his mother wrap him in her arms and helped him up. She held him firmly so he wouldn't fall till he reached the table. His mother was a mediwitch too, once. This proved exceptionally useful afterwards when she had to tend to his many wounds after a full moon. _

_His mother was different since he was hurt. Her beautiful brown hair hung in pathetic tendrils around her face instead of the usual neat bun, her eyes were red and puffy and dark eye rings circled her eyes. Her lips were often pinched into a thin line and it looked red and raw from the chewing. _

"_Mummy? Where's daddy?" He asked and regretted it. _

_Her eyes fell and she looked on the brink of tears again, "Daddy's out working, Remus," She touched his unhurt shoulder, "Let's eat." She sat down in the chair beside him. Remus had always been a sensitive child to his parent's feelings, especially his mother's. So he knew when the topic about his father's whereabouts was definitely closed for today. Quietly, he ate his meal. _

"Is it good?" Remus smiled as he watched Jason lick clean his plate of eggs. The boy nodded eagerly, taking the glass of water Remus handed him. Tonks didn't have anything in her flat apart from coffee. Remus gazed at the boy thoughtfully. He is a beautiful child and Remus imagined this is exactly how his child would be; except having the uncanny ability to trip over flat surfaces and change his hair every color he could think of.

Remus loved children and often dreamed of having his own. But being a realist, Remus understood that this will never happen. Merlin forbids he bring another innocent child into this world with the curse he had to live with. How the child will find another to love him like how Nymphadora loved Remus was beyond him. The child will grow up to loathe his father and so will Nymphadora; loathe Remus for giving the curse to their child, her baby.

Remus was snapped out of his reverie as Jason placed the empty glass of water on the table and looked up to smile at Remus. He returned it kindly.

He glanced at the clock which told him it was getting late. Remus stood from the table and went to Tonks. She was now sprawled on her stomach, her right leg hanging off the side and one hand supporting her head. Her right arm too hung off the couch.

He smiled as he knelt by her sleeping form. Her lips formed a small pout as she slept, her bright pink hair adorably disheveled from sleep. He cupped her cheek.

"Dora? Time to wake up sweetheart," He shook her gently. To be astonishment, she let out a soft and agonizingly adorable groan and shied away from him, curling up and continued sleeping, "Dora," He leaned over and said in a firm voice that was betrayed by a smile.

"No, just a lil' while longer," She moaned out before covering her face with her arm.

Remus watched on, bemusedly, "you'll be late for work,"

"Damn it all," She muttered and Remus chanced a glance at Jason who was looking on curiously.

"Jason? Can you bring the glass and plates to the sink please?" Remus asked. The boy nodded and jumped to his feet, carefully bringing them in as he instructed. Swiftly, Remus bent forward, pulling aside her arm and kissed her full on the lips. Unsurprisingly, she kissed back with fervor, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck quickly and firmly, preventing him from straightening out. She tasted like the chocolate she nicked from him and devoured before they slept last night.

"Dora," He protested in between the kiss, fretting if the boy was to return and see two grown adults in this position. To his surprise, she gave a vicious tug and he fell flat upon her, their lips still locked together. Finally, she loosened her hold on him and he pulled back to see her awake, and smiling.

"What a way to be awakened," She smirked and Remus saw Sirius' smirk in hers. He smiled, nuzzling his face into hers before getting off her.

"Come on, time for work," Remus offered a hand and she took it but pulled him down again.

"I intend to be awakened in a similar manner forever," She pecked him on the lips again before shuffling to the bathroom.

Remus chuckled as he sat there, feeling the couch still warm from the warmth off her body.

Tonks rinsed her mouth in the sink and straightened out. She caught her eye in the mirror and stared. The eye bags beneath her eyes were gone, magically. Her hair was now a striking pink; morphed in her sleep subconsciously. She looked much better as a whole. Tonks reached out and untangled her pink hair as it is; she missed it.

In her peripheral vision, Tonks caught an unwelcome sight of her ropey hideous scar on her inner arm. She froze, lowering her arm and looking at it in greater detail. It was thin but was lumpy. Tonks felt tears swim in her eyes as her fingers skimmed the scar, down its length on her arm. This is who she is, belonging no where; not in the order nor in the ministry and definitely not with the Death eaters.

The Dark Lord had intentionally expressed his wishes to bestow upon her the Dark Mark but had blatantly gave her a scar instead, right where the Dark mark was supposed to be on all his most loyal servants. He didn't give her that for nothing and Tonks was not stupid.

Harry Potter had one; the scar in the shape of a lightening bolt that set him aside from others as the chosen one. And now she had one; to label her the traitor, to everyone. She wasn't certain if Voldemort trusted her fully but she was sure he didn't know she was sent as a spy or she'd be dead already. Tonks liked to think she was still being tested; rather than the fact that she was being played with.

Whatever it was, she was playing her part in this war and Tonks know deep down where she belonged and that was on the side of good; fighting for Harry Potter in this war against Voldemort. If there was anything her mother taught her, as childish as it sounded, the good will always prevail.

"Tonks?" She heard a knock on the door before the call and she jumped. Her hand snatched her wand up from its place beside the sink, "are you alright in there?" It was only Remus.

"Yes, I'm good," She called back, her voice cracking. Hurriedly, Tonks wiped her tears with the back of her hand and stowed away her wand. It rarely left her side now. She wrenched the door open to see Remus standing there. His eyes betrayed the worry he was feeling.

"Nymphadora?" Remus touched her arm, noticing her eyes looked a little red.

"I'm fine Remus," Tonks forced a smile, "I gotta go to work,"

"Of course," He stepped aside and Tonks slipped into her room to get changed into her scarlet auror robe.

Remus watched her close the door on him, averting his gaze. Tonks, unlike the rest of her family, isn't very adept at lying. The moment she opened the door, he knew something was bothering her. Her hair was the color of a withering plant; mousy brown, close to black; not the bubblegum pink he adored that fit her well.

He sighed and slumped down on the couch. Jason was sitting at the dining table, doodling on a piece of parchment which Remus conjured for him with some crayons Remus found in Tonks' flat.

The manila folder that Tonks carried with her caught his eye. Remus carefully opened the folder and removed the thick stack of paper within. His eyes skimmed across the information about werewolves, mostly crimes.

There it was; _Remus Lupin, beta of the pack…duration: unknown_. It irked him now that that fact was written on paper so clear for the world to see. He'd joined in the moment of desperation, of loneliness that no one but an old quiet werewolf can comprehend. It was a time after James and Lily's death, when Sirius was hauled into Azkaban and Peter was thought to be dead. Since Voldemort was destroyed by baby Harry, the Order was disbanded and Remus was truly alone.

Despite the Order members' attempts at coming together, no one could hide the pain of the loss of their loved ones in this war. Coming together as the Order would only reopen old wounds that they'd all sustained in this war. After a few pathetic tries at a gathering, they stopped trying altogether and in an attempt to deal with his grief, Remus locked himself in his flat. He didn't work, unable to find a decent job. He ate only leftovers or takeaways. He was scraping by.

The idea of joining the pack came to him as a spontaneous decision when he was flipping through his old school album. He knew it was the last thing his friends would want for him but they are not here for him; no one is. He decided that it was for the best. With a rucksack of worn clothes and his wand, Remus left for the pack.

It was difficult to gain everyone's trust and confidence but Remus did eventually. He was a man with nothing else to lose and there was nothing that drives a man more than that, much less a feral wolf. He threw himself into the heat of the battle with no regard whatsoever for his own safety. Just this alone earned him Greyback's trust after being among cowardly wolves for so many years.

Greyback accepted him; the product of his own decision to punish John Lupin so many years ago. Greyback praised him and Remus reveled in the feeling of being accepted and being approved of; this was something he had not felt since his schooldays but something was always missing; love.

But that is in the past, now Remus no long felt that urge to be accepted, approved of or even loved; he had them all.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of crashing from the bedroom and muffled words of Tonks cursing colorfully. Remus smiled as he stood hurriedly; encouraged by the desire to see her and to make sure she's alright. He knocked.

"Come on in, I'm decent," She called and Remus did. There she is; beautiful in her scarlet robe. She was sitting on the bed, clutching her foot.

"What happened?" He smiled bemusedly. Her mousy brown hair was in a mess, her heart shaped face flushed and her eyes watering with pain.

"I tripped," Tonks looked purposefully at the small cupboard that lay on its side on the floor, "and twisted my ankle when I fell," She added sullenly.

Remus whipped out his wand and sat down at the edge of the bed by her side, "Here," He gently brushed her hand away and winced at the sight of the bluish, swollen ankle. Remus glanced up to see that Tonks had latched onto her pillow by her mouth. She nodded to Remus.

He placed his wand tip to her ankle and muttered some spells he knew to fix a twisted ankle which his mother taught him. The spell could fix them; but not the ones that are serious.

The bluish bruise faded and her ankle looked less swollen than before. Tonks muffled her scream as Remus' spell did its stuff. He looked at her apologetically, fixing bones was never painless.

"Better?" Remus stowed away his wand, taking her hand.

She rotated her ankle testily, wincing, "Tender but functional." Tonks sighed, standing up, "thank you,"

"You're welcome," He replied. They went out of her flat, Tonks holding onto Jason's hand as they crossed the street to the alley. Remus had to pinch himself for him to snap out of the daydream of how much they looked like a real family. He kissed her goodbye before they apparate their separate ways.

To be continued…

A/N: Extra long chapter for the extra long wait! Well, I know many of you are eager to find out what Mad-Eye told Remus that night so here it is! I hope it didn't disappoint! And virtual cookies for anyone who can point out the line that is a reference to the fantastic movie and book 'Kite Runner'!

Please don't forget to leave a review for me! They make me write so much faster! Come on guys, we're reaching 100 reviews!

Thanks so much to those reviewers of last chapter who inspired this one!  
Angelic94: I'm so glad you liked it! It was one of the more interesting ones to write (: Well, then I hope you like this one too; more struggles for Remus! Couldn't agree more; Remus is just so lovable! Thank you so much for the compliment! That's actually one of the most plausible interpretations of the scars and I think it fits well. Haha, no bad Tonks this chapter and Greyback is going to get more, this is not the end (:

DMSTonks: Hope this chapter gave you an idea about the boy! I think this chapter also showed you what Mad-Eye said to Remus (: Tonks and Sirius are definitely on its way with what I have planned ;) Thank you, I have been afraid Remus was a little out of character; he is a complicated guy/wolf. Thanks again!

The Drawer: Thank you so much! Hope this didn't come too late!

Nymphadora-Remus4ever: Thank you! I'm glad you loved it; I had so much fun writing that ;) Me too, they're unbelievably good together! Thanks so much!

LEAVE A REVIEW! (:


	23. Chapter 23: Department Of Mysteries

Chapter 23: Department Of Mysteries

"Tonks? I thought you're on a mission," Kingsley asked as she bumped into him at the atrium, literally.

"Yeah, I am. Just gotta drop this kid off," Tonks gasped as she steadied herself from falling flat on her face, "I found him and healed his wounds. Look likes werewolf work," She said in a hushed tone.

Kingsley glanced at the boy, nodding, before putting on a grin at her that was only all too familiar for Tonks.

"Oh no Kingsley," Tonks shook her head firmly, "I'm off paperwork now. Don't you dare…"

"Come on Tonks," Kingsley sighed. The fact that he hated paperwork was known throughout the whole ministry but the truth that Tonks had been often bribed into finishing them for him was a well-kept secret.

"Get Peters to do it! He's the underling now!" Tonks hissed.

"He doesn't do them as well as you do," Kingsley protested, intent on convincing Tonks as she entered the lift.

"I don't care!" She scowled.

"Tonks, come on," Kingsley nudged her as the lift kicked off. Tonks grasped the side rails frantically, maintaining a firm grip on poor Jason.

"No Kingsley, I really have to _go_," She said meaningfully and she does. She'd earlier received Snape's patronus to inform her of the meeting Voldemort had called about the break in to get the prophecy from the Department of Mysteries.

Kingsley sighed and nodded, "Guess Peters will have to do," he winked at her and exited the lift.

Tonks painstakingly explained her lie to the woman before leaving Jason with them.

"Where are you going?" Jason asked, wide blue eyes staring at her. His small hands were clinging onto her hand, impossible to pry away. Tonks felt tears coming to her eyes at the thought of leaving the boy so soon.

"They will bring you back to your parents Jason," Tonks ruffled his hair, "I promise I won't let the bad men get you ever again sweetie," She kissed him on the top of his head. She made that promise and intended to keep it.

"Tonks, will I see you again?" Jason asked, clutching onto her robe with wide fearful eyes as she got her hand out of his grasp.

"Maybe Jason. Anytime you want to see me, I'll be here." She smoothed out his hair, "Come to ministry and ask to see me, Tonks from the Auror Office,"

Jason smiled and nodded, satisfied. Tonks swallowed the lump in her throat and stood to leave, handing Jason to the woman behind the desk.

Then before she could regret it and run back and do something crazy, Tonks apparated to the Lestrange Mansion.

The place was eerie. It was worst than the Riddle Mansion. Everything was black and so, rich. Tonks was granted entry without hesitation at the gate and she entered the room, her head held high. Most of the death eaters were already there. Tonks realized only the ones involved in the raid were there. She took her usual seat at the right of the seat at the top of the table, by the Dark Lord. He hasn't arrived yet.

Bellatrix, Lucius, Dolohov, Rowle, Yaxley, Jugson, Rookwood and Jensen were all there; most of them staring at her in disdain, particularly her aunt.

Tonks stared back at every one of them, her eyes lingering on Augustus Rookwood. He is the Unspeakable that Voldemort appointed as deputy head in this mission as he knew the Department of Mysteries best. The Dark Lord really did have minions and spies everywhere, Tonks' shuddered at the thought of the Order Of Phoenix fighting against such force.

Without warning Bellatrix lashed out with a curse at her. Tonks furrowed her brow and deflected that spell swiftly with her wand, the spell missing her face by inches.

"Bellatrix," Lucius hissed. As much as Lucius hated Tonks, he was always the voice of reason; keeping out of trouble unlike Bellatrix. Tonks guessed that was why Lucius always headed mission, not her deranged Aunt who seemed like Azkaban had effectively unhinged her.

Her Aunt seemed to not have heard Lucius Malfoy. In fact, Bellatrix stood up looking quite mad as she shot spell after spell at Tonks.

Tonks deflected every one of them. She was no match for her Aunt, yet and Tonks hated herself for that. The spells kept coming and finally, Tonks couldn't deflect both in time. She ducked down and the spell hit the tall chair backing, turning it to a deformed melted mess.

Everyone around the table roared with laughter and some clapped. Bellatrix cackled.

"Nymphie has lost," She sang and laughed again.

Tonks wiped the blood from her wound, which was caused by a stray spell from Bellatrix that she was unable to block, and stood. This was it. Defeat was one thing but humiliation was a whole other story. Both bloodlines in her boiled at that thought and Tonks found herself on her feet, glaring at her Aunt.

"What is it Nymphie? Mummy forgot to teach you manners? Or is that mudblood father side of you boiling?" Bellatrix cackled.

"I didn't lose!" Tonks roared; firing spells of her own at her Aunt. Bellatrix lazily fended them off with flicks of her wand. Tonks smirked as her blasting curse caught Bellatrix in the side. Enraged, Bellatrix went on the offense. Tonks could hear the laughter from the table. She was obviously not welcomed here and Tonks wondered how long she could last before Bellatrix finally kill her.

"Avada Kedavra!" Bellatrix howled the spell through her laughter and Tonks dove to the side, landing painfully on her knees as the spell set a curtain on fire. Before she could crawl to her feet, Bellatrix locked her neck with the crook of her arm and yanked her up to her feet. She was stronger than Tonks had thought, "Crucio!" Bellatrix cackled. Tonks cried out in agony, not being able to bring up her mental defense prior.

Bellatrix yanked her hair back painfully.

"Listen here Wrench, you tell your blood traitor mother and Mudblood father, one day, I will get them too," Bellatrix hissed into her ear, "and you know what? Maybe I will spend time killing old Mad-Eye too. I will make them all scream, and beg, just like you will…"

"No!" Tonks found herself screaming and flailing quite uselessly in Bellatrix's firm grip. She clenched her teeth, her eyes glaring at Bellatrix, her hair turning a fiery red. Tonks screwed her eyes shut. Without warning, she morphed.

Bellatrix yelped in shock as Tonks became a younger, shorter and smaller version of herself. Her Aunt lost her grip on Tonks and she sagged to the ground, diving for her wand.

Tonks smirked to have gotten the better of Bellatrix; doing one thing she knew no one can, to morph.

"Why you little bitch," Bellatrix shrieked, "Freak! I knew nothing can come out good from that mudblood father-"

"Don't talk about my father!" Tonks growled, "Do you know how sad you are, Aunt Bella? You've never made your own decision, always having lived under all the expectations of pure blood. What do you know about love? What do you know about family?"

"How dare you!" Bellatrix raised her wand and Tonks did likewise, "Avada-"

She stopped short as Voldemort stepped into the room, looking quite amused at the scene. He practically glided pass them, sitting in the chair at the tip of the table with Nagini at his feet.

"My lord," Tonks and Bellatrix both bowed as the Dark Lord passed them.

"Rookwood?" Voldemort spoke, ignoring the duel he'd interrupted.

"My Lord, Avery lied. Bode is not able to obtain the prophecy. It can only be taken by the person whose name is set upon it, as you've said my lord," Rookwood said. Voldemort glared at Rookwood for a moment before he waved his wand so quickly that it was hardly visible. A few death eater cringed as Rookwood crumpled to the floor in a mild moment of pain.

"My Lord, it will be a success, I assure you," Tonks spoke, confident ringing in every word. Voldemort turned to her and nodded, a smirk set upon his serpentine features.

"Very well Nymphadora, I look forward to your performance," Voldemort replied.

"My Lord, I can definitely lead this better than this abomination-" Bellatrix leaned forward, eager to please. Tonks rolled her eyes in disgust.

"Ah Bellatrix, you've always been my most trustworthy death eater," Voldemort said silkily, "but Nymphadora has potential and I will allow her to prove herself in this mission,"

Bellatrix smiled sweetly but glared at Tonks and Tonks rose to the challenge, glaring back, ignoring the blood trickling down onto her lap from her hand.

"Speaking of which," Voldemort turned to Nymphadora, "You have displeased our werewolf friends, Nymphadora," He said, his voice laced with displeasure but somewhere deep inside, Tonks heard a tinge of amusement and mockery. No doubt Greyback had voiced his hate for Tonks to the Dark Lord.

"My Lord, I am disgusted at their ways and Greyback had obviously disregarded his respect for wizards," Nymphadora replied, pushing down her fear at her insolent reply, "I merely reminded them of who's truly the one leading; you, my Lord." Tonks spoke what she thought the Blacks would say, and acted how the Blacks will act; it wasn't difficult.

Voldemort smiled, "You truly are the descendant of the Noble House of Blacks that have served me well in past years,"

Bellatrix snorted but Tonks bowed, accepting the 'praise' modestly.

"You really are one of a kind, Nymphadora," Voldemort lunged forward and Tonks froze as she felt cold fingers lifted her chin so she looked into his bloodshot eyes. Tonks instantly brought up her defense against legilimency, "but displeasing Greyback will risk our alliance with the werewolves. I trust you will take a more subtle approach next time. With that, you will, from now on, be helping me win alliances with beast and wizards alike; I believe your metamorphagus abilities will prove most useful,"

Tonks shuddered but smirked; finding that it was most effectively in masking how she truly felt. "I am most honored my Lord," She replied and Voldemort, seemingly satisfied, released her and sat back into his seat.

The morning went away in a flash and Tonks found herself concealing her bleeding arm as she stumbled up the steps of Grimmauld Place. Tonight was the raid and she needed to see Remus.

She opened the door of Grimmauld and closed it quietly behind her. Tonks was feeling rapidly dizzy and she found herself unable to heal her hand before she apparated.

"Sirius?" She called, blinking a couple of times as her vision blurred. She leaned on the wall.

"Nymphie?" Tonks could see the blurry outline of her cousin running down the corridor to her, "are you alright?" She felt Sirius' firm hold on her arm, "come on, to the kitchen so I can get a better look," she heard him say. Leaning heavily on her cousin, Tonks found herself slumped in the chair and Sirius sat opposite her. His wand was out and he seemed to be muttering spells frantically.

She felt a sting on her hand and Sirius jolted up from his seat, disappearing behind her for a while before returning and forcing a bottle's content down her throat. Tonks didn't resist and she let Sirius get a grip upon her jaw to tilt her head up.

"Here, something to replenish your blood." He murmured and Tonks downed the lot. She slouched in her chair and sighed as her head stop spinning. Grimmauld Place kitchen come into focus as she blinked. She sat up, shaking her head from side to side. Tonks saw her favorite cousin sitting across from her, his fingers tented in front of him and his grey eyes studying her contemplatively.

Tonks took a while to find her voice, "What's up?" She spoke cautiously.

Sirius' brows furrowed for a moment before he stood up, "that's it! I'm getting you out of here, we'll go to France! Or Germany!" She glimpsed a crazed look in his eyes.

"You're crazy," Tonks rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm not!" Sirius scowled, "I'm getting you out of here with me! This is the last time I'm letting everyone treat my baby cousin like a piece of pickle for sacrifice."

"Siri…" Tonks forced a smile, "Dumbledore knows-"

"He doesn't know! He's not here, is he? He doesn't have to see you and take care of you when you crawl back after being tortured by that crazy woman. I do! I see what she does to you. And I won't let it happen again…" Sirius muttered, "It's the least I can do."

Tonks frowned, rushing around the table. She threw her arms around his neck. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist, sighing.

"I'll be just fine, Sirius," She muttered. Her cousin smelt acutely like fresh laundry instead of booze, to Tonks' delight, "Alive, I promise."

"Tonksie…Cuz…" Sirius sighed, "don't throw your life away for this…it's not worth it."

Tonks huffed, pulling away, "You encourage Harry to go into the fight Sirius and you're trying to get me out of it?" She crossed her arms across her chest.

"You're…different," Sirius averted her eyes, "you're my baby cousin, and Harry is a tough kid, he's-" Tonks' heart warmed at the soft loving tone as Sirius spoke about her.

"Not James, Sirius," Tonks interrupted, "I want to make sure you're seeing that clearly. And I'm all grown up now…heck I could even take you down and haul you into Azkaban if I wanted," She rolled her eyes.

"I just don't want you being a double agent, Tonksie…it's dangerous," Sirius gazed at her thoughtfully, his eyes clouded with worry. For a moment there, Tonks could've sworn she saw the same look Sirius gave her when she is a small kid; that worried gaze only a brother who truly loves you could give, "don't do it anymore,"

"I am an Auror and part of the family Sirius and I will do something," Tonks stated firmly, "stop worrying. And after all these times, I'm still alive aren't I?"

"Not for long if you keep this up," Sirius muttered, "Moony will definitely back me up on this,"

"Where is Remus anyway?" Tonks asked, ignoring his comment.

"Out, getting some food." Sirius slumping down in the chair sullenly, looking acutely disappointed.

"I'm happy you're not drinking," Tonks sat down beside him.

Sirius smirked, "I guess I've too decided to do something with my life," He shrugged.

"Hmm, Padfoot, sayin' that," Tonks couldn't stop the smile, "I never thought I'd live to see the day,"

Sirius barked a laugh. They heard the door open and footsteps down the hall. Instantly, Tonks jumped out of her chair, throwing the kitchen door open to see her love standing with his arms full with grocery.

"Dora," Remus' eyes brightened up and Tonks jumped into his embrace. Remus absentmindedly dropped the grocery, welcoming Tonks into his arms.

"Wow, you two lovebirds look like you've been apart for years," Sirius commented with a snigger.

"Bugger off Sirius," Tonks muttered into Remus' shoulder. She missed him; for some reason she couldn't fathom.

"Seriously," Sirius chuckled at his pun, "when was the last time you two met again? Wasn't it this morning."

Tonks nodded truthfully, reluctantly pulling out of Remus' embrace to help him pick up the grocery, their fingers interlocked.

"That long huh?" Sirius whistled; ignoring the glares both Remus and Tonks shot him.

The moment the grocery hit the table; Tonks wanted nothing more than to spend her time with Remus, right up to the moment of the mission. She pulled him up the stairs, ignoring the wolf whistles Sirius was doing behind their backs. The moment the door to Remus' room shut behind her, she pressed her lips to his and kissed him fervently, her fingers tugging on his hair gently.

Remus chuckled, hugging her around her waist firmly as he spun them around.

"Dora…" Remus sighed as they fell over onto the bed. Tonks grasped the front of his shirt in both fists and buried her face into his chest. Remus smiled, smoothing her hair with one hand while the other rubbed comforting circles on her back, "are you alright?" He asked; his voice tender.

"I love you," She muttered, pressing herself closer to him.

"Dora…" Remus was really getting worried now. He kissed the top of her head, "can we talk-"

"No," Tonks interrupted, enveloping his mouth with hers, effectively silencing him.

He moaned appreciatively at the back of his throat as Tonks pressed kisses along his jaw line.

"Hm, you shaved," Tonks smiled, propping herself up on his chest.

"I figured I should," He shrugged and Tonks snuggled up to him, feeling him snake his arms around to embrace her, "Dora…Sirius knows what he's saying…" Remus started, knowing he's treading on quicksand here. If there was anything Tonks valued most was responsibility and loyalty; he could very well be insulting one of them.

"Remus…not you too," She pouted playfully.

"I'm serious about this, Dora…" Remus sighed.

"No," She shook her head, grinning, "You're Remus."

Remus chuckled, despite himself, "You're incorrigible," He teased, placing his hands on the curve of her waist.

"Sirius Black's cousin," Tonks grinned.

"Yeah," Remus agreed with a smile on his lips, "Sirius Black's cousin."

Suddenly, all the humor was gone in the room as Tonks gazed at Remus thoughtfully. Remus, being a sensitive man to others, quelled his amusement and watched her somberly.

"I'm fine, Remus. This is war…" Tonks mumbled, "I want _you_ to be careful. You need to watch out for yourself, not me,"

Remus rubbed her back, "I just…thought I should do something for you," He finished pathetically, scrambling for a better way to put this.

"Just stay alive for me," Tonks splayed her palm on his chest, above his heart, "take care of yourself, no matter what, please."

"Dora…" Remus frowned, puzzled, "did something happen?" He reached up and Tonks realized her eyes were filling with tears.

"No," She replied hurriedly, "nothing happened…" Tonks looked straight into his eyes, seeing the flicker of hesitation, suspicion that she wasn't telling him something; he was right.

Remus brushed away a strand of mousy brown hair and tucked it behind her ear with a slight smile playing on his lips. He caressed her cheek with the back of gentle fingers, "I will, for you," He smiled.

Tonks nodded, pressing her ear to his chest, listening to the steady heartbeat, allowing it to lull her to sleep; giving her the rest before the mayhem begins.

She'd left on Snape's patronus, apparating to the riddle mansion; where they'll be setting off to the ministry.

The hall was filled with Death Eaters. The ones that were supposed to accompany her there were there; watching the Dark Lord eagerly. She took her seat beside Snape, ignoring him purposefully. Tonks still hadn't got around forgiving Snape for that kiss.

It was apparent to Tonks that Voldemort was now inserting the memory of Sirius being held at the ministry into Harry's head. She muttered a silent apology to poor Harry, he must be worried sick.

The last time Harry had dreamt and unintentionally entered Voldemort's thoughts was when Nagini had attempted to steal the prophecy only to meet poor Mr Weasley; who happened to be on duty for the ministry, covering duty for a sly moron from Magical Law Enforcement.

Arthur had been badly injured, hospitalized for a week or so. Tonks hadn't had the time yet to visit the poor man but Remus had assured her that he would go and would send her well wishes.

That was also the moment where Voldemort realized the strong mental connection between Harry and himself; but hadn't dared make a false move till he was absolutely certain of his decision. Tonks was impressed and understood how the Death Eaters could thrive under such leadership.

When Snape was assigned to teach Harry Occlumency, Voldemort was aware but made sure Snape left the door open for him in case he had to use that connection for his plans. And this was the time, when Tonks had suggested, and regretted, to trick Harry and lure him to get the prophecy for them.

However, since Tonks was in-charged of this mission, she assured herself with the knowledge that she held the power now to make sure Harry and his friends remain safe throughout this encounter.

She hadn't thought about how she was going to make sure Voldemort do not get the prophecy without losing her cover. This is a fine line she is walking on and Tonks intend to take every step with extreme caution and of course, vigilance.

They waited, giving Harry sometime to get to the ministry; however he was going to get there. Tonks was aware of how clever those kids can be and she was absolutely certain they can find a way, assuring Voldemort of that.

The scout informed them that Harry Potter and his friends (Tonks winced at this news, knowing there are more kids involved than she'd have dared to think), have arrived at the ministry on thestrals and were entering the ministry by muggle means

Tonks decided to get there by half apparition form. It can give them to time to get accustomed to each other; hopefully sufficient for them to trust each other, and time for Harry to make it to the Department of Mysteries and to find the spot.

All the while, Bellatrix smirked at Tonks, convinced her wretched niece will fail and thus be punished by the Dark Lord.

Tonks set off from the Riddle Mansion first, rising at high speed in a puff of white smoke, tailed by black ones. She ignored the sneers she'd received, as always during this display.

They went on foot from the atrium with Rookwood and Tonks leading shoulder to shoulder to the Department of Mysteries.

Tonks silently split them up in pairs; Lucius with Bellatrix to face them and openly take the prophecy from them, Rookwood with Jugson, Dolohov with Rowle and Yaxley with Jensen. Tonks had taken the last pairing as a personal joke; knowing how the harsh death eater will give Jensen a run for his money.

"And where will you be?" Lucius demanded, his smooth voice sneering.

"Where you'll all end up," Tonks replied. Lucius narrowed his eyes and made to question her more but Tonks gestured for them to close in on the kids. When the Death Eaters moved into action, Tonks morphed her features away. She improvised. Her hair was changed to a straight black, her heart shaped face morphed away to that similar to Andromeda; thus Bellatrix. All in all, in her Bellatrix-lookalike outfit she now owned, Tonks held the aristocratic beauty that all Black women had.

Tonks could hear Bellatrix taunting Harry. Her laughter sent shivers running down Tonks' spine, making her shudder. She still couldn't believe that she's finally here now, going up against her Aunt; her childhood worst nightmare. Tonks would not deny being fearful of Bellatrix but she will not cower to her either.

A fight was about to break out when Neville was unable to quell his anger upon Bellatrix's mention of his parents. Tonks gripped her wand, almost throwing herself out there to shield the kids but Lucius calmed the situation, egging Harry to give the prophecy.

Harry spoke and for a moment, Tonks heard resignation in his voice. Her heart skipped a beat. This wasn't going as planned. Tonks had banked her hopes that Harry will hang on and fight; this way, in the chaos, hopefully she could make sure the prophecy will not reach the hands of Voldemort.

"Now!" Harry shouted to his friends. Tonks smiled as she saw Jensen get hit square in the chest by a stunner from Ginny. He fell back, unconscious. Tonks stood over him, rolling her eyes as she attempted to wake him by a prod of her toe. But the moron was out cold. Tonks sighed, walking purposefully to where she'd planned for Harry's only route of escape.

She didn't want to go into half apparition, her white form; so different from the others will stand out to the kids like a sore thumb and the last thing she wanted was for the kids to know she is working as a double agent or to think she's the enemy.

Tonks reached the door leading to the room that contained the veil; Merlin knows what the Unspeakable are playing at with that veil… Tonks unlocked it with a wave of her wand and ran towards the battle. She had to look like she was contributing, for the last thing Tonks wanted was for Lucius to tell on her.

She jogged down the rows of prophecies. This is chaos but going exactly as she planned. The death eaters, being the stronger and more skillful lot are pushing the kids towards their only escape.

"Stupefy!" Tonks shouted, her spell missing Hermione's shoulder by inches as she ducked. It hit Rookwood in the face, sending him reeling. Tonks smirked, ducking to the side as Hermione recovered, grabbing onto Ron's hand and ran. Then Tonks heard a slight shriek.

Thinking quickly, Tonks morphed herself. She waved her wand over her clothes vaguely, changing it to a jacket and jeans. She smirked, running towards the scream. Just down the row is Ginny sitting on the ground with Dolohov pointing his wand at her.

"Ginny!" Tonks shouted. Both Death Eater and Ginny looked, "Stupefy!" Dolohov dove to the side, unable to parry the spell away in time.

"Harry!" Ginny cried in relief, scrambling to her feet. Tonks ran forward, pulling Ginny along by her hand.

Tonks rapidly shot spells behind her, pretending to mutter them in case Ginny got suspicious. They hit the half apparition form flying after them and Tonks muttered 'thanks' to virtual Mad-Eye whom always tortured her with target practices with twigs.

They turned the corner, bumping straight into Neville and Luna. Ginny let out a stifled scream.

"Where are Hermione and Ron?" Ginny asked frantically. Tonks then glimpsed more Death Eaters, in half apparition form approaching.

"Come on!" She barked, hoping she sounded acutely like Harry. The others nodding and they ran down the row, towards the door she'd unlocked for them.

Tonks shot two more stunners behind her, now she needed to vanish from sight before the real Harry bumped into them.

She inconspicuously casted a disillusion charm. She was never good at them but it was worth a try and the kids are none the wiser.

"Where's Harry? Luna, Neville!" Ginny cried anxiously as she turned to find 'Harry' not there. Tonks slipped behind two shelves of prophecy.

"Ginny, here!" The real Harry called, cutting across the alleyway with Ron and Hermione behind him.

Ginny looked confused for a moment before they glimpsed 2 more death eaters heading their way.

Tonks recognized them to be Dolohov and Rowle.

"Reducto!" Ginny cried. Tonks shook her head, muttering a quick prayer before casting a Protego around herself. Dolohov and Rowle were casted away by the spell. The magnitude of it sent shelves of prophecies collapsing upon them. The shelves collapsed over Tonks, rendering her harmless; protected by her spell. She half apparated the moment she heard a satisfying click of the closing of the door she unlocked.

Sending green sparks into the air, Tonks flew over the rumble of shattered prophecies and collapsed shelves. The rest of the Death Eaters regrouped, following her lead.

"Where the hell were you?" Rookwood snapped as he flew forward by her.

Tonks shot him a glare; the infamous Black glare; capable of making the bravest bloodhound cower. Rookwood faltered just slightly.

"They're now at the veil, if you shut up, we might just get there in time," Tonks said sharply.

She blasted the door aside and flew through it, followed by the rest. She purposefully fell back behind the clouds of black as Harry and the rest looked up.

"Get behind me!" Harry shouted and they did. Tonks felt something close to admiration for his Gryffindor spirit but it quickly faded as Bellatrix swooped down, grabbing Neville. The rest of them followed suit. Tonks felt a sense of dread as each of them took a kid, handling them less than gently.

Tonks knew there was nothing else to do but confront Harry. She made sure her morph was still up.

Lucius was by the veil, standing by Harry whom was still curled up on the ground, holding the prophecy close to his chest.

Tonks landed by him, shooting him a meaningful look and Lucius looked away, letting her take this.

Harry stood, slightly limping. She watched pitifully as he glanced around frantic to see his friends held hostage. Bellatrix was gripping a fistful of Longbottom's hair, her wand poking painfully into the side of his neck. Tonks glanced over at her, worried her deranged Aunt might just do something stupid.

"You really want your friends to die for you?" Lucius taunted.

Harry seemed to be much more open to the idea of giving the prophecy now that his friends aren't safe by him. Tonks knew at that moment, as she wanted to do nothing more than turn around the hit Lucius in the face for putting Harry in this position, that she was not cut out for this stuff.

"Harry," Tonks spoke, taking a step towards him. He looked at her, glaring as he took two steps back, "give me the prophecy, and I assure you, they will return to your side, safe and sound." She held out her hand, "not a strand of hair missing,"

Harry's eyes narrowed behind his glasses and something akin to familiarity flashed in his eyes.

"You want to know the connection that you feel, Harry. I know you do," She spoke, her tone soft, "all you have to do, is give me the prophecy and we can all work it out."

"Enough! Crucio!" Bellatrix shrieked and Neville fell to the floor, writhing.

Harry turned and looked; eyes wide with horror. Tonks will never forget the look he gave her as he placed the prophecy in her palm; a look filled with resignation and hate.

Tonks then glimpsed a flash of white above. Harry looked. Sirius Black formed behind Lucius. She watched with a hidden smirk as Sirius threw a punch at Lucius, sending him to the ground. What she didn't see coming was Harry's elbow, smashing into her face. Tonks winced, stepping back, her grip on her wand unyielding. Sirius made to go for her too but a glance at her and he knew. Sirius smiled.

The Order was starting to file in.

Tonks watched with dread as 5 other white apparition fog engulfed the place, one driving away the death eaters from the children. Her heart swelled as she laid her eyes on Remus. Kingsley and Mad-Eye appeared upon the edge of the platform. Arthur was also present, helping the kids away.

Tonks glimpsed Sirius grab at Harry to pull him behind the outcrop of rocks as Bellatrix, her trigger-happy aunt started shooting unforgivable towards the platform at them. She rolled her eyes, ducking as a jet of green skimmed her above the head. Tonks had a feeling Bellatrix was intentionally misaiming. To return the favour, Tonks swiftly shot back two more jinx at Bellatrix who took flight, smirking at her.

"Black!" Lucius snapped and he and Sirius engaged in a duel. Dolohov and Jensen climbed onto the platform. Harry rashly ran out from his hiding spot upon seeing his godfather in danger, sending stunners at them. Tonks wiped the blood from her nose away with the back of her hand, running to assist Sirius and Harry when she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, sending her sprawling on the floor.

She cursed as she hit the floor, her wand still blessedly in her palm. Keeping up her morph in battle was a tough thing to do, requiring extreme concentration and will. It was why Tonks preferred to go into battle as her true form; she was obviously paying the price for going against her better judgment now.

"Concentrate…" She muttered, scrambling to her feet to face her opponent. Her heart stopped. Remus stood opposite her, his wand raised, his eyes burning with a fury to protect his best friend and Harry to the best of his ability.

The spell stopped at the tip of her tongue as she froze, unable to even raise her wand at him, much less utter a spell. She could only watch helplessly as Remus fired spell after spell at her and Tonks parried them away, ducking when she got desperate. She marveled at his skills and speed. He really is a skilled duelist.

"Bill, now!" Tonks heard Mad-Eye's gruff voice bark; a voice she'd recognize anywhere. She glanced over to see Bill apparate away with all the kids. A moment of distraction was all Remus needed however. She attempted to scramble away but her legs were deadweights; _the__leg__locker__…_ Tonks was frantic; she looked up to see herself at the wrong end of Remus' wand.

_He __will __not __kill me__,_ Tonks knew, _even __if __he __thought __she __was the __enemy_. A bad headache was all she was going to get.

She looked up. Remus was puzzled; she recognized the look in his eyes.

"Reducto!" She took the chance and blasted the floor. Tiles flew up into Remus' face. He hurriedly parried them away but it was enough time for her utter the counter curse to the leg locker and flee.

"No!" Tonks shouted across the room, watching helplessly as Yaxley's spell hit Mad-Eye square in the chest but the old Auror already had one death eater laying unconscious at Yaxley's feet. She shot two curses across the room, missing Kingsley barely. Yaxley was hit in the back and he stumbled forward, confused.

She yelped in pain as a spell ran right into her arm. Tonks backed away, realizing that she's faced with Harry Potter. He was glaring at her, nostrils flaring in anger and Tonks realized she still had the prophecy in her hand and that Harry wanted to destroy it. She didn't know what she was going to do so she smirked; the habit she took up in times of desperation.

"Harry, no!" Sirius yanked his godson back firmly by the shoulder, "She's-"

Harry didn't wait for Sirius, he ran towards her, sending a strong stunner at her but it went wayward, hitting the ground by her feet. Tonks lost her non-existent balance. She winced as the small of her back took the brute of the fall.

"Lucius!" She shouted, sending the prophecy to him with a wave of her wand. The blond was only too pleased to be able to take the credit for it when he gets to present it to the Dark Lord.

Tonks jumped to her feet, wand raised to parry away a stunner from Harry. His eyes were blazing with fury.

"Harry!" Sirius gripped him by the arm, willing Harry to see reason.

"Avada-" Bellatrix was perched upon the top of the stairs, her eyes gleaming at Sirius' back with crazed ecstasy.

Tonks' eyes widened. She raised her wand and Sirius watched her in horror. She sent one bolt of black towards them swiftly.

Sirius ducked, pulling Harry down with him.

The spell hit its mark before the unforgivable curse could be casted, sending Bellatrix reeling over the steps. Tonks watched, satisfied as her Aunt lay unmoving at the base of the stairs.

Tonks glanced down to see Sirius smirk at her and nod. She made to return likewise but froze as she felt a familiar shiver run down her spine.

She shuddered and spun around quickly with her wand in hand. She gasped.

Lord Voldemort stood upon a tall outcrop of rock.

To be continued…

A/N: Firstly, you guys are awesome! 100 reviews now! Thank you so much to all my awesome reviewers! This chapter, as you've read, follows the Order of Phoenix movie very closely. And I will not apologise for this awesome cliffhanger! (: I hope you all enjoyed it!

TheDrawer: Thank you so much! Hope this is soon enough!

Just a Cute Idea: I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you!

Rita23fantastica: Thank you so much! Glad you like it!

TheMaraudersAreTOTALLYAWESOME: Thank you! I'm glad someone mentioned that poor boy!

A Bookish Sort of Person: Thank you! Glad this is worth the wait!

HammersNStrings: Thank you! Not much of them two here but I hope you like it all the same! Hahaha, sorry, but voldy is not to be gotten rid of that easily, or where's the story? (:

DMSTonks: hehe, perhaps? ;) Thank you! I didn't think of that but we know there's plenty of opportunity for that! Thank you so much for that! Romance for Harry Potter is actually difficult to write without getting it all mushy and over the top. You'll just have to wait and see about the Mark. Thanks so much for the review!

Noaj8121986: Thank you so much! You'll have to wait and see!

Anon: Haha, hope this is long and good too!

PLEASE REVIEW! They make me write much faster!


	24. Chapter 24: Remembering

Chapter 24: Remembering

Tonks felt a pang of panic and fear; as it always struck in his presence. The other Order members froze while the Death Eaters cackled.

Harry cried out in pain, clutching his scar and sinking to the ground.

"Well done Nymphadora!" Voldemort laughed, it was the first time Tonks heard such exhilaration; though sadistic, in his voice.

Harry's eyes looked to be about to bulge out of its sockets as he looked at her. Tonks looked down, appearing to be submitting to Voldemort but in reality, she was ashamed. She let her curtain of dark black hair fall around her face and she dropped her morph. She could see many shocked faces from the Order members themselves as she looked up again; wearing her own face. Remus looked particularly light-headed.

"Lucius," Voldemort hissed, holding out his hand, "Give it to me," Lucius made to cross the room however the Order members spring into action then, all sending spells towards him.

Tonks watched in awe and somewhat revulsion as Voldemort parried away their spells lazily without a blink of his eye. He was now grinning in sick pleasure as he raised his wand. The green jet flew straight for Harry. Without hesitation, Sirius pulled his godson down. The spell hit the archway, holding the veil. The force, by itself, sent everyone in the room reeling. At the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Remus stumbling back. He was closer than she thought.

Tonks gasped, struggling to regain her balance. She watched as the veil collapsed and shattered with an almighty crash.

"Harry, Harry," Voldemort laughed, "We will see our fate together, shan't we?"

"Don't talk to my godson!" Sirius shot forward.

"Sirius!" Tonks lurched forward, grabbing his arm but Voldemort threw them off their feet with a sweep of his wand.

"Foolish, Nymphadora," Voldemort narrowed his eyes at her disapprovingly. It was more than enough time for the rest of the Order. All at once, Remus, Kingsley and Mad-Eye began dueling Voldemort, just able to keep themselves standing with their numbers.

The rest of the Death Eaters made to help but then Harry leaped off the ground, tackling Lucius. Everything slowed, almost having sort of an underwater quality to the scene as the Death Eaters froze in horror. Tonks watched as the prophecy slipped out of his hand, shattering on the ground.

"No!" Voldemort roared. For a second time that day, strong dark magic swept everyone and everything away. Tonks winced as the back of her head hit something hard.

"Harry, run! As I told you!" Sirius shouted from his position on the ground. Harry bolted. Nymphadora didn't wait another second. She half apparated herself; realizing that she was still mobile. She flew after Harry, hoping it seems like she was preventing his escape. She knew the Dark Lord will not be far behind.

Her body ached as she flew but she was gaining on Harry and if she was lucky, she might be able to help him get away by floo before Voldemort gets to them.

The boy was going to the Atrium and upon arriving, she knew why. Dumbledore stepped out of a fireplace in a flash of green fire.

She landed, stumbling.

"Why hello, Nymphadora," Dumbledore greeted, his voice neutral but he brandished his wand swiftly.

Turning, she saw Voldemort, a look of mild surprised and a little fear, Tonks' could've sworn she saw, flitted across his face.

"Tom, you shouldn't have come-"

Voldemort didn't wait, sending jet of green to Harry. Without a moment of hesitation, Dumbledore shoved Harry to the ground with strength beyond his old age. Tonks met Dumbledore's eye for a moment and instantly fall flat to the ground as the spells from Dumbledore's and Voldemort's wand collided. Tonks grimaced as she felt the heat licking at her skin.

Glancing up, Tonks glimpsed Voldemort summoning a large fiery snake. She hadn't had a moment to lose. She stumbled to her feet as she ran to Harry. The poor boy was curled up against the brick wall of the fireplace, his hands over his head.

"Harry!" Tonks wrapped her hand around his wrist only for Harry to lash out, his hands flailing as he tried to get away from her. She ducked frantically as a jet of curse skimmed pass her from Harry's wand, "Harry! I won't hurt you!" She snapped. Harry looked up. His striking green eyes studied her for a moment before they hardened with resolute and he nodded at her. Tonks heaved a sigh of relief inwardly, "Hit me," she stated and watched as his jaw drop.

"What-"

"Do it," Tonks said impatiently, "then take off to the fireplace and floo away,"

Harry bit his lips, his hand staying stubbornly at his side; shaking his head, "I'm not going to run away, Tonks." He turned away from her, staring at the floor.

"You are the boy who lived," She grabbed him around the shoulder, hissing at him, "you're the reason we're doing this, you have to understand how important you are."

Harry looked at her wide-eyed but recovered quickly to speak, "But-"

"If you die, this war is lost," She seethed, getting increasingly impatient.

"Tonks-"

"Everyone will be okay, you can't help here anymore," she murmured to him hurriedly, "I give you my word. Everyone will return safe and sound,"

Harry hesitated for a moment before nodding.

"Stun me,"

Harry frowned doubtfully but did so. She felt the stunner hit in her square in the chest. Tonks fell back at being stunned at such a close range. Harry bolted for the fireplace.

"No!" she glanced back upon Voldemort's cry of rage. He was watching as Harry got away, "Get him!" Voldemort shrieked, struggling under the spell Dumbledore had pressed upon him.

Tonks got into action. She jumped up and stumbled after Harry. Just as she made a 'leap' at a last attempt to get Harry, he flooed away upon shooting her a small worried smile.

She fell flat on her face by the fireplace.

Tonks glanced back to see Voldemort practically getting mauled by Dumbledore. Silently, she prayed this is the end; this was where Dumbledore will finally kill him once and for all. But that would be too easy.

Suddenly, the fireplaces started bursting with green flames and Tonks instantly morphed, taking the form she had initially.

She watched as Voldemort glanced up to see the ministers filing in.

In another moment, Tonks watched with disdain as Voldemort half apparated away while the ministry workers stood gawking.

Tonks leaped into action. She just couldn't be caught. She half-apparated back to the veil room. The death eaters were still duelling the Order but Tonks didn't have a moment to spare. She landed in the middle of the room. Pointing her wand to the door that led to the atrium, Tonks sealed it temporarily with a strong spell. Satisfied, she pointed her wand to the ceiling and muttered an incantation. Green sparks flew up from her wand, bursting above her before forming a vivid green Dark Mark above her.

It was a signal for all the death eaters and they took it as such. Cackling madly, they all apparated away. Tonks waited for them. Within the death eaters, it was everyone for themselves. But within the order, the person in charged of the mission will also have the unsaid responsibility to make sure everyone was safe before leaving. Despite her current prospect, Tonks knew deep down that she wasn't trained by the death eaters; she was trained by Mad-Eye Moody and will always be part of the Order. So Tonks waited

Tonks looked up to see the green sparks that form the dark mark disappeared into a shower of sparks which started to fall around her.

She glimpsed Dolohov, who was dueling Remus, apparating away.

Tonks watched; her heart breaking as Remus rounded to look at her. She was standing atop the platform where the veil was destroyed.

He was weary and perhaps beaten but his eyes shone with worry and somewhat, longing. She too found that she couldn't look away. He took a step to her, pleading her not to leave with them. But to stay, forget the mission and stay with them where she would be safe. But Tonks knew she had a mission, she waved her wand and the room disappeared, as did Remus.

Tonks found herself outside the Riddle Mansion. The tall gates towering over her.

Around her, Death Eaters appeared. They all had grim looks on their faces. Most of them were bleeding and bruised but that didn't seem to bother them. Tonks turned to look at them to make sure she could account for the losses when she was asked. This was her first mission and Tonks had no idea how the after-mission chat would be like but in her gut, Tonks knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

She noticed only Jugson was missing. Tonks was surprised to see Jensen standing at the end of the group; grimacing in pain. Then her eyes skimmed over the rest.

Yaxley, Dolohov, Rowle, Sirius, Rookwood-

Tonks doubled back. There he is. Sirius Black, her beloved cousin was lying limply on the floor, his arm held by Rowle. He seemed unconscious.

"What have you done," Tonks hissed at Rowle. He barely flinched but rather narrowed his eyes and studied her suspiciously.

"I captured Sirius Black," He smirked, "And I will be heavily rewarded," He began laughing like a raving lunatic. Tonks rolled her eyes; she has had enough of madness for one day.

Tonks pulled her fist back and before Rowle could let out another sick laugh, Tonks punched him in the face, knocking him out cold.

"You-" Yaxley stepped forward but Tonks was already whipping out her wand, blind folding Sirius.

"This idiot could've just given away our location," Tonks growled, watching Yaxley warningly at the corner of her eye. He had a big build but she wasn't intimidated.

Yaxley looked doubtfully at her before letting it rest for now. Besides, the Dark Lord apparent favouritism upon her seems to speak volume about her place within the Death Eaters. Tonks made to grab for Sirius' arm but froze as she heard a cackle to her right. Bellatrix was looking at Sirius' unconscious body with a crazed gleam in her eye that couldn't possibly mean anything good.

Tonks glanced to see her Aunt wielding the wand. Bellatrix took a purposeful stride to Sirius and throwing all the caution to the wind, Tonks stepped in between them. Bellatrix scowled and then smirked.

"Insolent wretch, get out of my way," Bellatrix hissed, her voice sickly sweet.

"No," Tonks stated firmly, her wand too tightly clutched in her hand, "the fate of Black will lie with the Dark Lord's judgment,"

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes before seething, "the Dark Lord will let me have my way,"

Deep down, Tonks know that is exactly what the Dark Lord will do but on the exterior, Tonks knew what she had to do and she did exactly that; she remained calm, jutted her chin out in the haughty gesture she'd only seen in the Blacks and stride up to the mansion, dragging Sirius along.

She bit her lips. Now Sirius was here and so was she. But Tonks knew there is no way she could help him escape without giving herself away; not now at least. Tonks could only pray for her cousin as she herself dragged him into the serpent's lair where more horrors await.

"My Lord," Tonks bowed as did the others as they came to a stop in the hall. Voldemort was standing by the chair, one hand stroking Nagini, the other holding his wand carelessly. He stopped upon her greeting and before she knew it, he swept his wand across the room and everyone collapsed under the agony of the cruciatus curse.

Tonks felt like her body was being torn apart. She soon lost all sensation but the pain that set her body alight.

"Fools," Voldemort strutted up to them, Nagini following by his side. Tonks gritted her teeth, willing herself not to scream with the pain. She glimpsed Voldemort towering over Lucius who was writhing upon the floor. Voldemort smirked down at him and instantly, Lucius let out an agonizing howl. She winced for him.

Then she heard a sickening crack and Lucius howled even louder. Tonks squeezed her eyes shut; not wanting to see what Voldemort did to poor Lucius.

Then Voldemort rounded upon her, without letting up on his cruciatus curse, he lifted her magically off the ground so she was levitated at eye level to him.

"Nymphadora," He crooned, "you… disappoint me," Voldemort seethed, his blood red eyes furious.

Tonks steeled her gaze, "I will do better-" Before she could finish, she saw Voldemort brandish his wand at her. Without a second thought, he pressed the tip of his wand into her inner arm, where the scar sat.

Her arm burnt like never before. She screamed, not in pain but in horror. He was giving her the Dark Mark and Tonks know it. She could feel the tip of his wand seemingly drilling its way into her skin.

This Mark was more than what it seemed to everyone. She felt the burn in her arm beginning, then it spreaded. It slithered up her arm to her shoulder like a serpent and stopped at her chest where her heart was. The heat intensified, concentrated solely on her chest.

She wanted to yank her arm away but found herself completely immobilized. Without thought, Tonks threw her head back and let out another horrified scream.

The pain dug deeper and Tonks felt like she was about to burst from the heart. How anyone can survive this ordeal was completely unimaginable to her. No, it wasn't. This was exactly what she always wanted to be; different. All her life, that was what she is. Spoken like a true Hufflepuffs, there were no odds too great; Hufflepuffs do not fear hardship, they relish in it and thrive.

She struggled, choking on the pain in her chest as she tried to cry out again. She didn't want the mark; she didn't want to be bad.

Tonks clearly knew who she is and Voldemort is trying to change her, to recreate her.

Gritting her teeth to the pain, Tonks cried out in sheer anger. She felt the overwhelming release of magic from within her, riding the pain and allowing it to fuel her magic. Suddenly, she was on the floor, sprawled beside Sirius.

She glanced up to see that Voldemort was now about two paces away from her than he was previously. He was regarding her with narrowed eyes.

"What is this," She heard him mutter and glanced where he looked. On her arm was an angry red mark but it looked nothing more than a fading bruise. Roaring in rage, Voldemort began destroying the room. Tonks grimaced as a heavy tile hit her on the back but she stayed on the floor, shielding her head. The room itself shook. If Tonks was honestly, she was truly frightened. How were they to defeat someone so powerful?

She covered her ears, not wanting to listen to Voldemort's release of sheer fury and frustration.

"You," Voldemort stopped all of a sudden and the cruciatus curse suddenly began to ebb away. Around her, the death eaters started to relax, all on the floor. Tonks tried pathetically to scramble away but couldn't do it in time as Nagini lashed at her. The serpent wrapped its thick body around her neck, its long tail around her torso; suffocating her.

She spluttered for air but Nagini didn't relent till Voldemort took a step towards her.

"You really are something special," He leaned forward.

Tonks stared back defiantly, her hands gripped on the scaly body of Nagini which was wrapped firmly around her neck.

Then she felt the probe; it was so swift. It shattered her barriers but her last defense, the one shielding her true self. Voldemort saw Snape tending to her wounds, he saw Bellatrix torturing her, he saw Tonks running into Sirius' arms. Then he saw her dashing back to the veil, shooting the signal sky high and waiting as the death eaters tried to escape one by one. The images of her life were flashing by so fast Tonks felt her eyes roll to the back of her head. Her head threaten to burst from the pressure building up as her mind was overwhelmed.

Then it stopped abruptly. Voldemort had settled on one. It was one of Mad-Eye and her. They were on the floor and Tonks was huddled up into his arms, her shoulders shaking.

Tonks could feel the thrill run through Voldemort's twisted mind before he withdrew; smirking. She felt nausea.

"Are you going to kill me?" Tonks found her voice asking coldly. Nagini hissed at her but Tonks was unfazed.

Voldemort regarded her with cold amusement, "and is that what you want, Nymphadora? You rather die then serve me? Die than do my bidding and hurt your friends? Your mentor; our dear Alastor Moody?" He taunted her.

Tonks glared.

"It is a pity," Voldemort leaned back, her wand held casually in his hand, "but no, not today. You will die Nymphadora Tonks, but serving me and for me only."

She shuddered, her stand faltering. Deep down, what he wanted has already happened, in a matter of speaking. She has died because of him; the Nymphadora Tonks that was once colorful and filled with life and love. Now, Tonks would look in the mirror as she wore her bubblegum pink hair and wonder who on earth is looking back at her. She kept changing; Tonks was certain she'll forget who she is, eventually.

"No, I won't, not again," Tonks shot back, her voice shaky and weary.

Voldemort turned away and Nagini unfurled around her, leaving to drop lifelessly to the floor. She didn't resist as she felt someone drag her away from the hall. Even as that someone hauled her into the cell. She landed hard on her front but Tonks remained unmoving. She laid there even as she heard the cell door clank shut behind her.

She hurt; everywhere. Her head was throbbing prominently among other pains.

Somewhere else in the cell, Tonks could hear movement.

"Where-" The voice halted and groaned. It was then did Tonks realize she was hauled into the same cell as Sirius; who had just woken up. She listened to him groan and then scrambled to his feet. She lay there, unmoving.

All of a sudden, Tonks found herself sobbing quietly but she didn't move to rub her tears away. She left them to seep into the floor just like when she was just a small kid; when she didn't have anything else to worry about but the next bruise, where it would hurt really badly. _Was__that__really__her?_

Her jumbled mind fumbled with the details, even the simplest but everything slipped from her grasp. As Sirius let out another groan, it struck her. She got herself landed here with no way out. Worst of all, she'd gotten Sirius captured; Sirius Black, her cousin whom she'd loved like a brother. She remembered now. She had a loving cousin, and he babysat her when she was young and lively. A strangled sob escape her as comprehension dawned.

"Nymphie?" she heard Sirius whisper somewhere behind her. Her fuzzy mind confirmed that he was calling her childhood nickname he used to annoy her. She didn't find the strength in her to reply him but the tears kept coming in hoards. Then Tonks felt Sirius scoop her up from the floor and into his arms. He gently maneuvered her so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, "shh," He hushed, pressing his cheek to the top of hers just like how he used to when she'd burst into tears from a fall.

"S-Sirius," She whimpered, "it's-it's all my fault…" Tonks cried, clinging onto his bloodied robe for dear life.

"My dear cousin, what on earth are you babbling about?" Sirius muttered, kissing her forehead.

"I-"

"Alright," He cooed at her again, beginning to rock back and forth subconsciously, "talk later," And Tonks clamped her mouth shut, burying her face into his shoulder.

She felt ridiculously childish but Tonks couldn't stop it. Her body ached, her mind was in fragments and she was frightened; she couldn't stop her limbs from trembling in sheer terror but Sirius was surprisingly patient with her; even when they were both stuck in this cold place. Then, Tonks began to realise; this is the true spirit of a Gryffindor. It was bravery. In the face of danger, they'd laugh, they'd cry but they'd never cower.

Not like her.

But Tonks didn't let that bother her. It wasn't just because she was a proud Hufflepuff; it wasn't the point. The point was she has a brother and he is a Gryffindor; and he is here, to protect her.

"Nymphie?" Sirius spoke when she stopped sobbing and her body stopped trembling in erratic hiccups, "better?" he smoothed her hair back from her face.

Tonks reckoned she looked horrible with her pale face and red rimmed eyes but she really couldn't care less. She knew Sirius had seen her like that more than a couple of time when he'd babysat her. She bit her lips, nodding.

"Okay," Sirius took a deep breath, "Where the hell are we?" He asked with a ridiculously serious expression.

Tonks couldn't help but let out a watery giggle, "In the dungeon," Sirius cracked a smile.

"Lemme guess, we're in trouble again eh?" He smirked; his tone as if he's asking about how they ended up in detention from a school prank. She nodded solemnly and Sirius laughed, "Got my wand?" Sirius patted his pocket.

"No. And I don't have mine either," She shook her head, smiles gone.

Sirius sighed.

"Sirius," Tonks murmured, curling up in his embrace, "I hardly remember…"

"Did you get hurt?" He ran his hand over her scalp.

She shook her head, impatiently avoiding his concerned touch, "myself. I'm forgetting who I was,"

"Am," Sirius corrected, "as far as I'm concerned, Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks has always been the same, from the day she crawled around in her nappies to this very moment."

Tonks raised her brows.

"Alright, maybe not so much the same, physically-"

"I'm not the same," Tonks interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore of Sirius' jokes. This is not the time.

"You are," Sirius replied simply, "where it matters, you have never changed,"

"No-"

"Your heart, Nymphie," Sirius whispered, "I see it every time I see you. And to this day, it remains pure," He kissed her temple, "give yourself time. Calm down. You will remember everything as clear as day. I'd bet it's getting all fuzzy in there," He teased momentarily before he continued; "Some people might ring a bell. Remus, for example."

Tonks ignored the gleam of tease in his eyes and that smirk as she pondered the name. Her bruised heart swelled and warmed, in a comforting manner.

"Remus…" She murmured, "Remus John Lupin."

"Last time I checked, that's his name," Sirius declared, his eyes brightening significantly. Tonks manage a chuckle as she thought.

"I love him," She realised. She felt Sirius shudder dramatically.

"Cousin, spare me the gory details," He shivered. Tonks laughed. She still couldn't pull a face from the name. The faces are all jumbled up as well. But somehow, the name itself tugged at her heartstrings endearingly.

"He looked into me," Tonks spoke softly into his robes, "he made a mess of them," her finger lightly traced the top of the tattoo on his chest that was peeking out from beneath his robes.

"Legilimency," Sirius mumbled and he sighed in realization. Tonks, however, frowned, even more puzzled, "Nymphie, just rest alright. Don't think too hard. It'll all rearrange itself in a while."

If she was confused before, she was completely lost now. Tonks didn't identify many memories with her beloved cousin but she knew one thing; Sirius Black was erratic.

Silence enveloped the pair before Tonks felt the need to speak, "What do _you_ remember? From before," Tonks asked soberly.

Suddenly, Sirius looked sheepish, "Not much. One minute I was there, the next, I see you sending the dark mark into the air and I felt something behind me. Then, I'm here," Sirius rubbed the back of his head, wincing.

"Rowle," Tonks supplied, the name clicking into place with the scenario he explained to her.

Sirius muttered an incoherent curse before gazing down at her with genuine concern, "how are you feeling now?"

"Sore," Tonks admitted but couldn't help but laugh when Sirius waggled an eyebrow at her, "not like that pervert!" Leave it to Sirius Black to make her laugh in situations like that.

"What did he do to you?" Sirius growled.

Tonks hesitated, searching her mind before providing the answer cautiously, "It's my punishment," Tonks shrugged, the words flowing out of her mouth easier than she'd thought it would, "Lucius didn't get it any better either,"

Sirius grinned, "I'd bet. Harry always had the fight in him, just like James." They let the silence fill the cell for a moment, both lost in thought.

Tonks found her mind gravitating back to Remus John Lupin. To his moment, he remained a mystery. The only face she remembered clearly was that of the Dark Lord, his bloodshot eyes glaring at her, his already thin lips pursed. Remus loved to read…Tonks remembered, the picture forming; still frustratingly without a face. He was cradling a book in his hands, then…then it was her in his arms. The pieces snapped into place like a puzzle.

He loved her. They'd kissed but nothing much more intimate than that. Remus was a werewolf, he was Sirius' best mate from school and he is in the Order of Phoenix. That was how she met him.

"What are you smiling about?" Sirius teased, poking her rib gently.

"Remus," She blurted and Tonks blushed, berating herself. She dared a glance to see Sirius smirking.

"You're obsessed with him Cuz. Even in the midst of amnesia!" He marveled in feign awe. Tonks blinked.

_They were in Grimmauld; Remus was leaning over the table close to her, too close. She'd kissed him. He looked startled but pleased. He looked wonderful in simple cardigan over a worn shirt and trousers. Tonks loved the ways his eyes shifted as he took in the sight of her; when they softened from contemplating to confusion before elation. _

"_Ohh… So some people have been busy last night…" Sirius smirked, that mischievous marauder grin showing, "I've missed a good show!" He lamented dramatically. _

"_Nip it, Padfoot!" Tonks snapped, pelting dried bread on Sirius. A smile played on her lips as she sipped the hot chocolate, moaning as the sweet and warm drink flowed down to her stomach. She glanced up to see Remus round the table and took a seat opposite her. _

"_Moony does make the most delicious chocolate…He is more responsible than me…" Sirius held his chin contemplatively, the mischievous look in his eyes betraying his serious expression, "but I'm more handsome! And…I'm more fun!" He protested, looking up like a child. _

"_And more childish," Tonks grinned, glancing at Remus. He too had a slight smile on. _

"_Oi! I resent that!" Sirius scowled, "I am a mature-" Both Tonks and Remus cleared their throats, coughing deliberately. _

"_Oh, so you cleaned yourself up to impress me?" Tonks bit her lips, smiling. Sirius turned to her in what looked like a lovesick git. _

_Sirius spread his arms theatrically, "You have no idea how much I pined for you my-" _

"_Stop," Tonks stuck her tongue out in disgust. _

_Sirius laughed, "You have no idea how Moony do that," He playfully glared at Remus. _

"_Oh, I wouldn't mind if that were the case. A little Gilderoy Lockhart is good but just…not on you," Tonks stood, finishing up her hot chocolate and helping herself to two biscuits on the table. She walked around to Remus and hugged him briefly, "Off to work," She mumbled into his ear, mildly pressing her lips to the soft spot below his ear. _

"_Careful," He muttered as they separated._

Subconsciously, Tonks reached up to brush her lips with her fingers, trying to memorise and submit to permanent memory the feel of his skin under them. However, she winced as they came in contact with a painfully split bottom lip.

"I love him," Tonks concluded decidedly, looking up at Sirius to register his reaction. He smiled, instead of her expected response of a gag.

"I know. And he loves you back," Sirius smirked, "get that into your skull please," Tonks giggled, squirming as he tickled her side. Their amusement soon faded as almost at the same time, the cold of the dungeon bit down on their skin.

"What does he say he want with us?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," Tonks mumbled, running her finger down her inner arm where the scar is, "He tried to give me the mark…"

"What?" Sirius bolted upright, startling Tonks. He anxiously reached for her arm, searching both before looking up at her in puzzlement, "where-"

"It didn't work," Tonks pursed her lips.

"How?" Sirius frowned, "No one has ever…"

"I know," She grumble, frustrated, "Sirius," She sat up, facing him earnestly, "when he tried to give me the mark, I can feel that thing tugging at me. I didn't give in. There was too much at stake and I cracked. I couldn't take another minute of it. I just cracked. I couldn't bring up my defenses when he-" Her voice turned hoarse, "I failed Sirius, he knows now. I-"

"Cousin, listen to me," Sirius cupped her face in his hands, putting a stop to her incessant babbling; "you didn't crack. You're so brave. Your loyalty gives you that. Even the Mark couldn't take that away from you,"

"Sirius…" Tonks' vision blurred as her eyes fill up with tears, "I don't want to stay here anymore," She found herself scrunching up the front of his robes in her fists, "take me away from here, please," She shook him weakly.

Sirius nodded, "Okay, Nymphie, I promise. I'll get you out of here, forever." He coaxed her, wiping her tears away with his thumb gently.

Remus was pacing again. His hair was in a haphazard mess. Glancing up, Mad-Eye was sitting but his mechanical blue eye was whirling so fast that it made Remus nausea from looking at it. The old Auror had his wand clutched in one hand, his walking stick in another. Kingsley was sitting rigidly beside Mad-Eye, his fingers tented on the table in front of him. Opposite Kingsley, Arthur was glaring ahead. Remus had never seen the patriarch of the Weasley family so furious.

Bill was sitting closest to Remus, a clenched fist on the table. Tension filled the air as the no one spoke.

The kids were safely brought to Hogwarts to get treated from their wounds. Dumbledore had returned to Hogwarts. The Order had returned to Grimmauld but realized there was one of them missing; Sirius. They hadn't bothered with their wounds despite the fact that many of them were covered in cuts and bruises, some which bled. They were awaiting instructions from their leader.

Kingsley had sent a patronus to Dumbledore at Hogwarts about Sirius' absence and probably, capture and now they were awaiting the reply.

Remus broke the silence, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. Nymphadora was also out there. Remus isn't stupid. She was on this mission. That woman who had held a striking resemblance to Bellatrix Lestrange was her. At first, Remus had mistaken her for Bellatrix.

He'd attacked her out of a moment of anger which he saw her looking towards Sirius and Harry. When she'd turn to meet his eye, Remus knew she wasn't Lestrange but he also knew she's a death eater. He'd attacked her mercilessly till he'd finally got the best of her. She was distracted and one moment was all it took for Remus to cast the leg locker on her. But when Remus was ready to deliver the final blow, he just stopped. At that time, Remus had berated and cursed but he didn't even think the spell.

He stared.

He recognized her when their eyes had met. Her jaw was set in a stubbornness that only rivaled Sirius but through her eyes, Remus knew she trusted him and he was confused. But realization sank in just as she released herself and bolt off to help Mad-Eye. Then, Remus couldn't have been surer whom he'd dueled and hurt.

He'd cursed himself and stared after her and paid the price when Dolohov hit him with a curse that sent him to the ground. The rest ended quickly. Mad-Eye ordered them all to evacuate immediately upon the Death Eater's departure and here they were; sitting while Sirius and Nymphadora suffered at the hands of Voldemort.

Remus' heart wrenched painfully at the thought. He'd foolishly expressed his desire for her to stay when she'd made to go off after the rest of the Death Eater. Remus already knew what she was going back to but since the prophecy was shattered; the treatment they were getting was a whole other story. He'd plead with her and Remus saw the torn look in her eyes before she left anyway. He had made it even harder for her and he hated himself for that.

"Remus," Bill placed a hand on his shoulder.

Remus turned to regard Bill, unable to find it in him to nod. Until Bill flinched then did Remus realized he'd glared at the poor boy.

Then everyone jumped out their seat, having heard the door to Grimmauld open. For a moment there, Remus' heart filled with hope of the possibility of seeing Nymphadora walk through that door, dragging Sirius behind her. But that wasn't possible and true enough, Dumbledore walked calmly through the door, taking a seat at the head of the table.

"I understand from Kingsley's patronus that Sirius hadn't returned?" Dumbledore spoke, still the picture of calmness. Remus didn't appreciate it though; the worry was driving him insane. Around the table, most of them nodded. "At this time, we have no way of retrieving Sirius. If he's still at the ministry, I am certain, we will know of this. However if Sirius is captured, Nymphadora and Severus will see to it and we will only act till further notice,"

Remus found himself sitting opposite Dumbledore, his fist clenched till his knuckles were white. His fists, which were on the table, were trembling. He couldn't hear Mad-Eye speak to Dumbledore. He just heard the deafening roar of worry in his ears, making his head hurt. Dumbledore was asking them to sit tight and wait. Remus wasn't sure he could wait anymore.

"Is there no way we can contact Severus-" Bill asked but Dumbledore raised a hand to stop him.

"Severus will contact us when he have any information that may be of use to us that might help us save Sirius," Dumbledore replied, "Contacting Severus will only endanger his position,"

"And what about Nymphadora?" Remus spoke through gritted teeth.

"Nymphadora will also contact us when she-"

"That's not what I meant," Remus interrupted before he could stop himself, "how will we get her out?"

"Nymphadora will be just fine-"

"She is not fine. He will punish her. Voldemort," Bill and Arthur cringed, "will punish her tonight. Don't you all see? This is her mission. And she failed," Remus looked up to see the idea he propose sink into their heads. Bill paled, Mad-Eye was now glaring at the table, Kingsley buried his face in his hands, and Arthur tensed.

"Remus," Dumbledore paused, "at this moment, we can only keep our calm and wait for Severus to provide us with inside information before we can act upon what we are given. It will be pointless to go on a blind hunt,"

Remus stared at the headmaster for a moment, feeling rage threaten to spill. Rubbing his face furiously with both his hands, Remus stood and bolted up the stairs. He had to get away before he exploded of fury. Despite that full moon was still weeks away, Remus could feel the wolf feeding on his anger hungrily, encouraging him to lose it completely. But as Remus had done this all his life, he kept himself in check, contained the wolf, smoldered the fury with restrain.

Gritting his teeth, refusing to give in to his anger, Remus closed the door to the Black library numbly before turning on the arm chair. Before he could stop himself, he found himself kicking it over magnificently. It took a tumbled, landing noiselessly on the carpet. A tempting thought of destroying it completely came to his mind but Remus clenched his fists, closed his eyes and took a deep breath; regaining control of himself.

He sighed heavily, collapsing wearily into the soft long couch, burying his face into his hands.

Remus let out a long sigh, filled with despair and aching worry, "Nymphadora…"

**To be continued…**

* * *

A/N: I am aware that this is cruelly late but you all have writers' block to thank for that.

This chapter seems to be mainly around interaction between Tonks and Sirius and a little cousin-ly love in the air (RL/NT all the way!). This chapter was originally longer than this but I cut it down, bringing some parts of this chapter to the next so consider the next about a quarter done but still no guarantee when the next one will be up. Hopefully soon!

This chapter may or may not have loads of errors as I did the quick run through check to see it flows properly but I did it with my eyes half closed. I will come back to read this and edit it when errors are spotted so feel free to point them out!

Thanks so much to the readers who inspired this chapter!

newRLNTfan: Thank you so much! This story is AU and much harder to maintain the balance. Haha, you're right but I'm afraid Lupin's 'noble' spirit will definitely come into play a part in this, even if only one or two sentences in this thoughts (minor spoiler though I'm sure no surprises there). Thanks so much again! Admittedly, that was difficult to write, seeing Lupin is so proper and it's harder to anticipate the response of those characters! Thank you!

tt crews: I know how torturing this is but no promises there ;) I think Sirius' fate has obviously not yet been revealed by this chapter but you get the idea of where this is going with Sirius stuck being captured and all. Thank you so much!

Nymphadora-Remus4ever: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Haha, hope this ending is not as suspenseful as the last!

Shadowmaster2323: Thank you so much! Sorry for the seriously long wait!

ME: Haha, hopefully, this ending isn't as painful (: Thanks so much!

Reilly: Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! It can't be avoided ;) I can't resist.

TheMaraudersAreTOTALLYAWESOME: Thank you! Haha, when you put it like that, it does sound ridiculous for Tonks but that is how it is for spies ;)

DMSTonks: Haha, I think this chapter burst your bubble a little? Sirius' fate is apparently still on the edge ;) sorry for the suspense (with Sirius still captured and everything). Thank _you_ for taking time to review!

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LEAVE A REVIEW! Useful stuff those are, against writers' block :)


	25. Chapter 25: Control

Chapter 25: Control

Tonks stirred, sitting up to realise she's been lying beside Sirius the whole time. It was just like how they used to cuddle up and sleep on the carpet by the fireplace; much to Andromeda's annoyance.

Sirius was lying on his back, snoring a little. He looked absolutely at ease despite sleeping in a cold cell. His right arm was slung over her shoulder, his left hand resting over her ear, where he'd stop patting down her hair when he fell asleep.

She smiled. She had a charming cousin, Tonks realised. If he wasn't an Azkaban escapee with the whole Magical Law Enforcement looking for him, Tonks was certain he'll be so busy dating they'll hardly see him around in Grimmauld.

She chuckled at the life Sirius Black could have led if he wasn't framed; if Peter Pettigrew had been caught. Remus still blamed himself to this day and Tonks knew even time would never ravage the guilt of that man; _the __noble __Gryffindor __spirit __could __be __so __annoying __sometimes._

Tonks jumped, startled, as the gate creaked open. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts she hadn't notice someone walk down to the dungeon.

Sirius jolted awake and sat up, his right arm still around Tonks. She squinted into the dark to see a figure closing in on them; followed closely by another behind the first. She tensed; her instinct kicking in.

The person ahead cackled hysterically.

Tonks felt her blood run cold in her veins. Sirius stiffened and tightened his hold around her.

"Bella," Sirius barked a laugh, "To what do I owe such honor?" Tonks turned to see his infamous Black smirk.

"Sirius Black," Bellatrix lit her wand non-verbally so they could see the crazed look in her eyes, "Mingling with this wretch in the dungeon? Marrying cousins has been a tradition but this little piece of shit-"

"Don't finish that!" Sirius growled.

Tonks rolled her eyes at Bellatrix, glancing behind her to see Narcissa. She was fiddling with her wand and looking at them with disdain.

"What is this?" Tonks blurted, her voice cold, "Some family reunion?"

Bellatrix snorted, "We, Blacks, don't mix with products of mudbloods."

"They produce a better lot than the Blacks do," Sirius muttered and before either of them could duck, Tonks heard a whiplash and felt something hit her around the cheek. She fell back, away from Sirius, hitting the back of her head on the floor. Starburst exploded in her vision as she blinked. Her cheek stung.

She scrambled up to see Sirius on his back as well, laughing. A large welt was forming on his cheek.

"Crucio!" Bellatrix screeched and Sirius shriveled up, screaming in sheer agony. Tonks lunged at Bellatrix impulsively, seeing there's nothing else she could do. They tumbled into a heap on the floor with Tonks clawing recklessly at her Aunt with her nails.

"Avada Kedavra!" She shrieked and Tonks felt an arm wrap around her middle, pulling her off Bellatrix. She fell back just as the jet of green skimmed her face. It collided with the wall of the dungeon, sending chipped off rocks ricocheting around the dungeon.

"Nymph, are you okay?" Sirius, whom she owed her life to, scrambled to lean forward. His eyes were wide.

"No," Bellatrix cackled and Tonks collapsed, refusing to scream and give in to the pain. It surged into her body, tearing her insides to bits and putting them to a familiar but never less agonizing inferno, as she writhed.

* * *

Remus jolted upright. He groaned, his sore neck aching sharply. Bringing up a hand to knead his sore and tensed neck, he stood from the couch and glanced around. He was in the Black Library. Then Remus realized he'd fallen asleep. For a moment, he wondered where Sirius was but then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

He was missing; captured probably.

_And Nymphadora…_

He felt a dull hollow ache in his chest.

Remus closed his eyes momentarily before he heard a loud crash downstairs. He jumped, startled before whipping out his wand and running downstairs. He ignored Walburga Black's screeching portrait and burst into the kitchen.

Mad-Eye was sitting in the chair in the otherwise empty kitchen. Remus glanced towards the counter to see a shattered ceramic pot.

"Accident," Mad-Eye muttered in his more than usual raspy voice.

He relaxed, stowing away his wand and rounding the table, taking furtive glances towards the shattered pot. It looked gruesome. Its fragments were in small bits and pieces, not a single piece of the poor pot looked bigger than Remus's palm. He didn't know what happened but he knew Alastor Moody didn't have accidents. Mad-Eye was always cautious and Remus wondered why he even allowed this to happen now.

Remus took a glance at the Auror, puzzled. Mad-Eye had a hand on his walking stick, the other on the table, curled in a tight fist. The retired auror himself was staring at the table with both eyes intently, as if willing the table to collapse under the mere probe of his stare.

Comprehension dawned slowly on Remus' heavily laden mind. He himself had done accidental magic, especially when he was young. It wasn't something he could explain. It just came and went as it wished; when he felt angry, or even extreme agony or fear could bring about accidental magic.

For a moment, Remus looked upon the old retired Auror with a different eye. Mad-Eye isn't just a ridiculously paranoid and heartless ex-Auror as everyone thought. He was a person who has been through a lot more than anyone could understand. Mad-Eye, like everyone else, too had emotions that sometimes he couldn't control. Guilt filled Remus as it occurred to him that he had never thought of Mad-Eye that way.

No one truly knew him; on a personal level. Maybe Dumbledore but he could very well be the only man alive to this day who even knew Mad-Eye. There was not another soul who knew the man who once smiled or wept, the man who had no qualms about revealing his emotions to the people around him.

Mad-Eye hid them so well now that Remus wondered if Moody had always been like that. Without a weakness, such as losing control of his emotions.

"Don't look so surprised boy," Mad-Eye spoke impatiently; his strident voice startling Remus.

Remus fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat when he realized Mad-Eye was looking at him now, very attentively and that he had just called him, Remus Lupin, _a__boy_… Suddenly, Mad-Eye made him feel small.

"Sorry," Remus averted his stare, watching the wood of the table.

"I told Albus. I tried to tell him this would happen," Mad-Eye grunted all of a sudden and once again, Remus was surprised to hear resentment in his surly tone, "but he wouldn't listen. He insisted she was more than capable-"

"Nymphadora is capable," Remus blurted and regretted it as Mad-Eye stopped talking and stared at him. "I have all the faith in her abilities, as an Auror." Remus continued.

"As do I," Remus could not deny the slight affection in his tone as he said it, "but this isn't about her capability. This is life or death, and a little luck," with that, Mad-Eye stood, pushing back the wooden chair which emitted a jarring grating sound of wood against concrete.

Remus cringed as the truth hit him. This is true. No matter now capable Nymphadora is, she could never defeat or even outrun so many experience death eaters and Voldemort himself. Her fate was now completely dependant on Voldemort's decision. Then Remus did something he'd never thought he would do or have ever believed in since he'd been bitten. Remus prayed.

* * *

Agony was all she could feel and recall for the past hour. Her ears were roaring, blocking out whatever sounds that was emitted around her. She lay limply on the cold floor, her head was reeling and she was sure it was bleeding but she couldn't feel it.

However, her mind remained sturdy. Bit by bit, her memories were pieces itself together. She began to fabricate an ideal world; where there was no pain or suffering, just love. It acted as a sanctuary, for where her mind could retreat in time of trouble, times like this.

She blinked, seeing a blurry version of her Aunt's feet nearing her. She could hear speaking in a high pitched mockery but couldn't make out the words. Suddenly, she was magically lifted at the tip of Bellatrix's wand. Her vision came into focus and Tonks could see Sirius also held immobilised at the tip of Narcissa's wand. He looked hysterical. Her cousin was screaming at Bellatrix but her ears didn't acknowledge it.

Suddenly, she was thrown back against the stone wall and Tonks felt the back of her head hit the wall.

"No!" Sirius' roar filled her ears.

Tonks had completely lost sensation of her limbs. They felt unattached to her. She watched blearily as Bellatrix sauntered towards her, a smirk on her lips.

"No! Do it to me! Torture me!" Sirius bellowed, "Leave her alone!" His last cry sounded more pleading than demanding and Tonks cringed.

Bellatrix paused, cackling, "As attractive is the offer dear Sirius, why would I do that? When I can watch you writhe in pain by beating this little wretch?"

Tonks glimpsed Narcissa cringe and she did a double take. _Was __that __really __a __cringe?_

"Cissy, closer. So he can watch his baby cousin hurt," Bellatrix cooed in a sickeningly high pitched voice, bursting out with laughter.

"You're sick," Sirius spat.

Tonks struggled to clear her blurring vision and saw Sirius nearing her, at the mercy of Narcissa Malfoy. She saw Bellatrix open her mouth to mutter another curse but before the pain could hit her, the cell door creaked open.

Snape appeared at the entrance, taking in the scene with pursed lips before turning to Bellatrix, "You overdid it,"

"The Dark Lord didn't specify how I shall go around pruning my family tree, Severus," Bellatrix sneered and turned to face Snape fully.

"You're supposed to keep her alive," Snape droned; his tone monotonous and completely devoid of any emotion.

"She is," Bellatrix replied lazily; a tinge of disappointment in her voice.

"Barely," Snape retorted.

"Bella," Narcissa spoke, "this will be enough for today. Anymore and we will have killed her," A beat, "The Dark Lord will not be pleased,"

Bellatrix glanced between Tonks' limpless form leaning against the wall and Sirius who was watching his cousin with pained desperation.

With a light huff, Bellatrix and Narcissa strutted out of the dungeon, the former glaring at Severus as she passed him.

Tonks heard Sirius collapse to the floor beside her as Narcissa's levitation charm on him faded upon her departure.

"Cuz," Sirius breathed and Tonks felt herself being lifted off the wall and into his warm embrace. Her wounds were beginning to sting as the seemingly endless pain faded, "are you alright?" He murmured before chuckling bitterly, "What am I asking? Of course you're not…" Sirius pulled her closer in a gentle hug.

"Sirius," She managed, barely audible. He pulled back and Tonks realized there were tears in his eyes. Sirius glanced up before fixing his gaze on the floor.

"Thank you," Sirius said thickly, blinking away tears.

"Feed this to her," Snape muttered, tossing a vial to Sirius. He caught it neatly, popping open the cork with fumbling fingers.

"What it is?" Sirius asked quietly as he hesitated.

"It will lessen the exceptionally agonizing effect that Dark Magic tended to have on its victims," His lips curled in distaste at Sirius.

Sirius questioned no further, "Here," Sirius whispered as it held up Tonks' head, gently tipping the potion into her mouth.

"No," Tonks murmured as the vile tasting dark liquid touch her tongue, her brows furrowing as she tried to squirm away, twisting her head away from him.

"Hey, come on," Sirius urged her gently, squeezing her around the shoulders. It hurt, a little but she wasn't about to whine about it and make him worry more. Tonks bit her lips and glanced blearily at him.

His brows were furrowed together, watching her intently. His eyes are a deep grey, just like hers. Both their parents as well as most of the Blacks had black iris. She blinked, missing what he'd said in her reverie but he pressed the lip of the vial to her mouth. Tonks would've rolled her eyes at his insistence if not for the fatigue eating at her. She relented and took the potion, her nose scrunching up as the bitter taste hit her throat.

She missed little moments like this. She had not seen her cousin acting his way for a long time and despite the situation, Tonks was thankful Sirius was here. With his presence, it made being tortured –as crazy this sounded- more bearable. He was solid, real and he loved and cared for her. With him here, Tonks could be certain she was not losing her mind; that this torture has not been what her whole life was and somewhere out there, she had people who loved her and whom she loved very much.

The potion was finished and Tonks felt her eyelids get heavier. She leaned into Sirius' chest, heaving a small sigh of relief everything was finally over; for today. Sleep tug at her mind; a tempting offer that she was most probably accepting if not for the unexpected beginning of a conversation.

"What does he want with us?" Sirius looked up and asked; defeated. Tonks was admittedly surprised. She had never heard him like that. Even when his own mother disowned him, his voice was always one of bravery and defiance.

"Us?" Snape muttered, narrowing his eyes, "There is never an 'us', Black. The Dark Lord wants Nymphadora's allegiance. You, you are just a pawn,"

"Why?" Sirius scowled, "why Nymphadora? She's just a girl…my baby cousin," she saw Sirius glance down at her, worried and Tonks felt a tinge akin to annoyance at his babying her but then she felt loved and touched.

"Just a girl," Snape echoed with a sneer, "who also happens to be an Auror and a Metamorphagus,"

"A polyjuice potion and one of his death eaters will suffice," Sirius snapped, his arms tightening firmly around her.

"Black, you really are naïve," Snape folded his arms across his chest haughtily but Sirius barely blinked at the insult, "Nymphadora isn't all the Dark Lord wants. It's the victory,"

Sirius paused a beat.

"It's sick," Sirius spat, "She's my cousin! She's my family! I won't let him do that to her."

"Your bravery is commendable but if you want to get out of here alive, I suggest you do as I tell you," Snape retorted, "The dark lord will not hesitated to kill you I will not hesitate to let you die,"

"Fine," Sirius hissed, "just not her,"

Snape snorted, "Gryffindors and they're stupidity,"

Sirius swallowed his retort, "What are you going at?" He demanded.

"I can get you out of here," Snape pursed his lips as if that very idea disgusted him.

Sirius regarded the offer suspiciously, "And Nymphadora?" They both ignored the small whine of protest at the mention of her name.

"Will live," Snape said, without missing a beat, "as long as Sirius Black does exactly as I say," His expression may have passed as being a little smug and that of gloating, if Sirius still cared about antagonizing him.

Sirius glared, "How?"

"You have to give me your word that you will," Snape raised both brows as if doubting Sirius' intellect.

"Just tell me what I need to do,"

* * *

"Remus?"

Remus sighed, running his hands through his hair before standing up. He straightened his crumpled cardigan a little before yanking open the door.

Molly Weasley stood there, looking on with worry in her eyes.

"We've had dinner and we're about to start the meeting," She frowned, nose wrinkling in disapproval as she regarded Remus.

He ran his hand through his hair again before nodding, "Just let me wash up and I'll be down in the moment," Remus forced a smile at the kind matriarch before closing the door. He snatched up his wand from the table and glanced around the room before heading for the bathroom.

Remus cringed at his reflection. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were sallow and dark eye rings circled them, evidently from the lack of sleep. He looked like an old and homeless man. Remus chuckled bitterly at that thought. He probably would've been by this time if not for Sirius' generosity.

_Sirius__… __and __Nymphadora_. Neither of them has been accounted for. Remus felt a dull ache in his chest that he'd grown accustomed to. He didn't know where they were, he didn't even know if the two most important people in his life are even alive.

He let out a frustrated sigh and combed his fingers through his hair roughly. It only worked to make his hair look more disheveled than it was. Remus hated feeling helpless. It reminded him of the mornings after a full moon when he'd have to lie there; naked and hurt, till someone comes along to help him or till he finds the strength to crawl into bed.

He lifted his wand and started cleaning himself up numbly. Without another glance at the mirror, Remus slipped out of the bathroom and walked down the stairs. As he descended the last flight, he half expected to see Nymphadora stumbling by the umbrella stand.

"_Hello," Remus mumbled, fully expecting her to have missed it since she seemed so caught up in recovering from her trip and cursing the umbrella stand. _

_However, Nymphadora Tonks surprised him once more as she turned on him and beamed, "hello Remus," _

_They both stared and looked away, a blush creeping up on their cheeks. _

"_Meeting?" Remus started, looking up from examining his shoes. _

"_Yeah," Tonks nodded, ducking down and heading for the kitchen eagerly. _

He blinked as he heard a loud thump. Remus' hand flew to his wand as his eyes surveyed his surroundings. He's standing at the bottom of the stairs. There was no one but him in the quiet corridor of Grimmauld place. The kitchen door is closed and by now, he could hear incoherent but loud shouts from Mad-Eye.

Remus sighed, pushing the door open.

Everyone looked up.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Remus murmured and walked over to an empty seat in the corner by the fireplace and sat down hurriedly.

"No worries, thank you for joining us Remus," Dumbledore smiled from the end of the table. Remus swallowed and nodded. He appreciated the headmaster's kindness; seeing he lived here and had the least excuse of being late. Furthermore, his last encounter with the headmaster had been less than pleasant. It had ended with Remus stomping upstairs like a spoilt child.

Remus averted everyone's eyes till he was sure no one was looking at him, then did he look up.

Mad-Eye was practically livid with fury as Dumbledore started talking calmly again. The others around the table looked terrified, tensed or seemed to be having an inner battle with themselves; Charlie, for example.

Remus glanced over.

The second eldest son of the Weasley was gangly, had the trademark red hair, freckles, short cut hair and at the moment, a set expression. Altogether, a charming young man; whom Remus felt he could never compete with.

Charlie was better looking than him, he had strong and sturdy set of muscles under his shirt that girls would most probably die for and most importantly, Charlie had a bright future.

For an intellectual man who read more than both Sirius and James could their whole lives, Remus, for the life of him, could never comprehend why, of all the men in the world, Nymphadora Tonks fell in love with him; deeply.

For once, Remus felt his life was going well, smooth. Holding her in his arms as she slept, Remus glimpsed a future with a beautiful wife and kids running around in the yard while an elderly bespectacled man, much too old for his wife, read a thick book. It made him smile to himself in the dark on the warm bed.

"Remus?"

He blinked and looked up to see everyone looking at him.

"I'm sorry?" He stared blankly; inwardly cringing at the squinting Mad-Eye's normal eye was doing at him. Remus looked away from the retired Auror and turned to Dumbledore. The man was frowning just slightly before smiling at him.

"Severus has recently contacted me about Sirius and Nymphadora," Dumbledore started patiently, folding his wrinkled hands on the table before himself. Remus leaned forward anxiously; now he got his attention.

"How are they?" Remus blurted.

"They are safe for now," Dumbledore replied.

After a beat of silence, Remus asked, "Where are they?"

"Remus, this isn't something we can brave into. If we barge into the place to rescue Sirius and Nymphadora, this will risk everything we've-"

"Are they in danger?" Remus placed a clenched fist on the table, feeling his anxiety rise, threatening to overflow.

Mad-Eye snorted. Dumbledore regarded him behind his half-moon spectacles, "Yes,"

Remus stiffened, tearing his eyes away from Dumbledore before he could begin glaring, "Do you have a plan?"

"Severus has assured me that he will make sure Sirius and Nymphadora gets out of there alive,"

Remus wanted nothing more than to cry out in sheer frustration. For once in his life, Remus doubted Dumbledore. Has age ravaged his mind? Severus hates Sirius and probably Nymphadora. If anything, Severus might've murdered Sirius himself if he got the chance. Save him? Remus almost laughed at the very idea.

"I assure you," Dumbledore spoke, this time his tone indicating that this was not spoken only to and for Remus, but for everyone at the table, "Severus has swore his loyalty to me and for what reasons, it will not be convenient for me to speak of it; it is not mine to share,"

Most at the table nodded solemnly, their faith fully with Dumbledore, as usual; as Remus' should be.

He remained doubtful. Severus Snape is vile and has a scheming mind, like all Slytherins. Is it possible that Severus has had Dumbledore fooled? Or, as Dumbledore said, there is a reason behind his loyalty, something Remus had not stumble upon as he contemplated Snape's loyalty to the Order.

Remus glared at into the fireplace as they continued the meeting for death eaters sightings they have been following. It has been rampant lately so the Order has decided to try and gather some crucial information from them.

Normally, he would've been the most attentive at the table but he had more on his mind. Apart from Sirius and Nymphadora, he can't help but wonder what reason Snape could possibly have to turn away from Voldemort and help the order in such a dangerous mission.

Whatever Dumbledore and Snape have planned, Remus could only sit and wait, just as he was ordered to.

* * *

Tonks shifted, burying her face into her pillow as she usually did out of a form of habit. However, instead of the soft pillow, she felt a different sort of pillow. Her head lay on something warm, solid, yet having a tinge of softness to it as well. She opened her eyes.

She saw black. Then she remembered everything. Their arrival from the ministry, Sirius' capture, her torture.

_Sirius! _

She looked up to see her cousin already awake and looking at her with a grin.

"Good morning!" Sirius greeted extra cheerily and Tonks suspected it was an attempt to cheer her up. She took it as such.

Smiling, she replied, "How did you know its morning?"

"I don't," Sirius sighed, glancing around the dark dungeon.

Tonks smiled, resting her head on his chest. The last time she stuck down here, she'd exhausted herself with tears and slept restlessly but now, it was different. It almost felt no different from sleeping in her flat but a far cry from sleeping with Remus holding her, whispering comforting words to her.

She missed him.

She picked at a loose thread on Sirius' robe.

"D'you remember the time you accidentally set my robes on fire?" Sirius spoke all a sudden, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Tonks chuckled, the memory coming back to her as if it had happened yesterday.

"You were a cheeky little bugger then, playing around with your magic like that," He teased, squeezing her in an awkward hug that worked better when she was about as tall as his hips.

"Well…" Tonks dragged it out, sheepishly, "it wasn't an accident,"

"What?" Sirius' smile vanished, "you-"

"Set your robes ablaze on purpose," Tonks smirked up at him.

"Why you little-"

"You called me Nymphadora! _Twice!_" She protested, "And you pinched my cheek!"

Sirius snorted, "What? I can't pinch your cheek? I'm your cousin y'know," He half pouted and Tonks couldn't hold in her laugh. Soon, Sirius laughed boisterously with her, in the way he always did when he was truly tickled.

"Mad already?" A cold voice travelled down the dungeon and laughter was quelled instantly.

"What is it?" Tonks felt Sirius tense under her as he asked; his tone brusque.

Snape entered the dungeon, shutting the gate with a clank and waved his wand over the gates wordlessly before turning to them.

"The Dark Lord has made his decision," Snape announced in a low tone, "the plan will be carried out as usual-"

Tonks frowned. She searched her memory for the so-called plan but could not recall it or even remember hearing it said to her; she must've fell asleep due to the potion before they could relate the plan.

"What plan?" She interrupted. Snape turned to her, regarding her puny presence witheringly. In the past, Tonks will bite her lips and look away in embarrassment but now, Tonks was merely annoyed and impatient at his attempt to unnerve her. In the end, Snape ignored her and turn to Sirius, who nodded, "Don't ignore me!" She cried indignantly, "what plan?"

Without another word, Snape turned around and left.

"Sirius-"

"Hush," Sirius placed a gentle finger on her split lip from yesterday's torture but the touch was so light she barely felt it, much less the pain, "just follow my lead and listen for my cue. When I call for you, grab onto me and don't let go till I say so," he whispered.

"What are you talking about Sirius?" Tonks asked, puzzled.

"Trust me," Sirius hunched to meet her eyes, "I'm going to get you out of here forever, I promise."

Tonks swallowed a lump in her throat. In her gut, she knew this wouldn't be good…

"Ah, welcome, Sirius Black," Voldemort spreaded his arms at his sides; in a less than welcoming gesture. Sirius puckered his face in blatant disgust.

Bellatrix hissed from the sides but Voldemort waved at her lazily. She fell silent.

Tonks stumbled alongside Sirius, feeling vulnerable in the presence of someone who'd seen everything there is to see in her mind. She felt Sirius press his elbow into her arm, keeping as close to her as he can; as if to reassure her.

They were chained at the wrist that had an attached thin film over their hands which prevented the use of wandless magic, intentional or accidental. Behind them, a junior death eater, that Tonks didn't recognize, was escorting them into the hall, poking at them with his wand to get them moving.

Tonks was bemused with his poorly concealed fear of them and how nervous he was.

"Now that is no way to treat our guest," Voldemort cooed sickeningly as he inclined his chin and glimpsed their chains. He hissed and the poor junior crumpled to the ground. Tonks tuned out the agonizing howls; already accustomed to these spontaneous tortures.

With a wave of his hand, their chains dropped to the ground nosily and the thin film around their hands disappeared.

Sirius pursed his lips, flexing his wrists.

"Now," Voldemort spoke, stepping forward to them. The Cousins held their ground, staring at him with the same look in their eyes, "what do we do with you?"

Voldemort turned to Sirius first before a sick smirk twisted its way onto his serpentine features, "I see the resemblance," He glanced hungrily between Nymphadora and Sirius before his glance wandering to Bellatrix, whom was seething by now. Sirius remained unaffected, his glare unyielding.

"Let's test your resolve, shall we?" He smirked, gesturing Bellatrix forward.

Tonks' stomach flipped nauseatingly as Bellatrix whipped out her wand, treading forward like a predator would to its prey.

"No," She whimpered just before Bellatrix lashed out at him. Sirius' torture was unbearable to watch but Tonks had received warnings from Sirius previously in the cell; his instructions were clear, _do __not __risk __yourself __for __me, __no __matter __what __happens._

Initially, Tonks was absolutely repulsed at the idea of leaving him to the lurch but eventually, Sirius helped her see reason. Being a noble prat would not help them in this situation; only keeping a cool head will.

So Tonks clenched her fists and bit her lips, forcing herself to stay still. With her rage, Tonks could feel the magic bubbling inside her; eager to be set loose.

Voldemort's training helped her become self aware of her magic, giving her better control; thus helping her release its potential by the medium of dark magic. Using Dark Magic somehow provided a comfort for the large amount of magic she released at once.

However, there was a terrible drawback. There was always a high risk of losing that control while toying with such power and Voldemort had eagerly encouraged that.

On the other hand, Mad-Eye's lesson had taken a completely different turn in comparison. Mad-Eye trained her reflexes, equipped her with strong morals and a resolute mind. In terms of managing her magic, he helped her with her morphing; though admitting to not be an expert. After Tonks' insistent pleas, he relented and agreed to give her some pointers according to his experience. He gave her advice on using it in battle and how it will benefit her. Admittedly, Tonks had never looked at her morphing as something to be used as a weapon; she saw it as more of stealth.

In terms of spell casting, Mad-Eye had insisted on her exercising caution. Even for experienced wizards and witches, losing control of their magic could lead to not just destructive but unimaginable consequences for the user themselves.

Remembering her training with Mad-Eye, Tonks restrained her magic, struggling. She had spent far too much time under Voldemort's training and control seemed so bleak for her now.

"Bellatrix," Voldemort spoke, instantly putting a stop to the torture.

He took deliberate steps and stopped in front of Tonks.

"Why are you stopping yourself, Nymphadora?" Voldemort hissed; his voice quiet and dangerous.

Tonks refused to reply, silence now seem the better alternative for her now that she'd made him furious.

"Have you forgotten your training?" Voldemort's blood red eyes glinted, his cold fingers running across her cheek; a reminder.

Tonks flinches but eventually, she suck in a breath and jutted out her chin, "I already have a mentor-"

"Yes, yes," Voldemort looked away, thoughtful, "Alastor Moody," He turned and took two slow steps away, "It has been too long since we've met," Tonks stiffened, "what do you think Alastor would say to a visit?"

Tonks gritted her teeth but stayed silent. In her peripheral vision, Tonks glimpsed Sirius blinking to orientate himself before struggling to get to his feet.

"Maybe…" Voldemort's voice trailed off and he spun around with an eager glint in his eyes, "Come, Sirius Black," He beckoned him forward impatiently when Sirius hesitated.

Bellatrix hissed, waving her wand in a sweeping gesture. Sirius cried out in shock and pain as he stumbled forward. Tonks frowned. Sirius was not coherent. She felt a dull worry in her chest blossoming. His senses had been dulled by Bellatrix's magic; _how __was __Sirius __going __to __carry __out __whatever __plan __he __had __now?_ Tonks thought morosely.

"Now now Bellatrix, let's play nice to our new comrade," Voldemort smirked at Sirius, who now was on his knees before him, "Imperio,"

Tonks heard Sirius gasp momentarily before being absolutely still. Tonks had only seen the Imperius curse used once and that was during training when Moody used it on a spider as a demonstration. He seemed fixated on Voldemort now, who took a satisfied look at Sirius before glancing to the side at a masked death eater.

"His wand," Voldemort extended his hand, palm up to the death eater. Flustered, he fumbled to find the wand within his robes and before he could run forward to give the Dark Lord the wand, Voldemort impatiently summoned it, "Sirius,"

Sirius seemed to focus on the new object handed to him and grasped it firmly.

Tonks wanted to sink into the floor now. There was a plan, and now there wasn't. Sirius was now under the control of the Imperius curse. If Tonks wasn't certain before, she was now; there was no escape for her.

"Sirius…" She mumbled.

The Dark Lord glanced once at her and then down at Sirius who was still kneeling.

He leaned forward, placing a hand on Sirius' shoulder as he whispered, "I want you, to kill her,"

Sirius barely hesitated. He stood on unsteady legs and turned to face Tonks. Her cousin was truly gone. His grey eyes were now glazed over, making his eyes almost white. Her heart was hammering against her chest, warning her to run, make her escape before it's too late but her head told her that was impossible.

Never in a million years would Tonks ever dream of being killed by Sirius Black; her very own beloved cousin.

"Do it," Voldemort hissed with barely contained anticipation.

Sirius raised his wand, his lips moving to mumble the spell. Tonks was vaguely aware of how her body was trembling, fear gripping her heart, making it impossible to breathe or think. She closed her eyes, wondering how Sirius would go about killing her; Voldemort was not specific.

"Nymphie, NOW!" The words out of Sirius' mouth were not what she anticipated but Tonks trusted him. Acting solely on that trust, Tonks scrambled forward and gripped into Sirius' arm with both hands.

"No!" The strident roar of fury from the Dark Lord was instantaneous upon this turn of events. Tonks glimpsed the death eater jumping into action; Bellatrix being the closest. She watched in horror as Bellatrix pulled out a long knife with hand which did not wield her wand.

"Apparate!" Sirius said firmly with the wand in his hand. A loud crack sounded among the bedlam.

Remus was pacing again. His uneaten breakfast of coffee and hardened bread sat cold on the table. The smoldered fire from the fireplace was still emitting a thin trail of smoke that made Remus more frustrated than he already was.

He had been feeling antsy since sunrise and Remus blamed it on the fast approaching full moon.

The meeting had ended on a dull note for Remus. Everyone left Grimmauld except for Molly, Arthur and Mad-Eye who lingered.

Molly kindly prepared some stew for him that sat on the stove, untouched. The couple left soon after. Mad-Eye sat there, seemingly waiting as Remus has been.

Remus had never thought it difficult to talk to Moody, just perhaps uncomfortable. Glancing up at him, Remus felt an ache as he remembered how Nymphadora's eyes would light up as she teased Mad-Eye and waited for the smart rebuke he always threw her way.

Seemingly unable to bear the awkward and gloomy atmosphere either, Mad-Eye stood and left without a word.

After, Remus couldn't drag himself upstairs to his bed. Instead, he stayed vigilant through the night, listening with the heightened senses that came and went with the full moon.

Remus had sent his patronus to Severus' flat in hope that he could return and update him on Nymphadora and Sirius' situation but till now, there wasn't a reply. The night went and Remus spent it staring into the fire, wondering how Nymphadora must be feeling. Sometimes, Remus could've sworn he saw her lovely heart shaped face appearing in the fire but she never said anything. She'd smile and then vanish as if she's never been there.

Remus sighed, glaring at his breakfast before ignoring it altogether and stomping up to his bedroom.

He froze upon hearing someone fumbling with the door. Remus whipped out his wand before creeping back down the stairs. He paused at the bottom of the stairs, peering out into the quiet hallway.

There was no denying what he heard. The door handle was rattling.

"Moony!"

Remus froze a second time.

"Moony,"

It was Sirius. Remus didn't hesitate as he ran to the door and yanked it open in frenzy. There he was.

"Padfoot!" Remus almost laughed but Sirius only smiled weakly before it turned into a grimace and the man tumbled over and into Remus' arm, "Sirius," Remus mumbled, dragging Sirius into the kitchen.

He waved his wand and his breakfast was vanished. Remus quickly dragged the man onto the table.

"Sirius," Remus leaned over to see that Sirius was now delirious and his mind bleary, "Sirius, focus," He grabbed Sirius' face with both his hands, forcing Sirius to look at him, "where is Nymph-"

"You have to get her Moony," Sirius looked closed to tears, "she didn't make it out, Nymphie, she's still there!" Remus froze as horror gripped at him. The rest of Sirius' rant was lost on him, "It's my fault!" Sirius cried but Remus stumbled back, tripping over the chair and failing to the floor; his face still frozen in horror.

Remus slowly looked at Sirius who was now in tears. It was then did Remus register the blood splatter across Sirius' face which, he couldn't be more certain, didn't belong to Sirius.

_To be continued…_

**A/N: *dramatic music* Things just got worse…uh oh…How did Sirius overcome the Imperio? No, he's not stronger than Voldemort or something...It will be answered...NEXT TIME! :) Promise (probably also how Tonks managed to reject the dark mark). So many things to clarify, so little time :) Oh well... **

**Finally got this chapter done! Not much trouble this time around, writers' block decided to go annoy some other poor soul (: Hope you guys enjoyed reading it!**

Midnighthuntress808: Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! Oops, doubt this chapter made your mood any better :x

Lupinesence: Thank you for reviewing!

TheMauradersAreTOTALLYAWESOME: I'm glad you liked it! Thank you!

Nymphadora-Remus4ever: Glad the Sirius-Tonks moments weren't off, in a way. Thanks so much!

tt crews: Haha, I just had to destroy it after what it had done to Sirius in the books and the movie ): Thanks! Not long actually. As you've read in this chapter, Tonks' mind is pretty much set back into place quite quickly after the jolt from Sirius and a little bit of rest. Well, Snape had a plan so…;) Thank you for reviewing!

Just a Cute Idea: Thanks so much! Hope this didn't come too late! (:

Shadowmaster2323: Haha, I think you'll feel even so after reading this chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks so much!

HammersNStrings: That part would probably be explained later but no promises there! (: Haha, as you've read, Snape comes to the rescue ;) Thanks for your suggestion and for the awesome review!

* * *

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW FOR THIS CHAPTER~! **


	26. Chapter 26: Struggle

Chapter 26: Struggle

The two remaining marauders could only stare, unable to find it in them to communicate in their respective state of shock. One of them lay on the table, sobbing in hysterics. His handsome face was splattered with blood and his expression seemed frozen in trauma. The other remained huddled in the floor, staring into space. His hand trembled violently and his wand clattered to the floor, shattering the tensed atmosphere.

Remus swallowed and Sirius choked back a sob. The Azkaban escapee cried out incoherently. His face contorted in pain and despair, the exact expression Remus had always imagined Sirius to wear in the face of dementors.

"It's my fault!" Sirius spluttered, his fist banging the wooden table he was on.

Remus seemed unable to find his voice. He couldn't console Sirius. A monstrous part of him, that frightened him, hated Sirius for being alive; hated him for being alive when Nymphadora could very well not be at this moment. Another part was glad he had his best friend back; alive, if a little unhinged.

Without warning, the door to Grimmauld Place opened with a loud crash against the wall of the corridor. Remus' instinct that he'd built in his time in the Order pushed him to stand, snatch up his wand and confront the newcomer but he couldn't. He remained huddled up on the floor, like a frightened child.

_Kill __me, __whoever __you __are__…_ Remus thought dully.

"Sirius," Mad-Eye's raspy voice was heard. If Remus hadn't known better, he'd have thought he was a gasp, "where's-"

"It's my fault!" Sirius howled, still trapped in utter despair.

"Remus," Mad-Eye ignored Sirius altogether and turned to the saner man in the room.

Remus somehow, found the strength in him to shake his head slowly, "she's not here," he croaked, meeting his eye.

Mad-Eye seemed to freeze up as Remus did. His whirling magical eye stopped and fixed itself forward, "Albus-" He started but Remus burst out in fury.

"The plan failed!" Remus hated himself for sounding weak, "Dumbledore's plan failed and Nymphadora is still there," Fury ebbed away to be replaced by sorrow as he spoke the words.

Without another word, Mad-Eye began to mutter under his breath, sending his patronus on its way. Remus could see the lines of worry forming on Alastor Moody's face. He truly did care for Nymphadora, his protégée. Remus almost chuckled at the thought of Mad-Eye screaming how emotional attachment would kill them all one day; which brought about the motto, constant vigilance. And here he was, so emotionally attached to his own mentee.

Remus seemed to regain motor functions of his limbs. He reached for his wand and stowed it away in his pocket, ignoring Mad-Eye's disapproving look. He walked numbly up to Sirius. The poor man now had his head huddled under his arm, still sobbing.

"Sirius-" Remus gripped his arm firmly, trying to yank it away.

"Nymphadora…" Sirius managed through his sobs and Remus winced as if he'd been slapped.

Mad-Eye glanced their way before limping over nosily, shoving Remus away and pulling Sirius' arm from his face roughly. Remus was just about to protest but Mad-Eye seemed to be examining him so he kept his mouth shut.

Moody studied Sirius carefully. He raised a hand and forcefully opened Sirius' eyes, peering into them. He waved his wand twice in front of Sirius, testing his vision, and Remus noticed he had problems focusing.

"He's been poisoned,"

* * *

"Weak," Snape muttered and got his hard earned slap to the arm. The strength surprised him and he stumbled back.

Nymphadora Tonks lay on her stomach, his body frail and weak but her eyes burned with fury. Her torso was slightly turned so she could get a good range on him. Pain laced its way up her body and burned on her back. She winced, refusing to cry out. Instead, she gave up and fell back on the mattress, face down so her whimpers were muffled.

Cautiously, Snape approached her again, in his hand some crushed plants wrapped up in cloth that had magical healing effects.

"I have to remove it," Snape said monotonously, dabbing around her wound with the cloth.

The juice of the plants seeped out onto her wound. As it came in contact with the wound, it sent slight spirals of smoke twirling up into the air. It seemed to hiss as it burnt the gaping wound into sealing itself. Tonks whimpered into the pillow.

"Just get it out," Tonks groaned as Snape touched the hilt of the knife that had its sharp end embedded into the flesh on her back of her shoulder. At the end of the hilt, the black crest was carved into it, merged with the Lestranges crest that was faintly visible in the background.

"It's deep," Snape commented, abandoning the small sack of plants for a vial of potion, "drink," He ordered.

Tonks rolled her eyes, cringing as she drank. The effect of pain relief was instantaneous. She collapsed back onto the soft mattress, sighing inwardly. However, the sound of fabric ripping got her attention. When she felt something cold touch her back, she yelped, twisting away but instantly regretted it as pain stabbed at her.

"What are you doing?" She twisted her neck around as best as she could to see Snape holding his wand.

"I have to remove your clothes," Snape replied and shot her a withering look.

Tonks hid her horror and instead, decided not to say anything. She buried her burning face into the pillows, grumbling as the fabric was completely cut clean and it fell limply at her sides. _At__least__I__'__m__on__my__stomach__…_ Tonks thought.

Tonks hardly recalled what happen with how everything was occurring at the same time. Bellatrix had pulled out his knife just as Sirius acted.

Sirius had safely apparated to everyone's horror but Tonks had not. Her Aunt had embedded the knife into her shoulder and her arm buckled under the pressure and pain of the stab, losing grip on Sirius' arm just a split second before he disappeared with a loud crack.

She cried out in pain and crumpled to the floor, clutching her bleeding shoulder as best as she could to stem the blood flow.

Tonks glanced around, gritting her teeth against the pain. Everyone was in shock; staring blankly at the space Sirius had apparated. If Tonks didn't know better, she'd have thought they were muggles who had just seen a wizard apparate. But she did know better. She knew that it was nearly impossible to apparate from the riddle's mansion. Death Eaters who are adept at casting anti-disapparition wards were specially assigned to make sure the wards were up at all times.

They never fail.

Till now.

Voldemort roared in fury with no words at all. Bellatrix was smirking down at her, seemingly proud with herself but the Dark Lord was furious; too furious to notice or praise her for her 'accomplishment'.

Voldemort only had to shout the names of the death eaters assigned to the wards and they appeared.

Tonks noted their unkempt attire and terrified expression and then the furious expression that seemed to be carved into the Dark Lord's face; she instantly felt a stab of pity for them. This would be an execution, no doubt. The Dark Lord was not known for any sort of anger management, even if it is to torture. If he wants them dead now, they will be; and so, they were.

She cringed as their bodies collapsed to the ground before her with a flash of green.

Tonks was admittedly surprised when she heard that the wards on the Riddle Mansion were placed not by Voldemort, but by death eaters. She'd thought the Dark Lord to prefer to take care of such issues himself, but apparently, this minor detail was not worth his attention; no one would be insane enough to assassinate Voldemort at this point when he is the strongest with everyone at his beck and call.

It took a while, as usual, for Voldemort's anger to subside; only barely for him to speak coherently now.

"Severus," He hissed and instantly, Snape was seen, practically gliding into the hall. His expression was rigid; revealing no emotion.

For a moment there, Tonks felt a tremor of fear for him. After all, she was certain he'd helped Sirius somehow.

"My Lord," Snape bowed at the waist.

"Heal her, now," Voldemort gestured to Tonks' impatiently.

"My Lord?" Snape's brows furrowed in confusion. Tonks would admit, she was impressed with his acting; either that, or he took great displeasure into treating her back to health.

"Nurse her back to health," Voldemort hissed, "now that things have changed… Nymphadora will have to do for now,"

Tonks shuddered and cringed as her shoulder was jostled a little.

"Yes, my lord," Snape nodded stiffly. Wordlessly, he grabbed Tonks' upper arm in a vice-like grip and yanked her painfully to her feet. She cried out in pain and instantly shut herself up, refusing to show any weakness. He all but dragged her out of the hall and to the steps. Once they were out of sight and that the door had slammed shut behind them, Snape hoisted her unhurt arm over his shoulder and supported most of her weight till they were out of the mansion.

Without hesitation, he apparated both of them away from the mansion and to Spinner's End.

Upon arrival, she threw up magnificently over Snape's robes and shoes but he ignored it and hoisted her into the house, letting her lay on her stomach in the room she occupied.

"Relax," Snape ordered stiffly as Tonks cried out into the pillow. Her shoulder burnt, despite the effect of the pain relief. She had wanted him to completely put her under but he needed her awake; he needed to know if she fainted, or died for that matter. She glanced back to see, to her dismay, that Snape only had his hand around the hilt, and the knife remained deeply embedded in her flesh, fresh blood oozing out as her wound was cut against with every slight movement.

"Easy for you to say," She gasped out.

"Relax," He ordered in that professor baritone voice. Tonks rolled her eyes before burying her face into her pillow completely; cutting off her oxygen supply. She thought of Remus; how he must be worried sick about her when he saw that only Sirius had returned but not her. She imagined he must feel horrible but as much as Tonks feel for Remus, she will not contact him, lest he is already completely out of his mind and charges recklessly to Spinner's End to rescue her.

Without warning, Snape yanked the knife out. The sickening squelching of flesh was heard momentarily. White hot pain seared into her skin.

She screamed.

* * *

Remus slouched in the chair by Sirius' immobile form. They had fed him a calming draught before feeding him the sleeping potion. Even in his sleep, the poor man was mumbling about how sorry he was and how it was his entire fault that his beloved baby cousin didn't make it out.

Each time he mumbled her name, Remus felt a stab of pain at his heart, front center.

Mad-Eye was right, Sirius was poisoned.

This poison was not lethal but it dulled his senses, particularly his sight. It made him slow and virtually impossible to focus on anything at all. His emotions, once triggered, will be out of control but his memory will be clearer than ever.

Both Mad-Eye and Remus was utterly puzzled as to how Sirius came to be in possession of his wand. They had settled on the fact that Snape might have snuck him the wand but both were unconvinced. In the end, they settled on waiting for Sirius to wake, with a clearer head.

As Remus watch Mad-Eye force the potion down Sirius' throat while he held Sirius down, he was tempted to take it; dozen of sleeping potion so that he could just sleep and never wake up.

There was no nightmare like such with Nymphadora's fate unknown; with the possibility of her being dead more likely than others. Both Mad-Eye and Remus acknowledged that fact as they locked eyes but both refused to voice it, only to speculate the cruel fact.

Remus had intended to wallow in misery in the kitchen and wait for Nymphadora to appear but he found himself with Sirius instead. The saner part of him reasoning that he would want to be the first to know any news about Nymphadora from Sirius.

He gazed thoughtfully at Sirius, wondering what horrors he had seen and what exactly had happened while he, Remus Lupin, sat helpless.

_Remus…_

His head jerked up to the sound of his name. He would recognize it anywhere, the voice and the tone. The way the voice caressed his name, the soft whisper that was so tender it could only be love at work.

There she is.

She was standing by the open door, a bemused expression on her face.

"Nymphadora?" Remus could barely believe his eyes. She looked healthy, her dark eyes, so dark they were almost black, twinkled. Her pale cheeks were now rosy. She was wearing her Auror robes.

"Remus," She spoke his name and he relished in the sound of it

"You-" He stood and paused, unable to find his voice momentarily, "are you okay? We were so worried for you. How did you get out?" He babbled nonsensically.

She laughed and it sounded like music to his ears, "Remus, I'm fine. More than fine actually," She looked down, smiles gone. She bit her lips, "Remus…I'm dead…"

Remus froze.

"W-what?" He mumbled numbly, "N-no…"

Tonks forced a smile, a weak smile, "I am but I'm alright now. Believe it or not, it's perfect here. It's better…" Her voice trailed off.

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat, chanting inside his head for him to keep his calm; panicking now will do no one any good, although his heart seemed to have already stopped.

"Dora…" He took a step closer to her. She looked so real, warm and close enough to touch, "what did they do to you?" He hesitated to ask, afraid to hear the answer.

She averted his gaze, "Worst than death,"

"Dora," He reached out, "I- I'm sorry," Remus breathed, feeling utterly useless. He had sat as the woman he loved suffered. And that pain was only second to knowing that his love was no longer breathing and that her heart was now still.

She smiled at him, a warm and genuine smile, "I love you, Remus,"

"I love you too," He choked out and his eyes widened as she took a step back, departure in her every gesture, "Don't go," Horror etched in his eyes.

"I can't stay," She whispered, tears running down her cheeks. In a moment of impulse, Remus covered the distance between them in two long strides, breaking into a run as he made to throw his arms around her. He needed to feel her warmth against him, embrace her petite frame in his arms to know she was safe and happy.

He fell through her like she was nothing. His hands grasped nothing but air.

The ground rushed up to meet him and his head reeled from the impact of his jaw smashing against the hard wooden floor but pain meant little to him. He jumped up and spun around to see that she was no longer there.

His heart throbbed with her absence, "Dora? Dora!" His eyes searched wildly for her but the room was empty save Sirius who was still on the bed.

"Remus!"

He staggered, almost falling out of his chair. Remus blinked his eyes open, glancing to Sirius' sleeping form on the bed to Mad-Eye who stood beside him, a hand on his shoulder. Moody was a hard faced man but Remus could see a tinge of worry in his eyes.

In Tonks' absence, they seemed to have found an odd comfort in each other, knowing that the other felt the same way. Mad-Eye loved Tonks like a daughter and the pain of losing Tonks was akin to physical pain for the both of them.

In the past, Tonks had told him that Mad-Eye wasn't hard to understand once he got to know the man and Remus kept silent about his doubts. Now, he could truly comprehend what she meant.

"Bad dream?" Mad-Eye growled.

Remus nodded stiffly, "Dora…" was all he could say before he leaned forward, burying his face into his hands.

* * *

"The Dark Lord wants to meet you,"

Tonks stirred, blinking away sleep from her eyes, "Tell him to sod off," She muttered, not even moving for fear of jostling her shoulder. There was no reply. She sighed, opening her eyes to see Snape standing by her bed. His arms were folded across his chest, his lips pursed, "you have horrible bedside manners," She groaned.

"As I've been told," Snape retorted dryly and Tonks grumbled as she got up gingerly.

"How many days have I been out?" She asked as she tested her weight on her feet cautiously.

"2," was the reply.

Tonks rolled her eyes. Trust Snape to give her an extra dose to keep her out for 48 hours, "I'm hungry," She complained and Snape left the room. She smiled inwardly in triumph. Snape's hovering can be annoying sometimes; as is his other habits.

She dressed, wincing every now and then as her heavily bandaged shoulder. Tonks made to reach for the bedside table for her wand but then remembered she doesn't have it. The incidents of the past few days came rushing back to her and she recalled that Voldemort now knew of the order's plot. As puzzled Tonks was as to why the Dark Lord had not instantly kill her on the spot, she was more troubled with why Snape had not attempted to plan her escape yet.

Her answer was apparently waiting downstairs for her.

The burly death eater, Yaxley was sitting downstairs on the couch. He was asleep, snoring loudly with his mouth open.

Tonks snorted in disgust as she made it to the bottom of the stairs.

A hot meal was on the table, consisting of stew and some bread; simple, but they will fill her stomach for now. Tonks slumped heavily into the chair. Her shoulder still hurt but her arm was not completely unusable. Once again, Tonks couldn't help but feel impressed by Snape but she did not voice it.

She began eating. Yaxley's snores can to an abrupt stop as the death eater stirred from his nap. Snape was standing by the table, with his arms crossed as usual but he was staring at Yaxley with disdain. Obviously, he was not welcomed in the Snapes' home.

"Are you done?" Yaxley boomed, getting up from the couch.

"No," was Tonks' blunt reply.

"No matter," Without warning, he hoisted her from the chair by her injured shoulder. Tonks yelped as terrible pain shot up her arm.

"Yaxley, if you would want to take responsibility for maiming Nymphadora after she has finally been healed just enough to walk, be my guest," Snape droned, "I am certain the Dark Lord will most definitely-"

Yaxley grunted and let go of Tonks instantly. She dropped back down into the chair, gingerly cradling her arm.

"You're bleeding," Snape pointed out.

"I wonder why," Tonks muttered through gritted teeth. Then she felt Snape's hand on her uninjured shoulder. She followed his lead, standing on unsteady legs.

"Snape, don't push it," Yaxley growled, "We have to leave, now,"

Snape paused, barely glancing back at Yaxley, "then I will be glad to explain to him of the incident which delayed our arrival,"

The burly death eater glared but Snape took no notice.

Tonks soon found her bandage changed by means of magic before she apparated sidelong Snape.

The Riddle Mansion was as dreary as she last remembered it. As usual, the two death eaters as situated at the gates. Yaxley nodded to them as he passed and they nodded back but Tonks noticed they kept their eyes on her.

As she climbed the steps, Tonks felt resignation. She was tired of resisting. There was no way out, she could see that now. No one could rescue her. The Order would be risking too much to do so and Tonks herself wouldn't like them to take the risk for her; even if it means her death. As Mad-Eye always said, this war is bigger than just one man. She was not worth losing everything.

"Welcome home Nymphadora," Voldemort greeted. She noted, with bemusement, his cheery mood and instantly knew that he already had something planned and was confident that it would work splendidly. Her stomach plunged sickeningly, threatening to throw up her meal.

She didn't reply but Snape and Yaxley, at her sides, bowed respectfully. He waved them to the side and they retreated from her. She glanced around to see, thankfully, that only three of them and the Dark Lord were present. Tonks was certain that even if she was to be tortured, she didn't need an audience.

"Come," He beckoned eagerly to her. Nagini hissed at her and Tonks eyed it with disdain as she walked robotically to Voldemort.

He placed his hands on both of her shoulders.

"Do you know how special you are?" Voldemort whispered. For once, Tonks had no idea what this was leading to but her heart told her, this wouldn't be good, "I am sure, you know, that it would be a great pity to just let you die for nothing. Such a talented witch, bestowed with a unique ability and powerful bloodline,"

"I am not," Tonks heard herself say, "You're mistaken. I'm just a witch."

"But you are powerful," Voldemort seemed unfazed by her defiance, "you have seen the power you hold,"

"I will not practice Dark Arts again," She stated calmly.

"Is that so?" His crimson eyes twinkled with amusement. Without waiting for her reply, he spun around, walking towards Nagini, "You will serve me, Nymphadora Tonks. I will be your master and you will be most faithful to me and me only," He hissed to Nagini and slowly, the snake began slithering towards her. Tonks' instinct told her to run but she stayed put, "Sirius Black resisted the Imperius Curse. Curious, don't you think?"

Tonks tore her gaze from the snake to see Voldemort looking at Severus and Yaxley.

"Yaxley?" He asked, his voice coy; dangerous.

"My Lord?" Yaxley's deep voice boomed.

"Why is Sirius Black able to resist the Imperius Curse?" Voldemort asked again, impatient this time, "Is it in the blood? Severus," He turned to Snape. Tonks felt Nagini coil its body around her.

"It is not possible for Sirius Black to have resisted the curse, my Lord," Snape replied simply; calm.

"Not possible," The Dark Lord muttered the words, as if testing them before turning on Tonks abruptly, "Let's test that theory,"

He lifted his wand, a slight smirk on his face.

Tonks' breathing quickened as she summoned her magic that began to bubble in her, ready for the release. Wandless magic was not common among wizards and witches and they have been proven to be exceptionally difficult to see through but with Dark Magic, it made it easier for Tonks. This would be her final stand.

"Do not resist, Nymphadora," Voldemort warned and Tonks hesitated.

"You can't take away my will," She hissed, using her anger to fuel her magic. Tonks was well aware how dangerous this will be; uncontrollable but she was willing to take the risk in exchange for her freedom.

To her surprise, Voldemort lowered his wand, amused as he waited; as if placating a child. Instead, he hissed at Nagini and the snake retreated from Tonks.

She knew her efforts will be futile, "Please…" Tonks' breath hitched.

He laughed, "Come to your master," He raised his wand, "Imperio,"

Nymphadora Tonks was gone.

* * *

Remus was absolutely convinced Severus Snape exist to make his life a living hell. The man showed up for the meeting last night but hardly commented about Nymphadora. When questioned about it by Remus himself, Snape merely stated that it will be safer for everyone if the Order remained ignorant about her.

Kingsley, with the help of Remus, had dutifully covered up for Tonks by sending it weekly reports about werewolf findings with her identity. At the moment, the Head of Aurors was none the wiser.

No one has seen Sirius but Remus for two days since he woke. Sirius had shut himself in the attic, barely eating or drinking and only doing so when Remus chugged them down his throat.

On more than on occasion, Remus had asked Sirius about the location where he was held prisoner but Sirius had no recollection or even memories that told him where he was. Although, the rational part of Remus told him even with the location of Nymphadora, he couldn't possibly swoop in to rescue her; it would be suicide mission that would result in nothing but his death.

On the night of the full moon, the despair Remus' felt seemed to be passed on to the wolf. He hardly felt any resistance in the poor animal in the night. Remus felt its resignation and depression as he himself felt these days. They spent the night in his room that was warded off, thinking of a certain lively young witch which made their heart swell.

Sirius had explained to Remus his escape after taking 4 bottles of fire whiskey. It was only under the influence of alcohol was Sirius able to talk about that incident without breaking down. Snape had poisoned Sirius but it wasn't lethal. This poison ensured that Sirius' mind would be disconnected from his body by making him almost delirious. This does not guarantee that the Imperius Curse will not work but it will definitely lessen the effect enough so that Sirius would be able to avert it. Since the curse won't be able to get a good grasp and thus control over Sirius' mind, it ensure the success of the plan.

It was quick and almost flawless but both of them were left wondering the painful question; what happened to Nymphadora?

Remus entered Grimmauld Place, considering to inform Sirius of his arrival but remembering him in this state, Sirius couldn't even careless if Voldemort himself marched in to kill him, Remus headed for the kitchen.

He had just returned from Order duty. Despite that the full moon just passed, Remus felt he needed to do something before he was driven mad. Dumbledore consented. He was assigned with Emmeline to watch out for any Death Eater's gathering in a muggle neighborhood. Two hours was wasted on nothing but rumors once again. He sighed, shedding his robe and resting in an old creaky wooden chair.

He missed Nymphadora dearly. He still fondly remembered the time both himself and Nymphadora was assigned to guard Harry over the last Summer Holiday. Remus remembered the way she had stared at him and then quickly looked away awkwardly when she found out that he was aware of her staring. He loved the way her pale cheek flush pink as she blushed. Remus had to fight the impulse to touch her burning cheek to feel the warmth for himself.

Remus was admittedly caught off guard. He had expected Sirius' cousin to be quite the looker, considering the Black does have a reputation in the looks department, as Sirius so often put it. What he saw however, was beyond what he could prepare himself for.

He would never forget the way she stumbled into the kitchen, flustered with the din she had caused. Her hair was a lovely shade of violet at that time, windswept but still beautiful. Her grey eyes, which she never morphed, shone with anticipation and excitement. Her fumbling hands seemed to not know where to sit and her two left feet was impossible. Despite her drawbacks, she was perfect.

He stared with amusement and admiration as she seemed to burst with energy. He chuckled as she flared up at Sirius. Never in his life had Remus ever found anger an attractive trait in a woman, till now. He loved how her eyes burn with fury, her lips pursed at the victim and her hair turning tomato red.

As Sirius retorted rudely at him, Remus found himself going an extra mile to see her smile; whether in his words or in his gestures. However, he knew he had never gained nor wanted much attention, especially from women, but this time, he yearned for hers and felt his disappointment growing as she took little notice of him.

To conceal his disappointment, he read the daily prophet. The news was somehow not as interesting as the little ball of colour sitting opposite from him. A stab of pain was felt in his chest as she shuddered away from him and Remus accepted it gracefully. It was completely understandable. The daily prophet was his sanctuary once again.

But Nymphadora Tonks wasn't what he thought she was. No words could describe how he felt as she overcame the thought of his infliction and made an effort to befriend him. By the end of the dinner, Remus found himself deeply in love with this woman; intrigued but in love.

_That is__it! _Remus growled at that thought. He glanced around the empty kitchen before picking up his robe, which was slung over the back of his chair, and leaving Grimmauld Place.

He half jogged to the apparition point. Whipping out his wand, he apparated with a crack.

* * *

**_Emmeline Vance POV_**

"Stupid," I murmured to myself as I walked briskly from the apparition point. I was exhausted and disappointed. When I heard about my assignment; guard duty with Remus Lupin, I was thrilled. Remus was responsible and the last time we were on duty together, he was good company. This time, however, he was depressed. There were no other words to describe him. His shirt was crumpled and his hair was too long and he needed a shave. He hardly spoke to me.

I grumbled as I walked up the steps to my house, cursing about how I had made a fool of myself by my many attempts to initiate a conversation which that man hardly appreciate or even notice.

"Ms Vance, good evening!" My neighbour, Mrs. Cook greeted. She was older than me by a few years with 2 kids who both went to Hogwarts. Though, we were only mere acquaintances.

"Good evening," I forced a smile before pulling the robes tighter around myself and opening the door to my house. Instantly, a tingle shot up my arm from my wand as soon as it touched the handle. It didn't hurt but it warned me. Someone had been in the house when I was out, or was still.

I froze at the doorstep. We have been warned by Dumbledore that Voldemort might target Order Members and that explained why I placed wards around my house. Hesitating whether to get help, I lingered at the doorstep, leaving the door wide open in case I needed a quick escape. I lifted my wand, muttering a silent _Lumos_.

I stifled a scream as I saw a silhouette of someone lounging on my couch. The person stood and with a mild wave of his or her hand, the door slammed shut behind me and I felt a chill as charms were placed on the door.

The lights flickered on, blinding me momentarily.

I sighed in relief, "Tonks, you scared me!" I lowered my wand slightly as I glanced that she does not have her wand; that gives me a slight advantage if a fight should break out. I stepped forward, cautious. I had never truly trusted her since she joined you-know-who. Double agent or not, no one will know when she truly decides to join the other side, "Why are you here?" I asked.

Without her wand, I felt a rush of magic surge from her and I was slammed back against the wall. I groaned as my wand slipped from my grasp. She didn't have her wand and yet the magic released was overwhelming.

"What are you doing?" I shrieked as she stepped forward. I got a proper look at her. Her hair was straight black, a rare colour she wore, her stance rigid. Something about her was wrong and off but I couldn't put a finger on it. I struggled against invisible bounds that held me immobilized against the wall, off my feet.

Her lips parted and a small furrow appeared between her brows. I glimpsed her hands trembling at her side, "Emmeline," She whispered; her voice shaky. She looked at me. Then I realised. Her eyes were glazed over, one of the more obvious signs of the Imperius curse.

"Tonks, listen to me. You can't let him control you!" I said desperately, struggling more violently against the invisible bindings. There was nothing stopping her now. With a single thought from the person controlling her and I could be dead. In her eyes, I glimpsed no wavering of what she was sent here to do and I felt dread fill my stomach. If only I could distract her, I could send a patronus for help or maybe stun her; just to give me enough time-

"Don't try anything," Her voice was now firm, coming out as a hiss. My eyes widened in horror as I looked away hurriedly. I growled, _since when did she learn legilimency!_ "Look at me," Her hand grasped my face from by my chin and I grimaced as I was forced to look at her. I felt a strong probe and my weak defenses shattered.

I was never a skilled Occlumens; there was neither the need nor time to train every single member of the Order that, there was already less skilled Legilimens as it is.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I felt a strong pressure on my skull, threatening to shatter my sanity as Tonks roughed her way into my mind, hungrily scoping out everything she can find.

I got a glimpse of what she took, groaning with everything she tore from me.

I felt a falter as Remus' face glimpsed pass and before I knew it, everything stopped. I fell to the ground, landing badly and twisting my ankle. With years of practice, I swiftly picked up my wand and pointed it at her.

Tonks' face was contorted with pain, "No," I heard her whisper.

I watched warily, my guard up this time if she should attempt to attack me. Then, in a momentary decision, I decided that it would be best if I stunned her and brought her to Dumbledore; he'll know what to do. If there was anything the Order Members had in common, even to our enemies, we would never want to hurt them unnecessarily; apprehending them would of course be the best case scenario seeing that Tonks wasn't after my life yet.

I casted a silent stunner, hoping to catch her off guard but she wasn't an Auror for nothing. I watched her draw her wand at an impossible speed in horror. She then parried away my stunner. It was obvious I had underestimated Tonks.

She froze awkwardly after parrying away the spell then she uttered a single word, "Kill," It sounded oddly like an echo of what she'd heard, a question but I didn't stop to consider that. I let loose a flurry of spells, rushing for escape; for my life.

I made a mad dash for the kitchen where there was a backdoor available for me to make an escape; just enough for me to run out of my wards to disapparate. I glanced back to see her easily blocking or ducking my spells and ran faster, knowing I would never defeat her.

A momentary pause in my barrage of spells was all Tonks needed to cast a leg locker. I crashed to the floor, grimacing. Tonks' face contorted in pain again but her wand, aimed to me, was never lowered.

"Confri-" I started but my wand was instantly out of my hand and in hers. Her face was now oddly blank, devoid of any emotion whatsoever, "Tonks…" I muttered, feeling the fear creeping back into my chest, haunting me.

She steadied her hold on her wand and without hesitation, "Avada Kedavra,"

To be continued…

**A/N: Firstly, forgive me for jumping out of my usual to make an Emmeline POV! I thought it was an interesting idea and simply tried it out, I hope it worked okay. Please tell me in the review! Also...Hopefully, none of you readers out there are big fans of Emmeline... :x **

**Some references to previous chapter here would be to Chapter 5 where Remus met Nymphadora at Grimmauld Place. Another slight reference would be Chapter 6 (where they were on duty together)**

**So, the question about how Sirius was able to overcome the Imperius Curse is in this chapter. I hope it isn't much too ridiculous, this is a magical world after all –mixed with a little common sense (:  
****I am aware I left you all hanging again, mostly with what Remus is up to this time (: Anyway, till next time! **

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! They really give me motivation and ideas to continue this fanfic! **

**On a side-note: Replying to every single review is getting quite hectic, especially if I hardly have time to finish every chapter. So, I would only reply to those who have questions for me to answer but I will read every single review three times, at least! I hope you guys don't mind this new arrangement or feel neglected. Feel free to leave me a review telling me 'no' to this new arrangement if you're not alright with it! (: **

**Thank you to Clumsy Cayenne, HP, Ms ****N Nelson**, Nymphadora-Remus4ever, Paardenlaura, , newRLNTfan, Shadowmaster2323, Sarah15, tt crews, Lupinesence and V for your amazing reviews; praises or criticism, they are all greatly appreciated! 

**Ms N Nelson: Thank you! I laughed so hard at that! You made my day! **

**Tt crews: Sorry for the confusing part there! It's the same night. Sorry! I think you got the Imperio thing right on the second insight. (: About Dora's mark…whatever I say, it will be a spoiler so if you want to know the answer, private message me! Thank you so much! **

* * *

**PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW FOR THIS CHAPTER (: **


	27. Chapter 27: Kill

Edited: Found out from Pottermore, the name of Remus' father! XD

Chapter 27: Kill

Remus paused momentarily as he stepped out of the dodgy alley. Everything was painfully familiar to him despite having not come here for years. The last time he had stepped foot in here was when he was invited by Lily during the holidays. Remus took a deep breath, steeling his emotions and took another step forward.

Suddenly, the door of the house of his interest flung open and Remus instinctively dove for cover into the alley, pressing himself up against the wall. He glimpsed two figures leaving the house, both wearing black cloaks with the hood drawn over their heads. Remus stared after them, noticing their smaller frame that could only be of a women's.

He wondered if one of them would be Nymphadora and considered calling them but that could only be wishful thinking and definitely a foolish move. Calling out to them would attract attention and if neither of them were Nymphadora, he would be digging his own grave.

Remus watched with a bated breath as he saw them turn into the alley he had emerged from and he heard a soft pop. He counted silently in his head to five before slipping out of the alley. He pulled the hood closer to his face, looking down as he crossed the street to the house.

He raised his hand tentatively and rapped on the door, barely containing his anger. His other hand reached for his wand but kept it out of view.

"Who is it?" Remus froze. The voice wasn't something he intended to hear. If anything, the voice made him ready to kill.

"Remus Lupin," He replied acidly; indulging in sick pleasure as the person on the other side of the door gasp, "Peter, open up," Remus found himself adding, just for the sake of unnerving the man.

The door cracked open a little and Remus didn't wait. Despite the full moon departure, Remus still felt the uncontrollable rage that surfaced, especially as he laid eyes on the mouse of a man. He shoved the door forcibly with his left arm, effectively clipping Peter in the head as the door surged back onto him.

Peter fell to the floor with a surprised squeak. The door rebounded, gently hitting Remus' shoulder but he took no mind to it; there were more important matters at hand. Remus whipped out his wand faster than Peter could reach for his.

"R-Remus," Peter gasped. The man was different than the last time Remus saw him in the shrieking shack. He was balder now, he was skinnier and of course, the addition of the special hand bestowed upon him by his Dark Lord, as a reward for his loyalty. To every Death Eater, it was an honour but to Remus, it was a reminder that this man, the very one that lay at his mercy now, was a crucial reason why Voldemort was back.

"How are you, Peter?" Remus snarled, his wand unwavering in his hand, "How does betraying your best friends feel like?"

He didn't know what came over him. At the shrieking shack, Remus had effectively been able to keep his calm, even able to hold Sirius back from maiming the rat. But now, he wanted nothing more than to kill-

"Lupin," Snape's cold voice floated down from the stairs, the man himself stood leaning on the railing of the stairs, "what could I possibly have done to deserve such…honour?" His voice dripped with sarcasm.

At the sight of Snape, Remus instantly turned away from Peter, remembering his purpose, "Where is Nymphadora?" He asked, glimpsing Peter cowering away in the retreat of the couch but paid him no mind; he had more important things to worry about.

"That is none of the Order's concern, Lupin. As I recall, I said it would be dangerous for the Order to know of Nymphadora-"

"Not dangerous for the Order; dangerous for you," Remus shot back. He flinched at his own tone, venomous; it was not like him, "Where is she?"

Snape narrowed his eyes, "Your reckless attitude is risking the mission, Lupin."

Remus faltered. He knew, he knew how his irresponsibility would cost everything but he also remembered how Sirius had lamented to him about Nymphadora's pleas to her cousin to help her. It broke Remus' heart to hear it, even from Sirius. Whatever the case, Remus knew he had to do something.

For a moment, Remus didn't know how to reply to that. So he expressed his most sincerely thoughts, "Nymphadora is more important than any mission,"

Snape scoffed, "that's touching Lupin. But this does not merely concern you and Nymphadora, this concerns-"

Remus exploded, "I don't care what this concerns!" He raised his wand, "Tell me where she is, now,"

He was unfazed and instead, Snape raised a brow, "are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm hoping I don't have to Severus but you're not giving me any options," Remus gritted his teeth.

"Get out of my house, werewolf," Snape sneered but Remus hardly flinched at his crude words. If there was anything Nymphadora taught him, it was only letting the opinions of those who mattered affect him.

Remus growled as Severus whipped out his wand, descending the stairs. Both of them ignored the slight whimper coming from behind the couch.

Without warning, a flash of red shot out from Snape's wand. Remus ducked down and the spell brushed him neatly to explode into the wall.

"Get out of my house," Snape snapped, his wand held at the ready, as is Remus'.

"Tell me where Nymphadora is," Remus shot back, "She was hurt, wasn't she? Severus, I need to know-"

Snape shot out another spell, this time giving Remus no escape. He parried it away quickly, instinctively shooting back a jinx at Snape. The man averted the jinx easily and it didn't surprise Remus, he was a skilled duelist.

Curses were exchanged swiftly, each of them giving the other no time to recover with constant bombardment of curses. Remus was scalded in cheek and Snape got nicked in the shoulder that promised bruising. Furniture were shattered and utterly destroyed by stray spells.

Snape grimaced as another of Remus' curse cut his cheek, bringing up his hand to stem the blood flow. Just as both wizards raised their wand again, a flash of white interrupted them; planting itself in between them. It formed a shape and Remus instantly recognised Kingsley's patronus; the lynx.

"Remus, come quickly to Grimmauld Place. There's an emergency meeting. Emmeline's been murdered,"

* * *

Remus jogged up the steps to Grimmauld Place, opening the door quickly and bursting in. It has been a while since Remus saw the place so packed with people. From the kitchen, Remus could hear small conversations among the Order members but Emmeline's death hung over every one of them. Extra chairs have been conjured to contain the extra members.

Remus entered the kitchen. Kingsley looked up from gazing at the table, deep in thought, and nodded at Remus solemnly. Remus nodded back, trying to swallow a lump in his throat. Molly was sobbing into Arthur's shoulder. Bill and Charlie were sat side by side; the latter had both fists clenched on the table.

Remus nodded to the newer order members whom he didn't recognise as he walked to the only empty seat, beside Charlie Weasley. He sat and didn't miss how Charlie tensed, smiling tentatively at Remus. He replied likewise; a half awkward smile.

"Kingsley?" Remus spoke, uncomfortable with the tension between himself and Charlie.

"Dedalus found Emmeline dead in her house a few hours ago," Kingsley glanced towards the man in question who was sniffing slightly, "We were aware that you and Emmeline were on duty together that evening…" Kingsley's voice trailed off.

"We went separate ways at the venue itself," Remus replied to his unsaid question, "she was fine the last time I saw her,"

Kingsley nodded, "which is why we suspect its murder,"

"The body?" Someone at the end of the table asked.

"The Aurors got there. Apart from a few smashed furniture, the place was spotless. No mindless search, theft is out of the question," Kingsley said, "whoever did it wanted her life," His voice faltered.

Dedalus choked on a breath. Molly sobbed harder and Remus watched on as Arthur rubbed her back soothing, mumbling comforting words. He felt bitter jealousy rise up to choke his throat. Nymphadora must be feeling miserable out there and he was helpless to comfort her. Remus hated himself.

"How was she murdered?" Remus heard himself ask.

"The killing curse," Kingsley answered, "It was quick,"

The room sank into an awkward silence, only occasionally broken by sobs. At this moment, Mad-Eye Moody limped nosily into the kitchen, conjuring a chair and sinking into it almost grudgingly. Remus tried to read what he felt but was unsuccessful.

Remus looked at his hands which were on his lap. He knew anyone could have killed Emmeline. The war was evidently stepped up after the raid on the ministry with Voldemort having more plans for the offense now. Only recently, Dumbledore had warned the Order to practice caution at all time, knowing it was only a matter of time before known order members become the target of Death Eaters.

Somehow, Remus could feel the tension in the room and knew the facts aren't as simple as he initially thought; if it were so, the whole Order wouldn't have been summoned.

* * *

Remus trudged up the lane of Emmeline's house. It looked peaceful and quiet. It was almost hard to believe a murder had been committed here. Remus didn't know what came over him but apart from a dull ache of loss, he could feel no more for the loss of a friend. Perhaps weeks of the agony of separation had numbed him; Remus hoped so.

He glimpsed the print pasted on the wall by the ministry that declared this place the site of murder and of their investigation but Remus ignored it. He had already disillusioned himself. Cautiously, Remus stepped into the house and lit his wand.

As Kingsley had said, the place was clean. There was no blood, no major damage to the house. Remus took in every detail, anything that could've told him what exactly happened. He glimpsed a dent on the plaster of the wall just a distance away from the couch, a toppled over vase near the back door.

"What happened here?" Remus muttered, glancing absent mindedly at the couch. To his surprise, he glimpsed a stain. He leaned forward, bringing his lit wand closer. He was right, on the arm rest of the couch, there was a spot of blood. Remus frowned, puzzled. He sat down on the couch, leaning back to get a vague idea of how the blood could've gotten there.

After a short moment, Remus concluded the person could have had a wound from the shoulders up to leave such a bloodstain but it wasn't extensive. What he saw also told him that the wound wasn't caused at Emmeline's house.

Remus grunted in frustration, running a hand through his hair. He was getting no where.

Dumbledore's theory seemed likely; that whoever attacked Emmeline merely wanted information so she may have suffered some torture before being murdered. He had urged them to exercise extreme caution again before ending the meeting.

Remus was the first to leave after Dumbledore, ignoring the puzzled stares he earned. He needed to see things for himself and he didn't want to stay at Grimmauld Place; he had too many memories there and Sirius' drunken rants weren't helping his mood. Remus had toyed with the idea of returning to Spinner's End to finish their fight but dismissed that idea. He also thought of using his time to apprehend Peter Pettigrew but the rational side of him told him it would be difficult, not to mention impossible with Snape there.

He sighed again, slumping down to the floor. A spontaneous thought of Death Eaters coming to murder him came to his mind. Remus chuckled bitterly at the thought of finally having a chance to take down a few of them before his death.

_What am I doing?_ He frowned, a painful memory seeping into his head.

"_Stay alive for me," Tonks splayed her palm on his chest, above his heart, "take care of yourself, no matter what, please." His heart began beating quicker. Remus wondered idly if she knew; how much he loved her. _

"_Dora…" Remus frowned, puzzled, "did something happen?" He reached his hand to her face, catching a tear on the crook of his index finger. She looked so fragile; Remus had to remind himself again and again to be gentle. . _

"_No," She replied hurriedly, "nothing happened…" The initial emotion he felt was doubt blossoming but Tonks looked straight into his eyes and his thoughts were gone. He smiled at her, just slightly and watched her smile forcibly back. _

_Remus brushed away a strand of mousy brown hair and tucked it behind her ear with the slight smile still on his lips. He caressed her cheek with the back of gentle fingers, "I will, for you," He heard himself say; just to put her mind at ease. He saw some worry diffuse in her eyes. _

_Tonks nodded, pressing her ear to his chest. He chuckled as her breathing became smooth and he knew she'd fell asleep again. Remus sought joy in little things like this as he__ realised__ that he could provide the comfort Tonks badly needed. Remus glanced at her, worried but decided not to probe; she already had enough on her mind without his constant doubt of her. _

Remus remembered how beautiful she looked that day; even wearing plain black robes and mousy brown hair. He felt a familiar ache in his chest and barely flinched as he simply leaned back, closing his eyes.

At that time, he knew something was bothering her but he didn't know what. Now he did. She had been worrying about the Battle at the Department of Mysteries and Remus could only berate himself for not noticing earlier.

Caught up in his own thoughts, Remus spoke aloud into the darkness; the only thing that he could speak to without going mental on himself or flying into rage, "Dora, where are you?"

* * *

"Come, Nymphadora!" Voldemort laughed as he gestured Tonks forward. She did as she was told; her face blank, occasionally contorting in pain and confusion, "You killed Emmeline Vance!" He spread his arms by his sides, declaring to his death eaters, "Well done Nymphadora!"

A few death eaters laughed, Bellatrix's standing out.

Tonks frowned slightly but it didn't go unnoticed by Voldemort who narrowed his eyes at her. He caught her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his eyes.

Her mind was open and what he saw was clear. A scarred face of Remus Lupin; werewolf and Order Member. Tonks lingered on his troubled expression, his guarded blue eyes, his pursed lips, his fingers that were constantly tangled together as he pondered. And there was an emotion, an annoyance to the Dark Lord; he recognized it from prying open so many minds of others but he despised it.

"You're in love with him," Voldemort leaned back in his chair, his voice revealed a tinge of realization, mocking and disgust.

Bellatrix cackled louder.

He gazed down at her thoughtfully before speaking, "I am your master, Nymphadora," He leaned forward again, "I am the only one you think of," Voldemort cooed softly. Tonks looked up, a puzzled expression, her grey eyes still glazed over, making her iris a lighter grey.

"Yes, master," She replied, her tone lilt and dreamy but there was a small furrow between her brows.

With an angry snarl, he whipped his wand and Tonks was thrown back, collapsing on her back.

"Why do you constantly resist me?" He stood quickly, marching forward hurriedly and back handed Tonks across the cheek with a resounding slap, "Crucio," He leaned over her, watching with twisted pleasure as Tonks shriveled up, her teeth gritted against the pain. Despite her efforts, she howled in pain, "I tire of this," He straightened out, looking down at her with disdain.

"M-master," Tonks gasped, "I will try harder. I-"

Her voice was drowned out as Bellatrix cackled at her plight. Voldemort ignored her, narrowing his bloodshot eyes at her, "Weak!" He hissed.

A look of anger crossed her face but faded quickly as at command, her mind went blank, leaving her confused with her emotions.

"I-" She choked on her words, teeth clenched, resisting the pain.

The Dark Lord stared at her with a look of distaste, as if she was a disgusting creature in his presence and not a person. He ended the spell with a mere wave of his hand, "Stand up now," He hissed. She did so, shakily, not trusting her legs.

He shot that same look at her once more before turning away, "Tell me Nymphadora, what should we do next?" He asked casually, "perhaps Remus Lupin-"

Tonks' breath hitched and her face paled but she didn't speak.

He twisted around to face her, noticing this slight change in her posture, "I am your master, Nymphadora," The Dark Lord said forcibly, "you will do exactly as I tell you. No resistance, no reluctance. None of it! Nothing, unless I tell you,"

Tonks inclined her chin in affirmative but not speaking.

"This would not do," The Dark Lord muttered, bemused at Tonks' plight of confusion and futile resistance, "the old man has softened his servants more than I thought he did. None of you can achieve anything in this state. You resisted me, even on the verge of killing Emmeline Vance. You hesitated when you are asked to kill her. You casted the leg locker; a weak spell," He hissed in anger, "Denying everything I taught you! Defying my orders,"

Tonks whimpered where she stood.

"Are you scared, Nymphadora?" He mocked, raising his wand and pressing it to her chest; taunting her, "your heart is mine as is your mind. It belongs to me."

She stiffened; a reflex, upon sight of the wand but stood her ground, not moving a muscle, unless her master allowed so.

"What should I do with you Nymphadora? You are a talented witch, a valuable servant no doubt. You have so much to offer!" Voldemort curled his lips, considering his options, "I will not kill you but what do you think you deserve?"

Tonks didn't reply, waiting soberly for orders.

"Answer me!" He hissed, his wand probing her chest where her heart beats.

She didn't even flinch, his hold on her was firm, unyielding, "Punishment," Tonks replied, her voice blank as was her expression.

"For what, dearest Nymphadora?" Voldemort lowering his wand as her resistance faded to nothing. Her weak mind was failing her; not having the strength any longer. He mentally probed her for an answer.

"Defiance, Master," She said unblinkingly, her voice monotonous.

"Now, that wasn't difficult, is it?" He turned away from her momentarily and Tonks remained silent, just as her master wanted her to, "but I will not punish you today Nymphadora. You are too important to me; in our mission."

She sensed a reply momentarily but it quickly faded and she shut her mouth. Her mind was blank without an order from him. Tonks was just a shell of who she was.

"However, you are still defiant. You still want to fight me," A slight frown appeared as he faced her, "So I have a mission for you and only if you succeed, then you are ready for what I want you to do," He paused and Tonks waited, neither nervous nor tensed or scared, just a blank slate, "I want you, to kill Alastor Moody."

* * *

Grimmauld Place was thankfully silent. Remus had finally gained courage to pluck himself from the floor of Emmeline's home and get himself back to Grimmauld Place. His mind on getting a glass of hot chocolate for himself to drive away the nonsensical and suicidal thoughts in his mind, Remus headed for the kitchen.

He jumped, startled, as he saw Mad-Eye Moody seated at the table, his back to him.

"Mad-Eye," He blurted, "I thought you left," Remus murmured, walking to the counter.

"You were in a fight," Moody pointed out without turning to look at him.

Remus' hand immediately flew to touch the burn on his cheek, wincing, "yes," He replied, seeing no point in denying the fact to a man who can see everything, literally.

"With Severus,"

Remus winced. _How did he know? _

"Yes,"

"For Nymphadora," Moody ended his verdict bluntly. Remus kept quiet, stirring his hot chocolate mindlessly, "Foolish!" Mad-Eye berated sharply and Remus jumped again, dropping his spoon. It fell into the cup, causing a small clink but it seemed to reverberate around the silent kitchen.

The tension, he could feel, was tight thus Remus waited but Mad-Eye was obviously waiting for this reply, "I can't stand not knowing," Remus muttered. Although he knew better than to provide excuses to the ex-Auror, Remus was just too tired to think of a way to maneuver himself out of this mess.

To his surprised, Moody merely grunted, "and what did you find?"

"Nothing, Snape refuses to tell me anything," Remus replied bitterly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Albus is none the wiser," Moody studied him with uncomfortable intensity as he sat down opposite him. Then Moody leaned forward, a hand on the table and another on the walking stick. A shadow fell upon his face as he lowered his gaze and spoke in a low voice, "But Nymphadora is alive," His voice merely a whisper but Remus heard every word and his heart clung on to them like a lifeline.

Remus couldn't stop the joy and elation that bloomed in his chest. A part of him had assumed Nymphadora was dead but the conscious part of him had refused to say the words. Now that he knew she wasn't, he felt some strength coming back to him, to keep living and fighting.

"Thank you," Remus whispered; feeling gratitude towards Moody. He could have easily decided to keep the information to himself but he didn't and Remus was eternally grateful for that. Comfortable silence enveloped them and Remus looked up to see Moody staring at the table. He had no idea what Moody was waiting for or what he intended to achieve by staying at Grimmauld till late hours. Remus suspected that Moody himself might not have the answer so Remus didn't probe. Instead, he decided to ask Moody another question, one that he had been meaning to.

"Alastor," He swallowed; uncomfortable with calling the man, so many years his senior, by his name. But Remus felt this was appropriate for the topic he was about to ask Mad-Eye, "Did you know my parents?"

A slight furrow formed between his thick brows but Moody eventually replied, "Yes, I did," He took a deep breath, "I knew them. I had just qualified as an Auror for less than a year when I met them. And glimpsed you,"

"I don't remember," Remus frowned.

"You wouldn't," Mad-Eye said gruffly, "The butterfly in the garden commanded your attention for the whole day, as your mother so kindly put it," Remus blushed. He did recall having an interest in the colourful creatures that flew around in his mother's equally colourful garden. Colours fascinated him; they were hard to come by for werewolf whose world was always grey with bleakness.

He couldn't help a fond smile that crept to his face in realisation. From the day he met her, Nymphadora had dug her way into his heart; that little bundle of colours as Sirius had often referred to her as. He did have a love for colourful things, Remus mused.

Mad-Eye broke his musing as he reached for his hipflask and took a big gulp, "How much do you know about Greyback's revenge?" Remus asked cautiously. He knew he was bitten because his father offended the werewolf but Remus never did know the details; his knowledge was limited to whatever his father saw fit to tell him.

Mad-Eye reached up, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I knew that your father was a fool," Remus flinched as Mad-Eye spat that word like it was, in itself, a sin. His tone softened as he continued, "Always the outspoken and fearless man he was. Careless about his family's safety; always putting courage and chivalry at the very front. Well deserved Gryffindor that man,"

Remus was silent, waiting patiently for him to continue, "He refused to cower under Greyback's tyranny that he had over everyone. With a simple threat of biting any of their family members and anyone against the werewolf will be silenced,"

"Not my father," Remus spoke when Mad-Eye paused again, both eyes on Remus now.

"No. Lyall Lupin was not afraid. He took every precaution to protect you and your mother but Greyback came through," Mad-Eye's voice was turning hoarse as he spoke now, "He's a fool, I say!" He slammed the table with such vigor, Remus' hot chocolate almost spilt over.

Remus swallowed. He didn't hate his father even after knowing that his infliction was because of Lyall Lupin. Remus loved his father. Although Remus did resent him for a while but it was quickly replaced by some pride as maturity took over. Everyone made mistakes, everyone was different. The price his father had to pay for his courage was just more than others.

For a moment, Remus glimpsed Moody's real eye softening, "And that cost him everything," Mad-Eye's gaze held a faraway look, that of recollection, "What he held most dear,"

* * *

She'd just arrived with a soft pop. Her surrounding was quiet but what she felt wasn't the eerie silence she was used to; it was the accompanied comfort that she subconsciously felt.

Sharp pain shot into her head as she recalled.

"_Wow…" Tonks mumbled as she laid eyes on the house. Its paint was unbelievably faded, the front garden neglected and filled with weeds, the once beautiful fence around the house was tattered; its gate loose on its hinges. _

"_What?" Mad-Eye grunted, clonking onward without so much as a second glance to his house. _

"_Nothing," Tonks replied instantly, wide-eyed and if she dared to admit, a little terrified of her new mentor, "it's…charming," _

_Mad-Eye snorted but chose to ignore her as he barreled his way past the fence gate by swinging it open roughly. Tonks cringed as it creaked, threatening to fall off. She'd have fixed it but Tonks was never good at household-y spells and it would delay her; which was exactly what Mad-Eye couldn't tolerate. _

_She rushed after him, watching the weeds that filled the path. _

_Without warning, her left foot caught on a weed and she tumbled to the ground unceremoniously. Pain shot up her left knee and Tonks winced, unwinding the weed around her feet but it clung on tight. Tonks furrowed her brows, trying to tear the cursed thing off her. _

_She jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder and glimpsed a wand. She heard Mad-Eye mutter a spell in his low raspy tone before the weeds gave up and slithered away. Tonks could've slapped herself for not noticing that the weeds were spelled –for security no doubt. She chanced a glance at Mad-Eye; afraid of the man. If she couldn't defend herself against a few weeds, how was she going to be an Auror? _

_Mad-Eye's lips was pressed together in what looked like disapproval and disappointment but his real eye was gazing at her with a look she had never seen before in his eye; almost tortured. Tonks couldn't identify why. _

_She tried to stand but felt sharp pain shot up her left leg and Tonks shifted to reveal her bloody knee. Lodged in the flesh was a stray splinter. She grimaced and bit her lips, refusing to cry. Tonks had had her shares of splinters but they always hurt the most._

"_Come on, up you get," Mad-Eye grunted. He swung her arm over his shoulder and hoisted her to her feet, surprisingly strong. Tonks felt her pride sting as her new mentor had to drag her into the house on the first day she was attached to him. As they crossed the threshold, Tonks thought sullenly how her mentor would think of her now; first day and defeated by weeds. _

_For all Tonks knew, they could be the very first test and she failed. _

_He dropped her into an arm chair that creaked as her weight sank into it but it was surprisingly comfortable; seemingly hugging her frame snugly. It was ridiculously huge for her petite frame and Tonks imagined it was made to fit someone of a bigger frame, probably Mad-Eye himself. She felt the urge blurt a smart comment she had but she bit her tongue; no one likes a mentee with cheek. _

_Tonks watched nervously as her mentor returned from the other room that he disappeared into. In his hand was two bottles. He dropped heavily onto a stool after kicking it so it slid to a stop opposite her. He planted his walking stick by the couch and sat down. _

"_Drink this," Mad-Eye shoved the vial into her hand. Tonks hesitated, "It's not poison, girl!" _

_She almost dropped the vial, startled with his strident and rough tone. Instantly, she downed the lot, frightened but refusing to admit so. Tonks handed back the empty vial and he took it. She dared a glance at his face and noticed that he seemed to have softened a little. _

_When he prodded her knee where the splinter lodged, she winced, "Ouch," Instantly, Tonks clamped her mouth shut; no big tough Auror would like a cry baby but Mad-Eye didn't say anything but removed his hand from prodding her wound. _

_He took out his wand, removing the splinter carefully with a few spells that might put some healers to shame. Tonks watched on attentively, hoping to learn a thing or two. As Mad-Eye applied the balm to her wound, she recited the spells silently in her head; the ones Mad-Eye muttered and could be heard._

"_Thank you," She ducked her head as Mad-Eye stood. He grunted in reply before leaving. Tonks glanced down at her knee to see it all healed and back to normal, save for a small scar. _

"_Now," He said; a scowl on his face as he glanced at the time. She jumped to her feet, at attention. Tonks had already received her share of yelling back at the Auror Office where she first met her new mentor and was 'sloppy', "it didn't escape my notice that you have two left feet," Tonks blushed, cursing under her breath, "you had best work on that. First, you'll have to learn to get pass those weeds, apparently," He gestured out the window. _

_Tonks nodded, heading for the door. It took more than a few tries and a few more trips. She had thought a simple immobulus would have sufficed but Mad-Eye seemed to have charmed these weeds otherwise. With the large number of them, Tonks found herself outnumbered and very much overwhelmed. _

_Mad-Eye stood at the doorway, watching closely and occasionally giving advices. Tonks had a few more tumbles but resilience had always been her strong trait. Eventually, she had her last stumble and managed to subdue those plants. Tonks' hair was disheveled, her robes torn and muddy, her hands caked with dirt._

_As she crawled to her feet proudly, Tonks noticed the setting sun. Her heart sank. She had no doubt killed whatever plans Mad-Eye had for the day by taking so long. She was sure he was going to be disappointed with her. She turned to him to see Mad-Eye nodding stiffly at her; the first signs of approval since they'd met. _

_She grinned, proud despite herself. _

Tonks cried out, cradling her head in her hands as she sank to her knees.

_Kill… _

She glimpsed the rundown house. Its dirty windows revealed a pitched dark interior which meant that her target was asleep or out. The house stood quiet but strong.

_Tonks walked beside Mad-Eye, with her usual bounce in her step. She had just gained the approval of the lecturer of Concealment and Disguise and that definitely raised her spirits as opposed to the Stealth and Tracking lecture._

"_Mad-Eye?" She started, waiting purposefully for his acknowledging grunt. He did and she continued, "Why don't you furnish your house? We could take a day off training. I could help you, with y'know, fixing the fence-"_

"_And will a gate stop you-know-who?" He barked, clonking into the house after waving his wand at it to check its premises with __Homenum Revelio_

_Tonks rolled her eyes at her sully mentor, "Wouldn't kill to repaint at least…" _

"_While that time could be used to work on your stealth?" Mad-Eye shot back. Tonks rolled her eyes at his back, already growing pass the point of blushing at every verbal prod he shot at her, "Cheek," He muttered but said no more as he stomped into his house. _

The pain threatened to tear her head open from the inside.

_Kill Alastor Moody._ The voice pressed on her memories; her mind.

Tonks grunted as she got to her feet, brandishing her wand. The knots in her head loosened and the pain seeped away. _That's it, do not resist…_ The voice hissed, cooing.

Tonks shook her head, walking closer to the house. The wards had no effects on her. They permitted her to enter, they always have.

"_Come," Mad-Eye grunted. _

_Tonks watched on, puzzled as Mad-Eye gestured her over. She stiffened, all her instincts in-built in her for the pass few months tugging at her muscles, as she glimpsed Mad-Eye whipping out his wand. She took out hers with fumbling fingers; she definitely needed to work on that, but managed a tight and firm grip on her wand. _

"_Away with the wand, lass!" He barked impatiently, tugging her over when she's within arm's reach. He muttered a few spells and Tonks felt nothing but saw a swirly light envelope her from head to toe before vanishing. _

"_What is that?" Tonks frowned. _

"_Now you'll be able to enter the outer wards," He replied. Tonks' eyes widened. She had never heard of Mad-Eye giving that privilege to anyone, ever; probably only Dumbledore but no one else, "but you still can't gain entry to the house," _

_Tonks nodded; still elated with the thought of the trust Mad-Eye actually put it in her. _

"_That way, you wouldn't need to pester me all the time about letting you in from yards away," He grumbled but Tonks had already learnt to see through that grumpy exterior to see a mentor who actually cared about her. _

_She grinned, feeling an itch to hug him but fighting that urge with the thought of getting blasted with impedimenta. Instead, she beamed, "Thanks, Mad-Eye," He grunted his acknowledgement, feigning oblivious to her thanks but Tonks could've sworn she saw the corner of his frowning lips twitch up into a slight smile. _

She choked on her next breath, her hand trembling. Memories are slippery things and hers kept coming.

_Moody wasn't there just to teach her, he was there to guide her and to keep an eye on her every move in case she is an agent of Voldemort, sent to spy on the ministry. When that happens, Tonks knew they would count on Mad-Eye to subdue her. _

_She looked at her mentor, the man she had always looked up to and admired, wondering would he really do what he had to as an Auror, if she'd really turned out to be Voldemort's followers, if she would to do his bidding; Would Mad-Eye do the necessary if he needed to? _

_For the first time, Tonks wondered if her life ever meant anything to her old stubborn mentor._

_Would he kill her?_

"_No," As if reading her mind, which he probably was, using __legilimency__. Tonks was already aware that he was an accomplished __legilimens__, "I've already seen enough to know." _

"No," She groaned as pain clutched her head, squeezing the life out of her.

_Kill…_

"Shut up!" Tonks growled, her vision slipping in and out of darkness. Then she heard a rustling behind her. Instincts for self preservation overrode everything; her memories, the pain, the voice sick cooing…

She looked up, squinting in the darkness, clutching her wand. There was nothing to see. Tonks casted homoneo reveallio. There was someone hidden in the bushes…

She raised her wand, ready to attack. The familiar voice came back, clouding her mind, the force overwhelming.

_Go into hiding and wait for him. Then you are to kill him…_

Tonks found herself nodding, her mind at ease with whoever was out there. She walked closer to the house till the point where the final wards were put up; where she had no further access.

She shuffled over to the side, in the shadows and stood, vigilant; waiting, just as she was told to.

To be continued…

A/N: References to **chapter 23** with Remus and Tonks moment before the battle at the department of mysteries. I tweaked it a little to fit Remus' POV. Also some references to **Chapter 3** where Mad-Eye explains to her a bunch of stuff that has been bothering her. Apart from that, small snippets of Tonks' time under Mad-Eye's training that were not mentioned earlier. Hope the Mad-Eye and Tonks fans (not in a romantic way but in a mentor-mentee way) will enjoy it, this is a real treat ;)

Sorry if Mad-Eye seemed OOC, I am aware he is a little different from the one JK Rowling wrote. I have complete respect for what she wrote but since this is AU, I thought to bring it all the way out there. I have a back story for him which will explain his character but I am not sure how I will write it (in terms of which chapter or if it will be a side accompanied story to this one, what do you think?) or when but I do intend to have it written out.

I will not apologise for the cruel cliffie; it's a perverse habit of mine ^^

Peace!

~Hinotima24

**Thanks to the lovely reviewers who left me great reviews last chapter, love you all! Roza-Belikov12, Clumsy Cayenne, TheMaraudersAreTOTALLYAWESOME, ****Nymphadora-Remus4ever, LoopyLuna13, Sarah15, tt crews, HammersNStrings & Just a Cute Idea**

**LoopyLuna13: I thought she would have to kill someone or the whole idea of her being under the Imperio curse will be unreal; kinda like when no one dies in a show or something, it's unrealistic. If you get what I mean (: Sorry if I ruined it for you by doing that! Haha, I'm aware this is cruel but…it will all be revealed it time (: **


	28. Chapter 28: Gone

Chapter 28: Gone

Remus climbed the steps wearily, his joints creaking from sitting at the table too long; caught up in a conversation with Alastor Moody. It was when the retired Auror finally decided to leave did Remus went about what he had intended to do initially.

In his hands, he was holding a hot plate of pasta and a cup of coffee.

Remus had no doubt that Sirius had not had anything apart from fire whiskey for the whole day. That man even skipped Order meetings. He was worst for the wear since he got out of captivity.

"Sirius?" Remus called as he paused outside the attic door. From inside, he heard a squeak from Buckbeak and without waiting for Sirius' answer, Remus nudged open the door. The lock had long broken with years of handling.

Buckbeak was huddled in a corner, gazing around the dirty floor lazily. The man in question was sprawled on the floor, his face down and in his hand was an empty bottle of fire whiskey. Remus sighed, putting down the food by the door. He bowed to Buckbeak and when the hippogriff did so in return, Remus crouched down by Sirius' immobile form.

"You've finally drunk yourself to death, haven't you?" He sighed, slipping an arm under Sirius' to tug him up but the man resisted.

"Leave me alone!" Sirius wailed, shrugging off Remus' hold on him and continued being sprawled on the floor.

Remus huffed in annoyance, getting back up, "So that's what you're going to do?" He folded his arms across his chest; a gesture unlike something he would normally do but taunting might get Sirius back up and that was what Remus was willing to try, "Lie there forever? Is that going to help Nymphadora? To drink yourself to death so you can avoid the guilt-"

"Shut up!" Sirius jolted up from the floor, tossing the empty bottle at the wall. It flew pass Remus, brushing his shoulder, and shattered on the wall. Remus flinched, "You have no idea what I went through. She was with me! In my arms…" He gazed down at his empty arms, hysterical, "she was crying, absolutely sobbing her heart out. She begged me to get her out of that horrid place! Look what I've done!" He was screaming now, like the deranged murderer the whole of Britain thought he was, "I failed her! I failed everyone I love most! I let James and Lily down, I let Nymphie down! And Harry…" His voice trailed off and the poor man huddled over, hugging himself as he broke down.

Remus felt a dull throb as he was reminded of James and Lily; his best friends whom he had lost. He closed his eyes momentarily before slipping his arm under Sirius' to yank him up, "Come on, you're drunk," He muttered but Sirius jerked out of his grip violently, inching away.

"No…" Sirius looked up, his eyes unfocused; he was drunk but Remus knew through the alcohol, Sirius hurt, "I know, Remus… I remembered what happen. Nymph…" He hunched over and sobbed quietly.

Remus cringed. His friend was crumbling and Remus was helpless. He had already given whatever comfort he could to poor Sirius but there was a limit to what a man can give when that man was hurting. Remus had lost whatever Sirius did; the people they loved. Looking at Sirius now; a man hollowed out with grief, Remus always hurt as he did. Remus only learnt to control his emotions better.

"Nymph," Sirius muttered, yanking at his stringy hair that was in desperate need for washing.

"Sirius…" Remus sighed, running his hand through his greying hair. He did not need this right now. He knelt down by his sobbing friend, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it, "you didn't fail James and Lily…it was Peter-"

"I told them…" Sirius choked back a sob, "I said, "James, use Peter instead. The more I thought about it, no one would ever suspect him. You and Lily would be safe with him as Secret Keeper."."

Remus froze. This was first time Sirius had truly related to him what exactly happened, how Peter had come to be secret keeper. James and Lily had always been a forbidden topic between them; an agonizing topic. Remus had only known the vague story, not probing Sirius for more than he was ready to give.

"And you know James. He trusted me. He said yes." Sirius turned to Remus, a crazed expression in his eyes, "I killed them. And Nymph…she trusted me. She was counting on me!" He jabbed a finger at his own chest.

"Sirius…" Remus squeezed his shoulder, pulling Sirius into a firm hug. The broken man was trembling, his body racked with sobs. In true honesty, Remus didn't know how to help him. The only solution he saw was to bring Nymphadora back safe and sound; which both of them was helpless about.

Sirius sniffed, the tears ceasing and he patted Remus on the back in silent thank, "What is going to happen to her, Moony?" Sirius struggled to get the words out coherently.

"I don't know," Remus mumbled.

* * *

Tonks shifted, becoming animated once again as she heard a soft pop a distance away.

_Not yet_. The voice hissed at her.

Tonks froze, slinking back into the shadows. She awaited an order which never came so she set out, in an attempt to fulfill what she was ordered to.

Her icy exterior cracked and she grimaced as her mentor came into view. He was looking right at her, his wand grasped in one hand and his staff in another. Tonks didn't expect anything less from Alastor Moody; he did have that magical eye and was renowned for his paranoia.

A sharp mental prod stabbed her; a reminder and Tonks felt herself crumbled back into the dark of her mind. Tonks didn't feel nervous or scared; she felt nothing that she was not supposed to feel.

Her target, however, was on the edge.

His bulky frame was tensed under his thick robe. His wand was held inclined at an awkward angle that implied hesitation but Tonks knew he could obliterate her at a single trigger so Tonks played it out. She was confident she will get her chance; just as her master was confident in her.

She had learnt her share of dark magic but she was no match for Mad-Eye in a fair fight and Tonks knew her odds. Few were matched against the experience Auror.

Thus, Tonks decided to play it quietly; her face blank, her eyes studying Mad-Eye cautiously, exactly how he was with her.

Alastor Moody's natural brown eye was fixed on her but his magical blue eye swerved in his socket, disappearing into the back of his head. He was doing a quick assessment of his surrounding. Tonks knew exactly how Mad-Eye worked which was probably why her master remained silent. The Dark Lord was letting her act it her way as the mission was already carved into her head. _Kill Alastor Moody_.

Her unblinking stare faltered and her eyes blurred up as her mind clouded up with misery and despair, then confusion as it became a blank slate again. These happen so quickly, Tonks couldn't find it in her to catch up to the advancement.

"Nymphadora?" Moody spoke, his voice was achingly familiar; raspy and rough, hoarser than usual. His wand twitched in his hand as he raised it by a fraction more; a warning. Tonks wanted to approach but took the warning as such and instead, stood her ground

_He doesn't care for you._ The voice suddenly crooned to her.

Tonks frowned, her hands trembling; feeling a silent objection deep down but terror stopped her from retorting back to her Master.

"Nymphadora, answer me!" Moody barked; his wand now trained on her, his last warning. For a while there, Tonks was almost absolutely sure he would blast the life out of her if she didn't reply him.

_Yes…he will._ The voice goaded her.

_No. _She frowned as this new revelation that came up in her mind_. He wouldn't kill me…_She heard herself thought._ I can't do this._ Her knees are growing dangerously weak beneath her.

_No._ Her Master was furious and Tonks shuddered in genuine fear that she felt blossoming in her chest. _You will kill Alastor Moody-_

"Nymphadora?" Her mentor's strident voice broke through the chaos in her mind; like cutting through water.

She heard the concern, the unexplained fondness he had had for her since the day she was attached to him as mentee. Suddenly, Tonks was absolutely sure he cared for her; he would never hurt her, ever. He loved her; just like how her own father, Ted Tonks, had always loved her.

The domination Voldemort had over her, that had been pulled taut, snapped. Tonks scrambled for orientation, "H-help me," Tonks heard herself croak out pathetically; tears running down her face. It was maintained only for a moment before the presence of her master returned, stronger than ever; overwhelming her.

_Fool! _The voice sneered.

She collapsed and her mind clouded over before darkness claimed her.

Tonks was moving but she wasn't on her feet. It took a while for her fuzzy mind to register the feel of someone close to her; carrying her. Her head was resting on a rough fabric that was warm and oddly comfortable. Low mutters rumbled near her ear, sending thundering waves of headache into her.

She frowned in distress and stirred, her head lolling away from its snug position. Tonks glimpsed wood before it was replaced with momentary darkness and then light. Warmth tickled her body as she was brought out of the cold and into the house.

Her head was throbbing with a weight she couldn't explain. Her ears were pounding with the rhythmic familiar thumping of Mad-Eye's prosthetic leg against his wooden floor. Thankfully, she was placed down eventually.

Tonks took a while to take in her new surrounding with her sense of touch. She then realised she was placed gently into the large old arm chair that had always been 'hers'. Every time she came, the chair was wordlessly vacant for her to fill. Occasionally, Mad-Eye would sit in it, his brown eye staring into space but otherwise, he steered clear of it.

Tonks didn't understand but didn't probe; she liked the idea of having 'her' chair in her mentor's house.

As usual, the large arm chair sunk in to fit her frame snugly but the comfort was loss on Tonks as she recognised the weight; the heavy presence of her master, once again regaining in stubborn control of all of her save a rebellious part that refused to collapse.

"Nymphadora?" She felt a large warm hand pat her right cheek; to sober her. It was anything but gentle. However, Tonks had come to recognise the fondness that came through that simple gesture.

She blinked.

The sight of Moody up close stabbed at her heart. Tonks could feel her Master struggling to suppress her emotions that went in the way of the mission time and again. Somehow, Tonks found the strength in her to ignore her Master; remaining in control of herself.

Moody looked older. There were minute differences. The extra lines that imprinted themselves between his thick brows, his mouth seemed pulled down permanently now and more lines accompanied that change as well. All these unnoticeable changes tugged painfully at her heart strings. The throb in her head got more intense as she felt heartache.

Tonks then glanced to see Moody's wand still in his other hand, again not pointing right at her but inclined. A part of Tonks felt hurt.

She felt the rude invasion, inserting thoughts into her mind, _He doesn't care for you. He cares for his own. He deceived you-_

_No… _Tonks shot back.

_Don't defy me!_ The voice hissed at her, harsh and then she felt it; the warning and a reminder of the punishment that awaits her. She flinched instinctively.

"You're under the Imperius curse…" She heard Moody mutter before backing away hurriedly, almost frantic; his wand pointed straight at her.

"I-I…" Tonks squeezed her eyes shut, struggling. Tonks' hand began to reach for her wand.

_Kill him now!_ The voice screeched as her fingers closed around her wand. She could feel rage, frustration and desperation; all the foreign feelings that weren't her own. Tonks wanted so badly to give up. Her body was tired, her mind was crumbling but her heart remained strong, pushing her forth every time.

That was the true Hufflepuff she had inside her, it outshone all other values she had, fighting back; unyielding, resilient.

"Go away…" Tonks murmured to Mad-Eye. She stumbled as she was instructed to stand, her wand already in her hand.

"He has used it on you more than once, hasn't he?" Moody spoke, his brown eye narrowing, "Nymphadora, you know how it is! You know how it works!" His tone was sharp, fierce; sounding acutely like when she was back in training.

She did know.

With more times an Imperius curse was used, it would be rendered less effective and eventually, the victim would be able to defy the curse, break free of that control on their own accord.

That was why she fought at all; Tonks knew the Imperius curse was not fool proof. Mad-Eye himself had taught her and she remembered.

"Use your mind," Moody growled. He had taught her that too; how to resist an Imperius curse. He had spent about 3 days teaching her the specific details of every unforgiveable; completely neglecting the training module the ministry assigned but he felt it was worth it. And he was right; _he's always been right. _

As far as Tonks was concerned; she had worshipped Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody since she signed up for the career as an Auror. He was a legend in that department; his performance of apprehending Dark wizards, phenomenal. Till today, that admiration remained.

_Kill him now!_ The voice shrieked. Tonks jumped, startled. She shuddered, her wand slipping from her grasp and clattering to the floor.

"Good girl!" Tonks heard Mad-Eye bellow in the background. His praise was heartfelt as throughout her attachment in training to him, she had gotten few; making complements and praises all the more precious to her.

More of her was coming back. Tonks could feel herself; her emotions, her thoughts. They were rapidly overriding the looming presence that terrified her.

_No!_ Tonks heard a deafening roar in her ear before it faded slowly. She glimpsed her wand soaring through the air and landing neatly in Moody's grasp.

Her mentor was watching her like a hawk. As the last of Voldemort fade away, leaving almost a sore spot. Tonks fell back into the couch, letting out a small sigh. Moody hesitated to approach; his wand held before himself.

"Nymphadora?"

Tonks let out a breath she didn't she had been holding as she stared at the wrong end of the wand. She clenched a fist and looked down in disbelief as her body obeyed; she was herself again.

"Look at me," Mad-Eye growled impatiently and she did. With a few glances and more experiences than Tonks could imagine, Moody approached with his wand. She could see the satisfaction in his eye.

"Sorry," She croaked out, despising the pathetic tone in her voice. Tonks watched him relax a little, his wand still held out defensively, his posture guarded.

"How are you feeling? What happened?" he barked, demanding but she identified the concern again, easily this time. They made him stumble over his words slightly; something that he attempted to cover up by adding volume. Tonks hid a small smile, bemused at her mentor's elaborate attempts to conceal his own emotions.

As he spoke, Tonks began to register her emotions, marveling at the feel of them after being neglected of them for so long. Then realisation crashed on her and she was made aware of an aching feeling; guilt. "I killed her…Emmeline…" tears clouded her vision, making everything before her swirl about in barely recognisable shapes.

Mad-Eye grunted, sitting down in a stool opposite her. He had gotten closer but his wand, as well as hers remained in his grasp, "You-know-who wanted to kill her." It wasn't a question, "why?"

Tonks sobbed, "I don't know. He wanted me to do it. And I did it. That was all I thought-" she couldn't continue as her sentence broke off into sobs. It wasn't the first time she'd killed but no matter how many times she did it, Tonks was sure it wouldn't make killing any easier for her. Each time she did it, guilt weighed in her, "I'd do anything he asked! Anything!"

Without another word, she felt herself cuddled in her mentor's rough embrace. She buried her face into his coat, not caring if it made her look like a little girl; Mad-Eye did that to her sometimes.

"I almost killed you!" She cried, muffled. He hushed her squeezing around her shoulders.

"Like you could, even if you tried," Raucous guffaws from Mad-Eye filled the house, accompanied with some relieved laugh in between. It wasn't like him; it sounded clumsy. But something warmed in her heart as she heard him say that.

Tonks gave a watery smile, tugging on the pockets of his robe to get a firm grip on him lest he pulled away. She wasn't ready yet. She let her sobs fade and her mentor held her throughout. Soon, a sense of fatigue washed over her, leaving her drowsy in such a warm and comfortable position; her face buried in Mad-Eye's robe, her body slumped forward in the arm chair which she sat in. For a moment, Tonks was certain she never want to leave this position; the security she felt was tantalizing.

She managed a soft protest in the form of a whimper as she was jostled; Mad-Eye pulling away, "How do you feel?" He lowered her back into the arm chair.

"Tired," She muttered, "Head ache," she reached a fist to pound her temple but Mad-Eye muttered some spells and it faded.

"I had best bring you to Albus. Here is not safe. You-know-who will not rest now that you have broken out of his control," Mad-Eye slipped his arm around her back.

"No," She leaned away in weak protest, "He'll come here either way and you-"

"Let him come," Mad-Eye gave a mighty tug on her arm and she rose from the seat reluctantly. He had just about dislocated her arm from its sockets by the amount of force he used.

"No," Tonks frowned, "he'll kill you…" She opened her eyes.

"Quiet now," Moody grunted; an order. She felt herself got pulled from the chair, leaning heavily on Mad-Eye. Her body felt like ooze, her legs can't even straighten themselves.

Her mentor brought her to the door, his wooden leg clonking along on the floor rhythmically; washing a sense of reassurance over her.

Suddenly Mad-Eye stopped in his track. His body tensed and he yanked her back. Tonks yelped in shock as she crumpled to the floor; away from the door, knocking her head against the floor. Her head was ringing.

The door burst open and splinters flew in every direction; most missing her as she remained huddled on the floor. Tonks scrambled unsteadily to her feet to see men hoarding their way in. There seem to be about 10 of them; some with wands, some without.

At one bleary glance, Tonks recognise them; werewolves.

Tonks turn to observe the duel that commenced. To her horror, she could see a large splinter lodged in Mad-Eye's arm. Blood was oozing out and seeping into his robe. However, he seemed oblivious to the pain.

Mad-Eye stealthy decapitated half a dozen of werewolves with spells from the end of his wand. The ones with wands rapidly fought back. Sparks flew, making Tonks disorientated with the chaos. She grasped blindly for her wand in her tired, cursing as she remembered that Mad-Eye still had her wand.

By this moment, Mad-Eye was surrounded by more than 3 werewolves, all armed with wands. 2 of them were approaching her cautiously with lecherous smile marring their scarred faces. She could make out the yellowy teeth and smell the nauseating bad breath as they approached her.

Tonks frantically back-stepped away from them.

One werewolf screamed in pain as he was hit in the back, crumpling to the floor; unconscious. She looked up to see Mad-Eye glancing in her direction. Tonks wanted to mouth her silent thanks but he already looked away.

Tonks felt her heart stop as a werewolf dove at Mad-Eye, knocking him over while he was distracted by the rest. She watched in horror as the werewolves neared onto Mad-Eye as he was overwhelmed with their numbers when the fight got physical.

The protest died in her throat as a thick sinewy arm wrapped around her neck and torso, immobilising her easily. Tonks loathed herself for being weak.

"Stop!" A dreadfully scratchy voice barked from near her ear. Tonks swallowed as her body urged her to retch at the stench.

Everyone looked up, including Mad-Eye. The side of his neck was cut and bleeding. His arm hung limply from his shoulder, blood dripping onto the floor now. Moody looked roughed up but otherwise unharmed. Tonks struggled but Greyback was stronger. She tried wandless magic but without concentration, strength and some sort of emotion catalyst, she was unable to.

"Surrender, old man," Greyback growled, "or," He paused and Tonks felt his lips against her neck. They opened and she felt sharp teeth press painfully into her neck, "Say goodbye to her,"

"Greyback," Mad-Eye spat as he stood, surprisingly steady despite his wooden leg.

"Alastor Moody," Greyback smiled, his face still pressed close to Tonks' neck. She leaned away, smelling his rancid breath, "so, what's the deal?"

Mad-Eye stared; neither attacking nor backing down. Tonks could saw his magical eye disappear in its socket to examine each werewolf surrounding him. He was probably considering the situation and Tonks decided to give him time to.

She spoke, "What do you want?" Tonks said through gritted teeth, trying not to breathe.

"Why, you, my dear," Greyback chuckled, his grip on her tightened, "you will pay for what you did the last time,"

"I didn't know you were so petty," Tonks replied smoothly and he laughed.

"I have much more use for you than that," He whispered and Tonks stiffened, struggling, "now now, let's not get rough," Tonks saw him smile as she stilled. She could feel something sharp dig into her lower back. Greyback then looked up at Mad-Eye, "so what will it be old man?"

Mad-Eye didn't reply again, merely staring and taking in the situation.

"I can't help but notice you have taken quite a liking to little lovely over here," Greyback said, "I could bite down you know," He taunted, "I know where, just so she can bleed out in less than 3 seconds once it cracks."

Tonks noticed a shift in Mad-Eye's posture; one of hesitation.

"No," Tonks spoke, expecting to be silenced but she wasn't. Greyback merely let her say her piece like this was all just a sick game for him, "Don't doubt yourself. You can kill them."

"Yes," Greyback smiled, "of course _Auror _Moody can do it. But by the time he is done with us, you will be cold and dead," He ran his face on her supple skin, humming.

Tonks caught a slight twitch in Mad-Eye's wand hand and in a heartbeat, the wands clattered to the floor. And with it, Tonks' heart fell in and turn cold with dread.

The werewolves laughed, jumping into action. Without his wand, Mad-Eye was close to nothing unless he could conjure wandless magic which required a lot, even from experienced wizards like Mad-Eye. Either way, Tonks could only watch helplessly as Mad-Eye was mauled by 4 werewolves. Two grabbed him. One ruthlessly dug his fingers in and yanked out his magical eye with a grin. Another send a right hook viciously across his face.

Tonks struggled, twisting around to face Greyback, "What do you gain out of this?" she demanded, "What do you want?" She shrieked.

"I want you to fight for _us_," Greyback breathed, not letting her go.

Tonks almost laughed, "I am nothing. I can't help you-"

"Then you are wrong. The Dark Lord trained you himself. I'm sure that didn't go to nothing," Tonks stiffened as she felt his hands begin to roam around her body. Fury bubbled up in her, fueled when she glimpsed Mad-Eye's unconscious form, help upright by two werewolves.

"You're right, Greyback," She hissed, "It didn't go to nothing," Tonks willed her magic. It surged out of her, overwhelming and uncontrollable. It knocked Greyback away and off his feet; including everyone in the room. Tonks instantly felt the depletion in her strength; her knees became jelly again, unable to hold up her weight. She felt the room spin; the floor rapidly approaching. Her world turned black before she could hit the floor.

* * *

**~The Following Day, Evening~**

Remus stared blankly at each order member gathered there, nodding numbly at them; almost not registering their identity. They still have not gotten over Emmeline's untimely death which brought the Order's moral even lower than it already was. Remus sat waiting impatiently for Dumbledore to turn up so that the meeting could commence; something in Remus' gut tell him Snape will have more for them tonight.

The Potion Master was sitting in his chair opposite Remus, rigid and pale; his dark eyes staring at Remus.

It was unlike Remus to defiantly stare back but at moments, Remus found himself doing so; locking eyes with Snape just to spite him.

Sirius was sitting beside Remus, his knobby fingers knotted together firmly. Remus glimpsed him twisting them viciously, refusing to meet anyone's eye. He was feeling guilty and seemed to be under the false impression that everyone was putting all blame on him but that wasn't the case in the least.

Molly practically spoon fed him the moment he emerged from his one week long isolation from the world. Sirius was all skin and bones.

It took Remus more than a few hours to convince Sirius that he had to pull himself together if he truly wanted to help Nymphadora and Sirius decided to give it a try.

The Order was mainly surprised beyond words when they saw Sirius but stumped as to what to say to him upon taking in Sirius' appearance. He looked like a man on his deathbed. Remus was initially worried if Sirius could pull himself to his feet much less attend the meeting.

From the corner of his eye, Remus glimpsed Sirius sitting up straighter, his grey eyes brightening up; attentively. Remus turned and saw Dumbledore walk into the kitchen, taking a seat at the head of the table.

"Should we wait for Mad-Eye and Kingsley?" McGonagall spoke as Dumbledore took his seat.

The wizard shook his head in negative, "we will begin. Minerva if you would kindly inform them of the brief content of the meeting later?" McGonagall nodded.

"Sirius, nice of you to join us," Dumbledore smiled at Sirius kindly, "we terribly miss your presence," The man in question only nodded, barely hearing Dumbledore's pleasantries but anxious to get on with it; as was Remus. Dumbledore gestured to Snape who stood.

Remus blocked out the information which hardly interest him; such as where the death eaters will be raiding next. Remus knew Dumbledore would never assign tasks to Remus at this point; he was evidently too emotionally 'unstable'. He appreciated the headmaster's concern but Remus was antsy to be doing something; like getting Nymphadora out, for example.

When Snape looked to be sitting back down, signifying the end of his report for the evening, Remus was on the edge of his seat, his mouth open to voice his protest on lack of information on the most crucial matter at hand.

"What about Nymphadora?" Sirius snapped, beating Remus to it. Snape narrowed his eyes at Sirius, as if he was regarding a puny insect.

"Severus, we would all appreciate it too if we were given an idea about Nymphadora's situation," Dumbledore finally spoke and Snape nodded stiffly.

He started speaking, albeit reluctantly, "Nymphadora has been tasked to gain information about Order movement from Emmeline Vance and to kill after," Snape paused as various reaction appeared around the table. A few suck in a nervous breath, others hissed in fury. Remus heard 'treason' among the midst. For a moment there, he felt his heart skip a beat as he toyed with the idea of defending Nymphadora.

Remus didn't know what had happened to the Order. In the past, they were such a united and committed bunch, fighting for the force of good and now, they were nothing more than a bunch of confused wizards and witches fighting amongst themselves; getting suspicious of each other.

"Please continue, Severus," Dumbledore spoke, hushing the Order instantly.

Snape looked straight at Sirius as he spoke, "she had been under the influence of the Imperius Curse."

Remus could've sworn he saw a look of shock flit across Dumbledore's face.

"Of whose control?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"The Dark Lord himself," Snape replied simply, "Driven by frustration; Nymphadora didn't comply and the Dark Lord resorted to this."

Everyone was silent as they mulled over what Snape said.

"Is there a way to extract Nymphadora?" Dumbledore asked and Sirius and Remus both allowed a rare smile to creep upon their faces.

Snape hesitated, "It will be difficult," He continued, "The Dark Lord gives Nymphadora nothing but his full attention. To this moment, there is not a time she is left alone or placed under the watch of anyone. The Dark Lord thinks very highly of her and will be most reluctant to let her be for now."

"Can't you just give her whatever you gave me and get her out the same way?" Sirius grumbled, cutting across Snape's next sentence.

Snape curled his lips in distaste, "It will not be easy Black. The Dark Lord will not be fooled twice,"

"What if she was intercepted on her next mission?" Remus suggested calmly, the cogs in his brain finally turning at the thought of finally able to do something in help of Nymphadora, "You said Voldemort-" Everyone but few around the table flinched, "-sent her out for Emmeline. Is he sending her for another?"

Snape hesitated to reply.

"Severus," Dumbledore started, "it will be crucial to remove Nymphadora from this mission. It has become too dangerous for her to continue undertaking it."

Snape frowned, "It will be much more dangerous if we take her by force. The Dark Lord will not rest till Nymphadora returns to him. We will be back where we started."

"Yes, but nothing is more important at the moment than Nymphadora's safety," Dumbledore replied calmly, "We cannot afford to lose another member,"

"She has been tasked to kill Alastor Moody yesterday, at nightfall," An eerie silence engulfed the room. Suddenly Moody's absence hung over them.

"And?" Sirius probed, his hand curled in a fist on the table.

"She has not returned since," Snape said, deadpanned.

Remus could scream, honestly but to prove himself sane so that Dumbledore could once again trust him, Remus didn't. Instead, he spoke, as calmly as he could manage, "I should go to Alastor's house," He stood.

"Nymphadora might still be controlled," Dumbledore said, a furrow forming between his white brows; clearly disapproving

"I can get through to her," Remus replied firmly.

"This won't be that simple, _Lupin_," Snape sneered. Remus turned to Snape and glared.

"I know, Snape, but I am going," Remus shot back and jogged out of the kitchen, swerving around the various order members. Dumbledore didn't agree but he didn't object either. Remus felt this would be his chance; he would be able to see her, help her. His heart swelled with joy.

As Remus made a dash for the door, he could hear a commotion behind him in the kitchen; namely Sirius' voice. Remus would bet anything his friend would try to follow and he would receive the protest of everyone in that room. Remus grasped the handle and yanked open the door, almost running headlong into someone else.

Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"Remus," Kingsley greeted, his face grim, "where are you-"

Remus interrupted him, anxious to check Mad-Eye's house as soon as he could, "To Alastor's house. The rest will explain-"

Kingsley gripped both his shoulders firmly, holding him in place so Remus couldn't make a dash pass him, "The place is wrecked. He is not there. No one is."

To be continued…

* * *

**A/N: Happy Christmas to y'all! Hope this Christmas present was satisfactory! With regard to this chapter, I'm admittedly nervous about the portrayal of Mad-Eye. In the books, he seemed to only be portrayed as paranoid which wasn't much for me to work on. In this and later chapters, I definitely intend to explore the emotional side of him which I hope I do not overdo! Please give feedback!**

**Once again, thank you so much to all my lovely reviewers from last chapter! Your reviews mean so much to me! Thank you to Gnorbert and the dragon, Furionknight, LoopyLuna13, SevIlyRemuDoraAlways, Sarah15, tt crews and HammersNStrings! You guys are awesome!**

**Tt crews: Not sure if the questions are rhetorical but I'll answer them in case they aren't. (if they are, feel free to ignore this!) Tonks joining Voldemort is actually forced by threats and such. So to keep her safe, Tonks had to join under the pretence of being on a mission (Since Tonks would never have joined if Dumbledore told her it's for her safety). If Tonks was able to provide information to the Order, it would be bonus but since Voldemort was so caught up in training her and not fully trusting her yet, Tonks' mission is (as it is now) a complete failure. But that was what I thought when I phrased it such that this is a mission. I realised this is kinda complicated but I hope that clear things up a bit!**

**Gnorbert and the dragon: Welcome aboard! Glad you loved it!**

* * *

**Please review! They are great antidote to lack of motivation in writing and such!**


	29. Chapter 29: Desperation

Chapter 29: Desperation

Tonks stirred. Her body was sore but other than that, Tonks felt well rested. Her mind was clear, her muscles functioning well. She shifted herself and adjusted her eyes to the dim place. The first thing she registered was the stench.

Tonks groaned, bringing up her hand and placing it over her nose and mouth in an attempt to stop the bad smell from getting to her. The room was lit by a single beam of light that entered by a small gap in the wood that was nailed over the window. As her eyes finally adapted, Tonks glimpsed a speck of white in the corner of the cell. She approached, cautious.

Realisation washed over her and she stifled a scream, retreating away from it.

It was a skull, caked with dirt and dried blood.

Tonks stumbled back against the wall she woke up to find herself leaning against. On it, she also saw splatter of blood. Just by her left side, in the corner, Tonks glimpsed pieces of white bone sticking out of the dirt on the floor.

Tonks gagged, turning to her right. Her eyes widened in horror. Just beside her, Mad-Eye Moody lay unconscious. She scrambled to her knees by Moody.

"Mad-Eye, wake up. Please don't be dead…" Tonks heard herself mutter as she held his shoulder, ready to shake him. She then saw the rise and fall in his chest. She heaved a sigh of relief, releasing him. Her hand was covered in blood. Then she remembered his wound from the splinter. Tonks saw that it was still there, embedded in his arm. Instantly recalling her training, Tonks pressed her hand on the wound as best as she could without touching the splinter.

Warm blood was still pouring out.

"Mad-Eye," She shook him by his other arm. His face was bruised from taking punches, his hair now matted and stringy, his magical eye gone, leaving an empty socket, "Mad-Eye, wake up! Please wake up!" Tonks cried, feeling fear creep up on her. Losing too much blood may be fatal if not quickly treated and if she doesn't wake him, he might never wake…

He stirred.

A hesitant smile crept on her face, "Mad-Eye?" She stopped shaking him, watching intently as he opened his single brown eye. Her smile became a full blown grin.

"If I hadn't known better, I would think this a party ," He grumbled, "Wipe that grin off your face," Tonks couldn't comply, that grin still full blown. It was a rare occasion that Mad-Eye felt in the mood to crack a joke, "Where are we?" He grunted as he moved his arm.

"I don't know," Tonks replied sheepishly, shrugging. He glared at her.

Understandable, considering she had just broken the first thing he taught her in the lessons about being in captivity. Lesson #1: Always know your surroundings.

Tonks offered a weak smile which normally got her an even stronger glare or a scolding or two; instead, Mad-Eye snorted and looked away.

"Bloody hell, taking out my eye," He grumbled and Tonks smiled, amused, "Stop smiling, why are you smiling?" Moody snapped.

"I don't know," She looked down at the filthy floor, "Happy I reckon…Missed you a lot," Tonks chanced a glance up to see Moody looking at her, a little stunned.

He unfroze and grumbled, "well, don't be too happy; till we figure out where we are," Moody craned his neck to look around.

"Don't move so much," Tonks protested, his hand still on his wound, "you loss a lot of blood," She pointed at one side of his soaked robe and the small puddle on the floor.

Moody grunted in compliance but still squinted around, trying to figure out their surrounding, "we have to remove it," He glanced down at the splinter. It looked alarmingly huge.

Tonks gaped, "not here. You could bleed out, not to mention the infection," She wrinkled her nose.

"Good that you paid attention during training but it hurts like hell, lass," Moody growled, looking down at his wound with annoyance.

"Yeah, I know," Tonks snickered and when Mad-Eye raise an enquiring brow, she gestured at her shoulder, "Bellatrix," She shrug it off; she didn't need anyone pitying her. Something in Moody's expression shifted and Tonks frowned, curious but didn't probe; it could've been her imagination, "we have to do something about this though," She muttered.

"Leave it…" Mad-Eye paused, apparently holding his breath as Tonks pressed on the wound firmer, stemming the blood flow as much as she could.

"I could try wandless magic," Tonks suggested idly.

"And leave yourself helpless later? You know better than to use spells to mend an impaled arm. Furthermore, I need two arms lass, if you misaim…" Mad-Eye chided, his volume toned down, thankfully. They elapsed into comfortable silence as Mad-Eye regulated his breathing to prevent himself from going into shock, "stupid whoever it is. We are both unbounded."

"At least they have brains not to leave us our wands," She pointed out.

"Werewolves. This is a werewolf camp, lass," Mad-Eye suddenly told her. She frowned, confused. He gestured at their surrounding, "and this is probably where they feed on their victims during the full moon."

Tonks was revolted but took this chance to learn, observe. He was right. There were small details she had missed out at her first glance of her surroundings. The skeletons were all in bits and pieces, there were clumps of fur in corners, accompanying the bones. There was blood everywhere on the floor too. Tonks also glimpsed claw marks. From their position, Tonks could also hear some slight sounds of life outside.

"Getting rusty on training?" Mad-Eye grunted.

"I-" Tonks started to protest but the door that Tonks hadn't seen opened behind her. She jumped to the side just as Mad-Eye yanked her aside so that she was situated beside him instead of between him and the door.

The tall and thick rusted metal door creaked open, grating on its hinges gingerly.

A shaggy haired man stepped in, his scarred but muscular chest bare, flaunting his muscular arms. He only wore torn jeans and went bare footed.

He didn't speak but stare blankly down at them, studying them both before narrowing down on Tonks. He folded his thick arms over his chest and a smile crept up on his lips to reveal black rotted teeth.

"Greyback was right after all," Tonks heard him muse to himself.

She jumped up at that mention despite Mad-Eye's warning grip on her arm. Tonks easily jerked that off and got to her feet.

"Greyback? Where is he? Who are you? Where are we?" She demanded, her voice rising.

"Tsk," The man chided softly, almost teasingly, "aren't you a little spitfire?" His gaze turned lecherous, "I like feisty,"

"Where is Greyback?" Tonks growled through clenched teeth, taking a step to the man that towered about two heads taller than her.

"Umm," He hummed appreciatively, "He's right about the shifter thing too," His fingers reached up to touch his beard.

Tonks didn't need to check to know her hair just changed colour, probably to tomato red, judging by her mood.

"Balastair," A soft growl echoed from the door. The person stepped into the cell and Tonks saw that it was Greyback himself. He looked the same from last time, still donning that robe with his chest bared. His features wolfish and on his neck hung ornaments that probably act as trophies; they were an assortment of bones such as knuckles or fingers.

Tonks noticed the slight shift in the man's, Balastair's, posture as Greyback enters. She recognised it as submission, from the wolves to an Alpha of the pack.

"Nymphadora Tonks," Greyback smirked, "who would've known, you would end up in our hands, finally." Tonks pursed her lips, refusing to reply, "You've met my beta, Balastair," A tinge of anger in his voice as he mentioned the Beta.

"You made a poor choice. This is no better than last time," Tonks sneered, inwardly disgusted at how much like Bellatrix she sounded like.

Greyback's eye bugged in anger but he refused to play into her hand, preserving a calm smirk towards her.

"If you do not cooperate with us, be assured that you will suffer," Greyback gestured at the skulls littering the floor.

"I never did the Dark Lord's bidding," Tonks hissed, "what makes you think I will do yours?"

"Because it'll not be you that myself and my fellow wolves will be feasting on next moon if you don't," Greyback smirked, glancing knowingly behind Tonks and she froze. Greyback then strolled pass her and towards Mad-Eye, "The great Alastor Moody, now at the mercy of werewolves," He chuckled, "I quite like that version." Purposefully, Greyback stomped where Mad-Eye's leg should be at but instead, he stepped on only fabric and Tonks realised they have removed his wooden leg as well.

"Rest assured, Greyback, that the last thing I will be to you is a pawn, used to threaten Nymphadora." Moody growled, glaring at Greyback.

"Let's see what you can do then," Greyback laughed. All of a sudden, he was blown back by an unknown force, causing him to stumble back a few steps. Tonks felt the stir but not the impact. She glanced at Mad-Eye to see her mentor glaring at Greyback with a fury she had never seen before. Greyback quickly recovered from his shock and smirked, "good. Good to see you're still alive and kicking,"

Tonks was stumped. It was obvious Mad-Eye's source of wandless magic was emotions. It was the easiest way one could use wandless magic but Mad-Eye himself had warned Tonks against such usage. It was dangerous and uncontrollable. Thus, Tonks couldn't help but feel puzzled and surprised at such a display. Tonks cringed as she noticed Mad-Eye growing paler, weaker.

"I have my pack's stomach to fill," Greyback smirked at her and Tonks stiffened at the thought, "I'll see you both later," Greyback breathed, leaning close.

"How did you get pass the magical wards?" Mad-Eye growled out.

Greyback sighed, "Since your time is close, I shall let you die in peace, old man," He spun around, "the dark lord tore through your wards after the curse over her weakened."

"He helped you and you stabbed him in the back," Tonks smirked, "I can only imagine what he'd do to you,"

Greyback stiffened, "The Dark Lord doesn't know," He smiled before leaving.

"We need a healer," Tonks heard herself croak just before Greyback step out the doorway. He paused, turning around with raised brow, "he'll bleed out if you don't," She didn't know what came over her but she gritted her teeth and spoke, "I'll never help you if he does," The threat sound meaningless as her voice trembled.

"Nymphadora-" Mad-Eye growled, warning her to stop groveling.

Greyback laughed, "Are you begging me?"

Tonks clenched her fist, glaring at him; refusing to reply. Greyback eventually smirked, walking out with his Beta on his heel. When the door slammed shut, Tonks stood there, unmoving. She was ashamed and humiliated she had just done that but she knew she was driven by sheer desperation. What she told Greyback had not been a lie. Without help soon, Mad-Eye will die; Merlin knows if his wounds would be infected in this cursed place.

"Nymphadora," Mad-Eye spoke, his voice softer now.

She shuffled back towards him; her head kept down, and sat down beside him. In her periphery vision, Tonks could see Mad-Eye keeping pressure on his wound. Fresh crimson blood was still flowing. Before she could stop herself, Tonks felt tears roll down her cheek.

"You can't do his bidding," He grimaced as he shifted his injured arm, "don't," He reached out and patted her cheek. Tonks looked up, her lips quivering as she held back a sob.

"I can't let you die…" She whispered.

Mad-Eye brought his arm around her and guided her closer. Tonks immediately buried her face into his shoulder, crying, "Don't be stupid." He snapped.

Tonks sniffed, "It is my fault. If you hadn't tried to protect me, you could've gotten out of the way just before the door broke in on you."

"Pull it together!" Mad-Eye gave her a little squeeze around her shoulders with his arm, "be tough, like an Auror should be," She felt his large hand pat her back gently as she sobbed.

"You shouldn't have stopped back there," Tonks started thickly, "you could've killed them. Then we wouldn't be here…" Her voice trailed off morosely.

There was a sizable pause before Mad-Eye asked a very queer question; a question Tonks would never imagine him to ask, "Do you hate me for it?"

"No," She sat up abruptly, "of course I don't! I couldn't…you were doing it for me…" Tonks stumbled over her words, "I mean…you could've stopped them there, with your wand…"

Mad-Eye nodded, "I could've," He wiped her tears non-too-gently, in a very typically 'Mad-Eye' manner, "but Greyback would've had you if I did," Tonks wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve as she watched him intently, "and I'm not a fool,"

Tonks felt nagging feeling that there was a deeper meaning in his words but remained puzzled even as Mad-Eye fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Remus felt like he had just fallen into his worst nightmare yet again. Kingsley was not kidding when he mentioned that the house was a wreck.

The roof looked just about ready to collapse. The outer fence was thoroughly destroyed. The weeds were torn through to allow a path straight to the house. The door was blown off its hinges and lay in scattered pieces all over the insides of the house. Blood stained the floor, a lot of blood. Remus swallowed. All around the house, there were broken furniture, torn up floorboard, destroyed walls.

Remus understood that Mad-Eye's house had not been a charmer before but this was chaos.

"Well?" Kingsley spoke, his wand out as he examined every detail. Remus had his wand lowered as he touched the damages done, "what you got?"

"Nothing much," Remus replied quietly, the tip of his fingers touching damaged doorframe that once held the door, "you?"

"Me neither. There was a fight; a struggle, that much we all know," Kingsley said in his deep voice, his wand now skimming over the shattered pieces of a chair, "but then again, I wouldn't think Mad-Eye Moody to go down without one."

Remus chuckled bitterly. He was thinking along the line of Nymphadora. Of course Mad-Eye would fight back but who was he fighting? Nymphadora? Remus would hate to know the result of that tussle. If Nymphadora triumph over Mad-Eye, Remus knew she would never forgive herself. _Merlin knows she'd beat herself up for Emmeline's death already._

Then another possibility presented itself to Remus.

"Kingsley," Remus paused, hesitating. The Auror looked up and Remus met his eye.

"You're thinking…the same thing I am…" Kingsley sighed, "you-know-who may have been here…" Kingsley looked away, "The wards are gone, and the place destroyed, no better proof,"

Remus nodded stiffly. If their speculation was right, not only was Mad-Eye in a life-threatening situation now, they'd just missed their one and, probably, only chance in saving Nymphadora. That thought sickened him. He missed her dearly and worried for her, everyday; it was tiring.

"Remus," Kingsley placed a hand on his shoulder, startling Remus. He shot Remus a sympathetic look, "maybe you should get back, rest. You look like an Inferi,"

Remus grimaced. _That bad?_ "I already am a monster. Can't get any worst," He chuckled bitterly. Kingsley rolled his eyes and Remus continued, "I can't, Kingsley. I can't rest when she's out there."

"Tonks is a tough one. She'll be fine." Kingsley patted his shoulder once more before turning to head into the rooms, leaving Remus alone. He listened to Kingsley's footsteps in the other room for a while before sighing and visually skimming the rubble nearby that appears to be the remains of a dresser.

Remus frowned, spotting a yellowed and faded picture amongst its midst. Although aware he shouldn't be invading on Mad-Eye's privacy, Remus' curious Marauder could not be satiated otherwise. He bent over and picked up the fragile looking piece of photograph.

It was obviously not framed, judging by the fold lines on the photo, but kept away, hidden from sight. Despite its folded state, Remus noticed it was well taken care of; it was not crumpled and its edges kept sharp.

His frown deepened as he looked at the photograph, blowing rubble dust away from its surface.

In the picture was Mad-Eye himself. He was younger, with lesser scars on his face. The chunk of his nose was still missing but he still had both eyes intact. Mad-Eye's face was lit up in an uncharacteristic smile, widening as he glanced at the girl in his arms. Remus glimpsed a flash of pride and love flit across Mad-Eye's face.

The girl, whom Mad-Eye was carrying on his hips, was smiling toothily at the camera. She looked no older than 3 to 4. However, it wasn't the presence of the girl that surprised Remus, it was how she looked. The young girl was strikingly beautiful. She had straight black hair and an air of arrogance around her in the way she smiled; even at such a young age.

Her resemblance to Bellatrix, and by extension, Nymphadora as well, was striking; it made Remus cringe. The girl had light brown eyes, however, and seemed distracted in the photo as she turned away from the camera abruptly, looking over Mad-Eye's shoulder and into the garden behind them.

Remus stared as the two moved in the photos. The more Remus looked, the more his eyes were drawn to the young girl. She looked painfully like Nymphadora when she was younger although Nymphadora always sported bubblegum pink hair. Furthermore, she had grey eyes. Remus knew her natural hair colour was mousy brown, like Andromeda; not black fortunately which would make her a split image of her deranged Aunt.

The more absorbed Remus was in the little girl, the more he wondered and questioned her background. Who is she? How is she related to Mad-Eye? Could she be a girl he saved on an Auror mission? What could explain the resemblance to-?

"Remus?" Kingsley spoke and Remus looked up hurriedly to glimpse Kingsley coming out from the room. Instantly, Remus shoved the photo carefully in his pocket. He didn't know what made him did it but something told him to keep this to himself. The Auror, clad in blue Auror robes, appeared around the corner, grasping his wand, "Have you found anything else?"

Remus shrugged convincingly, "nothing important," He said, and Kingsley paused momentarily, looking at Remus, "You?"

"Nothing as well," Kingsley replied, glancing around the house. Being here for too long has put them both on the edge, "Seemed like whoever it was didn't enter the bedrooms, they are untouched."

Remus nodded, "Let's go report this to Albus,"

Kingsley agreed and they both apparated with a crack.

* * *

"Nothing," Kingsley spoke on both their behalf as Dumbledore let them into his office. It has been a while since Remus set foot in here. The last time was in which he taught at Hogwarts, "The place is wrecked but apart from that, there is no one there,"

"No clue as to who took them?" Albus tented his wrinkled fingers.

Remus raised both brows.

"Yes, Remus. I believe they were taken," Dumbledore faced Remus with a twinkle in his eyes behind his half-moon spectacles, "I do not believe Nymphadora had brought Alastor to Voldemort,"

Remus nodded numbly, finding nothing else to say. His disappointment at a missed opportunity was great and he could only think of one person he would want speak to, or rather yell at, at the moment; Severus Snape.

Nymphadora was gone and if Snape had found the heart in himself earlier on to tell the Order so that they could intercept, Nymphadora would be safe within the Order by now. At that thought, Remus couldn't help but grit his teeth, clenching his fist in anger towards the Potion Master.

"I assure you, Severus has gone to find out what he can about Nymphadora's whereabouts as we speak," Dumbledore spoke again, as if reading Remus' thoughts, "before Severus finds out what he can, we should not act rashly."

Kingsley nodded and Remus mimicked the nod stiffly.

"If there is nothing else, Kingsley, you may leave," Dumbledore smiled kindly. Kingsley nodded and mumbled a soft farewell before leaving. Just as Remus stood to leave as well, Dumbledore spoke up again, "Remus, I have something to discuss with you if that is alright."

Remus forced himself back into the chair. Inwardly, funnily enough, Remus was dying to extract the photograph from his pocket to look at it; that little girl that held a painful resemblance to Nymphadora.

"Remus, I am aware if I am asking too much but the Order desperately needs your assistance in this matter," Dumbledore began and this had Remus' full attention. Albus Dumbledore was not a man who would beat around the bush, "I would like to request you to infiltrate the werewolf camp."

Remus stiffened visibly in his chair, maintaining eye contact with the headmaster, "You want alliance with werewolves?"

Dumbledore nodded slowly, "Voldemort has been recruiting wizards and witches alike but those are not all he is interested in. Word reached the Order that he is attempting to win over magical creatures as well."

"Dementors…" Remus mumbled in realisation. Dumbledore sighed regretfully before nodded in affirmative.

"I am aware that obtaining the alliance of all the werewolves would be an impossible task. However, even the littlest support we have from the werewolves within the ranks would prove invaluable to the Order." Dumbledore explained with a furrow between his thick white brows.

Without missing a beat, Remus found himself nodding in understanding, his mouth forming the words, "I understand. I will do it. When will you need me to go?"

* * *

Nymphadora would kill him.

She would for throwing his life away like this. Remus hadn't forgotten how anxious and worried she had been when she had read his file; information about when he had lived with them for a while. He knew he was being reckless but Remus just could not miss out on this opportunity to contribute to the Order after so many weeks of pointless night duty.

Dumbledore had told him that his departure would have to be as soon as possible; preferably tomorrow. Word has it that Voldemort already had a solid alliance with the werewolves thus Remus' mission would be to break or weaken it as best as he could. Considering his history, Remus felt it wouldn't be difficult with the experience but Greyback would undoubtedly be suspicious of Remus' return after his abrupt departure years ago.

The possibility that Remus would suffer from isolation was discussed and Dumbledore assured Remus that he need not report back on a daily basis; once a month would suffice. They agreed that patronus would be the ideal case and if not, owls. However, it need not be said that Remus could not be caught communicating with the wizarding world. Greyback despised werewolves who mingled among wizards and witches.

Remus sighed as he stepped out of the castle and walked towards the gates to apparate. He pulled out the photo again and stared down at it.

The girl had the same smile Nymphadora used to have. Remus considered the fact that this could be Nymphadora but dismissed the idea when he recalled Sirius mentioning the fact that she would never morph her eyes under any circumstances; excluding the time she needed them for a disguise.

Remus found himself chuckling lightly as he glimpsed a white bandage around the girl's knee that he hadn't noticed before. It peeked over the bottom of the photo as she shifted to look over Mad-Eye's shoulder. He swallowed, watching once more as Mad-Eye beamed at the girl before placing the photo back into his pocket and retrieving his wand in exchange. Remus apparated.

**The next day… **

"You're going back there?" Sirius asked for the fourth time, tailing Remus all over his room closely as he packed a meagre number of things to be brought along.

"Yes," Remus replied patiently, closing the worn duffle bag and straightening out to look Sirius in the eye. After finally letting himself out of his shell, Sirius was now talking again; his whole being focused on getting Nymphadora back. However, any small trigger to remind him of his undoing towards his beloved baby cousin, Sirius would almost instantly revert back to his old self, drinking away his sorrow.

"What do you mean 'yes'?" Sirius spat, "You can't go back there! You hate them!" Remus refused to reply but stubbornly avert Sirius' gaze. Sirius crossed his arms across his chest, "you know my baby Cuz will never agree to that if she were her,"

Remus cringed, "She's not here, is she?" He refused to meet Sirius' eyes in case he saw hurt in them.

"Is that your way of letting out some steam, Moony? Is that a werewolf thing? A love for thrill?" Sirius demanded, "A few days ago and you were lecturing me about throwing my life away and brooding all day!"

"I'm not throwing my life away," Remus muttered and he spoke the truth but Remus couldn't deny that he wasn't being reckless.

"Moony…" Sirius sighed, "Don't go. You'll regret it…"

Remus steeled his gaze and looked into Sirius' grey eyes, wincing at he spotted the many similarities they had to Nymphadora's, "I got a feeling I won't," He slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Moony-" Sirius started to protest only to have Remus walk briskly towards the door and down the steps, "Moony! Don't!" He yelled as he ran after his best friend; frantic now. Just as Remus flung open the door and started to step out, Sirius grabbed him around his upper arm.

"Just let me be of use this once, Padfoot," Remus locked a hard stare with Sirius.

Sirius winced, "and who will let me?" He shot back.

"Sirius," Remus muttered, "Please,"

A moment passed in absolute silence before Sirius' grip on him loosened.

"Come back alive, mate," Sirius muttered. Remus nodded stiffly before patting Sirius on the shoulder once. Without a moment to lose, Remus disapparated.

Remus winced inwardly as he trampled dried twigs and leaves flat, causing quite a racket. Among the wizarding community, the noise Remus was making would be considered the minimal but among the werewolves; Remus might as well have announced his presence by banging pots and pans.

Dumbledore had given the vague coordinates of the werewolf camp which the Order had been keeping an eye on. It stung Remus to realise how detached from the Order ongoing he had become.

Remus jumped; startled as he thought he felt something behind him. Adjusting his grip on his wand to make it firmer, he kept his eyes and ears open for anything.

The full moon as fast approaching again and it helped Remus with his sharpened senses. He spun around quickly just in time to see a man pounce onto him. Remus barely had time to point his wand in the right direction much less utter the spell before both of them fell to the dirt.

The man lay on his wand arm, pinning it down before Remus could shove him off. A slight tussle ensued as Remus fought to get the man off of him but others quickly joined the fight, holding Remus down.

"Get him up you dogs!" A man who was out of Remus' line of sight barked at them. At the order, the men, who Remus noted to be werewolves from their physical appearance, hauled him to his feet.

"Hilliard?" Remus frowned.

"Lupin," Hilliard pursed his lips. He was bare-chested, as most of the others were. He had deep dark eyes and thick brows. Since the last time Remus had seen him, Hilliard now sported a beard that partly concealed his thin lips and Remus noticed a long scar across his left cheek, "What are you doing here?"

Remus didn't reply.

"Finally come running back with the tail in between your legs when them wizards took a few whacks at ya?" Hilliard scoffed, his eyes narrowing as he looked Remus up and down, "Still, they have been kind to you. Properly clothed aren't you?"

Remus merely stared. He remembered his last time in the camp with Hilliard. They hadn't been enemies but they weren't friends either.

"What's wrong with you?" Hilliard lunged forward, grasping Remus roughly by his chin, "Gone mute have you?"

"I want a word with Greyback," Remus replied, his voice firm.

Hilliard chuckled, "Greyback ain't got time for you, Lupin. You're pissin' yourself," His amusement quelled all of a sudden as he leaned forward, hissing, "and I remember the last time you left," He brought up a finger and trailed the long scar along his cheek.

"I didn't do that to you," Remus growled. He found himself getting increasingly antsy with another wolf at such close proximity.

"No, you didn't," Hilliard hissed, "except, Greyback was furious. Well, you know how he is on a bad night during the moon. He injured most, killed some. Then again, how would dear nice Lupin know? He has always been the pet dog at Greyback's feet." Remus glared, daring him to continue, "But now, you're not and I'm looking forward to the next moon; I wonder what Greyback would do to you."

Remus snarled but his insides froze. Greyback, the pack's Alpha was a formidable wolf and no other wolf would even dream of opposing the Alpha; whether on the full moon or not. In any fight, Greyback would come out the victor, leaving the other wolf bleeding or already dead.

Hilliard walked briskly deeper into the forest, smirking over his shoulder at Remus, "come on, bring him you dogs!"

To be continued…

**A/N: Mad-Eye's words mirrored his own in Chapter 27, in the talk with Lupin! Hope you got it! Feel free to ask if you don't! And the names, I pulled it out of the air; so no deep mysteries to be uncovered there! **

**A big thank you to all my reviewers! You guys are great – Sallz, Lupinesence, Tonks23, Furionknight, Sarah15, tt crews, paardenlaura and SevIlyRemuDoraAlways**

**Sarah15: Sorry if I spoiled Christmas! Wanted to update but…that was just not possible ;) Apologies once again! **

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! And if you have the time, click on that blue underlined link at the bottom of the page that says 'review this chapter'! And if you don't, well, a smiley face will also be good! :) **


	30. Chapter 30: Camp

Chapter 30: Camp

"Might not be the best but this might help the swelling,"

Remus looked up in time to see his 'bunkmate' throw him a soaked cloth. When he caught it, he realised it had been soaked with freezing water.

"Thanks," Remus grimaced he pressed the cold cloth the bruise on his face.

It has been days since Remus arrived at the camp. Apparently, Dumbledore was right; this was the camp Greyback seemed to spend the most time at, though the reasons remained a mystery to Remus. He had spent the last few days here getting treated no better than in the wizarding world; perhaps worst.

The werewolves regarded him with suspicion and shunned him. Greyback had granted Remus an audience only to stand by to watch the ritual in which they accept him into their pack once again; a brutal beating by any werewolf brave enough to do so. Remus found himself hardly able to stand after that horrible ordeal. He had escaped death with a broken rib and a twisted wrist. That was more than enough to show Remus exactly what kind of welcome he would have here among the wolves.

He had buried his wand close to the camp, to keep it within his reach and yet away from Greyback. He didn't want the Alpha to snap it; like what he had done to the others with wands.

From Remus' first war experience, he felt he should keep his wand on him but Greyback had done the routine check on him; stripping him down to the skin and having his werewolves check the fabric before returning it to him. Wolfsbane was forbidden. Any wolf who took it automatically becomes the Omega of the pack and apart from that, Greyback promised worst punishments for it.

When asked by the Alpha about it; knowing he owned a wand, Remus claimed he had lost it during the last fight with the wizards which had caused him to flee to the pack. Greyback seemed to believe his lie but remained cautious of him.

Remus had already got into a fight twice since the time he arrived, excluding his 'welcome ceremony'. Around the camp, with the approaching full moon, the werewolves were all jittery and easily enraged at the slightest annoyance; it being mainly Remus' presence.

The wolves viewed Remus as weak and despised him. Some looked upon him with suspicious eyes, some spat on the very ground he stood on and others pretended he didn't exist. The female of the pack acted oblivious to him mostly but Remus had had more curious than hateful glances from them. He knew he could find out much if he talked to them but Remus kept his distance, not wanting to provoke any hostile and possessive male.

The full moon was tonight and Remus winced at the thought of undergoing the transformation with his new wounds when his old ones have not yet healed, but he would live through it, just as he had all these years.

"Nasty wounds there,"

Remus looked up to find his young bunkmate flinching as Remus pressed the cloth to an ugly large bruise on his rib. It had just healed when a large bulky werewolf had aimed a good hard kick at it again. His bunkmate, Heiser, was only about 20 years old, no older than Tonks was. He had chestnut brown hair, his eyes a darker shade of brown, broad shoulders and a tall built.

Like the other werewolves, Heiser had many scars. During his time here, Remus had come to notice that the werewolves tended to band into cliques unknowingly during their free time in the day when they are not hunting. The teenagers in the pack banded together and compared their scars, boasting about who had the nastiest one of all. The older men sat around, hunting if they felt like it. The women mostly tended to the werewolf children.

It was the teenagers who Remus had his eyes set upon. They were ambitious and had hopes for the future, given their youth. Their loyalty towards Greyback and thus Voldemort seemed the most uncertain. The females of the pack, Remus considered but didn't want to risk his cover should one of them tell Greyback out of fear.

Remus was appalled to find that there were werewolf infants here as well. Remus could not, for the life of him, imagine how the little baby could survive the moon. He had attempted to get closer on more than one occasion but the females, perhaps governed by their wolf instincts absolutely disallowed unfamiliar males to get close to the babies; keeping them safe.

Remus kept his distance, respecting them. In the camp, a small but probably deep cave was set aside for the infants. It was here did he always found himself observing them from a distance. This was also the area where children normally played at, steering clear of Greyback; who always roamed around the other side of camp.

Remus liked children. He had had his share of teaching in Harry's third year and Remus was convinced he had finally found what he wouldn't mind doing for the rest of his life if he were given a chance to do so.

Eager to get close to the young man but not wanting to evoke any suspicion, Remus asked the question often asked amongst them, "When were you bitten, Heiser?"

The young man flinched; they were rarely addressed by their names in the camp but Remus felt it was appropriate for the question. Heiser eventually replying, hesitantly, "last year," Heiser gazed at the forest floor that their tent was set upon before looking up, "You?"

"Bitten at 5," Remus smiled bitterly.

Heiser whistled, "Then it's safe to say you're one of oldest amongst us lot. Does it get any easier?"

Remus was quiet for a while, wondering what would be the most diplomatic answer. With a sigh, he lowered the cloth, "No, it doesn't," Remus stood stiffly and walked out of their tent.

The camp was quiet for obvious reasons. Everyone, even the poor children, was worn out by the approaching moon. Remus glanced around and saw only a few werewolves up and about, most of them on watch duty. Then he caught sight of that small worn house. At the entrance, about 4 werewolves stood at attention and 2 more were constantly circling the house, checking its windows.

Remus sighed, frustrated. He had been planning to sneak into it but the high security Greyback placed around it made it almost impossible for anyone to stand within a metre radius of the place. More than once a day, Remus saw Greyback entering the house and coming out of it only about an hour later.

Sometimes, he left with a smirk on his face. Other time, he looked ready to kill and once, Remus saw Greyback grimacing, as if in pain as he limped to his tent.

What he saw only made Remus more impatient to find out what was in that house. As far as Remus knew, apart from Greyback, no one entered the house and no one else left it either. Although, Remus often saw the guards entering with some food which made him feel that there may be prisoners but he couldn't be sure.

"Lupin!" Remus, his instincts at its peak, spun around so quickly that he thought he heard his rib crack a little. Wincing, he brought up a hand to soothe his bruised rib as he looked up to see Greyback walking towards him. The Alpha was wearing black robe with a worn shirt and tattered jeans.

"Greyback," Remus inclined his chin in acknowledgement and watched as Greyback studied him with narrowed and suspicious eyes.

"Full moon tonight," He smirked to reveal rows of yellowed teeth. Remus only nodded cautiously, "I'd expect you to know this but I doubt you would still remember, mixing around with the wizards like you're one of them," Greyback spat. Remus frowned, puzzled, "Mating season, Lupin,"

Remus froze. He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed to get rid of it but to no avail. The last time Remus had been in this camp as Beta, during mating season, the wolves who do not have one would instinctively seek out a mate. The Alpha had made it such that they were all allowed, and encouraged, to mate, as opposed to what their instincts told them; that only the Alpha was allowed to mate. During this time, Greyback allowed them more freedom in the sense that they are free to find a mate outside of the pack. However, by morning, they were all required to return.

"Under normal circumstances, outcast, such as yourself, aren't allowed to mate," Greyback sneered. Remus bit his tongue as he very nearly retorted that he didn't want a mate but that would only get himself into more trouble than he already was in, "But I will allow you a mate," Greyback's lips twisted into something similar to a smile.

Remus didn't nod but stood there numbly. He knew he would never get a mate tonight. In his heart; as well as the wolf's, he already had one. The wolf saved her once on an impulse of unexplained possessiveness over her from another wolf but the bloodlust proved overwhelming. The wolf spent the night waiting for his chance to have her after she had scrambled up a tree. Afterwards, his human heart fell in love with her; the wolf thus regarding her as his mate and wolves mate for life.

Remus watched as Greyback strode away, smirking. Having known Greyback for a while, Remus knew the Alpha was not granting him a mercy by giving him the rights to a mate; he was nailing Remus down to the pack forever by the bond between mates. If he mated with a female from this pack, he would be subconsciously obliged to be wherever she was and would never betray Greyback and the pack.

How Remus was going to get out of this situation, he didn't know.

Remus knew that mated werewolves can't have children. But still, every time at mating season, the werewolves take a mate. Greyback encouraged fostering such bonds; it strengthens his pack.

"Lucky there, Lupin,"

Remus spun around quickly. Behind Remus stood a lanky man, dressed in what the others in the camp wore; rags. He had long blond hair which was tied back in a ponytail. His face, hair and bare torso were coated in mud. Remus recognised him to be one of the men guarding the mysterious house.

"No newcomer in the camp is ever granted rights to mate till after a year," He grunted, his beady eyes running a quick assessment over Remus, "but you're not new, are you?"

Remus frowned but didn't say much.

He jerked his chin in the general direction of the tents, "heard from the others you used to be Beta,"

"That was a long time ago," Remus replied calmly, shoving his hands in his pocket to keep them warm, "were you here long?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

"Nuh uh," The man shook his head, sending filthy stray stands of blonde hair into his face, "been here for years. Not Beta yet, but Greyback trusts me," He gloated.

Remus nodded, appearing to be listening intently, "I can tell," He smirked and Remus knew this was his opportunity, "He got you guarding the house," Remus let his hoarse voice drop to a whisper.

The man turned his torso to face Remus, watching him with a different eye now and Remus knew he had stepped over an invisible line, "everyone gets curious eventually Lupin but you caught on fast, don't you?"

Remus shrugged, "It's right there. Could never have missed it," He gestured casually and the man grunted in acknowledgement.

"Probably, many are too scared to ask about it. Greyback keep close tabs,"

"What is there?" Remus wondered, "Gold?"

The man let out raucous laughter before smoothing back his hair, still smirking, "gold," He snorted, muttering to himself, "something much more valuable than that,"

Remus' interest was peaked but he was careful not to abuse this golden opportunity, "what could be more valuable than money?"

The man leaned towards Remus and whispered, "Greyback has given us specific instructions to keep it to ourselves. So I suggest you keep your head down and your tail between your legs at the moment." He backed away, "wouldn't want to be getting into trouble again, would you?" He grinned, revealing rows of decayed teeth.

Remus sighed, letting out a huff as he went back to his tent. A glance at the house told him that it was still guarded.

He trudged through ankle high mud before reaching his tent. Heiser was cuddled up on his cot, asleep. Remus quietly made his way to his own, lying gingerly on his back. He carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out the photograph.

Remus didn't know why but he brought it with him to the camp. His eyes fixed on the girl's face. It was the only thing that resembled Nymphadora to look at. Her high cheek bones and that haughty look that seem born into the girl's face made his heart ache.

He missed her dearly and there was a hollow space in his heart that was impossible to ignore. They hadn't had any word from her in nearly months. Remus dreaded to think about her possible capture, along with Mad-Eye Moody, under the mercy of Lord Voldemort.

The day went in a blur and before Remus knew it, the moon was drawing closer. He had long since slipped out of the tent along with his bunkmate. Heiser looked ill and Remus thought he didn't look any better either.

The werewolves in the camp were tired but some seemed extremely eager for the night to come. They talked, joked and even laughed around the fire they had going. Remus didn't even try to join in as Heiser did. Instead, Remus wandered off closer to the mysterious house.

He watched with narrowed eyes as a man he recognised from camp lumbered towards the door of the house with plate of mash that looked less than appetizing, even from a distance. Remus frowned as the man knelt by the door and unlocked a small hatch at the bottom of the door with a key. The moment it was opened, he slid the plate of food in quickly, almost frantic, before slamming it shut and locking it once more.

If this display of obvious fear did anything, it intrigued Remus even more; close to the point where he would just recklessly charge his way in to find out. He yearned to find out something of use to the Order. At the moment, Remus could not provide anything far from their daily habits around the camp for Greyback's little trips out of camp still remained a mystery to Remus.

Remus watched as the guards at the house slipped away; they too had to transform for the night after all.

At that moment, Remus cursed himself. It hadn't occurred to him that the most information he was most probable to gather was when the others; including Greyback, was distracted by wolf instincts such as to hunt or in this case, to mate on the Alpha's order. However, as Remus had neglected to consume Wolfsbane, he would be in control as much as the other werewolves that night. Furthermore, upon transformation back to human, Remus would most probably forget most of what happened that night.

The ache in his bones pulled him from his reverie abruptly and Remus jogged towards the fire to await instructions or cue from the others.

He had left the photo safely tucked away among his other belongings in the tent; not wanting it ripped to shreds.

He trailed after the other males quietly as they walked into the forest and away from he tents. With an unseen signal, the group of male spreaded out to go to their own preferred spot for the transformation. Remus walked further away from the others. He was the stranger within the pack now. The last thing he wanted was to be mauled by the wolves when they recognise a scent of an unfamiliar wolf.

He approached a boulder overran with moss that was situated by a short and twisted tree. There, he gingerly removed his clothes, leaving them on the boulder. He crouched down, hugging his knees, the cold biting into his bare skin. When he was settled, trying not to touch his bruises, Remus waited sullenly for the moon to grasp him and twist him into a monster he loathed.

He thought of Nymphadora. Remus smiled at his first thought; her brightly coloured ever-changing hair. He loved it, whatever colour it took, even bright green which she wore sometimes to express disgust. The thought of her pale heart shaped face made his hands tremble with yearning to hold it with a tenderness he never thought a monster like him was capable of. Her bright grey eyes; an exact replica of Sirius' and how it would shift ever so slightly to portray fury or contentment. Her button nose which made him chuckle as he recalled the feeling of it against his neck when she nuzzled her face into his skin in her sleep.

_And her lips-_

Remus felt the pull of the moon from his chest. It knocked the wind out of him. He grunted in pain as he tried to get to his feet.

_Her soft lips. She would press them to the soft spot below his ear. _

He hunched over, clutching his stomach as the pain intensified. Remus bit his lips, refusing to cry out as bones in his legs snapped with a sickening sound. It stretched and reformed in the blink of an eye.

_Then her lips parted, releasing sweet warm breath onto his skin and Remus shivered._

Remus could feel his face changing, his body sprouting fur, instantly keeping out the cold. His hands stretched forward to cushion his fall as his legs backed out under him. The moment his hands hit the mud, they were paws.

_Her tongue would lash out between her teeth and Remus could feel the tip of it just skimming across his skin. _I love you_, she would say and Remus would fall in love with her all over again. _

The wolf whimpered. It was wounded. It limped, feeling pain tear apart what was left of its senses. It needed to settle. The wolf settled by the tree, waiting for the pain to subside a little. It sniffed at the queer soft object draped over the boulder it slightly leant on and snorted.

In a distance, a howl tore apart the night. Its ears pricked at the sound that was almost foreign to it. The wolf couldn't recall the last time it had heard such a beautiful sound; that could only be coming from another of its kind. Pain forgotten, it leaped to its feet, sniffing the air.

There were more than one, it realised with barely concealed delight. It threw back its head and howled with all its heart; howling to the moon, howling to its kind, howling for the queer emptiness it felt.

It was cautious as it began to stalk forward, towards the scent of its kind. Its padded paws barely made a sound against the forest floor for it knew where to tread upon that would ensure its presence was not known.

Just as it approached a part in the bushes, the wolf hesitated. It glimpsed out with one dark greenish eye from amongst the thick bush. There were 3 wolves; all sniffing each other curiously but not attacking. The wolf knew they recognised each other for they would not act as such if otherwise. It felt loneliness strike it in the middle, almost painfully.

Always cautious but yearning for company, the wolf slipped through the narrow part in the bushes, its skinny body barely brushing against the bush. Twigs rub at its fur coat but it hardly bothered itself with them; its attention trained upon the three wolves that, likewise, had turned their attention on it.

The wolf let out a half bark, half whimper. The three wolves growled, revealing fangs that when together, could maul the lone wolf easily.

The wolf was torn. It was uncomfortable and truly disturbed when having dominance flaunted over it but survival instinct soon worn over and the wolf backed off, eyeing each of the three wolves.

Suddenly, there was a loud bark and all four of the wolves jumped, turning towards the noise just in time to see a large dark grey wolf leaped out of the trees and landed amidst them, sitting back on its haunches, its body erect and proud.

The wolf felt the Alpha dominance instantly and even as it loathed doing so, it lowered itself to the ground, flattening its ears. The other wolves chuffed and approached the Alpha, crouching so close to the ground that their belly rubbed against the forest floor. They began licking the Alpha below its muzzle.

However, the wolf lack of participation in the demonstration of its dominance didn't go unnoticed by the Alpha. Without warning, the Alpha bounded over to the wolf. It backed away, wary but not daring to attack or attempt to intimidate the Alpha. The Alpha growled, approaching it, almost tauntingly before finally clamping painfully on the wolf's muzzle; teeth bared.

The wolf refused to whimper or cower, instead, waiting stonily for the Alpha to bark its satisfaction before sauntering off, the other wolves obediently at its heel. At the Alpha's sharp bark of command towards it, the wolf jolted to its feet and followed reluctantly.

The wolf was elated and curious to find more wolves around. They were getting playful and energetic, unlike their normal selves; the wolf, although stranger to them, knew this for it too felt the effects that the mating seasons brought. However, none of the she-wolves it glimpsed caught its interest. Deep down, the wolf felt strange yearning but it didn't fall to any of those here. It felt a tugging, of the bond that already existed, at its heart; a bond between mates.

The wolf didn't have an image of its mate, as all wolves didn't of their mates, but it had a memory of a sweet scent that will lead it.

The wolf threw its head back, sniffing the air subtly as the other male wolves started choosing their mates.

It felt a warm touch of another's muzzle at its side and yelped, startled. The wolf withdrew, loping away. It adopted a wide offensive stance, baring its teeth, a low and intimidating growl emitting from deep within its throat. By his side was a young she-wolf. At its hostile response, the she-wolf backed away cautiously. It was slender and had shaggy black hair. Curious, the wolf sniffed and snarled instantly, drawing away upon registering the unfamiliar musky scent of mud and grass that filled its nostrils. The scent was not one that pleased the wolf; it wasn't the scent of its mate.

The she-wolf snorted, as if annoyed and stalked away. The wolf was not disheartened; it didn't care for that she-wolf. The wind changed direction and the wolf sniffed the air. It brought a scent of sweat, mud, smoke and blood. However, all these fail to distract the wolf from distinguishing one faint scent of vanilla mixed with lilac.

Joy almost led it to leap high into the air and take flight but it was not in its nature to act as such; but the human's, whom the emotion it shared. It snorted in annoyance but nonetheless, it felt the exhilaration the scent brought. The wolf allowed its snout to lead the way, sniffing the air and following the direction of its source.

It stalked through the pack of wolves, oblivious to mating wolves around him or the gestures of courtship extended to it by she-wolves. It ignored the watchful stares of its Alpha upon its pack. The wolf knew the Alpha noticed its queer behaviour among others; however, the Alpha didn't give chase, occupied with its own mate.

The wolf left the pack eventually, treading carefully among the mud and dried leaves. It limped for a long time, reluctant to break into a run despite its eagerness due to its wounds that stabbed at its body at every step.

The wolf glanced to its side as it glimpsed two stray wolves nibbling at each others' coats in the bushes. A strange despair filled it. The wolf chuffed, taking wider strides. It will mate if its current mate had perished; however, the wolf knew it was acting upon the insistence of the human that its mate was _not dead_. Thus the wolf didn't felt the impulse to find a new mate; it will not do so.

As long as its mate remained alive, it will remain loyal. The wolf barked fiercely, breaking into a painful but steady race; straining against its bruised muscles on its thighs. Its paws digging crudely into the mud to propel it forward; racing faster with each passing second.

Upon registering an overpowering odour of smoke and sweat, it halted; trying to digest the queer sight.

It had come upon a small clearing where the floor was stepped on so often that grass hardly grew here anymore. Furthermore, there were many white structures everywhere, its tips fluttering in the wind; one of them making the wolf yelped and leap aside as it brushed against its coat.

Curious, it leaped forward in one quick movement and caught the tip of the fabric between its teeth and jerked back. With a loud ripping sound, the fabric fell apart. The wolf cocked its head to one side before dropping the limp fabric between its teeth. The wind blew again and it caught the scent again, stronger this time.

It abandoned all curiosity and raced towards its source, eager. Unknowingly, it approached a house by its solid wooden side, almost colliding into it.

The wolf was puzzled. It sniffed the air, brought his snout closer to the wood and sniffed subtly. The scent was strong.

It cautiously brought up a paw and upon contact with the hard wood, the wolf leaped back as if scalded. All was quiet.

When safety was established, the wolf approached the wall again. It sniffed. Its mate was so close now. The wolf pressed its side against the wall, pushing with all its might but the wood hardly creaked.

Abandoning the attempt, the wolf left the wall, padding around the house. When it came to the door, which looked different from the rest of the house, it pressed the top of its head against it, willing it to collapse with brute strength but to no avail. Racing back to the portion of the wall which held the most concentrated scent, the wolf pressed itself as close to it as possible, pawing away the sand. To its dismay, the house had a base, enclosing it completely with not even a gap between its walls and the floor.

In a moment of desperation, the wolf reared back on its hind legs, ignoring the pain shooting up its thighs. Resting its paws on the wooden wall of the house, it clawed frantically at the wood, all the while yapping in frustration. Apart from a few deep scratches, it remained intact.

The wolf fell back on all fours, pressing its head on the wall and pushing. It was puzzled. It could smell its mate but _why wouldn't she return these gestures? Could she not pick up its scent?_

Suddenly, there was a dull knocking from the inside. The wolf jumped away from the wall, startled.

_Thump!_

_Thump! _

Silence.

The wolf stood by the wall, unmoving as it pricked its ears. It could hear movement within. Then more sounds before silence fell on the cold night. The wolf could smell its mate's scent, so close, it could almost taste it.

Frustrated and with the scent still burning in his nostril, the wolf threw its head back for the second time that night and let loose a howl; so full of yearning and misery, it made the ones who listened shiver.

It barked, throwing its body against the solid wall, balking at the jarring impact. It leaped back nimbly and threw itself against the wall again. Again. Again, and again. Finally, it yelped and collapsed on the dirt by the wall. Its chest heaving from the effort, noisy ragged breathing filled the silent night. Its shoulder was bruised and its eye bloody, as a splinter caught it above the eye.

The darkest time of the night found the wolf cuddled up by the side of the house, its head rested on its right paw, with the tip of its snout almost touching the mud. Its shoulder throbbed constantly but its left paw still dug languidly at the small trench it already made at the base of the house. Its eyes remained wide open, its ears always listening. It blinked away the blood that dribbled down to its eye, letting it dye its fur a dark crimson.

Its side was pressed up firmly against the wall of the house. Where its mate's scent was strongest, the wolf situated its head; taking in the euphoric dose of the never-ending sweet scent occasionally.

It whimpered, hearing joyful yapping of wolves in courtship as the wind blew towards the house.

Resting its head on the side of the house, the wolf closed its eyes and slept, feeling unnatural cold cut right through its thick two layer of fur and chilled its bones.

It howled.

_To be continued…_

**A/N: Hello! This chapter was all Remus and practically no Tonks but I hope you enjoyed it all the same! I deliberated, as a few of you might have noticed the awkwardness, between using 'he' or 'it' to address the wolf but went with 'it' eventually. I felt it defined the differences between Remus and the wolf, and yet…they are both very much the same! (That does not make any sense but it's the only I can think up to explain it)**

**I apologise in advance if there were some confusion in terms of the way I address wolf-Remus. Feel free to ask and I will clear up that particular portion for you and post it in the following chapter under A/N!**

**Regarding the late update, I apologise! I was recently addicted on reading 'A Song of Ice and Fire' and watching 'Game of Thrones'! If you haven't checked it out, please do! It's amazing!**

**And to my awesome reviewers, you guys inspire every chapter here! Thank you for your words and smiles! (: My thanks go out to Professor Pang, Naina15, , tt crews, MAD4moony7, HammersNStrings, LoopyLuna13, Furionknight, my smiley reviewer who did not leave a name (:, Tonks23, Lupinesence, Sarah15, paardenlaura and my first reviewer for chapter 29 who didn't leave a name!**

**Naina15: Thank you so much! I'm so so glad they aren't OOC! Hehe, no spoilers for you! Sorry!**

**Tt crews: No action yet but plenty of abuse for Lupin! Haha! Sorry if it disappoints! Just in case you were a bit turned around, Lupin was sent to send back information about the wolves' movement and recruit werewolves, not sent after Moody (they have no idea where Moody and Tonks are). Haha, yeah, Severus would once again come up with a dead end!**

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**Please review this chapter! Once again, for the readers short on time, smileys are welcomed! :) **


	31. Chapter 31: Live

**Special mention: This chapter is for HammersNStrings for not forgetting this story or me for that matter! And reminding me about all the poor waiting readers out there! (: **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 31: Live

"Wake up dog,"

Remus was jolted awake as he was given a vicious kick to the rib with the toe of a boot. He groaned; his torso ringing with pain, his voice muffled into the mud. The moon had not been kind. He ached everywhere.

Squinting, Remus glimpsed Hilliard looming over him, a smirk on his lips. His guard was up. With little or no thought for modesty, Remus struggled to stand. Around him were a dozen men, all dressed in their rags. He studied each of their faces; the burly one with a deep scar across his face was glaring at him.

"You got nerves, I'd give you that," Hilliard spat at Remus' bare feet.

Remus frowned, opening his mouth to speak but a voice rang above all others, "Get away," Greyback emerged as the crowd parted to let him past. His lips twisted into an angry snarl. The Alpha yanked Remus towards him before the aching man could react; leaning in closer and looking at Remus with murder in his dark brown eyes. Without any preamble, Remus was backhanded square in the face. He fell unceremoniously into the dirt, his head ringing.

From his nose, blood began to flow rapidly. Remus wrinkled his brows as he felt a tingle on his brow. Blood slithered its way down the contours of his face. Irritated and in more than a little pain, Remus blinked away the blood and scrambled up to his feet unsteadily; his pride wounded.

It was then did Remus realise what he had done.

He was currently sprawled beside the wood of the house that he had wanted to break into.

"What were you doing?" Greyback roared, kicking Remus in the gut as he made to stand. It knocked the wind out of Remus, leaving him once again against the mud, winded and out of breath, "how dare you go near that house," Greyback leaned over and hissed, his sour breath was overwhelming. Remus wanted to retaliate but thought better of it. His shoulder hurt with a burning ache and he was greatly outnumbered.

Instead, Remus tilted his head back and looked the Alpha in the eye, unafraid.

"I know," Greyback whispered, "you could be a spy," Remus tensed but didn't let it show, "or, you could be a pathetic dog, finally learning where you truly belonged,"

Remus clenched his fists into the mud, resisting the urge to spray dirt in the Alpha's face and hit him senseless. He grinded his teeth and kept in his temper, swallowing his pride.

Suddenly, Greyback brought back a fist and caught it in Remus' cheek swiftly. He fell back but refuse to even groan as pain shot through his face. Starburst exploded around his vision. He spluttered, choking on blood. He dug his fingers into the mud as the pack roared with laughter.

"Watch yourself," Greyback hissed before turning away from him, "Take him,"

Remus started to get to his feet again only to feel two men grab him around both arm and dragged him away as he struggled to stand. He tugged against them but they were stronger. Together, they dragged him into the woods.

"Let me go!" Remus growled, shoving them off in a fit of anger. One of them stumbled back, the other letting go. They were both bigger than he was, broader in the shoulders with larger biceps but Remus had his magic and he knew they knew next to nothing about it; Remus drew his strength from that knowledge.

The one with slits for eyes and a heavily scarred chest spoke, "leave him," He turned away and walked back to camp but the other, with shaggy brown hair and thick unkempt beard, stood his ground, glaring at Remus. Remus stared back at him. He could feel his legs trembling but eventually the man turned and stomped back to camp before Remus could collapse.

When they were both out of sight, Remus doubled over, hugging his throbbing ribs. Tasting metal in his mouth, he spat into the grass to see red. He pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger before gingerly straightening out. Suddenly conscious of his attire, or lack thereof, Remus stumbled through the bushes and found his clothes draped over the boulder as he left it.

It was damp from the night but the cold fabric brought relief to his aching body. As he was tugging his arm through the arm hole of his shirt, he groaned. Remus glanced at his shoulder.

A large and ugly purplish bruise was spread wide over his shoulder, the middle portion of it so dark that it was almost black. Remus grimaced. It was normal to get bruises after the moon; it could be a result of the breaking and reforming of bones where sometimes, the joints hurt themselves while reforming. However, the look of this bruise puzzled him. Remus knew his bruises and cuts and this wasn't something he normally saw due to the moon.

He prodded it hesitantly only to withdraw it, wincing. With an irritated huff, Remus tugged his shirt on and trudged back to camp.

All over the camp, men and women were seen in pairs, talking and interacting in the most intimate manner that made Remus look away. Remus knew, sometimes, the feelings one had in human form or in wolf form remained through the transformation. He wondered idly what happened during the moon; how had he fared through mating season.

Did his wolf not find a suitable mate and wandered off to sleep in the camp instead? Remus wondered as he squatted by a puddle to splash cold water in his face.

He caught his own reflection.

His complexion was pale and sickly, his eyes were surrounded by deep dark eye rings and his cheek was hollowed thin. Along his chin and cheek, rough stubble was also growing. His left cheekbone had a bruise forming where Greyback had punched him and his cheek swelled slightly in the imprint of a hand where the Alpha had slapped him.

Blood dripped from his face and into the puddle. Remus watched as ripples disrupted the clear surface of his reflection, the water now tainted with a crimson droplet. Above his left eye, a deep cut stretched from above his left eyebrow, dragging across to just at his eyelid; above his eye. Where the cut dug at his eye brow; it was deepest and blood seeped out from raw flesh. He noticed his left eye was also subconsciously left half opened due to the cut.

_Another scar. _Remus touched it stoically, his hand coming away thick with blood. He washed it in the puddle before splashing more on his face to wash away dirt and blood.

He had more of those than he cared to count but the number didn't take away the sting of having one more to disfigure him further. He already had one across his face; from his now bruised left cheekbone to his chin. Remus remembered the night he had almost tore his own face off as a young wolf; angry and frustrated at being locked up probably.

As he walked back to his tent, Nymphadora's lovely heart shaped face swam into his thoughts. He smiled. From her eyes to her lips, she was perfect. The thought of him standing by her filled him with disgust but he can't stay away; he was drawn to her, he wanted to love her and always be there; even if it's just to keep her safe.

And now, here he was and she was elsewhere; somewhere, hurting, probably crying, and probably d-

_No._

Remus pursed his lips against the thought.

_She is not dead. She can't be... _

* * *

Tonks' eyes snapped open abruptly with not the faintest trace of sleep in them. The side of cheek was pressed up against Mad-Eye's robe. She shifted stiffly from him, wincing as her back throbbed where Greyback had dug his knee into.

Mad-Eye grunted as he woke too, his one brown eye opening and glancing around their surrounding once before turning to her.

"How're you feeling?" He asked gruffly, his hand touching her mousy brown hair. Since their captivity, Tonks couldn't help but noticed the increased affection he showed her; the care, that in the past, Mad-Eye would've concealed easily with rough shouts, sharp barking or even shoves. Her head ached where Greyback had grabbed a clump of it to yank her head back.

"Good," She replied, her voice cracked, hardly above a mutter, "you?"

Mad-Eye dropped his hand, "Alive," He glanced away to the corner where the plate of foul smelling food was still left untouched.

Without warning, Tonks broke down into tears. Sobs wracked her thin petite frame and her hands trembled as she wiped them off angrily. She felt his arm pull her towards him and Tonks let him.

Of all the tortures Bellatrix and the Dark Lord had put her to, Tonks had never broken down and yet, Greyback was another matter altogether. In merely the past few days, Tonks had lost count of the amount of threats and torture Greyback had performed. They made her tremble in fear at the thought.

She hated how weak she was being but this was beyond what Tonks felt she could take. In merely the past few days, Tonks had had gashes and bruises more than she had at her Aunts' and Mad-Eye…

Hot brands had found their way onto his skin, burning it down till it blackened and bled. A broken arm was the least of his concern. Boiling oil had been set to dribble onto his hands, making the wrinkled skin raw and horribly knitted together to form ugly burnt scars.

Tonks had removed the splinter and cleansed his wound herself with a couple of tricks she had learnt with Voldemort but healing it was beyond her without her wand. Once, she made a deep cut that left him bleeding for a day by accident as her wandless magic went awry. Soon, however, the wound closed itself, leaving a scar.

Greyback had not asked them of anything but Tonks knew it wouldn't be long now. He went an extra mile to demonstrate what truly awaits Mad-Eye if she did not do his bidding and it had worked.

Now, Tonks would do anything he asked of her.

She felt Mad-Eye pat her on her back gently as she sniffed the last of her fears, "He won't touch you again," Tonks tensed, the fist that was holding his shirt clutched the fabric firmer.

"I don't want to talk about it," She replied stiffly, withdrawing from his embrace.

"Then I'm not talking about it," He rid her off the tear track on her face with his index finger. Tonks could see the raw tormented skin on his finger in the corner of her vision and her courage faded.

Silence filled their prison.

"I heard them talking," Tonks spoke thickly.

"I did too," Mad-Eye replied, averting her eyes.

Tonks looked for a moment before sitting a little straighter, "Mad-Eye, I-"

"They are wolves out there, Nymphadora," Mad-Eye cut her off, looking her dead in the eye now and Tonks suddenly wished he didn't. When he did, she could see the concern he had for her, the motive behind his scolding. And thus, Tonks couldn't bring herself to rebuke him with a smart remark or to loathe him for forbidding her, "Lupin or not, he is a wolf last night and he would savage you just as Greyback have and will,"

"I love him," Tonks replied firmly, "He loves me,"

"And his wolf loves the smell of your flesh, the taste of your warm blood on his tongue," Mad-Eye wrapped his hand around her arm firmly; "Do you ever listen to me? No matter who a werewolf was, when it is a wolf, it would see nothing more of you than its next meal,"

For a moment, Tonks was stumped. She recalled how Remus had saved her from the other wolf but also how he gave chase and waited under the tree for her; for his opportunity to fill his stomach.

"If he is truly out there, he could help us,"

Mad-Eye grunted his affirmative but Tonks knew they were both thinking of how it was ever possible when Greyback kept such a close eye on them.

They were both well aware of the guards he placed outside. Sometimes, he came in on his own but other times, he brought in his guards that held both of them down while Greyback taunted her. On Mad-Eye's part, the man hardly screamed and never pleaded for mercy; all Greyback had after Mad-Eye's first taste of the hot brand was more verbal japes from the old Auror. But Nymphadora knew it hurts him; she sees it in his eyes at night as he struggles to shift, in his discomfort when his wounds troubled him.

In the dead of the night, after jumping in fright at every howl or bark, Tonks heard loud banging on the other side of the wall she leant on. It was accompanied with a howl, some barks and more banging; as if the wolf was trying to get to them.

Initially, Tonks was terrified at the prospect of a wolf so near, but she thought of Remus; her love, who was a wolf. Every full moon since she fell in love with him, her thoughts were rarely far from him during this time. At this thought, she felt comfort that he was now within the proximity of his touch, save for a wall in between.

Tonks knew how foolish she was being. _What were the chances of Remus being here?_ It was too good for Tonks to even think on it. Nonetheless, with irrational hope still left and with Remus in her mind, she had hammered on the wall with her fists as a reply. The banging on the other side had stopped abruptly but before she knew it, Mad-Eye had his hand around her wrist and another cupped over her mouth.

She turned to him in protest to see the hardened look in his eye that impressed the idea of no debate to her firmly. Tonks kept quiet but spent the night huddled by Mad-Eye, thinking of Remus. The wolf out there was quiet eventually and stopped trying but Tonks knew it was still out there. There were regular sounds of scrapping on sand and howls. It sounded so miserable that Tonks huddled closer to Mad-Eye and wished for sleep to come.

"The next time Greyback comes, I will keep him occupied and you have to get his wand out of his left back pocket," Mad-Eye's low raspy voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"What?" Tonks frowned, asking stupidly, "Occupied…how do you intend to do that?" She deliberated on the question but Mad-Eye refused to meet her eye or to reply her question.

"When you do get his wand, I want you to apparate. They don't have anti apparition wards set up here. Apparating to Hogwarts would be safe enough. Find Albus and-"

"What about you?" Tonks interrupted; her voice cracking.

"Nymphadora, we can't both escape. I'll just have to nick one from the other werewolves later whenever I can. Besides, I'm without a leg, remember? I would be useless even if I did manage to apparate," Tonks could feel her eyes watering and hated herself for it. Tears came easily to her now; she couldn't recall the last time she was strong. A red and raw hand cupped over the side of her head gently, "Remember what I taught you…"

"Constant vigilance," She whispered along with him, eliciting a slight smile from her grim mentor.

"You were always the cheeky one," Mad-Eye chided in a low tone.

Tonks chuckled, "you meant smart,"

"If you are smart," Mad-Eye paused, growing solemn once more, "you will do as I say and get yourself out of here. You can't let Greyback use you-"

Footsteps approached and Mad-Eye cut off into silence as they both listened. Tonks staggered as Mad-Eye caught her arm in a vice-like grip and pulled her closer to him. The sound of the padlock opening was deafening in their small prison. The small hatch opened and sunlight flooded in, casting a warm glow across the filthy floor. Without a word, a plate of food and water was shoved in.

The hatch slammed shut, enveloping them in semi-darkness again.

Mad-Eye's grip on her didn't loosen as he listened for a while longer; hearing footsteps and some whispering. The footsteps didn't fade and Tonks knew the werewolves guarding their door were back in duty. Finally, Mad-Eye released her.

"Fetch the plate over," Mad-Eye gestured. Tonks got up dutifully and lumbered weakly to the tray, picking it up and bringing it over as he instructed. She had not had anything to eat in days. Both Mentor and Mentee had had a silent agreement to not consume anything for fear of poison. She placed the tray beside Mad-Eye, "we would have to eat, or we will be counting our own death by starvation."

She cringed as the stench of the food hit her full in the face; it smelt sour and foul. Tonks had not the slightest idea as to what they gave them, although, her closest guess had been stalled meat.

Tonks watched gingerly as Mad-Eye picked up the twisted wooden bowl with stiff fingers and sniffed suspiciously at the water inside. It looked clear but one can never be too careful. Just as Tonks was about to open her mouth to ask how were they going to test the food before consuming them, Mad-Eye tipped back his head and took a gulp of the water.

Tonks choked on her words and she lunged forward but Mad-Eye had already lowered the bowl; which was still half filled with water. Some spilled onto his robes and the front of his vest as she attempted to shove it away.

"What are you doing?" Tonks cried, appalled.

Mad-Eye ignored her, tasting the water on his tongue before leaning over and taking another small sip. Time passed and Tonks watched in horror as Mad-Eye remained quiet, waiting.

About, seemingly, 5 minutes passed before Mad-Eye turned to her, handing her the bowl, "drink," He pushed it into her hands as she stared, dumbstruck, "drink, before you die of thirst," Mad-Eye growled, very nearly tipping the water into her mouth himself.

Tonks relented and took a sip which turned into hurried gulps. The water tasted cool and sweet on her tongue. She could feel some dripping down her chin and onto the front of her clothes but she couldn't find it in her to care. She was parched. Since they have abstained from eating any of the food they provided, they have gotten to consuming as much rain water as they could; which dripped from the roof.

Tonks could've sworn she heard a low chuckle before Mad-Eye said, "Slowly, before you choke to death," Tonks lowered the bowl, wiping her chin sheepishly on the back of her sleeve.

"You should really stop talking about death," she frowned, handing him the bowl with its remaining water. Tonks didn't wait for his reply, sitting down and curling up by Mad-Eye with her head on his arm.

"Don't you want some more?" Mad-Eye asked. She shook her head, her eyes closed. Silence filled the cell as Mad-Eye drank and set the empty bowl on the plate. Tonks felt him shift.

"I'm not eating that," She announced, her eyes still closed. Mad-Eye froze, "It smells foul," Tonks found herself complaining and Mad-Eye sighed, sitting back to lean against the wall. Tonks continued, "And I _forbid_ you to experiment the food with yourself,"

He snorted at her choice of words. Furious, Tonks withdrew, her eyelids flying open.

"Don't you get it?" She sat up and away from Mad-Eye, "You can't die! I don't what I'd do…"

"You will live," Mad-Eye fixed her with an intent stare with his remaining one brown eye, "D'you hear me?" He demanded fiercely, "No matter what happens to me, you must live. You must use what you are taught for the good,"

Tonks was terrified, with both that idea and Mad-Eye. Tears welled up in her eyes and her voice shaky, "You have no idea…what you're asking,"

"I do!" He grabbed her roughly around her arms, "No matter what happens, even if it means watching me bleed to my death, remember what we are fighting for. Don't ever lose sight of that!"

Tonks shook her head, her lips quivering, "I'd rather die!"

"Nymphadora, listen!" He shook her roughly, something akin to murder in his eye, "You can make a difference in this war. You-know-who has made a terrible mistake, trusting you. You don't know what you can do. He taught you himself!"

"_You_ taught me," Tonks shot back, "you taught me never to leave a man behind; self-sacrificing-"

"To what end now? Huh?" Mad-Eye took her face in his hands, willing her to see sense, "I also taught you duty, to the Order; to our cause! Like you'd learn any of what I tell you," He spat, venom in his voice she had never heard before, letting her go.

Tonks sniffed as Mad-Eye sat back, staring at the plate of stalled meat,

"I'm not strong enough for this…" She hated herself for whimpering but that seemed what she was only capable of at the moment.

* * *

Remus stirred, restless. His cot was damp from his sweat as he woke. He sat up, wiping hastily at his forehead with a sleeve. He froze as his dream came back to him.

He heard her.

He was a wolf in his dream, running; eager. However, his hopes were dashed and Remus found himself facing a wall. He threw himself countless times against it but it didn't yield and then he knew she was right there. However, he woke before anything else could he done. Even in his dreams, he bled and hurt from his wounds.

Even in his dreams, he didn't see her, didn't touch her, couldn't comfort her.

Remus sighed heavily, reaching over gingerly and drew out the photo that was safety tucked away in his rucksack. And there she was. Tonks was in the girl's every feature and Remus sought comfort from such.

"Lupin," Heiser grunted as he sat up from his cot, "what you got there?" He prodded his thigh, wincing.

"Nothing," Remus shook his head, shrugging.

"Something from a girl?" Heiser smirked.

Remus couldn't help but chuckle bitterly, "an old man like me…no,"

"Oh yeah? I heard girls fancy the professor type,"

"Yes…" Remus deliberated before continuing, "But not the werewolf type,"

Heiser's smile faded. He averted Remus' eyes and glanced around on the ground before standing from his cot gingerly, "yeah…tell me about it…" And with that, Heiser left the tent, perhaps in search of better company. That was fine by Remus. Although Heiser's company was more than satisfactory; as least no injuries and pain came with that, Remus preferred being left alone to his thoughts.

Just as Remus' eyes resumed their eager sight of the younger version of Nymphadora look-alike, a bright flash of light sent him to his feet, his free hand flying towards his wand at his pocket. But he found nothing there but torn fabric.

"She's here…" The pale white smoke lingered, forming naught before vanishing into thin air. _She's here…_

* * *

Tonks opened her eyes abruptly. She hadn't a clue what had woken her.

"Mad-Eye?" She muttered as she made to sit up from her position against his shoulder, "did you hear-"

Her voice was cut off as the door flew opened abruptly. Tonks and Mad-Eye were still squinting from the sudden light when she saw Greyback looming over her. He leant over and took her by her upper arm, yanking her to her feet. She yelped, glimpsing Mad-Eye lunging for her but falling short as his stump made him clumsy.

Greyback snarled; dragging her to the door as the werewolves guarding the door took Mad-Eye by his arms, stilling his futile attempts to give chase. She struggled, flailing uselessly against Greyback; for all the good that did her…

"Nymphadora," She could see her mentor straightening himself from the ground, shouting after them, "Remember what I said! _Remember_!"

"Shut up, old man," A werewolf stepped in front of Mad-Eye, pushing him back.

"Let me go!" Tonks growled as Greyback grasped her hair in a fist and yanked her head back to meet his eye.

There was murder in his eyes and it terrified Tonks.

A sound of metal on metal caught Tonks' attention. She turned away from Greyback just in time to see a werewolf unsheathe a long dagger from his belt.

The werewolf approached Greyback and Tonks made to squirm but they didn't go for the slash as she thought they would. Without a word, the dagger was handed over, hilt first, and Tonks felt the cold steel brush her skin; making her shiver. Greyback grasped the dagger, letting her go but before Tonks could bolt for the door, left ajar, the other werewolf had both hands on her arms.

Greyback advanced towards Mad-Eye who met the werewolf with cold loathing. The Alpha towered over her mentor and sight terrified Tonks.

"No…" Their objective began to lay itself out before her as Greyback snarled, lunging forward. He grasped Mad-Eye by the hair, yanking back his head just as he did with Tonks, exposing Mad-Eye's throat, "No!" Tonks struggled and screamed. The voice didn't sound like hers.

"You sent that patronus," Greyback whispered into Mad-Eye's ear, "Where did you send it?"

Mad-Eye turned and met Greyback's eye, his reply never coming.

In one smooth movement, Nymphadora watched as Greyback opened her mentor's throat from ear to ear.

_To be continued…_

**A/N: I'm alive! I apologise for the long wait! Regrettably, life caught up to me after all. From the last time I posted, I already had half this chapter up and the other half refuse to find its way into my packed schedule. I sincerely apologise to the readers whom I have tormented! **

**On about the story! This is a major development and could be traumatising for some, or most but it has to be done! I am not yet fully satisfied with this chapter and wishes to make some changes but I don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. So I have decided to update first and do any editing later; if needed. Do not hesitate to alert me to any mistakes found here! **

**A major thanks to the reviewers of last chapter! You guys rock! Thanks go to mp22mp22, LoopyLuna13, Professor Pang, ajlover, Furionknight, Tonks23, Sarah15, paardenlaura, tt crews, Lupinesence and HammersNStrings. **

**Tt crews: I hope your question about Tonks' meaning of the knock is answered here in Tonks' perspective but if it's not, feel free to leave a review telling me so or even PM me! **

**Sarah15: Sorry about the long wait! I don't have a fixed schedule about my story. It's mostly updated once a week when I am free to do so but if I am not…well, this wait was pretty terrible, so… I apologise once again for the wait! **

* * *

**Don't forget to leave me a review! :) **


	32. Chapter 32: Smile

**This chapter is for Quirky Del who left me many reviews on the course of reading the story, incredibly quickly, from February and in the process, being the 200th reviewer! **

Chapter 32: Smile

They were gone.

She couldn't remember when she had fallen to her knees or when they had left. She couldn't feel the dull ache in her back that had been bothering her for days or the sting on her face where she had been struck. She could only feel the hollow emptiness. She couldn't get out of it; she didn't want to.

A watery groan shattered the silence and sliced right through her.

She remembered looking but not seeing; not hurting.

Then he looked at her; reached for her, willing her to come to him. She went.

She could feel the warmth of his hand as she clasped it. He gasped and gurgled as he struggled to speak. His mouth opened as if to say something but only blood bubbled out. She stared, her eyes devoid of emotions, her body numbed.

Only when the tips of warm fingers brushed her cheek feebly, did she know she was crying. There was no sob; not even a whimper. As he registered her tears, the brown eye, filled with steel determination and courage, melted away to fear. She quietly watched a tear, just one, to mirror her own, slid down his cheek. She followed its trail with her eyes. It fell into the pool of blood, melding with crimson.

She looked up but the eye was now glazed over, forever frozen in fear. However, her hand remained firmly and safely enclosed in his.

Silently, she inched forward, curling up into a ball on the floor. She tugged his limp arm over her shoulder as she leaned back into him, seeking comfort in the warmth.

Blood was inching its way down closer to his chest, where her head was. She could smell it, feel it seep into her hair. She didn't pay it any mind. Instead, she closed her eyes, wishing for sleep.

* * *

He came to a halt just before the broken fence. Eyeing the splinters with disdain, Sirius shifted back. In a second, he was standing on two legs again. Without missing a beat, he marched into the house, sparing a glance at the dead vines in the front porch. All the while, he muttered grudgingly to himself.

Despite the express orders from Dumbledore to remain at Grimmauld place, the loud absence of his cousin had already sunk too deep for him to pretend not to feel it. For the past few weeks, Sirius had spend it collecting whatever sparse information the Order had gathered about Tonks' disappearance, as well as Mad-Eye's.

To make matters worst, Remus was sent away to spend time in that hellhole in the empty hope that whatever he could find out from the werewolves would make the Order seem in a better position. Truth was, everyone's morale have already dropped to its minimal. Apart from the fact that they were unable to neither uncover nor stop any death eaters' activities, they were loosing their Order members one by one.

Apparently, the absence of Mad-Eye Moody was the last draw. The meetings were attended with grim expression that made Sirius want to drown himself in a vat of firewhiskey. The news that came with these dreary meetings pushed him to dash his head into the table.

Today, as Kingsley slipped away back to the ministry; probably painstakingly building on the lie that explains Tonks' absence, whatever that was…

Sirius dug his toe into the soft mud in the garden and withdrew his boot to find maroon coloured soil clinging on to the tip of it. He shuddered at the thought of whose blood it might be.

Casting a brief homenum revelio, Sirius strutted into the house. The state of the house was unsettling. Sirius' stomach twisted as he glimpsed the blood on the floor. Swallowing audibly, Sirius hunched over and started on what he came for; search for clues.

Sirius had never been to Mad-Eye's house before but the faded walls and creaking floors told Sirius that this house was not in a state any better before you-know-who broke into it. No matter how Sirius looked, everything was just as Remus and Kingsley had said and reported. There was nothing here to say where they might be.

It wasn't an issue of not trusting them; Sirius reckoned that there were some things he would feel better off to see for himself. The place was a wreck; as reported. There was blood and chaos. Not a trace of his cousin though; not that he was expecting to find Nymphadora in the house.

Sirius wandered into the bedroom. The bed was made. The place was…neat. Sirius gulped. Moody looked unbearably organised. There was not a speck of dust out of place. The clothes were folded and placed away in the dresser. The knick-knacks were stowed away in the drawer by the bed, displayed neatly. As Sirius walked past the mirror, he caught his own reflection.

He looked terrible. He now bore thick unkempt beard, shaggy long hair and Sirius almost could see the stench he must be emitting from his crinkled and filthy clothes. He looked like he lived off the streets. He laughed bitterly before turning away, intending to check the bedside drawers. Then realization made Sirius pause.

_A mirror? _Mad-Eye was the last person Sirius would think to even have a mirror around, much less in his own bedroom. It could've been used to improve his range of sight but the mirror was positioned such that it wouldn't do that.

Unable to stop the sense of paranoia, Sirius approached the mirror, reaching out and running his fingers over the steady brown wooden frame. It didn't feel different from any regular mirror. He ran his fingers on the edge of the frame, looking for even a hint of a lever.

Finding nothing, Sirius raised his wand and considered blowing it to smithereens but he didn't want to damage whatever was hidden by the mirror and besides, he wasn't even sure if there were such a secret compartment here; or if the mirror was merely a switch.

_Maybe a password? _Sirius drummed his fingers on his chin, wondering what password Mad-Eye would install. _Blood perhaps?_ With a shudder, Sirius shook his head. That was too much a Black for the likes of Mad-Eye. _Maybe words?_

Clearing his throat, "Open," Feeling endlessly dense, Sirius sighed, dropping his wand hand to his side. _Maybe his Auror security number?_ He shuffled over to the bedside drawer and found his weathered badge. Flipping it over, he saw the faded carvings of his name and below it, his security number, "1278-M00/I."

The mirror barely twitched.

Sirius grumbled, dumping the badge into the drawer and slamming it shut. For the next hour, Sirius spent it bombarding the mirror with nonsense such as, 'Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody', 'Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks', 'Ministry of Magic is bollocks' and even 'I love Albus Dumbledore'.

He sighed, glaring dejectedly at the mirror. In a heat of anger, Sirius punched it on its frame. He gasped as a loose splinter nicked his knuckle, causing it to bleed. Sirius swore loudly, examining his bleeding knuckle as the mirror wobbled.

"Nymphadora," A gruff voice said, just above a whisper in the room. The tone was almost reprimanding but it had a soft notion to it.

Sirius literally jumped about a foot into the air, glancing around anxiously with his wand out. There was no one. He turned back to the mirror; eyes narrowed his suspicion at it. His blood, which previously coated the frame, was gone.

"Don't call me Nymphadora?" Sirius offered meekly.

The mirror swung out abruptly. Sirius, startled, hopped back agilely, his wand pointed forward.

It nudged the mirror open wider with the tip of his wand and it slide open on its hinge.

Inside, neatly arranged were vials, held upright by a rack made for them. Inside them, they contain memories, each and every one.

* * *

_It is her…_Remus could feel it in his gut. The one who that patronus mentioned was _her_. Apart from that, he had doubts as to where 'here' was. He spent the better part of the day, instead of resting, pondering this mystery. Three words: She is here. Simple and yet, not, at the same time.

His head was pounding.

Greyback had given leave to the werewolves to visit the nearest town to loot, rape and do other unspeakable things. Remus pretended to be part of this party; which will not gain any personal attention from Greyback himself, as Remus noticed the last time they went to town.

Instead, it was led by Hilliard, who, in comparison, was not as bright and sensitive to what was happening around him. As they gathered to leave, Remus slipped off and retrieved his wand before slipping back into the group. They left the pack without further trouble and just as the looting began, Remus apparated.

He had to talk to Dumbledore.

Hogwarts was hardly a place he should be at, in light of what happened here about 3 years ago. Some students would already have graduated but most of them will not have. He lingered at the gate to send a patronus to Dumbledore to alert the headmaster of his arrival.

Dumbledore's reply was almost instantaneous and the gates creaked open, allowing him assess. As he made his way up to the castle, he heard the gates swing shut once more.

The castle was quiet apart from a few students that had no lessons at that time. He kept his head down, not wanting his previous students to recognise him and kick a fuss about his return. In return for his efforts, they hardly spared him a glance.

He muttered the password and stepped on the gargoyle as it sprung to life. As Remus approach the oak door, he could hear voice from within that sounded like Minerva. She sounded agitated and Remus hesitated to knock. Eventually, his marauder side won and he stood by the door quietly.

"We should ask Severus to take further actions before it's-"

"Minerva!" Dumbledore's voice rang over her terse words, "I do take Nymphadora's and Alastor's safety into consideration but forsaking Severus' in the process of finding them should not be the case,"

"But Albus, we don't have a choice in this matter. They have been gone for months now…" McGonagall's voice trailed off, "you don't think you-know-who will-" She paused but Remus didn't need her finish her sentence to hear what she want to say.

"No, I do not think he will kill her," Dumbledore spoke, confident as ever but there was a catch in his voice.

"But?" McGonagall obviously sensed it too; it's not everyday the greatest wizard the world has ever known becomes hesitant.

"It would be an entirely different matter with Alastor…" Dumbledore's voice ended with regret and thick with something Remus had never heard before in his voice; pain, "however, if Nymphadora should resist, I could make no promises for her safety. We have already done what the Order could to keep her safe; even if it means being a spy, just as Severus has been,"

"Albus, what Severus-" She cut herself off again and Remus could almost imagine the headmaster, with his raised hand, stopping her.

"I know what you want to ask Minerva. But what you ask is hardly what I am in a position to tell you. That is entirely Severus' decision to make. But I can assure you, his loyalty is not disputable. He knows what he is to do,"

"I…trust Severus to do what he is instructed to and he is a grown man who has seen more than he should in the First War, but the poor girl will lose her mind. Nymphadora is practically a student just graduated!" McGonagall's voice took a turn higher.

"Nymphadora knows what she is asking for when she answered me Minerva," Dumbledore pauses, "I have looked into her eyes as she answers me and I don't need legilimency to tell me she is hardly a student anymore or a mere cadet Auror just out of training who has not seen enough. She is not the same girl who once ran Hogwarts' hallways to escape detention after planting dungbombs in the Gryffindor common room, just because they beat Hufflepuffs at Quidditch."

Remus could feel a lump, unable to get rid of by swallowing hard, forming in his throat.

He was mildly startled as he heard a soft sniff from McGonagall, "I see her at Order meetings, stronger than she should be. Is that truly what we want to achieve; to forsake her sanity for her safety, for the better good?"

Remus could feel the giant awkward pause, even through a door, in the room as the Headmaster, their leader, hesitated, "I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that, Minerva. But the Order is here for a reason; Tom has to be stopped before the worst happens."

_Even if it means taking a part of Nymphadora's soul…_

From within, Remus could hear the scraping of chair on the concrete floor and he straightened out. He glanced over his attire once more before raising a fist to knock when the door flung open. McGonagall looked startled but she recovers quickly to give him a nod, "Remus,"

He nodded back and she slips past him, leaving the door open. Remus doesn't wait for her to leave before entering the office and closing the door behind him.

"Remus," Dumbledore acknowledges him from behind the desk, "tea?"

Remus nodded numbly as he sat. When the cup was placed in his hands, Remus talked. He told Dumbledore about the camp, what Greyback's routine was to the best of his knowledge and everything else that was too much of a hassle to pen down.

Remus told him about the house and what happens but even as the words left his mouth, Remus knew how inadequate and painfully empty his information was. When he was done, Dumbledore sat back in his chair, thoughtful.

"Have you considered taking Wolfsbane?" Dumbledore peered at Remus over his half-moon spectacles, the amiable looks, which the headmaster always had, in his eyes.

"I did, but I didn't have any and Greyback doesn't want us taking it. He'd rather the moon have thorough hold over every one of us," Remus explained carefully, "Perhaps if I were to take some for next moon, there would be more I can tell you,"

Dumbledore leant forward, tenting his fingers on the desk, "I will have Severus brew them for you and have them sent as soon as possible."

"Thank you," Remus didn't know if keeping his mind during the full moon was a good or bad news.

He hesitated for a moment, information about the mysterious patronus on the tip of his tongue but instead, he glanced down at the crudely blackened fingers, "Are you alright?" He gestured at the headmaster's hand.

Dumbledore hardly glance down, and instead, he half-smiled and gingerly shifted it, "A foolish mistake by a foolish old man," Remus nodded and went silent, "How did you find the opportunity to leave the camp?" Dumbledore asked; his tone light and friendly.

"Greyback often send packs of us into the town. To remind the people," Remus replied; his answer painfully vague but the headmaster nodded anyway.

All the while, Remus could see the knowing twinkle in his eyes and the unspoken apology about the suffering Dumbledore had him gone through; whether because of Nymphadora's disappearance or him acting as a double agent, Remus didn't know.

* * *

Sirius entered Grimmauld Place hesitantly, cringing every time something creaked. As he entered the kitchen, he half expected the whole order to be there, staring at him expectantly. But it was empty, as it has been for a while.

He pulled out the tough leather sack from his pocket and returned it back to normal size before placing it carefully on the table. He grimaced as the vials clinked against each other. Sirius made a dash up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as he could as he passed by his mother's portrait. Sirius was positive Walburga Black had a pensieve and all her things were stored in the attic since the Order moved in.

The attic was dimly lit by a line of sunlight that found its way through a crack in the window and doxy infested curtains.

"Hey Buckbeak," Sirius greeted hastily and bowed as properly as he could in his flustered state. Thankfully, the hippogriff wasn't in an antsy mood today and returned his bow.

"Accio Pensieve," He flourished his wand impatiently and heard a bang to his left. Sirius levitated all other boxes away till he saw the stone basin sitting at the corner. Placing the floating box he had on the floor, he levitated the pensieve and brought it downstairs.

The kitchen was just as he left it. Kreacher, thankfully, was no where in sight, just as Sirius had ordered.

He carefully lifted the metal dish and brought it over to the table. He settled into the chair at the head of the table before opening the bag and picking the vial at the very top.

Emptying it into the pensieve, Sirius plunged his head into it.

All around him was lush greenery that made his inside twist with envy. He was standing at the front of a small house, surrounded by a beautiful garden; the most beautiful Sirius had seen, apart from the one Remus' meticulous mother kept. The fence surrounding the house was painted white and stood neatly, without a piece out of place.

Then the front red door flung open and a man in his 30s stepped out into the garden. He had brown eyes with light brown hair that could almost be called blonde. He had a tall and strong build, set jaws and determined eyes. However, a chunk of his nose was missing.

Then it struck Sirius who this man was. Alastor Moody; in his prime. Sirius almost laughed as said man leaned over and plucked two blue flowers and turned to return back to the house.

Sirius couldn't see Moody's wand anywhere on him, definitely not in his hands. His right held a red crayon and his left held the two small flowers.

Grinning in amusement, Sirius followed the man into the house. They walked pass the cosy living room, with a comfortable couch and even beanbags in the centre of it, and entered the kitchen.

At the table, a small girl, who couldn't have been more than 2 years old, sat in a high chair. In front of her was a large piece of paper with some colouring on it. The table was littered with crayons as well. She looked up expectantly as Moody walks in.

Sirius froze. She was beautiful, even at such a young age, it was palpable the moment Sirius lay his eyes on her. Her cheekbones and black hair especially brought that out. She had large almond shaped brown eyes. Sirius couldn't place where he'd seen the familiar colour.

"Fwowers?" She spoke, her voice high and sweet, coated with the innocence only a girl at such an age could successfully pull off.

"Here they are," Sirius gaped as Moody replied the girl. His gruff and surly tone was now warm and cheerful. Moody sat down in the chair by the girl as he placed the flowers by the paper.

The girl's face lit up and she clapped, dropping the orange crayon, she held, in her lap. In return, Moody smiled; the quirkiest sight Sirius had seen. Sirius had not even been sure he had seen Alastor Moody smirk in his life. Then it struck Sirius where the girl's eyes came from. It was a copy of Moody's own.

"Tank you," She gurgled happily and picked up the blue crayon, adding an out-of-shape flower into the picture by the two stickman. The shorter one had long black hair and the taller one had brown hair. Both of them bore similar brown eyes.

"You're welcome sweetheart," Sirius watched, stunned as Moody leaned over and kissed her hair.

She was oblivious to the meaning of that as she continued colouring.

"Dada," the girl looked up as she picked up the yellow crayon. Sirius froze once again, in sheer shock. He didn't know Moody was married, much less the fact that he had a daughter.

"Yes, Lyra?" Moody leaned over, patiently listening with rapt attention.

"Mama?" She questioned with a frown as she looked down at her picture.

Moody visibly stiffened, "Dada told you, Lyra. Mama has gone away," He replied, his posture still rigid but his voice warm.

"Where?" The girl was insistent as her small hands curled into a fist around the crayon. Sirius raised a brow at the familiar insistence; otherwise known as stubborn.

Moody remained silent.

"Where?" She repeated, carefully pronouncing the foreign word; that she probably just learnt. Her face was turning increasingly red and her fist tightening. Sirius, having a few babysitting experience with his baby cousin, knew the eruption that promises to follow. Even the symptom of jiggling the short legs was similar.

"Lyra…" Moody reached out and placed a hand on her back, his eyes imploring her not to ask anymore but to a child her age, she only saw that he wasn't going to tell her. The girl, predictably, burst into tears. She cried, loudly. Sirius cringed. Nymphadora had cried the exact same way once; for an entirely different reason. Her head was thrown back, her little legs kicking the underside of the table, her fists pressed into the table as if to make it collapse. Her chubby cheeks flushed and her eyes squeezed shut.

Moody reached over, scooping the child into his arms and cradling her to him. The girl, Lyra, leant into her father but her little fist and kicking remained, as well as the tears and sobbing.

"Shh," Moody hushed her gently, patting her back. Sirius was once again, dumbfounded by the gentleness Moody demonstrated on her. With the wittiness that Sirius didn't have while facing a squalling baby, Moody picked up his wand from the counter and promptly summoned coloured smoke from the tips of her wand. Sirius could smell its sweet smell.

Moody directed it above Lyra's head and the girl sniffed, pausing in her bawling as she smelt it. She pulled away and looked up with puffy red eyes to see the pink smoke.

She tentatively reached up and interrupted the smoke with her fingers. It split and went around her fingers. As the smoke turned baby blue, Lyra smiled. It was the second time Sirius saw Moody smile.

To be continued…

**A/N: I've done it again, haven't I? It has been almost a month since the last update. I'm truly truly sorry you guys! I know this chapter is shorter than my usual but it is what I could get out in less than half a day. I hope this chapter would be enough to make up for it. Obviously, I'm still having trouble juggling. So I thought maybe I should ask you guys if you all prefer short snippets and a short wait or a relatively longer chapter but the wait could range from a few weeks to maybe months. Leave me a review about it! **

**A huge thank you to all the reviews left for last chapter, they all make me smile (: Love you guys loads! Thanks goes to Jenny119911, tt crews, LoopyLuna13, Furionknight, HPfollower101, Neveraskquestions, Sarah15, paardenlaura, professor Pang and HammersNStrings! **

**Jenny119911: Thank you so much! About the English, it's fine! I get what you want to say and I think that's more than enough for a review. For the record, it's not as bad as you put it! Thanks so much for the effort! **

**Quirky Del: I'm not sure if you have read the story till this point but I just want to give you a big thanks (in the form of chapters and words here) for the numerous and very vivid reviews you left me! I read all of them and am really excited about what you might think about the story! Thank you! **

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	33. Chapter 33: Standstill

Thanks to HammersNStrings for allowing me to use the character and maybe mutilating it beyond recognition! I sure hope I didn't!

Chapter 33: Standstill

"Dada!"

He practically had to pry open his heavy eyelids just in time to see Lyra running unsteadily to him from the door. She tripped over her own feet but managed not to fall to the floor. She scrambled into his lap, throwing her small arms around his neck.

Moody had just finished a night shift at the Auror Office and decided to take a short break on the couch before going next door to get Lyra. Next thing he knew, he had her in his arms.

Moody looked over Lyra's shoulder to see his kind-faced neighbour standing there with a smile. He still had on his Auror robes but his muggle neighbour didn't seem to take notice of it.

"She misses you," His neighbour spoke with a wider smile.

"Thank you for taking care of her through the night. I hope she wasn't too much trouble," Moody stood stiffly from the couch, cradling Lyra in his arms; who still refused to let go of him.

"She is an angel. It's no trouble at all, I have my little Russell to take care of anyway," With that, the neighbour left the house with a warm goodbye to both Moody and Lyra.

"Dada…" Lyra finally pulled away, her lips twisted into a pout as she toyed with a fray thread on the lapels of his robe, "No leave me," she whined pitifully. In fact, it was so pitiful and she sounded so downright miserable, Moody looked torn. He looked like he had half a mind to quit his job just because she asked.

"Lyra," Moody sighed, "I have to work. Or I wouldn't be able to get you new toys-"

"I wan Dada wid me!" She cried, propping her chin on his shoulder, indignant tears running down her face.

"Baby, you'll have me with you for the rest of the day," He smiled at her but the sulky teary faced girl only managed a pout, "come on, give dada a smile," He stroked her beautiful dark hair but the girl turned away; knowing her request was not met.

Moody sighed inwardly, pulling out his wand. With a small flick of his wand, her black hair turned bright pink; Lyra's most favourite colour apparently. Instantly, her small pouty lips twisted into a toothy grin as she grasped the tail of her hair to have a glimpse.

"You can even spot that colour for the whole day," Moody grinned, seemingly proud with himself for, once again, outwitting his ridiculously intelligent daughter. When Lyra clapped at his latest announcement, laughing; Moody's face twisted into a grimace. He knew he had lost again.

* * *

Remus folded his arms across his chest, his pursed lips concealed by his moustache; for which he was grateful for. It wouldn't do for Greyback to spot his disapproving look amongst the others.

He hardly grimaced as the man howled in pain. In the middle of the ring of werewolves was a young man, sporting dark brown hair but that was all Remus could see from where he was. The poor man was filthy, with blood or mud, Remus didn't think he wanted to know.

Greyback barked a laugh as one of his henchmen dug the toe of his boot into the young man's exposed rib as he rolled over to cough. The man cried out briefly before another sock him in the eye. His head snapped back into the mud, unmoving.

Remus glanced away from the unmoving body, to Greyback. He wouldn't be surprised if the man was beaten to death, it wouldn't be the first time after all. However, Greyback's reaction to each death varies and that would tell Remus quite a lot about the victim.

Greyback was smirking. This man was then surely not one of Greyback's favourite; and by extension, not one whom Remus would be interested in. Since his meeting with Dumbledore, Remus now kept both eyes sharp for anything. Whoever received special attention from Greyback or any of Greyback's closest, received Remus' attention; or harassment.

With a short grunt, Greyback stood from his position on the fallen tree and gestured to his henchmen. They seemed to get the cue and spat once more at the fallen (or dead) man before marching off after Greyback.

With Greyback's departure, the werewolves dispersed back to their tents. A few lingered but none paid the unmoving man any mind. He was lying face down in the mud. Curious and feeling some concern for the young man, Remus approached cautiously.

He didn't have his wand; it was tucked away in his sack in his tent. Remus didn't have time to bury it in the woods as he hastily joined the looting party. Standing right by the man's head, Remus prodded him with the toe of his shoes. He remained unmoving. Grimacing as he leaned over; feeling his shoulder twitch from the last moon, Remus flipped the man over.

The man was younger than Remus first expected. He looked to be in his twenties. Majority of his face was coated in mud and blood was seeping out from his nose which looked broken.

"Hey, wake up," Remus jostled him by his shoulder but the man remained unconscious. Remus knew he shouldn't be probing into this but with his conscience constantly niggling in his chest; Remus threw the man's arm over his shoulder and hoisted him up. Awkwardly, they made it to Remus' tent.

Heiser was lying on his cot as Remus entered, the young man in tow.

"Rescuing casualties now?" Heiser raised an eyebrow. Since the last time Remus commented bitterly about how girls and werewolves don't mix, Heiser had been cold and distant. But as a spy, that was one relationship Remus could live without.

Ignoring his bunkmate, Remus deposited the stone weight of the unconscious man on his cot. Drawing his wand from his sack, Remus leant over and murmured healing spells; concealing his wand from Heiser.

The man stirred and Remus hurriedly tucked away his wand.

"Wh-where?" His speech was slurred but not undecipherable.

"Generally the same place where you passed out," Remus replied in a dry tone, shoving his sack beneath the cot.

"Ah…hell…" The man rubbed his temple, sitting up with a grimace. He shook his head once, blinking. As he looked up at Remus, his eyes narrowed, "You're the… professor, aren't you?"

Remus raised an eyebrow, ignoring the snigger he heard from Heiser behind him, "I would prefer Lupin," He replied. He didn't take offense to being address as such but Remus would rather not be constantly reminded of what he did 3 years ago; to Harry and Sirius.

The man's bruised face broke into a grin, "I'm Bronson, professor-who-I-assumed-have-saved-my-life,"

Remus tried a small smile but was almost certain it twisted into a bitter grimace, "You're very welcome, Bronson."

Bronson stood, wiping his muddy hands on his worn out jeans before extending it in a handshake to Remus. Hesitating just slightly, Remus shook it, meeting Bronson's eye and seeing something he never saw in any of the members of the pack; courage.

* * *

Sirius gasped as the scene around him dissolved and he was thrown back into his wooden chair in the dingy kitchen. He carefully collected the memory back into the vial and tucked it safely into the sack. He glanced at the closed door of the kitchen when he heard soft footsteps. Sirius waited but the footsteps faded, cursing Kreacher, Sirius emptied another memory into the pensieve and rolled his eyes before plunging his face into it.

High pitched giggles pierced the peace of the house and Sirius turned to find the same younger version of Alastor Moody. He was leant over the couch he had sat on in the previous memory. Sirius frowned in puzzlement as he rounded the couch. Sat in the brown worn couch that was too big for her frame was Lyra Moody. She laughed again as Moody shot out and tickled her.

"Out of daddy's chair now!" Normally, a statement of such meaning would have been roared so fiercely such that the poor victim would leap to obey. However, this time, Sirius heard the light teasing quality of Moody's normally gruff voice which seemed to be reserved for his daughter only.

"I don't wanna!" The girl laughed, squirming away from the tickling fingers but remaining rooted in the chair.

Smiling, Moody halted, leaving Lyra breathless. She grinned toothlessly up at her father who smiled back.

"I like Dada's chair," Lyra stated with such seriousness, it was comical. Sirius laughed but Moody merely looked lovingly at her and eventually, he leant over, kissing her over the crown of her head.

"Then you shall have it," He whispered. All of a sudden, he lifted the girl out of said chair with a swoop. Lyra shrieked and laughed as Moody collapsed in the momentarily vacant chair, cradling the girl on his lap and pecking her again on her forehead.

Suddenly, the memory dissolved both Moody and Lyra disappeared. In the blink of an eye, the house was now old and dust was everywhere. But in the middle of the room, stood the Mad-Eye Moody which Sirius knew better; with his wooden leg and magical eye. Sirius followed Moody's line of sight to see Nymphadora Tonks standing in the doorway awkwardly.

"Have a seat," Moody said gruffly before he turned and kicked out a stool at the table for himself.

Sirius watched with bemusement as Tonks shifted from one foot to another before seemingly plucking up her courage, clearing her throat and speaking in a firm voice, "Where-?"

Sirius turned just in time to see Moody stiffen slightly. His magical eye whirled into his head to watch Tonks. After a moment, Moody gestured to the worn brown woolen couch, "there," he replied quietly as he took a seat at the stool and faced Tonks.

Tonks looked mildly uncomfortable before she sat down awkwardly in the chair, her back stiff; constantly vigilant. Her grey eyes darted around the house and at Mad-Eye all at once. Sirius sniggered but Mad-Eye didn't find the scene amusing at all as he watched Nymphadora Tonks. In fact, Sirius then had a glimpse of a flash of the Alastor Moody seemingly lost in the first war.

To be continued…

**A/N: Finally got it up! This is really short…about less than half my usual I think but I wanted to try the update more often but shorter plan (: Tell me what you think! **

**More of Moody this chapter! I think it's about time I wrapped it up. Probably it would drag to about 2-3 chapters before the whole Moody story reveals itself! In the meantime, enjoy the ride! **

**Massive thanks goes to _NymphaTonksLupin, tt crews, Lupinesence, Tonks23, Furionknight, Sarah1996, HammersNStrings and Professor Pang._**

**I love hearing from you guys! The lovely reviews made me smile like an idiot but they are great! **

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	34. Chapter 34: Loss

Chapter 34: Loss

"Why are you following me?"

"Who says I am?"

Remus spun around, watching the boy with a measured expression till he squirmed, reminding Remus, eerily, of his students, "You are," muttered Remus before he resumed his walk to the stream, "and you have been, for a while,"

"You're awfully…guarded," Bronson grinned, walking after Remus with a bounce in his steps, "I mean, of course you have to be, to survive in here," Remus could almost hear the roll of the young man's eyes in the pause, "but I mean, you're very observant. Too observant," Remus stopped at the stream just as Bronson's voice dropped at his last few words.

Remus felt his lips twitch into an amused smile before he knelt by the stream and splashed cold water on his face.

"You don't belong here man," Bronson crossed his arms across his chest.

"Where do I belong?" Remus replied finally as he stood, water dripping from his beard.

They locked eyes and for a moment, Bronson hesitated, "I don't-" He paused before letting out a breath, "not here,"

Remus opened his mouth to retort when they heard a howl. Both of them looked up, all their instincts as a werewolf on the edge. The leader was calling.

Their eyes darting at each other, both of them jogged their way to the middle of the camp to gather.

Remus grunted as he steeled himself while being jostled around the crowd, gathering quickly. All was silent for a moment before Remus saw Greyback. The Alpha stood atop a stump of a tree, gazing down at them with a smirk. His eyes lingered on Remus as he spoke, his voice strong and loud, "Brothers! We've done the bidding of wizards long enough! It's time we made our move!"

Remus stood, unmoving, as the werewolves around him howled or shout in agreement, punching their fists into the air; acting like a pack of animals, till Greyback raised a hand to silence them.

"We will show them! We will not be looked down on! After tonight, they'll know; how we are stronger, faster and better than them!" Greyback roared over the cheers of the pack, "We'll go into town, and take as many of them as we can. Kill if we have to!"

* * *

"We shouldn't do this,"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Moody's attire, or lack thereof, as the memory formed around him. The young Alastor Moody, without the scars, magical eye or wooden leg, lay amongst the sheets, an arm pillowing his head. The thin sheet covered him sufficiently, exposing just a section of his chest where Sirius glimpsed a thick scar peeking out.

"Now you say,"

Sirius' eyes widened as he heard the voice coming out from the closed bathroom. No matter how young she was, he'd recognise it anywhere! He was still gaping as the sound of the shower filled the silence.

"You know that is not what I mean," Moody grumbled.

"What do you mean?" Her voice, raised over the sound of water, asked playfully.

"You should go home,"

Sirius, still stunned, stepped back a few steps, his eyes still wide.

"And what? You know my mother doesn't approve of you." She said as the sound of water running stopped abruptly, "even if you're a pure blood," The door opened and Sirius looked up.

"Bell, you know I don't like it when you talk about blood status like that," Moody muttered impatiently.

"Well, I care about it! And you should too!" In the doorway of the bathroom, stood Bellatrix Black. Her eyes were large and beautiful with innocence. Her dark hair hanging in wet strands. She was dressed in nothing apart from a towel. She looked beautiful.

Moody sighed, before changing the subject, "I won't quit my job,"

Bellatrix raised both eyebrows, "so stop being a whine about eloping," She approached the bed, both hands propped on her hips, "I thought you wanted us to be together,"

"I do," Sirius, will his mouth hanging open, watched as Moody closed his eyes in resignation, "I just think this isn't the best solution-"

"I'm having your baby,"

The silence in the room was palpable.

Sirius buried his face in his hands. Now he knows. The big news of Bella's disappearance immediately after she finished seventh year at Hogwarts had spread throughout the Black family. He had speculated then, that she had run off with some Slytherin boy. He'd never thought…

Moody spoke finally, breaking Sirius' train of thoughts, "That complicates things a bit,"

* * *

"You don't know how noble he is, Alastor!" Bellatrix screeched, willing Moody to understand.

"You speak of him like you _love_ him," Moody shot back. In his arms, he cradled something, or someone, wrapped in a thick blanket, which Sirius had no doubt is Lyra.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, looking more like the Bellatrix that Sirius knew for most of this life, "this is not the time to be jealous,"

"I'm not jealous," Moody glared daggers at her, "I just…don't agree with his sentiments,"

"What is a better world than one without filthy mudbloods to pollute it?" Bellatrix raised her voice. Lyra bawled, punching her little fists into the air in protest. Moody cooed and bounced her in his arms gently.

"Don't talk like that," Moody shot back, "Muggle-borns are just like us-"

"They're nothing like us!" Bellatrix hissed, "We're pure blood! And you don't know how valuable you truly are. Instead, you're siding with them," she sneered.

Moody glared at her for a moment after Lyra quieted down, "I don't want to discuss this with you now," He sat down, "it's late; this is not the time,"

"This is the time, Alastor," Bellatrix hissed angrily, "A war is starting," With that, she thrust out her left arm, yanking up her sleeve roughly to reveal white unblemished skin on her inner arm; save the red and raw Dark Mark.

Moody's eyes widened in horror; instantly recognizing the mark from his job as an Auror. He leaped to his feet, lightning quick and whipped out his wand; its tip trained on her. Lyra bawled, tears streaming down her face as she was jostled.

"You joined him!" Moody seethed; his tone accusing.

"I did," Bellatrix jutted her chin out proudly, "and you should too," she drew her wand.

"You're crazy," With that, Moody spun on the spot. Before Bellatrix could react, he was gone with a pop.

* * *

"Lupin!" Remus turned to find Hilliard smirking as he approached. He spared a glance towards Bronson, who barely flinched as Hilliard planted himself firmly in front of Remus, "Greyback wants to talk to you," His smirk grew.

"Where?" Remus replied coldly. His tolerance was definitely running thin. For the past hour, he had been trying to find opportunity to slip out of camp to warn the Order but Bronson was close on his tail and now this.

"His tent," Hilliard spat, frowning at the contempt in Remus' voice.

Without another word, Remus went briskly.

The tent was dimly lit but Remus could make out Greyback, sitting on his cot. He looked up as Remus entered. Plucking up his courage which he always had, Remus stood just out of Greyback's reach, looking directly into the yellow eyes which he had always feared.

"I sent out four patrols last week," Greyback's deep voice rumbled ominously in his chest, "none of them came back,"

Remus preferred to remain silent on that subject.

"And you know about it," Greyback growled.

Remus pursed his lips thoughtfully, "So does everyone in this camp,"

Greyback smirked, "You're quick, up here, Lupin," He pointed to his temple, "that's what I like about you. But I also know that you don't give a rat's arse about the pack. You serve Dumbledore,"

Remus felt the niggling urge to bolt now but years of practice made him stay, keep calm.

"And since you came, things have been happening," Greyback broke eye contact and stood, "I made you who you are today,"

Remus furrowed his brows, fury burning in his eyes, "what, you mean,"

Greyback snorted, "You haven't changed one bit," He backed off, laughing; "you still hate that stronger, dominant part of you." Abruptly quelling his amusement, Greyback stared at Remus, "But there is nothing I regret less than creating you. Your father did always need a lesson,"

Remus stiffened, his hands balling into fists at his side, "what do you want?"

There was a pause; one which made Remus re-think, if he had crossed the line but eventually Greyback spoke, "I want your full participation tonight,"

* * *

"Alastor!"

Moody froze in the midst of retrieving the pots from the cupboard. Whipping out his wand from the insides of his coat, Moody dashed out of the house.

True to what he heard, there Bellatrix stood; in his front yard. She was flanked by two other men, dressed in black. And at a glimpse, Moody recognised them; Rosier and Lestrange. The ministry had been looking for them for months, along with Bellatrix.

"Where is my daughter?" Bellatrix shrieked at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were wide and there was madness in them that Moody had never known. Her lips twisted into a smirk which encompasses so much hatred and joy in pain.

"You gave her up for your Dark Lord and you want her now?" Moody roared, sparks flying from the tip of his wand.

"Where is she?" Bellatrix demanded, her voice almost a screech; painful to the ear. Without warning, she flicked her wand with such speed. Moody dove out of the way, sprawled out on the grass.

"You have no rights to talk about her!" Moody growled, rising from the ground.

"I am her mother!" Bellatrix glared, "Crucio!" This time, Moody was ready. He side stepped the curse, countering it with another jinx. At her side, Lestrange parried it away swiftly with a shield charm, causing it to reflect off the surface and singe the grass, "where is she?" Bellatrix began searching the house, behind Moody, for her; as if her daughter would appear.

Staring at her blankly, Moody refused to reply.

Shrieking in rage, Moody watched as jets of fire streamed from the tips of her wand, setting the house ablaze. He knew he couldn't stop them even if he tried; they were three and he was one. They had Dark Arts and he only had the experience of less than 10 years to help him.

"My daughter would be about 1 by now…"

Moody's face crumbled in pain at the sight of Bellatrix frantically doing the sums in her head. Sirius knew, in that instant, that Moody still loved this woman.

"_Our_ daughter, Bell," Moody spoke, choking over his words, "I wish she could know her mother. She looked so much like you,"

Bellatrix looked up, eyes wide; eager. But that easily transformed into rage, which consumed her from the inside. Moody could only watch as her dark eyes hardened.

"Give her to me!" Bellatrix shrieked, looking truly deranged.

"Her name is Lyra," Moody pressed on, "and you can have her, if you would let it go. You know this is wrong; what he is asking of you,"

Bellatrix glared at him, "The Dark Lord has proud aspirations for the world! He is saving us all,"

Moody snorted.

"Enough! Give her to me!" Bellatrix stalked forward on unbalanced feet. Moody stared. Immediately, from behind Bellatrix, came a jet of green light; heading straight for Moody. Ducking down to the ground, Moody shot back three curses with precision. Two at Rosier, from which the killing curse came from and one at Bellatrix.

One hit its mark on Rosier's chest as he ducked the other. Bellatrix parried away his curse. All at once, multiple curses came his way and Moody could only do so much to avert them. One hit him square in the face, throwing him back a metre; landing on his back.

As he scrambled up to his feet, he caught a glimpse of Bellatrix before she disapparated. On the same spot, a group of blue robed auror arrived.

Moody turned, looking up at his burning house; a great chunk of his nose blasted off, coating his face in thick crimson blood.

* * *

Remus froze.

His insides turned cold and he felt as if his center of the world had just shifted again.

There she was. In the midst of the werewolves. She was standing in between two of Greyback's henchmen.

A great weight was lifted off his chest but at the same time, Remus' heart broke.

She was drenched from head to toe. Her long black hair hung in wet strands about her pale heart shaped face. Her eyes were cast downwards; lifeless and soulless. Her lips were reduced to a thin straight line. It was as if she had never smiled before. There was a large bruise on the side of her face and also her neck. What tore at Remus' heart most was that half her face was covered in dried blood. He could also see that the same half of her hair was stuck with blood too.

Remus had blocked out Greyback's command for the raid, his focus all on her. She wasn't moving; not even an inch. Something wasn't right.

For months, he had this intuition in his gut that she was right here with him but the rational side of him daren't believe this bold hope. Then the patronus came and Remus' mind could not draw any parallels except to her; but his mind rarely did register anything in relation to anything else apart from her. He had looked and worried and yearned and here she was; a few paces ahead of him.

His fingers twitched uncomfortably from their place in his pockets. He wanted to touch her; caress her cheek and whisper comforts to her. He wanted to see her smile, to know that Tonks once more, to fall in love with her all over again.

It took Remus a whole minute and a few jostling plus a nudge from Bronson to realise that the pack is on the move. He watched, a furrow between his brows and his heart filled with worry, as the burly werewolf get a firm and rough hold on her upper arm, dragging her after the pack.

She went, not willingly but not in protest either. Nymphadora went without a flicker of recognition or self-awareness; it's like she didn't exist.

* * *

"Dada!" Lyra's bawl was deafening but they always made Moody smile. He rushed out into the dark front yard to find his daughter lying face down in the mud again. Kneeling by her, he scooped her into his arms; mud and all, shushing her tears.

"What is it Lyra?" He cooed, bouncing her affectionately.

"I fell!" She bawled, pointing accusingly at the weeds.

"I'm sorry, baby. Dada has not cleared them out this week. Stay away from them for me, can you?" Moody whipped out his wand and cleaned the wound on her knee as she whimpered an affirmative amidst her tears.

Sirius watched as Moody carried her into the house. It has not escape his notice that Moody now had a chunk of his nose missing, though still looking raw. So this was after Bellatrix's attack-

Sirius walked into the house, curious, as he heard Lyra's high pitched scream of exhilaration. True to what he heard, Moody was now tossing his daughter carefully into the air and catching her securely in his arms. Watching with a smile, Sirius followed little Lyra around as she went about her adventures in the living room while Moody went to the kitchen to get dinner ready.

Occasionally, Moody would yell a warning or a reminder to his careless daughter from the kitchen but the rambunctious girl didn't seem to hear.

Suddenly, the memory blurred and Sirius initially thought it was a shift in setting but only the visuals were blurred. He could hear the screams of Lyra; this time of horror. The laughter, the sound of curses soaring through the air. And finally, the flash of green light that was so blinding, Sirius thought it was sent directly to him.

The scene rearranged itself abruptly. The place was in ruins. Two bodies littered the ground closest to Sirius' feet. One face down and another on his back. Sirius didn't recognise either of them. As he walked closer to the house, he almost threw up as he came upon the mangled body of Lyra Moody. Her eyes were open, frozen in horror and fear forever. There were tear streaks on her cheeks and her lips were slightly parted.

Kneeling by her, sobbing his heart out was Alastor Moody. His torso suffered multiple wounds that were still bleeding, his right sleeve completely burnt, as was his arm. As he threw his head back, letting loose a gut wrenching scream, Sirius felt his stomach twist and threaten to throw up its contents. Moody's face was completely covered in blood and where his eye used to be, was an empty hollow socket in his anguish face.

To be continued…

A/N: I sincerely apologise for the absurdly long wait for such a short chapter. I have been ill for the past week and piled with endless work! I rushed this out for the scarred souls out there who can't survive another moment without a dose of pain from this sad chapter! I know things seem down now but, there is promises of a reunion, isn't there? ;) Who said this was going to be an easy AU journey for Tonks? (: Whatever it is, I'm really grateful to people who stuck out with me through the happiness and pain, mostly pain.

Hope you enjoyed it all the same. Thanks goes to echoes1818, Arya Lupin, the frozen cherry, Tonks23, NymphaTonksLupin, Furionknight, tt crews, Lupinesence, Sarah1996, remustonks565, Professor Pang and HammersNStrings!


	35. Chapter 35: Seeing

This chapter is for all my lovely reviewers who literally made me smile upon reading them and for reminding me why I pull long nights to complete these sad chapters time and again (:

Chapter 35: Seeing

Moody limped towards the exit of the Atrium of Ministry of Magic. He looked older than in the last memory. His magical eye, now in place, swirled into the back of his head as he glared around while he made his way to the fireplace nosily. His walking stick wasn't at all making his arrival subtle to anyone in his way. Sirius watched on with bemusement as various wizards and witches scrambled out of his way.

Mad-Eye had always walked grumpily, as if the world owed him; as if everyone did him wrong. And Sirius always thought that amusing or that this old retired Auror was being ridiculous. But now, Sirius knew, and the world did owe him. Alastor Moody had gone through what shouldn't be morally right to make a person go through; and he survived.

Sirius glimpsed the stand selling the daily prophet and read the year, 1980. That would be 5 years since Alastor's daughter death. Sirius could see him glaring around, his magical eye constantly busy; always vigilant and on his guard. Then Moody froze; stopping cold in his hasty steps.

At first, Sirius didn't know what stopped him. Then a piercing cry caught his attention as well as Moody's.

"No! I want ice cream!"

Sirius turned just as Moody did.

Sitting at the waiting bench at the front desk, was Andromeda and Ted. Andromeda wore an exasperated expression while Ted looked bemused. Both of them had their eyes on their daughter; who was sporting black hair. Sirius almost laughed as he saw Nymphadora stomp on the marble floor angrily. He always did love the feisty nature of his baby cousin; but Andromeda didn't share the sentiments.

"Don't be a naughty girl!" Andromeda warned in that stern voice that Sirius knew so well.

"Nooooo!" Nymphadora screeched as she began to bawl.

"Lyra…" Sirius almost stumbled as Moody stomped towards them, going right through Sirius in the process.

"Hey, she's not!" Sirius, loosing himself in the moment, called out instinctively to stop Moody, whatever he was doing. But of course no one heard him. Sighing, Sirius ran to catch up with Mad-Eye's brisk steps despite his wooden leg. Sirius sincerely prayed Andromeda or Ted already know him and wouldn't hex this old Auror for swooping in and picking up Nymphadora or something.

However, Moody did no such thing. He halted behind Nymphadora, looming over her small frame. Almost as if she sensed his presence, Nymphadora spun around and stared up at him; her tears stopping. Instead, her eyes widened in excitement and curiosity and she took in Moody's eye and scarred face.

Sirius anxiously watched Andromeda's puzzled expression as Moody watched her daughter unblinkingly.

"Um, sir?" Ted spoke first, "I'm sorry if my girl's making a racket. She's in that phase,"

Moody looked up and Ted backed a little as he saw Moody's eye. Mad-Eye ignored his reaction and turned his attention back to Tonks.

"Hello," Tonks spoke, his large almond shape eyes taking in everything queer about Moody; which was terribly a lot.

Swallowing, Moody seemed to hesitate before he replied in a serious tone, "Why are you crying?" His voice was scratchy and had a rough quality to it but it wasn't the harsh tone he used to others a lot. Sirius gauged Moody's expression and noted a slight flicker of fear as if the girl would run for the hills upon hearing his voice.

Instead, Nymphadora puffed her chest out and said indignantly, "they won't take me out for ice cream!" She stomped again, as if to emphasise her point.

The look in his remaining eye softening, Moody said, "how about…if you don't get your ice cream straight away, you can wear pink hair for the rest of the day?"

Like clockwork, Nymphadora's eye lit up and her hair turned pink, to Moody's confusion, "can I?"

"You already are doing it darling," Andromeda stepped forth, patting her pink head. She looked and extended a hand for Moody, "Thank you for that. Andromeda Tonks,"

Moody looked up abruptly at that name. Sirius had no doubt Bellatrix told him all about her sisters and that Moody didn't miss the resemblance between them. Mad-Eye glanced down at her hand with his magical eye before nodding stiffly, "Alastor Moody,"

"How did you know she liked pink?" Andromeda withdrew her hand awkwardly with a raised eyebrow but changed the subject instead; perhaps to not appear rude.

Sirius watched Moody's expressionless face as he replied, "I didn't," Without another word, Moody stomped off, this time grudgingly and the click that his wooden leg and walking stick made with the marble floor seems to amplify his grouchy presence.

"Mummy, he's so nice!" Nymphadora squealed. Sirius snorted; Mad-Eye Moody, _nice_…

"Darling, you said that about Sirius too, after he deemed pink as an acceptable colour for hair," Andromeda replied, rolling her eyes as Ted laughed.

* * *

Remus watched in horror as the houses were set ablaze before his eyes. Some of the werewolves were armed with lighted torches, others had knives but the rest simply used their brute strength.

Screams from little children and women were heard as chaos ensued.

Remus, initially, had a close watch on Tonks. She was constantly dragged about by the two werewolves, who were always with her. If not probed or dragged, she didn't seem eager to be going anywhere. Once or twice, Remus had attempted to catch up and go closer but things always caught up to him. Either the guard would spot him and glare at him to back away till he does or Bronson would be beside him, talking endlessly.

Running to the edge of the town, Remus hurriedly sent his patronus on its way. As it vanished into the night, Remus turned and jumped, startled, as he came face to face with Bronson.

"What're you doing?" Bronson demanded.

Remus kept his lips sealed and studied Bronson instead. He began considering his options; confounding the boy, stunning him and make a run for it… Then Remus spotted the blood on the front of his shirt.

"What did you do?" Remus frowned. Bronson glanced down at the blood and averted Remus' eye, "what did you do?" Remus repeated, more forcibly and louder now. _If this boy hurt someone and left that person to die…_ Remus didn't know what came over him as he whipped out his wand on impulse and grabbed Bronson by his arm, "answer me!" He had no idea why he cared what Bronson did but Remus did care. He just can't stand the thought of Greyback destroying the mind another young werewolf who had potential to do better than to kill.

"I helped a girl alright?" Bronson growled in a low tone, glancing at the wand anxiously.

Remus frowned, but this time, puzzled, "why?"

"The same reason you sent that…message out!" Bronson shot back hotly, "You were calling the authorities, aren't you? The… Aurors," He looked at Remus accusingly.

"No," Remus replied truthfully but Bronson snorted.

"And I'm not a werewolf," Bronson snarled.

"I didn't call the Aurors," Remus repeated before walking past Bronson and to the chaos. He intended to help as many people as possible while he could; this mission was over and Remus had no intention to stay. At the moment, the only thing running through his mind was to help these people and get Nymphadora out.

"You liar," Bronson jogged to keep up.

Remus shot two well aimed stunners at the back of the two werewolves, who were hunched over a screaming girl. They fell with a thump, motionless. When Remus turned to Bronson, he had his jaw hanging open.

"You-you killed them," Bronson gaped.

"No I didn't," Remus said, "And I'm not a liar," Grabbing Bronson by the front of his bloodied shirt, he yanked Bronson down to the floor, sending a leg locker to a werewolf who was in pursuit of a screaming child.

Bronson shrugged out of his hold, "Who are you?"

Suddenly, the cracks of apparition filled the vicinity. Remus glanced about to see Kingsley, Hestia and Sturgis rushing towards him.

"Remus!" Bill called and gestured towards the small thatched house; from within, they could hear screams.

Remus nodded and turned to Bronson, clasping his shoulder, "do good to this world Bronson. Not everyone is bad, the world is not how this camp made it to be," With that, Remus rushed off, flinging away collapsed debris hurriedly as Bill dashed into the house.

"Shacklebolt!" Remus grabbed Kingsley around his arm as the Auror passed, "she's here,"

Kingsley frowned, confused as first before the look in Remus' eye confirmed his speculation. With a nod, Kingsley brought down two more werewolves and head in the other direction.

As Remus turned his attention back to the burning house, he felt a sharp hit on the back of his head. He was sent sprawling onto the dirt with a smirking werewolf over him; a large brick in his hands. As he drew back his hand, as if to drop the brick on Remus, Remus hurriedly rolled out of the way, hearing a dull thump as the brick hit the floor.

"Stupefy!" Remus hastily flicked a stunner his way, making a mad dash towards the centre of the chaos. He hoisted a little girl into his arms just as a werewolf dove towards her, a knife in hand.

"Lupin," He snarled.

"Heiser?" Remus frowned. He hardly recognised the teenager, whom he shared a tent with. His torso and face was covered in blood; especially his mouth. He looked to be in frenzy.

"You betrayed us!" Heiser growled before he was abruptly taken down from behind by a stray spell. Remus stood there, stumped as Heiser shook violently in the dirt, fighting death. Finally breaking out his shock, Remus knelt in the dirt, placing the girl down beside him. He flipped the boy over and ripping off the rags to gain better access to his wounds. Multiple bruises and gashes littered his torso. Remus started at his rib, where a broken rib could be seen.

"Heiser, stay awake alright?" Remus moved his wand to the wound at the back of Heiser's neck but when he looked into Heiser's eyes, they were already cold and empty. Remus froze, lowering his wand to his lap. Numbly, he picked up the girl and walked towards the brink of the chaos where Hestia was hunched over a wounded man. He had seen death, but the sting it brought never fades and Remus was sure it never will. As he placed the girl beside Hestia, Remus looked into his tear stained face.

"Is-is that man dead?" She asked, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Her eyes were still fixated on Heiser's unmoving body.

"He went to a better place," Remus thought the voice didn't sound at all like his; calm, so unlike what he is actually feeling.

"That's what mummy said when nana died," the girl replied and turned to sob into Hestia's robe.

Finding nothing else he can say to comfort the girl, Remus stood and walked aimlessly back into the fray.

His heart almost leaped out of his chest as an explosion shook the ground. Remus looked and saw werewolves and townspeople alike, soaring through the air and landing several feet away; their bodies burned and charred.

"No!" An almost inhuman cry filled the air, "stop!"

His legs began moving towards the source of commotion, breaking into a run; desperate to her find her. He needed her, to ground him, to make him feel real, like a person; even if it is just to watch her. Most importantly, Remus knew she needed him more, now.

The scene was startling. Kingsley and Elphias were both frantically dodging stray curses and firing them at the same time. In between them, stood Nymphadora. How someone could appear preciously fragile and strong at the same time, Remus didn't know. But he saw her; her tears, her pain and her indignant rage. All of that transferred into the tip of her wand, firing spells, curses, hexes in every direction. Remus parried away one as it threatened to decapitate him. The aftershock shot up his arm. Wincing, Remus ducked down as another came his way.

"You're hurting everyone else!" Kingsley roared as he shot a spell to parry away one coming towards him.

She froze. Her wand arm fell to her side. Her fingers clenched her wand so tightly, her hand trembled.

"Elphias!" Kingsley shouted. Remus turned as Greyback tackled the wizard to the ground, bringing the tussle to a physical level. Instinctively, Remus brought up his wand but couldn't be sure to hit Greyback instead of Elphias. Instead, he yanked Greyback off with brute force. He only had time to glimpse Greyback drawing back a fist before starburst exploded in his vision and Remus fell back, keeping a firm hold on Greyback.

They both fell to the floor.

The rest of the time went in a blur for Remus. His head was ringing and his knuckles hurt from punching Greyback in the jaw. Suddenly, Greyback pressed a knee on his chest, pinning him.

"You don't have the skills and the strength nor the experience, cub," Greyback growled.

Remus glimpsed a burst of light hitting Greyback from the side and the Alpha collapsed to the ground, groaning.

"Remus," Kingsley appeared in his blurry vision and yanked Remus to his feet, "are you alright?"

"Nymphadora," Remus croaked, doubling over his aching middle from taking a blow from Greyback. She was standing in the middle of the chaos, just as they left her. She was staring at him, "Nymphadora,"

Her eyes were a startling light brown colour; a colour Remus had never seen her wear, but it was familiar. Remus just couldn't place it. At the sound of her name, her blank eyes melt away into realisation. He had never seen such vulnerability in her before. Without realising it, he took a step and then another and another, closer to her; against Kingsley murmur of warnings.

She looked at him unblinkingly, her face devoid of any emotions, save her eyes. It made Remus wonder if she missed him as much as he did her. Nonetheless, he took her in his arms gently, feeling the relief seep into his bones. It soothed the aching fatigue he tried to battle with sleep instantly. It took her a heart stopping moment before Remus felt her arms snaked around his neck.

She felt different against him. Her waist was much too skinnier to be healthy. Her hipbone stuck out prominently against his hands. Her arms clung onto him, firm for her petite frame. She smelt of blood and dirt but felt of home.

"Remus…" She whispered.

He smiled, the words drying up on the tip of his tongue. Nothing seemed adequate enough to measure up. Instead, he gently shifted to kiss her forehead but she had other things in mind. Her arms remained tightly locked around his neck with her head resting on his shoulder. Still grinning, Remus pecked her damp black hair gently.

"I missed you," He whispered. She murmured incoherently into his shoulder.

"Remus," Kingsley placed a hand on his arm, "you have to go. Take her,"

Remus tilted his head to face the Auror, nodding solemnly.

"The Aurors will be here soon," Kingsley said and went to help inform the rest.

Still smiling, Remus placed his hands on her hips gently, "come on sweetheart, we gotta go. Are you hurt?" He touched her ear; coated with dried blood.

He gently pried her hold on him loose, kissing her hand gently. Remus smiled at her as he held her hand, keeping her close for apparition.

"No," She mumbled, "No," She said, her voice clearer and louder this time, objecting with fervor.

"Nymphadora, the Aurors are coming-"

"I can't leave him here," Tonks forced the words out through gritted teeth, "I can't."

Remus frowned, puzzled, "Who?"

"Mad-Eye," She choked out before making a dash for the woods.

Remus instantly gave chase, "Sweetheart, wait! Where is he exactly?" He caught up to her eventually with her faltering and half stumbling run. He grabbed her gently around the shoulders, stopping her cold, "tell me where you're hurt, and then we can go find him. There is no one else back at camp to hurt him,"

"I'm fine," She murmured.

Remus leaned forward, replying in a gentle voice, "Don't lie to me. All this blood-"

"Not my blood," Tonks cut him off hurriedly before shrugging out of his hold and continuing on her way.

He frowned, "Nymphadora! We'll apparate," Remus extended a hand. She eyed it hesitantly and Remus' heart broke. She had never doubted him, never. And now she did. Remus could only pile his added hatred for Greyback to the already long list. Eventually she took it and they disappeared with a soft pop.

The camp was deathly quiet. Once they arrived, Remus immediately felt the absence of her hand in his. Looking across the camp, she was already trudging towards the house, stumbling along the way. Remus quietly followed. Something wasn't right about Nymphadora but he just couldn't place it.

Instead, he quietly followed her. He drew his wand, fully intending to blast the door open on her behalf but Tonks merely twisted the handle and the door opened. She vanished inside without hesitation and Remus followed.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness before what he saw made the blood drain from his face.

"Oh Merlin…"

Tonks was kneeling beside Mad-Eye. Only, the retired Auror was lying on the floor on his side. His wooden leg was missing and he seemed to be sleeping. Remus would have thought so if not for the large puddle of dried blood around him. As Remus approached, he glimpsed a gaping slit in his neck, where Remus presumed he had bled out.

He dropped to his knees, pulling Nymphadora into his arms, burying her face into his chest. Remus palmed the back of her head, encircling her waist with his other arm. His heart felt torn. His lover had just lost the father figure in her life and he didn't know; she was hurting, dying inside and he wasn't aware.

"Nymphadora, oh I am so sorry…" Remus pressed a kiss to the top of her head, feeling her tremble.

Finally, sobs racked through her body and Remus held her tighter, steadying her, being her support. Every rasping breath she took in was filled with the unfathomable pain of a terrible loss she went through, every sob of pain she felt ripped its way through Remus's middle. At that time, they both took a moment; holding onto each other, as they grieve the passing of a greatest Auror in history.

* * *

Sirius leaped out of his seat as he heard the front door open. He scooped the vials of memories into the rucksack and shoved it into the cupboard. Just as he closed it, the kitchen door opened and the person Sirius least expected to turn up was seen; Snape.

"Snape," Sirius crossed his arms, "can I help you?"

Snape's eyes dart around the kitchen before he fixed his stare on Sirius, "I am merely here to inform you the Dark Lord knows of the werewolf rebellion as well as the Order's noble rescue mission of Nymphadora," Snape muttered curtly.

"What mission?" Sirius narrowed his eyes.

Snorting, Snape raised an eyebrow, "you don't know?" He pursed his lips as Sirius glared, "to think, Lupin didn't inform you; his closest friend. He wants to keep you away from the Aurors, no doubt-"

"What are you talking about?" Sirius seethed, making his way around the table to stand right in front of Snape, "tell me now,"

Snape stared blankly at Sirius for a moment before he turned on his heels and stalked away.

"Hey! Tell me!" Sirius growled just before Snape slammed the front door shut. He rubbed his face, frustrated before crying out in rage.

"Sirius!"

He froze, visibly surprised. He was so angry there; he didn't hear the door open again.

"Sirius!" Remus called again and Sirius flew into action; whipping out his wand as he dashed out into the hallway.

Maneuvering through the doorway was Remus carrying Nymphadora on his back.

"Nymphie!" An exclamation of relief escaped Sirius as he ran to pry her off of Remus. She looked filthy with mud and blood. Her red and swollen eyes were in a daze, "Merlin, what happened to you! You're freezing,"

He hoisted her into his arms as gently as he could manage, allowing her head to loll onto his shoulder before he took off up the stairs. Sirius could hear Remus rushing up after him. Amidst the relief and surprise, no one seemed to bother about the screeching portrait of Walburga Black.

Sirius slipped into the room which Tonks' occupied in her stay at Grimmauld Place. It was still in a haphazard mess; Sirius didn't have the heart to touch anything. He'd even forbidden Kreacher to go into her room.

Gently, Sirius deposited her on the bed and sat by her side. Finally, he properly looked into her eyes and saw the same dazed expression.

"Cuz, what's the matter?" Sirius probed, nudging her arm. She hardly glanced his way, "Hey, Nymphie," He shifted so that he leant over her, his hands cupping her cheek, "you're scaring me,"

"Sirius," Remus mumbled, placing a hand on his shoulder. Sirius paused and glanced at Remus to see him gesturing out of the room. Nodding, Sirius followed Remus out of the room, glancing back at Nymphadora. She still lay there, unmoving.

The moment Remus closed the door, Sirius lunged forward. He hastily grabbed a fistful of the front of Remus' shirt and pressed him back against the wall harshly, "You were rescuing her. Why didn't you tell me when you had news?"

Remus frowned, puzzled, "There wasn't time-"

"No time?" Sirius scoffed, "you had all the time in the bloody world to inform the whole Order but not me?"

Remus sighed, "Sirius, we had a close call with the Aurors-"

"I don't care about that! We're talking about my baby cousin! I want to be there for her-"

Remus exploded, "And if you're in Azkaban, what good would you do for Harry or Nymphadora? Whatever life you had in there can't be better than the one here,"

Sirius was silent for a moment, glaring at one of his closest friend in his life, "this, this is not living. This is not how a person should live; to not be able to be there for the ones I love,"

Remus closed his eyes for a moment, leaning his head back against the wooden wall, "Mad-Eye is dead. I don't know what happened with Nymphadora; what she saw…" Sirius' rage vanished as he realised that Remus was shaking, "I could only guess at what Greyback had her do, or watch. She wouldn't talk about it. I saw his body, Sirius. He _bled_ to death, probably with Nymphadora holed up in that hut with him to watch him die."

"It destroyed her," Sirius muttered, releasing Remus as realization hit him.

"I can't get through to her," Remus ran his hand through his hair, "maybe you can talk to her,"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "she loves you, mate. What makes you think-"

"You matter, to her,"

* * *

Sirius walked into the room, closing the door behind him quietly.

Nymphadora was still where they left her, staring up at the ceiling blankly. He threaded quietly across the cold wooden floor before he sat down by her side on the bed. He took in what he saw of her; the bruise on the side of her face, the blood which coated in her hair and on her face, the mud which covered majority of her robe and face. There were numerous cuts as well. A small cut on her hand, then, caught his eye.

Gently, he took her hand and weighed it in his own with a small smile. Pursing his lips, Sirius spoke, "Do you remember when you just a small kid, how you would like it when I just sat here with you and told you stories about my adventures? With Remus, James and…Peter, then. You would always wait up for me, to hear them. You were always so jealous that I always had the most exciting and heart-stopping adventures,"

Sirius looked down as he ran his fingertips over the back of her hand gently; to distract himself. Swallowing back the tears, Sirius continued, "but it's different now. You're the one with heart-stopping adventures; the most dangerous missions that make me shudder to think about. And now I'm the one who have to sit back and wait for you," He looked at her.

"And I will, Nymphie. You'll always be my baby cousin and I'll always wait for you," He blinked away the tears, swallowing, "I'll wait to listen, whenever you're ready to tell me," Sirius smiled, turning away as he felt the first tear fall into his lap. His heart ached for her, seeing her like this; so young and yet so broken.

She squeezed his hand briefly and Sirius turned to see her crying quietly. Her grey eyes, which were once dazed and unfocused, were now looking at him.

"Sirius," She sniffed, her hand clenching his firmly, "H-he died. Everyone died. I saw,"

To be continued…

**A/N: I got this up in time! Touching chapter here; for me to write. The first part of Moody's memory was kind of a closure for me; in terms of Moody's past. The cycle is complete with Moody meeting Nymphadora, finally. And from there, I guess it is implied why Moody took Nymphadora as his apprentice when he heard of her. A little bit about Nymphadora's unhinged side. It was difficult to decide how she would react and I settled on…however you interpreted this; I thought this to be the in-character reaction for her. (: JK Rowling did cover a little on Tonks' grief in Book 7 but that was a little brief and almost nothing for me to work on; so here's my version. **

**This is really long, so I'll stop here! **

**Thank you so much to the reviewers of last chapter, _Nymphadora-Remus4ever, tt crews, LoopyLuna13, Lupinesence, NymphaTonksLupin, Ellen Potter, Tonks23, paardenlaura, Neveraskquestions, Professor Pang, HammersNStrings, Furionknight and Sarah1996_. I particularly love reading your reactions to the Bellatrix and Mad-Eye stuff (: It was fun! And like how I think you guys read this story again sometimes, I do read all your reviews, and more than once ^^**


	36. Chapter 36: Forgive

Chapter 36: Forgive

Remus approached her quietly. For the first time, he was uncertain how to talk to her. How he should comfort her; if she would flinch away from his touch, scarred by all the torture she has been through. Even after Sirius' assurance that she was all mellowed out and responsive, Remus was still worried. She was resting on her back, her eyes closed. Sirius had evidently removed the mud and blood from her skin. Remus could spend forever tracing the worried lines from the frown she had on her face with his eyes.

He still remembers, vividly, the last time he was actually physically close to her. It was such a long time ago but when he close his eyes, he could still see her slight smile just before she pressed the side of her face to his chest. That night, his heartbeat had lulled her to sleep. He was still puzzled though he didn't voice it, knowing she would be annoyed at him. How could a monster's heart calm her to sleep?

Nymphadora truly is an intriguing woman but she is also someone whom Remus loved very much and would love to spend the rest of his life figuring out.

He knelt by her bedside, watching her from a closer proximity and he felt a smile on his lips. She was sleeping peacefully. Struggling with the choices whether to let her sleep or to wake her for he couldn't wait to see her beautiful eyes; Remus instead leant forward quietly.

He pressed his lips to her cheek gently and found himself unable to pull away. She smelled lovely, like vanilla and like home. Remus smiled to himself, pecking her on her cheek again and again.

It took him a moment to realise she was awake. Only when he kissed her nose instead of her cheek, did he realise that she was now wide awake and looking at him. When his lips touched her nose, she froze as did Remus.

He looked into her bright grey eyes, afraid he had frightened her but she laughed. It wasn't the loud and voracious laugh he normally smiled to hear; but rather, the soft cheery laugh. He found himself chuckling in relief as he pressed his forehead to hers. He kissed her again on her closed eyelid and smiled, exhilarated as she hummed.

"I-" They both started and paused as they heard the other.

"You first," Remus whispered with a smile.

"Remus," She began and Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat; for the last time he heard her say his name, she was dead and nothing more than a spirit. Tonks didn't seem to notice as she continued, chewing on her lip, seemingly nervous, "I'm…sorry for worrying you. And before you deny, I know you've been worrying. You are Remus Lupin and you worry." She rambled; a sure sign of her uncertainty.

Remus gently brushed aside stray strands of black hair from her cheek, quieting her anxiety, "Dora, I won't deny it. Although, the last few weeks have been…insanely worrying," She chuckled before her amusement quelled when Remus merely smiled, "I'm not letting you out of my sight again, you realise that, right?"

She smiled, placing a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down to her, "I wouldn't have it any other way," Remus opened his mouth to speak but Tonks sealed his lips with hers.

There was no way Remus can describe it. The feeling of absolute certainty and relief that the person you care about most and love most in this world is finally safe, with you. After weeks of torment, not just due to separation but also the worry about her life, Remus just felt an odd but overwhelming sense of relief. The weight on his chest lifted and the throbbing headache he has been having seemed to have magically left him.

He missed everything about this extraordinary woman; her firm but yet gentle grasp she had on his hair as they kissed, her intoxicating scent, her warmth, the way her tongue flicked along his lower lip…

Remus felt his eyes roll to the back of his head as he dwelled deeper in the kiss.

"Oh Merlin! Gods!" Sirius' loud cry startled them both. Remus jerked up to realise he was now directly above her on the bed. One of his legs was between hers and both his elbows were on both sides of her, propping him up. Remus strained to look up as Tonks continually pulled him back down, burying her face into his neck.

Sirius had one hand on the doorknob and the other covering his eyes. Remus watched, blushing, as Sirius removed his hand cautiously only to yelp again at what he saw and turn away.

"Good god! Put your clothes back on!" Sirius raved.

Remus frowned, puzzled before he looked and realized Tonks' robe and his cardigan was strewn across the floor and the top few buttons of her shirt was unbuttoned. Remus felt his blood rush at the sight. He instantly brought up the sheets to cover her before sitting up himself.

"Moony, mate! Can I not leave you in a room alone with my baby cousin for a little more than 10 minutes without you two trying to pop out a little cousin for me?" Sirius buried his face in his palms, mumbling, "Andy would kill me,"

Remus blushed while Tonks brought the sheets up higher and giggled. "Sirius," Remus growled, "just…get out…" he gestured towards the door and Sirius stared at Remus with a warning look in his eyes before sighing.

"Don't get frisky, you two…" Sirius raised a brow suggestively.

"You're not my mum, Sirius!" Tonks snapped playfully.

Sirius grinned, "Oh you're right Nymphie. I'm not Andy. If I were, Remus would be missing a few very precious and manly body parts,"

Tonks giggled loudly and Remus shot Sirius a reproachful look, in slight horror just before Sirius retreated out of the room; shooting them a wink.

When the room door shut, Remus growled in frustration, burying his face into her hair as she laughed.

* * *

"I'm coming with you," Remus stated firmly, squeezing her hand. They watched as the phoenix shaped patronus vanished into thin air before making eye contact. He could see a flash of fear in her grey-black eyes as she nodded.

Sirius stood, "I-"

"Stay here," Remus cut him off, deadpanned before they both left.

Keeping their heads low, Remus guided her to the alley for apparition. As he drew his wand, Tonks twisted out of his hold, grasping the front of his shirt in both fists.

"Remus," He looked into her eyes and saw the fear, growing, "I don't talk about it," Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"He can't force you to. I won't let him," Remus leaned in and kissed her forehead before flourishing his wand and apparating them both wordlessly.

Tonks wringed her fingers, ruthlessly as they waited for the gargoyle to bring them up to the Headmaster's office. Glancing at her, worried again, Remus covered her fingers with his hand.

"Dora, look at me," she did, "Don't be afraid, I'm here," Swallowing, she nodded, grasping his hand firmly.

Dumbledore looked older. How that was even possible; Remus didn't know but he did look more haggard than the last time Remus saw him. He was hunched in his chair, looking down at the table where his blackened hand was until they entered the room.

"Nymphadora, how have you been?" Dumbledore started and Remus winced. _How do you expect her to be after putting her through such monstrous experience?_

"I'm well," she replied thickly, her hand tightening her hold on his hand as they took a seat once offered.

They locked eyes and Remus silently watched.

"I know you don't want to talk about such a painful experience but death is nothing to be afraid of," Dumbledore spoke after a long while. Legilimency. Remus had no doubt the headmaster would not invade her mind like that and could only conclude that Tonks had allowed the invasion.

"No, I'm not afraid of death, as long as I'm one it has had," Tonks replied.

"Alastor's death is a tragedy for all of us," Dumbledore began and Remus could've sworn he heard regret and pain in the calm voice of the headmaster, "To me, he is an old dear friend and to you, he is no less. He is your mentor, one you have come to love as dear as a father and I understand. I know Alastor wouldn't look at you any less than his own daughter."

Tonks tensed and Remus wanted to speak up for Dumbledore to stop but Remus didn't. He felt Tonks needed this moment so instead he asked her, "Dora, do you want me to leave?" He leaned in, searching her eyes for his true reply and he saw it. _Yes, please, but stay close to me. _

He did as she bid but not before he kissed her on her cheek, "I love you," he murmured. Remus nodded at the headmaster before leaving the room; standing just outside the door, out of earshot of their conversation. He loved her but Remus understood that there are some things Tonks could prefer and have to face alone.

"During your captivity, Sirius went to Alastor's house; without anyone's notice of course, and found what he left for you. By accident but nonetheless, he bought it back to Grimmauld Place."

Tonks frowned, puzzled about what her mentor could have possibly left for her. Money? Knowledge in the form of books? His diary?

Dumbledore chuckled, "better and closer to his heart than any of those," He paused, looking at her over his half-moon spectacles, "He left you his past. Come," the headmaster stood gingerly and walked towards his pensieve, "I went to Grimmauld Place to retrieve them from Sirius just earlier today and he allowed me to have the honour of showing you, giving them to you."

"He left me his memories, didn't he?" Tonks muttered, "He knew he wasn't going to live…"

"Oh Alastor hoped he would but from his experiences, he knew there was little chance he could save you himself without giving away his own life. So he left you this," Dumbledore gestured to the many vials on the rack, "He went through a great headache to think about how he was going to guard them and how you were going to get them without his guidance. He went through the pains of using blood as a passcode and coincidentally, Sirius, who shared your blood, stumbled upon the passcode.

"Alastor has always been a hardhearted man but he is still human. He loved you, very much and this will tell you why." Dumbledore smiled as he took a vial off the rack delicately and release its contents into the pensieve. Glancing at Dumbledore's smiling visage, Tonks plunged her face into the bowl.

"Professor," Tonks began hesitantly, "did you know?" Her voice was quivering.

"Oh yes Nymphadora. I was there for Alastor but he didn't want any help or comfort. He wanted the impossible," Dumbledore replied as they sat back down into their respective seats, "Can you guess what the only thing Alastor ever wanted was?

Tonks pondered it for a moment, "he wanted his daughter back,"

Dumbledore nodded with a sad smile, "yes, mainly. He also wanted his family back, including Bellatrix…"

"but it wasn't going to happen," Tonks snorted, "she was gone forever and he still loved her? After everything she put him through,"

"You don't stop loving just because, Nymphadora. I thought you knew that," Dumbledore smiled, bemused, "Lyra's death wasn't the final draw that broke the man.

"Bellatrix," Tonks muttered.

"Yes, I tried to convince Alastor that staying at that house wasn't safe anymore but he refused to leave. And yes, Bellatrix came back for her daughter. She blamed Alastor for Lyra's death. Alastor was barely in the state to fight, after losing his eye and his daughter. That day, Alastor loss his leg to the only woman he had ever and will ever love." Dumbledore sighed, turning his blackened hand over.

"He's a good man. And Bellatrix played him," Tonks said through gritted teeth.

"Love is a curious thing. It can save us all but it can also destroy us. I have no doubt, Alastor's refusal to join her and his departure broke Bellatrix."

Tonks snorted, unbelieving that her deranged aunt could actually feel love and reciprocate it. In Tonks' mind, Bellatrix was just another criminal that her Auror instincts pushed her to apprehend; a cruel and heartless death eater. But Tonks had seen Mad-Eye's memory and the common look they shared was undeniable.

"Lyra's death was...it changed Alastor a great deal. He had never stopped blaming himself for it; how careless he was with her. And then he found you. I imagined; it must've been like seeing his daughter, grown up into a fine young woman, alive again. You gave him the release to finally forgive himself all these years; you gave Alastor his life back again and I can assure you, he will feel no regrets, sacrificing everything he had in that moment for you." Dumbledore smiled.

Tonks averted his eyes, feeling the tears sting her eye, "what about what I want? I didn't want him to leave me,"

"Alastor would have to leave you eventually. He'd rather it be so that he saved your life. I would imagine, Alastor couldn't be happier, with Lyra at his side again. In his time with you, Alastor has given you everything he had and whatever he knew he taught it to you. We all know it will be time soon to leave it to the younger generation. It's your turn now," Dumbledore patted her hand which was curled into a fist on the table.

"I miss him, even his nagging," Tonks chuckled bitterly as a tear rolled down her cheek, "I guess I just have so much I want to tell him,"

Dumbledore chuckled and he leaned back, pulling open his drawer. From within, he retrieved a small stone like object and placed it on the table.

"So tell him," Dumbledore made to leave.

"What-"

But the door was already closed and Dumbledore was gone. Tonks huffed in frustration but when she turned around, Mad-Eye Moody now stood in the middle of the office. He didn't have his walking stick but still had his wooden leg and magical eye on him. There wasn't even a trace of blood left on him and he was now looking at her with a fond smile.

"You're not-" Tonks almost laughed as she stood clumsily to walk around the chair, "I can't believe it. Is this even real… how?"

"I never left you and I'm always watching. How could I leave you in that place alone huh? And you," He took two steady steps to her, despite the absence of his walking stick, "you silly girl, you were never far from me, just lying there all day."

Tonks laughed bitterly, "I didn't know where else to go…"

"I would say get the hell out," He snapped gruffly and Tonks chuckled, "but you couldn't hear me, can you?"

"I can hear you now," Tonks bit her lips against the tears, "how did Dumbledore-"

Mad-Eye snorted, "Albus that old fool. He went in search of the resurrection stone I suppose. And he found it…But I suppose it is tempting to get an object that allows you to speak to your dead loved ones."

"You have no idea-" Tonks stopped herself a moment too late. He did know what it's like.

"Death is a real bastard isn't it?" Moody grumbled, "A real rift that separates people,"

Tonks smiled, "even in death, you're surly and grumpy." Moody snorted in mild acknowledgement, "did you see Lyra?"

Instantly, Tonks could see and sense the change in atmosphere just from the looks on Mad-Eye's face, a smile made the wrinkles fade, "She…reminds me of you,"

"I thought it's the other way around," Tonks smirked.

"I thought so too," Mad-Eye mumbled, staring at Tonks fixatedly with both eyes.

"Great, so now you can't use the phrase 'driving you to an early grave'," Tonks made an eerily similar imitation of Mad-Eye.

"Cheek," Mad-Eye growled. It didn't take Tonks long to run out of things to say, the silence was just so comforting, especially now that she know her mentor was here with her, "I saw how you were with Lupin,"

Tonks blushed instantly, "Mad-Eye…that's creepily disturbing." She snapped.

"Nothing I haven't seen and your mentor knows when to leave you two to it y'know!" He growled, offended. Tonks couldn't help but giggle at the thought of Mad-Eye acting like Sirius, "Lupin is a good lad, Nymphadora,"

"I know," She replied, averting his eyes shyly. This felt acutely like talking to her father about her boyfriend.

"If he ask you, don't say no. That is a man you can spend your life with and even I can be rest assured you will alright."

Tonks shifted uncomfortably as Mad-Eye gave her relationship advice, "what happened to constant vigilance?" She teased and Mad-Eye sent her a warningly stare, "alright alright! Don't stare at me like that. I would if he asked," she grumbled.

"He will. It is what every man wants and you are too good a chance for Remus to miss out on," Mad-Eye smirked.

"And if you're wrong about Remus being a goody-two shoes? If he hurt me?" Tonks teased but was taken aback when Mad-Eye seemed to have taken it seriously; his face turning dark.

"Then tell Lupin to watch his back," Mad-Eye snapped. Tonks smiled at the thought of Remus' expression if she did tell him. She sat down on the floor comfortably.

"Who did you meet?" Tonks asked.

"Hopefully you-know-who soon," Mad-Eye growled.

"He wouldn't go to heaven," Tonks rolled her eyes, "He already has a special place in hell. But really, anyone?"

"Emmeline forgives you,"

Tonks froze, her breath caught in her throat.

"Ruane forgives you,"

She felt her jaw muscles tightening.

"It's past time you forgave yourself,"

"I took their life," Tonks muttered, "Just like how I tore yours from you,"

"I had it coming, Nymphadora," Mad-Eye frowned, a sure sign of his disapproval, "

I _gave_ my life for yours. And now I could only watch over you and, at this moment, advise you. Don't go down that road I did, it's hell. Find it in yourself to forgive yourself,"

"It's hard," she said in a small voice, suddenly feeling very young.

"I know," Mad-Eye walked up to her, reaching out an ethereal hand to touch her. She could see him patting her cheek twice, just like how he'd always do so to her in the past, but she couldn't feel the warmth. It felt like nothing but it meant everything to her. When he made to turn away, Tonks panicked. She reached out and grabbed his wrist before his hand could leave her face but she held nothing but air.

"Don't leave me," She cried, choking over her words.

"Never," Mad-Eye stated simply before he walked towards the stone on Dumbledore's desk. He reached out for it but then his hand stopped short and he turned to look at her again, "I resent Voldemort for what he did to Lyra but even in death, everyday in my dreams, I killed Greyback and Voldemort a thousand times over for what they did to you, my daughter,"

"I love you, Dad," She whispered through her tears as Mad-Eye touched the stone at his fingertips. He began vanishing, his body turning more and more transparent till Mad-Eye Moody was no more. Tonks watched, every moment of it.

Smiling through her tears, Tonks got up from the floor, wiping her tears on her palm before opening the door. Remus was standing there, his arms crossed across his chest. He was staring at the floor, his fingers tapping his arm impatiently. Remus looked up when the door open and he was instantly at her side, cupping her face in his hands, "Are you alright? I saw Albus leaving and-"

"I'm fine," She smiled as Remus frowned over the tear streaks on her face, "Let's get back before Sirius breaks out of there," She grinned and slipped her hand into his, dragging him to the gargoyle.

* * *

A few days later, a small funeral was held at Moody's house in memory of him. Many people, despite the danger, turned up and offered their condolences and pay their respects. A will was then sent by the ministry. It states that all his belongings, including his magical eye, his house and everything in it, were to go to Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks.

Remus showed Tonks the photo he had always kept and Tonks told him the story of Moody's past. They framed up that photo and placed it on the mantelpiece on top of the fireplace in Moody's, or rather Tonks' house.

"I miss him," Tonks sighed, placing her head on Remus' shoulder.

"We all do," Remus pecked the top of her head affectionately. They watched as Dumbledore apparated first to Grimmauld Place to attend the upcoming meeting. He had just helped Tonks reinforce the wards around the house.

"Remus," Tonks looked at him, "I want to stay here, when all this is over."

"I don't see why not. The place is well protected and it has lovely greenery in its surroundings," Remus smiled, "although, it is in serious need of a makeover…" His voice trailed off, uncertain if he had offended her but Tonks grinned.

"My thought's exactly, love,"

* * *

**A/N: I'm fully aware that this took more than a month to write but I don't write every day so please bear with me! I truly apologise for the long wait! I just hope you guys are still stuck to this story and will till the end! Well, minor changes, I shall not add 'to be continued' this time! I have received some feedback about it and thought it would be alright to remove it. I started writing when I was young and it stayed since then so it could be a tinge cheesy :) **

**After finishing this chapter, I realise how much of a final chapter this sounds like but _this is not the final chapter_ but a true closure for the mini Mad-Eye story I sort of brought you, my readers, through for quite a while. I hope you enjoyed it! **

**One last thing, I just read about the Image Manager thing that they had going and thought if any of you have any suggestions or wanna design a story cover for this story, feel free to do so and I just might take it up :) For a reward, maybe I'll send you the next chapter earlier than when I post it? ) sounds great doesn't it? Since the waits are so damn indecently long. Just PM me about it and I'll get back to you! :) **

**Once again, thank you to all my reviewers of last chapter, you guys make me smile like a loon! Thank you Tonks23, LoopyLuna13, paardenlaura, Furionknight, ajlover, Arya Lupin, Lupinesence, tt crews, QueenAnneMagic, Professor Pang, Sarah1996 and HammersNStrings. I love you all! **


	37. Chapter 37: Lost

Chapter 37: Lost

Tonks sighed heavily and shifted so her head was now lying on Remus' chest.

"Are you alright?" Remus murmured; his voice thick from sleep. His fingers kneaded the muscles on the back of her neck gently, trying to loosen the strain there.

"I'm tired but I can't sleep," Her voice husky, "the Order is already in a bad way, I can't believe I screwed up the mission," She frowned.

Remus smiled, shaking his head, "Don't think that way. You've tried your best. What Voldemort is asking you is horrible. Your humanity is not what I…what we're willing to sacrifice."

Tonks sighed, "Remus…this can't carry on…none of the people in the Order can afford to get hurt; or even…" She choked over what she meant to say but Remus understood. She cupped his cheek, feeling the rough stubble fondly, "I can't imagine what I'd do if you were hurt,"

He forced a pained smile, almost a grimace as he pondered it for a moment. He leant into her touch. "We have to end this," Remus turned and kissed her palm, "just not this way," He offered her a small smile and Tonks pondered it for a moment before nodding reluctantly, letting the matter slide for the moment, "now you're the worrier," He grinned.

Tonks rolled her eyes as placed a palm on Remus' chest, tracing the thickest scar that ran from his shoulder to his stomach. Chuckling, he jerked away while he caught her fingers gently in his hand, "you're so ticklish, everywhere," She teased, smirking.

Remus raised a brow at the mischievous glint in her eyes; the one he always sees in Sirius' eyes before he got all of them into detention for at least a week, "Is that a surprise?" He looked up at the creaky wooden ceiling, fighting an amuse smile.

"Honestly, yes," Tonks giggled, "Calm and rational Remus Lupin, put off by a few light touches,"

"Ha ha," Remus said, the side of his lips twitching evidently, "go to sleep,"

"What?" Tonks propped herself up on her elbows, "regretting accompanying me in bed?" She leaned over him, laughter in her eyes.

"Never," He breathed, kissing her sweetly on her lips before hugging her down on him. She hummed appreciatively, her eyes closed, as he massaged her temples with the pads of his thumbs. She smiled at the serious expression he had on his face. Up close, she could see the beautiful glint in his blue eyes as he concentrated; almost adding an innocent quality to the beautiful factor. Tonks giggled as she thought how well he could pull of the puppy-dog eyes; much better than Sirius for sure, "what?" Remus demanded playfully. When he was merely met with a haughty look that she perfected, his marauder self was sparked. He refused to be treated as such.

He surprised her by kissing the tip of her nose, smirking as she yelped, retreating away, startled. Tonks scowled playfully before she dove in with unrelenting agile fingers, tickling him ruthlessly in his sides; where he was most vulnerable.

Gritting his teeth to hold in a yelp, Remus sat up and kneeled to gain higher ground on the bed, enveloping her firmly in his embrace. They teetered treacherously before tipping over with Remus toppling onto Tonks.

Without any preamble, Tonks burst into laughter and quieted only when Remus shot her disapproving look and covering her lips with his. When they came up for air, Tonks found an uncharacteristic smirk on Remus' face, making him look years younger. He glanced at the door before placing a silencing charm on the door.

"Mr Lupin, wandless silencing charm, I'm impressed," Tonks whistled, giving him a taste of the infamous disarmingly attractive Black smirk.

Remus shrugged, "With the right motivation, anything is possible," With that, his nimble fingers began undoing the lace that was holding together the front of her sweatshirt swiftly, "I am a marauder after all." He feigned an offended look at the doubt.

"Remus," She smiled as she gazed at his mischievous grin. He looked so young like that. He looked at her to see her expression of one being pleasantly surprised.

Remus halted, looking down at his own top, or lack thereof, "you're overdressed, love," He grinned, toying with the restraining laces.

"This is awfully uncharacteristic of you," Tonks smiled, cupping his cheek.

Remus gaped, grasping for an answer for a moment, "I'm nervous," He finally admitted, his fingers leaving the laces as it was; half undone. Tonks raised a slender brow.

"About sharing a bed with me?" She watched him closely with wide, grey almond shaped eyes. He sighed, abandoning his mission to undress her altogether and instead, used his hands to prop himself above her.

He huffed, pressing his lips together and seemingly frantically finding words, "This is probably the worst position to do this but…" Tonks waited expectantly but nothing came. Remus continued staring at a spot above her head.

"But?" she prompted. Remus looked at her and they locked eyes. He lasted a second before he withdrew from above her and sat on the bed with a sigh, "Remus, stop it. You sound old,"

"I am and you do know that, before you jumped into bed with me; an _old_ man," He drawled as she wound her arms around his neck, propping her chin up on his shoulder, kissing a scar she found there.

"I like older men but not old _and_ depressed," She grinned, kissing him on a spot below his ear.

"Dora," He huffed a sigh before slipping out from her embrace. Remus turned around to face her, taking her hands in his calloused ones before locking eyes again. This time, Tonks sealed her lips shut, determined to listen and not deter him. She watched in anticipation as he parted his lips to say something, "Will you-" his breath hitched in his throat and his courage left him, "go to sleep soon? You look tired,"

Tonks raised both brows and Remus pressed his lips together till they turn white.

When he still didn't say anymore, Tonks smiled, amused, "Yes," She nodded, pecking him on his tightly pressed lips before folding her legs in and pulling the sheets over herself as she lay back on the bed.

Remus buried his face in his hands_. Stupid. Failure. Coward._

He crawled pathetically to her side, slipping under the sheets. He wiggled closer to her back, positioning his knees, bent, behind hers; spooning her. Placing his arms around her waist, Remus settled down to sleep.

He lay quietly in bed in the darkness for a moment or two, listening to her even breathing before he shifted, restless. He parted his lips to say something but knew Tonks, being as tired as she was, will be asleep by now.

"Dora," His hoarse voice came out as barely a whisper in the dark and quiet room, "will you marry me?" The question came out even softer, almost inaudible to his own ears.

He was met with silence. Remus sighed, burying his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. He glanced out the window, seeing the almost full moon in the sky and sighed once more before letting the sight and scent lull him to sleep.

Remus' eyes snapped open abruptly and he tensed.

On instinct, Remus extracted himself from the sheets and blindly took his wand from the bedside table. He stood in the middle of the room, listening intently.

"Remus, what's wrong?" On the bed, just awakened by him, Tonks stirred. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up as she switched the lights on.

"Shh," Remus gestured, "someone's coming," He opened the door. Instantly, she's awake. Being the auror that she was, Tonks snatched her wand up and followed Remus out into the dark corridor.

True enough, as they made to descend the stairs, Tonks could hear footsteps at the front door, walking down the corridor.

Abruptly, Remus lit up his wand and pointed it straight at the intruder's face.

It was Kingsley.

He flinched at the sudden light, blinking. His wand in hand but it was not raised.

"I'm sorry," Remus directed the wand down and Tonks lowered her wand as well.

"What happened?" Tonks frowned, instantly spotting the worried expression on her colleague as well as close friend's face.

"Ginny is missing,"

Kingsley said gravely. Tonks instantly jumped onto it, shooting questions but Remus, being the voice of reason, suggested they take it to the kitchen instead of waking the entire house.

"What happened?" Tonks hissed. Kingsley didn't reply her, "Well, she can't just vanish,"

"I think she is taken," Kingsley's reply was soft and the poor Auror looked ready to collapse.

"We mustn't tell Molly yet," Remus murmured, tenting his fingers.

Tonks nodded, "She'll go nuts. Do any of the kids know…?"

"Hermione and Parvati reported her missing to Minerva the moment they realise she didn't return to her dormitories for the night and for classes the day as well," Kingsley replied, rubbing a hand over his tired face, "Maybe if we pull in other Aurors…?" He turned to Tonks.

"No, if we do that, the ministry will have to know and we all know the ministry is a loss cause. We'll be better off on our own," Tonks tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Dumbledore?" Remus looked up.

"He's not in school," Kingsley said, deadpanned. Tonks made a noise of frustration. They all knew and felt the effect of the headmaster constant mysterious disappearance. Worst of all, none of them had any idea where he was. She then glanced to her side to see Remus' face filled with worried lines again as he thought. He was a good teacher; he cared, about each and every one of his students greatly. Smiling weakly, Tonks reached out and patted his knee. Remus glanced at her, placing his hand on hers.

"We can't go look for her now, not in the middle of the night. We won't find anything," Remus sighed.

Tonks swallowed the dread of what Remus is suggesting and what Kingsley caught on, "we start tomorrow, early."

Remus nodded, "Get some rest. I think Sirius has some vacant rooms upstairs," Kingsley nodded and walked off, still deep in thought.

Remus collected her hand in his to get back to bed but Tonks refused to get up from the chair, "Remus, we can't leave her like this…" Tonks murmured.

Remus sighed, bending to her level, "Dora, I know you care about Ginny and worry about her but there is nothing we can do now. Look at us," She did and they looked terrible. Remus' hair was in a tousled mess and his face had a shadow over it, his eyes were bloodshot from fatigue. Tonks felt a pang of guilt. She knew the full moon was tomorrow night and nothing could be feeling worst on him now. She, similarly, felt like she'd just completed a full module of Mad-Eye's training without rest, "come on. In 2 hours, we'll be out looking for her. We have to get some rest. And Ginny, that tough kid, will have to hang on till then,"

Tonks sighed. He always was the rational one.

* * *

The sun was not even up but Tonks was. In fact, she was dressed and was pulling on her maroon leather robe on when Remus stirred.

He looked so painfully adorable; it has to be illegal for anyone to do this to others. Remus inclined his head from the bed, revealing a magnificent mess of bed hair and looked around blearily, "Dora?" His voice was husky from the lack of use. His arm was spreaded over her side of the bed, obviously not finding her and becoming concerned.

Despite her worry for Ginny, she couldn't help smiling. Approaching him, Tonks took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. Remus chuckled, "good morning to you too,"

Tilting his face up to her, she almost melted as she looked into pools of ridiculously light blue eyes. Unable to help herself, she leaned down and kissed him. His lips were warm and soft on hers. She ran her fingers through his hair fondly, kissing him on his cheek as they part. She almost lost herself to him, her lips yearning for the feel of his again, only shortly after they'd kissed. But Remus spoke; the voice of reason.

"Ginny." He reminded firmly, with a chuckle. Remembering, she sighed and released him.

"Right," Tonks nodded, looking determined, "What are you doing?" She frowned as Remus crawled out of bed, adjusting his pyjamas pants as he shuffled to the bathroom.

"Washing up. Wait for me," He yawned.

"Remus," She raised a brow, "I'll go with Kingsley. You stay here and rest for the day. Full moon's-"

"I know," Remus cut her off, "Ginny's my student. Always will be. Wait for me, I'm coming."

Tonks sighed, running her fingers through her purple hair as she collapsed back onto the bed. In a few minutes, Remus was pulling on his shirt and buttoning it up as Tonks watched appreciatively from the bed. Then she spotted Remus', hardly noticeable, blush.

"I didn't know marauders blush," she teased, biting her lips.

"I'm not blushing," Remus protested, retrieving his pants from the drawer and was about to change out of his pyjamas pants right there. However, a glance at Tonks was all it took for him to head to the bathroom. She pouted, hearing the soft laugh from the bathroom, as she flopped back down on the bed.

* * *

"She left a note?" Remus raised a brow, looking down at the note in his hand that Parvati just handed to him.

Tonks leaned over and true enough, it read:

_Don't worry. I snuck out. Will be back the day after tomorrow. Don't tell anyone. _

_Ginevra. _

"Where did you find this?" Remus asked as Tonks took the note from him.

"On her bed, on her pillows. I must've missed it before we went ahead to tell Professor McGonagall about it," Parvati replied sheepishly, "I'm sorry Professor,"

Tonks smiled in amusement despite herself, as she heard the girl's slip, of calling Remus a professor, which many of the kids keep committing.

"It's alright," Remus nodded to her and the girl went off towards the castle.

"Well…I bet she snuck off with Harry somewhere-"

"It's not Ginny," Remus said, "that is not her hand," He gestured to the note, "and she will never sign off with her full name," He stated before glancing up at her and cracking a slight smile.

"Yeah, she hates it," Tonks smirked before her amusement quelled pretty quickly, "so she was taken. Kingsley was right,"

All of a sudden, Remus tensed, frozen as a gust of wind blew their way.

"Remus?" She touched his arm gently but he held onto her upper arm firmly, his eyes darting around swiftly. His wand was already drawn in the other hand. Tonks glanced around. The street was empty; almost ghostly. She wasn't surprised; with the threats Voldemort was sending out, even Hogwarts had banned the Hogsmeade visit for the week.

"Dora, stay close to me," He murmured, pulling her closer.

"Remus, what is it?" She hissed; her wand also out now.

"Greyback is here,"

Tonks' eyes widened as she shot a stunner swiftly. It flew past Remus, barely brushing his earlobe. A hooded man collapsed with a cry. She glanced around nervously as several more ran out from behind the houses and some from the nearby forested areas.

Tonks frantically shot down a man who was barreling straight into her. The tide soon separated them but she could still hear Remus fighting; shouting curses and hexes.

Knowing they wouldn't last, Tonks took down another before flourishing her wand to cast a patronus but a silvery wolf skimmed past her and she glanced to see Remus watch it go. He nodded to her briefly before she lost sight of him. He was down. Tonks' heart plunged.

"Remus!" She shouted but in that moment, she felt a pair of arms grab her from the back around the neck. The sinewy arm was throttling her. She elbowed the stranger but all she felt was his stone hard abdominal muscles. She felt a sharp pain in her rib, knocking the wind out of her, as the man punched her to stop her struggling.

Her knees buckled and she fell, winded and surprised with the hit that brought blinding pain.

"No!" She glimpsed Remus again amongst the hoard. He was glancing to her before bringing down two men simultaneously with strong hexes and hooked another with his fist.

She ducked just as the man drew back his large fist.

Tonks twisted around and brought up her wand to his abdomen, "Impedimenta!" She cried. As the man stumble back, she rose, her wand tip in his face. _Avada-_

The spell half formed in her mind but Tonks hurriedly stopped it; knowing she could very well accidentally kill him with it just by performing the curse silently, despite its difficulty. She didn't know what she can do but Tonks didn't want to know.

In that moment of hesitation, she felt agonizing pain hit her from behind and she crumpled to the floor, her world turning to darkness; the last thing she heard was Remus, screaming her name.

* * *

She stirred, pain shooting up her head from her neck. Wincing, she blinked to clear her vision. Tonks made to stand but stumbled as her head swooned. Her vision gradually cleared and she saw leaves; many of them beneath her hands.

Remembering what happened, Tonks jumped to her feet. She felt around for her wand and found it in her pocket. She drew it, relieved. She was in a forest, apparently. It is almost dark. _Lumos._

She stifled a scream as she saw the figure slumped against a tree.

"Ginny!" Tonks dropped to her knees, taking the girl's face in her hands and slapping her lightly on her cheeks, "wake up," Tonks' heart stopped in her chest as Ginny failed to respond but soon enough, she stirred.

"Tonks?" She squinted in the light. It took Ginny a moment but when she regained her senses, the red haired Weasley threw her arms around Tonks' neck, squealing and sighing. Even Tonks managed a sigh and a soft laugh.

"Where have you been?" Tonks pried herself loose to hold the girl at arms' length.

Ginny was not hurt, at least not that Tonks could tell. She had a cracked lip that was bleeding and a dirty visage but other than that, she looked well.

When Tonks asked, Ginny's eyes darted around and Tonks saw a flash of fear in her eyes before they focused on her, "Greyback," Her voice choked out, "he-he…"

Tonks shushed her as the girl broke down. She had never seen Ginny cry but Tonks knew first-hand how vicious Greyback could be, to young girls especially.

"Ginny, it's alright, you're alright, I'm here," Tonks rambled, patting her back as Ginny cried into her shoulder. Then Tonks paused, glancing around frantically for Remus. He was no where in sight, "Ginny," She touched the girl's shoulder gently, "did he touch you?" Tonks asked hesitantly.

Ginny bit her lips and shook her head, "no," she sniffed, "he just locked me up and talked to me some."

"What did he say to you?" Tonks brushed her hair gently with her hand.

Ginny rubbed her nose with the back of her hand, "he talked about you… and professor Lupin…" Tonks waited patiently and Ginny looked up, her brown eyes frightful, "he said he was going to kill you and destroy Professor Lupin-" She choked, "I was so scared he'd…"

"We're fine, Ginny." Tonks kissed the top of her head, rubbing the shaking girl's arms, "don't you remember what a good duelist Remus is? He'll never let anyone hurt me, us," Ginny nodded as Tonks wiped her tears with the pads of her thumbs, "did you see Remus?" Tonks glanced around, her instincts perked.

Ginny shook her head.

"Ginny," Tonks held her face in her hands, "You're a Gryffindor. I need you to be brave. Can you do that for me?" Tonks felt a swell of pride for her when Ginny nodded firmly. Tonks offered her hand and pulled Ginny to her feet. She intensified the light to her wand and shone it around their surrounding. Tonks didn't recognise this place at all. She could apparate out of here but Tonks wasn't leaving Remus, "Listen Ginny, I'm going to apparate you out of here-"

"What about Professor Lupin?" Ginny demanded thickly.

"I'm not leaving him. I'm just getting you out-"

"No!" Ginny scowled, "No! I'm staying!"

Tonks sighed; time was running short, "alright, you have your wand?" Ginny bit her lips and looked down, shaking her head slowly, "stay close then," Ginny nodded and gripped Tonks' hand firmly.

Trying to be as subtle as she could, Tonks glanced up at the sky. The sun seemed have already set. She swallowed. It was full moon tonight.

Thankfully, she couldn't spot the moon, yet. Either it has not risen, or it was merely concealed by the dark clouds.

"Remus?" Tonks called, cringing as her voice echoed around the forest. _Great…_she pursed her lips. She'd just revealed her location to any enemy which could be lurking around in the forest. If Mad-Eye were around, she was sure he would've rapped her over her head with his walking stick or, worst, his wand.

"Tonks look!" Ginny pointed ahead. Tonks squinted into the darkness, aiming her wand ahead. True enough, there was a limp figure sprawled out by a tree. Keeping a firm hold on Ginny's hand, Tonks approached cautiously, tugging Ginny behind her.

"Remus?" Tonks leant over and lowered her wand. Remus' ghostly pale visage met her eyes. She dropped to her knees and subconsciously tearing her hand from Ginny's. Gently, she cradled Remus' head in her arms, "Remus," She shook him, the fear overwhelming. He can't be…

Remus groaned, stirring, "Dora?" He muttered, looking at her with bloodshot eyes. His head was bleeding from a deep cut along his hair line.

She breathed an audible sigh of relief, nuzzling her face against his cold clammy cheek, "Oh thank merlin…"

"Dora…" he groaned again and Tonks realised he didn't groan because of his wounds.

And Ginny seemed to have caught on fast, "Tonks!"

She spun around and followed where Ginny pointed. The moon was up and full.

Her auror-self kicked in abruptly. Tonks placed Remus, whose face was contorted in pain and the effort to hold it in, down to the floor. She backed away, raising her wand, Ginny's sweaty hand in her own firmly.

Remus started to rise shakily from the ground. He looked up at her, his blue eyes wide with fear but not for himself; rather, for her. He seemed to be struggling with himself to speak but nothing came but a feral groan that didn't sound anything like Remus. Tonks watched as Remus' eyes began to darken and turn amber.

In that instant, she knew that the Remus she loved was gone.

"Ginny," Tonks turned to the girl beside her, grasping her pale and horrified face in her hands, "Do you trust me?"

Ginny nodded frantically, her pupils evidently dilated with fear in the light from Tonks' wand. Tonks offered her a strained smile.

She glanced back at Remus once. He was now hunched over, a feral cry leaving his lips. Tonks could see his spine arching to the point of cracking and shifting, tearing through the fabric. Hesitating, Tonks steeled her aching heart and ran with Ginny in tow. If Tonks didn't have Ginny with her, she'd probably stay and start setting up wards around Remus while he transformed. Not only could she protect Remus from running wild and getting himself hurt, she could also protect herself but she did have Ginny with her. And Tonks wasn't willing to take that risk with the Weasleys' only daughter.

Tonks had never worked with a feral werewolf before. She had no idea how strong he would be so she ran, sprinting as fast as she could and she was really fast. Ginny stumbled to keep up. Tonks may be the clumsiest Auror in history but when it came down to it, she could really push to and beyond her limits

Tonks forced her eyes closed and ran even as behind them, she could hear Remus let out a last humane cry of agony. The cry lasted for a while, ripping at Tonks' heart. She wanted to be there with him, to hold him as he took the pain the wolf gave him to his already battered body.

Soon, the cry turned into a howl.

Tonks stopped, turning around. Remus was nowhere in sight. She didn't know how far they have ran but outrunning a werewolf was insane; impossible.

"Tonks, apparate?" Ginny tugged on her arm, her eyes darting around the dark forest.

Tonks could've slapped herself for not thinking of it. She pulled Ginny into her embraced and flourished her wand. Nothing happened. They were still exactly where they were initially.

"What happened?" Ginny frowned, her eyes staying on the darkness behind them.

Tonks waved her wand around them, cursing. Someone had set up anti apparition wards but Tonks didn't want to tell Ginny, lest she lose her nerve. Thinking fast, Tonks pulled Ginny to a nearby tree and holding Ginny around her hip, Tonks hoisted the girl up, "Climb," Tonks grunted as Ginny scrambled up the tree. She supported Ginny's foot and pushed her up.

Ginny grabbed a thick branch and hooked her arm around it as she heaved herself up and into a crook on the tree, "Come on Tonks," Ginny reached down, offering a hand.

Tonks nodded, shoving her wand back into her robe and found a foothold in the bark of the tree. She hoisted herself up before grabbing Ginny's hand.

Then she heard a growl behind her. It was close, closer than Tonks would dare to believe. She glanced back in time to see a grey blur leap at her. Letting go of Ginny's hand, Tonks felt pain shot up her back sharply as her lower back collided with the root of the tree. She watched the wolf collide brutally with the tree.

She heard a yelp as its jaw smashed into the hard bark of the tree and it sank to the floor.

Tonks frantically felt among the folds of the robe for her wand as she scrambled back from the whimpering wolf.

"Tonks!" Ginny cried from her position on the tree. The wolf shook his head and rose on all fours. It growled, baring its teeth; its hackles rose as it glared at her. Tonks caught its amber eyes flickering towards Ginny on the tree.

"Ginny," Tonks said in an even voice, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Ginny needed it, "stay where you are," Her eyes not leaving the wolf in front of her.

"No!" Ginny baulked in revulsion at the idea. Tonks' heart swelled but pursed her lips.

"Ginny," she began warningly but before she could finish what she wanted to say, the wolf advanced a few paces towards Tonks, bristling as her scent swept over its snout. It snorted before crouching, as if to leap.

Suddenly, a heavy stone sailed through the air, nicking the wolf right on the top of his head. It yelped in surprise and spun around abruptly, growling at Ginny.

Tonks had no idea where Ginny got it but now there was trouble. Ginny had angered it.

"Ginny, stay where you are," Tonks warned, raising her wand at the back of the wolf. Her hand was trembling at the thought of what she was about to do. But she did it.

A jet of white shot out from her wand, nailing Remus—no, the wolf, in the back.

It yelped and roared at her. This time, it didn't waste any time. It leaped and Tonks ducked to the side, scrambling for her footing among the many leaves and twig that littered the floor. But she ended up on the bum eventually.

"Tonks!" Ginny cried.

"No, stay away Ginny!" Tonks snapped. She almost sighed in relief when the young Weasley hesitated. The wolf barked sharply at her as it made its way over to her. In its own way, the wolf was almost graceful in its lithe and soundless steps on the forest floor. How the wolf could walk so quietly was entirely beyond Tonks.

It sniffed the air and halted momentarily before it snarled, shaking its large head from side to side.

In one swift motion, the wolf reared back on its hind legs over her. Once Tonks got what it was about to do, she frantically scrambled away but one of its fore paw landed on her thigh. She cringed at the weight of it. Her wand was raised but she couldn't. She couldn't hurt him.

"No! Get away from her!" Ginny snapped and Tonks glimpsed the foolish young Weasley sliding down from the tree.

At Ginny's exclamation, Tonks felt the wolf tense, its sharp nails on its paws digging into the flesh of her thigh; just enough to draw blood. Glancing at Ginny picking up a log from the floor and slogging it up behind the wolf, Tonks began to struggle to dislodge her leg from beneath the wolf's paw.

The wolf, which has been watching her oddly, snapped its jaw in her face, growling in something akin to irritation and Tonks tensed.

* * *

It was confused. It finally found her; the source of the intoxicating scent it had been yearning for so long. But her form was not what it expected. It thought she was a wolf, like itself but she wasn't.

She wore a long maroon robe that concealed her scent only slightly. Most importantly, she walked on two legs and didn't have fur at all, apart from the long purples ones from her head.

It approached, sniffing the whole time as it watched her struggle to get a girl up the tree. The girl was of no interest to it; the girl smelt of flesh which made its mouth water at the thought of sinking its teeth into her shoulder. However, the scent it yearned to be close to was overwhelming, hindering its sense of smell. It couldn't take in the grassy smell of the forest around it or the earthly smell of the soil beneath its paws. It only smelt her.

Then, it saw her rising from the floor, up the tree. Instantly, it growled. It knew that it couldn't climb and that tree was way too high up for it to reach even if it stood on its hind legs. In an impulse, it leaped.

The pain was blinding. Starburst blotted out its vision.

It whimpered slightly, shaking its head to get rid of the starburst, before the smell of prey filled its nose. Its mouth watered and it growled. But it was hindered by that scent again. It still remembered the night it spent, hurting itself to try to dig up a trench to crawl under the wall that separated them. At that time, the scent had been so important to it. It had been mating season then and the wolf had wanted only her.

Initially, it had thought she was a wolf as her scent didn't suggest otherwise but its nose has deceived it; it could see it now. It wasn't mating season anymore but something stopped it from leaping at her as it would at its prey; at the girl up on the tree. Instead, it eyed her contemplatively.

Its ear twitched and perked at her voice as she conversed with the girl on the tree. It glanced towards his prey once before turning back to her decisively, its object of interest.

It approached her tensed but immobile form. She was sitting on the floor, looking back at it intently. It could smell her fear but every time it took a sniff, its nostril would only fill up with the scent of her; something that was already burnt into its memory and could provide comfort in time of uncertainty or even anger or even hunger; like now.

It snorted, mildly annoyed. It crouched, ready to leap for her if she should run. It was not done contemplating her. She puzzled it.

A sharp pain at the top of its skull broke it out of its confusion. Acting purely on instincts, it turned and growled, its stomach rolling in anticipation for the food that it was promised but another hit it on its back. Hunger driving it into frenzy, it turned and roared. Before it could stop itself, it was leaping through the air. But she scrambled and escaped, just slightly.

It approached her unmoving form. It could smell fear on her; that made it confident. When it was close enough, it reared back on its hind legs and clipped on of her thighs under its left paw.

Now she was close, unable to move with its heavy paw on her thigh. She was soft and warm. It could hear the pulsing of blood in her veins and the sound made it hungry.

It was deaf to the other who left the tree but once it heard her shriek, it tensed. Incidentally, its dangerously sharp claws dug into soft flesh. Under normal circumstances, the sight and smell of blood would drive the wolf insane, render it unstoppable till it had every last piece of the victim. But this time, the sight and smell stopped it.

She struggled, probably in pain, the wolf couldn't fathom but it wasn't about to let her go. It wanted her to stay.

It snapped its jaw in her face, halting her struggling. Satisfied, it raised another paw, placing it on her middle. She backed away as far as physically possible, fear thick in the air.

Lowering its head down to her face, it sniffed. She smelt familiar now, up close. A scent it couldn't remember; like something it had forgotten to smell just at this moment.

"Remus," She mumbled.

Its ears perked up and its eyes met hers. She had unmistakably grey eyes. They were both watching it intently.

It jerked as it felt a queer sensation on the side of its torso. Its fur kept it plenty warm but her hand felt like it was burning into his side. She rubbed its side gently, tousling its fur.

* * *

Tonks could feel his heart like this. It was beating, strong and palpable on her palm. The wolf was warm, unbelievably so.

"Remus," she repeated with finality in her voice that she didn't have the first time.

It didn't seem to comprehend what she was trying to say. Instead, it hunched over her head. She tensed but it had merely removed a dried twig from her hair, the twig clenched firmly and nimbly between its teeth.

Tentatively, Tonks brought her other hand forward, brushing it gently from between its eyes down its snout, to its nose. It looked unblinkingly at her, sniffing her palm.

The serenity shattered as Ginny screamed.

* * *

A/N: A cliffy! Yes, I know (: It was deliberate. This chapter is getting a little lengthy than my usual…or I think so. You all just have to wait (: till I get it all together again.

Hope this didn't come too late!

As a reader brought it up, I thought I'll just spell it out, in case any of you out there is confused. This is following the Half Blood Prince timeline BUT it is still AU and I reserve the rights to torture JK rowling's babies; it is fanfiction for a reason y'know (: Although, I do love the character she gave each character and is trying my best to get them right.

Alright, enough of my ranting. Thank you to all my reviewers of last chapter! You guys are awesome! Tt crews, HammersNStrings, Furionknight, Just a Cute Idea, Professor Pang, Sarah1996, Lupinesence and Neveraskquestions you all makes all the brain cracking worth while (:


	38. Chapter 38: Other Side

A/N: Hi there! In the midst of working on this chapter, I thought of a one shot and had it written and posted. Do have a look and give me some feedback about it! It's titled 'I love you too'. You can find it on my profile (: Thanks! Enjoy!

Chapter 38: The Other Side

The wolf instantly leaped off her, spinning around. It bristled in anger and Tonks squinted into the darkness to see another wolf approaching. This one had yellow eyes and fur, a darker grey then Remus did. The new wolf snarled.

Then it hit Tonks. It was Greyback. Everything this wolf did, down to the way it sauntered threateningly, screamed Greyback. Only now did Tonks truly embrace the idea of how much the Alpha werewolf actually gave himself up to the werewolf in him.

Greyback barked at the wolf; almost as if to flaunt his authority.

The comparison scared Tonks. Greyback looked like a much more mature than the wolf was, one with plenty of experience; whilst the wolf looked almost like an adolescent wolf. And Greyback was so much larger that the wolf looked almost scrawny beside him. In person, Remus had his height so he didn't look too weak but as a wolf, that didn't give him much leverage. Greyback had strong meaty limbs that tensed and coiled, ready to spring, as the wolf snarled and snapped its jaws, in reply to Greyback's bark.

"Ginny," Tonks whispered but Ginny seemed to have noticed. Quietly, Tonks beckoned for her to stay. Carefully, Tonks crept her way over to Ginny.

By now, Greyback's yellowish eyes were trained on the younger wolf in front of him, glaring. His sharp teeth were bared and bloody. But the wolf didn't look like tamed either. It barked and planted its paws firmly on the ground.

Tonks cringed as her feet landed on a pile of dried leaves that crackled under her weight.

Greyback's eyes snapped to her and she froze.

Tonks could've missed it in a blink of an eye. Snarling, the wolf leaped in between them, its haunches rose in an offensive stance.

Greyback seemed angered by such a display of what he probably deemed as disloyalty and insolence. Without preamble, Greyback leaped, soaring through the air with precision and experience that Tonks didn't see in Remus. Tonks' heart stuttered and stopped just as Greyback was almost upon Remus, his sharp claws in his paws glittering in the night.

Remus kicked off from the ground swiftly and repositioned himself so Greyback landed nimbly on the ground. With a bark, Remus darted forward and sank his teeth into Greyback' haunches, tearing into the flesh viciously. Greyback' roar, of surprise and pain, was deafening. The wolf shook his head from side to side, sinking deeper into the bloodied flesh but Greyback twisted around, snapping his jaws at the wolf's tail.

Tonks cried out in alarm at that but the wolf saw that. It side stepped and released Greyback from its jaws; moving a safe distance away. The wolf's jaw was bloody with Greyback's blood.

Greyback circled it, growling. He was limping now, his haunches bloodied and the raw flesh and muscles exposed. The wolf eyed Greyback carefully. It knew its shortcomings as compared to Greyback and seemed to be handling this with caution.

Tonks took this moment to cover the remaining distance between Ginny and her, hugging Ginny firmly.

"You're so stupid," Tonks snapped but Ginny wasn't paying attention.

A yelp caught her attention and she looked to see the wolf's side now bloodied, claw marks marring its flesh, cutting through fur.

Tonks raised her wand, the curse on her lips. She could say it and Greyback would be dead. She could have the shot now, while he was gloating. But Tonks hesitated again. Could she really have another's blood on her hands? Didn't she already have enough to keep them bloody for a while now…?

"Stupefy!" Numerous cries cut through the silence of the forest. Red jets of light erupted from around them. Tonks grabbed Ginny and pulled her down, shielding her head with her hand. She glimpsed Greyback snarling before darting away into the nearby bushes as fast as his injured body could go.

The wolf yelped as one hit it on its side as it ducked the other.

"Kingsley!" Tonks cried in relief as she glimpsed the Auror amongst the others. She looked around to see the Order Members; not Aurors around. She heaved a sigh as she stood.

"Ginny!" Arthur stumbled over, pulling his daughter into a clumsy hug.

Tonks smiled momentarily before she looked up to see the wolf glaring at the Order Members who surround it, each having it at wand point. It was set to pounce; Tonks could see it in its stance.

"Stop it!" Tonks snapped, darting forward. She planted herself in the aim of Kingsley's wand and grabbed his wrist, "I said stop,"

"Tonks!" Hestia hissed, her eyes staring at the werewolf in front of them.

"I know, he is good," She turned to Hestia, willing them to understand.

"Doesn't look so," Sturgis snapped in a low tone. Tonks glanced at the wolf to see it glaring at Kingsley, seemingly seeing him as the 'Alpha' of this group; bloodied teeth bared. It let out a menacing snarl; apparently not appreciating being shot at.

"It's Remus," She muttered, looking at Kingsley now. Her colleague's eyes searched her face.

"Not anymore, Tonks." Kingsley replied. Her shoulders sank as she closed her eyes in defeat. Her hand reached for her wand but Kingsley saw that. He shoved her to the floor. Loosing her balance, Tonks fell forward, hard.

She heard a bark from the wolf before it leaped. A jet of white light erupted from Kingsley' wand.

A yelp and everything was quiet.

"What have you done?" Tonks cried accusingly as she staggered to her feet to see the wolf lying limply amongst the dried leaves, just a small distance from Kingsley. She ignored the hisses of warning from the rest of the Order as she crumpled to her knees by the unmoving wolf. She ran her fingers through his thick fur coat, feeling the warmth comfortingly, "he'd never hurt us!" she glared at Kingsley through angry tears.

Kingsley stood over her, meeting her glare with a soft gaze, willing her to understand, "Tonks, you're blinded by the love-"

"It's true," Ginny's voice declared, just a tad shaky, "I saw it,"

Kingsley seemed to be speechless for a moment before he knelt beside her, "he'd never hurt _you_," He corrected.

* * *

"What is this?" Sirius demanded as he stomped down the stairs to see Kingsley and Arthur heaving a large furry werewolf through the door. The sight of his baby cousin staring grudgingly at Kingsley with her almond shaped eyes red and swollen didn't quell his anxiety.

"Don't just stand there," Kingsley grunted, sparing Sirius nothing more than a glance as they brought the werewolf into the kitchen. Sirius frowned but lent a hand. He heaved up some weight of the werewolf's mid-drift as Kingsley maneuvered through the door, "Tonks said you have a basement for him?"

"Yeah, Remus-" Sirius nodded before he froze and looked down at the werewolf, "Remus?" His eyes widened.

Arthur shrugged and panted, "Well, you didn't think we'll be bringing Greyback here, did you?" He paused to catch his breath as they heaved the wolf onto the table.

The wolf looked so large in the small kitchen, it was almost comical.

Tonks sniffled and shouldered her way roughly past Kingsley. Sirius watched with disbelief as she stroked the wolf's snout tenderly, pressing a kiss on its jaw line.

Sirius glanced at Arthur and Kingsley to see them watching him expectantly, "you guys go on. I can handle it from here," He patted Kingsley's broad shoulder. Upon both of their doubtful looks, Sirius rolled his eyes, "Padfoot, remember?"

Kingsley eyed him evenly before his gaze shifted to Tonks meaningfully. Sirius nodded curtly before both he and Arthur disappear into the corridor, closing the door quietly behind her.

Sirius watched as Tonks fondled with the wolf's ear with her fingers before running her hand through its thick fur along its side, "Hey Cuz," Sirius approached, placing a hand on her back.

"Hey," Tonks replied thickly, barely sparing Sirius a glance from her focus on the wolf.

"What happened?" Sirius took her other hand in his, "you can tell me, you know that," He smiled as she looked at him.

"We were looking for Ginny," She choked out, "we lost track of the time and we were trapped. Remus…he…" Tonks broke off, looking painfully at the wolf; as if recalling something horrible.

"How did he get this?" Sirius pointed to the clotted, but still raw, wounds of claws in its side.

"Greyback," Tonks replied bitterly, "They fought. Then Kingsley shot him," She ended with a look of murder in her eyes. It frightened Sirius to glimpse it in her. She was just a young woman; but that look was one that Bellatrix Lestrange constantly bore to her enemies. _Stop it!_ Sirius snapped inwardly, _she's your baby cousin!_

"Let's get him better than," Sirius blinked out of his reverie, whipping out his wand.

"I can't. I've tried…" Her voice sounded very small, her knuckles turning white as she gripped her wand firmer.

Sirius assured her with a smile before he waved his wand over the wolf's wound. It didn't look any different. The three cuts still marred its side and a slight burn on its chest.

"That's all we can do for now Nymphie," Sirius smiled as Tonks made a face at that nickname, "let's get him down into the basement." Without waiting for an affirmative, Sirius grabbed the wolf's forepaws and heaved, "A little help?" He grunted and Tonks smirked before taking wolf's hind legs.

Together, they finally got the huge werewolf safely tucked away on the threadbare mattress on the bed.

"Hey, you better get going now," Sirius patted her shoulder.

"Sirius," Tonks stood from her position by the bed, "it…he didn't attack me," She waited for the words to sink in; "he had me right where he could but he _didn't_. He just looked at me,"

_He's probably evaluating the best ways to have his meal…_Sirius thought but refrained his mouth from firing off, "Cuz, Remus is not in control. He doesn't have Wolfsbane and Merlin knows he'd rather die than have me, pay for it for him,"

"I know that," Tonks snapped, sick of the doubt, "he knows me. I can see it,"

"In what? His eyes?" Sirius muffled his snort, not wanting to provoke her, "Whoever it is, that's not Remus,"

"We'll see," Tonks shot back haughtily. And before Sirius could stop her, she flicked her wand in the wolf's direction. Instantly, the animal stirred.

Sirius' eyes widened in horror as he watch the large wolf growled and stirred; with his baby cousin in the room. Instantly, Sirius grabbed Tonks around her arm firmly, all but dragged her to the door.

She struggled, shrugging off his hold but Sirius was adamant. The wolf's amber eyes were almost luminous in the dark, save for the light flooding in from the crack in the door to the kitchen.

Sirius froze as the werewolf lifted its great head from the mattress to survey its surroundings. Tonks watched the wolf, gauging its every move. When she glanced at Sirius next, she only found a large black shaggy dog by her side that was half the size of the wolf.

The wolf eyed her before it turned to the dog.

Sniffing the air suspiciously, it rose, favouring its side; looking to be holding in a whimper. It left the mattress gingerly, watching the dog with a measured expression.

"Remus," Tonks spoke, startling the dog.

The wolf's ear perked and it turned to Tonks, sniffing at her subtly; making its way over. Instantly, the dog growled but that attempt at menace was overwhelmed when the wolf snarled in annoyance at the dog. Tonks could barely hold in a grin as the wolf's expression resembled Remus'; particularly when Sirius had felt the need to demonstrate his impeccable timing.

The dog was not fazed, he made to charge; intending to tackle the wolf but Tonks panicked. She took two hurried steps forward and closed the distance between her and the wolf before the dog could make his move. Her hand touched the top of the wolf's head between its ear and it flinched at the unfamiliarity of it all but it didn't snap at her, merely watched her like a hawk; it was unnerving.

"See?" Tonks threw over her shoulder to see the dog watching with an ear flattened in confusion. She laughed and the wolf twitched, startled at the noise, "don't change back though, he might not recognise your person. You can leave now, you're being the third wheel," she pointed out but the dog snorted and planted its haunches firmly on the floor, stating its point.

Tonks laughed, shrugging.

The wolf was watching her as she babbled nonsense. It didn't understand but her touch was lulling it to sleep. She nudged it gently back to where it left and it complied; sitting and placing its head on its folded paws. Her touch never left for long. The wolf's ears could hear the blood pulsing in her veins, its nose could smell her blood underneath her intoxicating scent and it could feel the warmth of her flesh. But its hunger was already quelled by that scent.

Anyway, something told him, she wouldn't taste as good as she smelt.

* * *

The pain in his limbs was blinding. He couldn't stop the groan which escaped his lips.

He heard a bark and the warmth by his side left him.

His limbs cracked with a sickening snap and reformed. His facial bones twisted and burned. His spine snapped resoundingly and reattached themselves. He was sure it was only a few seconds but it felt like forever. By the time it was done, he was left sprawled naked, panting and trying to bear the pain that surged through his body as he tried to move.

"Remus?"

The voice made him perk up. Against his better judgement, Remus felt his head lift from, what he just realised, the mattress. Tonks was standing just a distance from him. Her grey eyes were wide with concern. Her black hair hung limp from her head, her robes were torn in some places and was filthy. At her side, a black dog had its teeth on the sleeve of her robe firmly; seemingly pulling her back.

"Dora?" His voice was painfully hoarse. Instantly, she ran out of the basement, tearing her sleeve in the process on Sirius' teeth but she didn't seem to notice. The black dog watched her go, with Remus and soon, Sirius was the one sitting on the floor. Remus' heart sank. She just watched him transform… He felt a surge of hatred for Sirius-

The door was pushed open as Tonks descended the steps to the basement. She stumbled on the cold stone floor, spilling some of the water she held in a mug.

She sat down on the edge of the mattress, pressing the mug to his chapped lips. Remus watched her closely as he drank hungrily. She was holding the mug for him as he still hadn't found the strength in him to move his arms. Smiling, she reached out and Remus almost melted against her tender touch. His cheek felt numb, probably from the pain of transforming; but now it felt flushed.

"Slowly," She muttered as Remus gulped down the last mouthful of water. Dapping away the last of the water from his chin with her sleeve, Tonks gently pressed his head back on the mattress. Suddenly conscious, Remus reached blindly for the non-existence sheets to pull over himself. Sirius smirked as he loomed over them and threw a thick duvet on Remus' exposed lower half. Remus muttered to himself, blushing furiously as he tugged it over himself properly.

Tonks chuckled, nuzzling her face against the side of his, "such a prude," She murmured with her lips against his cheeks, "you have nothing to be ashamed of, Remus," She pressed a firm kiss to his cheek and Remus thought he could've floated right out of his body.

Sirius gagged and understandingly, removed himself from the basement.

They barely acknowledged him. Instead, Tonks drew her wand and sat up. She pressed it to the deep gouges of Greyback's claws on his side and began to clean the wound. Remus glanced at it and settled back to stare at Tonks, once in a while wincing.

"What happened, Dora?" Remus asked through gritted teeth as Tonks muttered a healing spell; which had little to no effect at all, "I remember passing out and…"

His voice trailed off and it took Tonks a moment to tear her attention from his wound to notice it.

"We were in the forest…and you…and Ginny," His eyes widened. They were the blue which Tonks loved. The flecks in them seemed dull, with fatigue, and perhaps, shock. Blood ran from his face, leaving his lips pale. To Tonks' horror, he grimaced and sat up altogether. His grimy and bloodied hands cupped Tonks' face tenderly, "are you alright? Ginny?" He beseeched, worry lining his face.

"I'm fine Remus. Ginny is too. She wasn't even close to you…" Tonks sighed, exasperated, "lie back down!" She snapped.

"No…you-" Remus glanced at her, giving her body a once over before he paused at her thigh. His body tensed and froze. She looked down to see some blood but it mustn't have been serious as she vaguely remembered running to the kitchen just moments ago.

"Remus…" Tonks rolled her eyes as she took his hands in hers, "you saved me. Both Ginny and I, that night. From Greyback,"

Remus was unmoving, his hand slipped out of hers and the tips of his fingers brushed her thigh, "What is this?" Remus' voice startled her. It was uncharacteristically cold, devoid of any emotion but when he looked up, she could see the torture in his eyes. He pried away her robe to reveal her wounded thigh. It wasn't bleeding. The three wound marks on her thigh have scabbed over and looked nothing more than abrasions, "did I-"

"Remus," She cut him off, cupping his cheeks and forcing herself on him, straddling him over his duvet, "you weren't intending to hurt me. You were curious and tensed. This is an accident,"

Remus snorted, "curious,"

"Listen to me!" She snapped, "Do you really think a feral werewolf would cause such a minor wound when running down its prey?" Tonks' heart stuttered painfully when Remus winced at her choice of words. He remained silent, seemingly pondering over her words, "Are you going to back out? Leave me? So what will it be?" Tonks braced herself for what the next words out of his mouth would be.

"I-" Remus frowned, pausing before he tilted his head to look at her, "I can't think with you sitting like this,"

Tonks almost laughed in relief but she stilled it and instead, stubbornly stayed where she was, "good, it isn't very good when you start thinking anyway," Remus, on his part, failed to make any effort to remove her but he didn't smile.

He swallowed, "I know I promised you I'd try; to be the man you know I am. To accept the other side of me and yet, not let it get in my way of what I do with my life," Remus' voice was thick with emotions and Tonks held her breath as he spoke again after a long pause, "I'm trying,"

Tonks smiled, "I know. You'd normally be running for the hills by now," He didn't smile and instead, glanced worriedly at her thigh. Tonks huffed, pressing a firm kiss to his forehead, "If I didn't know better, I'd ask you what you were looking at, Mr Lupin," She raised an eyebrow and grinned as Remus, as if on cue, blushed and averted his eyes, "y'know, if you want, you could treat it…"

Just a glance at her signature Black smirk was enough to disarm Remus of whatever defenses he had against her, "are you sure you're alright?" He kissed her deeply, breathing her in, "if I hurt you anywhere else, I wouldn't want you to hide it for me…" He shot her a meaningful look.

Tonks put on her best solemn expression, "I swear, nothing else but this,"

Remus studied her, as if trying to get through to a particularly difficult student. He finally relented to believe her and gently shoved her off of straddling his hips, "I told you I can't think like this," he muttered grudgingly. Tonks grinned as she fell back on the mattress beside him, lying on her back.

"And you can think with me like this?" She smirked and Remus looked at her; her black hair fanned out around her head on the mattress, her eyes wide with deceiving innocence, her legs over his, her lips slightly agape as she breathed… Remus sighed and closed his eyes in defeat.

"You'll be the death of me," He whispered before, seemingly unable to stop his urge to taste her lips, twisting around to kiss her but instead, he halted and winced, even groaning as he strained his wound in his side and his chest.

* * *

A/N: I hoped you enjoy that. This chapter is more of fluff? I guess you can put it like that (apart from the werewolf fight). I thought you all needed that from all the angst in the previous chapters.

_Huge thanks to the reviewers of last chapter: Guest, HammersNStrings, tt crews, Professor Pang, Sarah1996 and Lupinesence._

_Honestly, reviews make me ridiculously happy!_

**Please do leave a review for this chapter as well! **

**Just short but shameless advertisements again, please do check out my one-shot 'I love you too'. It's also RL/NT! (: **


	39. Chapter 39: Again

Chapter 39: Again

Weeks passed and Remus woke every night, covered in his own sweat. Then he would proceed to stay unnaturally still as Dora turned over in her sleep and snuggled closer to him. He held his breath till she stopped stirring; remaining asleep. After which, he lay in bed, quietly shaking from his nightmare.

He would always see Dora, in his dreams, dressed in her Auror robes but she was taller than him by quite a bit than what he was used to. When he looked down, he would see paws instead of shoes. Then he would take a customary sniff of his surroundings, it brought the bloodlust, so strong that it turned his vision red. All the time, she would just stand there, smiling at him; throwing looks at him as if they were sharing a private joke. He adored her so much. With that realization, he would watch as he leaped and cut her down in cold blood. She barely ran, she only stood there, smiling at him.

He could taste the coppery tang of her blood on his tongue and when he looked down, he would wake.

Everyday it was the same dream. As he pondered it, Remus would take occasionally glances at her to assure himself that she was here; safe and alive…_in the arms of a monster_, he would think.

_Stop it! You promised Dora!_ He would reproach himself but his mind would still wander.

The lack of sleep and constant paranoia was beginning to take its toll. Remus didn't go to extend of snapping at Dora when she was particularly chatty; that wasn't him but he had inevitably pushed her away. He spoke less and listened more, hiding basic things about his life from her, even what he ate for lunch. His replies to her became vague.

She would notice but didn't probe, merely smile at him and slip her arm through his, giving him a kiss.

Remus was surprised how effective her non-probing method was compared to what she did previously; to continuously speak to him about the issue. Every smile she gave him assured him that this was truly alright; they were good together. Every kiss brought a pang of shame to his heart; how he could doubt what they had, as she reminded him that she loved him.

When that happens, Remus would find himself kissing her back, feeling the love he bore for her and pouring everything he had into it. It was so absolute, always so right…but at night, his fears came back and haunted him-

"Remus," Dora mumbled.

He was startled. She rarely, if not, never, woke in the middle of the night unless called. But a glance at her told him she was still sleeping, merely speaking in her sleep. Her fingers fisted his shirt and her leg shifted to drape over his, her body curled possessively around him.

Remus smiled and relaxed; in awe at the effects Dora had on him. He found himself tangling his legs with hers, his arms bringing her closer to him and giving her a firm kiss on the top of her head. He felt her nuzzle his neck and hummed, satisfied.

* * *

"Mum?" Dora called as she let herself into the house, "Dad?" The house was quiet but Tonks was used to it. Andromeda had zero tolerance for rowdiness in her house so Ted confined himself to his study when he wanted to be such.

"Nymphadora!" A fair haired man walked down the stairs, his face lighting up as he laid his eyes on his daughter. Tonks made a face at the name but went forward to embrace her father nonetheless, "about time you visited!" Ted hugged his daughter and whispered, "Your mother was that close to demanding to see you by visiting you at work,"

Tonks' eyes widened in horror but kept quiet; for good reason.

"I see that you have not forgotten your parents after all," Andromeda Black stood at the entranceway of the kitchen, arms crossed. At first glance, she seemed hostile but there was a soft look in her eyes.

"Mum," Tonks rolled her eyes and smiled, embracing her mother. When she pulled away, Tonks smiled at both of them before speaking, "Well…Mum, Dad, meet Remus Lupin," She gestured to the man standing awkwardly in the middle of the sitting room. He was wearing his best shirt and coat, losing the tie only when Dora yanked it off him, choking him. He even straightened them out with a spell.

He smiled, offering a hand, "Nice to meet you Mr Tonks, Mrs. Tonks," Remus approached Ted and they shook hands, nodding. Tonks was impressed with his performance; judging by how nervous he was, she thought he was about to keel over and vomit on the front porch. But now, he stood tall, an easy smile and a confident look in his mesmerizing blue eyes. They evidently differed from just after the full moon. They were brighter and if Remus were in an exceptionally good mood; which was often around her, they would emit a mischievous glint that was accompanied with a sexy smile. That effectively disarmed her all the time and no amount of constant vigilance could save her.

She snapped out of it to realise that Remus was in the middle of telling Andromeda about himself; his age for starters.

Tonks glanced nervously at her mother, knowing if there were objections, her mother would be the likely party to disagree but Andromeda nodded and listened; her expression revealing nothing.

"Well," Andromeda clasped her hands together and looked at her daughter, expectantly.

Tonks glanced at Remus and drawing her courage from him, she stood tall and spoke, "he's the man I'm going to marry,"

Ted choked on nothing, Andromeda raised a slender brow (and Remus realised where Nymphadora got it from) and Remus could've staggered to the floor and died. That was the most tactless way he could think of to announce to parents that their daughter is dating a werewolf and to assure them that she would be safe.

Tonks chuckled, filled to the brim with happiness and oblivious to the negative responses. She took Remus' hand and smiled at her mother; almost challenging her to object.

"That's-" Andromeda looked as though she can't decide whether to smile or frown, "sudden-"

"Preposterous!" Ted said it, the exact same time his wife finished her sentence.

Tonks turned to her Dad, startled. Ted Tonks hardly ever yelled but he was now.

"I will not have you marry him! How long have you known him?" Ted Tonks' face turned beet red, with anger or frustration, Remus didn't know.

"Ted…" Andromeda sighed, "What your dad meant to say is…are you two sure about that? Marriage is-"

Remus glanced at Tonks and seeing that she wasn't going to correct the situation, he would have to step in; even if it risk upsetting her, "Mr Tonks, we aren't getting married yet. You might have misunderstood,"

A look of hurt crossed Tonks' features and Remus felt it in his own heart. He squeezed her hand, worried and Ted heaving a sigh of relief.

"So…" Ted eyed both of them, "what is this?"

"We're together!" Tonks glared at her father. Father and daughter locked eyes momentarily before Andromeda cleared her throat in a dignified manner but awkward. Obviously, Andromeda has never had the experience of being caught up in an argument between Tonks and her father.

"Let's all settle for dinner, shall we?" Andromeda proposed and Tonks nodded curtly, still staring at her father, "Ted dear, could you help me in the kitchen?" Andromeda asked purposefully and nudged her husband. Ted glanced at Remus with disapproval before slipping into the kitchen after his wife.

Remus sighed, turning to Tonks. She looked livid. Her hair was tomato red, her cheek flushed and her back rigid. If not for the tomato red hair, Tonks looked like a split image of Bellatrix but Remus held his tongue. He squeezed her hand instead and cupped her cheek; it was warmer than usual. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning to look into his eyes, "I'm sorry," She choked out, "that was…bad," She ended lamely.

He forced a smile, "Amongst us two, I think I should be the one apologising; ruining a perfect family gathering like that," He raised a brow in an attempt to lighten the mood and coax a smile from her but failed.

"With what? Your presence?" Tonks spat bitterly, "it wouldn't be much of a family gathering without you…" she looked down at the floor and rested her head on his shoulder. His heart warmed snugly as he took in her words.

Remus kissed her head, stroking her hair gently and watched from the corner of his eye as it turned back to faded pink. A smile slipped onto his lips; he loved her pink hair, her energy, her passion. He couldn't help himself when he kissed her head again.

Tonks giggled and he felt her press a kiss into his shoulder, "You spoil me," her voice muffled into his shoulder.

"I love you," He corrected in a whisper, pulling her in close for a firm hug. She parted her lips to reply but Andromeda stepped out of the kitchen, followed by a glowering Ted Tonks. Tonks didn't hide her disappointment as Remus loosened his hold on her and dropped his arms to his side altogether. She stubbornly kept her arms loosely around his neck, ignoring the furious sideways glances from Ted.

Dinner was painfully awkward. Andromeda made steak for dinner and Remus dug in in a dignified manner that could rival Andromeda. Tonks wolfed down the steak, all the while glaring at her father. Remus mused that among the two of them, she looked more the werewolf. Ted glared at his daughter as well, occasionally sparing one or two glares for Remus. Andromeda ate her steak with intense concentration, looking up only when absolutely necessary.

"Would anyone like dessert?" Andromeda spoke up awkwardly as one by one, they finished their dinner and sat in front of their empty plates, unmoving as father and daughter still threw each other glares once in a while. Remus turned to Tonks, squeezing her hand under the table to coax her to give in but Ted caught that and glared at Remus, his nostrils flaring, "Ted?" Andromeda cleared her throat meaningfully, not taking being ignored very well.

"Yes, please," Ted Tonks replied his wife without a glance at her. Obviously Andromeda has never seen this side of Ted Tonks before, for she frowned and sighed before prodding him.

"Go and get my cake please," She said softly, "It's in the fridge,"

Ted glanced at his wife once and stood up to go. When he entered the kitchen, Andromeda leaned forward and pinched her daughter's cheek firmly but lovingly. Tonks pulled away, scowling.

"Wipe that scowl away, Nymphadora," Andromeda snapped but Tonks looked away and pouted.

"Dora," Remus squeezed her hand again. He was glad when she turned her hand around to hold his before looking up and smiling at her mum.

"Forgive your father," Andromeda forced a smile, "he's only very protective of you," she looked at Remus as she finished.

"I understand," Remus nodded and Andromeda smiled.

"Give him time," She urged both of them as Ted Tonks carried the cake to the table with plates.

* * *

"I would never think Mum would consent…" Tonks mumbled as she cuddled against Remus' side snugly.

Remus managed an indecipherable noise of acknowledgement.

"I thought she would be the first to object,"

Remus opened his eyes and stared at the faded plaster on the wall, "Your mother didn't exactly give us her blessing. But she has gotten over the many prejudices she faced when she married your father. I imagined it wouldn't be difficult for her to get over this one, not like how it would be for your father. Your mother understood, that's the least she could offer to this. But your father…"

"He didn't feel how it's like to love the wrong person who feels so right. Mum has always been right for him. In the eyes of mum's family though, he's the wrong man," Tonks picked a loose thread on his pajamas as she pondered, "He's a good man though,"

"That I don't deny, Dora. Never,"

Tonks mumbled her acknowledgement and shifted to kiss his collarbone gently, "I won't let my dad stop us," She looked up to look into his eyes but he was staring blankly into the fire crackling in the fireplace. Frowning, she cupped his cheek in her hand and turned him to face her, "did you hear me?" willing him to respond.

He averted her eyes and nodded mutely. She watched him expectantly for a reply. Wetting his lips, Remus spoke hoarsely, "the meeting's starting, and we better get down,"

She watched him stand and walk out, forcing a smile at her. Sighing, Tonks gathered her wand from the table by the couch and made her way down.

The members were still filing in, their mood sober and solemn. Tonks entered the kitchen to see Sirius sitting on one side of Remus and Arthur on the other. Sirius caught her eye and gestured if she wanted his seat. She glanced at Remus to find him staring blankly at the table and shook her head with a slight smile at Sirius. He frowned but said nothing.

Instead, Tonks sank into a seat beside Hestia. Just as she settled into her seat, McGonagall walked briskly into the kitchen, followed closely by Snape. He has had his lips pursed as usual and his face pale.

"Thank you for joining us today at the meeting," McGonagall started, her face pale as well, her voice uncharacteristically shaky, "As Dumbledore will be absent from the school compounds for the next few days, Dumbledore would like it if the Order would guard the school for these few days," She paused and everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Normally, Mad-eye would have interrupted to highlight the places where they would be positioned, based on his experience with the Aurors. He would also be the one to set up the guard roster for everyone who volunteers.

Kingsley cleared his throat and spoke. Tonks looked down the whole while, staring at her fists in her lap. He was doing a good job planning it out while everyone added their ideas into it.

"So there would be 3-4 people patrolling the school at a time," Kingsley concluded, "may I have some volunteers so that I can get out the roster for this week," A few hands shot up, including Remus and Sirius. Kingsley wrote all the names down, shooting Sirius a look before skipping him altogether to write down Bill's name onto his parchment. After a short while of deliberation, Tonks, too, raised her hand.

"Nymphadora," McGonagall spoke and Tonks winced at her name, "would not be available for guard duty, Kingsley, could you please scratch her name off the list,"

"Why not?" Tonks protested.

"Snape will have a word with you later," She said in that tone which indicated firmly that there is to be no more further argument about this issue till later. Tonks rolled her eyes, looking away. She knew clearly what it would be about the moment it was Snape who had to deliver the news.

Tonks swallowed, following Snape. Snape was his usual dull and stiff self; McGonagall was uncharacteristically pale as Tonks followed Snape out into the corridor.

"Where has Dumbledore gone?" Tonks spoke, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

Snape looked Tonks dead in the eye, unfeeling as usual, "the Dark Lord has sent Draco to kill the headmaster,"

"What?!" Tonks' eyes widened as she hissed.

"You are to help him," Snape continued as if Tonks hasn't interrupted, "The Dark Lord himself commands it,"

Tonks froze. The last encounter she had with Voldemort was when he invaded her mind with the Imperius curse, commanding her to kill Mad-Eye. She successfully broke free of the curse and that was the last she heard of him. Her blood ran cold as she remembered that night. So full of pain and yet warmth for her. She has never seen her mentor so human for her, as he had been so that night. He comforted her, worried for her and fussed over her even.

"Isn't he going to kill me?" Tonks muttered.

"The Dark Lord was infuriated with your failure. But he is even more so at Greyback's 'betrayal', of acting without the Dark Lord's orders," Snape's eyes were cold and black but Tonks knew it was the result of years of being a spy for both sides, it took its toll.

"Greyback wasn't acting on Voldemort's orders?" Tonks frowned. She had thought Greyback was Voldemort's fallback in case she failed. Then she recalled what Greyback had said, _I want you to fight for __us. _She had apparently misunderstood him. Tonks had thought he meant 'us' as the death eaters but now she understood, it meant the werewolves, "Greyback wanted a rebellion?" Tonks wondered aloud.

Snape pursed his lips and Tonks thought he wasn't going to entertain her blind conclusion but he replied, "No. The Dark Lord gave Greyback more benefits than he has ever had. You could be his trump card,"

"That does not make any sense, I'm useless," Tonks scoffed.

"Whatever the case of this matter, the Dark Lord's orders are clear. He knows of your capture and your escape and expects no less of you, than to follow his orders," Snape snapped impatiently.

Tonks scowled at being ordered around, "I am not going to kill Dumbledore!" She spat.

"You are to assist Draco, not kill the Headmaster,"

"What difference does that make?" Tonks glared at Snape's pale and unfeeling eyes, "well…at least we have to warn the others-"

"That'll kill us all. The Dark Lord is not a fool. You are to assist Draco. That is your order. Headmaster said you are to obey the Dark Lord, whether you choose to or not, it is your decision and none of my concern. We set off on the night after tomorrow from Lestranges' mansion," Snape sneered before turning around and walking silently out the door. Tonks stared after him, her fists shaking.

She has finally got out of the hellhole, only to go back, apparently. Unless, she doesn't-

"Hey," A gentle voice touched her arm. She closed her eyes, relishing his touch. His hand rubbed her arm warm before turning her around to look at him. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with concern and Tonks looked into them, still feeling lightheaded as he gazed at her, "are you alright?"

"I-" Tonks wanted to blurt everything out but hesitated, remembering Snape's words. The potions masters might be cold but he is clever and Tonks knows it'll do her good and everyone some good if she listened to him, "I have another mission…"

Remus' eyes turn cold, like sapphire and it scares Tonks, "Like what?" he grasped her shoulders firmly but gently, "after that, I'm not sure I can bear to let you out of my sight for more than a second," Tonks had a pained expression as she recalled her recent experiences. Remus sighed, pulling her into his embrace where she felt protected, safe and warm.

"Remus," She whimpered, burying her face into his shoulder as he squeezed her tighter in his embrace.

* * *

"What?" Remus frowned in disapproval, "Why?" He looked to be struggling to contain his anger as he spoke through gritted teeth.

"I need a word with him about the upcoming mission," she touched his arm,

Remus twisted around to look at her from the couch, "I don't want you near him. He's not good,"

"I know, but I need a word with him," Tonks sighed, looking away from his pleading eyes and at the lapels of her trench coat, "I'll be back, very soon." Remus looked unconvinced. It is after all the first time she would be leaving his side since the incident with Moody. Tonks felt the fear creeping back in at the thought of leaving Remus, not knowing when she'll see him again but she knew she had to leave.

When she had popped into the library, dressed, all in black, Remus had raised a brow at her attire. The lack of color looked ridiculous on her and she didn't manage to pluck up her courage to tell him she had to leave his side before tonight. He dropped his book by his side on the couch and straightened up as she strode across the room and into his lap. Telling him she had to leave for the night, and to go to Snape nonetheless, was painful for them both. Remus' jaw clenched and his arms which are snaked around her waist tightened almost possessively.

Despite the comfort, Tonks stood from his lap to leave only to have him pleading at her with his eyes and his words, of which he is so adept with.

When Remus didn't reply to her evident insistence to leave and averted eye contact with her, she leaned over the couch and kissed him gently. He reciprocated, slow at first, then his arms found their way around her waist and she was back into his lap, her fingers tangled in his hair. When Tonks was running out of air, she made to draw back but Remus held her in, refusing to let her leave.

Just as she was beginning to entertain the thought that Remus would rather suffocate her with his sweet kiss than let her go, Remus drew back reluctantly, his breathing quickened but quiet.

Tonks examined his expression. Remus loved her but he was never the overly protective type. She had merely told him she was dropping by at Spinners End and he needn't follow. To draw such a violent objection from him, Tonks was both touched and puzzled. It's like he knew what she was going to tonight.

When he locked eyes with her, Tonks stopped speculating, mesmerized.

"It's getting late, if you're going to go, you better go," his voice was strangely strangled. Tonks forced a smile at him through her puzzlement, touched his cheek one last time and plant a kiss where her hand had been a moment ago, and she stood and left without a backward glance.

The night was a cold night, chilly. She tugged her coat around herself tighter as she made her way across the streets, to the apparition point. Glancing back at Grimmauld Place, Tonks slipped into the alley and apparated away before she could dash back into Grimmauld Place and into Remus' arms.

The Lestranges mansion looked charming in a very 'Black' fashion. Tonks morphed her hair black while she strode up the lane, ignoring the fear she felt at the thought of facing the Dark Lord again after she had so openly defied him.

There was a crowd at the porch. Some of them had already donned their masks. When Tonks heard a cackle, she rolled her eyes. The small crowd parted and Tonks could see her Aunt sauntering down the steps to join the others.

"Nymphie is back," She sneered but Tonks turned away, refusing to humor her Aunt this time. She realised Snape was nowhere to be found and Draco too. In the crowd, there were Gibbons, Alecto and Amycus Carrow, Yaxley, Thorfinn Rowle and Greyback. The werewolf was sneering at her; Tonks kept her poker face and drew her wand.

With an unseen signal, all the Death eaters but Greyback, Tonks and Bellatrix put on the death eater mask and half apparated into the night sky in a smoke of black. Tonks rolled her eyes, knowing her Aunt, leading this attack apparently, did so intentionally.

Tonks was vaguely conscious of her white half apparition form in a sea of black, ignoring the spats and sneers she got from the death eaters whom she flew beside. They arrived at Diagon alley much too quickly and Tonks frowned, curious as to why they came here. Her throat gone dry as she glimpsed Greyback looking about lecherously, spotting a lone woman walking down the deserted lane. He hissed but Bellatrix was not about to slow down for Greyback to indulge. They slipped into knockturn alley and walked straight into Borgin and Burkes.

Borgin nodded at Bellatrix and paled considerably as he took in the number of death eaters striding into his shop. Tonks lowered her face and slipped pass him unnoticed. She has been here before as an Auror, doing their routine checks for sightings of Dark wizards and Borgin would no doubt recognize her after how she had made a fool out of him on a particularly boring day at paper work followed by being assigned to doing such a beginner's work.

They stopped in front of a cabinet. Tonks watched as Bellatrix stepped into the cabinet and vanished, followed by the others one by one, Tonks being the last after a backward glance at Borgin. His eyes widened momentarily but Tonks felt herself being sucked into the cabinet. It was a short while before everything stabilized. She blinked, slightly disorientated and struggling to keep her balance and walk ahead, right behind Greyback.

She realised she was walking out of the cabinet and at the entrance, was her cousin, Draco Malfoy. His young face was paled and he looked scared out of his wits. His eyes widened as he saw her. Tonks ignored him, watching Bellatrix frolic about the room in sheer delight as if she had already killed Dumbledore. Draco wasted no time, slipping pass all the Death Eaters and looking out the door of what Tonks realised, was the room of requirement. She had had her shares of shenanigans in this place.

"Well?" Bellatrix demanded impatiently.

"There are some people keeping guard in the corridor," Draco muttered, terrified when Bellatrix shoved him aside, drawing her wand. When Tonks glimpsed that it was Ron, Ginny and Neville, she knew she had to speak up.

"There are Order Members patrolling the castle. Attacking the kids will raise the alarm and we'll be stuck in a duel all the way up to the headmaster's office," Tonks said coldly, "I doubt that is the quick and clean work the Dark Lord wants."

Bellatrix shot her a dirty look, charging forward and shoving her face into Tonks' face while Tonks stood her ground against her Aunt's rage, "You have no rights to speak of the Dark Lord," She hissed venomously.

Tonks stared at her blankly.

Behind Bellatrix, Draco dug into his pocket and pulled out two dark black pearls which Tonks recognized; Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, she had seen Fred and George fiddling with it at the table in Grimmauld Place.

Draco opened the door by a crack and tossed it into the corridor. Tonks heard Ron cry out in shock before the whole corridor was engulfed in darkness. Draco ran out of the room while the corridor is engulfed in darkness and the death eaters followed. Tonks went last, shooting worried glances back into the darkness. However, when she heard the kids running off the alert the Order members on patrol, she managed a smile of relief before dashing off after the death eaters.

Tonks thought they were making their way to the headmaster's office but they were going the wrong way. Whatever it is, Tonks drew her wand and walked briskly down the corridor with the others, Bellatrix taking the lead. Greyback was just a step after her.

They turned the corner of the upper floors and Tonks heard a shout from the opposite end of the corridor just before Bellatrix flicked her way, sending a curse sailing towards the other end of the corridor, ending with a loud explosion.

Tonks held her breath as she too took part in the battle. At the opposite end of the corridor, she saw Bill and Remus. Her breath caught in her throat and she was momentarily stunned at the prospect of being up against Remus.

"Gibbon, the Dark Mark!" One of the death eaters barked at Gibbon who was standing closest to the side. Instantly, Gibbon leaned out an open window and shot a green jet into the dark sky. It lit up, forming the Dark Mark, the skull eerily similar to the Dark Lord's own bald and white head. Tonks glanced at it, scowling before parrying a stray spell away.

It was chaos.

Bellatrix was shooting spells at Remus relentlessly but Remus was holding his own at the moment, being heavily outnumbered. Bill was up against Yaxley and the Carrows at the same time, barely holding on. Tonks rolled her eyes at Rowle who had turned into a trigger happy dunderhead, casting Killing curse in every direction all over the place. She rolled her eyes as a killing curse was shot straight towards her. She leaned to her side and the killing curse brushed past her ear.

Behind her, Gibbon barely had the time to scream before the killing curse hit him full in the face. He sank to the floor as Rowle scowled at her.

"Are we fighting them or each other?" Tonks demanded, annoyed.

"Whose side are you on?" Rowle countered, shooting a purposeful glance at Remus.

Tonks pinched her lips together; about to make the most painful decision when Bellatrix shrieked and pointed to the staircase of the astronomy tower, what she was shrieking about was unable to the heard over the racket.

Bellatrix made to dash up the steps and Tonks followed. She glimpsed Yaxley also running up the steps behind her.

As she ascended, she glanced back at Remus who was dueling the Carrows with Bill now. Behind Bill, she saw Greyback, poised to leap. She leaned over the side of the spiraling staircase to scream a warning but it was too late. Greyback pounced onto Bill and took him down. Remus reacted immediately and Tonks did what she could.

"Impedimenta," she muttered and didn't wait to watch the spell sail down to hit one of the Carrows on the top of his head but heard a scream.

They scaled the steps and there was Dumbledore, standing all alone at the edge of the Astronomy tower. He looked pale and ghastly in the moonlight, like a ghost. Draco Malfoy had his wand trained onto the Headmaster, his wand hand trembling. Dumbledore's own wand was nowhere to be seen.

"Do it Draco!" Bellatrix hissed in her nephew's ear. Draco trembled more violently. Tonks stood her ground, a million thoughts running through her mind. She could attempt to defend Dumbledore but if she fail, it'll mean both their lives but if she had succeeded, then what-

"Nymphadora," Dumbledore spoke and Tonks looked up, her back stiffening. His brows furrowed and on the outside it would look like he was sighing his disappointment for her betrayal but to Tonks, he was showing disapproval for the array of ideas that presented themselves in her head. She blanched in disgust at the thought of watching Dumbledore die without doing anything.

"Draco!" Bellatrix placed a hand on his shoulder to egg him on.

_Stop it!_ The words were on the edge of his tongue but Snape came. He stood beside Draco, his wand raised. For a moment, hope blossomed in Tonks' chest at his arrival but it sank just as quickly as it rose when she realised Snape's wand was trained on Dumbledore. _No… Snape would not betray the Order, ever._

"Severus," Dumbledore's voice was croaky, befitting of his weariness, as he spoke in a pleading voice that Tonks had never heard before, "Please…"

_Snape would find a way out of this; he's done this a million times._ Tonks comforted herself to stop herself from jumping into action. She had no idea what to do. _Is this a ploy between Snape and Dumbledore to escape this? Has Snape turned against us? If so what should I-_

"Avada Kedavra,"

The two words turned Tonks' heart to stone, "No!" She breathed as she watched the jet of green from Snape's wand bury itself into Dumbledore's chest and strike him backwards into the dark sky. Tonks bolted forward, making a move to grab a hold onto Dumbledore even though deep down she knew he's dead. The killing curse is quick and merciful like that, no pain, no time to plead or scream once casted.

All the same, she lunged out to grab him with all her might, throwing herself out the edge of the astronomy tower.

* * *

A/N: Hello! I truly apologise for the late update on this one, and a bad update to top it up. It has been a busy year for me truly and my exams will be starting from tomorrow onwards and go on for a month or so. I kinda rushed this up, hopefully no one hates me yet?

Anyway, by the time my exams are over and my plot bunnies come back to me, it would probably be around end November but no promises even then as I'm really having a huge block on how to continue this story! So a more probable update would be around mid-December of end December! Hopefully in time for Christmas!

Thanks for reading !Your reviews to the last chapter is really amazing and I'm so glad you all loved it! Thank you! please drop me a review about this chapter, it would mean the world to me, with all the exam stress piled up and all, it'll be good to hear your opinions about this chapter!


	40. Chapter 40: Love

Chapter 40: Love

Tonks felt a whiplash as a large hand closed around her arm, holding her back.

She watched in terror as Dumbledore's body sailed through the night, towards the fast approaching ground. His eyes were open and seemed to be looking up at her, a slight hint of a smile on his face.

She sank to her knees by the edge of the tower as his body hit the floor below. Tonks closed her eyes and felt tears welling up but she was shoved to her feet and dragged down the stairs. She glanced to her side to see that it was Snape holding her. Red clouded her vision and she gave him a right hook to the face. He stumbled, letting go of her in surprise that quickly turn to a snarl. Tonks glared at him and they fixed eye contact for a split second. His eyes widened as they looked at her and there was a flash of pain in his eyes but Tonks was too mad to ponder over that. Snape spun on his heels without a word and walked down the steps, one hand on Draco's shoulder.

"Why? Why, Snape?" Tonks cried, her voice echoing down the hollowed circular stairs. The voice was pained and raw, not sounding like her own. Suddenly, she felt someone run into her as he was running down the steps. She stumbled, almost falling down the steps but as she regained her balance, she saw Harry. In his hand, he clutched his wand as he gave chase. Harry shot a full body bind curse at Yaxley and the burly death eater froze up and dropped motionless on the floor.

Tonks raced after Harry, ducking curses as she ran through the battle. The Aurors who were on duty were all engaged in the battle. However, Tonks could see that the death eaters were retreating, probably instructed by Snape or Bellatrix.

Tonks saw Harry slip into a secret passage which Tonks has used numerous times for her shenanigans during her time at Hogwarts as well and she considered going in after Harry but she decided against it and ran to catch up with the retreating death eaters. If Harry was seeking vengeance, he'll be there.

She caught up to them at Hagrid's hut in time to see Rowle setting Hagrid's hut on fire.

"Stop!" Tonks snarled, grabbing Rowle by his shoulder and shoving him aside. He scowled at her and made to argue.

"Get off the grounds now, we're done here," Snape droned and Rowle sneered at Tonks before he and the rest of the death eaters raced off the grounds and out the gates.

"Snape!" Harry roared. Tonks turned and saw Harry get struck down by the Carrows from the back but he recovered and shot two impedimenta jinx to knock them over before narrowing down on Snape again. His eyes were burning. Tonks had never seen Harry so mad. Harry shot at Snape a flurry of spells but Snape read them all a split second using legilimency before Harry shot them.

When Snape made to attack Harry, Tonks grabbed him by his wand hand, her hands around his wrist.

"Are you traitor?" She hissed. Snape shook her off coldly but Tonks felt something hit her side, hard and she was threw back a couple of metres. Her head hit a rock on the ground hard, sending starburst into her eyes.

"Harry," she muttered as her eyes saw a blurry figure of Harry towering over her. When her eyes cleared, she saw his wand and from the corner of her eye, saw Snape on the ground beside her.

Harry turned his glare onto her, "Tonks, why didn't you help him?" Harry demanded, his voice thick with mourning.

"I-," Tonks averted the boy's eyes and looked down. Harry was right. She should've helped him when she could. She had let Dumbledore die before her eyes, because she trusted Snape.

Snape flicked his wand before either Tonks or Harry could react and Harry was thrown back. Tonks leaped to her feet as Snape did.

"Kill me then! Kill me like you killed him, you coward!" Harry roared in anger and pain, scrambling to his feet.

"Don't call me a coward!" Snape roared, shooting curses at Harry.

Harry parried away one and Tonks parried away another as she stepped in front of the boy.

Snape paused momentarily.

"You killed him," Tonks stated and saw no manner of remorse in his eyes. Then she felt her rage, "he trusted you, he helped you,"

"No," Snape sneered but before he could continue, Tonks shot two curses in succession which Snape parried away and dove to his side to duck the other. He pursed his lips before wordlessly shooting spells as her as she did him. Snape's curses came quick but Tonks held her own against him. Her rage fuelled her magic, her Dark magic. Beside her, Harry added his spells to her own. Snape snarled and flicked his wand at Harry. Tonks casted a quick wordless shield charm and a jet of green escaped her wand towards Snape.

Tonks saw the first look of surprise cross Snape's face before he tumbled to duck the spell. Watching her ally tumble across the dirt struck a sense of guilt in Tonks but she advanced on him. She casted a full body bind quickly but Snape rolled away from that, his retaliation spell cutting open the cuff of her robe, drawing blood.

"I'm still an Auror, Snape," She snarled, parrying away his second spell and firing two more back at him.

"Are you?" He retorted calmly.

Just then, her mind exploded with a world of pain that send her to her knees. At first, she'd thought Snape had hit her with a Cruciatus curse but it was different. Her head felt like it was going to split into two.

"Nymphadora," The serpentine features swam into her mind, hissing in her ear, "Why do you betray me?" The pain was blinding. She lost sight of Snape and the burning hut in front of her. She lost grip on her wand. She didn't have a sense of orientation.

"Tonks?" She could hear Harry's confused voice somewhere but she couldn't see anything, she couldn't feel anything in her surroundings.

She heard something snap followed by a thump and she knew it couldn't be good.

_I didn't_. She thought insistently, her teeth gritted together.

_Liar!_ He hissed at her

"Stop getting into my head!" Tonks growled and felt a burst of rage leave her. All of a sudden, everything was back. The dark night sky, the burning hut. She was on her side, her face pressed into the cold wet grass. It took her a moment to register to blurry black figure a distance away to be Snape's retreating back. He was running towards the gates with Buckbeak furious and on his heels. She felt around on the damp grass blindly for her wand and cursed when she came up empty as she scrambled to her feet.

"SNAPE!" Harry roared from behind her. She turned to see Harry, too, scrambling to his feet, arranging his glasses. Tonks watch grudgingly as Snape disapparated with a crack. Wordlessly, she summoned her wand to her hand.

"Harry," She grabbed his arm calmly and she spun around to look at her, his emerald eyes filled with hatred, "he's gone," Tonks stated, referring to Snape but hatred left Harrys' eyes and the boy sank to the ground. That was when Tonks recalled everything and felt pain of a loss hit her.

Dumbledore is dead.

* * *

Harry looked like a walking dead, Tonks thought, but she don't think she looks much better herself. She just watched and stood with her wand useless in her hand as the greatest wizard in history was murdered in cold blood. She just froze. She respected and loved Dumbledore even as a teacher and her failure weighed down on her shoulders, threatening to overwhelm her.

Her chest was burning and she can't breathe right. She is an Auror. What kind of Auror fails in this manner? What member of the Order stands there and watch their leader fall without doing anything? She felt an anger for Snape overwhelm her. He was supposed to be loyal. Dumbledore practically swore on his life and now he has paid the price with his life for a mistake.

They walked till they reach the hospital wing. Harry pushed open the door and Tonks was dismayed when she heard the wailing of Molly Weasley come through the crack. Bill…

Tonks dashed into the hospital to see the Weasley family around a hospital bed. There's Remus by the window sill and the kids were there. Tonks silently sighed in relief after seeing Remus safe and healthy. Hermione embraced Harry while Tonks gently pushed her way through.

Bill was motionless on the hospital bed, his handsome face marred with ugly scars.

"Bill…" Tonks breathed and she looked to Fleur, who Tonks hasn't had the honour of meeting but heard so much from Ginny's complaining. The beautiful veelas' eyes were red and puffy as she looked at Tonks, "is he…alright?"

Fleur sniffed and looked away.

"He will be," Molly replied thickly from behind Arthur's handkerchief before she sobbed into her husband's shoulder.

"He won't be a real… y'know.." Fleur spoke and everyone converged onto Remus. Tonks' heart broke. He has blood all over his front and smears of it on his weary face. There was a huge gash on the side of his head which looked like it has crusted over and blood has dried over it.

"No," his confident voice rang out and Tonks' heart sang to hear it, "Greyback didn't attack Bill in his werewolf form so Bill won't be a werewolf but he'll have wolfish characteristics…Developing a preference for rare meat for example, but nothing worse than that_," nothing worse or equivalent to what I am._ Tonks could hear the unsaid words. She wanted to go up to him now and cup his cheeks to tell him no man will ever be his equivalent or his better to her but she restrained herself, knowing both her and Remus are not publically affectionate people.

Molly sniffed and nudged Fleur out of the way of applying a smelly balm on Bill's scars but Fleur nudged her back and stubbornly stayed put.

"I can take care of 'im and I will!" Fleur snapped fiercely.

Molly looked puzzled, "you're not going to leave him now that he have these…scars?"

"Of course I won't! I'm not that kind of person!" Fleur turned her attention back to Bill with tears running down her face. Molly was stunned for a moment before she let out a sob and threw her arms around Fleur.

Tonks looked away as they sobbed into each other's embrace with the Weasley family looking on. She glimpsed Remus doing the same and slipping out the door.

With a strained smile, she slipped pass the Weasleys and nodded to Hermione before dashing out the door after Remus. The corridor was dark and eerie. The winds which blew through the castle raised goosebumps on her skin. She saw Remus' frantically retreating back and raced after him.

"Remus," She touched his shoulder as he turned to look at her, she didn't miss the forlorn look in his eyes, the look which she feared and hated most on his face. Tonks never want Remus to feel abandoned or unwanted. Whatever happened, she wanted him, she would keep him. She cupped his cheek, feeling his stubble under her palm.

"Are you alright?" They both whispered in unison. Tonks chuckled and Remus couldn't hold it in at the sight of her smile, "you first," Tonks insisted, glancing meaningfully at the dried blood on his head.

"It's just a cut," He waved it away and took her arm delicately in his large hands. Tonks looked down to see her black sleeve darkened a dark maroon with blood.

"It's just a cut," She echoed and met his poorly restrained smile with a wink. Remus' eyes looked so bright in the dark corridor, the blue catching the moonlight fully. They softened and Tonks melted into his embrace.

"I was so scared when I saw you run up those steps," Remus muttered. She could picture his eyes shutting as he pressed a kiss to her hair and she smiled against his shoulder.

"Remus…" Her voice was thick with grief and muffled, "I saw it… I watched him die and I stood," She didn't realise she was shaking till Remus' firm but gentle hands steadied her shoulders, "I couldn't grab a hold of him and he-he felt off the edge of the astronomy tower! I didn't, I really didn't think Snape will kill him...-he killed Dumbledore…"

Remus' jaw tightened before he swallowed and spoke, "It's not your fault…" He held her face in his hands, "I know you did what you could," He pressed a firm kiss to her forehead, a kiss which told her whatever he said, he meant it truly. Tonks shuddered and buried her face into his chest. Later, she might have to face the world but now, she'll hide from it. None of it matters for her now, not the war, not Voldemort or her guilt, everything will turn out alright.

* * *

She felt numb as she walked down the great hall of Hogwarts. There was a dull ache in his head. Remus held her smaller hand gently in his, protecting her, warming her, reminding her that she is there and holding onto her for support as well.

Her heart, however, warmed as the memory of last night floated into her head.

_Last night…_

His fingers drew lazy circles on her back, his other hand playing with her fingers gently.

"Are you feeling better?" His warm voice whispered into her ear, breathing hot breath onto her flushed ear.

She nodded and Remus straightened out, sitting up and helping her sit up. He wandlessly summoned a bottle from the dresser. As he unscrewed the cap, she frowned, puzzled.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Of course we can use magic but with my skills and yours…I'm afraid it'll scar…" Remus hid a smile. Tonks mocked a scowl as he gently dabbed the oilment on her arm. It was cold but Remus' blue eyes, filled with concern, filled her insides with warmth.

"Remus…" She unwittingly spoke, a lump forming in her throat as he looked up, smiling, "I love you," She croaked. Tonks froze as his smile faded and Remus leaned forward without preamble and pressed his lips to hers. He took her lower lips between his and she fisted his brown hair.

This felt like home and then the feeling was gone. Tonks pouted her disappointment at him as she opened her eyes.

Remus was scrambling off the bed and Tonks saw scarred filled and pale torso. He had a lean body, muscles underneath skin but his ribs stood out. On his rib, the skin was twisted by the thick ropey scar running along the length of it. His arms had scars as well, some thick, some thin and faded. His shoulders are squared and broad and strong. Tonks blushed as she noticed that the band of his pyjamas trousers have slipped lower, revealing his hipbones and another scar along his hips.

He coaxed her to the edge of the bed and knelt at her feet.

"Nymphadora," Remus started in his deep and reassuring tone that Tonks would willingly listen to it for the rest of her life. He even made her name sound normal and nice, "I know I have nothing to give you, I don't have any money, I don't have the popularity or the talent, I don't have the killer good looks-" Tonks made to speak but he spoke first, "please let me finish," She nodded, albeit reluctantly, "I don't have the good body girls dream about. But I do wish you could give me a chance to love you, to treat you how you ought to be treated; like a queen. I can give you a family life, a husband, my heart, my whole being."

Tonks' breath caught in her throat as she heard what he said.

Then his calm exterior seemed to crack as he force a smile, "I want to do it in an old fashioned manner and yet I can't even give you a proper proposal at a fine restaurant…I have been wanting to ask you this but I just don't…" he took a deep breath but Tonks could hardly draw a breath, "Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, will you marry me please?"

There was no ring in sight, no luxurious room or dinner. They were in Moody's house, in a guest room which Tonks has slept in before when she slept at Moody's house. Heck, they didn't even have proper clothes on. Remus was topless and Tonks was wearing an oversized shirt and shorts.

"Yes, of course I would…" She whispered.

Remus' eyes lit up and for a moment Tonks thought he'll leap to his feet but he beamed and a mischievious glint flashed in his eyes, "What was that, Dora?"

She pouted, lying back onto the bed, covering her face with both hands, "you heard me!"

"Yes I did," Remus' voice was heard above her and she felt his warm breath on the back of her hands. Her heart pounded and she opened her eyes to see Remus' face hovering over hers, "Thank you," He kissed her forehead, then her eyes, then her nose, then both her cheeks and finally, a peck for her lips.

"Hey," Tonks was nudged out of her reverie as Remus touched his arm gently, "what are you thinking about?" he asked gently.

"About you, last night." She confessed.

Remus gave her a small smile and turned back to watch Dumbledore's funeral procession solemnly. Some might say it is absurd that Remus had the audacity to propose on the night of the death of a respected wizard in the wizarding world. However, to Tonks, that couldn't have been cleverer of him. He made a night of grief become a night of happiness and remembrance for the both of them and Tonks thanked and loved him for that.

_Dumbledore would be happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world._

* * *

A/N: I know Fleur has an accent but I'm not too sure how French accent will sound on English and rather exclude it than screw it up so I hope you bear with it!

About how many chapters there will be for this story, I can't say for sure myself! But if you notice, this story might be AU but follows the books fundamentally, so this story will end along with the books! Now we're at the end of Half Blood Prince and I think we're nearing the end unless plot bunnies come to me out of the blue! Thanks all of the reviewers for your well wishes for my exam, I wouldn't say I aced it and is a little worried for certain subjects but oh well, it's done. I'm slowly getting back my groove for this story and hope you guys won't give up on it, I know I won't!


	41. Chapter 41: Normal

Chapter 41: Normal

Tonks smiled as she gazed at the band on her ring finger. It was a simple silver band that shone so brightly; she could see her reflection in it. Pondering it, she slid it off her ring finger reluctantly. Remus had requested that she kept their engagement a secret from the ministry. After a night of arguing, she relented, too tired to protest.

She glimpsed something on the inside of the ring which she had no idea how to read. Mentally noting it down to ask Remus later, she slipped it into the pocket of her Auror robes before walking into the foyer of the ministry.

She cringed as the loud sounds hit her at an almost deafening pitch. Tonks was, again, gone from the ministry for so long; she had forgotten how it feels like; the bustle of the Ministry, her Auror robes weighing down on her shoulders as if a reminder of her responsibility as an Auror.

It was with this thought that an unwelcomed flash back hit her.

_"Well?" He practically demanded roughly after he handed her the robes and she put them on tentatively. Technically she was not an Auror, yet, and trainees have their special robes to put on when they go on missions. However Mad-Eye insisted she wore the official maroon robe of an Auror for this important task._

_She watched her mentor size down his spare robe to better fit her petite, almost pixie like, frame in comparison to him and shove it at her._

_Tonks was dying to find out how she looked and normally, she would have scurried over to the mirror by the desk to take a look at herself but she knew Mad-Eye would bite her head off if she did. Being a new trainee, she was positively terrified of Mad-Eye Moody's sharp and surly tone and on top of that, she worshipped him. So his words are practically the law in her eyes._

_"Does it fit, girl!" Mad-Eye barked, "Stop fidgeting with it, we're going on a mission, not a party!"_

_Tonks looked at him with wide stormy grey eyes and nodded, "Yeah, it's so bloody uncomfortable though, so heavy," She blurted, feeling the weight of the leather robe tugging on her shoulders._

_"Yeah, well, it'll keep you sufficiently warm, give a good balance and offer some protection from stray spells," Mad-Eye lectured and Tonks drank it all in eagerly, "The weight will be nothing on you after I'm done with you. And you'll do well to remember that weight on your shoulders. What you feel doesn't have a rat's arse on what the duties of an Auror entails and the importance of it,"_

_Mad-Eye looked at her with pride, as an Auror, shining through his entire being and Tonks could've sworn he almost smiled._

_"What have a rat's arse has to do with my coat?"_

Tonks chuckled to herself, looking at her feet, letting her black hair curtain her face. She still remembered the look of disbelief and infuriation on Mad-Eye's face after she has said that. _You're gone now and Merlin, I'm starting to feel this weight again._

Truthfully, Tonks dreamt of her mentor every night and in her dreams, he would simply be sitting there, talking to her. During other nights, he would just sit there, staring at her with a fond smile and she would hug his arm like she does with her dad when she was still a child. She kept her dreams to herself, not wanting Remus to doubt about her ability to return to work after Mad-Eye's death and she has had enough with the ministry doubting her ability in her grief. Besides, Mad-Eye would give her a good rap on her head with his wand if he caught her slacking off her duties to grief for him.

Seeing the atrium of the ministry and hearing all the sounds in her time as a trainee here, it all rushed back to her. Voldemort's wrath, Dumbledore's death, her duty all seeped away into the background of her mentor. And Merlin knows it still tore at her heart to remember him.

"Why if it isn't _Auror_ Tonks,"

She looked up upon hearing her name and smiled at Kingsley Shacklebolt who was in a half bow with a smirk on his face, "Quite fooling around, _Auror_ Shacklebolt,"

Kingsley grinned and then it faded, "I'm sorry about Alastor, I truly am, Tonks,"

Tonks accepted it with a forced smile before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to give her a side hug, "I just miss him and seeing all this…" She gestured around her.

"I know, it's like you start remembering things you didn't even think you remembered," Kingsley squeezed her shoulders, "and with everything else happening too quickly after that, I'm surprised you're back so soon,"

She smiled faintly, "Well, Mad-Eye would have his knickers in a twist if he knew I was skiving off work,"

"He is tremendously proud of you, even if he wouldn't tell you that himself," Kingsley said, staring off in a distance in recollection, "he told me you are his 'greatest achievement and success', the day you received your badge, did you know that?"

Tonks felt her eyes welling up but she blinked back her tears, "No, I didn't," She shuffled her feet awkwardly as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, "Thanks King,"

"Come on, everyone can't wait to meet you," Kingsley's face split into a contagious grin and Tonks can't help but smile.

The Auror office slapped her with even more memories and she felt almost light headed. Every corner, every single thing reminded her of Mad-Eye.

"If it isn't the greatest Auror in history!" A loud strident voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she was swept off her feet and into someone's arms.

"Tommy, let her breathe!" Kingsley chuckled.

"Our Auror supreme here don't need that!" Tommy exclaimed. Tonks laughed at the antics of his colleagues. She has always seemed a wonder to her colleagues as she's the only female Auror left at the moment after one has just retired, and a metamorphagus to top it off, "How are you, Auror supreme?" Tommy grabbed her face in his overly large hands and scrutinized her, his eyes squinting.

"I miss you too, Tommy!" Tonks laughed. Thomas Brister was easily the busiest and one of the most capable Aurors in Office. Tonks met him during her trainee years and had depended on his help, more than once, on ridiculous tasks Mad-Eye gave her to avoid running laps as a punishment for her failure. He has dark green eyes complimented with flyaway dirty blond hair; basically the man who had the females at St Mungos reeling every time he brought in an injured suspect that require medical attention.

More than once, Mad-Eye had also entrusted Tonks with him when he had to go away on a case that was deemed confidential.

"Sorry about the last time you were back, I was out on a field trip. Couldn't bump into you. Only heard these guys mumbling something about our girl wonder becoming different," Tommy scowled towards the office at large.

Tonks hid her blush, remembering her depression the last time she came in. It was a while ago and she was having trouble finding a balance between being a member of the Order and a Death eater and it tore at her conscience.

"'cept, I can't see anything different about our girl here, apart from the queer change in taste of hair colour," Tommy deliberately raised his voice, shooting meaningful glances around.

Tonks rolled her eyes and scrunched up her nose as she morphed her hair electric blue. Tommy and Kingsley laughed heartily and she smiled, cherishing the laughter she had in her life now, which was far and few between.

Tonks spent her day with Tommy, coincidentally (or not) being assigned to a raid with him. At the end of the long day, they had sealed off 3 illegal shops for transacting in the black market of dark artefacts. Upon handing those relevant artefacts to the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office and left the rest in the safe vault in the Auror office for further scrutiny. Tonks leaned against the heavy door of the vault and slammed it shut wearily.

She was beat, her limbs soft and her head hurting. It was supposed to be an easy mission of strutting in and waving their badges around, for Tonks to get off to a soft start. But Tonks should've known; being paired up with Tommy and working as an Auror, it can't be easy. Out of the 3 they raided, 2 of them were manned by dark wizards and Tonks was dismayed to find her wand reacting to the idea of using Dark magic upon encountering them. Even without the use of Dark magic, Tonks didn't know if she should be pleased or disgusted to feel the improvement in her dueling abilities; thanks to the training for Voldemort, no doubt.

Even Tommy noticed the difference. However that didn't prevent them from gaining an arsenal of wounds. Tonks had a large gash over her side, which was hastily sealed in the midst of a battle, and a bruised head from falling.

"Okay there?" Tommy patted her shoulder and she nodded with a weary smile. Tommy had scraps on his hands and a dislocated shoulder to boot. He had gained more respect from Tonks after he fixed his shoulder by himself with a few tugs and pushes after a raid and went on to the next.

"Just a headache, a nap should fix that," Tonks double-checked the door to ensure it's sealed before leaving with Tommy at her side.

"And a man to warm your bed?" Tommy grinned, nudging her.

Tonks blushed and Tommy caught on quick.

"For real?" His eyebrows disappeared into his fringe of hair. This was part of their normal banter and Tonks normally coped well, with it being a joke and all. But Tonks surprised herself with how shy she was when there really was a man in her life, "who's the guy?" Tommy teased as they entered the lift and headed home.

Tonks shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant but Tommy was observant and pestered her all the way out of the ministry. By the time they made it to the streets, Tommy was practically tussling with her to force a reply out of her and Tonks was pleasantly surprised to see the man in question leaning up against a pillar, seeming to be waiting for her.

His face brightened as he saw her but something flashed in his eyes as he saw Tommy too, his thick arm thrown casually over her shoulders. Her heart broke when Remus averted her eyes and walked away, attempting to put up a ruse and pretend he didn't know her. She frowned but he didn't see. Tonks shrugged off Tommy's arm and walked straight up to her fiancé.

Remus caught her eye and shook his head, trying to seem inconspicuous, but Tonks laced her arms around his and all but dragged him to Tommy.

"Tommy, this is Remus Lupin, the love of my life," Tonks surprised herself and Remus when the words flowed out of her mouth. Tommy raised an eyebrow as he looked over Remus, "Remus, this is Thomas, my colleague and friend,"

"Hello," Remus extended a hand and Tommy shook it, still staring at Remus.

"Stop staring, Tommy!" Tonks punched his arm heavily, an arm still laced around Remus'. Tommy, on his part, seemed in shock. An awkward atmosphere ensued and Tonks hurriedly ended their abrupt encounter, kissing Tommy on his cheek before slipping into an alleyway with Remus to apparate.

"Dora…" Remus looked almost as dumbstruck as Tommy was. His eyes looked at her in awe.

She grinned at him and disapparated with a soft pop. Remus was still in disbelief and hurriedly disapparated after her. They both appeared on the greens on the outskirts of Mad-Eye's house, which is now Tonks' and Remus' house.

"Dora," He took her hand before she could make her way into the house. Gently, Remus turned her to face him, "Why did you do that?"

Tonks smiled at him, encircling her arms loosely around his neck, "Why not? Tommy is my friend and I would love for my friends to know you,"

Remus opened his mouth to reply but thought better about it.

"You don't like it?" She frowned, studying his expression, puzzled.

"I'm just…" Remus averted her eyes and looked down, "I have never been treated like that before, I'm a-"

"Wonderful man," She interrupted with a tone of finality in her voice that allowed no room for argument, "The woman who was not proud to have you doesn't deserve you," Remus searched her heart shaped face. Her jaws were set stubbornly, her pale visage serious this time and there were no mischievous sparkle in her grey eyes.

He couldn't hide a smile as he leaned in to claim her lips eagerly. Tonks responded passionately, fisting the lapels of his coat and pulled him closer to her.

When her lungs burned for air, Tonks pulled away but he held her and leaned in persistently. She threw her head back and laughed. She cupped his cheek which was warm under her hand and gave him a filthy look full of promise.

Remus hurriedly averted her eyes, a trace of a blush on his cheek, "Are you tired?" he placed his hand over hers, which was on his cheek, "you're freezing," His hand was warm and rough.

Tonks sighed and nodded, "My head hurts," She groused, digging the ground with the toe of her boot which had blood all over them.

"Come on, inside, you'll feel better," He held her cold hand in his larger and warmer one and they headed towards the house. Tonks felt her skin tingle in a reassuring manner as they both passed the wards that Mad-Eye set and Dumbledore reinforced, the thought of both men making her cringe. If Remus noticed, he didn't probe about it but squeezed her hand.

It was a considerable long way to walk, especially in Tonks' tired state. Mad-Eye had erected wards farther from his property, than where a regular wizard would, for safety purposes. After Tonks felt the second wave of tingling on her skin, she squealed. Remus smiled knowingly at her as she threw her arms around his neck, choking him.

The broken, dull and filthy white fence that surrounded the house was replaced with a new strong picket fence. The new fence was brown, an earthly colour that resembles that of the bark of a tree. She practically skipped to it, touching the new fence.

"Careful for splinters," Remus teased and Tonks elbowed him in the rib. The fence felt like real wood. It was smooth.

"Remus, did you make it yourself?"

He ducked his head and averted the awe struck glint in her eyes. A flush was creeping onto his cheek as he shoved his hands into his pocket and shrugged, "It's not difficult. My dad used to do woodwork for the house too. And I was idle so…I hope you like it," He babbled, still averting her eyes, not seeing her amused smile, "I thought you might want it brighter but I have no idea what colours you might fancy on this-"

"Remus," She rushed up to him and clapped her hand over his mouth, "you're babbling, so much." Remus, on his part, looked thoroughly scandalized for being silenced. Tonks grinned, kissing the back of her hand, which was over his mouth, teasingly before making her way to the house.

Remus watched her walk with a fond smile. She walked with haughty strides, those that Sirius and members of the Black family tend to have, and yet refuse to admit she does. His reverie was cut short as Tonks took a tumble on the path to the house, in the front yard.

"Dora!" He ran forward, hearing her curse and yowl. Remus found her sitting on her bum amidst hostile weeds that Mad-Eye bewitched, to guard his house. Despite his amusement, Remus got to his knees and pried them off her hand. He had spent the whole afternoon in the garden and can't seem to find a way to stop these weeds. He did freeze the weeds with immobulus but after a while, they were freed again.

Once her hand was freed, Tonks summoned her wand wordlessly and the weeds stopped in an instant before slinking away from her and Remus. After the weeds dispersed into the soil, Tonks sat, unmoving. Her eyes staring at something else faraway.

"Dora?" He touched her shoulder gently, "are you hurt?"

Tonks looked at him, her grey eyes guarded and it stung Remus, "No," she replied hurriedly, "I used to take a tumble in this garden everyday when I came to this house for training,"

"Sorry I didn't remove them, I didn't think you would want to-"

"No, keep them here," She interrupted him, grasping his arm, something wild flickering in her eyes momentarily. Remus didn't want to probe her here but resolved to talk to her about it later.

"Okay, whatever you want. Come on, get up, it's cold here," Remus scooped her into his arms, silently unlocking the door and opening it non verbally.

"The arm chair," Tonks mumbled as she saw that there were some changes to the inside of the house as well. Remus knew what she was referring to and brought her to that special armchair he had cleaned and kept. He flicked his wand non-verbally over her once and cleaned the soil and mud off her before placed her gently on the arm chair. It had a tall back, grey, old and had frayed ends about it but it was soft and kept her warm.

Her petite frame fit snugly into the piece of furniture.

"Dora," Remus sat on the arm and she mumbled a response before burrowing her head snugly into his side. He wanted to broach the subject about her mentor again but didn't know if he should. After the visit to Dumbledore's office, she seemed to be coping better than before. However, today, Remus spent the day worrying after her as she was returning to work and it was the place where she had the most memories of her mentor. Upon her return, the look in her eyes as she saw the house confirmed the grief she still felt, "can I talk to you?"

He glanced down at her. Tonks opened her eyes and looked up at him, listening.

"I know you miss him dearly and there's nothing wrong with that," He took both her hands in his and rubbed them warm again. Remus gauged her response as he brought up the issue of her mentor and she seemed to take it well, curious to hear what he would say, "but please don't hide yourself away with the grief. I'm worried about you Dora,"

Giving him a small smile, Tonks stood, pushing him into the now empty armchair. She then proceeded to sit in his lap. Remus frowned as she took his face between her hands and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry; I don't intentionally do that… Remus, please look," She said, her voice barely above a whisper and Remus blanched at what she was implying.

"No, I'm not going to pry into your mind," He insisted, breaking eye contact. Tonks sighed and he saw her rolling her eyes from the corner of his eye.

"Stop being so chivalrous," Tonks mocked a scowl and held his chin to direct him to make eye contact again, "only by looking, you'll truly understand,"

Remus made to object again but he noticed the stubborn look in her eyes and knew she wouldn't give in. With a reluctant nod, he established eye contact, willing himself not be distracted by her stormy grey eyes, her gentle hands on his face and especially her body pressed up against him as she straddled his lap.

"_Legilimens_," He casted the spell and she let him in. He saw everything. The memories which Mad-Eye left her, her captivity with the werewolves, Mad-Eye's death…

Remus was, admittedly, not the best legilimens there was but he could feel her strong walls by the side, protecting what Tonks didn't specifically let him see. He grudgingly admitted to Snape's ability to teach her Occlumency. Remus withdrew from her mind after witnessing Mad-Eye's murder.

On her part, she was calm and quiet. He wanted to say something, at least something to show his appreciation or his condolences but he realised there was nothing to be said. Remus let out a shaky breath and pulled her into a tight embrace. Tonks went willingly, burying her face into the crook of his neck. They stayed like this, content, for a long time and Remus thought she had fallen asleep until she shifted and muttered, "Remus,"

"Yes, Dora?" He smiled when he felt her hands and they were warm.

"I'm hungry,"

Remus let out a deeply relieved laugh as she sat up, "I'll get some pasta ready for you, I know you're disaster in a kitchen," He teased and she swatted his shoulder. Tonks scrambled off of his lap, "you can get a bath in the meantime,"

A smirk, "how will you join me if you're cooking?" A knowing glint.

Remus chuckled, unable to prevent his face from heating up at the thought.

"You're such a prude," Tonks called back, laughing as she slipped into the bathroom, kicking off her boots.

Remus mulled over what he saw in her head. If he was to be truthful, the memories she shared with him have shaken him. It wasn't merely seeing, it's feeling with her. When the memories of Mad-Eye's death flashed across his eyes, he felt pain and a chill in his bones, which he had not felt since the death of his mother.

Mad-Eye's death was gruesome, even at the hands of a werewolf and to think Tonks has had to watch. Greyback has done so much to the people he loved; he'll be damned if he let that slide. The sound of broken pottery interrupted his reverie. He glanced around to spot a broken bowl on the floor.

"And I thought I was the clumsy one," He spun around to see Tonks standing at the door, amused.

"An accident. You bathed quickly," Remus smiled, charming the ladle to stir the sauce on its own while he cleaned up the broken shards.

"Remus, what does the engravings on the ring say?" Tonks asked, scrutinizing said object.

He smiled, "Ego diligo vos praeter vitae ipsum," Remus offered fluently, "Latin,"

She raised a brow, surprised, "I didn't know you speak Latin,"

"My mother, she studies Latin in her free time," Remus watched her unblinkingly as she slid the ring back on her finger with a smile, "and it means…" Dora looked up at his pause, "I love you more than life itself,"

* * *

A/N: Firstly, I have been a huge fan of music videos of Remus and Tonks so I decided to make my own a while back! I hope you can spend sometime to check out my third video and give some comments! www. (youtube) . c o m (slash) watch?v=x010WGFemnE sorry about the annoying url, fanfiction won't let me put a link. I hope you like it!

Back to this story! Just a relaxed chapter for the soul before things get bad, and of course they will get bad ;) I realised I've never written one chapter that is peaceful throughout like this one so I hope this is a treat! About the Latin, I'm not too sure if it's correct so hopefully; if you speak Latin, let me know if it's wrong! The next chapter, I'm already halfway through it and it is half fluff, half angst!

Please drop me a review for this chapter! Thanks!


	42. Chapter 42: Charlie

Chapter 42: Charlie

Tonks felt her insides freeze and butterflies littered her stomach. She felt her hand tighten around Remus' unwittingly and Remus gave her a sideways glance.

The burrow suddenly looked too packed and there seemed to be too many Weasleys. Tonks didn't know if it was because she and Remus intended to announce their engagement to the Weasleys or because Charlie Weasley was sitting at the table, talking with Molly, then proceeded to stare at Remus' and her interconnected hands as they entered.

"Tonks, Remus!" Molly embraced Tonks, crushing her ribs, and kissed her on both cheeks before hugging Remus in a similar manner, sparing him the kisses.

"Hello Molly," Tonks smiled, trying to avert Charlie's unwavering gaze on her. To her surprise, Charlie appeared right behind Molly.

"Hey Tonksie," Charlie smiled, looking painfully forced. Tonks thought her own smile looked forced as well. For old times' sake, they embraced. His arms were tougher than she remembered and his embrace was tighter. Tonks didn't remember if her arms rose to embrace him back. As she felt his cheek press against hers, Tonks realised she have and always will look at Charlie as the boy she knew from Hogwarts; the ginger who was her partner in crime of mischief at Hogwarts. Nothing more than that.

"Hi Char," Tonks whispered, revelling in the familiar scent that was so Charlie in her mind. Soon, the embrace became uncomfortably tight and stifling as she realised the height was wrong, the feel of his arms around her felt different, the gentle whispers and kisses she expected were not there; those which she could only find on Remus. She awkwardly shrugged out of his embrace, her heart racing.

"How are you?" Charlie gazed at her, one hand on her shoulder. She glanced at his bare arm as his jumper sleeve rode up his arm. There were more scars than she remembered and more burnt marks on his pale skin.

"I'm good," She smiled, searching and grasping Remus' calloused hand in hers, "and you?"

Charlie's gaze looked stubbornly fixed on her, "I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, I came back as soon as I heard about Mad-Eye and Dumbledore…Tonksie, we'll make them pay for what they did…"

Tonks winced as if she was hit, at the mention of her mentor, "It's- I'm fine," Her jaw felt incredibly tensed, as did her back, as if she was expecting some blow to literally hit her.

She saw Charlie taking a step towards her but before she could take a step back away from him, she felt a gentle hand on her arm. Before she knew it, she felt familiar arms wrap around her. She heard his voice and felt his warm breath on her ear. He was at the right height so that she could press her face into his shoulder blade. Remus always felt comfortably warm for her.

"Oh Tonks," She heard Molly approach. Tonks hurriedly steeled herself and withdrew from Remus' embrace.

"Molly," Tonks turned to face the matriarch of the Weasley family, a genuine smile on her lips, "I'm fine, I just need…"

"Time," Remus offered and she nodded gratefully.

"Remus," Charlie inclined his head towards him.

Tonks glimpsed Remus nodding at Charlie, "Charlie," Remus offered a hand, "nice to see you,"

Charlie shook his hand, smiling that tight smile again, "Same to you," Charlie looked intent in that handshake and Remus seemed slightly awkward.

"Actually," Tonks interrupted, cringing a little as Charlie turned to her. She leaned into Remus' side purposefully, "we're here to tell you Molly, Remus and I are getting married,"

Charlie paled, looking sickly beside his mother who laughed, clapping her hands together in glee, "Oh, that is fantastic!" Molly shrieked, pulling Tonks in for another rib crushing hug. After which, she patted Remus on the shoulder in approval repeatedly.

"Congratulations," Charlie all but choked out before excusing himself to the back.

Molly seemed oblivious to her son's discomfort as she ushered Tonks and Remus into the sitting room, piling their laps with cakes and tea which Remus accepted graciously. She then excused herself to the kitchen to prepare more.

Tonks smiled, lacing her fingers through his. Remus was gazing at their interlaced hands, "Dora, you didn't have to do that. I know how you feel, about me…and Charlie,"

Tonks cringed, "it sounds so bad when you put it like that," She turned to him, with that haughty look on her face which made Remus chuckle, "I'm getting married to _you_. And I want to make that clear,"

"Well, it was cruel, even by your standards," Remus shot her a withering look and Tonks was in disbelief that she could see sympathy for Charlie, in Remus' captivating eyes. They were an unbelievably light blue, focused on her and she was lost in them. He kissed the tip of her nose to snap her out of her reverie. She blinked as he laughed lightly.

Tonks mock scowled, "my standards?" She looked offended. Remus smirked, nodding knowingly.

"Your standards," He confirmed.

"I am not cruel in the least," She argued her stand firmly.

Remus raised a brow in doubt, "Really? I saw the dresses you have. And they look cruel to me,"

Tonks laughed, throwing her arms around his neck, thinking to herself, _I love this man_.

* * *

Molly walked into the kitchen to find Charlie looking outside the backyard, leaning against the frame of the screen door.

"Charlie?" She touched his shoulder. He jumped visibly, turning around too quickly.

"Mum…" Charlie averted her eyes.

"Charlie, I know you love her," Molly started bluntly but in the matter of relationships, she didn't know how else to broach this subject with her children. They all seemed intent on avoiding this conversation with her. Charlie drew back a little, wincing, "I can see it in the way you look at her, in the way you held her, the way you talk to her… as if it will be the last thing you do in this world-"

"Mum," The coldness in his tone stung but Molly knew, for the sake of her son and Remus and Tonks, she had to shake him out of it, "Stop it,"

It hurts Molly to see Charlie so torn, her boy, "Charlie, I wish more than anybody that Tonks loves you, look at you, touch you and talk to you like she does to Remus, like how I talk to your father," She willed her son to see the truth, "but she doesn't,"

"I know what you are trying to do," Charlie looked reproachfully at her, "As if I haven't tried that on myself a thousand times in Romania!" He hissed, "As if I didn't try to wake myself up from this, to stop loving her but I do, so much!"

Molly was quiet, not knowing what else to tell her son other than what was most cruel of all, "when you love somebody, you don't always have to have them for yourself my boy," She touched his hair.

Charlie choked on tears that never came and Molly's heart broke for it.

"If you can't stop loving her, then learn to love her from afar," Molly pulled her son into an embrace, wishing this wasn't happening to one of her sons, "but don't force her. Things have been difficult enough for her as it is,"

"I know," Charlie pulled back, wincing as he heard Tonks' laughter from the sitting room, "I understand. He makes her happy. As long as he does, I'll not do anything,"

As much as she was cruel to her son, Molly understood the recklessness that Charlie, a kind hearted boy could commit, and felt it was her duty to warn him otherwise; lest he tore away another of Tonks' happiness, that girl has had little as it is.

Tonks and Remus stayed in the Burrow at Molly's request. Arthur returned from work just as the kids started filing in for dinner. Molly repeated the announcement without preamble, to the house at large while everyone was bustling about and Tonks and Remus was suddenly met with many congratulations.

Ginny was elated but at the same time, Tonks detected a bit of disappointed from the youngest Weasley; whom had always hoped, Tonks knew, for Tonks to be her sister-in-law. Tonks smiled, giving Ginny a firm sideways hug.

Tonks, for the world, could not comprehend why Molly kept preventing her to leave when her second oldest son was obviously terribly upset. Instead, she even invited them for dinner. Tonks politely but firmly declined the offer, insisting they have to visit her parents and bring them the news.

Molly relented and gave Tonks a kiss and both of them a hug before allowing them to leave, chucking a huge piece of chocolate cake into Remus' arms just before they slipped out.

Tonks waved mildly at Charlie but he was staring out the window.

"Well, off to my parents' then?" Tonks heave a sigh, not looking forward to it. As much as she loved her dad, he didn't take her and Remus' relationship as well as she had hoped. Remus nodded, looking unfazed as they both disapparated.

The Tonks' household was generally quiet and peaceful. Tonks approached the front door, reaching for the handle when she caught Remus giving his attire a quick and subtle once over. She smiled, turning around to see him trying to straighten a blue jumper which Tonks picked out for him.

Remus caught her eye and smiled. This time, Tonks could see the nervousness surfacing in that smile. She went on her tipped toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek in assurance before opening the door.

They made their way into the sitting room and Remus and Tonks both were stunned to see Sirius, slouching on the couch, effectively occupying the whole couch.

Ted and Andromeda were in their respective arm chairs, laughing. Andromeda saw them first and stood, beaming, "Nymphadora!" Tonks made a face but embraced her mother, "Why didn't you tell us you were coming!"

"Why? So you can pull out the red carpet?" Andromeda frowned her disapproval at Tonks' sass but Sirius grinned.

"Nymphie!" Sirius opened his arms and Tonks smiled, embracing her cousin, mildly aware of her mother greeting Remus warmly.

"Sirius, why are you here?" Tonks grinned.

Sirius shrugged, "here to catch up with my cousin and Ted of course! What will they do without me!"

"Sirius, you're still a fugitive," Remus expressed his disapproval and Andromeda seconded that but Sirius scowled and rolled his eyes.

"What's life without a little danger?" Sirius huffed.

Tonks grinned, "exactly my point when I joined the Aurors!"

"We like living dangerously," Sirius smirked, that Black family aristocratic air radiating from him. On Tonks' face, the identical look was seen and both of them high fived, ignoring Remus' frown of worry and Andromeda sigh.

Ted cleared his throat and everyone turned to him. He stood from his armchair and walking purposefully towards Remus. Tonks watched closely, determined not to let her father ruin a perfectly good day. He paused in front of Remus and Tonks saw Andromeda take Ted's hand.

"Remus, son, how are you?" Ted offered a hand. Tonks sighed in relief. It was a tensed greeting but it was one nonetheless.

Remus gave an easy smile, that Tonks envy, and shook Ted's hand, "I'm good, Mr Tonks, how are you?"

"Ted, I insist," The fair haired man cracked a slight hint of a smile, "Good. I take it you're treating my daughter properly. She looks like she has fattened up since the last time I saw her!"

Tonks pouted as the sitting room burst into laughter, Sirius laughing the loudest.

"Well, I assume you both are having dinner here as well?" Andromeda smiled and upon their nods, "I'll make more portions then!" She slipped off into the kitchen.

"Sit, Remus," Ted smiled. Remus nodded, roughly shoving Sirius' legs off the couch and took his seat. Tonks grinned, collapsing into the space beside him.

"Hey!" Sirius protested, kicking Remus like a child. Remus turned and shot Sirius a warning glare, stopping his antics at once, "so grumpy and still like an old hag," Sirius muttered.

Ted laughed and turned to Remus, laughter quickly dissolving "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

Remus seemed to ponder it seriously for a moment, while Sirius and Tonks stifled their chuckles, before replying the question with utmost thought, "I know I have nothing to give her. I have no money and as a monster-" Tonks flinched, "I don't even have a good name to give her. But I know I would do anything to make her happy," Tonks opened her mouth to assure him but Ted held up his hand to silence his daughter.

"How would you do that?" Ted all but demanded. Tonks scowled at the tone that Ted had adopted at Remus.

Remus paused. His lips were pressed together and his hands curling into fists as he looked down at the carpet, at a lost for words. Tonks could feel the confidence he had, leave him. Sirius patted his shoulder, urging him on but Remus couldn't. He didn't have an answer for that. Tonks did.

"By existing," Tonks snapped, "Dad, why do you have to be such a hard arse on Remus all the time?" She stood despite Remus' efforts to keep her down, "He's important to me!"

With that, Tonks ran up the stairs, tears springing to her eyes. She angrily wiped them away as she burst into her old bedroom and threw herself onto her bed. Both of them were the more important men in her life so why should their meeting strike fear in her, instead of happiness.

Remus was trying but she couldn't understand why her father couldn't see past the werewolf to see what a sweet, kind and gentle man Remus was to her. One might think Tonks' parents have had more than enough experience with meeting their daughter's boyfriends but it was the opposite.

At the age of 23, Tonks had never brought a single boy home as a boyfriend apart from Remus. Of course she has had her share of suitors but Charlie kept her strictly off limits to other guys at Hogwarts, dropping by once or twice at the Tonks' household in the name of a family friend.

After which, she spent most of her time at Auror training and between endless lectures and training from Mad-Eye, she was too tired to party even on a Friday night. Mad-Eye was the closest of a male friend who came by her house and thinking of him anymore than a godfather in her family was ridiculous. Besides, Mad-Eye's paranoia with whatever he put in his mouth made meals awkward more than enjoyable.

Of course that's not to say Tonks didn't have a date once in a while with cute guys but none of them made it to a position important enough in her heart for her to introduce them to her parents.

Her first sweet guy to bring home and her dad just had to ruin it every time! She cried her frustration into the sheets, muffling the sound.

A knock on the door made her jump, influenced by her Auror instincts, she whipped out her wand.

"Come in," She said stiffly and Ted Tonks entered, his eyebrows raised as he found himself on the wrong end of an Auror's wand.

"Relax baby, it's just your ol' dad," He chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. Tonks almost smiled but, upon remembering his hostile attitude towards Remus, she stowed her wand away but turned away from her father, "you're not still angry at me, are you baby?"

Tonks huffed in frustration, spinning around so quickly it made her lose her balance slightly. Crossing her arms, she demanded, "why are you so intent on giving Remus a hard time? You know he takes these things very seriously and it's so important to him, and me!"

Ted smiled, "I know. And I'm pleased with him,"

That caught Tonks off guard. She thought her father hated Remus, "but he couldn't answer your question and you looked-"

"The point of those questions aren't for Remus to answer them, baby. Well, they are. But I want to know, what all this means for him and judging from the way he thought them through when you and Sirius were giggling as if it were all a joke, I know he takes all this and you very seriously and I'm happy you found a mature man to fill in that place in your life," Ted rambled and Tonks was stumped that Ted actually thought so far for her.

"Daddy…"

"I just want you to be happy, Dora. And I'm so happy Remus looked dedicated to give you that. I am sorry about how I behaved the first time you brought him home. But to be fair, bringing a werewolf home for the first time and telling us you're dating him won't really make any father happy," Ted wringed his hands, "Your mother gave me plenty of grief for my behaviour already and she's right. You're an Auror. If anyone can handle a rampant werewolf, it'll be you-"

"Not that Remus would let that happen, Dad!" Tonks interrupted hurriedly.

Ted laughed, his entire frame shaking from such a boisterous laugh, "no, he wouldn't but knowing my daughter, she'll trip headfirst into that kind of trouble,"

Tonks feigned a pout before running into her father's arms, feeling small again.

"Ted, Nymphadora! Dinner's ready!" Andromeda yelled from downstairs. Tonks rolled her eyes and gagged and Ted chuckled.

"Why were you there, Sirius?" Tonks narrowed her eyes in suspicion as they wore their coats, getting ready to leave. Andromeda and Ted have both bustled off to pack some cookies and leftover broth for them to bring back.

Sirius laughed, "why of course for you and Remus! Cousin, you're really slow," even Remus cracked a chuckle and Tonks frowned, offended that was left out of a ploy, "As I'm practically Remus' brother, from another mother, pardon the cliche, of course I have to help him and play wingman by setting the mood with his in-laws!"

Tonks' frown deepened, "you were in on this?" She demanded at her fiance.

"No," Remus replied.

Tonks raised an eyebrow and Remus sighed, "liar," She smirked.

"Moony, buddy, you still haven't learnt how to lie?" Sirius scoffed in disbelief.

Tonks punched Sirius in the arm, "he's an honest and good man, stop corrupting him!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked, "you obviously haven't slept with him," He chortled. Both Tonks and Remus blushed, a sure sign of the truth in that, "Siriusly mate?" Sirius mocked a bow in respect, whistling, "what a gentleman, Moony. Or….does Nymphie not fly your broom because she's missing a few important parts that get you going. Y'know, you could just tell her, she could sprout them for-"

"Shut it Sirius!" Tonks snapped, morphing away her blush, "you sick pervert!"

Sirius guffawed, ducking her fist.

All three of them fell silent when Ted and Andromeda came back into sight, handing them the food before bidding them a goodnight.

Sirius morphed into that shaggy black dog. Tonks fastened a collar around his neck too eagerly and yanked him out the door, ignoring his whine. The streets were dark and chilly. Remus pulled Tonks' coat more securely around her before they began their walk into the alley.

Sirius lopped ahead eagerly, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, panting.

"Stupid dog," Tonks poked her tongue out at him and yelped as Sirius stood on his hind legs, licking her face. Remus laughed, dragging Sirius off her forcefully. Sirius whined and whined all the way to the alley but neither Tonks nor Remus paid him any mind.

Sirius morphed back the moment they stepped into Grimmauld place, tearing off the collar and tossing it at Remus. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but Tonks stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

Gesturing towards the kitchen, they all noticed that it was lit and there were sounds of glass clinking from it.

Tonks drew her wand and walked ahead quietly. She side stepped the troll leg umbrella stand and nudged the door open with her wand.

At the kitchen table sat one Charlie Weasley, in the midst of downing a glass of Firewhiskey. Tonks grimaced as Charlie finished the whole glass.

He turned, eyes bleary and face flushed from the alcohol no doubt. Sirius whooped and conjured a glass to join Charlie but Charlie was oblivious. He was staring at Tonks, his lips pressed together. His hair was tousled, traces of having his hand running through them in frustration evident.

"Tonksie…" His eyes were pleading and Tonks swallowed, inclining her head in silent question, "I was waiting for you," He finished lamely.

"I…don't stay here anymore," She replied, her throat was unnaturally dry. For a moment, it was just the two of them in the room and Tonks was thrown back to the time during her Auror training. It was when she would return to her flat and be surprised by a very depressed Charlie Weasley in the middle of her dark flat, drinking. He had tried dating on Tonks' prompt in Romania and got dumped. At that time, Tonks rushed forward, offering him comfort and drinking the night away with him.

Charlie barked a laugh, so loud in the quiet kitchen that Tonks jumped, "so this," He gestured between him and Tonks, "is not the only thing which have changed,"

Tonks winced.

"Can we have a talk?" Charlie croaked. Tonks nodded stiffly and turned to head up the stairs. She pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek as she passed. Behind her, Charlie left his empty glass on the table and followed her, not sparing Remus a single glance.

Tonks passed the toilet on the way up and decided to take the room beside the toilet, in case Charlie vomited on the floor, as he did at her flat the last time, because the toilet was too far.

She found it to be one of the empty guest rooms which no one had slept it, from Tonks' knowledge.

"Charlie-" She spun around to feel herself being swept into his thick sinewy arms and his lips pressed to hers clumsily. In the past, it would have been a pleasant surprise and she would have moaned as he nipped her bottom lip, fiercely passionate. Charlie's arms were locked around her and Tonks leaned away as best as she could but they were still lip locked.

Frustrated, she accidentally released magic which was bubbling on the surface. Charlie was knocked back and in his drunken stupor, tripped and fell to the floor with a loud thump.

He looked stunned for a moment before he laughed bitterly, "You love that,"

"I _loved_ that!" Tonks snarled, wiping her lips with the back of her hand, "I'm a married woman, Charlie!"

Charlie winced, "Not yet, you aren't, not Mrs Lupin," He protested, "just…engaged," Charlie finished in a mutter.

"I love Remus, not you," Tonks frowned, "please sober up Charlie," She dug into her pocket and expanded her pouch to its normal size. Mad-Eye had insisted that as an Auror, she should have certain things on hand at all time, like some dittany, polyjuice potion, Blood replenishing potion, Antidote to common poison. Tonks replaced polyjuice potion with a sobering potion. Mad-Eye didn't approve but relented when he found her dead drunk one evening.

She opened the stopper to the sobering potion and knelt beside Charlie but he shoved her away forcibly and Tonks stumbled back, struggling to not spill the potion.

"No," Charlie shook his head, his lengthy ginger hair flying around his face wildly, "I don't want to be sober, Tonksie," He pleaded, "I can still remember what hurts… Why is that? You said I wouldn't be able to,"

Tonks hated seeing Charlie like this. This moping ginger mess was not the boy she loved as a girl. As much as she didn't want to admit, it hurts her to see him like this. She stoppered the potion and sent it into her bag. Instead, she resolved to get Charlie to his feet first.

He was heavily leaning on her and his lips can't seem to keep off hers and he won't stop talking, "Tonksie, did you know the first time I saw you," He started, "you were so beautiful,"

Tonks scrunched up her face at that memory, "I've just blown up something in potions and was trying to get cleaned up in the hallway…"

"Yes," Charlie nodded, laughing and for a moment, Tonks thought he was sober, "you were covered in some green slimy mess… it was all over your hair and face and hands. Your hair was red though and your skin," He touched her cheek with his fingers, "you blushed when you caught me staring,"

Tonks remembered it well. A burly boy for their age was staring at her. She never wanted to squirm away more than she did at that moment for she imagined she must be a mess. Embarassingly, Tonks also remembered thinking what a good looking boy he was too, with his freckles and red hair and brown warm eyes.

Charlie held her face in his hands, "Tonksie, we could've been together and you knew it. I would've given dragons up for you if you have asked me to, damn it!"

Tonks froze; she did not know that and didn't have to, not when she was getting married to Remus.

"I would've given up anything for you! I just needed an excuse…" Charlie gazed at her and Tonks saw something in his eyes that made her shy away from his touch only half heartedly.

"I would never ask you to give up your dream for me," Tonks muttered.

"Then why do you start now?" He challenged. leaning in, "my dreams were always you, Tonksie," Charlie pressed his lips to hers and this time, Tonks was frozen, stunned. He kissed her slowly. She could taste the bitter burn of the firewhiskey. She could feel the sweet hot passion he had for her. Tonks just didn't know if she felt the same for him as he backed her onto the bed. She sat, stunned as Charlie gently nudged her to lay down. Tonks was mildly aware of Charlie unbuttoning her blouse with the agility a drunken man shouldn't have.

"Charlie," Her voice was thick as she placed a hand on his to stop him, "I love Remus,"

Charlie scoffed, "I can hear the uncertainty in your voice…"

"No!" She shoved him off from above her, "I do love him,"

Charlie sat on the bed beside her with a hurt look on his face, "You wanted me,"

Tonks was speechless. If she was to deny, why didn't she stop him from the start?

"We can never be together, Charlie," She said through clenched teeth as she buttoned up her blouse.

"Why not?" His voice was indignant. She didn't reply him but made to stand from the bed. His hand reached out and grabbed hers. Tonks looked at him and wished she hadn't. His eyes were watery pools of warm chocolate brown, his lips hung slightly ajar as he looked up at her, "don't leave me,"

"Char…don't, please," She gritted her teeth and yanked her hand away roughly and strutted for the door purposefully.

"Tell me this at least!" Charlie's voice was shaky and Tonks could imagine tears already paving a way down his freckled cheek but she couldn't bear to look. She paused, "do you love me?"

She felt her own eyes stinging, "I will always love you, Charlie. You're my best friend," Tonks heard her voice crack and she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a sob from escaping her lips as she slipped out the door.

Tonks walked down the corridor hurriedly and broke into a run. She descended the stairs noisily, tripping over the last step at the bottom and fell right into Remus' arms.

He saw her tears. Leaning over, he kissed them away, painfully gentle. She sobbed and he held her quietly. There were no questions asked as he slipped his hand into hers, guiding her out the door.

Remus felt an ache in his chest as he walked with Tonks out of Grimmauld. She loved Charlie Weasley and he knew it, he saw it; their exchange, through the door left ajar.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this one! Thank you to the reviewers of the previous chapter, I love reading them! Please do drop me a review for this one! Thanks!


	43. Chapter 43: Mrs Lupin

Chapter 43: Mrs. Lupin

The day before, Tonks shifted back to her parents' while Remus stayed at their house. He busied himself with repainting the exterior of the house with magic and doing final touch ups to their room. Remus laid the wooden floor with thick milk coloured carpet at the tip of the bed, did some gardening as well. He wanted to keep out the nerves by keeping busy but everything he did, he thought of her. Remus planted flowers of every colour because he knew she loved colours. He made sure the stony path into the house in the garden was made as even as possible; although he knew Tonks would still surely trip on it.

Remus smiled as he prepared dinner for himself. He was going to marry her tomorrow and he knew she loved him, however impossible and ridiculous it sounded. Tonks made sure he knew before she left for her parents' home.

"_Remus," She tugged on his hand as they apparated to Moody's house from Grimmauld Place. He turned to her with a small smile. Her eyes were red and swollen and it broke his heart, "I-" She started. _

"_It's okay, Tonks," He interrupted quickly, knowing she wanted to broach that topic; Charlie. _

"_Remus, please let me finish," She implored, taking a step closer to him, "we…we kissed," she admitted, frowning, looking disturbed at that idea. _

_Remus clenched his jaw, he knew that. But it still hurt, and more when she said it. _

"_And it is our goodbye," She told him solemnly, "Charlie was like a good friend to me and then a brother. I love him, but only as a brother. He took care of me in Hogwarts and we grew up together, it's impossible for me to see him as lover," _

_Remus felt the weight on his chest lift as he realised he trusted her; every word she said. He would admit to himself that he did entertain the possibility that Tonks would call off the wedding, for Charlie and it ached but hearing her tell him all that, it was a relief. Despite that, he was concerned._

"_Charlie's better for you though," Remus muttered, holding her hands, "and you know, I just want the best for you. I just want you to be happy, healthy. You deserve so much,"_

"_If I really do deserve so much, why won't you give yourself to me?" She muttered and Remus was stumped. Tonks' brows knitted together, "Remus, I can't see Charlie that way. He's not a lover to me," She averted his eyes and buried her face into his chest, "you are," _

_Remus sighed relief inwardly and wrapped his arms around her, wanting to shield her, protect her, "Why are you so good to me?" He wondered aloud._

_She huffed in frustration, pulling away to look at him, "Because I love you, idiot," _

Remus laughed to himself quietly. Tonks was right, he was an idiot. Everything Tonks did for him, he would do for her and for one reason, the same reason. Coming to terms with the fact that it was possible Tonks did feel the same for him, as he did for her, was a relief and it was exuberating to realise.

Dinner was a quiet affair and it left Remus with more nerves and excitement. He took his time, washing the dishes by hand, unwittingly smiling all the time.

When he had nothing else left to do, Remus took out a book of Oscar Wilde's to read but he couldn't seem to concentrate on the words. Fiddling with his wand in one hand, Remus toyed with the idea of contacting Nymphadora. He missed her. The house was too quiet without her. He placed the book on the shelf and paced in front of the fireplace. On the mantle, they have framed up the photo of Mad-Eye with his daughter, Lyra, which Remus salvaged from the rubble. Beside it was a photo of Remus and Tonks in front of Mad-Eye's house, it was the first day they moved in. Remus left an empty frame for their wedding photo.

He reached for the floo powder, about to floo the Tonks' residence but thought better of it. Andromeda strictly said that they shouldn't meet the day before the wedding, that it was bad luck. Despite Nymphadora throwing a fit, they abided by Andromeda's superstition.

Instead, Remus waved his wand. He watched his patronus flow out the end of his wand but taking no shape, just like how he preferred it.

_Hello, are you well?_ He inserted the message and the patronus disappeared through a wall.

Sighing, he flopped down onto the couch, restless. He was toying with his wedding band when a wolf patronus bounded to him out of nowhere. It was a beautiful thing to be honest; its fur had a beautiful shine to it and its eyes were amber and twinkling happily. The only evidence that it was a werewolf and not a regular wolf was the shorter snout and the tuff tail. Noticing them made Remus cringe. It was a stark reminder of his affliction and that Nymphadora would be marrying one tomorrow.

The wolf sat on its hunches and looked up at him. When its mouth opened, Tonks' voice came out. "Bored, you? I miss you. Mum's going crazy,"

Remus chuckled. He waved his wand and replied; _I miss you too, I can't sit still. Why?_

This time, Remus heard a tap on the window. He saw the Tonks' brown barn owl. Remus opened the window, fed it treats while he read the note in Nymphadora's loopy handwriting.

_I can't either! I don't know. She's fussing over my wedding dress and my heels even though I told her I wouldn't want to wear the heels tomorrow. Why is your patronus non-corporeal sweetheart?_

_P.S. The patronus crossed Mum and she bit its head off so I used Fool here._

Remus smiled, gazing at their poor family owl, named 'Fool'. He sat down and summoned his ink pot and quill; writing his reply beneath hers on the parchment.

_Whatever you wear, you'll be beautiful._ He hesitated, as he read her question, before deciding to skip it. _Andromeda sounds antsy about tomorrow. _

He tied the parchment on the barn owl as it held its leg out dutifully. Remus let it nibble his finger affectionately before it took off.

_Don't avoid my question or I'll question you on our wedding night. Arse kissing will only stall this till tomorrow night. _

Remus smiled, shaking his head. That's his fiancée, stubborn, fiercely protective of him even if it's against himself. He picked up his quill but thought better of it. Abandoning the parchment on the table and the quill, he snatched up his wand. Going to the window, Remus gently gestured for the barn owl to leave. The owl hooted and left without a letter. He walked purposefully out the door, snatching his coat off the rack at the door. He disapparated the moment he felt himself passing the second layer of wards.

The Tonks' household was still lit. Remus could hear conversation coming from the living room with his acute hearing. The full moon was 4 days later. He looked up, where he knew Tonks' bedroom was and felt his breath catch as he saw Nymphadora leaning out the window.

"You'll catch a chill, silly," Remus muttered, gazing at her. Her hair was bubblegum pink and her face was pale in the moonlight. He heard the flutter of wings overhead before seeing their barn owl landing on Tonks' window sill. She frowned as she checked the barn owl over. Remus grinned as he crept closer. "Nymphadora," He called, barely above a whisper.

He saw her freeze, her wand already in her hand as she looked down.

Her eyes widened and Remus saw the smile his heart was yearning for, "Remus!" She whispered, "What are you doing here?" She leaned over the window sill so much that Remus was afraid she'll tip over.

"I missed you," He mouthed.

Tonks grinned. To his horror, she sat on the window sill, throwing her legs over it and started climbing down. Remus was at lost as to what to do other than be prepared to catch her as he watched her climb down.

He heard a gasp as her foot slipped and she fell. Remus lunged forward, catching her but losing his footing and falling back. He bit his lips as he fell, not wanting to alarm Andromeda and Ted of their rendezvous, glimpsing Tonks do the same.

"I'm sorry, are you alright?" Tonks whispered. She was sitting in his lap looking unscathed, to his relief.

Remus smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before replying, "Fine, I think I'll have a sore bum though,"

"A pity…you have a fine arse," She smirked and as she predicted, Remus coughed softly and looked down, trying to conceal his blush, "and still a prude I see," Tonks leant forward, making Remus' heart beat faster.

"And you're still a tease, of poor humour," Remus commented dryly as Tonks kissed his nose.

She smiled, "I feel safe with you, Remus. Despite being out in the open at night, when my wand had flown to Merlin-knows-where," Tonks lay her head on his collar bone as he intertwined their hands and wrapped an arm around her, "Because I know you'll never let go, no matter what,"

Remus pressed a kiss to her hair in promise, "Even if I'm dead," He rubbed her arm warmer, "come on, it may be summer but the cold winds are chilly," He helped her up and summoned her wand, handing it to her.

"Come in for a while?" She asked, her eyes hopeful for him to stay a while more.

"If Andromeda doesn't mind-"

Tonks snorted, "of course she'll mind," Remus raised a brow, "come on, Lupin, it's just a climb," She teased, already making her way up. He chuckled, shaking his head as he followed her.

"You're sure your parents won't break in," Remus asked again as she snuggled under her sheets and beckoned him over.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Even if they did, there's nothing to see. It's not like we're going to have pre-wedding sex," She paused, smirking, "wait, are we?"

Remus chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed, rigid. Tonks did have a way of making him nervous.

She pouted, looking disappointed, "No?"

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, smiling, "we could," Remus didn't know where the courage came from.

Tonks looked as surprised as Remus was. She snaked her arms around his torso and kissed the nape of his neck, "Get in bed, please? I wouldn't want to be a bride with eye bags,"

Remus obliged, shedding his coat and placing it over the back of the chair before snuggling under the cover with her on her small single bed, "You could morph it away," He quipped and she poked her tongue out at him, which he claimed swiftly.

* * *

"Nymphadora! Get out of bed!" Andromeda's voice was practically deafening and too close for comfort from her room. Remus woke, grabbed his coat and was already half way out the window by the time his bride stirred.

Tonks laughed, rubbing sleep away, "My mum isn't Bellatrix, Remus! Though, she does make a point of carrying her wand around the house,"

Remus ignored her jape and smiled at her, "Good morning sweetheart. I'll see you at the wedding, I know you'll be beautiful," He told her quickly before climbing down the window just as Andromeda entered the room without knocking.

"Mum...I'm not a child anymore!" Remus heard Tonks complain, "can you knock? Please?"

"Even if you sleep naked, there's nothing I haven't seen," Andromeda countered.

"And if there was a guy, naked too?" Tonks challenged and Remus blanched, almost missing his last step down. He heard chaos ensued as a crash was heard.

Smiling, he disapparated.

His dress robe suddenly looked too shabby and old. His gelled hair looked like it had too much grey in it. His face had too many lines and scars. His dress pants looked too frayed. His bow tie looked crooked and faded.

Remus averted his gaze from the mirror and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the cream carpet, wringing his hands.

What did he do to deserve Nymphadora? She was young, beautiful and full of life. He's a bookworm, a werewolf and old to boot. He's boring while she's brilliant. How could he even think to lay claim on her like that? To seal her fate. Their wedding. Last night when he thought about it with her in his arms, it sounded perfect, getting married in a church with no one present but Tonks' parents. Now it sounded pathetic. He didn't have the money to afford throwing a party and even if he did, his reputation forbad that. She was better off with Charlie…Even if it stabbed him where it hurt to think that.

He leaned over, burying his face into his hands.

"Remus," Remus jumped, startled. In front of him was Tonks' wolf patronus, standing on all fours, "Don't you even begin to doubt yourself. The person I love is you. Whether you're old or poor or dangerous, I love you and will love only you. Please be there for me, or I will kill you,"

He stared, stunned even after the wolf had dissolved. He seemed frozen for a whole minute before he laughed. Trust Tonks to threaten him on their wedding day.

Remus stood, smoothing non-existent folds of his dress robe and adjusting his bow tie one more time before taking a deep breath and leaving the house to apparate. Pushing his doubts aside, he was focused as he apparated. He was going to make Nymphadora Tonks his wife.

The church looked magnificent and old. It was the same church his parents were wedded in. He walked in and greeted the priest who was going to wed them, and then he waited.

* * *

"Mum, for the last time, I'm not wearing those!" Tonks exclaimed, exasperated as she glared at the white heels.

"Well, you can't possibly be thinking of going to your wedding in those Auror boots!" Andromeda snapped, fussing over her hair.

"No," She replied, "I'm not wearing any shoes," Tonks announced as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Andromeda looked aghast and Ted rolled his eyes, "Dora, your feet will be filthy,"

"I don't care!" Tonks snapped, "no one can see them anyway! I would have enough trouble walking down the aisle in his gown!" She scowled at the long flowing gown that she had tripped over many times already just by walking from her room to the door.

Andromeda opened her mouth to protest but Ted sighed and stopped her, "Forget it 'Dromeda. We'll be late for the wedding if we argue any further. Leave her be," Tonks grinned and hiked up her gown to walk outside for apparition. She heard Andromeda muttering behind her as they followed.

With a deep breath, Tonks gathered her nerves and apparated.

The church looked beautiful. She couldn't believe Remus looked sheepish when he suggested it.

Andromeda sighed, seemingly coming to terms with her daughter's lack of footwear as she stood in front of her. Andromeda did final touch up on her hair before kissing her on her cheek. Tonks smiled a tight smile, feeling her anxiety and nerves bubbling.

Andromeda turned and entered the church before them.

"Ready, Dora?" Ted raised his arm and Tonks gulped, looping her wrist over the crook of Ted's arm. She felt her dad take a step and couldn't seem to move her feet.

Tonks had worried Remus would feel insecure as he got ready and had sent him a patronus to boost his confidence; knowing that man needed it after all he had been through that had beaten down his confidence. Now, she was feeling that insecurity.

"Dora?" Ted frowned.

"Daddy…" She started, "Am I pretty today?" Tonks suddenly felt very stupid.

Ted looked horrified she would ask that, "Everyday, Dora,"

"What if I'm not a good wife?" Tonks tightened her hand around his arm.

"Remus would still love you," Ted offered and Tonks couldn't help but look skeptical, "The look in his eyes, when he looks at you, changed my mind about him the second time he came around. A look which told me, he would love my daughter, truly and fiercely until his last breath."

She looked down. He was right, Remus would love her. And that was enough to carry her down that aisle, smile at the little people witnessing, smile that special smile for her handsome husband, allow her father to entrust her with Remus and say the words. _I do_.

He kissed her. It was sweet. It was tender. It was breathtaking.

"You look amazing," He whispered in her ear as they parted. She felt like she had lost her voice and settled to press a kiss to his cheek instead, laughing.

With her hand in Remus', they turned to thank the priest and then to Tonks' parents. Andromeda was sobbing into her hankerchief.

Ted patted Remus on the shoulder. Tonks was surprised to see Molly and Arthur behind them. Molly had tears in her eyes as well as she leant forward to hug Tonks, "Molly, thank you for coming," Tonks smiled but froze as she looked past Molly's shoulder and saw Charlie leant up against the wall at the side of the church.

She smiled tentatively at her and he walked over.

He was wearing a smart suit, his hair combed and he was smiling at her.

"You look…beautiful, Tonks," Charlie told her with a small smile, pulling her in for a tight embrace, "Take care of her, Remus,"

"I will," Remus replied, nodding solemnly.

"Thanks Char,"

A bark startled them. They looked up in time to see a shaggy black dog pounce on Remus. The dog had his tongue hanging out and his mouth was curled in what looked eerily like a grin.

"Snuffles!" Tonks laughed as the dog turned to her, licking her face.

"Oh no, you don't!" Andromeda snapped, grabbing Snuffles roughly by the scruff of his neck, yanking the dog off her despite his whine of pain of having a clump of fur torn out, "Her make up took an hour!"

Snuffles whined even louder, eventually sat beside Andromeda, barking at Remus.

Remus laughed, "No, you don't get to tell me 'I told you so'!"

Snuffles threw back his head and barked again.

"I know I am lucky," Remus smiled, gazing at Tonks.

Snuffles escaped from Andromeda's side and barked at Remus again, his hackles raised and growling slightly.

Remus snorted, "As if I'm capable of it. Auror Tonks will knock me on my arse,"

Tonks watched in disbelief, "how can you understand what he's saying?"

Remus shrugged, "He's predictable that way," He ducked as Snuffles dove.

* * *

"Welcome home," Remus whispered in her ear. He slipped his hand in hers and together, they walked across the grassy hill towards their house.

The flowers that he planted yesterday brightened up their dull garden and made Tonks squeal. Her hair turning the brightest pink he had ever seen. Smiling, he watched her lean over to smell the flowers.

"Thought you might like them,"

"I love them," She assured, beaming at him. Gently, he tugged her towards the house and earned a smirk, "so eager, Mr Lupin,"

Remus chuckled, "Merlin…What am I to do with you?" If he was to be honest, he was awestruck with how beautiful she looked. She wore a simple and elegant white halter neck dress which left her back bare. The flowing fabric clung onto her curves snugly. Around her neck, Tonks donned a choker. It was beautiful and exquisite, an emerald jewel in the center of it.

"Whatever newly wedded husbands do to their wives," She sauntered, uncharacteristically gracefully, closer to him with every word. Remus stopped breathing as he felt her slim body up against his. His throat suddenly felt uncomfortably dry.

"Nymphadora," He spoke but his voice came out croaking.

She frowned, leaning in and kissing him on the lips, hard, "don't call me Nymphadora!"

"Not even as your husband?" Remus' voice sounded too high to his ears as Tonks placed both his hands on her shapely hips.

"Not even as my husband," She confirmed.

"But you're not a Tonks anymore," Remus protested half heartedly as Tonks nuzzled his neck, "and it's impersonal, Dora," he decided firmly and smiled in triumph as she nodded. Sucking in a sharp breath as she pressed a firm kiss to his neck, he growled, sweeping her off her feet and into his arms.

"Remus," She laughed as he marched her into the house and straight up the stairs and into their bed room. Remus placed her gently on the bed, using scourgify on her muddy bare feet.

He frowned, crouching forward, holding her feet gently in his hand. Her toenails were painted bubblegum pink to match her hair, "you should've worn something," Remus told her disapprovingly as he saw the cut on the sole of her feet.

Tonks laughed, "And trip to hurt my knee instead of my feet? And ruin my dress at the same time? No thank you,"

Remus chuckled, raising his wand. He muttered a spell and watched, satisfied as the cut sealed itself. He healed several cuts that she had. When he was done, he heard her laugh, "What?" Remus looked offended but pleased she was happy.

"You wonderful, caring man, distracted by a few cuts from our initial intention of being here in the first place," She cupped his cheek in her hands and felt them warming up.

"Sirius would probably accuse me of being gay," Remus muttered, averting her eyes.

Tonks scoffed, "Sirius...is a prick and you are the kindest-" She removed his dress robe and unbuttoned his vest, "sweetest-" Her deft fingers removed his bow tie within seconds and began unbuttoning his shirt, "funniest-" She pushed his vest and shirt completely off him, revealing his bare torso, "and sexiest man I've ever met," She paused and Remus looked away.

He was too pale, too thin and had too many scars. Remus knew from the time he had in Hogwarts. Sharing a bunk and Sirius Black and James Potter, he found out that his thin body was incomparable with theirs. He would have gotten a tan every summer as James and Sirius got theirs but he was too embarrassed to remove his shirt at the beach because of his scars-

"Oh Remus," He could feel her small hands hold his face and slid down his neck. Remus couldn't look at her; he couldn't stand seeing her looking at him with disgust. Her hand rested on his abdomen as she reached up to fist the back of his hair, pulling him in for a kiss.

He was thoroughly surprised as she kissed him. She moaned into the kiss, breaking for air and pulling him in for a hug.

"Dora…" He muttered, "How can you want me?"

"How can I not?" Dora breathed out on his shoulder, her hands on his scarred back, "Do you?"

"What?" He could hardly hear her with blood roaring in his ear.

"Don't you want me?" Her voice was sensual and all Remus could feel was her soft lips on his shoulder.

He almost laughed, his trembling hands touching her bare back, "Since the very beginning." Her quickened breaths as his warm hands touched her back emboldened him. His fingers undid the knot at the small of her back and unzipped her dress a small way down her back.

Remus stared as her dress pooled around her waist.

She was beautiful. He had always known that but right now, she looked stunning and he couldn't seem to avert his eyes. His mind was blank but of her. His hands trembled, hesitant to touch her; she looked so perfect. Her cheeks had a faint blush and he smiled, brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers.

She wound her arms over his shoulder and fisted his hair with both her hands. Dora pulled Remus closer and on top of her as she lay back onto the bed. Remus went.

* * *

"Nymphadora…" He whispered, kissing her collarbone. She moaned, arching her back and pressing them closer together. He smiled as he rolled off her and wrapped his arms around her instead. She was evidently falling asleep, "Nymphadora," He whispered again, inducing a sleepy smile from her, "Nympha-"

She laughed as she pressed her lips to his, "Don't push it,"

Remus chuckled, amused, "You didn't mind that about 2 minutes ago,"

"2 minutes ago, you were making sweet love to me," She muttered, her eyes closed and her words slightly slurred. Remus kissed her forehead and let her sleep while he studied her.

Her morph was completely gone; loss in their throes of passion.

He glimpsed two large scars. on the back of her shoulder and her arm. as she shifted. Her legs were slightly longer without her morph and her hips were wider. Her hair was mousey brown that matched his perfectly. She still had her heart shaped face but Remus noticed her cheekbones were slightly different. The Dora he was used to had slightly rounder cheekbones. It wasn't hard to guess that she had inherited high cheekbones from her mother's side of the family and had morphed it away, resenting her relatives. Her lips are the same; the ones Remus loved to kiss.

All in all, she doesn't look much different. Dora was still Dora, his wife now.

"Goodnight, Mrs Lupin," He whispered as he gazed at her, chuckling to himself in the dark, too happy to succumb to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I hope this remedy the previous chapter which got Remus/Tonks fans a little worried! I'm, admittedly, not good at wedding scenes and describing clothes, as you can probably tell, I hope you enjoyed it all the same!

A big thank you to the reviewers of last chapter; JKStorm501, remusdora, Guest, Guest and Lupinesence! You guys made this chapter come out real quick with your evident angst! ;)

Oh and I thought of an idea to make a companion piece to this story, of Mad-Eye and Bellatrix (a slightly more complete picture than what I gave in Mad-Eye's memories), what do you think?

Please do drop me a review to tell me about this chapter and the idea!


	44. Chapter 44: Preparations

Chapter 44: Preparations

"Remus!"

He marked his page before putting the book aside. Knowing what it was all about, Remus had the decency to go to his wife looking sheepish. She was standing in the kitchen, dangerous territory for her but she wanted a cookie. She was always starving after she returned from work. Remus peered into the kitchen tentatively as she turned.

Dora was wearing her hair red; which meant she was really angry. He gulped, looking behind her to see his stash of chocolate exposed.

"What is this?" She demanded.

Remus shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant rather than guilty, "Chocolate…" She raised a brow and he continued, "From honeydukes…." His voice trailed off.

She placed her hands on her hips and it brought his attention to the skin tight tank top she changed into from her Auror uniform on a hot summer evening. It took him a moment to realise she's speaking, "Why did you buy so many?" She was frowning, "I know you like chocolate but this is absolutely ridiculous…where will I put the coffee and tea now?"

He glanced up and she was right. His stash of chocolate hogged up the whole overhead cupboard but it didn't felt like much when he was purchasing them.

"I bought some of your favourite," Remus offered weakly and Dora looked, evidently surprised when she noticed, "you still like the coffee ones right? The ones with the peanuts in it…" He bit his lips, feeling nervous for his chocolate, knowing Dora was more than capable of blasting them into oblivion.

He saw the edge of her lips twitch with a hint of a smile and her grey eyes softened and Remus felt himself let out a breath of relief.

"The last time I had those…" Dora paused, "it was at least 2 years ago, Remus," She allowed a small smile as she took his face in her hands, "and not some, you bought the shelf down,"

Remus chuckled, "No I didn't," he assured, "and the coffee and tea fits perfectly in the drawer,"

"Can you not live without chocolate?" Dora smirked.

"I can't live without you,"

Dora frowned, "Where did you learn that?" Remus smiled guiltily, knowing nothing escapes her. She chewed her lip as she thought, "it sounds like….Sirius Black," Her beautiful grey eyes were watching him intensely, making him squirm. After their wedding, Remus dropped in to check on Sirius and it ended up being an afternoon of plotting how to convince Tonks that having excess chocolate in the house would not hurt. Sirius insisted that being romantic and sweet always worked in having the woman agree to anything.

He sighed, nodding before looking at her imploringly, "Dora, it's just chocolate… please don't throw them out?"

"Don't look at me like that, you know I can't say no to that," She snapped and Remus grinned, "and what makes you think I'll throw them out," She frowned.

He shrugged, chuckling, "my mum used to throw them out. I ate so much of that I got sick," At her raised brow, he ducked his head and grabbed one off the shelf, tearing off the wrapper, "here," He offered her one and she ate.

"It's good," She commented with a smile.

"So…" Remus watched her and glanced at his chocolate.

"So, I'm cool with it. As long as you don't sleep with them and you don't eat so much you get sick," Dora rolled her eyes. Remus laughed in triumph, kissing her deeply on her lips, pulling away to see her in absolute shock, "Wow," She laughed, "you do love chocolate more than you love me!"

He grinned, "you're catching up fast, Dora,"

* * *

Remus smiled at her as they both put on their coat before heading out the door to apparate. Before they did, Tonks touched his shoulder and he turned to her with a questioning look on his face.

She smiled at him, "when we get back from the meeting, I have some good news to tell you,"

Remus frowned, puzzled before nodding.

Grimmauld Place looked the same. The streets were quiet despite it being summer and they both knew it was due to the destruction that Voldemort paved, even in the muggle world.

"Come on," He muttered, placing an assuring hand on the small of her back as they kept their heads low and walked up to the door of Grimmauld. Tonks turned the handle and they slipped in. Remus took her hand comfortably now, almost a habit. He didn't see her smile at him, squeezing his hand, as he was listening and watching. Grimmauld place was always quiet for the portrait of Walburga Black but they could hear noises from the kitchen.

She stifled a cry of surprise as she tripped over the umbrella stand, held steady by Remus who smiled back at her.

"Hi Moony, hello cuz!" Sirius waved exuberantly, winking at her and she knew what he was still on about; their marriage.

She rolled her eyes, "Wotcher, prick,"

Sirius winced, "touché cousin. Is Moony not giving you a good time in marriage?"

"Shut up," Dora snapped, a small smile on her lips as she rounded the table and hugged her cousin heartily.

"Remus, Tonks! We have cake here, help yourselves!" Molly walked around the table, hugging them both.

"Thank you, Molly," Remus replied, seating himself beside Tonks.

After a moment later, members of the Order gathered around the table. There were Dedalus Diggle, Snape, Kingsley, Hagrid, Mundungus, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Arthur and Molly. Tonks was surprised to see Ron and Hermione there as well and waved to them.

It was awkward for a moment as silence hung in the air. Kingsley cleared his throat and stood, "Thank you for coming. If a few of you weren't inform, we're here to discuss how we're going to escort Harry from Privet Drive as the protection his aunt placed on him will be gone by the time he turns 17 in 2 weeks time. Maybe if any of you have any ideas…please offer them," He finished. Tonks smiled as she caught his eye, nodding.

"Floo? Portkey? Apparition?" Diggle spoke up.

Remus shook his head, "The ministry have close tabs on that, don't they?" Both Tonks and Kingsley nodded, "they can't know we're shifting Harry. For all we know, Voldemort-" Many people winced around the table, "have already infiltrated the ministry," his voice tightened as he finished, squeezing Tonks' hand under the table.

"Remus is right," Arthur seconded.

"We can fly him," Tonks offered, "the last time we did that and it went well. Harry flew well,"

There were nods all around and Sirius grinned at her.

"When will we be shifting him?" Sirius asked, "On his birthday?"

Kingsley shook his head, "it would have to be quicker than that; they would expect us to shift him on his birthday," They agreed that they will be shifting Harry on the 27th and went on to be stumped as to how they would ensure it was safer.

Considering the same escort they had, everyone agreed it wasn't foolproof if they were really attacked.

Mundungus raised his hand, "maybe we could have more than 1 Harry, like clones of him to throw death eaters off his trail if it comes to that,"

The others were stumped that Mundungus was participating momentarily. They pondered it nonetheless before nods were seen around the table.

"Polyjuice potion should do the trick," Bill offered, "and every 'Harry' should travel with someone, for safety and realism of course,"

"We volunteer to be 'Harry's," Fred and George said and Kingsley glanced to Molly's pale face before nodding.

"7 Harrys should be just enough," Kingsley said, "Anyone else volunteers?"

"Us," Hermione raised her hand, gesturing at Ron as well and Kingsley nodded.

"I will do tiz for 'arry," Fleur spoke and Bill smiled sideways at her.

The kitchen fell into silence again as no one else volunteered.

Kingsley cleared his throat, "Tonks? Your morph actually makes you an ideal candidate to be a 'Harry',"

She blinked, "King, I'll be much more useful as a protector-"

"I agree with Kingsley," Remus muttered and she turned to him, aghast. Then she realised what they were on about and Remus spoke, confirming her suspicions, "Dora, they'll recognise you…"

"I can take care of myself and whoever I'm protecting," She insisted, "Dung can't possibly be a protector," Tonks countered, jerking her chin to the corner where Mundungus was slumped over. Kingsley sighed, kicking his chair and the man in question jerked awake.

"What?" He sniffed, blinking.

Kingsley turned back to Tonks, nodding after a glance as Remus, "Okay, Dung will be our last 'Harry' and the protectors will be…?"

A few hands were raised and Kingsley read them off, "myself, Arthur, Bill, Remus, Tonks-" Remus frowned, "Hagrid and…Sirius…"

Molly was the first to protest.

"We're all going to hell if this goes badly, Molly. What makes you think I should sit this out and bury you all," There were hisses and winces around the table at Sirius' crude and morbid words but that effectively silenced the lot of protests he had.

"Okay, so we have six and of course we'll have to escort Harry's relatives. Dedalus?" Kingsley turned to the man who nodded.

"Sure thing Kingsley, I'll set up a safehouse for them and escort them there before our mission goes underway,"

They next discussed the destination and agreed that it shouldn't be the same destination for it would be too conspicuous and defeat the purpose of having diversions. They decided to use portkeys to arrive at the burrow from their given destination to regroup. It took them another hour to come up with 7 safe houses with Tonks offering her parents' house, fulfilling Andromeda's wish to be more involved since their daughter was already 'wand deep in it'.

The meeting ended on a solemn note to meet up the evening of 27th at Grimmauld before many of the members flooded out of the kitchen.

Tonks noticed Remus' rigid posture and his eyes stubbornly set to look forward and instantly knew he was mad at her. Tentatively, she slipped a hand into his and he took her hand but his hold lack that relaxed and soft touch.

"Tonksie, how's married life?" Sirius began conversationally behind her.

She gazed at Remus for a couple of seconds before sighing and turning to Sirius, "Good. Remus is an excellent husband,"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Excellent?" He snorted, "only if excellent had the same meaning as lecherous. Or unless you're talking about his bed skills which I know nothing of, other than that he snores, but I did hear he is pretty good,"

Remus shook his head at Sirius, closing his eyes momentarily while Tonks smirked, turning away.

At the end of the table, Molly clucked her tongue as she caught wind of their conversation, glancing to see her kids otherwise occupied and looked relief.

"Molly," Remus spoke abruptly, rising from his chair, "We'll be making a move,"

"We are?" Tonks turned to him, frowning but mirrored him nonetheless.

"Won't you having dinner before leaving?" Molly asked with a frown. Remus smiled and shook his head kindly before excusing himself and Tonks from Grimmauld Place. Sirius pursed his lips as he silently watched them leave.

Tonks offered him a small wave before disappearing out the door.

As they exited Grimmauld place, Remus stopped.

"Remus?" She touched his arm and was surprised as he pulled her into a firm hug. Without warning, he disapparated, bringing her along. It took all her self control not to struggle or even twitch as she would splinch.

As they materialize on the outskirts of their house, she scowled, pushing him away, "what the hell was that?" Tonks instantly regretted sounding harsher than she intended. She felt humiliated and angry with him for bringing her on side-long apparition without asking her. Remus didn't reply, studying her face with guarded blue eyes, "Remus!"

He spoke calmly, "why are you so very much against being protected?" Hurt flinted across his eyes and Tonks paused.

She set her jaw, brows knitted and no doubt, her hair was shoulder length and red, "I don't need protection, I'm an _Auror_, Remus. For Merlin's sake-" For the second time that day, Remus grabbed her around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug, his arms had an iron grip around her. For the first time, Tonks fought his embrace, trying to squirm away but he was stronger than she was physically.

"I know you're an Auror," His voice was soft but firm, his teeth clenched, "Dora, you are so precious to me. Why can't you understand and let me protect you, give me a peace of mind that I can protect my wife and that my wife is _safe_! That's all I want! I don't want to lose you!" He sounded absolutely torn, "I just wish I could apparate you away from everything, from this war, from danger,"

She had never heard him talk to her, agitated, like that. She stopped squirming away, the side of her head pressed up against his chest, her smaller frame wrapped up snugly in his arms.

"You don't know what 'dangerous' is," He muttered, calming as she did. Tonks glanced out the corner of her eye to see her hair fading from red to pink. His embrace was comfortable, safe, warm and nice… she felt like she could stay there forever, "and I know worry too well,"

She picked at the lapels of his brown coat, "You won't lose me,"

He tightened his embrace on her, "I just feel like…you're slipping away no matter how tightly I hold onto you. Like this war is going to take you away from me forever,"

Tonks lifted her head off his chest to look him in the eye, "Just don't let me go,"

Remus chuckled bitterly, "I have a problem with that. Whoever I try to hold onto, I lose grasp on them,"

Planting a chaste kiss on his lips, she pressed her face into his neck, "not me,"

* * *

Tonks turned over in her sleep, bumping into her husband lightly. She woke, being trained to be a light sleeper. Opening her eyes, she could see some light filtering through the curtains and from that, see the face of her husband. He slept on his stomach again and half his face was buried in his pillow. He snored lightly, barely stirring as she bumped into him.

Smiling, she reached to brush aside his fringe which was growing longer and needed cutting. Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit her and Tonks shot out of bed, running to the toilet. She dropped to her knees by the toilet bowl, throwing up her dinner magnificently. It lasted a while but eventually came to a stop. She rinsed out the bile from her mouth, cringing at the aftertaste.

She glanced into the toilet bowl, frowning as she glimpsed the mess before flushing the toilet. Swallowing, she pressed a hand to her belly. She realised that she was shaking. Tonks had mildly suspected it when she was late but it was never confirmed. She wanted to tell Remus her suspicion last night but forgot all about it, amidst their slight disagreement. Signing up for the mission had been negligence on her part as she never thought it would be true and the thought of her becoming a mother was ridiculous but not so much now as she felt her belly.

Tonks realised her belly was slightly swollen, curving outwards as she felt it, she gulped.

"Dora?" Remus lumbered sleepily into the toilet, "did you vomit? I thought I heard something…" His eyes were half closed, his hair was in a magnificent mess. He was lacking a shirt and only wore his pyjamas pants. Tonks dropped her hand immediately, not knowing what made her do so, and smiled at him.

"I did," She replied, shrugging, "it's no big deal, I think the chicken last night made me a bit sick,"

Remus knitted his brows, touching her forehead, "no fever, how do you feel?"

Tonks took his hand from her forehead in between both of hers, "Absolutely fine," He scrutinized her for a moment before he succumbed to sleep, turning to head back to bed. Tonks looked down at her belly, "we will be fine, won't we?" She whispered.

* * *

**A/N: I have put up a companion piece for this story, 'worth' that explores more of Mad-Eye's past! Do check it out and leave me a review! I'll post the second and last part to that piece shortly after this!**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Special thanks to my reviewers for the last chapter; pleione-x, Guest, remusdora, JKStorm501, Lupinesence! Thank you so much you guys!**

**Do leave me a review for this one! : )**


	45. Chapter 45: Battle

A/N: Hey! I've recently posted up a story that has more details about Mad-Eye's past that is mentioned in this story (a companion piece titled 'worth')! So feel free to check it out if you're interested and drop me a review : ) Thanks!

Chapter 45: Battle

Remus watched from his position, sprawled on his stomach, on their bed, his arms hanging over the edge of the mattress. His beautiful wife was picking out her outfit as she shredded her auror robes and let them sink to the floor.

"Something warm, Dora," he reminded and Tonks nodded, picking out a thick blue jumper, that was a favourite of his on her, and pulled it over her blouse. She grabbed a simple black trenchcoat and put it on, buttoning it up. She turned around, nudging the door of the wardrobe shut with her bum, making Remus smile despite himself.

She watched him fondly for a few quiet seconds before closing the gap between them. She dropped to her knees before him so that their faces were leveled. She brought her fingers up and traced his forehead gently, "stop worrying," she told him with a frown, "you're developing worry lines,"

Remus watched her unblinkingly, propping himself up using his elbows. For the life of him, he couldn't understand how someone could be constantly beautiful, "I love you,"

She smiled, "I love you too," Tonks broke eye contact with him reluctantly to glance at the clock on the wall, "it's time," he could feel his jaw clenching at that thought but nodded nonetheless, sitting up. They walked down the steps quietly. As Remus turned to their broom cupboard to retrieve their brooms, he heard Tonks shuffle back into the house. With both brooms in hand, Remus waited for a few minutes passed and he still didn't hear anything.

"Dora?" He called, walking into the house after her. He found her standing in front of the mantle of the fireplace, "hey…" Remus placed a hand on the small of her back, following her gaze to the picture of Mad-Eye on the mantle; the one with Lyra. Mad-Eye smiled towards the camera before gazing fondly at his daughter.

"He should be here with us," She muttered.

Remus wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into his side, "he is. He's always watching over you,"

Something flickered in her grey eyes before she blinked and nodded, forcing a smile as she turned to him, "I got you this, in case," She handed him a bar of chocolate.

Remus was amused as he took it, "thank you," He mumbled as he peeled the wrapper off.

"Now?" She frowned.

"Yes, now," He nodded, feeding her the chocolate, "eat, it'll help you smile," Tonks shook her head in amusement before she took a bite dutifully, her eyes never leaving his.

They left the house and Remus side-longed her. Tonks watched him intently as they apparated to the doorstep of Grimmauld Place. The narrow corridor was flooding with people, all serious but still slightly cheery, probably for the sake of the younger ones.

"Tonks!" Ginny stepped forward from her mum and hugged her. Tonks returned the hug, tearing her gaze from Remus. Ginny's embrace was strangely tight and Tonks returned it as such. Ginny was a brave girl but in a situation like this, who knew what would happen to any of them and an intuitive girl like Ginny could feel the tension despite the false cheeriness.

"That's everyone," Tonks saw Kingsley nod to Remus and Sirius, who rushed over to greet his best friend, from the corner of her eye, "let's go," Kingsley's deep voice boomed.

"I'll be waiting at the burrow, be safe, Tonks," Ginny muttered and Tonks gave her one last squeeze before they parted. Remus smiled a forced smile at Ginny and proceeded to guide Tonks out, a hand on the small of her back.

Kingsley waved his wand and Tonks saw the thestrals he mentioned they were going to use for those not familiar with the broom. She paused and realised that in her time at Hogwarts, she had been unable to see the thestrals; now she could. The sight of them didn't stun her as much as the significance behind seeing them. She remembered that she had not only seen people die since she graduated, one of them being her own mentor, she had also killed some.

"Dora?" Remus was looking at her, frowning in worry, "feeling okay? You can stay at the burrow with Molly and Ginny if you're feeling unwell-"

She shot him a withering look to let him know his efforts were much too obvious, "I'm fine. Let's go,"

She mounted her broom and Remus watched with pursed lips under his moustache, mounting his broom. Kingsley's thestral took off first and the rest followed. Remus, Sirius, Arthur and herself were on brooms, Bill and Kingsley on thestrals and Hagrid was on Sirius' motorcycle, now with a sidecar installed. Fleur, Mundungus, Hermione, Ron, Fred and George were all seated behind a protector and she realised, in her distraction, she was flying alone.

The cold winds were chilly and the wind was rushing in her ear. She glimpsed Bill guide the thestral to fly by her, "alright there?" He called with a grin.

She smiled, "I may be out of practice for a while but I still know how to ride a broom and I can still kick Gryffindor's butt in Quidditch,"

Bill's laugh was cut off by the wind, "as if, Hufflepuff!"

"Yeah, as if Hufflepuff!" Fred and George said from behind Remus and Arthur.

Tonks snorted, "Merlin, I'm surrounded by Gryffindors, chivalrous and bloody noble,"

"That sounds like a happy place to be, you're surrounded by hunks," Sirius' sounded way too close for comfort and Tonks swerved her broom expertly. As she expected, Sirius faltered on his broom, failing to tackle her by the side. Mundungus, seated behind Sirius, yelped frantically and struggled to regain his balance.

She laughed lightly, poking her tongue out at him.

"That's my wife, Padfoot," Tonks caught wind of Remus' snip remark.

Sirius smirked, "Come now, Moony, why are you being so sirius on such a wonderful night?"

Tonks and many others snorted and she rolled her eyes at the pun; overused and old.

"Focus!" Kingsley snapped back at them, Hermione seated behind him.

Tonks made a face at him, "Don't be a Mad-Eye, King! It's unbecoming of you!" She shouted at him. Despite the wind roaring in her ear, whipping her coat and hair all over the place, Tonks could sense the awkward silence of everyone around her. They were watching her, some frowning in worry, some surprised. Remus' laugh broke the heavy silence and George followed. Sirius echoed that with a roaring laugh.

Kingsley's tone was disapproving but his lips were curved in a smile, "Do you always insist on being exceptionally sassy with the person heading a mission, Nymphadora?" His tone was dripping with emphasis on her name and she scowled at him, her hair turning black.

"I dare you to say that horrible word again," Her wand was already in hand, teeth clenched. Her tone was screaming that she meant business.

Kingsley opened his mouth but seemed to change his mind, shut it again, shrugging.

"That horrible word," The wind carried Remus' voice to her, "is your beautiful name," She shot him a patronising smile.

"I'll race you, Nymphie! 2 galleons for the winner!" Sirius yelled before he sped ahead, laughing as Mundungus squeaked, clutching Sirius for dear life. Tonks smirked, ignoring Remus' warning for her not to, and spurred her broom forward.

Privet Drive was quiet as Tonks touched down, stumbling a little before regaining her balance. A moment later, Sirius touched down as well, scowling and muttering, "cheater," The rest arrived as well, watching their interesting exchange of Sirius' sulk and Tonks' smug smile. Mundungus was pale and shaking from the cold.

Remus smiled when he saw that she had landed safely. He worried for her, despite George's casual assurance that Tonks knew how to fly a broom well, being in the Quidditch team back in her days at Hogwarts. She took his hand assuringly when she saw him.

"2 galleons, Padfoot, pay up," Remus grinned, the wide smile and twinkle in his wife' eyes made him decide to loosen up a little and play along.

Sirius dug into his pocket reluctantly, "cheat," He grudgingly tossed two galleons at them which they caught, one each.

"Don't blame it on my wife if you're simply slow," Tonks was surprised when Remus retorted on her behalf, showing no qualms about their little game.

"Moony," Sirius whined in his puppy dog manner.

"Shut up, Black," Tonks snapped as Hagrid's motorbike roared to a stop and they approached the door. Ron and Hermione stepped up to the door but before they could knock, it flung open to reveal a bespectacled boy, taller, broader around the shoulders than Tonks remembered. She watched with a smile as Harry embraced his friends, a wide grin on his face.

"You're looking fit!" Hagrid commented with a grin.

"Sirius!" Harry's smile widened, just when Tonks thought it couldn't anymore, as he and Sirius embraced, "Prof-" Harry paused, "Remus!" Tonks suppressed a giggle at his slip as Remus hugged the boy.

"Let's get in," Kingsley said urgently just as Harry was about to turn to her.

They shuffled into the house, Harry walking astride her, "Guess what, Harry," She winked, showing him the ring she decided to wear tonight despite Remus' objections. She glimpsed Remus, who was walking a step behind them, ducking his head.

"You got married?" Harry gaped, looking from Remus to her, "congratulations!" He grinned and Tonks placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It was really quiet, sorry we couldn't invite you," She said and Harry waved it off, smiling.

"Harry, the wedding isn't that important," Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned, nudging Harry, "The important thing is, Moony finally lost his virg-"

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, kicked him in the shin, hard. Sirius doubled over, his eyes watering. Fred and George snickered loudly. Harry held mirth in his eyes as he watched Sirius try to throttle Remus for that.

Tonks giggled, looking away and around them. Arthur was checking out the windows, Bill and Fleur were the last to enter the doorway.

"Bill, how are you?" Tonks mildly registered Harry striking a conversation with Bill. She wandered over to the window where she could look out into the neighbourhood and the front of the house.

The night was quiet as far as they could tell and dark. She glanced up to notice heavy clouds rolling in; that was bad. It spells bad visibility for them in the skies.

Behind her, she could hear Kingsley briefing Harry about their plan. Remus joined her as she sat up on the window sill. He smiled at her, his fingers brushing hers.

"No! It's too dangerous, taking that becoming me-" Tonks rolled her eyes at the tendency of Gryffindors to be noble, and shot Remus a purposeful look and he had the decency to duck his head. She cracked a smile as Fred and George threw in their comments.

"Harry," she spoke softly, "we know the risks when we signed up for this," She felt Remus' gaze on her, squeezing her hand as she spoke. All around the room, they nodded.

"No!" Harry shook his head stubbornly.

"Come on, Harry, it'll turn out alright," Sirius said, punching Harry's shoulder but the boy had his lips pinched together, his eyes looking over all of them. Hermione rolled her eyes and she shared a look with Kingsley before she yanked a clump of hair off Harry viciously. Tonks cringed for Harry but couldn't help but laugh quietly at Harry's predicament.

It wasn't long before there were seven Harry Potters standing in the room, tearing off layers with an abandon that they wouldn't have if it were their own body.

Tonks snickered, spotting the real Harry's embarrassment of the exposure of his body and winking at him. Harry caught her wink, ducking his head, his blush turning a furious red. Beside her, Remus shook his head, chuckling softly. Remus then looked out the window, saving Harry the extra embarrassment of having him watching as well but Tonks rolled her eyes at his chivalry and watched the Harrys change openly.

Soon, it was time to allocate the partners to their protectors.

"Fleur's not that comfortable on a broom, I'll take her on Thestrals," Bill spoke up and the Harry, who was Fleur, blinked sappily at her husband in a manner that made Tonks laugh into her hand.

Kingsley nodded, "Arthur will take Fred, George with Remus," Remus smiled a strained smile at her, squeezing her hand before walking over to join George, "Hermione, with me on thestrals," Hermione smiled, nodding, "Sirius with Mundungus-"

"I should take Harry," Sirius protested but Kingsley shook his head and Tonks agreed.

"Sirius, if the Auror shows up, they'll be after you and if they catch you, they'll have Harry as well," Tonks cut in and Sirius pursed his lips before nodding admittedly.

"Harry with Hagrid, they'll never guess that," Kingsley said and Tonks nodded.

"That leaves you and me, Ron!" She waved to him from her seat on the window sill. The youngest boy of the Weasleys smiled at her and she walked over to join him. Kingsley reminded them of their plan before they all shuffled out the door.

She felt a gentle hand on her arm as she stepped out of the house and she stopped. Remus placed both hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye, "Dora, promise me you'll be careful,"

The fear in his eyes, the tremble of his hand and the hard tone surprised her. She locked eyes with him, cupping his cheek in her palm, revelling in the feel of his rough stubble under her palm, "Only if you will,"

Remus nodded, his jaw clenched, "I promise you,"

"So do I," Tonks smiled, "I promise," She froze as she caught a flash of anger and hurt in his eyes before he pulled her into a firm hug, pressing a hard kiss to her forehead. As quickly as his embrace came, it was gone and she felt cold all of a sudden. I love you, She mouthed, although she knew he had his back to her and wouldn't see.

She smiled at Ron, who looked like Harry at the moment, before mounting her broom, glancing at Remus do the same in that rigid posture he always had when he was worried.

"Hold on tight, Ron," Tonks said cheerily and felt Ron's hand around her waist uncertainly.

"Go!" Kingsley gave the signal and everyone shot to the sky. She could hear her heart thumping in her chest in the exhilaration she felt from flying. The clouds made her coat damp and she was glad for the jumper Remus reminded her to wear.

The screams and sounds of spells hitting spells were deafening and it surrounded them. She blinked and it took a moment for her brain to register that they still had a mission no matter what happened. She already had her wand in hand as she flew in the direction of Muriel's house, Ron's great aunt.

"POTTER!" Tonks could hear someone, who sounded like Yaxley, roar behind her.

Glimpsing a stream of white heading towards them, Tonks flicked her wand and parried it away, casting a shield charm around them, "R-Harry, stay low!" She shouted back as she herself leaned lower over the broom to speed it up. She could feel Ron heed her instructions and he was yelling spells behind them as well. She casted defensive spells around them rapidly, shooting stunners at Death Eaters who were going to barrel right into them.

She spurred her broom to move faster and they broke off from the thick of the attack. As the sounds of battle were left behind, Tonks glanced back to see 6 of the death eaters after them. She swore inwardly, picking up speed.

Her eyes widened as she heard someone scream the killing curse, "Get down!" Ron did and she swerved the broom, the green light skimming her ear.

"Stupefy, stupefy!" Ron shouted.

"Itty Bitty Nymphie!" Tonks froze and Ron threw a stunner behind them. She glimpsed the spell disintegrate before she saw her aunt's face. Bellatrix's black eyes were wide and eager, her hair wild and frizzy around her face and her lips were curled into a wide smirk, "The Dark Lord will be disappointed to see you protecting baby Potter!" Tonks gritted her teeth, ignored the chill in her bones that set at the thought that the person threatening her and her unborn child was her aunt, "the Dark Lord wants you so much I'm convinced he'll drop by to get you himself!"

She swore. It had never occurred to her that Voldemort would do so as Harry always seemed the most important and she wasn't carrying Harry- She froze, but he doesn't know that and with her rash and stubborn behaviour, she had put Ron in danger.

She glanced back and threw three curses in quick succession, allowing some mild satisfaction to fill her with comfort as she heard one of them yelp and plunge down to the ground. Tonks even allowed a smile as she realised it was Rodolphus, her uncle-in-law.

"How dare you! You abomination! You've brought enough shame to our family and now you marry that filthy half breed-"

Rage made her hand tremble and sparks flew out the tip of her wand. She could swallow insults relatively alright. However, Remus had been through enough and every night, as she gazed at him as he slept, she couldn't understand how the world could hate such a kind and gentle man. The rage threatened to engulf her and she felt her mind cloud up into darkness as she shot two spells at someone flying alongside them and two more back at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix screeched in pain and Tonks glanced back to see that her sleeve was burnt away to reveal blackened skin.

"Your mudblood father and blood traitor mother will pay for everything, after you're dead, I'll kill them!" Bellatrix screamed.

"Tonks!" Ron-Harry shouted, his voice higher by an octave and Tonks glimpsed multiple curses headed their way. She took the broom down to a sharp dive and majority of it missed them. Ron screamed as one skimmed his shoulder. The impact sent him reeling forward into Tonks. She felt the wind got knocked out of her as Ron barreled into her. Even if he was shifted to have a smaller frame, Harry's body, he was still larger than her.

She staggered, struggling to regain balance while casting a shield charm behind them. Tonks grunted with the effort to pull the broom up before they crashed. They missed the ground by a few inches before they surged upwards again.

Behind them, she could hear Bellatrix cackle at their predicament.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Tonks shouted and for a moment he didn't respond, inducing panic in her, "Harry!"

"I'm fine!" He replied thickly, an arm around her waist and he was still shouting spells back at them. As she manuveured sharply off course, allowing a death eater to run right into Ron's stunner. He fell back and off his broom, plunging down to meet the same fate as Rodolphus.

"I'm going to kill your filthy half breed of a husband, slowly-"

Before Tonks could stop herself, her wand was raised and a killing curse was sent back to the death eaters. She heard Ron take a sharp intake of breath as he saw her cast it and she instantly regretted it. She glimpsed Bellatrix dive down to avoid it. The killing curse missed her and hit another full in the face. The victim didn't even scream before he slipped off his broom, dead.

"Nymphie just broke the rules," Bellatrix sang, cackling, "Dark magic, the Dark Lord would be proud!"

Suddenly, a wave of giddiness hit her and she reeled, the broom swerving uncontrollably, "Tonks!" Ron shouted, sounding absolutely terrified. She blinked, hard, struggling to see clearly. No no no!  
She shook her head frantically and let out a breath as her vision cleared and world stopped spinning. As she started to attempt to steady the broom, she heard a cry behind her and Ron sagged sideways limply.

She barely had time to grab the broom and the wand as she grabbed for him. Her grasp on his jacket was slippery and as he slid further, Tonks grasped him around his wrist, one hand gripping the broom. Pain shot up her arm from the strain of trying to support Ron's (or Harry's) weight.

"Rennervate!" Tonks cried and Ron stirred, blinking, "Harry, hang on!" Ron looked around and his eyes widened as he glimpsed down. It was a long drop down. She felt him use both his hands to grip her arm and she started to attempt to tug him up but she glimpsed a dark blue jet of light approach Ron's head.

Her eyes widened as she recognised the curse that only Auror and Hit Wizards were permitted to use because of its potential fatality. She frantically tugged the broom sharply and she gritted her teeth as the blue light hit her arm, missing Ron's head by an inch. A loud crack was heard. She gritted her teeth against the burning pain in her arm that made letting go of Ron very tempting.

"Don't let go!" She shouted.

"Tonks…" Ron looked at her, conveying his apology as he held on, just as she instructed. He could feel her broken bones and Tonks gritted her teeth as the broom jerked and Ron's grip tightened.

The broom dipped further abruptly as Tonks felt her body tip and was unable to carry his weight. Harry was heavier and bigger than her. In the background, she could hear Bellatrix cackling as she and her death eaters neared them.

Tonks glanced at the approaching Bellatrix before locking eyes with Ron, "Trust me!" She said and he nodded. But his look of incredulity and shock told her he wasn't prepared when she let go of the broom and slid off it. Gravity dragged them down mercilessly. Tonks almost screamed when Ron's grip on her broken arm tightened but in part, she was glad he held on as she told him to.

Arresto Momento

Tonks' mind, trained to be composed, easily casted the spell and they slowed. In her haste, Tonks let the spell go when they were a few feet off the ground. She casted a cushioning charm for both herself and Ron. The moment her feet hit the ground, she scrambled on her hands and knees. Her hand came in contact with her broom, "Portus," She muttered, putting the outskirts of Muriel's house in mind, just outside the boundaries as the wards made it impossible to teleport to the house. The broom trembled and glowed blue on the ground.

"Tonks!" She heard Ron shout and she turned to see Bellatrix and the other 2 death eaters coming to land a distance from them. Bellatrix was smirking at her, her wand twirling between her fingers. She reached for Ron and he dove, grasping the hand of her broken arm. Pain shot up her arm but she bit back a cry as she reached for the broom.

A jet of white light streamed towards her. Tonks grunted in frustration as she was forced to step back from the broom to avoid it, falling on Ron. Before she could make a second attempt to dive for the broom, Bellatrix was onto her, firing curses and spells in rapid succession. Tonks parried as much as she could, keeping her hold on Ron.

When Bellatrix casted the killing curse, Tonks knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it in time but her wand had a different idea of its own. Fear and the need to survive fueled her strength and a dark shield appeared in front of her. The green jet of light was sucked into it and Bellatrix dove to the side, knowing what came next. Three jet of green emerged and hit the two remaining death eaters full in the face. Only one of them could scream in time before both collapsed.

Her breath hitched in her throat, the fact that she used dark magic sickened her. She could hear Ron whimper as the two bodies hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Nymphie killed people," Bellatrix sang, sneering as Tonks paled.

"Tonks, come on," Ron whimpered but she was deaf to his pleas. Her heart was stone cold, her hands trembling as the realization of what she had done seeped in, "Tonks!" Ron shook her shoulder as Bellatrix sauntered towards them. She blinked, turning to him.

She raised her wand hand and parried away two of Bellatrix's curses, ducking down from the third. A curse was at the tip of her tongue but she hesitated.

Bellatrix then paused and looked up, cackling. Tonks didn't need to look to feel the chill seep into her bones. He's coming.

"Go!" Tonks jumped to her feet, hearing Ron behind her. Fighting Bellatrix had caused them to stray further from the broom than she intended to. She heard Ron throw spells behind them at Bellatrix as they made a mad dash to the broom.

When the chill set in her bones, Tonks knew it was too late. She felt a force push them back, knocking the wind out of her as she fell back, Ron falling a distance from her.

"Nymphadora," The smooth and calm voice sickened her with it's familiarity, "And isn't it Harry, again," She scrambled to her feet, glancing at Ron, thankful that he was still Harry; for she knew that if Voldemort was sure he wasn't, Ron would be killed without hesitation. Voldemort's blood red eyes held mirth, "they are playing a game with us, Bellatrix, isn't it fun?"

Bellatrix spat, "they don't understand that a quick death is easier for them,"

"Now now Bellatrix, let's play nice," Voldemort smirked, his eyes never leaving Tonks, "where is Rodolphus and Jugson?"

"She killed them," Bellatrix hissed.

Voldemort looked as surprised as Tonks had ever saw him, "Nymphadora," He then looked amused, "Dark arts is, eventually, becoming of you, even if your blood is…tainted,"

Tonks was barely listening. She glanced to Ron, who was stunned and seemed to be frozen as he stared at Voldemort.

"I chased Harry Potter, the one I thought to be real, to the safehouse but the wards around it proved impossible to penetrate. It is…well secured," Voldemort said, "We could break it if we gather our forces and if Nymphadora could tell us where Harry Potter would be," She glanced to Ron, "Unless…" He paused, "this is Harry Potter…" His voice trailed off and he turned to Ron. Tonks knew in her gut that the moment he scrutinize Ron, Voldemort would know he was an imposter and kill him. She owed Molly and Arthur too much to let anything happen to Ron.

She had to act now.

When she raised her wand, Bellatrix reacted instantly. Her curse missed Tonks' hand but disarmed her effectively. Tonks swore. She saw Voldemort's confusion but he took a step closer nonetheless. Wandlessly, she put all her focus into it and watched as the broom flew towards Ron.

"Grab it!" Tonks cried and Ron did as he was told.

Realisation seemed to hit Voldemort then, for he made to rush forward but he was too late.

With a flash, Ron, still in the form of Harry, was gone. The night was quiet and Tonks placed a hand on her stomach subconsciously.

"Nymphadora," Voldemort turned to her, his dark eyes seething with rage, "Why do you defy me constantly?"

She didn't speak as she merely glared at him. Tonks couldn't even see her wand and knew that no matter how angry she was, she would never be able to fight off Voldemort and Bellatrix at the same time.

"Come, we'll talk at the mansion," She stiffened as he took a step to her, his lips, so thin they were barely visible, was curled into that of a smile. Without warning, the tips of his finger touched her head and she felt the pull of apparition. She had to remind herself not to move for she knew it would only splinch her.

The mansion floor was cold. It was all she registered after apparition, that and a stinging slap across her cheek that sent her reeling to the floor.

"Tell me Nymphadora, where is Harry Potter sent to?" Voldemort seethed, leaning over her.

She grimaced, feeling her split lip and tasting the blood, "You'll never get to him," Tonks snapped, "he's well protected,"

"Yes, Severus did warn me," Voldemort leaned back, looking about ponderously. Tonks froze. Snape. He was the one who betrayed them, once again. He told the death eaters they would be moving Harry tonight.

Bellatrix was sauntering about behind Voldemort, eyeing her like an animal would eye its prey. Tonks moved to get up and Bellatrix's eyes bugged.

"That ring, is that the ring that filthy werewolf gave you for your wedding?" Bellatrix lunged forward and Tonks cried out as she yanked on her arm viciously, glaring at the ring at close proximity, "I will cut your finger off-"

"Bellatrix," Voldemort raised a hand and Bellatrix paused, displeased as she was dismissed, "you…disappoint me, Nymphadora," He took a step closer, "your talent for Dark arts is extraordinary, comparable to that of Bellatrix, if only you would work at it," Bellatrix hissed in fury at that, "but you have no intention of joining us. Why is that?"

Tonks sat up, cradling her broken arm. She toyed with the idea of feigning to join him again but she knew Voldemort would not be fooled twice and her ploy can only bring her this far. She knew she was going to die, the least she could do was spend the last moments of her life being someone she knew she always was, just as Mad-Eye believed she was, "Because you're cruel. Your idealism of a pure blooded society is sick. A muggleborn witch can be cleverer than any pure blood witch. A half blood wizard can be kinder than any pure blood can ever be. Pure blood doesn't make one superior over the other and you know that. You are not pure blooded and it sickens you,"

Pain burnt into her broken arm, searing her skin and melting her bones. Tonks gritted her teeth, refusing to cry out. It stopped and she realised tears were flowing down her face and she was lying flat on the floor.

"How dare she?! My lord, let me-" A man who still had his mask on stepped forward but Voldemort turned on him, eyes blood red and his hand shaking with fury.

"Avada Kedavra!" The man sank to the ground and remained still. The room was deathly quiet.

Bellatrix loomed over her. Tonks barely saw her feet before it stomped on her broken arm. She heard a sickening crunch before she felt the burning pain. She resolved not to scream but she did.

Bellatrix smirked as she leaned so close that Tonks could see her blackened teeth. It took all she had not to vomit all over the floor, "I could carve your face such that poor Andy would never recognise her own daughter," Tonks forced herself not to flinch as the cool blade ran down her cheek, "or I could cut off your fingers one by one and then your arm…" Tonks turned away as the blade run down her neck, "Let's start with your face," She felt the blade rest on her cheekbone and Bellatrix applied force, almost tantalizingly slow.

As the first hint of stinging pain was felt, once the blade broke skin, the door opened with a loud bang.

Severus Snape strutted into the room, glancing over Bellatrix, who was hunched over Tonks.

"Severus," Voldemort inclined his head in acknowledgement as Severus bowed, "What is it?"

"My Lord," Severus straightened out, looking stonily at Voldemort with unwavering eyes, "Do not kill Nymphadora, I beg you,"

Voldemort seemed amused rather than surprised, as Tonks was feeling. She had never seen Severus Snape plead, "You once pleaded with me this way and that is for a woman you foolishly loved," He paused, his eyes flickering to Tonks, "you have always done me a great service so I will hear what you have to say. Why should I spare her, Severus?"

Snape was rigid and tensed as he spoke, "My Lord, she is of more use to you alive than dead-"

"Lies!" Voldemort hissed, flicking his wand at Snape, who flew back, landing heavily on the marble floor. Tonks could see his nose bleeding as he got back up, "tell me truthfully, Severus."

"She- is important to me," Snape said and Bellatrix laughed, slashing Tonks in the face swiftly. She winced, feeling blood seep out of her wound, "and, she's carrying my child, My Lord. So I beg you," Bellatrix's eyes bugged.

Tonks paled.

Voldemort paused, evidently surprised but he was looking at Snape, who looked back stonily. It was a risk and Tonks knew it the moment the words were out of his mouth. Telling Voldemort could lead to her life being spared or instantly killed.

"On the service I have done you all these years, spare her, and the child," Snape spoke, confident and strong.

"Or it could be the child of the filthy werewolf," Voldemort hissed softly, "you are not certain and if it is the child of that creature, we will kill it, now," He raised his wand at her and Tonks placed her uninjured arm over her belly protectively.

Snape was expressionless as he regarded Voldemort. Without preamble, Snape dropped to his knees, "My Lord, I am certain for Nymphadora would never lie with Remus Lupin and what loss could we have, to keep her alive, to let the child be born," Voldemort looked down at Snape.

And he laughed.

"If that were true," Voldemort locked eyes with Snape once more, "you would have done me another excellent service for we will keep the child, and Nymphadora, here and I will teach the child personally when he becomes of age. I would make him the greatest wizard a new pure blooded wizarding world has ever seen,"

"My Lord," Bellatrix's eyes were wide with horror, "you can't possibly believe such lies-"

"Lies, Bellatrix?" Voldemort hissed, evidently enraged, "Severus has provided me with more truthful information all these years and more service than any of you have ever given me. And what more, what harm could an infant bring to us?" With that, Bellatrix was quiet, glaring at Snape, "take her, Severus but she shall reside in this mansion from this day on, till the child is born," Severus nodded his thanks.

Tonks froze, feeling every inch of her body object as she felt Snape lift her into his arms. She whimpered as her arm was jostled but clamped her mouth shut. She looked at his expressionless visage, thoroughly confused, as he carried out of the hall. Why has he helped her? Why should he?

"Why?" She whispered, her voice hoarse. She felt him begin to climb the stairs.

He looked down at her and before he could reply, she felt her world spin and darkness consumed her before her head lolled to the side.

* * *

**A/N: hope you enjoyed this chapter! A huge thanks for the reviewers of last chapter: guest, remusdora, Lupinesence, Hazel McKinley and pleione-x!**

**Please do drop me a review for this one :)**


	46. Chapter 46: Alive

Chapter 46: Alive

Remus felt his heart stop as he realised that no one else has returned but Harry and Hagrid. He turned to Molly who was tending to George's wound. She glanced up and caught his eye. She was deathly pale and with a slight shake of her head, Remus felt his knees almost fold beneath him but he steeled himself.

Instead, he gripped his wand tighter and grabbed the front of Harry's shirt, "what is the creature that sat in the corner when Harry Potter first stepped into my office?"

Harry was gaping at him, "What-"

"What creature?" Remus could hear his voice rising as he shook Harry.

"A grindylow!" Harry said, obviously shaken for he had never seen Remus act like that. Sighing, Remus nodded and let him go, looking down at his bloodstained hands.

"Sorry, I had to make sure you weren't an imposter," Remus turned to Molly, watching her try to heal George's ear, "We have been betrayed. Snape cursed George's ear off before I could-" Remus paused as Molly looked up, "I'm sorry Molly,"

Molly shook her head, clucking her tongue, "No, Remus, I'm thankful you brought him back, alive," She pulled Remus into a firm hug, "and you, any wounds?" Molly searched him visibly but Remus shook his head.

Suddenly, they heard a whoosh outside and Remus exchanged a look with Harry before dashing out the door. He was glad to see Sirius and Mundungus but he couldn't help it as his heart sank. Sirius' hair was windswept and Mundungus looked green in the face but both look unharmed.

"Stop," He raised an arm before Harry to stop him from rushing to Sirius.

Sirius, like Remus, had his wand raised. Remus opened his mouth to ask the question but Sirius beat him to it, "What was the colour of my underwear on the first day of school in our first year?" Sirius smirked.

Behind him, Remus could hear Harry chuckling, "You weren't wearing any and what is your problem, Padfoot?" Hagrid guffawed in the background.

Sirius shrugged, "I had to ask something only the two of us knows and trust me, even James didn't know this one," He winked at Remus before hugging Harry. Then he caught a glimpse of Remus' bloodied hands, "Mate," Sirius' mirth was gone as he frowned, "you alright?"

"I'm fine. Severus cursed George," Remus muttered. Sirius' eyes widened as he dashed into the house.

Remus closed his eyes briefly as he was left alone to his thoughts. His hands were trembling.

Then there was a small sound and Remus opened his eyes to see Kingsley and Hermione. Remus did the same security procedure with Kingsley. Then there was Arthur and Fred. With each appearance, Remus couldn't help but let his hope sink.

"Moony, mate," He heard Sirius mutter and placed a hand on his shoulder. Remus tensed, wanting to shrug off Sirius but refrained from doing so. His worry, he knew shouldn't be taken out on others so he remained quiet, "it'll be okay," Sirius said and Remus could hear the fear and shakiness in his voice; that unconvinced tone that told Remus, Sirius may have been trying to convince himself of that.

"She should've been the first to be back," Remus heard himself say, his tone cold and dead, "She's been ill for a while…and I should've never let her-" He stopped, burying his face in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Nymph will be fine, Remus. She's an auror, doesn't she always strut around boasting about it?" Sirius scoffed and Remus allowed a brief nod. There was a sound of the portkey followed by a flutter of wings and Remus looked up, guessing it and seeing it to be Bill and Fleur, both unharmed. Sirius did the security proceedings and Bill proceeded inside to check on George.

All the while, Hermione, Harry, Sirius and Remus stood outside, watching the night for any movement.

_Dora. I promised I'll be careful. I am. I'm here. You promised too. Where are you? _

A form appeared in midair before falling to the floor, skidding to a stop. Remus froze as Ron scrambled off the floor. Hermione and Harry's relief could be heard as they rushed forward to Ron but Ron approached Remus. He had a slight limp in his leg and he was breathing heavily.

Ron was back to looking like himself. The side of his head was bleeding from a gash, his face was drenched in sweat and he was pale. His eyes were wide with hysteria. He clutched Remus by his arm, "I'm sorry, Remus!" Ron said thickly, tears running down his face, "I'm sorry," Ron looked down, pleading with Remus and crying. Remus could only stare.

"Ron?" Sirius grabbed his arm, "Where's Tonks? Ron!" Sirius yanked Ron off Remus, shaking him.

"I don't know…she created a portkey. I didn't know it was a portkey or I would never have left without her-" Ron choked out before he sank to the floor, shaking like a leaf.

"Left her? Where?" Sirius himself was slowly slipping into hysteria as he began shouting at the boy, who was evidently in shock. Arthur and Molly rushed out of the house. Remus watched stonily as Arthur shouted at Sirius and yanked Sirius off his son. Molly healed his head quickly, trying to calm him down.

Ron was looking around blearily, sobbing uncontrollably till he saw Remus, "Professor Lupin, I'm- I'm so sorry! I would have never-"

"Ronald!" Hermione grabbed his face, shaking him, "Calm down and tell us what happened to Tonks!"

He seemed to stop sobbing just enough to collect himself to look Hermione dead in the eye, "I saw him. You-know-who. He's there! Bellatrix was with us the whole way and Tonks killed some of them…" He paused, staring into space.

Everyone fell silent and Remus marched up to them, shoving Sirius and Arthur out of the way before he grabbed the front of Ron's shirt, practically lifting him to his feet, "Where is she?"

"We had to land because Tonks' arm was broken and she couldn't pull me up. Then they fought and Tonks just told me to grab the broom…I didn't know it was a portkey, Remus I swear I didn't,"

Remus' look made Ron flinched, "I said, where is she?" His voice was soft but held a venom no one had ever heard in Remus' voice.

"I don't know, it was the middle of nowhere-" Ron stammered. Remus dropped him and Ron fell in surprise. Without another word to anyone, Remus swiftly marched to the apparition point.

"Remus, wait!" Sirius grabbed his arm. Remus growled, yanking his arm from Sirius but he had a firm grip, "what are you going to do huh?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm going to find her," Remus muttered before shrugging off his hold viciously; this time succeeding to but Sirius grabbed him again.

"Did you really think Voldemort would linger if he had her?" Sirius snapped and Remus froze.

Sirius seemed to relax, before rage filled Remus and he shrugged him off again, "I'd still go out to look for her," He muttered. But before he could turn to leave, Sirius grabbed his shoulder and when Remus turned, he felt Sirius' fist collide with his cheekbone.

Caught by surprise, Remus reeled and collapsed. The order members, who saw, gasped.

"You'll not help her by risking yourself!" Sirius snapped before turning around and marching into the Burrow. When Molly made to help Remus up, Sirius turned and shouted, "leave him there, Molly! He has to think it over by himself,"

Doubtful but trusting Sirius' instinct as Remus' best friend, one by one, they entered the burrow.

"We'll try to find her, Remus. But first, we have to regroup," Kingsley told him before entering the burrow. Remus didn't respond, staring into space as he sat in the mud.

He looked down at his hands, bloodied and empty.

_So do I. I promise. _

When he closed his eyes, Remus could still feel her cold hand cupping his cheek, her body pressed up against his in a hug, her forehead against his lips. He could still see her determined expression as she prepared to leave, her smile when they took off into the sky. As he watched her tell Ron to hold onto her, he whispered words of love which he doubted she heard.

He looked up as the door of the burrow burst open abruptly. Sirius, Kingsley and Bill were walking out of the burrow, wands in hand.

"Where are you going?" His voice sounded croaky and Remus hated how it trembled.

"We'll look for her," Sirius replied.

Remus nodded, plucking himself from the mud and for a moment he toyed with the idea of joining them but then, other matter appeared at the forefront of his mind. A gut feel, "Alright. I'll drop by the Tonkses' to make sure they're okay,"

Sirius looked mildly surprised before he nodded, patting Remus' shoulder, "If she's there, I'll find her, trust me,"

Remus locked eyes with his friend, "I do trust you, as do Dora,"

Sirius shot Remus his signature quick and confident smirk before turning to apparate away with Kingsley and Bill. With a deep breath, Remus resolved where he wanted to go in his mind and apparated without a backward glance at the Burrow.

The Tonkses' household was quiet, eerily so.

Remus raised his wand in front of him, eyes peeled for anything and ears perked. It was one of the benefits of being a werewolf, if there were anything out there, he would hear it.

As he came up to the front door, he stopped and listened. There were footsteps inside, as if someone was pacing. He raised a hand and knocked, his wand still raised.

He heard two set of footsteps now and readied himself. The door opened a crack and he saw a wand before he saw Ted Tonks' face, "I'm Remus John Lupin, Dora's husband. I came by your house twice. On the second trip, you entrusted me with your daughter and gave us your blessing,"

Ted relaxed slightly, side stepping to allow Remus in, "Remus," He nodded, "How is everyone?" He looked uncharacteristically serious in his eyes and he was frowning, "where's Dora? Why didn't she come with you?"

Remus swallowed a lump in his throat as Andromeda, too, came into view, "Dora-" He paused, looking at Andromeda and then back at Ted, "she's missing. She managed to send Ron back but didn't make it back. Sirius is already looking for her,"

Ted paled and Andromeda looked faint.

"I dropped by to make sure everything's okay here," Remus finished as he looked at both Andromeda and Ted. _Dora has lost enough._

Then Andromeda seemed to snap out of it as she nodded stiffly. Then she took a few steps to him and Remus was shocked as she tugged him into a hug, "I'm glad you're alright,"

Ted nodded in agreement behind her, "take a seat, Remus," He gestured to the sofa and Remus obliged when Andromeda let him go to make him some tea.

Remus looked painfully at the photos of Dora as a toddler that were put up on the wall. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Remus jumped, his wand already raised. He stood but Ted was already making his way to the door.

As Ted reached to open the door, Remus opened his mouth to tell his father-in-law to let him do it. Before he could, the door was thrown off its hinges inwards, onto Ted Tonks.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green filled the room.

Bellatrix Lestrange strutted through the door, flipping back her frizzy hair with an aristocratic air of arrogance about her that was always hinted in Andromeda and Tonks but never flaunted like that. She was smirking as she looked down at the limp body of Ted Tonks.

"Ted, what is going on-" Andromeda appeared in the kitchen doorway and Remus unfroze, throwing spells across the room at Bellatrix and two men behind her. All the while, he sprinted across the room, ducking curses and a jet of green light skimmed his shoulder as he stumbled.

He grabbed Andromeda by her arm and yanked her behind the counter just before the place she once stood exploded.

"Ted?" Andromeda turned to him, her brown eyes wide with a fear Remus had felt a moment ago, but not quite as keenly.

Remus averted her eyes, his teeth clenched as he threw curses and hexes from over the counter. Andromeda's eyes were welling up with tears but Remus saw her draw her wand from the corner of his eye. She gripped Remus' arm and he paused to look at her. In her eyes burnt a furious determination that Remus saw many times in Dora's eyes.

Andromeda nodded to Remus and he nod once in acknowledgement.

They sprang up from where they were, separating.

Andromeda might have been a housewife since the first war and she had stayed out of it mostly for the sake of Nymphadora but from what Remus glimpsed, she held her own.

"Bella," Andromeda snarled curtly, her curse missing Bellatrix as she ducked to the side; the stray curse smashing the clock.

"Andy," Bellatrix taunted, her wand held loosely, "finally coming out to play?"

Andromeda was pointedly avoiding the sight of Ted's limp body as she replied through clenched teeth, "You came to me," With that, a flurry of spells was exchanged. When a jet of green cut through Andromeda's rapid curses, she barely managed to avoid it, letting it hit the counter behind her.

"Soon, your daughter will be as dead as your mudblood husband," Bellatrix sang. Andromeda screamed in rage and pain. Remus felt worry well up for his mother-in-law. He snarled in pain as a curse nicked his free hand, drawing blood. It snapped him out of his reverie and he ducked down, striking one of the masked death eaters on the legs where he heard a resounding crunch and a scream.

The masked death eater before him was no match for him and Remus knew it. He was too slow and had obviously less experience than he needed to win this duel. Remus made quick work of him, glimpsing Andromeda struggling with the grief and her sister's ruthless killing curse.

Remus struck the death eater square in the chest and he fell back, still. Just then, a blood curling scream filled the room and Remus turned to see Andromeda, a heap on the floor, clutching her middle. Bellatrix was standing over her, a grin on her face, frozen in a cackle.

Remus intercepted the cruciatus curse, catching Bellatrix on the arm in a deep gash. It very near took her arm off, if she hadn't noticed him and parried his curse away at the very last minute. Bellatrix cackled as she saw him, "I told that wench I would kill her half-breed husband. And now I can. Along with her blood traitor mother and her mudblood father,"

"They're your blood," Remus said, his voice dropped as he realised how lost Bellatrix truly was. It was in her eyes. She was blood crazed, eager to kill and mad.

Bellatrix threw her head back and cackled, her body shaking with laughter, almost convulsing, "my blood?" She spat on the floor, missing Andromeda's trembling body by an inch, "Andy ceased to be part of the family when she married a mudblood,"

"Andromeda only did what you can only dream to do,"

Bellatrix's eyes widened and they filled with mad fury. Remus ducked, letting loose a barrage of accurate stunners, cringing as the killing curse hit the photo frame behind him, raining broken shards of glass all around him, "How dare you!" Bellatrix screamed, her voice almost a screech as she fired the cruciatus curses so fast, Remus had no choice but to duck down and keep moving.

He dove behind the couch, glimpsing the front of it explode as the cruciatus curse hit it.

Remus glanced out to see that Andromeda was no longer on the floor but already having cover; just as he had hoped by buying time.

He grunted and casted a shield charm against shards of glass that exploded towards him as the Tonkses' glass display cupboard exploded.

Gritting his teeth, he dove out, firing quick curses in succession. From the kitchen, he saw Andromeda taking his cue and too going on the offense. Bellatrix had a smirk on her face as she parried Andromeda's curse back to her while casting a shield charm to be protected from Remus'.

Remus allowed a small satisfaction as his spell singed her cheek but she barely flinched. He turned, casting a quick patronus and watching his non-corporeal patronus disappear through the wall.

"Remus!" Andromeda screamed. His body burnt in pain; a pain comparable to his worst transformation. He felt himself hitting the floor but didn't hear himself scream because he didn't.

A tear escaped his eye. _So this is how Dora felt… _

Pain drew her out of the darkness she seemed trapped in.

"Ow!" She cried out in her semi-conscious state. Someone was touching her arm, that was the second thing she registered.

Her eyes opened and she saw a blurry vision of Snape standing over her. His face was set in the same expressionless look, his eyes seemed carved out of stone and his lips set into a permanent frown.

"I said ow!" She snapped as he lifted her arm by her wrist.

His stony eyes turned to look at her face rather than her arm, "I know," He replied flatly, "Drink," Snape thrust out a vial, already uncorked and tipped with the liquid at the tip precariously. She propped herself up on the elbow of her uninjured arm and threw her head back. Through her state of deliria, she suddenly remembered. Snape killed Dumbledore. He betrayed the Order.

With all that happened, she actually forgot and experienced a throwback to the days before Dumbledore was killed; where she was stuck in Spinner's End, being constantly nursed back to health by Snape only to have her beloved Aunt put her back into bed less than gently.

She jerked her head upright and choked on the liquid.

Snape didn't seem surprised as he merely withdrew the empty vial and watched her cough and splutter, seemingly trying to spit out the liquid, "if I was trying to poison you, a drop on your lips would've had you cold and dead instantly," His baritone voice was anything but assuring.

Tonks glared at him, "why did you save me?" He ignored her, prodding her arm and Tonks drew back, hissing in reflex. She realised, on hindsight, it didn't hurt. In fact, she could barely feel her body. She fell back on the bed as her arm gave out behind her, her glare unwavering as he turned and hunched over the table beside her bed. When he turned back to her, he had his wand in his hand and he made to tap her injured arm with it and her objections fell on deaf ears and a numbed body.

Through the dull numbness of her body, she couldn't help but admit grudgingly that when his wand tapped her arm, relief surged through the muscles in her arm, loosening them. She watched him work quietly but observing him cautiously; not that she could do anything if he decided to kill her.

"Your bones are completely shattered," Snape told her and Tonks rolled her eyes at his tact and subtlety. He tapped her arm again, cutting through the sleeve of her clothes and pulling the cloth off, baring her arm. She frowned at Snape. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out this man. He killed Dumbledore without batting an eyelid. In that hall, he begged for her life and now, he was patching her up.

A hard cast formed around her arm before Snape turned away again. She heard the clinking of bottles.

"You'll drink these thrice a day," He instructed, levitating the bottles to the table on the left side of her bed; since her left arm was the one which was fine. She gagged inwardly as she glimpsed the telling bottle of Skle-grow. Snape made to pack all the potions before he paused and stood beside her once more.

Tonks watched frantically as his wand hovered over her belly, "Don't!" She pleaded, doing her best to sit up and only managed to incline her head. Snape locked eyes with her and in that moment, Tonks took the leap of faith, laying back down and staring at the ceiling, praying she made the right choice.

He muttered a few spells and she felt nothing.

"You placed some protection around the…foetus," It wasn't a question but the hesitant way the word escaped his mouth made Tonks snicker inwardly.

She nodded stiffly, "I had to," Tonks recalled, guilty, escaping Remus for a moment to go to the kitchen to cast the protection spell as well as collect the chocolate that would be her excuse for her absence.

"It was prudent," Snape said and Tonks rolled her eyes; that was probably the nicest sounding thing he said to her in all the years she knew him, as a student till this day.

Tonks' brows knitted as she studied Snape's face, "Is the baby okay?"

He seemed to ponder for a moment, waving his wand before he nodded, "fine," He replied curtly. With a wave of his wand, another bottle levitated to join the other three beside her on the table, "drink this every morning and night,"

"Is that for the baby?" She asked, curiously watching the opaque white bottle.

He nodded, a quick jerky movement.

Tonks studied him as he vanish the vials of potion into a bag, "Thank you," Snape seemed to linger for a while, something he was not known to do, "What is it?"

He hesitated, "Leaving too soon will cause suspicion," Snape's deadpanned tone made her feel stupid for asking.

Tonks nodded, "why did you save me?"

He locked eyes with her before looking away and ignoring her question again, "You'll stay here as the Dark Lord bid you to,"

Tonks frowned, she glanced at the door, a hand on her belly, "I'll not have the baby here," Her voice spelt no room for debate. She was surprised when he nodded in agreement, albeit a little stiffly.

"We'll see what can be done," He said, his tone low.

"So what have you been up to? Apart from stabbing everyone in the Order right in the back this evening," Her tone dripped with venom and Tonks almost regretted saying that once the words were out of her mouth but Snape dropped eye contact.

"I'll be at Hogwarts," He replied, "But I'll come back here," _to keep up the act. _Snape sat down on the edge of her bed and she shifted rigidly, "Don't do anything stupid," His hand covered hers on her belly and she froze.

She opened her mouth but then there was a knock on the door. Peter Pettigrew peered in with watery eyes.

"What is it, Wormtail?" Snape snarled, not sparing him even a glance. Peter's eyes widened as he saw Snape leaned closer to her, his hand on hers, his eyes fixed on her.

"The Dark Lord has departed and ordered me to make sure Miss Tonks' needs are met," Peter squeaked. He was wearing shabby robes, he had a bald patch and he was sweating badly. Tonks glimpsed the silvery hand he had and turned away in disgust.

Snape snorted, "Don't you dare come near her," He stood, standing in front of Peter, blocking Tonks from view. Snape's was taller and broader around the shoulders than Peter was, thus effectively towering over him.

"T-the Dark Lord said-" Peter made to protest. His lower lip was trembling.

"Her needs will be met by me and me only," Snape cut him off, "if you come near her, or even touch her…" He let his voice trail away as he stared down his nose at Peter. With a squeak of acknowledgement, he made to retreat out of the room when Snape spoke again, "where is Bellatrix?"

Peter's eyes widened, "s-she l-l-left,"

Snape nodded curtly and shut the door in Peter's face. When he turned back around, he was frowning and seemed to be in thought before coming to a decision.

"What is it?" Tonks furrowed her brows.

He looked up, as if remembering she was in the room as well, "Nothing," He replied curtly, "you should sleep,"

Tonks watched him suspiciously for a moment before giving it up. She could be very stubborn when she had to be but Snape was the worst, "and you?" She was disgusted to feel fear creeping into her chest for Snape might be leaving and in this state, she was no match for anyone in the Malfoy Manor if they should come.

Snape waved his wand and the bedside table on the right was shifted away. Then he proceeded to charm the single bed into a larger than usual double bed. He gave her a meaningful look and then glanced at the door and she knew, they were being watched. He sat on the edge of the mattress with his back to her for a long time.

_Remus must be worried sick…_ She thought as she settled down to sleep. Then she felt something being pressed into the hand of her uninjured arm. She looked to see her wand in her hand. She nodded her thanks, feeling its magic, warming and filling her with relief.

Tonks heard a flutter of fabric with the wind and glimpsed Snape removing his cloak.

"Who is she?" Tonks spoke, curious, her voice low, "The woman you loved,"

Snape froze in his movement to place his cloak on the hook on the door. He eventually did and Tonks felt the mattress shift as he sat and lay down, "She's dead," He said, emotionless as usual but Tonks could hear the cracks.

Tonks would say sorry but she knew it wouldn't mean a thing; it wouldn't make up for the death of someone you love that much. So she took a shaky breath and kept quiet, her tired mind and body slipping into slumber.

Tonks wasn't sure but she could've sworn she heard him whisper his thanks; for her silence.

* * *

**A/N: Huge thanks to the amazing reviewers of last chapter; AliciaMarieL, Lupinesence, agentloki33, guest, remusdora and JKStorm501! You guys are the reason this chapter is already out, quicker than I would expect.**

**Do leave me a review for this one!**


	47. Chapter 47: sorry

Chapter 47: Sorry

Remus glanced up to see Andromeda sobbing into Sirius' shoulder, as she had been for an hour now. Sirius was muttering assurances to her, rubbing her back comfortingly. As he caught Remus' worried looks, Sirius nodded.

The Order had responded to Remus' patronus almost instantly. Arthur, Bill, Kingsley, and Sirius had apparated to the front of the house, all firing well aimed stunners at Bellatrix as they burst into the house. In her concentration on the cruciatus curse on Remus, she was struck. They made a good effort to apprehend her but she disapparated away before Kingsley could reinforce the anti-apparition wards that she brought down on her arrival.

Bill and Arthur had helped Remus to the couch while Sirius comforted Andromeda, who sank to her knees beside her unmoving husband. Remus was mildly aware of Kingsley securing the area. Remus had a cup of hot tea shoved into his hands as he sat and stared.

He had failed Dora. He let Ted be killed before his eyes and he only watched.

"Not your fault, Moony," Sirius noticed his furrowed brows and didn't hesitate to speak up.

Remus looked down at the tea in his hands, "Did you find anything?" He was almost afraid to hear the fact, despite their turning up so quickly and empty handed telling to their find, or lack thereof.

"No," Kingsley replied, stepping back into the house from the kitchen, "The place is scouring with death eaters, probably looking for any stray Order Members or…" His voice trailed away and Remus knew what he wanted to say but didn't, for Remus' sake.

"Picking up the pieces," Arthur offered. It was common in the first war that they had to resort to stealing off the dead, for wands and such but Remus didn't want to think that there was any dead bodies to steal from, apart from the death eaters.

"How's Ron?" Remus spoke, swallowing the lump in his throat at the mention of the youngest Weasley boy, a stark reminder of Dora.

Arthur clasped his shoulder, "He's shaken and has some minor wounds but he's fine," Arthur glanced at Andromeda, "He owe his life to Tonks, and our family is forever grateful," Remus stiffened and nodded, accepting his gratitude with little or no comfort at all. Andromeda hardly acknowledged him, the only signs that she heard him was that her sobs intensify.

"Don't mention it, Arthur," Remus croaked out to dispel the awkward atmosphere that had Arthur shifting uncomfortably.

"My Nymphadora," Andromeda sobbed, shaking.

"Hush, Andy," Sirius whispered, "Nymphie is strong, she'll be fine and we didn't see a body so she's alive, just captured," He patted her back, "we'll get her back, I promise," Bill and Kingsley straightened, nodding. Sirius looked up and locked eyes with Remus, "we will get her back,"

Tonks sighed, wincing as she testily shifted to get up. Her arm hurt at every little movement; making Snape's warning to stay in bed with minimal movement very prudent. But she couldn't stand another moment longer in bed. She placed her wand by the bedside table, throwing aside the covers with her uninjured arm.

Gingerly, she propped herself up and moved her legs off the bed. She hissed in pain, gritting her teeth, as she jostled her right arm but at least she was on her feet. Tonks scooped her wand into her left hand, comforted by the feel of its magic pulsing through her.

She looked down at her wand. It melded into her hand, falling snugly between her fingers. In times of danger, her wand always had a comforting feel to it, the connection between the witch and her wand strongly felt; something she tended to neglect and take for granted when she felt safe.

She felt the tips of her lips curl up into a smile as she grasped her wand firmly.

Tonks shuffled slowly to the window, sitting on the low and wide window ledge. It was cloudy and grey outside. From her seat, she could glimpse the main gate of the manor, as well as the path leading down to the front door of the house. The thought of the advantage it gave her bloomed into her chest, since she has had the importance of having her sights on the exit drilled into her head at training.

She tried to loosen a crick in her neck as she leaned back on the wall. The fatigue she felt was overwhelming and an annoyance to her; a disadvantage in such a dangerous place. Tonks tensed as she felt a flutter in her belly, making her sit upright. She gasped as her arm was jostled but then another flutter interrupted her wince.

She placed her wand in front of her, on the ledge, as she palmed her belly. There was bump. She marveled at the feel of it, sure it didn't belong there for most of her life. She had worked her abdomen flat and muscled from all the sit ups and crunches Mad-Eye had her do in Auror training.

Another flutter.

Hey there," Tonks' voice was soft, barely above a whisper. The fluttering stopped, "are you okay, little one?" She brushed her belly using the pads of her thumb, "I'll make sure you're nice and warm," She picked up her wand and summoned the extra covers. Gently, she lay it out over her abdomen and legs, "There, is that better?" There was no more fluttering. "

Upon a moment's thought, Tonks rolled her eyes at herself, "Your old mum must be silly from sleeping too much," She pushed the covers away from the swell of her belly, "It's summer and I bet you're already nice and warm in there and you probably just want some attention, don't you?" Tonks tilted her head as she tried to feel for anything. A thought came to her and she picked up her wand, waving it over her belly to reinforce the protection charms she had placed on it.

Frowning, she realised it was already reinforced but she did so anyway. It was ridiculous, she knew but the protection charm will protect the foetus more than it was already protected by nature. The charm already proved itself useful when she fell from the broom and the foetus was fine.

She felt a tingling sensation around her middle as the charms are set up and a stronger flutter this time, "It's okay, honey. Mum's just doing all she can to make sure you're extra safe," She assured the bump of her belly. Suddenly, she felt stupid. She must be lonely if she was having a conversation with an unborn foetus. Yes she was lonely and vulnerable. She would be weaker than a mewling kitten if she got attacked.

Tonks sniffed, appalled to feel tears on her cheeks. She scrubbed them away roughly, "No, I am an Auror. I am _not_ helpless," She hissed. Another flutter, "no, Mum's not scolding you, honey. Mum's angry at herself," She paused, closing her eyes in resignation of the feeling of being very foolish. Tonks had never been a big believer of pregnant women and their mood swings but she was starting to believe it. She reached for the covers with her left hand, bringing it up to bury her face in, "Oh Remus…"

Sirius' steps were quiet as he walked down the stairs. Remus looked up and nodded to acknowledge his friend. Bill, Kingsley and Arthur have left to go back to their respective homes. Kingsley reinforced the wards and told them not to hesitate to call him if anything shall arise. Then he went on to bring away Ted's body to St Mungo with Arthur.

Andromeda had cried herself to sleep on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius had carried her up to bed himself. She couldn't even spare a glance at Ted's unmoving body without looking faint.

"Moony…" Sirius touched his shoulder and Remus tensed.

"Padfoot," Remus replied, pointedly refusing to look at him.

Sirius sighed, "Look at this," He reached for Remus' wrist. Remus glanced at it to see it cut up and bleeding, probably injured from the shards of glass; Remus couldn't remember, "and this," Remus glanced to see Sirius pointing at his face, where more cuts probably were.

"I'm fine," Remus muttered, snatching his hand back and wringing his fingers.

Sirius sat down beside him, rolling his eyes as he shoved the medical kit at Remus, "Put medication on, Moony," He patted his shoulder, "normally, you're the one nagging at James and I to do it, or you'll just sit on us while you do it. Admittedly, that's not my specialty, so why don't you do it yourself?"

"Sirius," Remus said, his tone low and dangerous, more hostile than he intended, "I said I'm fine,"

Sirius sighed heavily again, "I know you want to be left alone but trust me, you and your thoughts alone together is never a good thing," He planted his ankle on the knee of the other leg purposefully, "So you'll just have to bear my company, or enjoy it. Your call, mate,"

Remus grumbled under his breath as he straightened up in his seat and opened the medical kit. Beside him, Sirius whistled in triumph and Remus spared him a withering glance; that gave him pause. Sirius' trimmed hair, neat this morning, was tousled. His eyes had dark circles under it. His skin was sallow, his cheek thin.

"What?" Sirius frowned at his stare.

"You look-"

"Handsome? Absolutely breath taking? Gorgeous?" Sirius offered. Remus snorted, shaking his head.

"Like hell, I meant to say,"

Sirius pondered it, "not the usual compliment I get. I think you meant devilishly handsome but thanks,"

Remus couldn't swallow the chuckle that bubbled.

Sirius smiled, an uncharacteristic smile that didn't have the glint in his eyes or the haughty air about him. It was a somber one, for Remus' sake, "heal that," He feigned a disgusted look and Remus reached to his cheek. He winced, feeling a cut sting, "your neck too, Moony,"

Remus nodded, pulling out his wand and muttering spells on the cuts on his hand first. It didn't fully seal and Remus grimaced. His healing abilities have always been better than Sirius' but not the best it could've been. Resigned that it was the best he can do, Remus dabbed medicine on it.

"Sirius," He started as a thought came to him. He heard a mumbled sound beside him and plowed on, "Do you think Snape would know anything?"

Silence.

Sirius took a breath, "Yes, Snivellus would know something," He sat up, beside Remus, "but he wouldn't tell us anything, Moony. He killed Dumbledore for Merlin's sake,"

Remus nodded mutely.

"He'll kill you when he sees you, or me," Sirius rolled her eyes.

Remus looked down, nodding.

"We'll get her back, by ourselves,"

"We don't know where she is," Remus muttered, "or if she's-"

Sirius pursed his lips underneath his moustache, "she's not, mate. I know it and you know it too, you're just too pessimistic to admit it,"

For once in his life, Remus wished Sirius was right.

Tonks glimpsed someone walking swiftly down the path at the front of the house and sat up straighter. She tensed when she found out it was her deranged Aunt. In her hand, she held her wand loosely. For some reason, Tonks noticed she was walking faster and she had an irate look about her.

She tightened her grip on her wand as Bellatrix vanished from her sight.

As she feared, there were sounds of someone walking, or rather running, up the stairs before the door of her room burst open to reveal Bellatrix. She was clad in her corset dress, as usual. Her wand was held outstretched in front of her. Tonks held her wand up, leaving her perch on the window ledge as she regarded Bellatrix cautiously.

To her confusion, Bellatrix's irate expression suddenly vanished to be replaced with her mad cackling.

Tonks frowned but allowed some glee as she glimpsed a deep gash on her arm that was still bleeding.

"I killed your mudblood father,"

Tonks' blood ran cold. _No… No, mum wouldn't allow it. Remus would never allow it and the order-_ But Bellatrix's eyes were flashing in that sick exhilarated glint, as if she had won.

"Believe it, half-blooded abomination that you are," Bellatrix sang. Tonks stared. Everything she saw in Bellatrix screamed that she was telling the truth. _But maybe he's not dead… _She was grasping at the straws and she knew it, "If it wasn't for your filthy half breed husband, I would've gotten your blood traitor mother easy enough. She's so busy breeding she has forgotten how to put up a fight,"

Tonks' eyes flinted down to her gash.

Bellatrix's eyes followed her glance and she sneered, "Yes, I owe your filthy half breed husband," She brought up a hand and scrubbed away the blood from the gash ruthlessly, "He put up a good fight but it wasn't long before he too-"

Tonks couldn't bear to hear it. A dark blue jet streamed from her wand. Bellatrix snarled, parrying it away in annoyance.

"How dare you?" Bellatrix's scream was deafening but its effects were lost on Tonks. Bellatrix raised her wand and Tonks felt a strong flutter in her belly, it felt almost frantic. Tonks seemed to be snapped out of grief and shock as she scrambled down, onto her knees. A jet of black skimmed her head and exploded behind her, the impact sent her forward on the ground.

Tonks bit back a scream as her injured arm was jostled and sandwiched. She hit the floor with her jaw, hard. Then it occurred to her. _I can't give up. My baby's depending on me. My baby…The life I made with Remus…and Remus…  
_

She made to get to her feet but before she could, Tonks felt a hand clutch a clump of her hair, yanking her head back. She winced, her head snapped back to look up at the deranged face of Bellatrix. She was smirking when she saw Tonks' wince.

With an angry growl, Tonks sent a quick stunner back. It caught Bellatrix by surprise while she was busy gloating. The stunner hit her in the rib, making her release Tonks and stumble back. Tonks put some distance between them with lithe step that were in built in her. She didn't hesitate to follow up with quick and well aimed stunners and jinxes. Bellatrix snarled and parried them away.

Her offensive spells were fast, accurate and deadly. Tonks cursed as she struggled to parry them away, use shield charms or just duck them. As much as she hated to admit it, Bellatrix had an edge over her in terms of dueling skills and the dark lord's protection over her had been the only reason she's still alive

Tonks cried out when her klutzy nature caused her injured arm to nick the open door and she fell. Her wand was taken despite her firm and insistent grip on it. Bellatrix grabbed her by her hair and all but dragged her out of the room and down the stairs. She gritted her teeth, struggling all the while but Bellatrix seemed to have an unyielding grip on Tonks' hair.

She threw Tonks against the floor and Tonks felt a full body bind wound its way over her body. Tonks could barely blink, much less resist when Bellatrix sauntered closer, cackling, "the dark lord might believe Snape fully but I don't," she lunged forward abruptly, "do think I'm a fool?" Tonks couldn't even gasp when Bellatrix backhanded her across the cheek.

With a wave of her wand, Tonks felt the bind on her face let up enough for her to speak, "I take you for a loyal servant to the Dark Lord,"

Something flickered in Bellatrix's eyes, just as Tonks'd hoped. Bellatrix's black eyes glanced up towards the front door nervously, "when I find out this abomination you carry is not of Snape's, the Dark Lord will be grateful for my service," she countered eagerly.

Tonks snorted inwardly, "but before you find out, he'll punish you for touching me,"

Bellatrix looked down her nose at Tonks, "crucio,"

Everything in her body burnt and she cried, not for the torture she felt, but for her baby. She screamed, not incoherently but, pleadings for her baby which surprised Bellatrix enough to make her stop and cackle, "itty Nymphie is begging me," she sang and her voice echoed up the hall.

Tonks sobbed. She felt pain but it held nothing against the fear she felt, like nothing she had ever experienced. She wanted to curl up and protect her baby. She wanted to run.

She felt the wind stir as Bellatrix crouched beside her and waved her wand over her belly. Tonks tensed and struggled but she couldn't move an inch, "you casted protection charms on this brat," the glint in Bellatrix's eyes made Tonks want to throw up, "and you're thorough," she waved her wand and Tonks could feel the telling tingling leave her as the protection was removed, layer by layer.

"No, please, " her voice dying in her throat as she felt the last of the wards is removed.

Bellatrix ignored her pleas, her cackling reaching a screeching pitch.

"Please!" Tonks screamed when she felt her aunt run the sharp tip of her knife down her stomach and to the swell of her belly.

"Bella," Snape drawled.

Bellatrix looked up sharply and Tonks felt her body sag against the floor, relieved but the fear kept her from passing out altogether. Both of them have not heard him enter. Bellatrix hissed, "Snape,"

"What are you doing?" He demanded in a dead panned tone but his pale face and lips, pulled thinner than usual, showed his fury. Although Tonks has had Snape be angry towards her as a student but never like this.

"I'm teaching my niece," Bellatrix screeched and without warning she threw her knife at him. Tonks barely saw him whip out his wand but it was already in his hand, the thrown knife skidding across the floor away from them. He marched forward, sudden and fast.

Bellatrix snarled and retreated, her wand drawn and raised against Snape. He glared at her as he crouched down beside Tonks. His eyes cold and fixed rigidly forward, Snape barely looked her in the eye as he placed a stiff hand on the swell of her belly in an almost concerned gesture.

In the background, they could hear Bellatrix gagging before she sneered at them, "I don't know why you're helping this wench, Snape. But this act is not fooling me. I will find out the truth and when I do, I'll carve that abomination out of her belly and kill her slowly,"

He released her of her body bind and he picked up her, his body felt too rigid to be comfortable. Tonks felt too cold and in shock to speak or resist. Instead, she found herself burrowing closer to him and away from her aunt, who was looking wide eyed and deranged. Snape regarded Bellatrix with cold opal eyes, "you're welcome to try," his baritone voice was flat, "but surely you do not need me to remind you of the Dark Lord's wishes for Nymphadora till the baby is born. He would be most displeased to find out you defied him,"

Bellatrix's nostrils flared, "till the baby is born, or till I uncover your lie,"

Snape walked pass her calmly, sparing a glance down at Tonks' white visage, half of it buried in his shoulder. She whimpered as he bumped her arm constantly while he walked up the stairs but he didn't stop and she knew he couldn't.

He paused momentarily at the doorway, glancing at the broken lock of the door before marching straight in.

"You're shaking," Snape drawled and Tonks pursed her lips, turning away from him as she lay on the bed; her pride as an Auror stung. He looked at the cast containing her arm and made to reach for it but Tonks met his hand halfway, clutching his hand in hers firmly.

"The baby, please... S-she used the cruciatus curse and I c-can't feel him moving anymore," she hated the way she stuttered but he was right, her body was shaking and she could barely stop it, much less muster courage to steady her voice.

Snape nodded, waving his wand and she lifted her head to look as her belly lighted all the different colors. Then he opened his potion kit, laying out an impressive number of vials containing different colour of potions. He picked out one white one and unstoppered it, "drink," he snapped, pressing it to her lips.

She heeded him without question, exhausted and terrified. Warmth snaked its way down her throat and into her middle. Numbly, she touched the swell comfortingly, "we're okay, little one, we're okay," feeling a wave of nausea hit her all of a sudden, she lurched out of bed, leaning off the side and threw up magnificently.

"Ah... It does tend to do that," Snape drawled and she felt his hand on her back. If she felt uneasy with his uncharacteristic humor, Tonks failed to realize her uneasiness and groaned instead. He pushed her back into bed, less roughly than he normally handled her.

"Thanks for the heads up," she scrunched up her nose at the stench of her vomit as she sank back against the covers.

"You're welcome," he drawled and Tonks rolled her eyes.

"M-Our baby?" She glanced towards the closed door as she corrected herself hurriedly.

Snape nodded, "fine, after that potion. The protection charms worked. A little unsettled but fine now,"

She felt herself sigh in relief. Glancing to the side, she watched as Snape turned to keep his potion kit. Then she saw the bottom half of his robe and his shoes and noticed she had vomited all over him.

"I'm sorry," she croaked, hating the weakness in her voice, "sorry..." Her voice trailed off. He turned to see her lying on her side. Her eyes seemed to be looking at something faraway, welling up with tears.

Snape glanced down at his soiled robes and shoes, annoyance flickering across his eyes momentarily, "forget it," he replied dismissively and that was all the 'it's alright' she'll be getting from him but tears were now running down her face quietly.

"Sorry...I'm so sorry... Sorry..." She mumbled over and over. Snape watched her stonily before waving his wand to soothe her abused injured arm and reinforcing her cast. He even frowned at her never ending tears, siphoning her tears and snot more than once with his wand but she was oblivious, mumbling the same thing over and over.

It was at a point where her mumbling turned into a mundane drone of the room, it occurred to him that those apologies were no longer for him. He sat down in the chair beside her for a moment, vaguely entertaining the idea of silencing her with a flick of his wand but refrained from doing so eventually.

When she was quiet, he glanced to see that she was asleep, her face stained with tears. Snape stood, ridding her of the stains and siphoning lingering tears before he swept out of the room.

A while later, Severus Snape walked briskly back into the room. He stopped in front of Tonks, looking down at her sleeping form for a moment before he leant over to press her wand into her limp hand.

She mumbled another barely coherent sound of an apology to her late father, her brows furrowing before her fingers closed around her wand, bringing it closer to her chest. Her other hand clutched his wrist before he could sit back. Snuggling down into the covers, Snape yanked at his hand but it remained firmly in her death grip.

He glared at her before planting himself down into the chair in resignation.  
___  
_  
_**A/N: Hope you like it! Thanks to all the reviewers of last chapter; MoonDoll33, remusdora, Guest, AliciaMarieL, Lupinesence, Guest and JKStorm501! You guys are amazing and reviews attract lots and lots of plot bunnies! My ideas are coming in faster now and I'm making great progress on this story, even considering a sequel! So keep those reviews coming!**_

One more thing! I just put up a one shot that is once more Remus/Tonks centric but the difference being that it is all fluff! So if you need some fluff, go there immediately! Feel free to leave me a review on that too :) 


	48. Chapter 48: Departure

Chapter 48: Departure

From the moment when she woke up, Tonks spent her days in silence and lack of solitude only due to Snape's consistent presence around her; save for his short trips to Hogwarts.

She sat perched on the window ledge for days on end. Summer passed. Autumn followed. It had been three months and she was 5 months pregnant. And the father of the child didn't know it existed. Since the time she rose from sleep with her wand cradled against her chest and Snape's hand clutched, almost cruelly, in hers, she felt dead inside. She didn't eat, sleep or drink.

A flutter reminded her of her growling stomach. She ate.

Another flutter urged her to take a drink. She drank.

Soon, those flutters became nudges and then fully fletched kicks that sometimes sent her gasping but then her heart would skip a beat from sheer joy when she felt them.

She lived by the will of the little life in her belly and that little life depended on her.

She was whispering as she caressed her swollen belly. Then she heard the door click open. She tensed, her arm hugging her belly to her protectively while her free hand tightened around her wand.

Snape entered and closed the door behind him, food levitating behind him. He regarded her with cold calculating black eyes. Tonks met his eyes, calmly evaluating before she closed her eyes momentarily, looking away and lowering her wand.

He paused before approaching, "your potions?" Snape glanced to the table which had one white potion and one red one.

Tonks caressed her belly subconsciously as she inclined her head in affirmative. He nodded stiffly in approval before he waved his wand and the food levitated over to hover on her lap.

She glanced down before ignoring it and looking out the window.

"You have to get out soon," his voice was barely a whisper but Tonks was sure the door had an imperturbable charm and silencing charm to boot. She didn't turn to him but sensed his pause before he continued, "you'll not be spared after this child is born. And Lupin wouldn't survive the third full moon otherwise,"

Her heart skipped a beat and she felt a kick against her palm. Tonks turned to look at him.

"He's..." She spoke, her voice cracking from the lack of use, "is he okay?"

"Alive," Snape replied.

Tonks clenched her teeth to stop the trembling as she nodded her thanks, "how?"

The Dark Lord has taken to visit her once in a while, seemingly taking pleasure to unsettle the Malfoys while he did it. Bellatrix resided at the Lestrange mansion but was a frequent visitor. Since Snape saved her from Bellatrix's torture, she kept a respectable distance from Tonks but Tonks could feel her watchful eyes on them. Tonks had to refrain herself from launching at Bellatrix and ripping her to shreds for vengeance every time she saw Bellatrix. Snape always had a hand on her to remind her.

In short, an escape was nearly impossible with the Malfoys constantly around and Bellatrix practically living here.

Snape paused, "Lupin will come here and take you himself,"

* * *

There were delays.

Delays till after the third full moon. Snape had brought news that Remus was no longer capable of coming to get her so they'll have to manage without him. Tonks had worried herself sick yesterday night upon that news but Snape didn't know anymore to comfort her. Instead, he provided her more potions.

Tonks glanced at the dress in disdain but sighed and pulled off her shirt. Snape had managed to get her some loose shirts and pants to wear but on the Dark Lord's last visit, he had insisted Tonks be given some more appropriate clothes. She glanced down when she felt a kick. Pausing, she stared, gaping in marvel. On her belly, was an eerily accurate outline of a little foot.

Tonks brought a hesitant finger to trace the foot gently. She could feel her baby shifting, probably stretching. The foot withdrew from her skin when she caressed it gently for a while. She palmed her swollen belly for a moment, marveling as she felt movement, "are you awake now?" She prodded gently and chuckled when she felt a nudge back, mimicking her prod, "mum's just changing, sorry I woke you, little one," she whispered.

She then proceeded to put on the dress as gently as she could manage, struggling with the zipper. The door opened and she glanced back to see Snape entering. He stopped just behind her, standing close to her. She felt him begin to zip up her dress slowly as he leant closer, "change of plans, we'll use the floo tonight instead,"

She tilted her head slightly to better hear him.

"Stay close tonight," He instructed. She froze as he placed a hand on her shoulder. Tonks nodded rigidly and felt his hand slipped off his shoulder and then he summoned the bottles of potion and their glass. He poured them out for her and Tonks drank, watching him. Snape's black eyes flirted across the door and she nodded.

Her room had always been under close surveillance and even Snape couldn't do anything to prevent that. Despite Bellatrix's best efforts, Tonks and Snape played their part and they were under close scrutiny and suspicion but not proven liars yet. Tonight, there would be a gathering of death eaters at the Riddle mansion and everyone would be required to attend.

Yaxley and Pettigrew had been tasked to escort her and Snape to the mansion which, in Tonks' opinion, was a small escort thus once again proving the Dark Lord's trust in Snape. Although small and Pettigrew might be dimwitted, having been fooled by Tonks and Snape multiple times, Yaxley was sharp.

Tonks placed a hand on her belly as they made to leave. They opened the door to see Yaxley already there, sneering at the pair of them. Snape took her wand from her and stowed it into his coat before Yaxley could make to grab it. Tonks walked ahead, behind Peter, as Yaxley indicated. She could feel Snape's hand on her back as they walked down the stairs.

Behind her, Snape spoke to Yaxley, "the Dark Lord?"

"There already. Only left with you two, the guests of honours," Yaxley snorted, "Hurry up now."

As they reached the base of the stairs, Tonks glanced back at Snape. Yaxley was watching her with narrowed eyes. Behind him, she could see something moving in the shadows. All of a sudden, she was yanked to the side just as a big black dog dove from the shadows. The dog clamped its strong sharp jaw onto Yaxley's shoulder. The death eater yelled and flailed vigorously, clumsily drawing his wand but the dog shifted.

The sudden weight and size of his attacker sent Yaxley to the floor. Sirius Black growled, drawing back a fist and knocking Yaxley out cold, his jaw broken with a crunch as his fist collided with his face.

Peter squeaked, his wand held out in front of him but Sirius had his wand as well, "hello Peter," Sirius' voice was dripping with venom and Peter flinched at the mere sound of it but Tonks couldn't wipe the smile off her face. Snape rose behind Peter and Peter barely had time to squeak again before he dropped to the floor, out cold.

Sirius glared at Snape, "when will you learn not to interfere, Snivellus?" Sirius' dark eyes glanced about the empty mansion. It was the only day it was empty and their only chance. Narcissa never leaves the house.

Snape turned sharply towards the fireplace. Tonks gingerly rose from the ground, a hand on her belly. She looked down and patted her belly to assure the child whom she felt was still and thought it must be frozen with fear.

Sirius looked at her and stared, "Nymph..."

Tonks was so happy to see him she could've laughed right then and there but then Snape shoved the pot of powder at Sirius. He blinked and took a handful of powder, stepping towards the fireplace. Tonks stepped in with Sirius' help; he was still staring at her.

Before Sirius could say the words, Tonks looked at Snape, "come with us," she reached out a hand in invitation. Snape seemed as surprised as Tonks had ever seen, "with me gone, they'll kill you…and after all you did for me-" she paused, "for us," She corrected and his eyes flickered down to her pregnant belly. Eventually, he looked at her with those cold dark orbs. He reached out a hand to her outstretched one only to place her wand in her hand.

Snape then shook his head, stepping back just as Sirius threw the power at their feet, "Moody's house!"

She shut her eyes and clung onto Sirius. She could feel his arm around her waist, holding her as close as her belly would allow.

They came to an abrupt stop and Tonks stumbled, caught from falling out of the fireplace by Sirius. He straightened her out and after patting the soot out of his own robes, he helped her with hers so that she didn't smear them all over the floor. Tonks tore her gaze from her cousin and looked around the house. It looked the same.

Her eyes locked onto the mantelpiece above the fireplace and tears stung her eyes. Moody and his daughter, Lyra, were there, smiling at her. More importantly, beside that picture, there was a photo of Remus and Tonks at their wedding. Remus was wearing his spiffy black dress robe with his bow tie. He had his arms around his wife's waist. She watched with a fond smile as Remus leant down to kiss her chastely like the gentleman that he was. Tonks couldn't look away from the smile on his face and that sparkle of life in his blue eyes. A blushed formed on his cheek as he pulled away to gaze at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. She chuckled at her prudish husband.

He had confessed that he thought his dress robe shabby but to this day, she still thought it beautiful on him.

"Nymph?" Sirius' touch on her elbow startled her and she jumped, stepping back. Her elbow caught a vase which her mother had given her and it crashed to the ground loudly. She cringed, flinching away from the sound. The heel of her feet caught on the tip of the carpet and she felt herself reel. Tonks saw a hand made to grab her arm but she panicked. Tonks ducked it and steadied herself by the back of a couch, "Nymphie…"

Her chest was heaving from the fright and she took a deep breath as she looked up to see that it was only Sirius. His hand was frozen, outstretched in front of him and his brows knitted over his eyes.

"It's alright, Nymphie…I'm here," His voice dropped, his voice velvet and comforting as he stepped up before her, "it's just me, Sirius,"

Tonks slowed her breathing, nodding to herself as Sirius placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she placed a hand on her chest to calm herself.

Sirius guided her to the couch, repairing the vase poorly but he ignored it and sat down beside her, "do you want anything to drink?" He asked, shooting up to his feet again and walking to the kitchen, "I make tea that taste like piss but I can make hell of a coffee-"

"Sirius," Tonks spoke, her voice scratchy. There was a lump in her throat which she was trying to expel by repeating the mantra that she was home and safe and Bellatrix Lestrange wasn't going to jump through the fireplace, "I can't drink coffee, it's bad for the baby," She rose and walked into the kitchen.

Sirius was avoiding her eyes, "Baby…oh yes…pregnant. Then…some milk? It might be stalled but I just bought it so-"

"Sirius," Her voice rose above his bustling about the kitchen. This was not her suave cousin. Sirius Black doesn't bustle about the kitchen when he was nervous, that was Molly or even Remus. Sirius stopped when he heard her and turned to look at her with a sheepish look as he fetched the milk.

"Are you alright?" She watched him pour the milk, nodding to him. As Sirius handed her the glass of milk, she followed his gaze down at her belly, "How many months are you...?"

"Pregnant?" Tonks finished and watched her cousin blanch and nod stiffly at that word, "5 months now," She could see the sums running through his head, "it's Remus'," She snapped and Sirius had the courtesy to look sheepish.

"Merlin," He laughed shakily as he ran a hand through his hair, "my baby cousin…I barely accepted the fact that you're married and now you're pregnant. I'm going to have a _little_ baby cousin now…" He rambled, "pregnant…wow…"

Tonks drank the milk. She smiled as she watched Sirius over the rim of her glass, amused, "Yes, I can get pregnant. I am a woman y'know," she frowned at him.

Sirius paled, "Yes, you are," he muttered, "I just…I'm sorry," He looked up and locked eyes with her, his eyes pleading, "you're my baby cousin,"

Tonks shrugged. She hadn't really had a good talk with Sirius after her wedding and she had no idea he would be feeling the big-brother/ father thing about her new established relationship with another man. She had no doubt he didn't hate Remus but thinking about his baby cousin as a woman obviously made him uncomfortable.

"Remus?" She asked quietly, placing the half drank milk on the counter.

He looked up, seemingly torn from his train of thoughts, confused before it occurred to him, "Oh right. Moony, a father now," Sirius shifted awkwardly, glancing at her stomach again.

"Is he alright?" Tonks demanded, following him to the living room.

"He's- slightly hurt," Sirius began hesitantly and before he could stop her, she was stomping up the stairs, "Wait, I haven't told him I'm getting you out of-"

She ignored him. Her hands around the doorknob of their bedroom, she twisted it and opened the door, filled with anticipation, her heart close to bursting but there was no one. The bed was neatly made, the curtains drawn and the room dark. It looked like no one has slept here in a while.

"Nymph…" Sirius touched her shoulder, "this way…" She turned to see him warily turning to the door further down the hallway; the door to the guestroom. She frowned at him, "You have to forgive him, Nymph. He couldn't bear it, sleeping in that bed when we don't even know if you were alive," He muttered to the door, a hand already on the knob, "it was just…so full of you, too much for Remus-"

She barreled past him and flung the door open.

Lying on the single bed lined up against the wall was a lone figure. The covers were around him up to his waist. When her eyes grow used to the darkness, she could see him. Half of his face was wrapped up in thick rolls of bandage down to his neck, disappearing under his buttoned up shirt. He was asleep, as she could see from the closed eye that wasn't covered by bandages.

Her breath caught as she neared him on shaking legs. She sank to the floor awkwardly by his bedside so that her face was levelled with his. Careful to accommodate her belly, she leant closer. She took his hand which she noticed was bandaged up as well. She brought his hand up to her face, pressing her cheek against his bandaged palm. The strong smell of pain relief balm assaulted her nostrils and she flinched.

"Remus?" Tonks whispered, her other hand trailing his cheek which wasn't bandaged. She could feel the scar on it, "Remus, wake up please,"

He stirred, his fingers twitching against her face and she pressed a kiss to his palm. His eyes fluttered open and he looked up blearily at the ceiling for a moment before he seemed to realise someone beside him. Her breath caught as her eyes connected with his blue one. Half his lips were concealed by the bandage but she could see his lips part to let out a shaky breath.

"Remus," She brushed his fringe back as she leant closer.

He licked his lips, his eye opened wide, "No…" He whispered. His voice was scratchy, tortured and pleading, "Please, Merlin no. Stop it," She watched, puzzled, as Remus' eye closed and he mumbled, "please no more."

"Remus, it's me-" she spoke but Sirius was there.

"Moony, this really is Nymphie. I got her out. Snivellus told me and I'm sorry, I couldn't have told you…you would've wanted to go and you couldn't…" Sirius spoke from behind her.

Remus froze and he opened his eye to look to Sirius, pointedly avoiding Tonks, "Don't lie to me, Padfoot…I can't, I just can't-"

Tonks gritted her teeth, "Look at me!" She squeezed his hand and he did. He watched her as she pressed a kiss to his palm and then each of the tips of his fingers. He watched her as she laced their fingers together. He watched a smile spread across her face. He watched her eyes light up as her smile reached her eyes. He watched her even as Sirius shook his head with a huff and turned to leave. He watched her as she watched him, not having to speak.

It was the middle of the night and seemed to be the crack of dawn when Remus managed to look away from her face, "I love you," there was resolve in his now steady voice.

"Remus," she smiled as she let go of his hand. She hated how a flicker of panic flinted across his eye as she did but relaxed as she merely made to stand. Tonks placed a gentle hand on his belly as she got to her numbed feet. His eye widened as he saw.

She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling as she rubbed her belly gently.

"Remus," Tonks felt herself smile unwittingly. She felt a strong kick on her palm. She looked at him to see Remus' lips slightly parted as he stared at her belly. Smiling, she took his hand in both of hers and pressed it the swell that was their baby. She felt another shift as the baby seemed to stretch against her skin and she looked up, certain Remus felt it, _how could he not?_

He was so frozen he could have been carved out of stone.

"Remus," her smile slipped as he was still frozen in shock, which normally would have passed by now, "this is our baby. And baby, this is your daddy-"

Remus paled. He shifted and made to sit up. She helped him and watched, puzzled as he stared at her, "how long?" the cold in his voice startled her.

Tonks frowned, "5 months-"

He looked away, seemingly deep in thought, "does it hurt?" Remus cupped her cheek so quickly it startled her.

"N-no," she stammered, "only sometimes when he stretch into my rib but I'm sure this little one didn't mean that-"

His jaw was clenched tightly, his face a pallid complexion and his bandaged hand a fist now as he withdrew, "you knew you were pregnant when we flew to get Harry," It wasn't a question. Remus did the math.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she looked down, both hands on her belly now, "I'm sorry, Remus, I never meant to put our baby in danger…I just…I didn't want to be useless. Being an Auror, someone in the front of the war and then suddenly a mum… it's a drastic change for me to think I had someone else to consider now," A smile spread itself across her lips as she thought for her baby, their little strong one who was so determined to live, to grow and to be born, "everything I eat, our little one eats it too. Whatever I breathe, he breathes it too. And he hears us, Remus," she looked up, beaming.

Remus remained pale, stiff and almost nauseous.

"Remus?" She paused.

"I'm sorry…" He choked out. Remus looked down, rubbing his hand across his face in a form of habit but all he felt was bandages, "I should've considered…before I tainted you like that and now…what have I done-"

Tonks frowned, thoroughly confused, "You gave me the greatest gift a husband can give his wife!" Her heart ached as Remus buried his face into his hand before looking up abruptly when he heard what she said.

"A gift?" He looked horrified and thoroughly disgusted. She flinched as his cracked voice was raised, "I cursed you! I gave you a cursed child! A monster,"

Before Tonks could think about it, her palm collided with his cheek, hard, "This baby, our baby, is the best thing that has ever happened to me after our love. Our baby _is _our love, Remus," Her voice was harsh, guttural and she had practically spat out his name, "He has a heartbeat, he recognizes your name, he knows my voice, he loves us,"

Remus flinched as if she had hit him again. Tonks caught a flicker in his eye as he glanced at her belly. He then looked up to her and his face twisted in pain, "I should've known, our love would be nothing more than the monster that I am,"

The image of Remus blurred as tears filled her eyes. She stood numbly from his bed, retreating back from the man she hardly recognized but loved and still love with a passion, "when will you know that it is not what you are that make you a monster, it's what you do." She whispered, knowing he could hardly hear her but he heard every word, even as he stood from the bed, swaying.

"I'm so sorry," He said in a strangled voice as he snagged his robe and his wand off the table, limping precariously to the door. Tonks didn't watch him leave. She stopped breathing as he swept past her, his shoulder inches from hers. She heard him open the door and limp out. She listened to the sounds of the front door opening and closing with a click.

Closing her eyes, she sank to the floor.

* * *

**Sirius**

He yawned nosily as he scrambled out of bed. Sirius had made himself at home at the Moody's, Tonks' and now Lupins' residence, in one of the guestrooms. He smirked as he thought about his baby cousin and his sullen best mate, probably living up the second trimester sex he heard so much about from James.

Thinking about it, Sirius made a face and gagged a little. He had always enjoyed teasing Moony about his sex life, or lack thereof before now, but thinking about his baby cousin's was a whole other level which Sirius Black was still trying to cope with. But when he got over it, he'll tease them so often they'll gag at dinner. That prude, Moony, would even blush. _Merlin, a man in his mid thirties, still blushing about sex._ Sirius rolled his eyes.

He opened the door to the bedroom, shuffling across the corridor to the bathroom. Sirius spared a glance to the guestroom that, when he last saw, the couple was seen staring each other down. To his surprise, he saw that the room door was left ajar and he rolled his eyes. _To think, they would have a little more thought for a guest like me and actually shut the door…At least I can't hear anything… _

Shrugging, Sirius washed up in the bathroom, brushing back his hair and putting on presentable robes for a change. It wouldn't do for him to actually look and act like an escaped convict with his baby cousin around and she's pregnant. So he couldn't possibly appear like a failure in front of his little baby cousin as well. Grinning to himself in the mirror, he exited the bathroom.

He glanced at the room again and frowned. Moony would normally be up by now. He never slept in. Swallowing at what he risked to catch them doing, Sirius walked nosily to the room, hoping to warn them but who was he kidding. If he was in the middle of it, he wouldn't notice even if Dumbledore swept into the room on the wings and flames of Fawkes.

He lifted a hand to knock and cleared his throat but the door swung open and he noticed the bed was unmade but empty. He frowned and lit his wand.

"Nymphie!" Sirius gaped, dropping to his knees. She was sat on the floor, staring blankly forward. Her cheeks were tear streaked and her eyes were red and puffy. He dropped his wand, cupping her cheeks and frantically wiping her tear streaks away; they always tore at his heart strings, "what's wrong, where's Moony?"

She choked and let out a strangled sob at his questions and the tears emerged once again, leaving him to wipe at them in a futile effort.

"What happened?" another sob escaped her pinched lips and stabbed at his heart, "oh Merlin, you're freezing," Sirius muttered. He leaned closer and scooped her into his arms. She went willingly enough. He made for the bed but paused and instead, left the room. He opened the door awkwardly and entered the master bedroom. He placed her on the bed after nudging aside the covers.

She closed her eyes, turned to her side and curled up, her tears soaking into the pillow as she sobbed.

Sirius perched on the edge of the bed by her head. He was at lost. When Nymphadora was a child, he was always the one who could soothe her tears but Sirius was at lost. She's no longer a child. She's a woman, a wife and a mother now. Sirius let out a silent sigh, where the hell is the father? He fisted his hands.

Suddenly, Sirius felt Tonks shift to place her head of black hair on his lap. She fisted his robe, sobbing in his lap. Tentatively, he placed a hand on her head and brushed her hair back from her face. Almost instinctively, Sirius found himself muttering assuring nothings into her ear as he held her hand with one hand and brushed her hair back with another.

_I'm going to kill Moony, slowly._

* * *

A/N: I thought this might have escalated a little too quickly but there were time lapses which I just jumped over. Like Tonks' 3 months of captivity and a month of 'delay' before Tonks was rescued. Sorry to those who had wished for a grander rescue, I thought this would be more realistic given their dangerous situation.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks go out to the reviewers of last chapter; MoonDoll33, remusdora, Lupinesence, JKStorm501 and Guest!

Do leave me a review for this chapter as well!


	49. Chapter 49: Recovery

Chapter 49: Recovery

"Please Nymphadora, eat," Sirius watched painfully from the doorway as Andromeda sat perched on the edge of the bed. In her hand, she held a bowl of porridge and a spoon that was offered at Tonks for about a half an hour now.

Sirius had tried to drag his baby cousin downstairs for some fresh air and a meal the day after he had found her on the floor in the guestroom and Remus was nowhere to be found. The whole day, he had perched by her side, whispering to her, coaxing her but she hardly glanced his way. Tonks did nothing but breathe. And Sirius could've sworn she only did that because she couldn't stop it.

By nightfall, when both of them had not eaten for the whole day, Sirius decided to floo Andromeda as a last resort.

Sirius found Andromeda in the living room, watching the television that Ted left behind. She looked pale but relieved when she saw Sirius. Sirius had left her alone after Ted's death only because Remus needed him and Andromeda had assured him that she would stay strong for Nymphadora. Sirius quickly explained the situation to Andromeda, which wasn't easy judging from the things he had to tell; namely, her daughter has been rescued and apparently pregnant. Things were happy till the father of the baby vanished and now Tonks was on the verge of depression, refusing to eat. Sirius didn't think it was possible for someone to look happy, confused, sad and furious at the same time but there was no other way to describe Andromeda's expression as she stepped into the house.

That night, Andromeda spoke to her daughter but to no avail. They fell asleep after Sirius ate the meal he had prepared for his baby cousin. Sirius woke the next morning to see Andromeda already ready to force feed her daughter some porridge.

"Nymphadora," Andromeda's voice took a turn for the strict approach; the tone of a mother, when coaxing failed. Nymphadora hardly responded. Her sullen grey eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling. Her hair was black, "the baby needs nutrition, now eat," Something flickered in Tonks' eyes but she blinked and resumed her blank stare up at the ceiling.

Sirius sighed, turning to head down the stairs. As he gazed at the mantle, he found himself staring at the photo taken at their wedding. With a glare, he placed the photo face down on the mantelpiece. He heard Andromeda descend the stairs and turned to see her dejected visage.

"It must've hit her hard if even the thought of the baby couldn't keep her going," Andromeda sighed, "what did he say to her, Sirius?"

Sirius scowled at the mention of Remus, "I wish I knew so I can punch Remus in the face,"

"We have to find him then," Andromeda nodded and said curtly, "where would he go?"

Sirius shook his head, sinking down into the couch with his face in his hands, "I don't know Andy, he has nowhere to go now. This is his home,"

"Not anymore," Andromeda snapped, "this is not his home the moment he walked out that door and left my daughter all by herself. He's not a husband to my daughter and not a father to that child,"

Sirius pursed his lips, "Remus, that fool…what is he thinking this time?"

* * *

His broken arm was still broken but it has been set properly by Sirius. His sprained ankle still stung when he put his weight on it. His broken ribs made breathing hurt. And yet, none of these pains could measure up to his bruised left cheek, where the woman he loved had stuck him. It was a slap he deserved, he knew, for daring to love her; the perfect her.

Yes, he loved his wife. How could he not? She's kind, beautiful, funny, brave, hardworking and loyal. She's perfect, the perfect woman to any man. He didn't deserve her but he claimed her his own after their wedding. That night was the best night in his entire life. He had shown her and given her all his love that night and he had felt her give him her love in return. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

He remembered the feel of every inch of her silken skin under his lips. She had moaned for him, pressing herself closer to him as if he was perfect; him, a monster.

A harsh laugh escaped his cracked lips.

Even as he thought back now, everything was perfect. The memory of her lean body arching into his, her hands running over his skin and her lips moulding against his was absolutely perfect. But despite everything, there was now a stark reminder of how he had tainted her after that night. The thing in her, taking everything from her. It would be a beautiful thought if it were all her but he, rationally, knew that half of it would be him. Half of it would be a monster; it would be a monster.

At that thought, his hands trembled. He folded his arms against his chest and huddled closer to the brick wall, his legs folded closer.

His perfect Dora. He loved her so much that he was almost certain he had never loved anyone else in his life; if this was what love was. But his love ruined her and it killed him to admit it.

He stiffened as he heard shouts of men. He struggled to his feet, wincing at the pain in his leg. His wand was clutched in one hand as he pressed himself up against the wall of the alley. As they drew closer, he tapped the top of his head, disillusioning himself easily.

He held his breath as men in black robes stopped outside the alley. In their hands, they held wands. He watched as one turned to the other, "where did he go?" One man grunted.

"Forget it, we have other big fishes to catch," Another sighed.

"Filthy mudbloods," The last men spat and Remus froze. _So it is true, they are capturing muggleborns._ He had heard Sirius mentioning it but he was barely conscious at that time. In fact, with Dora's absence, he felt he had hardly lived those few months. Everytime he woke up, he would see her sitting by his side, pressing sweet kisses on his face but when he truly woke, she would be gone. Those dreams left him sobbing quietly till Sirius woke.

When Remus woke yesterday night, he was like he had life breathed back into him again. He could feel his heart beating, his body aching, his eyes seeing; the most beautiful thing in the world, in his world.

"Shacklebolt keeps covering for her," One of the men's voice cut through Remus' thoughts as his mind recognized the topic they were discussing, "I reckoned she bailed though, after marrying that half breed," His voice was laced with disgust, "I mean how disgusting can she get. Does she have a fetish for monsters or something? Maybe she like the thrill of danger, adrenaline?"

Another laughed, "A bird like her, metamorphagus, could get any man she wants. And she stuck herself to a half breed werewolf. I've seen her myself, unless she kept a morph all the time, she's a fine looking bird,"

"The werewolf capture unit will be knocking down her door anyhow, anytime soon at the rate they're going; thrown 5 more in just yesterday afternoon," The last one piped, "if they don't decide to jump on her for going AWOL before that,"

Remus stiffened. Without more talk, the men apparated away upon discussing where they should go for the next muggleborn. When they were gone, Remus pulled his hood closer around his face and ran.

* * *

Sirius had his arms crossed as he watched his baby cousin clutch her belly and walk shakily to the bathroom to relieve herself. As she reached the doorway to the bathroom, Sirius huffed, his heart breaking to watch her struggle. He marched across the room, one hand supporting her arm, another snaked around her waist to support her.

He felt her jump in shock in his arms and felt a pang of guilt for frightening her but it was overcasted by how his heart broke when he held her. Her arm was like a twig and he could feel her hip through her clothes when he supported her.

It has been a week. She ate after the third day, accepting a mouthful of porridge from her mother. Andromeda was pleased when Tonks finished the bowl, although listlessly. At dinner, Tonks ate as well but after the second mouthful, she threw up so magnificently Sirius was almost certain that she threw up her half-digested lunch as well. From that day on, she ate and sometimes kept it down but most of the time, threw them all up.

Andromeda resorted to giving her nutritional fluids that she had mixed herself, specially for her daughter, as fluids were said to be easier to keep down. Tonks had been cooperative enough, taking in all she was given but she had not spoken a single word since that day Sirius found her on the floor.

Sirius could feel her shaking like a leaf as he helped her into the bathroom. She paused in front of the toilet bowl purposefully, glancing at him, "be careful," Sirius muttered before retreating and closing the door to the bathroom. The moment he heard the toilet flush, he knocked, "are you done?" He counted to five before opening the door. Tonks was hunched over the sink, washing her hands, "my sweet baby cousin," Sirius took her shoulders in his hands, turning her to look at him, "please…talk to me,"

He winced as if he had been struck when her eyes met his. Her once sparkling grey eyes, full of life and mischief, were cold and dead. He helped her to bed, pulling the sheets over her body.

"Nymphie…" Sirius took her hand, cringing as he could feel every knuckle in her fingers too well, "fight, for this baby, you have to fight for your life. You're not having enough to drink or eat, you're not talking, you're not smiling. Sometimes, we worry if you're even alive!" he flinched when she stared forward as if he wasn't in the room. Normally, Sirius would sigh and leave the room, like how Andromeda would but not this time. Enough is enough.

Sirius gritted his teeth and stomped out of the room. He got down the stairs and snatched a picture off the mantelpiece before dashing back up the stairs and into the room. He shoved the photo in her face. It was a picture of Mad-Eye and her daughter.

"Look at this!" He growled, "will this man tell the daughter he love to give up when she could live? Is this what he taught you?" Sirius felt some hope swell as Tonks' unfocused gaze turn onto the photo, "Because, I know, when Moody taught you he wasn't just training you to be an Auror, to capture Dark Wizards or fight them. He would've trained you to be strong, a strong woman who would fight for her own life to her dying breath. And especially for the life for her child who depends on her,"

Her eyes flickered from Moody to Lyra. After a long moment, she turned to look at Sirius. It was the first time Sirius had looked at his baby cousin and recognize that Nymphadora Tonks was in there somewhere. He lowered the photo and sat down on the bed. He placed the photo at her bedside and gently drew her into his arms. She went, burying her face into his shoulder. He felt her arms tighten weakly around his torso and she nodded. Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He let her go and ran across the hall to Andy's room.

He knocked briefly before bursting in, "Andy?" The room was dimly lit but he could see the outline of Andromeda perched on the desk, her head in her hand. Andromeda looked up, "She wants something to eat. Real food," The smile that brightened up Andromeda's face was one Sirius had never seen on his cousin since the day Ted died. It was when Andromeda swept past Sirius, mumbling about cooking a sinful amount of food, did Sirius realise that Tonks wasn't the only mother who had not been truly living.

* * *

Remus huddled down after another round of patrol. It was getting colder. He pulled the robe tighter around himself and shivered. All the time, his eyes remained locked on the house and his wand clutched in his hand.

The windows were all firmly shut. The front garden was poorly managed. The sight of the house brought a pang to his heart, reminding him of the hope he had felt, the joy, when he revamped the house with one woman in mind. No one left the house since he came back and apart from Sirius and Andromeda, Remus never saw anyone else come to the windows; he never saw her.

Looking down at his collection of food, Remus picked a half-eaten bread from yesterday and ate, watching the house. The bread was hard and dry but Remus couldn't afford anymore with the sharply rising prices of food. He just hoped the house was well stocked and that no one in that house would have to take the risk to get more food.

As he ate, Remus found his gaze wandering to one particular window wistfully. The curtains were drawn in that window and everytime it fluttered, Remus' heart skipped a beat. What he would give to see her face one more time but he knew, in his heart, he had lost that right to stand before her when he tainted her and more so after he left that house.

He finished the last of the bread and stood up, feeling his knees pop. Making sure his wand was in his hand, he began his patrol on the outskirts of the house just outside the wards. Once in a while, he raised his wand and reinforced the wards again or performed some diagnostic spells for the condition of the wards.

* * *

She looked up. Sirius was smiling at her. Her mum was crying but smiling at the same time. She looked back down and shoved another fork of chicken into her mouth. She picked up the spoon and spooned some mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"Slowly, Nymphadora," Her mother said in that soft motherly tone as she stroked her hair.

Swallowing her mouthful of food, she was handed a glass of milk from Sirius. She took it and gulped the lot down. Her food was served on a levitating tray and for the first time in her life, Andromeda had not objected to letting her have dinner in bed. In fact, Andromeda had levitated the food into her lap herself.

When the plates were finally empty, Andromeda smiled, waving her wand and the tray levitated itself downstairs, "would you like something for dessert?"

Silence. She nodded.

Andromeda smiled, "good, I made your favourite dessert," With that, she swept out of the room, smiling at Sirius as she squeezed his shoulder.

Sirius, perched on the edge of her bed all the while, looked fondly at his baby cousin, "She's gonna stuff you, you know that right?"

She locked eyes with her cousin, noticing not for the first time that they had the same eyes. She allowed the tips of her lips to turn up into a semblance of a smile.

He patted her leg gently before getting up, "I'll go down to see if she needs any help," Sirius made it to the door before he heard a soft snort. He turned and grinned, "who am I kidding, right? I'll do you a favour and eat some," He winked and disappeared.

She looked at the empty space where her cousin was, absently caressing her pregnant belly. She reached over to her bedside and gazed down at the less marred face of her mentor. He smiled at her before glancing at his daughter lovingly.

Sirius was right. She owed everything she had to him.

He taught her to fight, to be strong and made her an Auror. Now, with the situation more dangerous than ever, those skills saved her life more than once. He saved her life as well. But more so, she wouldn't forget that he also made sure she had the love of her life; that she would be happy with someone responsible to be with her for the rest of her life. It was Mad-Eye who convinced him that he could love her, he could have her. In a way, Mad-Eye also assured her that he was dependable and trustworthy.

_You said he wouldn't, but he hurt me…but I don't want you to hurt him. I want you to bring him back to me…what will I do without him? How will I live?_

Tell me. Teach me.

* * *

"You promised you come back to me, always," Remus frowned. He opened his eyes to see his wife sprawled on top of him, her chin propped on his chest. Her beautiful lips were pouting, her eyes flashing with resentment, "don't you remember?"

Remus' brows knitted, "I do remember. That was the second promise I promised you. I gave you three promises, things I would do for you always." He reached out a hesitant hand to brush back her hair that fell over her eyes, "And I came back, Dora. I'm right here with you, watching over you," Dora nodded, still pouting as she placed her head on his chest, fisting his shirt. He smiled as he tilted her face up, "I also remember the first promise. To kiss you." He took her lips and she responded eagerly, moaning into his mouth. He couldn't refrain from letting loose a feral growl.

She gasped suddenly and broke the kiss. He made to object but she sat up and looked down. He followed her gaze and his eyes widened as he saw her pregnant belly, "ouch, why is he always interrupting us?"

_Imagine that, me as a mum._ Remus recalled her musing. Even as he looked at her now, heavily pregnant, he still wanted to tell her what he wanted to tell her then; It sounds perfect. _You'll be the mum every child wants. And I'm the father no child would want to be related to._

"Our baby is kicking again, Remus," She placed both hands on her belly, "a lot," Remus frowned in worry, sitting up to comfort her but when he lifted his hands, they were paws. He froze in horror as Dora smiled at him. She reached out a hand and he felt her caress his snout gently. Then her face twisted in pain and she balked, falling to the floor, writhing. The wolf jumped back, startled.

There was a terrible sound of cracking of bones. Then he watched as Dora screamed, her belly ripping open. The wolf howled as it saw its cub scrambling out from the bloody mess that was its mother. The bloodied cub walked unsteadily to the wolf, whimpering. The wolf huffed, sniffing the cub's coat before licking at it to uncover light pink fur underneath. When the wolf looked up again, he stared at the bloodied and still mess that was its mate, staring at him with wide frozen eyes.

"No!" Remus sat up. For a moment, all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. It was dark. It took him another moment to remember that he was sleeping at the base of a tree, huddled up under his robes. He picked up his wand with shaking hands and struggled to stand. His back hurt and his legs were numb but he limped to the tree line so he could gaze at the house. The windows were all dark and the house was, "Dora…"

* * *

A/N: References: chapter 22 (for the promise and Tonks' mention about being a mother) and chapter 36 (for Mad-Eye convincing her that Remus is dependable). I apologise as this is just a filler of how Tonks and Remus are coping separately! I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless!

Much thanks to people who reviewed the last chapter, you guys are such an inspiration. Thanks goes to remusdora, Lupinesence, guest and wotcher98!

Don't forget to drop me a review for this chapter! It'll probably make the next chapter come much quicker ;) probably in the middle of this week, if not, next weekend!


	50. Chapter 50: Promises

Hi! I've recently posted a new story, **Once in a Full Moon** (warning: it is unorthodox), do check it out and leave me a review about it! And so enough of the shameless advertising, enjoy!

Chapter 50: Promises

"How is she?" Andromeda looked up from her cooking as Sirius descended the stairs.

Sirius paused at the counter of the kitchen, running a hand through his thick black hair, "the same," at Andromeda's panicked look, Sirius corrected, "same as yesterday and the day before." Andromeda relaxed. It has been two days since Tonks regained her appetite for food. She hadn't shown any signs of fattening up anytime soon but she was holding her own pretty well. A little of her colour had returned to her cheeks and she wasn't bone thin, as she had been. However, her hair was still black as night, reflective of her mood.

"Anything in particular she wants to eat?" Andromeda asked.

Sirius shrugged, "she didn't say a single word. She smiled a little though,"

Andromeda sighed, "she shouldn't be so quiet. It's worrying. Merlin knows I had a lot to complain about when I was pregnant with Nymphadora,"

Sirius scoffed, "tell me about it," Andromeda glared however a smile turned the edge of her lips upwards.

"Do you really have not a clue where Remus would be?" She spoke, "not that he deserved to be here for her but she needs him. Just as I needed Ted when I had Nymphadora," Andromeda's voice hitched upon the mention of her deceased husband.

"Andromeda, I already went by James' and Lily's graves late last night and no, he's not there," Sirius sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, "there's no place he could've gone, especially now that the werewolf legislations are coming up stricter than it usually is,"

Nodded with a sigh before Sirius left her to her cooking and wandered to the window. He shifted the curtains aside and peered out. The weather was quickly progressing into winter but it was a nice day with a little rare sunshine. He was wondering if he should drag Nymphie out for some sunshine when three men appeared on the outskirts of their house. Sirius frowned, retreating from the window, drawing his wand.

"MISS TONKS, WE'RE FROM THE WEREWOLF CAPTURE UNIT AND WE UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A WEREWOLF LIVING ON YOUR PROPERTY. WOULD YOU KINDLY ALLOW US ACCESS TO YOUR PROPERTY TO APPREHEND THE CREATURE BACK TO THE MINISTRY FOR SOME SAFETY PROCEDURES," A magically amplified voice boomed. Sirius cringed, glancing upstairs and hoping Nymphie would stay in her room.

Andromeda dashed out of the kitchen, her wand in hand and her face paled, "Sirius, you have to hide, you can't let them find you and throw you back into-"

Sirius grabbed her shoulders, "Hush, Andy. It'll be fine, I'm an animagus, remember? I'll just be the family dog," Andromeda nodded frantically, "Just tell them Remus isn't here and hopefully they'll just leave it, he isn't anyway,"

Sirius made to shift but Andromeda grabbed his arm, "if they don't leave, promise me, you'll protect Nymphadora, no matter what," Sirius locked eyes with his cousin for a couple of seconds before he clenched his teeth and nodded.

With that, Sirius shifted and barked at Andromeda. She nodded and opened the door. With a wave of her wand, the three men walked past the outermost wards without trouble. As they marched across the greens to them, Sirius planted himself right beside Andromeda, glancing back at the window of Nymphie's room, praying she wouldn't trouble herself.

They paused outside the inner ward and Andromeda glanced at Sirius as she walked out to meet them, "Ma'am, we would appreciate if you would allow us to access your property-"

"He's not here," Andromeda snapped.

One of them raised a brow, "We have information that he is,"

"He's not," She stared at them coldly, "He left,"

The one in charge, tall and lean with a mop of brown hair, seemed to consider this for a moment, "Then I suppose you wouldn't mind us going in to have a quick look before leaving?"

Andromeda regarded them suspiciously.

"Isn't this awfully a lot of protection for a regular household?" One of the lackeys remarked.

Andromeda glared at him, "We need these wards since ministry personnels like yourself seem to find it in your right to trespass people's property like that. No doubt if I didn't have these wards, you'll have knocked my door down,"

A brown headed man smiled, "In fact, we do have the rights to do so," he drew out a rolled up piece of parchment; a warrant no doubt, "and you are? I've seen Auror Tonks once or twice in the ministry and you're not her,"

Andromeda stared at him haughtily, "Nymphadora is my daughter,"

"Mrs Tonks, then," He smiled again, "if you would please,"

Andromeda stared at him for a couple more seconds. She glanced behind him at his two lackeys when they folded their hands into their coats, no doubt drawing their wands. Pursing her lips, Andromeda waved her wand and the three men stepped past it.

Sirius barked and ran ahead of them, into the house.

"Family dog?" the brown man gestured. Andromeda nodded stiffly, walking in after the men. When they entered, Andromeda positioned herself with her back to the wall, watching them like a hawk. One of them entered the kitchen, another walked around the living room.

The one leading the mission paused as he spotted the picture, face down, on the mantelpiece and when he propped it up, it was a picture of Remus' and Tonks' wedding, "You said he left?" Andromeda nodded, "Why would he leave his 'wife' I wonder, although of course, the ministry does not recognize the marriage. You understand, we believe such creatures shouldn't be associated with witches and wizards-"

"He abandoned this family," Andromeda interrupted curtly.

The man stared at Andromeda a second longer than necessary before nodding. He resumed his walk around the sitting room, "I understand this was Alastor Moody's property previously?" Andromeda nodded again, glancing thankfully at Sirius who seemed to have planted himself at the bottom of the stairs, watching the men closely, "Is Miss Tonks in?"

Andromeda opened her mouth to reply.

"He's not here," Andromeda's eyes widened as she heard a voice she had been praying she would hear but not in current situation. She turned to see her frail and pale faced daughter perched on the stairs. She had a hand on the rail, another hand clutching her wand.

"Ah, Miss Tonks," The man smiled but it quickly turned into a frown when he noticed her swollen stomach and he paled.

Tonks watched him with cold stony eyes as she descended the stairs. Andromeda muttered under her breath as she quickly joined her daughter. Sirius barked and met her midway down the stairs, blocking her way, "I'm fine, Snuffles," Tonks forced a smile as she buried her fingers into his long black fur. Sirius barked his objections.

"Are you- well, Miss Tonks?" The brown haired man gulped as he stared at her belly.

"Get out of my house," Tonks snapped, her wand raised.

"Miss Tonks, we hope you would understand procedure-"

"I. Said." She glared, "Get. Out. Now."

To his credit, the man recognized the threat that an Auror posed, even a pregnant one as he glanced at her raised wand nervously.

"Lower your wand Miss Tonks-" One of the lackeys, young wizard said, his wand raised as well.

Andromeda acted, her wand raised at him, "don't you dare point that thing at my daughter," She growled.

The brown haired man kept his eyes on Tonks, specifically her wand, "Miss Tonks, there is no need for violence here, we just want to have a look if the werewolf is here-"

"Remus is not here, I already told you," Tonks' voice was even but threatening; the professional tone she used at work, "you can take my word for it, or I kill you and bury you in the backyard,"

The man's face, if possible, paled even more. The younger wizard snorted, "Solely for threatening an officer of the ministry will be enough reason to take you in as well Miss Tonks-"

"Even if the both of you come me at once, you wouldn't stand a chance and he knows that," Tonks jerked her chin at the more experienced one between the two, her lips twisting into a small smirk as the younger one glanced nervously at his senior.

Sirius began growling and Andromeda turned her wand to the last wizard who came back through the kitchen, after scouring the back of the house and the kitchen. He stared owlishly at the end of Andromeda's wand. His wand was drawn, but not raised.

"So what will it be?" Tonks shifted, almost lazily, "Bryan?" The brown haired man licked his lips, staring in shock as she said his name, "your badge, sugar," He blinked and turned red, obviously not taking mockery well.

"Your insolence will cost you everything," Bryan hissed.

"Wrong answer," Tonks scowled and Bryan dug for his wand just as Tonks fired swift double stunners. Bryan ducked down. The poor boy behind him barely had time to whimper before he hit the floor.

Sirius barked as Tonks and Bryan exchanged hexes back and forth. Andromeda was dueling the other in the doorway of the kitchen, ducking behind the plaster wall as a stunner came too quickly for her.

Bryan scrambled to the side, the hex skimming his coat and setting it alight, only to run into another. He stumbled and crashed to the ground, swiftly firing hexes to the general direction of the stairs, most of them missing Tonks, a stationary target.

Tonks had failed to feel an invasion in the two wards outside their house and suddenly, the door opened loudly. She looked up, expecting backup for the hit wizards but it wasn't. She stared.

A stunner flew straight for her but Snuffles barked and dove in front of her. The curse rebounded off the shield charm Snuffles casted on himself and smashed into the plaster wall.

Tonks felt her knees buckle beneath her and she clutched at the railings, barely holding herself up.

"Lupin!" Bryan snarled, turning to meet the man he came to apprehend. He stood with increased vigour but Remus rained spells over him at a speed that was, if possible, quicker than Tonks'.

She had never seen him like this. His blue, normally, gentle eyes were burning with fury, his lips twisted into an angry snarl. Tendons and veins stuck out on his neck and temple as he pushed his body to its limit, ducking and cursing at every moment. He looked ready to kill. She clutched the rails painfully firmly as Remus parried away a curse at the last minute and fired a curse back; the latter happening so swiftly she hardly saw it.

Snuffles whimpered and Tonks turned to see Andromeda clutch her injured hand to her chest. Without missing a beat, Tonks attempted to hit the wizard in the side of his head with a jet of red. His eyes widened as he casted a shield charm that was only partially effective. It singed a brow.

Tonks turned unwittingly as she heard someone shout in pain. She saw Bryan clutch his chest and sagged to the floor limply. Remus was running to her. He looked relatively unhurt, "Dora!" He yanked her to him. She slipped off the step and down the stair but into his steady arms. His hand palmed her head to his chest and she panicked when she realised what he's trying to do.

An explosion was heard and she hardly felt it but only felt Remus tense his body in anticipation for pain. A thump was heard before Remus released her from the safety of his arms and turned. Andromeda had her wand raised and the man was lying on the floor on his face, unmoving.

"Are you alright?" He breathed out, his hands scouring down her arms from her shoulders as he gave her a once over.

She stared.

Remus froze in the middle of taking her hands and looking them over. He let her go, locking eyes with her testily.

"Get away from her!" Sirius hissed and Remus jumped, stepping back as Sirius wedged himself between them.

"Sirius," Remus muttered as he glanced at Tonks. She was not looking at him anymore, but staring down blankly. Remus then turned to Sirius. He was furious. Remus flinched as the grey eyes, that his wife had as well, was now looking at him with nothing less than murder, "Sirius please,"

Andromeda gaped as Sirius lunged forward, his fist colliding with Remus' jaw soundly. He stumbled back onto the floor. Sirius marched forward, fisting the front of Remus' shirt. He withdrew his fist and threw another punch into Remus' gut, knocking the wind out of him. This time, Sirius let go and Remus sagged to the floor, his eyes locked on his wife.

Tonks averted his eyes and turned away, "Dora," Remus spoke, his voice cracking. She paused upon his call but eventually, she carefully walked up the steps, one hand on the railing and one of her stomach.

Remus turned to Sirius when Tonks was out of sight. His entire frame was shaking with rage.

"You left her, Moony. When she needed you the most," Sirius hissed, "How could you?"

Remus averted his eyes. He hardly flinched when Sirius took a step to him before seemingly thinking better of it and instead, Sirius ran upstairs. Remus stayed where he was until he saw Andromeda levitating the man who had fainted in the kitchen. He stood and picked up his wand, "Andromeda, let me," he muttered, tensing as the woman turned on him.

"You deserve what you got from Sirius," Andromeda told him before she dropped the man and proceeded to tidy the house and fix the damage instead. Remus knelt and cleared the man's memory before levitating his body out of the house. He did the same with the other two. He left the bodies in an alley far away from their house before returning. He had half expected the wards to repel him when he walked through them but they didn't. The house was already fixed and deathly quiet when he stepped back into the house.

Andromeda appeared from the kitchen, levitating a tray of food. She spared a glance at Remus, "there's food in the kitchen, help yourself," She told him curtly. Then she marched the tray of food straight up the stairs. Remus watched her go, envying her rights to be around his wife; rights that he knew he had lost the moment he left. So instead, he settled down onto the couch, wringing his hands.

_He had heard the crack of apparition in the air when he was in the middle of lunch; which consisted of some potatoes. Remus stood and peered out from behind the shadow of the tree. Three men were there. He frowned as he heard what they said. He watched the exchange with Andromeda and Sirius with pursed lips, his wand firmly clenched in his hand. All the while, his eyes flinted nervously to the window of the master bedroom. _

_He watched Andromeda let the men in and he muttered a curse. Remus watched the youngest of them open the curtains and looked out the window. He could glimpse the one leading this capture pick up a photo frame and speak. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw Tonks through the window. He couldn't hear what she was saying but she was thinner than he had last seen her and it broke his heart. _

_He toyed with the idea of dashing in there and chasing away those men, like he should be doing, but hesitated. He watched the exchange for a while longer and when two jets of red left her wand, Remus' feet made up his mind for him, leading him through the wards and straight to the front door._

* * *

Tonks walked soundlessly down the stairs, her heart almost leaping out of her chest as she stumbled over the tip of the carpet but collected herself. In the darkness, she could see him lying on the couch, on his side. His arms were folded across his chest, his hands tucked under his arm, and his long legs curled up uncomfortably on the couch which was too short for his tall frame. On a closer look, she saw that he had his wand clutched in one hand.

She stood beside him. His fringe has fallen into his face again, like it always did when he slept. She couldn't help herself as she crouched, awkwardly accommodating her belly and reached for him. She swept aside his fringe gently, her finger tips barely touching his forehead. Not for the first time, she felt that her husband was an attractive man. He wasn't the devilish handsome type like her cousin but his soft features drew her in; especially his kind beautiful eyes. In his sleep tonight, his lips were turned down into a frown. Her eyes lingered on his lips a second too long before they noticed the beard that he had grown over these two weeks.

Then she saw a discolouration under his beard. Tonks eyed the bruise on his jaw with a frown. It was swelling up. She traced the bruise gently and then his cheek. He was freezing.

She frowned and conjured some covers with her wand. Tonks stood awkwardly and draped the covers over him, resisting the urge to tuck the edges in to keep him warm and comfortable.. She touched his hair with the tip of her fingers once more, wistfully, before tearing her gaze away from him and turning to go back to bed.

"Dora," His cracked voice whispered in the quiet of the night and she froze. Tonks didn't turn to look at him, she couldn't. But she didn't proceed upstairs all the same, "Dora," She heard the blanket stirring the wind and stiffened, half expecting him to touch her or even embrace her but he never did. She couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed, "Sweetheart,"

A lump formed in her throat, "Don't call me that,"

"Okay," He complied softly, ever the gentleman. The pregnant silence in the air was deafening, "I kept my promise," His voice was so soft she hardly heard it.

"What?" She furrowed her brows in confusion as she turned around to look at him. Remus was sitting on the couch, looking up at her with those eyes; the very ones she couldn't resist from since the very beginning.

He swallowed, refusing to break eye contact as he spoke, "To come back to you," He paused and Tonks could still remember that moment, that felt like a lifetime ago, "I did it, perhaps, an hour after I left but I couldn't just walk in like I never left you so I stayed outside. I have no excuse for what I did. Even if I think I'm protecting you… it was…cowardly of me, to leave you like this," He ran a hand through his hair, "I don't deserve you, Dora, and maybe after this, even more so,"

Tonks stood and listened, drinking in his every word and the velvet that was his voice, all the while trying very hard not to look it.

"But I know now that this is the only way I can protect you; to stay here with you," Remus finally broke eye contact but only for his eyes to flicker down to her belly and holding his gaze, "And with…our baby. I would understand if you cannot forgive me for what I did but please, just let me stay here. I wouldn't be in anyone's way. I'll do anything. I'll watch the exits, notice any disturbance in the wards-"

"Stop," Tonks interrupted and Remus did so dutifully, looking almost relieved she was speaking to him, "Are you asking stay as a father, or as a bodyguard?" She almost feared the answer.

Remus moistened his lips before locking eyes with her and replying, "I'm asking to stay as a man worthy to love you, to have you, to hold you and to father your child," Tonks didn't seem to have anything to say to that so Remus plowed on, "if the child has- lycanthropy and I would then fail to be a father, I, hopefully, wouldn't fail to be a husband as well. So I will stay. Will you have me?" Tonks was mesmerized by the look in his shockingly blue eyes; so fierce, so vulnerable, so full of love, "Will you both have me?" He corrected, his voice becoming softer.

"Remus," She said his name, for the first time since he left. She hesitated on her reply but when she felt a strong definite kick against her, she knew what she would say, "You are wrong, you didn't keep your promises,"

Remus tensed. He knew there would be a chance she couldn't forgive what he did, after all, he did just leave his pregnant wife, defenseless, in the middle of a war. So he would understand completely but it tore his heart to shreds that he had destroyed everything they had in that moment of cowardice.

Tonks was appalled when his beautiful eyes seem to moisten and he looked down, dejected. She resisted the urge to take him into her arms and kiss his woes away only because, those steps were the ones he had to take, "You promised me two things, if you remember," She bit her lips when Remus looked up, surprised and a flash of puzzlement crossed his visage. When he recalled, his face split into a wide smile that made him years younger.

He stood and walked purposefully towards her, slowly. All the while, his gentle eyes caressed her face, so lovingly it made her blush, while his lips were set into a small smile. When he raised his hands to cup her face she thought she could and would melt into his painfully tender touch once and for all. His hands were cold and her blushing cheeks made them feel even more so.

"Dora," He whispered as he ducked his head down, his face inching closer to hers, "do you remember our first kiss?" Remus stopped just short of her lips, his nose brushing hers and making her heart almost burst in anticipation and thus being incapable of speech, "I remember it, vividly," His warm breath on her lips made her eyes roll to the back of her head and he kissed her.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! References of the promise to 'come back to' Dora is in Chapter 22 and the kiss is in chapter 18.**

**Thank you to those amazing people who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are really an inspiration; Guest, Remusdora, moondoll33 and Wotcher98!**

**Please do feel free to leave a review for this chapter!**


	51. Chapter 51: Little Red Riding Hood

Warning for suggestive scenarios and mild language!

Chapter 51: Little Red Riding Hood

He watched stonily as she covered his hand, which was cupping her cheek gently, with hers and closed her eyes. He smiled when she leaned into his touch, smiling, "It's cold down here, you better go back to bed," Remus whispered and she opened her eyes, nodding. He hid his disappointment when she did as he advised and turned away. She paused after taking only 2 steps away and turned back to look at him expectantly.

To his astonishment, she extended an inviting hand to him, palm down, an inquiring look on her face, "come and keep me warm,"

He blinked owlishly before taking her hand hurriedly. As she led the way up the stairs, he found himself watching her warily as she took every step. Remus sighed in relief inwardly as she made it to the top without a problem. He noticed for the first time that she was wearing one of his t-shirts which was ridiculously oversized for her but accommodated her swollen belly well. She wore loose pants and over it all, she wore black bathrobes.

She opened the door to their bedroom to reveal an unmade bed. The tangled sheets were indicative that she had been sleeping in them. Ridiculously, Remus could feel his palm begin to sweat as he felt nerves from the thought of being near to Dora in that way again.

Dora was oblivious as she let go of his hand and removed her robe. She let them fall to the floor. Remus watched her and in the light, he noticed that she neglected to wear a bra and he fruitlessly attempted to swallow a lump in his throat. She removed her wand and placed it on the bedside table. Afterwhich, she sat down and pulled the sheets over her legs. Then she looked up and noticed he hadn't moved an inch from where she left him.

"Remus," Dora prompted him, an amused look on her face. He unfroze and blinked, "your pyjamas are in the drawer," She reminded him, almost teasingly and Remus flushed, nodding.

'I knew that," he muttered, shaking his head; wondering why he was so slow witted around her in their bedroom. He walked to the drawer, painfully self conscious as he knew she would be watching him. When he turned, he knew he was right. She was leaning against the bedframe, the covers pulled up over her stomach and she was watching him. Remus hesitated for a split second before walking straight into the bathroom. When he closed the door behind him, he wasn't sure but he thought he heard her laugh.

He changed hurriedly, throwing his clothes into the basket for laundry which he noticed was empty, before he walked out of the bathroom. Dora was still propped up against the bedframe and she turned to him when he emerged. Remus placed his wand on the bedside table on his side of the bed and crawled under the sheets. Dora did the same, lying down as he did.

She shifted closer to him and Remus placed a tentative hand over hers, on her stomach.

"I missed you," He blurted.

"How are your wounds?" She spoke at the same time.

"I'm okay, Dora," Remus replied, brushing it away. She nodded and he looked at her to see her eyes already closed and she seemed to be on the verge of sleep. Suddenly, something occurred to him. He shot up, out of bed and out the door.

"Remus?" she had jumped when he had leaped out of bed. By the time she could sit up, he was already walking back into the bedroom, looking rightfully sheepish. In his hand, she glimpsed a book, "you want to read? In the middle of the night?" She frowned.

Remus rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand as he crawled into bed again, leaning up against the bedframe, "yes, I want to read…to our baby if it's alright with you," He muttered, busying himself by thumbing the pages of the children's book he held, "I mean I heard that people read to their babies and it helps them with cognitive development or something-" he stopped himself when he realised his wife was watching him with a raised brow and an amused smile. Remus found himself smiling bashfully as well when he saw a spark in her eyes which were absent this afternoon. He had a feeling it wasn't there for a long time, "what?" he mocked a frown.

She pursed her lips in a failed attempt to stop smiling before replying, "nothing, go ahead. I'm sure this little one's all ears,"

Remus smiled and nodded. He adjusted himself so he was sitting up, facing her swollen stomach. He paused as he noticed what she had said. He raised a brow, "and her mum?"

Dora shrugged, "not so much," She closed her eyes, sighing as she let herself relax into the bed.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head as he opened the book to the first page.

"Tales of Beetle the Bard?" She mumbled in question, her eyes still closed.

He watched her fondly, "no," was his reply as he started reading, "Once upon a time, there was a girl called Little Red Riding Hood, who loved to wear a bright red cape and hood,"

Dora opened her eyes, a brow raised, "really? Out of all the children stories?"

"Hush, it's bad manners to interrupt, mum," Remus smirked.

Dora mocked a scowl before closing her eyes purposefully, turning away from him.

"Anyway," Remus cleared his throat, "what is a cape and a hood? A hood is something to cover your head with. It is joined with the cape, which is a cloth over your back that keeps the wind out," he glimpsed her amused smile but he ignored her and continued, "One day, she set off to visit her grandmother to deliver a basket of food. Her mother called after her, "Go straight to Grandmother's cottage and don't speak to strangers! The forest is a dangerous place,"." Remus paused, "A cottage is like a small house,"

Dora smiled as she shifted, feigning disinterest. Though, truthfully, she's very interested but not in the story. She's interested in the way her husband's soft, gentle velvet voice sounds like and the way his gaze would linger lovingly on her stomach from time to time.

"Little Red Riding Hood was enjoying her walk through the forest so much that she decided to stop to smell the flowers. Being the sweet thoughtful girl that she was," Remus said this with a meaningful gaze straight at his wife, "she picked some to give to her grandmother," Remus paused and pondered before speaking, "A forest is-"

"Don't stop, Daddy! You can show me what a forest is when I'm out," Dora whined, pouting. Her wide stormy grey eyes making her demands undeniable to him. Remus' gaze lingered on her pouting lips, recalling how soft they were on his own, how intoxicatingly they moved against his - "Daddy!" her whine cut through his thoughts. He blinked before looking down at his book again.

"Suddenly, the big bad wolf appeared and asked Little Red Riding Hood, "what are you doing here, little girl?"." Remus deepened and roughened his voice for this and Dora hid a giggle with the covers, "Little Red Riding Hood replied, "I'm on my way to see Grandma who lives in the forest,"."

She held her breath when Remus shifted to lay down beside her, propping himself up on an elbow. His head was right beside her stomach, "Upon hearing her say that, the wolf rushed ahead of her to the cottage and knocked on Grandma's door. "Come on in, I'm too weak to answer the door," Grandmother said and the wolf entered and quickly gobbled her up whole," Dora furrowed her brows but Remus continued, "the wolf got into bed and waited for Little Red Riding Hood to arrive. A moment later there was a knock on the door. "Grandma, it's me!" said Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf smiled and said, "Come in!"," Remus flipped the page again.

Dora couldn't help herself when she reached for him and touched the back of his head fondly. He was concentrating so hard on the story and there was a soft look in his eyes. Remus looked up, surprised but pleased. He turned back to the book.

"Little Red Riding Hood opened the door a crack and slipped in-" Remus read, his word were perfectly enunciated and his voice clear.

"Wotcher Grandmother," Dora interrupted and Remus couldn't hide his smile.

"Little Red Riding Hood greeted," He played along well manneredly, "The wolf, with the blankets pulled over his face, greeted her, "Hello, Little Red Riding Hood,"

But Little Red Riding Hood was confused when she saw her grandmother. She exclaimed, "Oh Grandmother, what big ears you have!"

The wolf replied, "All the better to hear you with, my dear,"," Remus paused when he looked up.

Dora's breathing hitched when his eyes locked with hers upon the endearment.

Remus continued, ""But, grandmother, what big eyes you have!" She said. "All the better to see you with, my dear," "But grandmother, what large hands you have!" Little Red Riding Hood said again. "All the better to hug you with," The wolf peeked over the covers. "Oh grandmother, what a large mouth you have!" The wolf grinned and threw aside the covers-"

Remus stopped, alarmed when Dora sat up, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him full on the mouth. He held her close to him, drawing her into his lap, being mindful of their baby. She ran her fingers through his hair. It was passionate, unlike the sweet and slow kiss they shared downstairs. They kissed till they're both breathless before they parted reluctantly. Remus' eyes lingered on her reddish lips, his throat dry.

"All the better to kiss you with," Dora finished with a smirk, her forehead resting on his.

Remus chuckled, "That's not how the story ends," He kissed her chastely on the lips, feeling her smile against him, "but it can be," He admitted and she laughed, nodding. Remus paused and her brows furrowed slightly, "but the wolf ate your grandmother," he frowned.

Dora rolled her eyes, "aren't you romantic, Remus Lupin," She adjusted herself in his lap to be comfortable.

"I can be when I try," He kissed her forehead and they shifted to lie down under the covers, the book abandoned.

They fidgeted for a longer while than necessary when Dora couldn't snuggle up to him, like she usually could, because of her growing belly. She huffed in frustration and Remus smiled, kissing her to appease her before he stood. He walked around the bed and crawled under the covers behind her. He glimpsed her smile as she realised what he was about to do. She wiggled back, closer to him before switching off the bedside lamp. Tentatively, Remus slipped his arm under hers and palmed her stomach gently.

Dora hummed in satisfaction, placing a hand over his as he pressed his face into the back of her neck, "goodnight my love," He whispered, smiling as he caught her hair shorten and turned a tinge of pink under her head.

"G'night," She mumbled, smiling to herself sleepily.

* * *

Dora stirred, her body tensing up before she let out a small scream, her eyes opening wide in the darkness. She was breathing heavily and unsteadily. Her shirt stuck to her body uncomfortably from the sweat. She reached up to rub her eyes and she choked on a breath. Her hands wandered back behind her and she found a warm hand on her hip. Dora took it and clutched it firmly. She brought his arm over her and held his hand in a deathly grip in both of hers.

"Dora?" She tensed from the fright she had when she heard his husky sleep-filled voice close behind her. Dora felt his hand grasp one of hers in return and felt him shift. A small wave of panic filled her and she turned clumsily. She heard a flick of a switch and the bedside lamp lit up the room, momentarily blinding her. She blinked, her hand blindly grasping for him, "Dora, I'm here," She felt a hand on her cheek before she saw the face of her husband before her.

Dora looked at him unblinkingly, letting the fact that he was still here beside her sink in before she visibly relaxed, laying back into bed, her eyes still locked on him. His eyes had traces of sleep in them, half his face still had the sleep lines he had developed from lying on his face. On his head, there was a magnificent mess of bed hair.

"What's the matter?" Remus frowned. Dora's hair was mousy brown and plastered to her sweaty forehead. Her skin was always pale but tonight, she looked white as sheet. Her eyes were wide, drinking in the sight of him obsessively, "Did you have a bad dream?" He eased her back into bed gently, coaxing her into a position to lay her head on his shoulder as he leaned his head back onto the bedframe.

He stroked her hair gently with one hand, the other hand wrapped around her shoulders as he waited patiently for her to speak.

Dora attempted to swallow a lump in her throat before speaking, "I-I think so," she buried her face into his shoulder, breathing in his scent. Her hand on his chest curled up to fist his pyjamas, "I thought y-you left again," Remus cringed, furrowing his brows. He knew this would be something he would live to regret for the rest of his life.

He gently placed a finger under her chin and guided her to look up and into his eyes, "Dora, I would never leave you again. Both of you," She hesitated and Remus felt a sting but he understood. Eventually, she nodded coyly, a small smile gracing her lips. It might take a while for her faith in him to build up again but she was willing to try. Remus smiled at her, kissing her on her nose, "Thank you, Dora, for having me,"

She peered up at him, smirking, and the somber mood was destroyed, "I can't help it, our little one is demanding about having his father,"

He raised a brow, "is she?"

Dora nodded, looking down at her stomach, "He recognises your voice," She took his hand and placed it on the side of her stomach.

"Really?" He gaped in wonder as he felt movement against his palm. And then another and another. Remus looked up, his mouth hanging open and Dora laughed at him, her laughter jostling the baby unintentionally. Remus felt another pronounced kick against his palm but he was staring at her; his beautiful wife who was laughing heartily.

"This little one gets really jumpy when I laugh," She giggled and he was mesmerized. Her laugh became shy when he stared a moment too long, "Remus," she scolded gently.

"I think, she should learn to love your laughs as I do," Remus replied gently. She blushed and he couldn't stop himself from brushing her warm cheeks with the back of his fingers.

"And whoever said he's going to be a girl?" Dora demanded playfully.

"_She_ is going to be a girl," Remus insisted, "beautiful and bold like her mother,"

She pouted, "what if I want our baby to be a boy? Handsome and gentle and kind like his father,"

Remus stared, amazed, "Dora. I did what a man should never do to his wife and child. How can you speak so highly of me still? I'm a coward," He muttered.

"We all get scared once in a while. Only the Gryffindors would be brave and come back to ask for forgiveness," Dora said sombrely, "courage is a choice, Remus. If you don't experience fear, there is no such thing as courage,"

Remus was impressed, again. He had never, by any means, thought his wife to be less clever. In fact she was a bright witch and he knew but it was rare that she choose to speak sombrely and reveal the wisdom she had. He smiled cheekily, deciding to take a jape at her, "Yes, my lady,"

She mock scowled and punched his chest. Remus caught her fist. He'd admit, he was not man enough, yet, to take the punches of the protégée of Alastor Moody straight to the chest. They were the stuffs of legend, as he had experienced once for being her punching bag.

"Dora, you should go back to sleep, you've had so little…" Remus glanced at the clock to reveal that it was 5am in the morning.

She pouted, shaking her head, "I slept so much for the past few days,"

"If you're sure you don't want any more sleep…" He eyed her dubiously but relented, "I could…read to you…" He suggested. Remus reached for the assortment of children stories from the bedside table but Dora caught his hand before he could.

"No," She took his hand in both of hers, kissing his knuckles, "no reading," Her eyes remained locked on his.

Remus smiled, turning his hand over to caress her cheek, "okay, no reading," He nodded, his brows furrowed slightly when he recognised the look in her eyes but couldn't be sure.

"Remus," Her voice was strangled as she leaned over and kissed him senseless for the second time that night. Her kiss was that of desperate want, needing him. She fumbled clumsily with his clothes as he went for hers. Eventually, she drew away and commanded in her Auror voice, "Take off your clothes,"

"So bossy," Remus teased calmly when in reality, her command was whipping up a storm in his pants. He complied when she shot him an intense look of desire. She tore off her own clothes hastily. They leaned closer urgently to seal the space between their lips when Remus paused.

Needless to say, her body was different but Remus had never wanted her more. He had never thought the body of the mother of his child could be so entrancing to him, almost tipping him over the edge. She was oblivious to his amazement as she turned and waved her hand at the door, placing a silencing charm and a click was heard as she locked it.

"Come here," She breathed out as she pulled him in for another kiss, "let's get the blood where it's supposed to go," She whispered against his lips and without warning, Dora pushed him back, hard, so he lay back on the pillows. Remus sucked in a breath as she straddled him. He drank in the sight of her as she moved against him slowly; a sheen of perspiration on her body, her head threw back in sheer pleasure, a moan escaping her lips.

* * *

Sunlight was beginning to stream through the curtains lightly when Remus settled behind his wife, spooning her, both of them breathing heavily but sated. He pressed an insistent kiss to the nape of her neck and she moaned at the feel of his lips on her sensitive skin, "James was right about that second trimester love making," He whispered.

"I believe…the common term for it is 'second trimester fuck'," She panted.

Remus raised a brow, "I thought being a mother would tame that filthy mouth of yours,"

"You secretly love it," she countered smartly.

Remus smirked, his fingers tracings over her skin lightly, brushing over her breasts. Dora smiled and he could glimpse her reddening cheeks. Remus smiled, propping himself up on his elbow slightly to kiss her on her cheek.

His hand, resting on her waist under the covers, roamed lower to her hip and he frowned. He had noticed this when he tried to gain better leverage during their love making but he was too…preoccupied to make a matter out of it.

"Dora," He started, "you've lost weight," It hung in the air for a long moment, "it's too much. You should be gaining weight…" he scolded gently.

She was still and quiet before he heard a soft whisper, "I had no appetite,"

Remus cringed, his hand running feather light touches along her hips and down to her thigh. He felt a shiver run through her as his fingers roamed towards her front from her thigh, "and now? Are you hungry?" he asked. She whimpered as his fingers paused.

Dora grabbed his wandering hand by his wrist hastily, pulling it up to palm her heavy breast, "very," She whispered, sounding to be swallowing a moan.

Remus chuckled, "I meant your stomach, sweetheart," He expected her to blush but instead, she craned her neck to have a glimpse of him.

When their eyes locked, he was stunned by her desire for him in her eyes. Her lips was graced by the filthiest smirk Remus had ever seen on her, "You could fill my stomach," Her hand wandered between them and to his groin meaningfully.

He didn't know if he should moan in pleasure or laugh nervously as the prudish side of him nudged him in objection. In the end, Remus stared. At her wink, he blinked, laughing nervously, "Dora…" he gently scolded her.

She laughed, "I am sure you are the first man to hesitate and reprimand his wife when she asks for sex and suggest what I am suggesting,"

It was Remus' turn to blush but eventually, he gently extracted his wife's very distracting hand away and sat up. He turned back to look at her and regretted. He had tugged the blanket down and offered himself a tantalizing glimpse of her heavy breasts. He swallowed purposefully as Dora abandoned the sheets and sat up. Despite spending the night staring at his beautifully nude wife, he still couldn't stop doing so as she straddled him, folding her legs behind his hips.

"Dora," He furrowed his brows, clearing his throat as his voice came out as a small croak. She smirked. Suddenly, there was a sound from the door and both of them stopped and turned to see the handle of the door rattling, being tried from the outside. Remus waved his hand to remove the silencing spell.

"Nymphie?" Sirius' puzzled voice sounded from outside and he knocked, "Why did you lock the door? Are you alright?"

Dora finally blushed but she didn't make to move from Remus' lap, "I'm fine," She called back but Sirius tried the door again.

"Open the door, Nymphie," Sirius' muffled voice was impatient and worried.

Remus gently coaxed her off his lap and onto the bed. He covered her with the blanket before he got up from the bed. Dora stared at his naked body with a smirk and he blushed a deep red, glad Sirius interrupted before Dora got into her ministrations. It would have been an awkward conversation. He hurriedly slid on his pants on the way to the door, stumbling slightly. He heard a soft laugh behind him and couldn't help but smile at that beautiful sound.

He waved his hand over the door to unlock it.

Sirius stood on the other side. He had dressed properly and neatly, unlike the drunk Sirius a few years back. His brows were furrowed, his eyes clouded with worry, which quickly turned to confusion then anger as he saw Remus, "You?!" Sirius growled and he shoved Remus backwards, hard, "I told you to get away from her!"

"Sirius!" Dora hissed from the bed.

He turned to see his cousin on the bed and immediately noticed her state of undress from her bare shoulders. Sirius turned on Remus, looking twice as mad, "How dare you!"

"He is my husband and the father of my child! He has the rights to be in our bedroom, touch me and love me! And that's more I can say for you!" Dora blurted in a fit of anger.

Sirius froze. He turned to Dora, revealing nothing. Something flickered in his eyes before he turned to head out of the door, "I'll bring breakfast up for you in a moment," He muttered, walked out and closed the door behind him before Remus or Dora could formulate a reply.

Dora watched him go, a look of guilt and regret on her face. Tears stung her eyes. Remus slipped into bed by her side and she wordlessly leant into his embrace, "oh Remus…" she mumbled, burying her face into his bared and scarred chest, "this baby is driving my temper nuts," she whimpered.

Remus laughed lightly, burying his nose into her, now, bubblegum pink hair and breathing her in, "Sirius will be alright. Although, a soothing balm, that only his sweet baby cousin can provide, would help," he teased. His smile immediately turned to a wince when he felt a sharp pain in his arm. He looked down, yanking his arm away, to see Dora having a firm hold of his flesh between the crook of her index finger and thumb, pinching his flesh viciously, "ouch!" He yelled and jumped off the bed.

"Come back!" She pouted.

Remus rubbed the reddening mark on his arm, watching her accusingly, 'no!" He feigned a horrified look, "you're an abusive wife!"

Dora had both hands on her belly. She pouted and pleaded with him with large watery grey eyes, which he could've sworn she morphed to be bigger and more watery, "please?"

Remus melted, opening his arms as he stood at the edge of the bed. She smiled, scrambling closer to the edge, wrapping her arms around his waist. He gave her a good tight hug before releasing her, "breakfast time?"

She looked up at him, pondering it for a moment before she nodded with a smile. Remus beamed at her, helping her out of bed. He pointedly averted looking at her nude body as it would surely stir things that would be potentially problematic to explain at breakfast to his mother-in-law and his wife's cousin. He, however, didn't miss the smirk that Dora shot him as she noticed his efforts as she dressed.

Remus buttoned up his shirt and turned to see Dora frowning at her boots as she tried to place her feet into them. She could barely see her boots past her belly. He raised his wand and summoned bedroom slippers. They flew out of the bathroom and into his hand, bubblegum pink in colour to match her hair.

"Where did that come from?" She raised a brow.

Remus knelt before her and gently slid them on her feet, "I bought them when I was shopping for some necessities. I thought you'd love to wear them around the house at Christmas, when the weather's colder. I charmed them to match your hair and the size of your feet…" He ducked his head, "it's supposed to be Christmas present but you need them now…so…"

"Remus," She buried her fingers in his hair and tugged it back gently so he would look at her, "Thank you, you're so sweet to me," Dora tugged him off his knees so she could kiss him.

They parted and she took his hand, letting him lead the way out of the room and down the stairs. As they passed Andromeda's door, the door was flung open and she jumped when she saw Remus and Dora in the doorway.

"Remus," she greeted stiffly before she turned to her daughter, surprised but elated to see her out of bed, "Nymphadora! What are you doing out of bed? Do you need something?" Andromeda took Dora's free hand, watching her with worry. Dora puckered up her face at that name but refrained from attempting to stop her mother, which was futile for over 20 years already.

"I'm out of bed for breakfast, mum. I need food,"

Andromeda looked astounded, "you've not asked for food since…" her voice trailed off as she noticed her daughter's bright pink hair.

"I think she's hungry, Andromeda," Remus said softly. She turned to Remus and nodded before rushing down the steps. Dora watched her mother, amused, "I see you've been a terribly difficult daughter, worrying your mother…" he muttered by her ear.

She feigned an offended scowl, slapping his arm playfully before they continued their way downstairs. Dora, with Remus' soft reminders and careful manuverability of his wife's footsteps, managed to trip only once on her way to the table and was caught by Remus frantically in that one time; although he thought his heart stopped and never did start in that moment.

"Nymphadora, do you want bacon?" Andromeda called from the kitchen.

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Dora called back from her seat, "and no bacon please…" She almost retched at the thought of bacon, something she used to love, "May I have some eggs instead? And toast sounds great too,"

Andromeda walked out of kitchen with a plate of eggs already ready and a glass of milk for Dora, "I'm your mother and Nymphadora is your name and I will call you by it." She placed the food on the table, "here's the egg and I'll get started on the toast immediately,"

Dora's sigh of resignation was clouded over when her eyes lit up upon seeing the food, "thank you mum! You're amazing!" She picked up a fork and shoved eggs into her mouth. Andromeda looked caught between smiling at the ravenous appetite her daughter had and wrinkling her nose at the unsightly way she was eating

Instead, she turned to Remus, whom she was surprised to catch staring at Dora eat, a fond smile on his face, "coffee, Remus?" Andromeda asked.

Remus blinked and turned to her. He opened his mouth to speak but Dora beat him to it.

Dora swallowed a large mouthful prematurely that made Andromeda cringe before speaking, "He prefers tea, Mum,"

"Yes, Andromeda, thank you for your offer," Remus stood up and before Andromeda could remind her daughter, Remus beat her to it. He placed a gentle hand on the back of her head as he leaned over to whisper a gentle reminder, "eat slowly, sweetheart," Dora nodded absently as she shoved another mouthful of eggs into her mouth.

Andromeda went back to the kitchen, aware of Remus following close behind. As he stopped at the counter and reached for the cupboard which he kept the tea in, Andromeda spoke, "I might not like you, Remus, and more so after how you left my daughter in that state," Remus flushed, ashamed, "but you build her back up better than anyone else in this world can,"

"Thank you, Andromeda," He ducked his head.

"Please Remus," She spoke curtly, "if you want to stay, make this decision the final one, like you should have when you proposed,"

Remus flinched, "I understand. I just want the best for Dora now and I can see I am what's best for her,"

He caught Andromeda throw a not too subtle, adoring, gaze out at Nymphadora. Then she turned to him and said with pinched lips, "Yes, you are,"

* * *

**A/N: Fluff for the tortured Remus and Dora and my poor readers! Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you to those reviewers of last chapter who inspired this chapter; Moondoll33, remusdora, wotcher98 and guest.**


	52. Chapter 52: Living

Chapter 52: Living

A month passed.

Remus spent his days tending to his wife's every need, almost obsessively. Sirius hardly spoke over a sentence at Remus but was ever so attentive and concerned towards Tonks and Andromeda. Andromeda made sure the house was spick and span, cooking their meals as well, even if Remus insisted he could manage and Andromeda shouldn't strain herself.

"Dora, please,"

Sirius frowned, curious as he stepped out of the bathroom one afternoon to hear Remus' pleading tone. For a moment, he thought after their lovey dovey phase after reuniting, they're having a fight. He ran down the stairs only to find Remus standing by the couch, looking helplessly at his wife.

In the middle of the living room, Dora was on all fours on the carpet, her legs and arms straightened so her bum was in the air. Sirius raised a brow.

"Dora…" Remus shifted from one leg to the other. His brows were knitted together and his lips were turned down and he was obviously in distress.

"What are you doing?" Sirius pursed his lips and crossed his arms as he approached. Dora glanced up before resuming her pose.

"Yoga," She panted.

Sirius frowned, "you're exercising? And pregnant?"

Dora didn't look at him but she complained, "I'm not allowed to go out," She shot this at Remus, "you can't forbid me to do yoga. If I don't do any exercise I'm going to go crazy in this body,"

Sirius raised a brow, quipping, "I thought you have had your share of exercise in the bedroom,"

Dora glared at him, muttering something along the lines of jealousy. She then shifted to straighten out from that position. Remus jerked forward, his hands outstretched and ready to catch her as she struggled to regain her balance. She turned her glare onto Remus, "Remus, I'm fine; I just need to let loose some energy from being cooped up here all day,"

Remus bit his lips, watching nervously as Dora started doing squats, "Well…you can do something less…dangerous,"

Dora raised a brow at him, "This is dangerous?" she rose and squatted again.

He swallowed, "it is-" Remus was cut short as he shot forward to catch her when she almost lost her balance upon rising, "maybe we can watch a movie." He suggested weakly and Dora ignored him, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe you should suggest going back to the bedroom for some exercise, that'll be much more effective," Sirius muttered. Remus promptly flushed beet red. Sirius turned to the kitchen and brought out two glass of water.

As he left the kitchen, he heard Dora whisper, "That isn't such a bad idea y'know," but was hushed up by Remus when they both heard Sirius approaching.

"Here, drink up. You have to keep hydrated," Sirius offered her a glass. Dora muttered her thanks before she drank. She paused when she realised Sirius drank out of the other one.

"Here," She pointedly handed her half drank glass of water to Remus, her eyes on Sirius. The man in question walked towards the couch and settled down obliviously, "what's your problem?" she demanded

Sirius looked up; his brows raised, "none,"

"With Remus," Dora frowned, surging forward despite Remus' warning hand on her arm, "You're ignoring him," Remus flinched. Trust his wife to approach this with utmost tact.

Sirius glanced back at Remus, "I'm not," He muttered tightly before leaving the couch and heading upstairs without a backward glance.

Dora was glaring after her cousin, displeased with the treatment Remus got from Sirius. Remus chuckled as he beheld Dora's displeased expression. Her brows were drawn together, the roots of her hair red, her lips in a slight pout and her nose crinkling in distaste. That's his wife, always fighting for the disadvantaged as if she was obliged to do so.

"Hey," Remus placed a hand on the small of her back with a smile, "don't frown, it's bad for the baby,"

Dora turned to him and pouted, "Everything I do, you would say it's bad for the baby,"

Remus chuckled, "Guilty as charged, my darling," he pecked her on her lips to appease her and it worked wonders. Dora locked her arms around his neck, keeping him from pulling away, "Dora," he muttered against her lips, "Your mother-"

Dora huffed and let him go, "has seen kissing before and done worse. Where did you think I came from?" With that, she crinkled up her nose, shaking her head to clear her mind of that image. Remus smiled, placing the glass of water on the table and drawing his wife into his arms and settling them both into the couch gently.

She sighed as she lay her head on his shoulder blade, humming as he kneaded away the knot her lower back gently but firmly.

"Remus…" She muttered as she gazed out of the window, "Christmas' coming,"

Remus followed her gaze and nodded, "Yes it is," A comfortable silence hung in the air, "Do you want a tree for it?"

Dora sat up, her face lighting up in child-like glee, "can we?"

He smiled, "if you want to,"

She beamed, "and presents? For under the tree."

"Yes," Remus nodded. Dora squealed, throwing her arms around him.

"And snowball fights?" She whispered.

Remus frowned, shaking his head, "No going outside Dora," He drew her away and cupped her cheek, "especially not when it's snowing; when the ground would be wet and slippery and dangerous for you,"

She pouted.

Remus shook his head adamantly.

Dora stuck out her lower lip even more, her eyes widening.

He sighed and shook his head firmly.

Her hands tugged his hand gently, pleadingly.

Closing his eyes, he shook his head slowly.

When he opened his eyes, Dora's wide grey eyes were filling up with tears

He panicked slightly on the inside but steeled his exterior. No, he would not relent this time. It would be too dangerous for her and the baby and he would not risk them for anything, much less for Christmas.

A tear left her wide watery grey eye and rolled down her pink cheek.

Remus melted, "My sweet Dora," he closed his eyes and drew her in for a brief hug, "why do you blackmail me like this?" he kissed away her tears frantically, "Alright… snowball fight but only if you let me decide the fine details, like your clothes and how you would look and-"

Her face lit up in triumph and she nodded eagerly, "I love you, Daddy!" she grinned and pressed a firm kiss to his lips and both his cheeks.

Remus hid his smile and raised a brow, "only if I allowed a snowball fight?'

"No," Dora smiled sheepishly, "I love you every moment of every day," Remus chuckled.

* * *

Andromeda was horrified. Sirius grinned at Dora but started sulking when he was told he couldn't go by Dora. Remus was compliant but unhappy about it.

Dora had insisted that his promise of presents would automatically include it. Remus argued but after a few more yoga squats and Dora falling on her bum once, Remus relented with a heavy heart.

Andromeda offered to go but Remus had set up security procedures. Dora had a portkey in her pocket in the form of a scrap piece of paper. It would send her straight home and Andromeda would have to receive her from here if that should happen. Andromeda looked slightly impressed with his thoughtfulness but hid it behind pursed lips and a stiff but approving nod.

Sirius was told the plan by Andromeda but remained in his room to sulk on the afternoon that they were leaving the house.

Remus had transfigured his face so that he was unrecognizable. His nose was transfigured smaller, his lips thinner and his cheekbones higher. Dora was properly surprised with his skills in transfiguration, which Remus took deep offense with. It was subtle differences in his features that made him a completely different person as he pulled a cloak around Dora.

Underneath, she wore a thick white fur coat with a hood and Remus wrapped a thick black cloak over that despite her protests that she was warm enough.

"How did it come to this?" Remus muttered, shaking his head.

Dora grinned out from under her hood at him. Remus sighed and tucked her brown and hopefully unassuming hair under her hood, making her snug and warm.

They were going shopping in a nearby muggle street. Remus sighed, "Alright, time to morph your face,"

Dora grinned, "Wait," she said before leaning closer and kissing him soundly. She drew back and Remus blinked owlishly, "wouldn't want someone else's lips to be on yours after I morph," She explained and scrunched up her nose. Remus chuckled, shaking his head. His wife changed her heart shaped face to an oval shape. Her eyes became rounder from her usual almond shaped. Her lips became thinner and her nose changed from her button nose to a ski slope nose. When her eyes opened, her grey eyes were blue, "how do I look?"

Impressed, Remus managed, "attractive,"

She scowled, "should I be jealous my husband finds my morph attractive?" Her sculptured brow was raised.

He shrugged, "No matter what I reply, I'll never get it right," Dora grinned and turned to the door, "wait," Remus called. He removed a scarf from the hook by the door.

"Remus, please," Dora rolled her eyes.

"It's cold out," He told her with a purposeful look which efficiently reminded her of her promise

She sighed, "It's wet out,"

"And cold," he stated with an air of finality which he rarely radiated. Dora rolled her eyes before complying. Remus gently wrapped it around her neck. He smiled at her when he noticed that goose bumps formed over her soft alabaster skin where his fingers brushed. Then he drew his wand and gently tapped it on her arm, "temperature regulating charm, in case you overheat." Remus explained with a sheepish smile but Dora smiled and kissed his nose appreciatively.

"Be careful," Andromeda spoke and they both turned, not noticing her there before.

"We will, Andromeda," Remus nodded and she inclined her chin in acknowledgement. Dora shot her mum a bright smile before they left the house.

The streets were wet and the sky was cloudy and grey. Remus kept his arm around Dora's waist, making sure she's close to him and also to catch her if she should trip. He had spelled her boots to be anti-slip when he put it on for her so he would only have her two left feet to worry about.

"What shop do you want to go to?" Remus asked as they headed out to the apparition point, "only in a muggle town," he reminded.

"We should get some clothes, as Christmas present for our little one," She decided and Remus nodded before he apparated them both away.

They appeared in an alley in a muggle town. They could see many muggles in the streets but knew the apparition point was spelled to be invisible to muggles. It was raining here. Remus wordlessly casted a waterproof spell on Dora's cloak as they walked out of the alley.

As they exited the alley, Remus felt Dora tense. She kept her head down under her hood and they walked quickly to the store selling toddlers' clothes. Dora smiled at him and he offered a weak smile back. She grasped his hand and they walked over to the shelves of baby pyjamas.

"Look at these," Dora squealed, picking up a blue onesie that looked terribly small, even for a baby, "they're so cute,"

"These, sweetheart," Remus pointed to the row of pink flowery ones.

Dora rolled her eyes at him, "our baby is going to be a boy, Remus. Why would you do that to your son?"

Remus shrugged, "I'm not. I just don't think our baby girl will appreciate blue all the time," Dora rolled her eyes and continued browsing till Remus insisted that they have to move on or they'll never make it back in time.

"New shirt and pants for you," She insisted and dragged him into the nearby shop. The place was well lit but had few people within. Remus managed a small smile at Dora when she looked back to him.

The shop owner was a pleasant looking lady whose brown hair was littered with silver strands. She looked up and smiled when they walked in and Dora returned it but Remus managed only a nod.

Remus followed as Dora shuffled between two shelves of neatly ironed shirts. Grinning, she reached for a purple one and held it up in front of Remus. He hid a smile as he watched Dora contemplate it. She eventually nodded approvingly, "we should get you this one," She smiled. Remus raised a brow and stared. Dora bit her lip but a laugh burst forth from her. He chuckled, enveloping her in his arms; he buried his lips in her hair.

"Do you need any help?" Remus tensed and looked up sharply. The kindly lady was standing a distance away from them, watching them with a small smile on her face.

"No, thank you," Remus replied stiffly. The woman seemed taken aback by his aloofness, a huge contrast to how he interacted with Dora.

Dora frowned up at him from his embrace, "We're looking for shirts for my husband," She smiled.

The lady looked apprehensively at Remus before approaching, "Your husband looks the type who would prefer a simpler design…" She stepped past them and reached for a simple white shirt with grey stripes.

Dora took it with thanks and looked it over.

"Thank you," Remus spoke, his tone softer than before, "this does resemble what I'm comfortable wearing," he shot Dora a gentle reprimanding look. She stuck her tongue out at him, which caught his whole attention.

The shop owner chuckled, "you're a beautiful couple,"

Remus flushed slightly and Dora smiled appreciatively, shooting Remus a smug look, "thank you," Dora grinned.

"How many months in are you?" The shop owner asked.

"5 months I think," Dora smiled.

"Is it a boy or girl?"

"Boy," Dora said confidently.

"Girl," Remus replied at the exact same moment. They locked eyes and the shop owner laughed, "We haven't checked,"

Eventually, Dora managed to insist on 2 new shirts, one dark blue, one maroon, and one pair of black pants.

As they walked along the street to the next store, Dora pouted, her hand resting on the crook of his, "how am I supposed to get you to Christmas present if you're with me,"

Remus raised a brow. He reached over and gently brushed her swollen belly, "this is all the present I'll need from you for the rest of my life. This one beautiful child," Dora smiled and went on her tip toes to peck him on his cheek gently. Remus grinned, turning to press his lips against hers before they could press against his cheeks, "Or you could obliviate me after you've bought the present," He whispered cheekily. Dora mocked a scowl.

Eventually, Remus was blinded folded the muggle method as Dora picked out a present for him. They bought a necklace that read 'grandma' for Andromeda, a neon pink dog collar for Snuffles and a limited addition Ducati magazine for Sirius. Afterwards, she turned to Remus expectantly, to which he raised a brow in feign ignorance. Dora tried to hide her disappointment but Remus noticed the slight dip in her shoulders and the duller sparkle in her eyes, amused. Then, Dora was dragged, despite her pitiful whines and pleas, back to the apparition point and back to the house.

* * *

"We're home!" Dora hollered as she burst through the front door, kicking off her boots by the door. Remus chuckled as Dora grabbed his hand and twirled herself around.

"That took a long time," Andromeda commented as she emerged from the kitchen.

Dora frowned, "No it didn't,"

"You were gone for half the day," Andromeda retorted, her arms crossed. Dora shrugged in happy oblivion as she attempted to bend over to sort her boots out but Remus beat her to it. She grinned at him happily before practically skipping up the steps, Remus hurriedly following to support her if she should trip, "where are you going off to now?" Andromeda called after them.

"Present-" Remus replied but Dora hushed him nosily and they disappeared into their room.

Andromeda raised a brow and managed a smile as she turned around to see Sirius entering though the back door of the house.

"She's happier," Sirius stated.

Andromeda nodded, "yes," She studied Sirius closely, "you're not happy about it…" It was said with uncertainty but not a question.

Sirius pursed his lips underneath his trimmed moustache, "I'm happy that Nymphie's happy, I'm just not sure this will be the permanent type of happy that my dear baby cousin deserves to have," He looked away from Andromeda, "Remus loves fiercely but he's unpredictable. His insecurities would act up any time and there's nothing anyone can do about it when it does. I should've known it would happen, Andy. I should've warned Nymphie and spared her all the-"

"Yes," Andromeda interrupted, "you could have warned her but would she stop?"

Sirius clenched his jaw, "No,"

"So do what you can and talk to that best friend of yours. Make sure he's in it for real this time," Andromeda told him sharply, "Although," Her demeanor softened, "the sincerity he has when he care for Dora and the baby, is impossible to fake," With that, Andromeda picked up an open book from beside the table lamp and sat down to read.

Sirius was stunned but it was a very typical Black way of throwing it a suggestion; sharp, harsh but realistic. Andromeda's right but first, he would have to mend that relationship, he broke by being hostile towards Remus, with his baby cousin. He chuckled and nodded, turning into a black dog as he scampered up the stairs.

* * *

**A/N: I truly apologise for the long wait. After all that angst, this chapter refuses to be written and good news, I've been writing a good number of chapters for the fluffy sequel! Thank you to those reviewers of past chapters who stuck with me throughout all the long waits; Guest, Guest, Guest, remusdora and MoonDoll33. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**

**Don't forget to review this chapter too!**


	53. Chapter 53: Christmas

Chapter 53: Christmas

He could hear laughter from within the room and his heart swelled. It was the laughter of his baby cousin; the loud, boisterous laugh that she always had but lost a while back. Inwardly, his heart was racing as he barked and scratched at the door.

"What is it?" He heard pause in Nymphie's laugh and the door clicked and swung inwards.

Snuffles could see Nymphie sitting close to Remus, on the bed. In front of them were wrapping papers of all colours and design. The blanket of the bed was hastily thrown over them and Snuffles could not see the presents but he didn't come in to sneak a look at his present. He came to apologise.

Sirius bounded over to the bedside on Nymphie's side and sat back on his hind legs and lifted his front paws. In his mouth, the sign he made and hung downwards in his mouth read 'Sorry :( '.

She froze before Nymphie burst out laughing, Remus was smiling already.

"Sirius! What's that for?" She reached out and tousled Snuffles' fur before beckoning him up on the bed and onto her lap, "you don't have to apologise! You just have to forgive Remus…" She scratched him behind his ear. Snuffles' ears perked up and he rushed to get up, licking her face. Nymphie laughed, shoving him off, "you're being disgusting!"

Snuffles barked and turned circles on the sheets with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Nymphie raised a brow, confused but Remus' eyes widened and he shoved Snuffles off the bed, "Don't you dare!"

Snuffles yelped as he fell off the bed.

"Do not defecate on the bed!" Remus scowled. Snuffles barked before he transformed back to Sirius.

"Don't push me," Sirius shot back before he smirked and wrestled Remus off the bed and to the floor.

Nymphie watched as they mocked a fierce fight on the floor, raising a brow, "And I thought I am the childish one," She rolled her eyes.

They paused, "You are!" 

* * *

"I don't think I can forgive you for impregnating my baby cousin," Sirius huffed as they trudged into the forest.

Remus rolled his eyes, "you tried to get us together,"

Sirius pursed his lips, "yes but not get her pregnant!" At Remus' raised brow, Sirius sighed in defeat, "it's just that…I guess she never really grew up in my eyes,"

Remus smiled, "she wouldn't appreciate that thought,"

"I know that's why I'm telling you and not her," Sirius smirked, "And we're both her man slave now," Remus laughed lightly as his eyes caught sight of a tree that was at the perfect height for their house. Taking out his wand, he severed the trunk and Sirius casted a quick levitation charm.

When they arrived back at the house, Sirius offered to patrol the perimeter one more time to check on the wards while Remus set up the tree in the house. Remus opened the door to the house and instantly had both women's wands pointed at him.

"What was the last thing my husband said to me?" Tonks asked stiffly. Remus looked at her and couldn't help but smile. She had tinsel wrapped around her torso and over her swollen belly. On her feet, one foot was still in the bedroom slippers Remus got for her and the other foot was in a red Christmas boot, lined with white fur.

"I didn't talk to you last. I talked to our daughter," Remus mused, "I said 'be good to muma and nanna while I'm gone'," Tonks' lips turned up in a smile as she lowered her wand and covered the space between her husband and herself. She threw her arms around him, kissing his lips.

"And he was pretty good," Tonks whispered. Remus smiled.

Andromeda shook her head, a hint of a smile on her lips as she resumed, what seemed to be, unpacking of Christmas decorations.

"What are you doing?" Remus mused, tugging at the silver tinsel around her belly.

"Decorating," She grinned and waved her wand, helping Remus with the tree.

Andromeda righted the stand they prepared for the tree while Remus and Tonks steadied it to put it in its place by the fireplace, "It's a nice tree," She commented.

Remus nodded his thanks just as Sirius strode in using the back door, "Remus picked it out!"

Remus chuckled and nodded, "that's him." He assured Andromeda and Tonks.

"I see Nymphie's begun decorating a bit earlier, as usual," Sirius teased and Tonks stuck her tongue out at him before carefully sitting down on the warm carpet to sort out the baubles. Remus shed his coat and placed it on the coat rack by the door before joining his wife.

He laughed lightly, "let's get this off you first, and on the tree?" he tugged at the tinsel and helped her out of it, ticking her under her rib gently but Tonks giggled loudly, jerking away from him.

Andromeda retreated to the kitchen to make them all some hot chocolate. Sirius was laying out on the couch, trying to juggle the baubles and failing miserably. Remus took out all the decorations and lay them out on the carpet. He glanced over at Tonks, then he stared. Her lips were turned up in a permanent smile, her grey eyes lit up like Christmas lights, her cheeks a rosy pink and her skin was nearly glowing. Her red and green hair was shoulder length and Tonks had it in a loose bun with loose strands framing her face.

She looked up, beaming, "Remus look at this!" Tonks squealed, "I made this when I was 5!" In her hand, she held a beautiful star. It was golden and was uneven where tinsels seemed to be painted on, wrapped all around it. The tinsels were glowing.

"It's beautiful," He looked her in the eye and told her after glancing at the ornament. Tonks' breath hitched as she held Remus' gaze. Blinking she looked away, her cheek reddening. Remus smiled, mildly surprised she still blushed around him, "I'll put up the ornaments, you can choose them and tell me where you want them, it's safer for you if you sit,"

Tonks pouted but relented as Remus raised a brow and gave her a look to remind her of his terms that she'll always listen to him if they had a proper Christmas celebration.

Tonks handed him a sparkling red and golden tinsel and Remus placed it gently around the tree. Sirius whistled, "Nice, Gryffindors colours,"

Remus tried and failed to supress a smile at that statement as his wife, a loyal Hufflepuff, knitted her brows before sticking her tongue out at Sirius again. Tonks handed Remus a blue bauble and he hung it up but eventually, staying so still got to Tonks and she insisted to stand. In the end, Remus levitated the box, containing the ornaments, to follow beside her as she hung them.

It took them most of the afternoon to finish up with the ornaments of the tree before moving onto the fairy lights. When they were up as well, Tonks placed the star right at the top before she stepped back to admire their work. Remus waved his wand and the curtains closed and the fairy lights lit up. The baubles reflected the lights in every direction and the tinsel seemed to glow.

In awe, Tonks watched the tree and Remus watched his wife, leaning over to kiss her on her cheek, his arm wrapped around her waist. She looked pleasantly surprised as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Sirius groaned loudly and they separated to see Sirius with his hands over his eyes, "stop it! You're making me feel like I'm interrupting something when the truth is the two of you don't have basic logic how to act in public."

Tonks scowled, "this is our house, you are interrupting,"

Sirius' eyes widened dramatically as he shot to his feet, bawling as he dashed into the kitchen, "Andy, your daughter's throwing me out!"

Remus chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing Tonks' back as she scowled darkly at her cousin. From the kitchen, they heard the curt tone of Andromeda's before Sirius shuffled out of the kitchen glumly.

"I'll get the presents to place under the tree!" Tonks turned to Remus with a smile. He looked to object before he hesitated and nodded instead.

"Be careful," He said and watched her go to their room to get it. Remus still felt that fear that Tonks might trip and hurt herself but he knew she wouldn't bear with being mollycoddled for too long. Besides, he needed to have faith in Tonks to take care of herself and he did.

Remus began packing up the empty boxes and looked up as Tonks descended the stairs. In her hands, she held the wrapped presents they bought. Her eyes were trained on where she was going and every step she took was careful. Smiling, he took the presents from her and placed them under the tree. To both their surprise, Sirius approached the tree with two presents and placed them under the tree as well.

* * *

She stirred. Tonks didn't know what woke her. As she shifted to feel for her husband, she only felt empty sheets. Worry struck her, "Remus?" She struggled to sit up, a hand on her belly. She glanced around to see it was still dark and the cloak indicated it was 3am of Christmas morning. They had eaten a sumptuous meal and listened to Christmas carols over the radio till it was midnight.

As was their before bed routine, her husband casted a cooling charm over her, massaged her lower back and feet for about an hour before he spooned her snugly and whispered sweet nothings to her till she slept, feeling comfortable and safe.

"Remus…" She called again and there was no reply. Maybe he went down for a snack, she mused as she threw aside the sheets and left the bed clumsily. Even if the weather was cold, Tonks ignored her bathrobe but grabbed her wand off the bedside table. Since she was pregnant, she was constantly warm and perspiring. One of Remus' shirts that hung down to mid-thigh seemed sufficient to keep her warm in the night.

As she opened the door, she peered out into the corridor. _Lumos._

Treading softly, Tonks descended the stairs, watching her step. In the living room, there was no sign of her husband but the still-lit Christmas tree was still there. She smiled fondly and admired it. Suddenly, her stomach growled and Tonks ventured into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she found some strawberry ice cream and pickles. Prying open the respective covers and snatching up a spoon, she dug in. Half a spoon of ice cream and half a spoon of pickles were like a full spoon from heaven. Tonks moaned softly and continued shoving food into her mouth.

"Dora?"

She jumped, almost dropping her spoon as she turned around with her wand in hand. Her husband, dressed in a white t shirt and pyjamas pants, was standing at the door of the kitchen, his hands raised in surrender, amused.

"What was the last thing we did before I slept?" She asked cautiously.

Remus' fringe fell into his eye and his hair was tousled, especially on the right side where he slept on, "nothing, I told you that I love you and had a monologue about our future. You were woozy and ready to sleep by that time, as tired as you were," The edge of his lips twitched up in a small smile, "which is why it's surprising that you're up at this hour…" He raised a brow as she relaxed and removed the spoon from her mouth, licking it.

"I was looking for you," Tonks replied, turning around to dig up a scoop of ice cream again. Behind her, she couldn't hear Remus' soft footfalls but she felt his warm body up against the back of hers.

"Are you stealing food, Mrs Lupin?" Remus whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

Clearing her throat, Tonks replied adamantly, "I am not. I was just…slightly hungry…"

Remus looked at her choice of supper and wrinkled his nose in distaste, "Dora…Pickles with strawberry ice cream?"

She shrugged and nodded. Remus watched quietly as she finished her food, rubbing her belly gently. When she was done, she pressed the cover back on and Remus took them back to the fridge. He waved his wand and the spoon hovered out of Dora's hand and began washing itself in the sink.

"Come on, back to bed?" Remus asked, offering her a hand.

She took it, "can we stay on the couch instead?" He nodded and sat down on the couch, opening his arms out for her to lay in. A cool breeze settled around Tonks and she knew Remus had casted the cooling charm, himself making do with the chill for being in such close proximity of her.

The tree was captivating and they gazed at it for a moment before Tonks yawned, burying her face in Remus' neck. He smelt like books and wood.

"Where were you?" Tonks muttered sleepily.

On the verge of sleep, she didn't notice Remus hesitate, "out back, just getting some air and checking on the wards," She acknowledged it with a slowly and barely noticeable nod as she drifted off to sleep. Remus smiled, touching his cheek to Tonks' forehead.

* * *

Andromeda opened her eyes to see the white of the ceiling, reaching out beside her, she felt nothing but cold sheets. Then it struck her; her husband's dead. It seemed to feel like it happened a century ago but the problem was, they were together for longer. Stretching, Andromeda sat up and got up to fold the sheets.

Her husband exists now only in her dreams but her daughter and grandchild needed her; she can't sleep forever, not before it's time.

She glanced at the clock as she left her room. It was 7am. The house was quiet and soon, Andromeda had finished washing up and was walking down the stairs.

She paused. Her daughter and son-in-law lay on the couch. Nymphadora was sprawled out on the couch, one leg over Remus' while Remus slept on his side, taking as little space as he could, being very accommodative to his wife. Nymphadora stirred and snuggled closer to Remus, hugging his arm tighter.

Andromeda smiled, heading into the kitchen to whip up breakfast for everyone. Christmas, Andromeda recalled, was always a big affair in the Tonks' household. Ted would turn up the muggle radio that played Christmas carols all day, Nymphadora would be that little colour of energy that ran about all day and Andromeda would be whipping up a big meal in preparation for Ted's family visit.

Nymphadora loved Christmas. It was the only day Andromeda wouldn't nag if she wore her hair outrageous colours. Her contagious happiness was what kept the household cheery; that and Ted's off-tune singing.

This year, Ted wasn't around and Nymphadora was pregnant but seemed happy. Andromeda knew today would be the day the ache of losing her husband would resurface, more than everyday.

Suddenly, she could hear soft Christmas carols from the living room. At first, she dismissed it as her imagination from missing Ted too much but when the Christmas carols still persisted in the background, Andromeda wiped her hands on a cloth and went out into the living room. Nymphadora was awake and standing by the radio which was on the mantle of the fireplace, beside all the photos. Her tousled and uncombed hair was golden today. As if feeling someone's gaze on her, Nymphadora turned around and locked eyes with her mother. She smiled understandingly and Andromeda returned the smile, nodding with tears in her eyes.

* * *

In the middle of their breakfast, a streak of white light was seen and a weasel stopped before all of them and Arthur Weasley's voice came from it, "I hope you are all doing well. We're hoping to drop by for a short visit, if you would find it convenient. We're not staying for dinner but just to drop word,"

They paused before Sirius' and Tonks' face split into a wide grin. Remus and Andromeda managed a worried smile. They hadn't heard from anyone from the Order since Tonks' escape and the streets got more dangerous.

Remus' gaze lingered on Tonks as she turned to him, beaming, "That'll be great!"

"Will it?" He smiled. At her eager nod, Remus turned to Andromeda, who nodded as well, "alright then," He waved his wand, "We would love to have all of you over. Our house remains at the location you've heard but never been to. It's been heavily secured, even more so in the evening." Tonks watched a non-corporeal patronus disappear into the wall. Turning to her husband, she slung her arm through his, a meaningful look in her eyes but Remus averted her gaze.

When breakfast was over, Sirius was extremely excited over the Weasley's visit in the evening. He turned into Snuffles and bounded about the living room madly, barking and yipping at Remus and Tonks. Once, Remus has had to push Snuffles away from trampling over them.

"Snuffles, get the bag by the floor of our room, will you? Please?" Tonks said and shot Snuffles a look. With a bark, he disappeared upstairs.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"The Weasleys' presents," she explained but then touched the back of his neck gently, "Remus…your patronus…it's still-"

"Dora, please." He interrupted stonily. It has been a long time since Remus spoke like that to anyone and Tonks knew he was serious about this. Tonks withdrew, drawing her wand, she wordlessly casted her patronus. A silver werewolf emerged from the tip of her wand. It stood before them, shaking itself out before sitting on its hind and watching them with bright eyes.

"It's beautiful, Remus," Tonks muttered, glancing at her stubborn husband who was pointedly ignoring the wolf, "Remus…"

"It sickens me, Dora," Remus told her through clenched teeth.

Closing her eyes momentarily, she drew Remus closer, "Let me see yours,"

He shook his head stiffly but unavoidably caught Tonks' eye. Eventually, he nodded. His wand hand was shaky but Tonks reached for it and steadied him. A white fog streamed from the tip of his wand. A wolf materialised beside the werewolf, staring at Remus.

"I love you, Remus. All of you," Tonks smiled at the wolf, beckoning it over. The wolf took a step, its snout inches away from her fingers.

Remus looked up, horror etched in his eyes, "No!" His objection sounded like a harsh growl. Tonks jumped and the wolf's jaw pulled back in a snarl before it vanished.

Silence weighed heavily in the room.

"I'm s-" Remus started.

But Tonks beat him to it, "It's okay, Remus," She took his hand, "I'll love you so much, one day, you'll love yourself just as much…" She bit her lips.

Blinking, he cupped her cheek, "How can you tolerate me when I'm like this?"

"She doesn't have to, mate," Sirius interrupted, descending the stairs, "She loves you so much, I doubt her brain's even functioning right, much less notice you're a prat filled with so much self-loathing-"

"Shut up Sirius," Tonks scowled, tossing a pillow at him.

Sirius ducked, "Pregnant women," He rolled his eyes before placing the bag he went to retrieve.

"Thanks," She muttered, "were you eavesdropping the whole time, you rude prick?"

Sirius tutted at her language, smirking, "not the whole time,"

"If you weren't an escaped convict and your other address being 'Azkaban Prison', I'll throw you out right now," Tonks swore.

* * *

Remus went out to welcome Arthur when evening came around. As it appears, Molly accompanied him on his visit. She proceeded to choke Tonks in a firm hug, being very careful with Tonks in her state. Then they sat around the couch, Molly beside Tonks and Remus on the other side of her.

"It's good to know all of you are alright, and especially you, Tonks," Arthur started, a genuine smile on his lips, "Well, firstly, we want to thank you both in person for our sons,"

"Arthur, it's really no big deal-" Tonks began but Molly sat up.

"No, no. We're truly very grateful about that matter and if there's anything I can do to help with your pregnancy, you only have to call," Molly squeezed Tonks' hand and she nodded.

"Have you had any word from Harry?" Remus asked.

Arthur looked grim, "Yes we have. Ron came back a few days ago and is staying with Bill. He refuses to tell us anything about what they're up to but he assured us they're all okay. Whatever it is that those kids are up to, I'm convinced it's…" His eyes flinted across Molly's pale face, "important,"

Remus nodded, "Harry can handle himself,"

Sirius was seated in a single seat couch, his hands gripping the handle of the couch so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"Also, we've discussed with Kingsley and we've set up a radio station within the Order. This would ensure that we're able to keep in contact and a secret passcode is used and changed everyday. Perhaps you'll like to join us? It'll just be a daily thing where we discuss and report news we received that might not be 'ministry approved'," Arthur said.

Tonks sat up, "Of course we'll take part-"

"No, Nymphadora," Andromeda stated firmly, "it's not safe for you to leave this house and travel for as long as you are pregnant!"

Tonks scowled at her mother, "Remus and I went out and we're fine. I'll be safe as long as I have Remus with me. And I may be pregnant but I'm still an Auror,"

"No," Remus spoke up, "no more going out for you. I nearly had a heart attack on our recent shopping trip,"

"We'll bring the recording station to you," Arthur offered.

"Can you?" Sirius asked.

At Arthur's nod, Sirius and Tonks exchanged glad smiles.

"Molly," Tonks reached for the bag, "I got something for you both and the kids as well," Molly laughed and thanked her.

"As did I!" She reached into her pouch and expanded another bag of wrapped presents.

"That'll be about it then," Arthur stood and Molly mirrored, "we'll make a move and be in touch. The kids are still waiting at the Burrow," Remus stood and sent them to the door, "Take care, Remus," Arthur said, patting Remus on the shoulder heartily. Molly pulled Remus down for a hug before they slipped out the door.

"You too," Remus nodded and watched them leave the wards and apparated swiftly.

Seeing a fellow Order member seemed to lighten the mood for dinner. Between Andromeda and Remus, Tonks ended up stuffing herself so much she could hardly move after dinner; her and Sirius as well. Remus chuckled, fetching the dessert while Andromeda cleared up the table.

They ate dessert around the living area where they listened to Christmas carols and laughed over Remus' and Sirius' stories from their school days. Tonks chipped it once in a while. All the while, Andromeda hid her amusement behind a glass of red wine, opting to knit her brows in disapproval.

In the middle of one of Sirius' animated narration of a prank, Tonks sat up straighter, exclaiming, "time for presents!" Her eyes trained on the clock.

Everyone looked to see it was midnight; boxing day, officially.

Remus chuckled, "Alright,"

Tonks grinned, waving her wand and the presents flew to their receiver. Sirius grinned and dug into his package eagerly to reveal the magazine. He howled in delight, jumping out his seat and kissing Tonks soundly on her cheek. She scrunched up her face in mock disgust.

"Should I be jealous?" Remus quipped idly, a smirk on his face. A look of panic flinted across Sirius' face before he transformed into a dog and leap onto the couch to lick her face instead. Tonks groaned and shoved him off. Remus grinned, reaching for the neon pink collar in the half opened package which Sirius neglected to notice upon seeing the motorcycle magazine. He lunged forward and clasped it around Snuffles. Poor Sirius didn't know what got him till it happened.

Andromeda laughed. Tonks blinked and turned to her mother. They haven't heard her laugh since Ted's death. Snuffles stopped his whining and turned to Andromeda, noticing and welcoming the change as well. He barked, leaping onto Andromeda's lap.

"Open yours mum!" Tonks urged eagerly. Nodding, Andromeda placed her present on Snuffles' back, smiling at the sight of the neon pink collar. She opened her present and laughed. She removed the golden necklace from the case. The chain of the necklace was thin and gold in colour. Where the pendant was normally located, it read 'Grandma' in a thin cursive scribe.

"I'm getting too old!" Andromeda smiled. Snuffles barked and she pulled the necklace away just as Snuffles made to grab it, "do not eat it Sirius!" She reprimanded sharply, making Snuffles slink back, whining and acting pitiful; which Remus claimed was what Sirius did best as a dog.

"And here is presents for both of you, from us!" Andromeda made a large wrapped gift float towards them, followed by a smaller one. Tonks grinned, taking the smaller one while Remus held onto the second one.

"Thank you, Andromeda," Remus smiled.

"Thanks!" Tonks grinned, looking down to tear the wrappings of the present. It wrapped a cardboard box. She opened it to reveal an ornament for the Christmas tree. Its base suggests that it was supposed to be placed at the top of the tree. The ornament was a mini life like figurine of a bride with pink hair. Beside her there was a groom with brown hair, his arms wrapped around his bride. Tonks squealed like a child, standing up to replace the star at the top of the tree.

Remus watched on, flicking his wand to remove discarded wrapping paper from the floor, shift the coffee table and one of the presents under the tree; all of which was in Tonks' path and would've tripped her up if not shifted or removed. Andromeda shook her head at her careless daughter, shooting Remus a pleased and understanding smile.

"It looks great! Thank you mum!" Tonks leant over to hug her mother, shoving Snuffles roughly.

"Don't mention it Nymphadora," Tonks wrinkled her nose at that, "after all this is over, Sirius and I would kindly leave this house to the both of you and then this'll truly be your home,"

Snuffles barked in objection but Tonks pointedly ignored him, nodding her thanks at her mother. Snuffles walked off Andromeda's lap and sat beside her, transforming back. The neon collar stayed on, making everyone roar with laughter at the sight.

"No one appreciates poor Sirius," Sirius lamented as he tugged at the collar to remove it to no avail.

"Open the other one, Remus," Tonks urged. Remus smiled, doing as she asked. He gently removed the tape of the wrapping paper and opened the present without tearing the paper. It was revealed to be a large photo frame. In the photo, it was the picture of Remus and Tonks standing before the house they currently lived it; which used to be Moody's house. It was taken the day they shifted in.

"You can thank me for it! It is magical, mind you!" Sirius puffed out his chest, grinning.

Remus raised a brow, "you charmed it?" To which Sirius nodded proudly, "Dora dear, please keep a safe distance away. I've seen the aftereffect of your charms work, more than once, regretfully."

Sirius scowled, "I worked on it for days!"

"Don't worry Remus," Andromeda laughed, "I've checked it'll work fine and not have any side effects," Remus nodded, the edge of his lips turned up in a smirk at his old friend.

"So what does it do?" Tonks asked as she admired the photo. In the photo, Remus smiled at the camera before looking at his wife and leaning closer to kiss her gently on her cheek. Tonks smiled at Remus, blushing as he kissed her.

Sirius cleared his throat, "it's a family portrait and always will be!" he declared proudly.

Remus raised a brow, "I'm impressed Sirius. This is advance magic,"

Sirius sat back and grumbled, offended with the lack of faith everyone had in him, even if it was only a joke.

Andromeda gave Sirius a wool hoodie while Sirius gave Andromeda his 'eternal gratitude' and some cousinly love in the form of a kiss, the latter which Andromeda politely declined.

"Your turn," Tonks smiled at her husband and made to get up Remus stopped her, handing her his wand and she complied, summoning his present and spared him all the unnecessary worry. A medium sized package flew to them. Remus caught it and kissed his wife in thanks before he carefully opened it. It appeared to be a smart black waistcoat, "It's spelled, based on my knowledge of Dark Arts from Auror training and from vol- You-know-who. It'll keep you warm too," Tonks swallowed, "You're always so caught up protecting me and soon, this baby. This is to protect you," She explained thickly.

Remus smiled, taking her hand in both of his, "Thank you, Dora. But you do know I'll take care of myself too, for both of you, don't you?" She nodded, glad, her eyes welling up with tears.

"What about me?" Sirius pouted.

Rolling her eyes, Tonks blinked away tears and turned to her cousin, "That collar would protect you, if you would wear it," She winked at him.

They spent the next hour singing Christmas carols and watching the Christmas lights. Sirius drank firewhiskey for the occasion like a hippogriff. Andromeda indulged and Tonks abstained, Remus being very supportive by having only a sip.

Sirius knocked out on the couch eventually and Andromeda took it upon herself to levitate her drunk cousin to bed despite Remus' offer. She insisted they should have some alone time in the sitting room.

Soon, it was quiet, apart from the soft Christmas carols coming from the radio.

"Dance with me, Remus," Tonks sat up and made to get up.

Remus stood, "If you want me to," he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and her, his neck. She hummed the music as they swayed, "I love you," He told her.

Tonks pressed a kiss to his neck, "I love you too,"

Remus placed a finger under her chin to guide her to look at him, "Of all the things I've had in my life, it still makes me feel like the luckiest and happiest man on the this earth when you tell me that," He kissed her and Tonks still felt her heart quicken and her knees go weak as she felt her husband's lips against hers. He always kissed her gently; so tender it hurts, making her melt right into him. She wanted to scream her joy if only she didn't have to part with him to do so. Tonks pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Suddenly, she felt a kick from the third party in every one of their supposedly intimate moments. Remus paused as well and she knew he felt it as well. They parted and Remus looked, "Seems like we woke the little guy," His voice was hoarse.

"Probably my racing heart," Tonks smirked, leaning closer to grab his lower lip between her teeth.

"Ouch," Remus frowned and Tonks rolled her eyes at him.

"Don't lie, it didn't hurt and you secretly love it," She accused.

Remus smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "guilty," Tonks giggled and she gazed at Remus as he touched her stomach gently.

"It would be a mood killer if I got hungry now, wouldn't it?" Tonks spoke all of a sudden.

Remus drew back and blinked before he burst out laughing, "It would be a mood killer if I starved my pregnant wife on Christmas night," Tonks smiled sheepishly, "what do you feel like eating?"

"Just some cookies mum made," She assured him. Besides, Tonks wasn't fond of having her husband run out in the middle of the night and risk himself to get her some food. Remus smiled as they sat back on the couch, handing her the jar of cookies.

As she ate, Remus decided to broach an issue which had been weighing on Tonks' mind since their shopping trip but didn't mention as she probably didn't want to seem too demanding but was no less disappointed about, "So… I seem to owe you a christmas present,"

Tonks paused mid munch but she continued to do so, "no you don't. You got me these," She smiled, lifting her feet to show him her, currently, red bedroom slippers.

He smiled, watching her with uncomfortable intensity, "How could you even think that bedroom slippers are all I'm going to give my sweet beautiful wife for her favourite occasion?"

She shifted sheepishly, biting her lips to hide her smile, "It's not my favourite occasion, not after our wedding,"

Remus kissed her temple gently as he stood and offered her a hand, "Come on, time for your Christmas present. I would bring it to you, but it would be of a slight hassle," Tonks smiled, taking his hand. He guided her up the stairs and they stopped outside the closed door of the room opposite Andromeda's. It was empty as far as Tonks was concerned, just an extra bedroom, "ready?"

Tonks raised a brow but nodded nonetheless. Remus flicked his wand at the door and a click was heard before the door opened. Dim lights in the room were switched on and Tonks blinked.

It was a nursery. In the middle of the room, on the floor was a soft dark grey rug. By the window was a baby cot. The cot was white on the base and at the ends. The sides of the cot had brown wood. The window was half covered by two layer of curtains, one yellow translucent one and one opaque brown curtain. The wall with the window was maroon down the middle and yellow by the sides.

At the head of the cot by the corner of the room, there was a dresser and at the bottom of the cot was a waist high cupboard. The top of it was cushioned by a thick grey stuffed mattress; a table to change the baby's diapers on. Under it were drawers, no doubt to put baby powder and extra clean diapers.

In front of the dresser, there was a wooden rocking chair, covered with khaki coloured cushions.

"Oh Remus…" She turned to him, tears in her eyes, "why did you do all this without telling me? I was going to ask you about the nursery tomorrow,"

Remus smiled, "and risk arguing you about what work you have to do when I prefer for you to lay in bed to rest?" Despite the molly coddling, Tonks couldn't help but smile, "the colour can be changed it you don't like it and the walls are still waiting for a mural if you want one," she stood there, gazing at everything. He approached her, wrapping his arms around her to rest his hands on her stomach, "Happy Christmas to both of you,"

"Thank you Daddy," Tonks grinned. She approached the rocking chair and touched it, "Remus…did you…make this?" She gaped.

Remus looked down sheepishly, shifting his weight to his other leg, "Can you tell? I tried to make it as smooth as possible-"

"It's amazing Remus… why didn't you do everything with magic?" Tonks ran her hand over the woodwork.

"I preferred to do it with my own two hands," he replied,

"You made everything in this room?" She frowned.

Remus shifted uncomfortably, "just the woodwork," He studied her as Tonks marvelled, "Do you like it?" He asked nervously.

"Why wouldn't I? I love it, Remus!" Tonks threw her arms around him, hugging him as snugly as her stomach allowed, "You're the sweetest husband in the entire world,"

* * *

**A/N: Extra long chapter! I have no idea how many more chapters of fluff it would be but hopefully you won't be sick of fluff yet! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Huge huge thanks to all my reviewers of last chapter, you guys are amazing; remusdora, JKStorm501, HammersNStrings, MoonDoll33 and Guest! You guys are the reason this chapter came our real quick and turned out to be so lengthy!**

**Do leave me a review for this chapter as well!**


	54. Chapter 54: Arrival

Chapter 54: Arrival

"Remus! It's here!" Tonks' screech made Andromeda jump and the pot washing itself in the sink to drop. Sirius opened his eyes lazily, woken in the middle of his afternoon nap, his wand in his hand.

Smiling, Remus looked up from the book in his hands. His wife has been stubbornly rooted to sitting at the ledge of the window of their living room, even if it gave her bad leg cramps and an aching back by the end of the day.

"What's here Nymphadora? Don't shout," Andromeda chided.

"Snow!"

"Snow,"

Remus and Tonks replied at the exact same moment. Tonks grinned at her husband, "It's time!"

Remus shook his head with a sigh but couldn't wipe the smile off his face at the sight of Tonks' glowing eyes and wide grin. Snow came later this year, later than expected. So late that Tonks tear up, on one of her nights while her mood swings were on high, when December, January and February came and went without any signs of snow. Remus held her and promised to magic snow in the house if it really didn't snow. The next morning, Tonks' blush over her behaviour the night before lasted all through breakfast.

Tonks slid off the window ledge and Remus moved his book aside just as his wife sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, "you promised," She smiled triumphantly.

"Yes I did," Remus smiled, "let's go,"

"Go where?" Andromeda narrowed her eyes, folding her arms.

"Snowball fight," Tonks grinned at her mother. Remus grimaced at Tonks' method of assuring her mother that it's something safe.

"My reaction's exactly, Remus," Andromeda said curtly, looking pointedly at Remus, "I thought you knew better,"

"We'll just be outside, mum!" Tonks pouted, "and Remus will protect me, not that I, as an Auror, need any protection-"

Remus placed a gentle on Tonks' cheek, interrupting well manneredly, "I'll make sure she's absolutely safe, Andromeda, I swear on my life"

"How are you going to fight when you're pregnant?" Andromeda raised a brow.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Mum…I'm not going to fight. It's a snowball fight, a little different from actual Auror style fighting," Sirius stifled a poorly concealed giggle from the couch. Andromeda has grown up in a strict household where demureness was more important than fun. Understandably, she has never had a snowball fight. Ted has that covered for Tonks' childhood while Andromeda stayed in.

Shifting uncomfortably as her ignorance of something very simple was brought out into the open; Andromeda pursed her lips, "Dress warmly,"

Tonks beamed, nodding as she got up clumsily. Remus helped her to the coat rack and pulled her fur coat on for her. Her thick pink beanie was pulled over her yellow hair by Andromeda and her fur boots stood ready before the door.

She hastily zipped up her coat while Remus helped her slide on her boots. Then she was out the door.

"Dora!" Remus sighed as he grabbed his coat, shoved on his boots and ran out the door after his wife.

Tonks laughed, looking up at the cloudy sky. She held out her hands, feeling the chill of the weather but she has never been warmer inside. She turned to Remus to see him tugging on his coat over one arm before another.

"I love you," She smiled before turning to the sky and sticking out her tongue to catch a snowflake.

There was a bark and a blur of black tackled Remus to the snow. He fell flat on his face, already struggling with the coat. His coat was over one arm and the rest of it strewn over the snow.

Tonks laughed while Snuffles barked, his mouth turned up in a smirk before he dove headfirst into the snow. His head emerged, dusted white. Then he dropped onto his back, his legs in the air as he wiggled, "Are you making a snow angel, Snuffs?"

Snuffles barked once and Tonks sat down carefully before lying back. She spread her arms and began shovelling snow away.

Remus sat up, wiping snow off of his face, glaring at Snuffles. He paused. Smiling, he knelt by his wife, leaning over her, minding her stomach.

"My sweet Dora, your coat will soak through and you'll catch a cold," Remus whispered, cupping her flushed cheeks with his chilly bare hands. Tonks pouted and stopped flapping her arms in the snow. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Remus' neck and pulled him down on top of her.

"Kiss me now," Tonks demanded.

Remus chuckled before pressing his lips to hers, "it's so cold you should probably sleep here every night," He said it with a spark of mischief in his eyes, taking a jape at all her cooling charms she used on herself prior to sleeping.

She stuck her tongue out at him, "can you bear to leave me out here?"

"No," He replied honestly, "I can't even bear to let you out of my sight," He kissed her forehead gently but firmly.

Tonks smiled, gazing up at Remus, watching the snow fall and settle into his hair serenely. Remus settled for watching her.

In a blink of an eye, Remus yelped as he felt a slap of ice cold snow hit his neck and run down his neck. Tonks giggled loudly in triumph and Remus jumped off her, eyeing her accusingly, as she sat up.

"What?" Tonks chuckled, "what did you expect darling? It is a snowball fight y'know," She smirked.

Remus looked amused as he watched her, "you have no idea what you just got yourself into-" A full sized snowball exploded into the side of his head followed by a weird combination of guffaws and barks.

Tonks laughed as she clumsily tried to make a snowball. Snuffles leaped out of the way as Remus tossed a snowball at him, followed by another which hit the dog on his hind. Snuffles howled as he felt the cold snow. Tonks abandoned the snowball as she saw Remus approach her. Screaming and laughing, Tonks made a run for it but not before Remus could wrap his arms around her firmly.

She laughed, flailing, making them tilt back and Remus lost his balance.

Remus panicked as they fell back. He held her firmly, feeling his back hit the snow with Tonks on him, "are you alright?" He cupped her cheek.

Tonks nodded owlishly, "I'm fine!" Snuffles barked and leaped, landing on Remus' legs.

"You're getting too fat, Snuffles!" Remus snapped and got a face full of snow from Tonks. He felt his wife slide off him. By the time he swept melting snow off his face, he glimpsed Tonks launching a fistful of snow towards him. He rolled to the side and dodged it by inches but instead, saw Snuffles magic a ball of snow straight down his shirt, "Two up against one, it's not fair!"

Tonks laughed, gathering more snow. Remus scrambled to his feet, shoving Snuffles aside as he lunged towards Remus.

Suddenly, a crack sounded on the outskirts of their wards.

Remus froze. The snowball Tonks threw at him exploded in his face but Remus ignored it and turned towards the sound while walking briskly towards Tonks. He took her hand, "get into the house,"

"What-"

"Dora, please, do as I say," He reached into his coat and drew his wand. Remus glanced to Snuffles and nodded. Snuffles barked and grabbed Tonks' sleeve in between its teeth and tugged her towards the house. Tonks yanked her arm back and drew her own wand.

"No," Tonks looked at him squarely in the eye.

"Dora," Remus sighed but out of the corner of his eye, he spotted movement. Wand raised, Remus marched straight towards the border of the ward.

Arthur stood at the edge of the boundary with his hands raised in surrender. Remus frowned, waving his wand to disable the sound wards and invisibility wards, "Remus. I'm Arthur Weasley, here to fulfil our agreement about your participation on Potterwatch. My wife, Molly, gave your child a red hand knitted hat and your wife a hand knitted jumper, for Christmas,"

Remus nodded and waved his wand. Arthur nodded and walked through, "it's him!" Remus shouted back to the house. Tonks nodded and lowered her wand slightly.

"Tonks," Arthur smiled as he approached her, greeting her with a firm handshake and a nod to Snuffles, "soaking up the snowfall?"

Tonks grinned, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Besides, it's the first snow experience for this one," She patted her stomach.

"I'm glad you came Arthur," Remus followed, on Arthur's heel, "she's giving me a heart attack," He said it with a fond twinkle in his eyes.

"Couldn't even begin to understand how you'd feel. Molly stayed in, where it's dry, mostly," Arthur smiled as he's being ushered into the house.

Remus chuckled, "I wish Dora thought the same," earning a playful jab and a pout from his wife.

Andromeda was glad to see Arthur but that was overshadowed by her relief to see her daughter finally back indoors, where it's safe and not slippery. Remus helped Tonks with her coat and boots while Snuffles shook himself off and transformed back, sopping wet. Arthur took out a box from his coat pocket and tapped it with his wand. Instantly, it expanded back to its usual size.

It looked to be two microphone connected to a large rusted metallic box. Arthur then waved his wand around the area, "to send the signal to Lee. He would've love to drop by, to see his former and 'best' Defence Against the Dark Arts professor," Tonks beamed and glanced at Remus to see him duck his head at the compliment, "but it would've been too dangerous to have both Lee and Fred come here,"

"We understand Arthur," Andromeda nodded with a smile.

"This right here would be how we would be able to hear Lee and Fred, who will be referred to as River and Rodent," Arthur said, "we've given both of you code names to participate in the programme as well. Remus will be Romulus, Tonks will be rainbow and Sirius will be Rebel," they nodded as they sat down at the couch, right in front of the two microphones. Sirius grinned as he sat down beside Tonks.

"Rebel, I like it,"

Arthur chuckled, "Fred and George was put off that they didn't think of it first. Anyway, I'll bring us in in a while," He glanced at the clock on the wall, "we should be able to hear Lee," Arthur tapped the box with the tip of his wand, "Mad-Eye," He muttered.

Tonks stiffened slightly, forcing a smile sideways at Remus as he squeezed her hand in consolation.

There was static for a moment before Lee's voice came through. They sat in silence as they listened to Lee announce news of the day to the listeners. Then came the list of deaths that the daily prophet neglected to report. A moment of silence was observed, Tonks clutching Remus' hand in both of hers.

"Alright listeners, now we'll be having Pals of Potter! And you guessed it; we have 3 more guest speakers joining us for today! Let's give them a warm welcome!"

Arthur nodded and gestured to the microphone. Remus leaned forward, "Thank you, River. Hello, this is Romulus."

"Wotcher, I'm rainbow!" Tonks said eagerly, practically bouncing in her seat in excitement.

"Rebel here!" Sirius said.

"Welcome Romulus, Rainbow and Rebel!" Lee greeted, "thank you for joining us today and being with us amidst this dangerous time! I'm sure listeners of Potterwatch are happy and glad to hear from you! If there's anything you would like to share with our listeners?"

The three of them exchange glances and Sirius nodded before sitting up, leaning closer to the microphone, "I would like to tell everyone who is fighting to uphold the good and to protect those they love, to never lose heart," Remus smiled, "There will be times when you'll feel vulnerable and alone and even that you're succumbing to the bad or becoming bad. But know that you're not. As long as you can still fight, you're not vulnerable. If you can't, you have friends to carry you, to fight with you; to help you. The heart is where you truly live and as long as you keep faith and never lose heart, you'll be good; you'll do the right thing. Be confident and be brave,"

"Thank you Rebel!" Lee replied, "I'm sure there are listeners out there whom that speech touched and motivated and that means a lot! Romulus, if you will?"

Tonks smiled at her husband, brushing the back of his neck gently in comfort. Remus returned her smile before leaning up to the microphone, "I wouldn't say I know how to comfort people or say motivating things, like Rebel could. Because I'm someone who once lost hope and faith often and I let people who love me down. But through all that, I learnt that if you care for someone, be with that someone to protect and support them. If you love someone, trust them and always stay together. Because the strength you'll get from just being around that someone would be something you would never imagine you can have. The extent to which you would go to protect them, you wouldn't even thought that you are capable of being so strong," Remus swallowed, brushing the back of Tonks' hand with the pad of his thumb, "So stick together and we'll get through this,"

"Well said Romulus!" Lee exclaimed and in the background, they could hear applauses. Sirius grinned, patting Remus on the back, "and I don't know how we should follow that. Listeners, apparently, you are in for a huge treat today! Rainbow, please,"

Tonks bit her lips and Remus leant over, "just be yourself,"

"I'm not as good with words as the other two gentlemen here," Tonks started sheepishly. Sirius sighed, rolling his eyes.

"No wonder you two make a good self-deprecating couple," he muttered, earning a vicious jab to his rib from Remus.

"And they've basically said all there is to be said in times of war…" Tonks' voice trailed off, "but, please, be safe for your loved ones. You're not alone in this, we're all fighting in our own way; fighting our own demons," Remus squeezed her hand and she grinned at him, "oh and whoever kills the chief death eater gets to be the godfather or godmother of my first born child,"

Lee burst out laughing, "Well said Rainbow!"

The programme with Potterwatch came to a close with Lee disclosing the password for the next session, which Sirius vowed to tune in to. Andromeda pressed a freshly baked, packed and shrunk apple pie into Arthur's pocket before he was allowed to leave. Remus sent him to the apparition point before returning to the house.

He stepped in and stomped his boots on the mat before going into the house. Sirius had his wife in a firm looking chokehold from the back.

"Sirius!" Remus snapped, "Gentle..."

Sirius rolled his eyes, releasing his flailing cousin, "I wasn't really choking her Moony. Besides, if I gently choke her, it wouldn't even pass as a feign choke,"

"You and your sense," Tonks glared at him, rubbing her neck. Sirius muttered a complaint under his breath as he shuffled off to sneak an early bite of dinner from the kitchen.

Remus placed both hands on the shoulders of Tonks as he learnt over the back of the couch.

"I like what you said on the air," Remus said softly.

Tonks rolled her eyes, "It was weak beside what you and Sirius put up there,"

"And yet, it'll be what those listeners remember a year from now," Remus teased.

Tonks smiled, kissing his jaw, "I hope you didn't mind that promise I just threw out there,"

Remus froze, "I thought it was a joke," he admitted. Tonks huffed and stood up.

She winked at Remus, "I do not joke," Remus stared after her as she made her way to the table. 

* * *

The next day found Tonks sitting at the window ledge again, peering out the window at the falling snow. Occasionally, when she thought no one was looking, she could open the window and reach out to catch a snowflake.

Remus watched his wife out of the corner of his eye, smiling at her antics as he worked on a cradle that was to be placed in the living room for their baby. Once in a while, he used his wand to smooth the edges and get rid of splinter.

Andromeda had retreated to her room for a short nap. Sirius was staring obsessively at his motorcycle magazine which he got from Christmas.

Picking up his carving knife, Remus glanced up to see Tonks admiring a snowflake she caught. Then he looked down and began carving.

Tonks laughed as she successfully caught a snowflake without it melting everywhere, just on the tip of her nail. Remus looked up, smiling when he felt a sharp pain in his hand. Unwittingly, a surprised cry left his lips.

Tonks jumped up and off the ledge, "Remus?" she walked quickly towards him.

Remus looked up. Just as his lips parted to warn her to slow down and be careful, her foot caught on the edge of the couch. Remus watched in horror as one of his nightmares played out before his eyes. A look of shock crossed Tonks' face before panic overshadowed it.

She hit the floor on her side, hard.

"Dora!" He shot up from his seat on the floor and scrambled to his wife's side.

"Remus, your hand-" Tonks made to sit up as she took Remus' bleeding hand between hers. Just then, her face contorted in pain as she sucked in a breath. Her grip on his hand tightened unwittingly and she keeled over. 

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for being patient during the long wait! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I hesitated quite a bit on Potterwatch, thinking up the names and their speeches! Hopefully you like it! Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, and once again, inspired this one; Guest, remusdora, Guest and MoonDoll33! Thanks so much for all your suggestions and feedbacks!

Don't forget to drop me a review on this one!


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